Your Guardian Angel by NighttimeDarling
 
 
Chapter #1 - One
 
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one


Spike knew what he had to do. The minute he put on the damned pendant, he knew it would happen. He felt it, deep inside himself. In his soul. He knew that it was his destiny.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


He was willing to give it all up. All for her. Well, her and the Bit. Two years ago he had told Buffy that he would protect Dawn. He had then, and he would now. Even if dying was the only way to save them.

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one


Spike was many things, but he wasn’t a fool. He knew Buffy loved him. He also knew that she would never be with him. Not completely anyway. Some vestige of her still belived he was evil, and nothing he could do or say would ever change that. Nothing, except giving her the one thing he had. His life.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


He couldn’t let her do it. She’d already sacrificed herself once. It was his turn now. His turn to be the hero. Even if saving her sends him to heaven.

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay


That last night they spent together was more than Spike could’ve hoped for. But, he knew she only did it because she thought the world was ending. When Buffy had lain on the cot with him and finally let him make love to her, he felt his soul soar. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear over and over. He was so glad she hadn’t gone up those stairs.

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray


He had let her use him however she wished. Had let her pull his strings. It was ok, though. It was just how she was. She had too many abandonment issues with men to let him get close.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


He wouldn’t let her die. She deserved to live, as she’d always wanted. To get away from the Hellmouth, see the world. Even to get married, and have children. It killed Spike a little to know that she would move on, eventually. Life would go on. Without him. Strangely, that was all right with him. He’d had his go, and now, it was time to end it.
Down in the Hellmouth, as Buffy held his burning hand and professed her love, he knew that she would willingly stay down there and burn with him. He couldn’t let her do that. As he spoke, he saw understanding fill her eyes. She knew what he was trying to do. She smiled, and went up the stairs.


I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


As he began to burn, along with the Hellmouth, he made Buffy a silent promise. “I will always look after you. I will never let you fall. I’ll stand up with you forever. I’ll be there through it all. I’ll be your guardian angel. Forever”


Song is ‘Your Guardian Angel’ by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

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