Forward to Time Past by Unbridled_Brunette
Chapter: Chapter Sixty

Barn
04/08/2009 02:03 pm
 i think this is very good
ive been reading along on fan fiction and then crossed to here.

Spike is portrayed beautifully and is very loving towards Buffy and Dawn which i love

Buffy is a bit more understanding, which is a little odd for me as most of the ones ive read she still hates him until the last couple of chapters...

The scoobies seem like the friends from hell..
except for Anya and occasionally Xander

but thats why i love the story so much
its different and new

I love it!
Keep up the good work! 

10/23/2008 05:35 am
Oh my gosh. I fell in love with this story so long ago, it was addictive, and when I thought I wasn't going to get to read it anymore I was devastated. I'm so glad I have found it once again. Your writing brings tears to my eyes every time. Your characters are so true, so real. I love every word, and can't wait to begin reading it again!

Fyrefly
09/12/2008 12:53 am
Followed the link to get here...
*contented sigh*
Your writing is like a drug.
What a nice thing to say. Thank you! :)

06/02/2008 11:42 pm
How anyone could ever doubt that a being so self-sacrificing, so giving, and so willing to let himself be hurt for the ones he loves, how anyone could doubt that being's ability to love; it boggles the mind, it truly does.  And Giles, gah!!!  So eager to find out source of the money, so eager to cause problems, but not offering any solutions of his own, aside from bribing Buffy.  ARGH!  I'm angry now; off to read the next chapter. 
Thanks for the review! I'm sorry I'm so late in responding to it. :D

05/19/2008 07:25 pm
it is difficult to decide which is more frustrating, spike being dense or giles being giles. very good chapter, thank you.
lol. I love the "Giles being Giles" remark. For me, as the writer, Spike's being dense is the most frustrating. If he wasn't already aware that he was in freefall, then Dawn's warnings made it perfectly clear. Regardless of his intentions, his actions are becoming more and more destructive and his sense of wrong and right more convoluted. He needs help, and right now the only one who can give it to him -- the only one he will listen to -- has her head buried in the sand.

Bad choices all around, it seems. Thanks for the review. :)

05/18/2008 05:20 pm
Oh no! Damn Giles and his nosiness. This is not going to end well. :-( Great update though. Poor Spike's working himself to death for her.
I'm sorry I'm so late in answering your review, but I hope you know that I really do appreciate your taking the time to leave it. :)

Poor Spike has become so consumed with Buffy that not only is he not thinking clearly, but he's willfully putting himself at risk to take care of her. Dawn is trying to be his voice of reason, but he's too stubborn to listen to her. In other words ... he's being Spike. :P

05/18/2008 02:17 pm
Spike is almost terrifying in his obsession. Not eating or sleeping so as to be with her? Not good and not conducive to not getting hurt or caught.
And I'm so pissed off at Giles. He just had to look deeply into taking away everything that makes Buffy happy. Spike, the money that has taken her out of Council control, and the ability of financially supporting and keeping her sister close to her. Bullying an adolescent girl for answers? It's sneaky, it's petty, and it's so controlling it verges on the worst aspects of the Council--taking Potentials away from everyone and everything they know so as to better indoctrinate them into the training. And I'm sure it's all "for her own good." If I'm reading the signs right, Riley is due to make an appearance very soon. I predict an explosion--I don't know who or how, but things are probably going to get very ugly soon--Dawn is very right on that point.

There is a fine line between love and obsession, and you're completely right in saying that Spike has teetered over it. I think this is past romance on his part and has become something that is unhealthy for them both. Thanks for the review. :D

tinkerbell
05/17/2008 11:00 pm
Thanks to the muses for inspiring you to update!  Hopefully they'll keep inspiring you for more updates. I'm dreading to read the inevitable drama that will ensue when Buffy finds out what Spikes been up to,  Poor Spike, hasn't he suffered enough :(
So I desperately hope this will have a happy ending for our heroes!
I'm sorry I'm so incredibly late in answering your review. But, hey, at least the Muse has been churning out the chapters, right? Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how incredibly grateful I am to you for taking the time to leave feedback. :)

05/17/2008 03:15 pm
 You did such a good job here of presenting a man desperately, passionately insane about a woman.
Thank you! And what an apt description you've given of what he's feeling. :)

05/17/2008 01:00 pm
Thank you for the update.  The suspense is killing me!!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

05/17/2008 07:46 am

When I was reading the chapter, I could feel the tension building toward something monumental, something of the bad.  I didn’t want to keep reading; but, you know, proverbial train wreck :-P  I will say that I wasn’t expecting a claim.  Although, to be honest, I think I was too sick to my stomach to really speculate what was about to happen.   Of course, with hindsight’s special pair of eyes in the back of its head, it all makes sense. 

