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Chapter one
Author's Notes: This story is neither all fluff nor angst... I like to mix things up. ;) There will be regular updates, probably an update a week maybe two if I have enough time. I'm annoying like that.
As I said in the summary it starts out as AH, but I promise Spike will become a vamp eventually and Buffy the Slayer.
Beta'd by lovely dawnofme and Mabel Marsters. The chapters are so much better with their input.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 1
The world around her crumbled away with all rational thought ceasing to exist as Buffy gazed into his eyes. The eyes that were now pinning her in place with their aching familiarity. The unspoken emotions and desperation clearly on display. His heart naked for her perusal, just like it had always been. William was alive.
But there was something else too. Something she’d never seen in him before. The bestial power holding him captive simmered beneath the surface of his now sallow skin, pulling his muscles taut, ready to move at the slightest hint of... what exactly?
Her fists clenched, nails digging into her palms. Pain was good. Familiar. It helped her stay grounded and kept her from crossing the distance that could as well have been miles for the hollowness it imprinted upon her soul. 'Can’t touch him. Not mine anymore. Not William anymore either.'
They stood there, the night shrouding their regret and sorrow as the street lamp illuminated them through the thick blackness of the late hour. His voice rumbled through the silence, startling her.
“Hello, luv. Long time no see, eh?”
********
2 years earlier
Buffy stretched out on her bed, headphones in her ears as she stared unmoving at the ceiling above her. She’d never noticed the crack before. The black tiny crack seemed to get bigger the longer she stared at it. It was just her imagination, she knew that. Still, for a moment, Buffy imagined it would open up and swallow her whole. A portal to a world where things would be different, where someone would actually care about her feelings and thoughts.
Maybe if she just managed not to blink…
A dull crash came from downstairs, followed by loud voices. Turning up the volume of the music, she squeezed her eyes shut. Ever since she first met Ted, she knew her life would change forever. At first, Buffy was just angry at her mother for finding a substitute so soon after the divorce with Dad. For being able to move on so quickly, when Buffy still couldn’t help but feel occasional pangs of not having him in her life, no matter how lacking her father was. But then it got worse. Ted constantly threatened her, even hit her when she mouthed off. Which was pretty much all the time.
Her mother told her she was being irrational and selfish. Ted was a prefect gentleman, of course. He’d never hurt Joyce or Buffy the way Hank had. It was all a load of crap. Or so Buffy had told her. Her mother had slapped her. It was just that once, and Joyce had been horrified, apologizing profusely. But the damaged had already been done. Buffy could still feel the sting of her mother’s betrayal on her cheek. The one person that was supposed to love her unconditionally had chosen her boyfriend over her own blood.
The voices from downstairs became louder. Then there was silence. Someone stomped up the stairs and the door to her bedroom flung open. Buffy sat up, glaring at the intruder. It was Ted, bearing that fake disturbing smile. Except, this time he looked like he was really satisfied. Like the time he had persuaded her mother to remove the lock from her door. Buffy turned off the music and removed the headphones from her ears. Joyce was standing behind Ted with a nervous expression.
“What do you want?” Buffy snapped, determined not to show him how worried she was. He could take away her privacy and turn her mother into his obedient little slave, but she’d be dead before he’d ever make her submit to him.
“We have great news to tell you, don’t we, sweetheart?” He glanced at Joyce over his shoulder then grinned at Buffy.
“What news?” Buffy was almost too afraid to ask.
“Your grades getting any better?” At her blank expression he just nodded and smiled in satisfaction. “Just as I thought. Well, you obviously learn nothing at that school of yours. The teachers are so lenient with you children these days. It’s a disgrace. So, Joyce and I decided it would be best if you transferred somewhere else,” Ted said.
“What? Are you kidding me? Are you just going to take me out of the only place where I actually have some friends?”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. The disrespect. I think we made the right choice. But you haven’t heard the best thing about it.” Ted rubbed his hands together as he maliciously smiled at her and Buffy’s stomach dropped at his next words. “You’re going to a boarding school. In England. Or some island close to it. Whatever. I should tell you though… I’ve heard they’re very strict with trouble makers like you.”
