A Novelty by Coquine

Chapter #1 - One-Shot

DISCLAIMER: The only thing that's mine is the story. Everything else...All Hail Joss. WARNINGS: None, unless you count a serious case of plot anemia to be worth a warning. Oh, and an extremely high fluff content. Seriously, brush your teeth after you read this one. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic is written in response to Prompt # 2, Edible Undies (hers or his) over at the LiveJournal community 20_hot_prompts. Also, this fic is dedicated to Holly, because she is the awesomest. *~*~*~*~* 'Ha. Ha-ha. Ah-hahaha. My friends are just oh, so funny. Fuh-neee,' Buffy thought, as she contemplated the red and pink package of cardboard and cellophane in her hands. 'That, by the way, folks, was my sarcastic!voice.' Inside the aforementioned package, were five pairs of strawberry-flavored edible underwear. Willow and Xander had apparently conspired to give her the gag-gift for Valentine's Day this year, in "celebration" of her budding romance with one Riley Finn. Really, it would have been sweet in a kind of disturbing, my-best-friends-have-considered-my-sex-life kind of way, except for the fact that said romance wasn't so much with the blooming as it was with the withering-on-the-vine. Sure, she and Riley had gone out on several dates, and there had been some initial sparkage. But that all changed several weeks ago. With a spell. With a stupid, mopey-Willow spell that caused badness in all kinds of various ways, not the least of which resulted in Buffy and Spike in heated liplocks and cuddles for several hours. Oh, Buffy's initial disgust was totally genuine. The problem was that after the first day of being severely wigged, she found herself doing some serious daydreaming of the Lips of Spike variety. As it turns out, daydreaming about Spike Lips only to be faced with the reality of Riley Lips was not an easy transition, and Buffy found her budding interest in the TA rapidly receding. She'd already had to worm her way out of a couple of dates, and she was pretty sure he was picking up on her not-that-into-you vibes. Finally. However, just because she couldn't bring herself to date Riley didn't mean she wanted to be alone, especially at this time of year. She had really been looking forward to trying on a relationship with the Wholesome Normal Guy, and seeing if it fit. Leave it to Spike to show her that it so totally wasn't going to, no matter how much she may have wanted it. Stupid vampire, she thought sullenly to herself as she plopped down on a tombstone in the deserted cemetery. Apparently even vamps had better things to do, and be with, on Valentine's Day. She tore open the cardboard of her package of underwear and slid a pair out, holding them out in front of her and giggling at the fact that they really did look like a pair of panties. "What the bleeding hell are you doing with those?!" Buffy dropped the undies in her lap and rolled her eyes. Of course this particular vampire didn't have anything better to do. And of course this particular vampire, being the indirect source of her Valentine's Day blues, just had to show up. "Trust me, Spike. I am doing precicely nothing with these," she huffed, slightly petulant. Spike arched a brow. "That right? What about the Soldier Boy?" Buffy's head snapped up. "Huh? How did you know--?" "Took me a while to place the scent, but I can smell The Initiative all over the boy." He frowned. "Or, could, anyway. Haven't seen him about lately, or smelled him all over you." "Ew," she wrinkled her nose. "Don't tell me you came to your senses already. Must be a record best for you." Buffy considered being offended, but shrugged it off. He wasn't wrong. "You're not wrong," she admitted. "Yeah?" Spike asked, taken aback at her forthrightness. "Yeah," she sighed. She held up the festive package and waved it at him. "Will and Xand's idea of a funny funny Valentine's Day present. I guess they haven't caught on that the Buffy-Riley bandwagon has passed." Spike sauntered over, and sat on the headstone next to hers. "Well, luv, I'd be lying if I said I was surprised." "You'd also be insincerely concerned for my well-being," she replied, wryly. He chuckled and reached over and plucked the box from her hand, turning it over and squinting at the writing on the back. "Who the bloody hell ever thought of these things? What a waste of time." Buffy gulped at the unbidden mental image of Spike being too impatient for edible underwear. "Well," she began hoarsely, "maybe it was someone who really liked fruit roll-ups. They taste exactly the same." She tore a piece off of the pair she still held and popped it into her mouth, offering him the rest. "Wanna try?" She half expected him to refuse in a snarky Spike-like way, undoubtedly insulting her in the process, and so was surprised when he took the profferred snack. Instead of taking a small piece, however, he lifted the whole thing to his mouth and tore off a large chunk, the muscles in his jaw working the chewy undies into his mouth. "Huh," he said, still chewing. "They do taste like fruit