Wonderful story - like how you worked with all the characters and connected your original character to the Glory arc.  I particularly liked the Spike/William dreamscapes.

 

OH is it over, its seems like a strange place to leave it.

wow...just...wow *absoulutly shocked* i knew this story'd be good when i read the summerary but at the end (iam asuming it's the end) its really really good hence the 'absoulutly shocked' it was pretty cool .... *claps* well done!!!

that was terribly sad....very poor judgment on buffy's part...looking forward to your next installment, love :)

sweet ending

Love the story. Read it in one sitting. Decided to keep it on hard drive for future enjoyment. Hope you don't mind. Looking forward to sequel. Again well done:)

I started reading this yesterday. Great fic! I enjoyed every word.

This is the first of your stories that I have read. You have wonderfully emotional style. Your descriptions are very evocative. I really enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your writings.

very good read. i believe spike. thanks for the fun read.

Yay. Wonderful. And I can't wait for a sequel.

Here I am doing the song of SEQUEL!! This was amazing, first to last chapter. Thank you so much for bringing it to us!!

Hey! Just read this story in its entirety and I have to say that I really enjoyed it. I love the use of the subconscious to show Spike and Buffy how the other really is/feels. Very clever. And I liked this last chapter, too, because instead of just immediately falling in love with him, but there's a chance that she might. Very nice. I'll be looking out for that sequel, as well! :)

I completely enjoyed this in all its surrealism, though a bigger crumb would have been nice. Many thanks.

I loved that she was truthful with him and that she gave him a clean slate. She is right, for her it is too soon for her to love him, but her actions showed that she does care, and by giving him a clean slate and a chance to fight along side her she is giving him hope. I loved how as she was leaving after telling him that she doesn’t love him, he promised her that she will and she didn’t deny it or fight it. By going into his mind and allowing him into hers she really got to know him, and instead of denying to herself what she learned, she followed the best example she could, her mothers, and gave him a second chance. I really loved this fic and am glad that you decided to post here. I will be looking forward to the sequel.

damn good chappie :P

OH She cares for him but she is right she can't lead him on.

You are *bloddy* brillent! Why, oh why have I not read any of your fics before?!
I'll be checking you out on FF.net soon, promise. =)

that was incredibly dramatic, very well done...love it :)

nice start to the ending

She really is very good at denial, she knows that he makes her she feel safe, she knows that she wants to stay with him and not for the safety reason, she just can't put it together that that usually means that when you feel that way about someone it usually means you care for that person. I really enjoyed the fight scene and how you had it all work together.

OH please don't let anything happen to her.

okay, whoa...where did buffy come from? *sigh* hope she doesn't mess things up :(

ohhhh what happens next... runs to next chappie

excelant ending ! I'll keep an eye out for a squal.

Eeee, more, please!! Love the last two, but I gotta know what's gonna happen to Spike!! Great update!!

Buffy is a stubborn one, but boy does she care for Spike. I have to wonder what's all going on with her with her feeling compelled to go to the mansion. The real question is: is she going to help, or hinder, the action inside. Thanks for the great update, I am looking forward to the remainder of the story.

Totaly agree with Giles, Oh dear!

Mmmm Mmmm good, more please.

LOL, another bloody cliffie :P

Great story, so far.  Can't wait to see how the rest turns out. And *LOL* @ "Has Giles ever let himself get hit over the head?" I'm really enjoying the Willow Xander interaction in this fic!

 

Oh I hope they can get it back. Well we know the good guys always win.

Oh I hope they can get it back. Well we know the good guys always win.

oh i hope they can stop him in time....and beat glory...go spike go!!! :)

excellant chapter i loved the memory loss

It is interesting how Buffy, without her slayer memories, likes and cares for Spike without prejudice. And out of all her friends he is the one she didn't want leaving her the most. As for Xander, his blaming Spike when it was Spike trying to get Buffy to wake up and is being held by someone else shows how willing he is to place blame without facts. I like how well you showed how different Buffy is now, not by her memories as much as her absolute disbelief in demons and her commenting on the heaviness of the crossbow.