Buffy stared at him incredulously and then turned to her mother. “Mom! You can’t do this to me. Please, don’t do this! How can you agree with something like that? Don’t you love me anymore?” She no longer cared if she let Ted see her weak as tears slid down her cheeks. She had to make her mother understand. She had to…
“I- I think it is for the best, honey. Just give it a chance. Maybe you’ll even like it. Learn how to be independent. It’s just for a year,” Joyce said.
“It’s not like you’re giving me a choice,” Buffy said, her words hissing past her clenched teeth as she trembled with anger and grief. “Get out of my room.”
She watched Ted nod at her with mock understanding. Buffy was unable to even glance at her mother. The door closed and she collapsed on the bed, her sobs muffled by a pillow.
They said there was no place like home. She didn’t have hers anymore.
*******
Rain pelted down on Buffy as she stood in front of a big iron gate. It loomed over her, the entrance to her prison. Goosebumps rose on her skin. She was getting soaked to the bone, her umbrella broken and useless from the wind that was now causing her hair to whip around her face. Buffy was cold and miserable, but still she couldn’t pass the gate. If she did, it would be over.
Maybe if she took off... Felt the rain wash away her sorrow as she just ran and never stopped. But she knew better. The pain of her mother’s betrayal would chase her wherever she went, for as long as she needed to breathe. Buffy had never felt as alone as she did right now. On this secluded island called Isles of Scilly, in the country that didn’t feel like home.
The taxi driver had unloaded her stuff and left after she gave him money, smiling as he drove off. She could still remember the lack of expression on her mother’s face as she left her at the airport. Buffy didn’t understand how her mom could change from that loving woman into a disinterested obedient wife.
“What are you standing out there for? You’re going to get sick. You are Buffy Summers, I presume?” called a female voice. Buffy looked up and nodded, noticing that the gate had been pushed open and a woman was now standing a few feet away from her. It was hard to see her face through the rain, but she didn’t look older than thirty. She was wearing glasses and had her brown hair pulled into a bun. The woman in question raised her eyebrow. “Well? Grab the luggage and follow me.”
Buffy dragged her suitcase behind her as she followed the woman, struggling with the heavy luggage up the couple of steps and through the double door of the school. It looked ancient from the outside and the vines snaking down the brick walls almost made it look pretty. The moment Buffy crossed the threshold, though, she felt the weight of her situation settle heavily upon her heart.
The atmosphere of the place made her shiver. The oppressive silence breathed at her from every corner and crevice of the large atrium. The sound of her steps echoed loudly off the polished wooden floor up to the high ceiling. Even her breath sounded harsh in the vast emptiness.
“This school has a long history as you’ve probably noticed,” spoke the woman, tearing Buffy out of her musings. “It was built in the late nineteenth century. We were forced to make reparations but it is mostly in its original shape. All the students are currently in classes so I’m afraid you’re going to have to take your belongings into your room by yourself.”
The woman stopped and turned to her. “Your room is on the second floor. Here is your key with the number on it. As soon as you’re presentable, come downstairs and ask for Lisa at the reception. I’ll take you to meet the headmistress.”
Buffy watched her turn on her heel and disappear behind the corner. Staring at the winding staircase, Buffy heaved a sigh and repressed the urge to scream or cry. She grabbed the suitcase instead and proceeded to drag it up the stairs. She already hated this place with a passion.
********
Buffy resisted the urge to squirm in her seat as the woman sitting behind a large mahogany desk glared at her. The headmistress. She stood up, quickly running a hand down her gray pencil skirt before she tugged on the white shirt, buttoned up to her neck. Her graying hair was pulled up into a severe bun with not a single hair out of place. Buffy’s head ached just from the sight of it.
”Welcome to our school, Miss Summers. My name is Sallie Bennett and I’m the headmistress. You’re probably wondering why you’re here in my office.”
“Actually, I’m used to it. But I’m sure I haven’t had the time to get in any trouble yet.” Buffy shrugged and crossed her arms across her chest.
The headmistress heaved an annoyed sigh at having to deal with yet another teenager, her thin lips pulled taut in a sneer. She picked up a cane and flexed it in her grip as she continued talking. “Hmm, yes. But I’m sure you will, according to your files from the Hemery High. You’re here so we prevent that from happening. There will be no skipping classes, neglecting your homework, talking back or smoking and almost setting the school building on fire.”