roll-ups." Buffy completely did not hear him. She was far too busy watching the muscles and tendons in his jaw and throat tense and twitch beneath his flesh. She knew intimately how those parts of his body felt when they moved, having caressed them with her own hands as he'd kissed her passionately during their faux-engagement. She came to as she realized he was no longer chewing and had commenced with staring at her. "Huh?? What?" "Uhhh...didn't say anything, Slayer." "Oh. Then why...?" she trailed off, raising her eyebrows expectantly, but Spike only looked more bewildered. "You were--y'know...looking at me like you were waiting for me to answer you or...something," she finished awkwardly. "Nooo," he drawled. "I was just looking at you," he answered matter-of-factly, tongue pressing against the back of his teeth. Guh. Buffy gulped. "Oh." "You were looking at me, after all," he purred. "Oh." Had her face caught any of her clothes or hair on fire yet? That would be a welcome distraction. There was nothing said between them for several minutes after that, though Buffy's pulse did manage to skyrocket as her uncooperatively vivid imagination brought back several images of Spike looking at her heatedly between make out sessions; looking at her lovingly when she told him she was looking at the man she loved; looking at her ecstatically when she accepted his proposal. It all coalesced with the way he was looking at her right now, with a strange mixture of curiosity, amusement, a healthy dose of lust, and...impatience? "Oh, bugger this," he rolled his eyes and stood up, stalking away. "Wait!" The word escaped her mouth before her brain caught up. She jogged up to him. However, once she got there and her mind processed everything, anything she thought she'd been about to say promptly fled. "Uh..." Spike sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair. "Look Slayer, I know--" "I'm gonna kiss you." Spike froze, watching as Buffy did the same while her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "What?" "Uh...I said...I'm gonna kiss you." Spike nodded, bewildered. "Tha's what I thought you said." "Yeah." "Yeah." There was a pause before Buffy apbruptly continued. "I didn't really mean for that to just...come out like that." "Figured, what with that becoming shade of red you turned," Spike attempted to snark, though the effect was somewhat lost with the dazed look that still graced his face. Buffy wrung her hands together. Okay, so there were a couple of options open to her at the moment. She could either write off her moment of disturbing truthiness as temporary insanity and forget the whole thing--and from the thousand yard stare on Spike's face he likely wouldn't argue--or she could just run with it, a decision which was also oddly backed up by Spike and the way his thousand yard stare seemed to end on her breasts. Buffy was reminded a bit of the way his eyes were drawn to her cleavage while they were level with his gaze during the many lap-sitting sessions during their engagement. And thoughts of their engagement swiftly brought memories of that kissing thing she'd been debating about, making her decision that much easier. Buffy slowly approached Spike until she was standing less than an inch away from him. His eyes followed her, or her boobs at the very least, until she and her cleavage was right in front of him, his gaze getting darker and more smoldering with every step. Buffy gulped audibly, before finding her surprisingly husky voice. "You don't have to if you don't want to." "Huhm?" was all Spike appeared to be able to come up with, his eyes still locked to her chest. She lifted a hand to his chin until he looked at her face, and when he did she couldn't hold back a gasp at the desire she saw there. "I, um, I said you don't have to if you don't want to," she repeated a little breathlessly. "Does it look like I don't want to?" he rumbled, his eyes suddenly dropping to her lips. "Does it look like I haven't been plagued with thoughts of you an'..." he trailed off as he lifted a hand to her mouth, thumb dragging across her lower lip somewhat roughly. "...this *mouth*?" he finished desperately. "Oh God." That was it. The proverbial *it*. Buffy lunged forward, hands clutching at Spike's duster as her lips found his at last. Upon contact, neither could hold back the almost relieved moans that tore from their throats. Spike immediately parted his lips, tongue coming out to beg for already-given entrance to Buffy's mouth, surging against her tongue in a rhythm that took her knees out of the standing equation. She groaned as her weight collapsed against his chest, and Spike's arms banded steel-strong around her waist, crushing her to him as he stumbled back until he thudded against the stone wall of a mausoleum. He braced them both as his hands took chart of her body, running up her back and clutching at her shoulders for a moment before sliding down to cup each of her breasts. He moaned when she did as his thumbs brushed across her nipples, and he broke his mouth from hers with a gasp as though he was