OH I hope Spike can get that dagger.

no!! oh my gosh, how awful!! how are they going to fix this?

ohhhh very intriguing wonder wgat is going to happen

Buffy pain and anger at Spike having dealt with Sykes, even knowing that it was long ago and had nothing to do with what was currently going on, shows how much she has change is regard to her feelings for him. That being said, when is the next update? You left us with one evil cliff-hanger. :)

NO! Cliffhangers are bad!

God...I love when you update with two chapters though!

I really liked where you took this. I honestly had no idea who the hell the bad guy was so it was finally interesting to see him.

Also loved the sex in the last chapter...inexpected and hawt, lol.

Update soon!

No!!!! Give it back! Do something Spike quick!

MORE PLEASE. :D

OH Shit?????? Bloody hell yuou evil bint get back here!! Gaaaaaaaaaaa and they call me evil that is a bloody evil cliffie from helllll. Grrrrrrrrr

Oh know where are Willow and The gang/

it's so painful, poor spike, having to feel so rejected by her...worried now about the others, hope they're okay :(

wonder what is goin on .....

I really liked this chapter and how much she has changed from not only when they were in his mind, but from when they first went into her mind. She is softening and has admitted to herself that at least on some level she wants him, all of him, and she has the marks to show for it. Although she has started moving forward with how she feels about him, it is still two steps forward and one step back, but things are changing and even if she wants to deny it they can never change back.

fascinating chapter. thank you for the fine read.

fascinating chapter. thank you for the fine read.

fascinating chapter. thank you for the fine read.

very interesting chappie :P

The ending of this chapter really makes the point with your chapter title :)

oh I hope Spike comes back soon, they need to figure this out.

oh how painful for poor spike...buffy's mind makes me mad :(

i liked the angel bits - very nice

Buffy is the master of denial, trying to convince herself that Spike put a memory in her brain. And Spike, his questions are very valid, "when do I matter? What do I do to matter?" He has done enough for her that he should matter, even if it is only as a friend.

Oh My God can we just put a bullet in Buffy's head already??

Poor Spike - will she ever give him a break?

Oh wow, this is great!! Man, Buffy's got some seriously chaotic thoughts. Nice move in adding Angel and Riley into the mix....very Buffy-esque. Can't wait for more!

No! Going from mmmmmm Spike snuggles, to... Riley?
From a dream to a nightmare in 2 sec flat.
I oh so hope somthing horrid happens to Riley. Couse, Well couse its Riley. Ewww!

More soon please. Spike needs some loven.

excellent update,although you came close to negating with the "riley." thanks for the dine read.

excellent update,although you came close to negating with the "riley." thanks for the dine read.

woah. Riley? Ick.
And just as we were getting to the good stuff, too. ::laugh::

Ok hers are alittle confusing.

oh come on, buffy...you cant do this to him...poor spike...but i think it'd do a lot to help her if he could face up to his past...

lovely chapter

She said to him “How could I ever trust you? You’ve no conscience. There’s no remorse. No need for it.” If he felt no remorse he could look much easier, by not looking and just by creating this monument, even if he doesn’t realize it, there is some remorse. On the flip side she also said “no need for it.” On this there is truth. Spike’s killings were usually more about the hunt then the torture. Humans were his food and him killing them for that is no different then a human hunting for food. In Buffy’s acknowledgement that Spike had already started to change, but that she didn’t believe he wouldn’t change back at any moment, she is forgetting a truth, once a person has changed they can never change back. They might change again to resemble what they were before, but there are always differences and new layers. In addition she should be supporting him and encouraging him with his change. Not just as someone who has found him a helpful ally, but because of who she is, the Chosen One, the Slayer.
I loved the use of Monet as a place of peace for her; he is one of my favorite artists. I really enjoyed the imagery of this chapter.

ok, now I know why Buffy is looney, she just is no real reasons :P

one of the buffys in her mind should take control, because it is chaos. very good read, thanks

Wow, that was fantastic!! You did a great job in writing and describing Buffy's often chaotic thoughts. It's nice to see what's going on in her head. Can't wait to see what she decides before Spike's completely gone.