“That was not me!”
“I don’t care, Miss Summers. Take this as a good advice. We’re used to dealing with wayward children like you. Whatever way we see fit.” The headmistress stroked the cane in her hands and Buffy’s eyes widened.
“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. If my mother heard--”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Plus, your mother doesn’t care. She signed the papers after all. She’s given this institution full authority over your education.”
'And so much more,' the headmistress thought with delight.
Buffy’s heart hammered in her chest. “What? She wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m afraid she did.”
Smiling in satisfaction, Miss Bennett sat behind her desk and reaching into the bottom drawer she drew out a couple of papers. Buffy watched warily as the headmistress pushed it towards her.
“What is it?” Buffy asked, already knowing the answer.
“The proof that you’re wrong. To save you the reading, it basically says that you can’t leave until the year is up. And all the decisions regarding your… education… are in the hands of the school’s authority, which is me. You’re in my hands now.”
Buffy stared down at the papers, unable to tear her eyes away from her mother’s signature. What did it even mean that she couldn’t leave? How did they plan on keeping her from doing exactly that if she wanted to? She had a bad feeling about this.
“Any questions?” The headmistress didn’t even wait for an answer as she started straightening the pencils on her desk so the tips formed a line. “Right then. See yourself out before I lose my patience.”
Buffy stood up and walked out the door. There was something about that woman that creeped her out. It wasn’t just that she was crazy and obviously hated people; it was something intangible. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
Rounding the corner, Buffy was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t notice the person struggling to balance a big pile of books. The collision almost made her lose her footing. There was a loud clutter as the books fell to the floor.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you… here, let me help you,” Buffy said, dropping to her knees to help the person she almost ran over pick up the books. She raised her head and froze. The boy quickly ducked his head when he noticed she’d found him staring at her. It was long enough for her to get captivated by the most amazing eyes she’d ever gazed into. The sudden impulse to run her fingers through his curls made her blush.
“I-it’s alright. You’re not h-hurt, are you?”
Was he asking her something? Why couldn’t she focus?
'Damn it, Buffy, don’t sit here staring at him like some kind of freak. Answer him!'
“Umm… no. I’m okay. This is me… being okay and without a scratch.” She groaned inwardly. They should invent medicine to prevent babbling. “My name is Buffy.” Her cheeks were burning and she could feel the heat radiating off them. This was so not like her. She never blushed in front of a guy. But those eyes… so intense, so full of hidden emotions and secrets.
“I’m… William. William Pratt.”
“Nice to meet you, William.”
The destiny stared her in the face, represented by the one person capable of both destroying her and putting her back together.
She didn’t even know.
TBC
End Notes: Should I post more? *bats eyelashes*
As I said in the summary it starts out as AH, but I promise Spike will become a vamp eventually and Buffy the Slayer.
Beta'd by lovely dawnofme and Mabel Marsters. The chapters are so much better with their input.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 1
The world around her crumbled away with all rational thought ceasing to exist as Buffy gazed into his eyes. The eyes that were now pinning her in place with their aching familiarity. The unspoken emotions and desperation clearly on display. His heart naked for her perusal, just like it had always been. William was alive.
But there was something else too. Something she’d never seen in him before. The bestial power holding him captive simmered beneath the surface of his now sallow skin, pulling his muscles taut, ready to move at the slightest hint of... what exactly?
Her fists clenched, nails digging into her palms. Pain was good. Familiar. It helped her stay grounded and kept her from crossing the distance that could as well have been miles for the hollowness it imprinted upon her soul. 'Can’t touch him. Not mine anymore. Not William anymore either.'
They stood there, the night shrouding their regret and sorrow as the street lamp illuminated them through the thick blackness of the late hour. His voice rumbled through the silence, startling her.
“Hello, luv. Long time no see, eh?”
********
2 years earlier
Buffy stretched out on her bed, headphones in her ears as she stared unmoving at the ceiling above her. She’d never noticed the crack before. The black tiny crack seemed to get bigger the longer she stared at it. It was just her imagination, she knew that. Still, for a moment, Buffy imagined it would open up and swallow her whole. A portal to a world where things would be different, where someone would actually care about her feelings and thoughts.