During the bitey part of this chapter, I couldn’t help but to draw a comparison with the bathroom scene in “Seeing Red.”  Spike hasn’t eaten.  He has a compulsive need to be near Buffy, inside Buffy (he couldn’t even last six hours).  He’s constantly on edge.  Dawn’s words shame him in his head, confirming what he already knows: if Buffy finds out about the demon eggs, she will not be a happy camper.  He’s filled with the same longing, the same passionate craving for her attentions, her affections that we saw in “Seeing Red.”  Only, instead of “Let yourself love me,” it’s “You love me, and you’re mine.”  He looses his dubious grasp of self-control for just a moment, but that’s all it takes to hurt the girl.  He drinks from her and claims her as his without any thought to the consequences.  Spike is so consumed with Buffy that he literally tries to consume her.

I also notice the parallel between human William and Spike.  At the beginning of FtTP, I was so amazed at the tiny vestiges of Spike that were apparent in William.  Now, it’s the opposite.  William was obsessed with keeping tabs on his Elizabeth, afraid of loosing what was his.  It’s as though he knew subconsciously that he was working on borrowed time, and at any moment, his Elizabeth would vanish into thin air.  Spike is obsessed, afraid of loosing what is his.  He knows he’s working on borrowed time, and despite Buffy’s reassurance, he’s still afraid of losing her.  After all, she assured human William that she would always be there with him—consented to be his bride for life, no less—and she disappeared the moment he took his attentions away from her. 

Despite his concerns, Buffy was able to appease human William, but she cannot seem to assuage Spike’s fears.  Human William still had his 19th century morals.  No matter how much he wanted to throw caution to the wind, something inside him always held him back; but Spike has spent the last 100 years shedding those reservations.  He has no soul, and therefore, no conscience, no way to gauge just how far is too far.  Buffy loved him when he was human, and she had no reason to hate him.  But he’s a vampire now, one who’s doing something morally questionable, something that could cause Buffy to leave him.  Although his head’s not on straight, Spike is thinking with his heart.  He wants to take care of Buffy, no matter the cost, even if the price is her love.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions indeed, or in this case, demon eggs.

Oh, loved, “So, he went right.”  So ironic since he’s going terribly wrong :-)

I am so behind on answering my reviews, it isn't even funny. But better late than never, right?

Okay, Bizarro Me, you've gone and done it again. I actually did pattern the bedroom scene in this chapter after the bathroom scene in  "Seeing Red." In fact, I watched two excerpts from that episode (Dawn visiting Spike in his crypt and the AR) beforehand. It helped me get a clearer vision of what I was already seeing in my head. I like how you mentioned his "compulsive need to be inside Buffy." It was touched on back in Chapter Fifty-Six with this line: "If he could have, he would have nestled into the soft bed of her temporal lobe or been held by the pulsing muscles of her right atrium. He would have become so deeply embedded that she couldn’t ignore him or run away." But only a few people outside this archive took note of what that meant. (Readers here rock.!) A lot of readers saw it as romantic, and I suppose it is. But it also shows how obsessive he has become and how desperate. His biting her in this chapter was a violation of her body, whether she resented it or not. Not at all on par with attempted rape, of course. But she certainly never gave him permission to put his fangs into her. Everything you said about the parallels between Spike and William is spot-on. But you already know that, don't you? You're Bizarro Me. :P

One more thing ... I think that you're the only person to mention the fact that "he went right." :D

05/17/2008 02:53 am
oh my goodness.  claiming, Spike's realization that maybe his job is a bad idea, but choosing to go along with it, to take care of Buffy, even if if destoys him...Giles' interference...wow, you've sure packed a lot into this update. 
And so finely crafted, too.  lovely.
It did turn out to be a pretty hefty chapter, lol. I thought about splitting it up, but it seemed to flow so well this way, I decided to just leave it alone. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review! :)

05/17/2008 02:05 am
Oh poor Spike...caught between a rock and hard place!  Gile's guilty conscience is now somewhat akin to a jealousy for not providing for Buffy.  I think I hate Giles more in this fic than any other one I've read.
lol. Poor Giles. All my readers hate him -- he's even been getting death threats. Ah well, that'll teach him to be such a prig. Thanks for the review. :)

05/16/2008 08:56 pm
Oh Spike.