the one who needed air. "Fuck," he panted, eyes squeezed shut at his head hit the wall behind him. Buffy took immediate advantage of the exposed column of his throat, mouth latching on to his skin and sucking hard. Spike's eyes popped open at that, yelping. "Bloody hell!" His jaw fell open at the sensations the Slayer was evoking, unable to do anything but whimper and clutch at her body as it writhed against him. For her part, Buffy didn't know what had just gotten into her, but she sure as hell wasn't worrying about it now. Now, she was too busy pouring all of her much-repressed lust into doing her level best to make sure the object of her reluctant fantasies was as wild with need as she was. Little did she know just how little effort was actually needed to do that. Spike seemed to remember himself after a moment of lust-addled paralysis, growling deeply as he rolled them to the side, pinning Buffy to the wall and heatedly attacking her flesh. She moaned and grabbed his head, lifting his mouth from the admittedly delicious treatment her neck was receiving and kissing him again, her arms and legs wrapping around his hard body as she climbed him like the proverbial tree. Spike caught on immediately and assisted her by clutching her hips and hoisting her up until her denim-covered mound could grind against his confined cock. They both moaned at the contact, as Spike took advantage of her breasts being mouth-level and closed his lips around a nipple, biting it lightly though the fabric of her top. Buffy squealed, spurring him into yanking at the neck of her shirt until it tore enough to expose her breasts so his lips could wrap around her flesh. The sudden contact of Spike's lips and tongue to her sensitized nipples sent her thrashing in his arms, and Buffy suddenly couldn't stand one more minute of his skin being seperated from hers. Greedy fingers wrapped around leather and black cotton and pulled, pushed, and tore until Spike's alabaster chest was exposed. Spike retaliated by further rending her top until it fell away from her heated skin and they groaned as flesh met flesh, mouths kissing and hands caressing whatever skin was in reach. Spike and Buffy's hands met and fumbled at each other's pants, both realizing their dilemma at the same time. Spike groaned into her neck regrettedly. "You're not gonna change your mind if I let go of you, right?" "Me?" Buffy squeaked out as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. "I started this, remember?" "Right," he ground out, unceremoniously dropping her to the ground and attacking the fastenings of her jeans. Buffy's hands darted out to return the favor, and soon they were fighting each other to push denim over hips and down thighs. Finally, they managed, and Spike reached up from his kneeling position at Buffy's feet to pull her down to the ground with him. A brief struggle for the top position ensued, with Spike coming out the victor, not that Buffy really minded. Their impromptu wrestling match rolled them closer to where their exchange began, and Spike spied the familiar pink and red package that the Slayer must have dropped earlier. Grinning, he momentarily ducked out of Buffy's clinging embrace, eliciting a small pout, and reached for the forgotten undies. Settling himself back in the Slayer's arms and legs, he waved the box in front of her face. "Fancy giving them a try, pet?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows. Buffy couldn't help it. She dissolved into giggles, made worse by the put-out expression on Spike's face. "Why not?" he pouted. "I thought you said they were a waste of time," she laughed. "Welllll," he drawled, "maybe they'd be a waste *next* time." Buffy stilled under him with the implications of that statement. "Or the next time," he continued, his voice deeper and huskier than before. "Or the next..." he trailed off, locking his eyes with Buffy's as she absorbed his intentions. He smiled slightly, continuing lightly, "But this time, I think they could be fun." Buffy smiled shyly, giggling softly again, then nodded. Spike smirked, then sat up between the Slayer's spread thighs and was momentarily distracted by the sight of her glistening and pink beneath him. Buffy struggled not to cover herself, instead enjoying the rapt look on his face, watching as he visibly shook himself and returned to the task of taking out another pair of the edible undies. He ran his hands down her legs slowly, drawing them together as he went, clasping her ankles and drawing her feet to her chest, resting them there momentarily before he placed the candy treat at her toes and slowly slid them over her feet and up her calved and thighs. Buffy helpfully raised her hips as he slipped the undies into place, giggling again as she felt the cool and slightly sticky candy against her sex. Spike smiled genuinely at the sight of the Slayer all decked out and waiting to be devoured, in more ways than one. And, oh, was he going to. He prowled up her body to meet her lips with a fiery kiss, before retreating again to place hot, open-mouthed kisses against her neck and chest, stopping to suckle sweetly at each nipple, then continuing his journey south. Buffy writhed under his touch, head thrown back at each new sensation. God, *this* was what she'd been waiting for. All those reluctant fantasies couldn't hope to compare to the reality she was currently experiencing. And the very idea that it might, no, *would* happen again, that this wasn't a one-time thing, sent shivers of pleasure of a different kind up her spine. 