You've really got with this one. Don't know how I missed 2 chapters. Well I will be rectifying that right now. Did the government clone him after all? This is one really great mystery, thanks, can't wait to read more.

Oh, man, that was a heart-breaking scene. Felt really sorry for Spike - whether or not he's "really" Spike. He doesn't remember anything about the almost rape. It hurt to see him so confused and losing what little hope he had managed to dredge up. It sort of semed a little out of character for Buffy to taunt him in that way. Yes, she's angry about the attempted rape, and I know that she's taken out her frustrations and pain on Spike in the past. But I just can't see her being THAT cruel to him in this situation. Unless that wasn't really Buffy. Hurry and update because I can't get emough of this thought-provoking, sometimes cryptic fic.

great story, can't wait for more. i guess buffy is still fighting ghosts, but sure wish she was saying all that to the right spike.

BTW..."people", "person"....MAJOR Buffy attitude change from "thing".....just saying *G*.

Kathleen

very good read, thank you.

God that was harsh - the poor guy can't even touch himself without getting a serious mauling.

Okay....I'm hoping that Buffy isn't such a bitch that she's blaming THIS Spike for what hers did (and even then.......). If this the First? He didn't sense Buffy, it seems like the kind of mind fu@k the First was so good at doing. This is really powerfully written. I feel sooooooo bad for this Spike and am rapidly loosing respect for this Buffy if she is going to take out her hostility on this vampire. She should have some sympathy considering all he's been through (and that includes her attitude that morning with her thoughtless remarks that implied she wished he didn't exist). Look forward to more.

Kathleen

This is so sad.

My heart just broke with those last 3 sentences. Still think that this is her Spike, under a spell to change his memories. Dru or Angel are quite capable of doing something like that to him. Leaving him broken, helpless and alone. Either way, this is a broken Spike. Hopefully they can learn to heal together. Thanks for the emotional chapter.

This chapter packed a huge emotional impact. I loved his reaction to being told he could have a shower and his thoughts about trust then it’s like a kick to the stomach when what he thinks is Buffy (and I really hope it’s the First) shows up. I felt like crying for Spike when he took his slave kit out of the garbage, and then with the symbolism of the cigarettes staying on the counter. Thank you so much for the update, I really look forward to them.

Damn the First!!!!! And it's lying, too, because Spike didn't even come close to raping her before she threw him backwards.

Realize she's not a morning person, but Buffy didn't have to be such a bitch, especially since he's so skittish there's not a damn thing he would do wrong here.

Okay I know that Spike's attempted rape of Buffy was horrendous and wrong, however, how does she get to be so self righeous whe her actions toward Spike were also criminal. Remember beating him almost to death and leaving him in the alley to die. I really hope she gets over her attitude soon. Also, why is her memory so short first she does not think this is her Spike and now she is reacting as if he is. Please update soon.
Good chapter.

More weirdness. Is Spike hallucinating, or are the dimensions slipping? Or is it something else entirely?

okay, i just reread some other reviews, and can't believe it didn't dawn on me that it was the First...it *was* the first, wasn't it? makes sense...just like in the show, you could *almost* believe everything they said could really be coming from the person it was imitating...with just a little something off...and that's how you pulled this chapter off...i'm really hoping buffy wasn't that cruel to him..except...how in the world is she gonna figure out whats happening and help him? poor spike...*sigh*

awwwww poor spike. Bless his heart. So the First is here right about on schedule? very clever. Nicely done. It's a fantastic plot device here. Spike is already dealing with so many trust issues...to have the first messing with his head here...well, you just ROCK. This is fabulous. Wonderful twist! :)

okay...trying to catch my breath here....my eyes are full of tears, how very heart-breaking...poor, poor spike...but poor buffy, too...you made her pain so clear, that i can hardly even be mad at her...yet poor spike, losing that fragile sense of safety and trust that he was just gaining...when he took that chest out of the trash again my heart physically ached for him....how in the world are they gonna get past this?
also...i'm very curious to know how dawn's going to react to all of this...and whether or not he is really not her spike...very excellent, heart-rending, beautifully done chapter...lifted me up with spike's hope, and without warning cast me down again with the ending of the chapter -- and all expertly done :) cannot *wait* for your next update, love :)

okay...trying to catch my breath here....my eyes are full of tears, how very heart-breaking...poor, poor spike...but poor buffy, too...you made her pain so clear, that i can hardly even be mad at her...yet poor spike, losing that fragile sense of safety and trust that he was just gaining...when he took that chest out of the trash again my heart physically ached for him....how in the world are they gonna get past this?
also...i'm very curious to know how dawn's going to react to all of this...and whether or not he is really not her spike...very excellent, heart-rending, beautifully done chapter...lifted me up with spike's hope, and without warning cast me down again with the ending of the chapter -- and all expertly done :) cannot *wait* for your next update, love :)

God she is just a total bitch! Being malicious and vague enough to make him think that he actually raped her rather then attempted it. Not that attempting it was good, (and not like her part in their "relationship" was oh so perfect) but you know what I mean. Big, HUGE, difference. Not only that, she's already come to the conclusion that he isn't her Spike, and she's still tormenting him for things he hasn't done. And he's obviusly got a host of issues what with the sexual slavery and rape he's had to endure, and she's playing on it! Is she going to become even remotely likable in the future? Because right now I just want to slap her silly. Poor Spike.