It's what I think every time I read a new chapter lately.  A feeling of heartache and impending doom.  And sympathy, because he cares so much about her to exclusion of nearly anything else ... and her friends seem to care not too much at all.

Man, I hope everything turns out okay.  ::prays for happy ending::

Spike is making all the wrong decisions right now, but I'm glad you're still sympathizing with him. He's doing what he thinks is right: taking care of his girls at any cost. However, the costs are going to be very high indeed ... Thanks for the review. :D

05/16/2008 07:17 pm
Great Update - but how very very sad - what a burden and sorrow filled love his has become.   His love and obsession has indeed become the very thing that could eventually destroy him and a chance for happiness for all of them.  His one chance is to do the right thing and destroy those eggs and then have a honest talk with Buffy.  Now with this claim, everything has gone into such a deeper and complex relationship - what are the physical consequences going to be for the safety of Buffy and Dawn now that the claim has been introduced. 

Very much like how the human traits of William and Spike have combined and are still so vital of part of how his life has formed - all is so very sad now for Spike and his girls.

Don't much like your Giles but he is doing his duty and trying to take care of his Slayer - I only hope that Buffy will remember that she also has to take some responsibility for her choices and actions in their past.

Your observations about Spike's self-destructive behavior are spot-on. It's nice to know that I was able to convey that to readers in the way I hoped to do. But I don't think anyone likes my Giles. lol. Thanks for the review. :D

05/16/2008 06:34 pm
Excellent update, poor Spike; things seem to be unraveling at a fast pace. He doesn't seem to have the where-with-all to stop it. Looking forward to more!
Poor Spike is in freefall, and the only person who knows about it is too young to know just how to help him ... Angsty times ahead, I think. Thank you for the review. :)

fangfaceandrea
05/16/2008 06:32 pm
silly, stupid lovesick vampire indeed.
lol. I thought it was apt ...

05/16/2008 12:45 pm
Please don't let this ruin everything.  Spike should be truthful but he's doing his best.  Giles is just dying to stick his oar in!  Great chapter, as always.
Giles is still stuck in his "father" role. I think it's time he realized that his chick has grown wings and flown the nest. A (very) belated thanks to you for the review. :D

kim
05/16/2008 12:15 pm
Scarlet, you may be on to something about Buffy being more excited about school than worried about her boyfriend. It fits with her character, unfortunately, but she's been pretty self-centered the whole story.

She does love William and is trying to love Spike.......but I think their relationship now shows the vast difference in their ages. Buffy is 20 and barely past being a kid socially and emotionally, and Spike had over a 100 years with Dru. Even though Dru wasn't the same for him here as canon, he was still devoted and had plenty of practice with relationship dynamics. And I think Dru and Spike were more honest with each other than Buffy and Riley, in comparison, so it's just........different. In a vampire way, Spike already knows how to be an old married. Buffy's happy being somebody's princess, just like she used to be for her father. Miles to go before her expectations meet his.

And very sad for Spike.
I always saw Buffy as a fairly self-centered character in her personal life. It's strange considering that she's willing to risk her entire life to save the world ... but then she's a complicated girl. lol. Thanks for the review!

05/16/2008 10:56 am
Also, I agree with Lindsay.   The whole "stroking him like a puppy" thing was highly disconcerting...I initially thought that Giles had spoken to her, and that created this...chasm between them--like she was lost in her thoughts about what it all meant, and where was Spike getting that kind of money.  But she was just thinking about school.  Dude--no one is that excited about school.  Her boyfriend got a nearly coma induced headache, and hardly eats anymore cause he's worried about her, but she's busy looking at a school book?  That's crazy weird, man.  Or mad crazy.
Hmmm ... you guys picked up on that, did you? Why aren't I surprised? ;)

05/16/2008 10:50 am
Oh noes!  How could Spike bite her?  How could he lose control like that?  Oh, this is so awful...How could Buffy forgive him?!

Okay--just kidding :P  I think it's awesome he claimed her (in a sense), and she didn't freak out about it.  Of course, I do know that this egg business is going to blow up in his face in some shape or form...And Giles is on the case....Poor Spike--can't seem to catch a break.  At least Dawn is on his side--she can be quite vocal about things, so there's the good.
lol. Scarlet, you sound like a "next time on Day of Our Lives" announcement. :P But I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Belated thanks to you for the review!

kim
05/16/2008 09:58 am
Ah, I've been guessing correctly....he does know it's all for her even if it ruins things for him. But poor Dawn was enjoyingly their little family. Giles, butt out!! Isn't it enough that your Slayer is happy? That the worry lines have lessened? That's she's had some respite to get past the loss of her mother, much as anyone can? Bastard...