Good chapter.Poor insecure Spike.
Update soon.

Wow...just realized I had an account, lol. But of course...cant remember anything about it!

Also wanted to apoligize for the horrible spelling in the first review and tell you that I also learned you have a ff.net acount so I will hop on over there so I cant get email updates!

God...you must (or have, sorry dont know your age!) kick ass in Lit class. Metaphors, writing, you got it all down. Loved it so SO much! Especially that last part...could she grant him any sort of understanding? Because she has to understand him somewhat to actually know him enough to fall in love with him. She is not like Spike who can read her easily but can still fall in love with her without really knowing her.

Really...words cannot express my love for this story. Do you post at fanfiction.net? Because I would love to add you as one of my favorite stories.

More magical dreamscapes and the little advances and setbacks. Yum.

 

oh I wonder what happened to him.

wow...careful, buffy...you could do some major damage in there..

Ha serves her right - when will she ever learn that Spike is the one for her - shakes her head!

oh crap..

Oh crap is right! What'd you do to Spike! Bring im back! Please!

Oooh, great story!!! I like the way you've written their memories and their reactions to those memories. Can't wait for more!

It’s interesting the huge difference between the different minds. When they were in Spike’s mind he did everything he could to keep her safe, and he had no problem welcoming her in. In her mind she has already tried to kill him and block him out, and now she just sent him away. It’s almost like a physical manifestation of how well they know themselves. Spike is completely honest with himself and open to how he is feeling. Buffy hides from herself and, lies to herself, and runs away from any emotion that scares her or she doesn’t want to feel. I really liked how Spike grabbed her and ran when she wanted to continue fighting. His first concern was her safety, and although she is stronger in her mind, she refused to see that even together there wasn’t much impact on No Face. Thanks for the two updates, I really enjoyed them. :)

very good read. buffy should have stayed in spike's mind; it was not as messed up. thanks for the fine read.

Gotta love this surreal dream world. Fabulous.

LMAO, even in her own head she is more than a bit dense :P

fantastic update

Good chapters.Update soon.I just got Season 1 of Angel on DVD yesterday,and it was the first time I saw "City of".Also the first time I saw the episode where Angel is tortured for the Gem.I loved Mocking!Spike at the beginning.

Perfect chapter........I laughed...oh crap????

Two updates! Yay!
I love this story. Please, feel free to post multiple updates as often as you want. ::grin::

I sure hope that you give Buffy some harsh truths about how narrow minded and how cruel she can be at times.  She is pretty hard for me to like thus far in your story - she acts like such a self-righteous and self-centered brat.  But Spike's reminder of just how really young she is works as a good reminder for me that Buffy has been, IMO, extremely damaged by both her first love experiences with Angel/Angelus and the dogmatic teachings of Giles and the CoW.

Oh I can't wait to see what they will find in her mind.

wow...that's so sad that she said those hurtful things, poor spike :( i wonder what she'll learn on this leg of the journey :)

Can I strangle Buffy - she is so stubborn!

I love the fact that when I come here to check for updates I always find a new chapter and sometimes more than one! Updates make my day, lol!

Loved the walls she has in her head! How perfect is that? I also loved the interaction between younger Buffy and Spike, sweet and touching.


Cant wait for more!

Buffy has a natural ability for cruelty, she controls it for the most part except when it comes to Spike. It's like she knows exactly what actions or words will hurt him the most and that is exactly what she does. I'm not sure she even realizes how horrible she is at times, and might even be shocked if she had to watch herself. Spike on the other hand has the natural ability for forgiveness. When he cares for someone he will forgive them about anything. Like what happened when she said his feeling didn’t matter, she can no longer deny that he has feelings, so she now discredits her regard for them. And Spike didn’t do anything more then point out that things are never that simple. If he was really vindictive all he had to do is say that he had had enough and wouldn’t participate anymore. That it was Buffy’s job, not his to save the life being threatened. After all as far as everyone else there he is just an evil vampire who doesn’t care for anyone but himself. Your scene when Spike went to talk to Buffy and she felt some of his pain was very interesting. I am looking forward to finding out if it was one time, or if it is a result of them going into each other’s mind and the magic involved. I loved how her last thought was her telling herself that she had nothing to hind.

good read, thanks. i think buffy is going to be shocked at the amount of things she is hiding.