'He wants it,' she thought blissfully. After all that time spent daydreaming in the belief that it was all for naught, to know that he'd been struggling with the same desires and frustration as she had, was a heady experience. Buffy couldn't contain her hum of pleasure. "Like that, luv?" Spike purred from his current position, where he'd been pressing wet kisses to her tight stomach and dipping his tongue into her bellybutton. Oh, yes, she did, and she chose to let him believe her response had been to his actions. There would be time later for discussions of the future. Right now, there was no time but the present. Such as, presently, Spike was slowly spreading her thighs and settling himself in between them, his lips and tongue travelling closer and closer to their destination. He kissed his way down and over the candy underwear, tongue darting out to occaisionally taste the sweet treat. Buffy squirmed at the pressure of his mouth against her pussy through the undies, able to feel his tongue moved against them as he pressed the candy against her clit and aching opening. Spike, for one, was absolutely certain he'd dusted and through some paperwork error had somehow ended up in heaven, because it had to be manna he was tasting. Buffy's juices were slowly penetrating the candy underwear, while his saliva was working its way through the other side, and the combined flavor of candy and Buffy-pussy was undoubtedly the best thing he'd ever tasted. The undies were slowly disintegrating from between Spike's hungry mouth and Buffy's equally hungry pussy, until finally a hole formed. Spike growled harshly at his first unobstructed taste of her, and he quickly bit through the candy until the entire crotch had been eaten away, leaving nothing between him and the treat he really wanted. Buffy cried out as his mouth sank into her, his tongue taking long swipes from her clit down to her weeping hole, sinking inside her to draw her moisture up to twirl over her clit again. "Oh my God," she whimpered as he thrust his tongue inside as far as it could go, one hand reaching around her thigh to press against her clit and rub it hard and fast until she was trembling beneath him. "OhmyGod, *please*..." "Tha's it, luv," he murmured, nibbling at her soaked folds before thoroughly licking her again. "Come for me, baby. Come right in my mouth. Gonna eat you up..." Her back arched sharply as a wave of pleasure crashed into her, pushing her hips up, begging for his mouth. Spike readily complied, licking two fingers before slipping them inside her, his lips wrapping around her clit as his tongue flicked it rapidly. The pleasure radiated warmly through her body, stilling her momentarily before she wailed and shook, her walls spasming against his fingers and her thighs squeezing his head and shoulders, unable to let go. Spike pried her legs off him as he nearly scrambled up her body, which was still shaking in orgasm. "Gotta get inside, baby. God, luv..." He reached one hand down to align himself with her dripping entrance, both shuddering as the velvety head of his cock slipped inside. He wrapped his arms around her back, kissing her deeply as he pushed further into her scalding depths. It was already a tight fit and she was beyond swollen, his girth stretching her in ways that had them both moaning their pleasure to the night sky. Spike paused, halfway in, making Buffy whimper and grab at his hips, attempting to pull him the rest of the way, but he just withdrew until the head was just inside her again. "Hang on, luv," he panted. "Just gotta..." he groaned as he sank inside once again, this time a little further than before. The manouever was repeated until he was finally able to fully seat himself in her depths, eliciting twin gasps of wondering pleasure when his hips were at last flush with hers. "Fuck..." "Oh my God," Buffy breathed, shaking. "Oh..." She curled her arms under his shoulders as he started to rock, thrusting minutely inside her. "Buffy," he whispered, burying his face in her neck and sucking at her heated skin. "Ye-hessss..." she hissed as he began thrusting harder, his cock entering her with long, smooth strokes, stars bursting behind her eyes as he struck something inside her she'd never felt before. Her silken walls clamped down around him, provoking a volatile growl from the vampires above her. "Oh, do it again, pet," he groaned, then again when she repeated the squeeze. "Fuck me..." "Thought--ooh...yes--that I was," Buffy panted, turning her head and nibbling on his neck as she squeezed him all over again. "Oh, bloody--unh...yeah--bloody hell, you are amazing." Spike