BSV Forum - General - The Bloodshedpub

It's National Poetry Month--Spuffy Limericks!

Apr 01 2010 09:47 pm   #1BreathesStory
So this is National Poetry Month.  I thought that in celebration, I would post some Buffyverse limericks I wrote back in December as writing forfits for Spikez_tart-- even though some of them are kind of iffy.  But what the hell, right?  (After all, I don't know what else to do with them. ~_^) 

I also thought it would be nice if maybe some other people would add their own... (Hint, hint...) Here's an online rhyming dictionary to help you along: www.rhymer.com/

Come on you, you know you want to write...


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The first two lines of the following are the Spikez_tart curse that started this whole thing:

There once was a vampire named Spike,
Who took Buffy Anne on his bike,
When his tongue did that curl,
And he called her his girl.
She dropped Angel, Riley, and Pike.

So now for your delectation... the limericks:

Today is a day made for fools.
Spike nods and pulls up some barstools.
He raises his glass
And thanks us en masse
For writing our Spuffy filled jewels.

******************************

The joy of The Hellmouth in May?
Screwing The Slayer in a big way.
It tried a vamp horde,
Acathla and sword,
But Damn! Buffy keeps saving the day.

*****************************

There once was a master named Joss,
Who loved wreaking havoc and loss.
He fucked with their heads
And scrambled their beds.
Whew, man did he tell them who's boss.

****************************

The people of Sunnydale were blind,
They turned everything into a crime.
Missing kids and fangs,
They all blamed the gangs,
And the Mayor just crowed every time.

****************************

How did the Scoobs miss the invasion?
Guns and cammo for every occasion,
Huge complex and men,
Mad science -- "Yes, Ma'am!"
Hiding that took scary persuasion.

***************************

Post apocalypse party and vids,
Was the preference of all his kids.
Horror or action?
Their squabbling factions...
Giles sighed, longing to close his lids.

*******************************

Faith ran into town scared and lost.  
B and friends had no time for her frost.
On guard and attack,
Yearning for a pack.
The Dark she embraced despite cost.

*****************************

Rupert woke up one day not a man.
A garbling klutz spewing flem, he ran.
Embracing the thrill,
Of horns, crush, and kill,
Joyous, he chased down the harridan.

****************************

Sounding carols made the Scoobs smile.
Tricked outside, they found fangs and bile.
Wood stakes passed around,
Dust and blood in pounds,
A Merry Christmas, Sunnyhell style.

****************************

Poor Harm loved her blondie bear, Spike.
But he couldn’t muster a “like.”
He used her at whim.
(She really was dim.)
Then he fell to Buffy’s heart strike.

****************************

One day Buffy woke to The Slayer.
The call turned her into a player.
World’s end right and left,
She was quippy and deft,
It all made her watcher much greyer.

It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself.
Apr 02 2010 03:14 am   #2nmcil
Thanks for posting these jewels -   I particularly like the one based on Joss.

I am not a writer but I thought I would give it a try - I'm sure that I have the format all wrong, but it was fun to try one.  Feel free to offer any corrections.


Ode to the Buffy Bot, she’s the cream of the crop.
Bottom or top, she is never a flop.
Love and effulgence with every glance,
Radiant as "The Queen of Romance."
Buffy she’s not - still I love her a lot.

” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Apr 03 2010 12:11 am   #3BreathesStory
Today's offering:

Buffy’s moves drew every guy’s glance.
The all begged her for just one chance.
Shimmied kicks on the floor,
There were lines out the door.
Spike grinned as he got every dance.


In case anyone's interested the limerick form (which seems to be kinda... flexible):

1. There are five lines.
2. Lines 1, 2, and 5 need to have the same number of syllables although that can vary apparently between 7, 8, and 9.
3. Lines 1, 2, and 5 all share the same end rhyme.
4. Lines 3 and 4 can have either 5 or 6 syllables and they also share the same end rhyme.

Basically, ya just poke away at it until it sounds vaguely okay when read out loud. Heh.

(I know some of mine are awkward sounding.  That stems from the natural syllable stress not working out right--in other words I got impatient.  But ah well, they were always meant to be just fun thrown together little things.)
It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself.
Apr 03 2010 12:22 am   #4nmcil

BreathesStory -

Since we are celebrating National Poetry Month how about changing this to all poetry based on Spuffy or maybe even poetry from the general Buffyverse - what do you think?

” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Apr 03 2010 03:47 am   #5BreathesStory
nmcil-

Umm, I'm sorry.  I'm a little confused by what you are asking me.  All the limericks posted are already Spuffy or Buffyverse.  Are you suggesting that people post poetry that isn't in limerick form if they want?  That's fine with me.  Poetry is poetry.  I like it all.  I just had these laying around in a folder on my computer and this seemed an appropriate thing to do with them.

I think I'm going to try and write one of these a day and post them here throughout the month for the fun of it.  I hope someone else also posts some stuff.  That would also be great.  I for one, would enjoy reading something from someone else's brain.

So here is the official invitation to anyone who would like to post any Buffyverse related poetry in any form.  Come and publish on this thread. 

(I will be sticking to limericks because my writing energy needs to go into the stories I'm working on.)
It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself.
Apr 03 2010 03:54 am   #6nmcil
Sorry for the confusion - I meant any Buffyverse related poetry -
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.