Excellent chappie :p

 

OH I wonder what all they are going to say

well that was intense...i wonder what's in store for them in buffy's mind...

lovely and intruiging chapter - I enjoyed it immensely

sorry I haven't reviewed again. I caught up at FF.net and am waiting for new chapters

How like Buffy, she sees the truth of Spike, she feels the truth of Spike, but she continues to try to deny the truth, to try to pretend that everything she has discovered about how he feels is ‘manufactured’. She is so comfortable in her belief that someone can’t love without a soul, so comfortable with her pain over Angelus’s inability to love, and later Angel leaving, for her own good, that she is unwilling to allow anything but the hurt part of her to have a say in how things are perceived. And yet each time she sees new proof that her beliefs are not accurate, even though she tries to ruthlessly push away the new, cracks are forming, most not quite visible, that are weakening the foundation of her self-imposed prison. That is something I really love about this story, as much as she might try to deny things, they are traveling through Spike’s mind and she knows that there is truth behind the emotions of the memories, and even the fantasies. A truth that in the real world she has been able to more easily deny, to just declare them as not real and that any actions he takes because of these emotions are for selfish purposes only.

I hope you don’t mind to much me analyzing like this. I have a tenancy to do so, in particular with a fic like yours that you can really see the change within the characters, or in this case, more accurately character. :P

that was a fun romp in spike's mind. should be even more fun in buffy's. good update, thanks for the fun read.

Lovely trip through Spike's head. I can't wait to see what he learns in Buffy's.

Justed wanted to comment on how awsome your story is! I really like how non-fluffy it is. There were so many different ways you could have taken this, like Buffy seeing all his memories and falling in love with him that way, but I LOVE how she sees were he buries the people he kills, how you dont sugar-coat him, and how confusing the memories and traveling around in them are. Its absolutly fasicenating to read! Keep up the good work!

Wonderful story as far. I shall await the next update.

Good chapter.It's okay to laugh.I would have reviewed earlier except the power went out for three hours.Update soon.

Delighted to see you posting here - I hope you bring more of your tales. Loving this one - surreal nightmares and all. A great way for Buffy to come to know Spike.

update update !!

LOL, poor Buffy having the scales forcebly pyulled off her eyes boy is the girl an idiot :P

Wonderful chapter and very successful, since I am anxiously anticipating the next one. I love the dialog and how the transitions meld with the action - very imaginative! The sequence right before they leave Spike's head really communicates how his feelings eveolved, and I really like how you have Buffy merge into each participant.

so the memory they share, is that got something to do with the whole cecily, buffy - beneath you deal? hmm *ponders*

"well, then, start declaring your undying love for him!" ;-) lolz...
Loved the update!

More please!!!!

Loving your grasp of the Victorian language!  Also your use of the term "denial-cell".

 

OH no they were separated it, that can't be good.

okay, yeah, her subconscious *is* doing all the work...before this is over she'll have to finish that sentence and admit what she wants...great chapter :)

very nice interactions - enjoying the changing scenes

wow, grate story hope for an update soon.

Good chapter.I love that scene in "Fool For Love".(That was the episode right?)It's after my other favorite scene where Spike's crying cause Buffy said he was beneath her.(I hated her saying that,but I liked Crying!Spike.For some weird reason,I like seeing guys cry on TV,but it freaks me out in real life.)Update soon.

ooh I really like this story! it keeps you on the edge of your seat trying to figure out what's going to happen! keep it up! :-D

Well, I must say you have my curiosity up on the identity of No Face. And I like seeing the chinks in the Buffy Wall of Denial.

*gasp* great chapter!!!

very good chapter. buffy is not as hard or certain, can't wait to get into her mind. and thanks for the evil cliffhanger. (did that last sound sincere?) thanks for the fine read.

very good chapter. buffy is not as hard or certain, can't wait to get into her mind. and thanks for the evil cliffhanger. (did that last sound sincere?) thanks for the fine read.

