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Summer Session by LunaMystik :-) 06/03/2010 06:41 am 09/07/2008 02:47 pm Interesting set up. whiff of her sent. - s/b scent This would be better if you "showed" Buffy and Spike being bored instead of just telling that they are. Also, Spike talks to himself a lot - you could change some of his thinking to talking. If you had somebody - Willow or Xander with Buffy, she could talk to them about being bored. Dialog is usually more interesting. Thanks for the advice! Keep reading, there's Spike/Buffy dialogue about the boredom and antsyness in the two next chapters. 05/28/2008 01:46 pm Ah the summer doldrums - surely they can come up with some suitable pastime! 05/28/2008 02:54 am Great start to the story. You've got their voices down. : ) 05/25/2008 09:50 pm You definitely got the lingo straight! Great start. 05/25/2008 02:50 am good beginning, thank you. duke6665 05/20/2008 09:59 pm great start.can't wait for more. Thanks for my first review on BSV! More to come shortly. | |||
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