kissed her again, his tongue mimicking his cock thrust for thrust, and the dual sensations drove Buffy wild beneath him. Spike wormed a hand in between their undulating bodies, thumb settling over he clit as his palm pressed into her belly just above the pubic bone, causing the bursting sensation inside Buffy to explode into full-blown fireworks. Her climax tore through her entire body, and she keened and wailed as wave after wave of mind-shattering pleasure ripped though her, clamping her muscled walls fiercely around Spike's cock as her thighs clamped around his hips. Spike cried out as he felt his dick get strangled by the Slayer's hot, silken cunny. It took nearly all of his considerable strength to break free from her thigh's satin imprisonment, pumping his cock inside her fluttering depths with all his might, his hips crashing against hers, griding her clit between them with every thrust. Buffy's waning climax rekindled to full blaze as Spike began plowing into her, her arms flying over her head to dig her fingers into the grass, her legs raising to cradle his ribcage as he tightened his arms around her back and fucked the hell right out of her. The waves of pleasure crested higher and higher until something so enormous built up inside of her that Buffy feared it could never escape without killing her. The unbearable tension just kept building, and tears of rapture coursed down her cheeks. Spike kissed them away, a steady growl vibrating through his chest, as he felt his balls draw up tight, a rush of blood hardening his already turgid cock. One last thrust, farther inside her than he ever thought possible, and he detonated, exploding inside her with strong pulses, roaring his pleasure into her skin. The sensation of Spike coming into her sent Buffy spiraling over the edge, the pressure finally releasing into screaming euphoria, and she sobbed her release to the sky. After several moments, the tilting universe righted itself once again, and Buffy and Spike returned to awareness. Spike rose on shaking arms, elbows digging into the grass and trembling hands cradling Buffy's face. His wide eyes met hers and Buffy could have wept at their beauty. He blinked slowly, eyes darting back and forth as he absorbed everything about her in that moment. "That was..." he whispered, trailing off and shaking his head slightly as words failed him. "Yeah..." she whispered back. She couldn't have raised her voice any higher if she tried. Spike drew in a deep and unneeded breath, sighing heavily as he rested his brow on hers. They were quiet for a moment, contentment still buzzing through their skin. Then, a gurgling sound escaped Buffy's throat, her body shaking beneath his. Quirking a brow, Spike drew back and confirmed his suspicions to find the Slayer giggling once again. "Somethin' funny, sweetling?" "Mhmm," she hummed, still laughing "An' what would that be?" "I'm now wearing an edible belt." Spike paused, staring at her, then looked down to find that indeed the remains of the undies had ridden up to her waist, and now clung to the skin of her stomach. He released a deep, throaty chuckle, making Buffy squirm as it did interesting things to their still intimately connected bodies. She whimpered as Spike rememdied that situation and slowly slid out of her, whimpering a bit on his own, and knelt above her tummy to bite through the remaining bit of candy. He helped her to sit up as the treat fell away from her skin, and they quietly helped each other dress, stealing caresses and kisses along the way. Sitting on the ground to tie his boots, Spike noticed the familiar package a few inches away, and he picked it up and tossed it to Buffy. She caught the red and pink box with a laugh. "Still three more pairs in here," she mused, grin firmly in place. Spike smirked and rose to his feet, standing before Buffy as he slid his hands over her hips and pulled her forward to press against his recovering cock. "Yeah? Anything you have in mind, luv?" he purred. Buffy giggled. "Not really. I think they're called novelty items for a reason." "I dunno, Slayer. Could be fun. I could see how long it would take me to lick every...last...inch of those things off your body." His husky statement made Buffy's eyes glaze and lips part. "I could bite a hole in 'em and see if I could fuck you through them." Buffy panted lightly. "Or...I could wear 'em for you." The image of Spike wearing tiny red candy underwear, his cock never in a million years fitting inside, was both intensely arousing and highly amusing, and Buffy found herself with a couple of warring reactions. The sight of Spike's wobbling lips as he tried to hold back his laughter was her undoing. She burst out laughing, and they collapsed against each other in helpless giggles. Buffy drew back, addressing a still laughing Spike. "Throw 'em away?" she asked. "Oh, yeah," he nodded, laughing. "Definitely." The End Author's Note: That's all there is to it, folks. About as deep as a parking lot puddle, this one. *g* Hope everyone enjoyed it, and I hope you liked your prezzie, Holly! *lubs*