LOL, member of cliffies R'Us huh?? Damn good chappie.

I really like the growth in character that Buffy seems to be having. It is very slow, but it is there. She seems to be less aggressive towards Spike and more willing to work with him. Buffy really liked William and it seems that as she sees William still in Spike she has to force herself to deny it, the denial is no longer as natural to her, but more forced. I am really enjoying this story thanks for the update. :)

more of this great story. So glad to see this chapter.

oh that was good.

So much going on inside his past. Always the lover, never the beloved our William. I can only wonder where they go to next. Great chapter.

whoa....trying to figure this out as i go is giving me a bit of a headache...but it's fascinating, and i can't stop reading :) excellent chapter, pet :)

what a wonderful sweet chapter. I really enjoyed the William bits and the interaction/ Lovely!

I could hsve sworn I reviewed this morning.I love the pairing of William and Sarah.I unfortunately know a little bit about Shakespeare as we're reading Julius Caseser.(We did Romeo & Juliet last year,and I hated it.)Luckily,the New English version is on the other side of the Old English.I get lost reading the Old English.Update soon.

You're taking us on one hell of a trip, that's for sure. *checks annie's brownie recipe* An amazing tale and recreation of Spike's past and I can't wait to read more!

GREAT update

encellent read. thanks for the update.

What a great story this is so far. But I got a bit confused at the end. Who might the demon be?. Love the interaction between William and Buffy and the fact that she´s extra nice to him just to annoy Spike, he,he. (That´s the beginning of love if you ask me...) I hope she get´s to see when William is bitten and the reasons... Please update soon.

I am enjoying this story so very much. The dreamlike memories mixed with actual literal ones is quite believable. I am enjoying the reservations Spike and Buffy feel about each other and allowing the other to see within themselves. This should be quite the learning experience.

Please keep this coming, it is excellent.

Kathleen

Hmmm. Did they find the right demon? Has Buffy found and acknowledged her demon(s) yet? More story please.

Wonderful chapter. I love the interactions between William and Buffy. And I can't wait to see what emerges from the combination.

Poor Spike.I like that Buffy wanted to cry.Update soon.

aww.. nice image of sarah and william.. it was cute :)

excellent chappie :P

Slowly some of Buffy’s preconceived ideas about Spike are being changed. I like that she admitted to herself that what he was before was completely different that what she thought, perhaps this is the first step in seeing that some of her other thoughts might be off as well. Following her change in attitude from the beginning of this chapter to the end is interesting. She is known for her impatience and she shows it clearly at the beginning when they meet a young William, by the end she is willing to sit down and learn more about William and it is Spike who pulls her away, not wanting her to make more judgments.

Great dreamscape character exploration - excellent study of Buffy's very closed minded perspectives of life and her Slayer "truths."  Also, very good study of Spike's history and his current life.  

Excellent fighting scenes!  Buffy is hard as a rock inside and out and she doesn't even realize it.  Maybe this is the rock to be cracked?

 

oh that was good, some how I think they need to work on the tention to find the answer.

What she would find... so much to explain the man before her now. She will learn but will she pay attention. And a lovely battle sequence indeed!

this is such a deep, thought-provoking read...love the way this is playing out, the things they're learning from each other...great chapter ;)

still very intriguing... i am enjoying this story

Love the chemistry between them. Her not wanting to know and him not wanting to tell. And holding her up against that wall... so very, very powerful. Marvelous chapter.

Powerful chapter. His understanding of her nature and her unwillingness to accept that part of herself or to see and accept his full nature is powerfully exposed in their verbal and physical sparring.

this is going to be a very long fic, before any common sense,or insight can penetrate buufy's thick skull. which is just great with me. love the magic, thanks for the read.

Oh, this should be a fun ride!
I just found this story and I can't wait to see more.

Great chapter!  Lot of tangible tension between those two!  And the imagery you created with the desert turned graveyard was awesome! &nbsoLoving this story.  Hope you update soon!

It's interesting how she always thinks that she will beat him, and yet their fights on average have always been a draw. Buffy is as stubborn as ever, instead of recognizing that Spike might be different than what she thinks, she just puts it to him acting out of character. I am really looking forward to her journey through their minds.

great chapter

loving this story

Another fantastic update!! *sighs dreamily* I so love this fic.

