i love these interesting looks at buffy's hindsight view of the events of her past...great chapter, love ;)

fun read, thank you. love buffy's thanking god in the last line.

awww, that was pretty sweet, love...i very much enjoyed it...glad buffy's starting to see things now that she ignored before, in hindsight things are usually much clearer

good to be able to look back and admitted you were wrong.(except for the very few of us who were never every wrong over the decades.) very good read, thank you.

Hindsight's a wonderful thing.

You went pretty much canon on this. The last sentence showed that she's accepted her responsibility for how their relationship went and how she'd blamed him when it was her fault that allowed for something amazing to get away. Great work, thanks.

really enjoying buffy's reactions to her past self. thanks for the fine read.

Love to hear her thoughts about Spike, as she remembers how he started to work his way into her life and eventually her heart. Have to give props to Joss, he created, in my opinion, one of the best characters on TV. Thanks for the update, W116. Waiting for her to get into the really good stuff, like S5. Great job.

awww, so very sad :( i like this nostalgic little look through buffy's memories...very very nice idea, and i'm thoroughly enjoying it :)

If nothing else she learned quickly about Spike was that he was true to his word. When he said he was going to kill her, he tried, when he promised to help, he did, when he said that he loved her, it was with all of his heart. That was her Spike. Nicely done. Glad that Xander finally saw spike for what he was in the end to them all: A friend.

Good job with the choice of songs. They are spookily apt.

It's interesting to see Buffy view herself as she was.

She and Xander had gone back the next day, found the body, and buried it. - I don't think this can be true. Ford had a tombstone and his grave was in the cemetary. Don't think Buffy would plunk out a lot of money for a tombstone. Actually, it was a problem in the original script - why wouldn't Ford's family have claimed the body and brought it back to Los Angeles?

I always thought it was Drusilla who turned Ford. You don't see Spike bite him and I think the only male that Spike bites is Andrew in S7. Also, Spike hates Ford and thinks he's a moron. You can go either way.

I like what you're doing with Buffy reading the diary, then current Buffy thinking about what happened. It works a lot more smoothly that I would have anticipated. Structures like that can easily be phony or tricky. You've made it work nicely.

yeah, i always loved that scene, although it was *way* pre-spuffy, because it showed spike's capacity to love...excellent chapter, looking forward to more :)

loved buffy's reaction to her diary entry. very good read, thank you.

It was fun to read giddy young Buffy. And kudos for the Megadeth lyrics!

He was something their first meeting. To bad that she didn't get to watch him like he did her that night. Thanks for the update, hope you can find another song soon.

Good chapter. You've picked a toughie if you're going to try to find songs for each chapter.

lol...i like buffy's diary entry, very funny and kinda sweet, looking back...enjoyed this chapter ;)

very intriguing beginning, thank you

Buffy seems to have coped.

can't wait to see what she wrote...
did the end of ATS happen as in canon?

Not into country but I love this song by Garth Brooks. It's a perfect choice for this story, just perfect. Can hardly wait for him to see her again and for Angel to know just who it is that she loves. Really looking forward to this fic, thanks.

i like the start but plz dont do one sided fic where its written like spike has absolutely no reason not to go rushing to buffy, and in this case while she's on a date, ignoring that said date is a far cry away from the 'normal' life that shes been bitching about. there's way to many of those and they ignore alot of what happened between spike and buffy. i mean really after a the crap *both* of them did to each other and how buffy treated spikes feelings towards her and always avoiding them in the last season, is it really that suprising that spike didnt believe it when buffy told a dying man exactly what he'd been desperately wanting to hear for years, especially after she blew him off about 'the best night of his life' shortly before he goes to help her only to find her snogging angel.

plus, even if he wanted to believe it bad enough to go right to her to try to start up another relationship, i cant really fault the guy for being squeemish considering how screwed up their last relationship was and how well that ended. especially considering that she admits that 'She'd lashed out, gotten angry, as was always her reaction when something involved Spike.' yes spike is such a nogood bastard for avoiding jumping back into a pattern that led him to nearly rape the woman he loved.

oooh, now i'm very interested to see what's in those diaries...excellent writing, love :)