With her perky voice, Buffy wouldn't be too bad at telemarketing, if she found a low-pressure one. Pays better than the minimum wage she expected from DMP.
ROFL. Telemarketing? Well, there's an idea... ;)

05/16/2008 05:42 am
Giles just makes me so freaking mad!  I know Spike is obsessed, and that he's doing the wrong thing, but honestly, his heart is in the right place.  At least he's trying to do something honorable for Buffy.  He's not skulking around like a big watcher loser mucking everything up. 
But there's so much more to this chapter.  Was that a claim?  I'm worried about Spike and Buffy, not just because of what Spike is doing, but also by what is not being said between them.  That line about Buffy stroking his head like an attention-seeking puppy is very telling.  And the way Dawn's words of warning are filtering through to Spike's every moment is pushing him into even greater stress.  He's like the panther in that poem by Rilke.  It's as though Spike is losing himself in Buffy, and maybe she is finding herself again, but the cost is so high, not only in financial terms, but the cost to Spike's psyche.  But maybe I'm bringing too much of our tag discussions of season six into this; FtTP's Buffy is not the embittered abuser of the show, but someone else.  Someone who has retained (or regained?) her sweetness and strength, which lies not in her Slayer abilities but in herself. 
It's late, and my thoughts are too scattered to give this chapter justice, but I will come back to it again.  This was a doozy of a chapter, but I don't think it could have been broken up easily.  Many many thanks for writing so eloquently and with such passion for your characters!  You always leave me hanging on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter!
lol. Giles is in big trouble with the readers, isn't he? I think I need to put a bullet proof vest on him just to be safe. I agree with you about Spike wanting to do the honorable thing, even if his way of going about it is decidedly ... well ... immoral. Spike was definitely trying to claim Buffy with that bite, the poor misguided boy. Remember in Chapter 25 when one of William's reasons for sleeping with Buffy was because he thought she wouldn't be able to leave him after he took her virginity (or what he thought was her virginity anyway)? This is a similar act of desperation on Spike's part, only it is a far more complicated and far reaching one. I *love* that poem, although I've never thought about it in regards to Spike. But it definitely fits well with the content of the last few chapters. Your thoughts aren't scattered at all. On the contrary, I appreciate reading such a detailed, well thought out review. (((hugs)))

05/16/2008 05:39 am
I want to do violence on Giles in the worst way!  Damn he's as bad as S7 on the show!  Please, please with Steven Colbert on top can we hurt him A LOT???????

My heart aches for Spike...he IS worried.  He is dealing with major abandonment fears coupled with insecurities that Buffy has unknowingly fed by not having him move in or wearing his ring.  Add to that Dawn's very valid admonision and he is one big mess...I feel like I am watching a fuse heading towards a pile of TNT.

I can't help but be glad for the claim because at least it might give him a chance to not lose her.  I'd love her to actually understand and forgive but I fear that may be too much to hope for. 

As usual a brilliant chapter FILLED with tension and emotion and a massive amount of tenderness.  You have made him so vulnerable but never weak.  You have managed to make him fearful and strong at the same time.  Just beautiful!

Kathleen
The jury is out - Giles must go into the Witness Protection Program if he is to survive the rest of this story. lol. And you're offering me Stephen Colbert *on top*? Did you mean for that to sound as dirty as it did? Because it so ... you rock! Spike's abandonment issues were something that always made me feel for him on the show. I think that's why I love that "Hurt" music video ... the line "everyone I know goes away, in the end" suits Spike perfectly. Poor boy. And your comparison of Spike to TNT in this chapter - dead on! Thanks, as always, for the detailed and supportive review. ((hugs))

Miss. Onyx
05/16/2008 05:17 am
I love how noble your Spike is. It's like despite all of his self-inflicted transformation into this rough character he can't shake good breeding. He knows how to take care of things, and forsees those things before they are even an issue. It's his most endearing quality, and you have captured it and even created aspects of it better than any other author....and I have read a LOT of damn spuffy.
One thing that always stuck in my mind was the moment in "Crush" where Spike runs to open the door for Buffy. Odd thing to remember, I know. But to me, it just showcases the well-bred, chivalrous man he had once been. This Spike is even more so, due in no small part to his past experiences in taking care of her. I'm glad you like that about him. The last thing I want to do is portray him as weak or out of character, but I also want him to be true to the altered universe. Thanks for the review. :-D