Hmmm. Either of them figuring out anything useful?

Hi, Annie!

Good story. I enjoyed reading it, as I think you caught on to, LOL.

Wishing you many happy reviews.

Amazing chapter! Buffy's understanding of the universe is being torn apart, bit by bit. Excellent fight sequences. I liked the way you went from the physical fight to the verbal sparring and then back to the physical - a seamless conversation in different modes. Interesting that Buffy is unable to see the larger implication of Spike's glass desert of his victims. I somehow doubt that Angel would even be able to construct such a monument in memory of his victims. Great story!

Good chapter.Stupid Buffy and Spike.Update soon.

excellent chappie

Yep that is a good question what now.

Perhaps what they both need to realize is that though they both may be right, they are both also wrong. Nothing is quite cut and dry. I must wonder how much they will learn from this little adventure.

this is very intense...poor spike...i feel so bad for him, she just doesn't understand him at all...but i have a feeling she soon will...

very nice chapter - I can't wait to see what happens next in this lovely story.

Interesting places they keep going. Wonder what big bad they're looking for. Lovely chapter, btw.

That would be frustrating, bouncing back and forth into one another's minds.  Funny, that Spike got himself busted for snooping.  :)

great chapter. I have forgotten how well you write :D

fine update. if buffy doesn't start seeeing shades between black and white soon, it will take forever to find what they need. i won't mind the wait. thanks for the fine read.

It was a good guess about her and her pointy slayer boots. She's so callow. Hope there is something in Spike's memories to wise her up before she breaks more of his heart.

Spike had it right, Buffy is very young. Adding her age with her calling and it's no wonder that she has never learned that the world is not black and white, but filled with all shades of grey. This is a really great chapter and I am looking forward to the next update.

amazing! more please?

Damn they are both hard headed :P But Buffy is a bit stoopid :D

That was a trip! Looking forward to the next chapter. This story is really amazing, can't wait to see where you take it!

I love the way you shape the vignettes and the transitions. Excellent imagery - I can really picture the scenes. Thanks so much!

hmm.. getting intriging..

Poor Spike.I hope she realizes how much she's hurting him.Good story.Update soon.

Great Start - you have an outstanding sense of how the characters would be acting this out in the series - Well Done!  I wish you had more than your three completed stories; I very much like your writing style. 

Oh boy!  Buffy's in for a surprise in Spike's brain!

Hi kittykat - this came up on random rotation.  Loved Buffy's rise and shine for Spike. 

Oh I wonder who it is I can only think of Dru or Angelus.

An interesting puzzle. I look forward to the hunt for the answers.

wow that was an incredible opening chapter, as others have said i love your dialogue, so very well done...and i feel for spike already, he has to hate knowing that she's gonna be able to read his mind...but he has no choice...*sigh* ...this should be good :)

oh very intriguing first chapter. I am very interested in seeing where you go with this!

What an interesting way to find out someone is completely in love with you. Love it!

Ooh, I wonder which brain is going to get picked first!  Intriguing concept.  I'm really enjoying this, so far!

great start

This sounds very intriguing. I am really looking forward to this fic.

Hello Miss Annie,

I've already read this on ff.net, but I think that maybe there might be more to the story. Than what was posted there.

Although, it's a really great story, as always. Maybe more smut can be involved on here. HINT, HINT.

oh my god, this is incredible! I love, love LOVE your dialogue! For some reason, this line made me laugh She liked his door, though. It was so easy to kick in. I am sooooo glad you are posting here now!!!

Ohhhh, a very intriguing start. More soon pls.

Annie - Delighted to see you here! I've been following this on ff.net, but haven't had the chance to comment. Great story, as always. I hope you like it here and will transfer your other stories.

I certainly hope Buffy doesn't stomp through Spike's memories with her fashionable but pointy slaying boots. More story please.

very good start, should be highly entertaining when they "see" each others'thoughts. thanks for the interesting read.

Interesting start.

excellent start :P