Maybe if she just managed not to blink…
A dull crash came from downstairs, followed by loud voices. Turning up the volume of the music, she squeezed her eyes shut. Ever since she first met Ted, she knew her life would change forever. At first, Buffy was just angry at her mother for finding a substitute so soon after the divorce with Dad. For being able to move on so quickly, when Buffy still couldn’t help but feel occasional pangs of not having him in her life, no matter how lacking her father was. But then it got worse. Ted constantly threatened her, even hit her when she mouthed off. Which was pretty much all the time.
Her mother told her she was being irrational and selfish. Ted was a prefect gentleman, of course. He’d never hurt Joyce or Buffy the way Hank had. It was all a load of crap. Or so Buffy had told her. Her mother had slapped her. It was just that once, and Joyce had been horrified, apologizing profusely. But the damaged had already been done. Buffy could still feel the sting of her mother’s betrayal on her cheek. The one person that was supposed to love her unconditionally had chosen her boyfriend over her own blood.
The voices from downstairs became louder. Then there was silence. Someone stomped up the stairs and the door to her bedroom flung open. Buffy sat up, glaring at the intruder. It was Ted, bearing that fake disturbing smile. Except, this time he looked like he was really satisfied. Like the time he had persuaded her mother to remove the lock from her door. Buffy turned off the music and removed the headphones from her ears. Joyce was standing behind Ted with a nervous expression.
“What do you want?” Buffy snapped, determined not to show him how worried she was. He could take away her privacy and turn her mother into his obedient little slave, but she’d be dead before he’d ever make her submit to him.
“We have great news to tell you, don’t we, sweetheart?” He glanced at Joyce over his shoulder then grinned at Buffy.
“What news?” Buffy was almost too afraid to ask.
“Your grades getting any better?” At her blank expression he just nodded and smiled in satisfaction. “Just as I thought. Well, you obviously learn nothing at that school of yours. The teachers are so lenient with you children these days. It’s a disgrace. So, Joyce and I decided it would be best if you transferred somewhere else,” Ted said.
“What? Are you kidding me? Are you just going to take me out of the only place where I actually have some friends?”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. The disrespect. I think we made the right choice. But you haven’t heard the best thing about it.” Ted rubbed his hands together as he maliciously smiled at her and Buffy’s stomach dropped at his next words. “You’re going to a boarding school. In England. Or some island close to it. Whatever. I should tell you though… I’ve heard they’re very strict with trouble makers like you.”
Buffy stared at him incredulously and then turned to her mother. “Mom! You can’t do this to me. Please, don’t do this! How can you agree with something like that? Don’t you love me anymore?” She no longer cared if she let Ted see her weak as tears slid down her cheeks. She had to make her mother understand. She had to…
“I- I think it is for the best, honey. Just give it a chance. Maybe you’ll even like it. Learn how to be independent. It’s just for a year,” Joyce said.
“It’s not like you’re giving me a choice,” Buffy said, her words hissing past her clenched teeth as she trembled with anger and grief. “Get out of my room.”
She watched Ted nod at her with mock understanding. Buffy was unable to even glance at her mother. The door closed and she collapsed on the bed, her sobs muffled by a pillow.
They said there was no place like home. She didn’t have hers anymore.
*******
Rain pelted down on Buffy as she stood in front of a big iron gate. It loomed over her, the entrance to her prison. Goosebumps rose on her skin. She was getting soaked to the bone, her umbrella broken and useless from the wind that was now causing her hair to whip around her face. Buffy was cold and miserable, but still she couldn’t pass the gate. If she did, it would be over.
Maybe if she took off... Felt the rain wash away her sorrow as she just ran and never stopped. But she knew better. The pain of her mother’s betrayal would chase her wherever she went, for as long as she needed to breathe. Buffy had never felt as alone as she did right now. On this secluded island called Isles of Scilly, in the country that didn’t feel like home.
The taxi driver had unloaded her stuff and left after she gave him money, smiling as he drove off. She could still remember the lack of expression on her mother’s face as she left her at the airport. Buffy didn’t understand how her mom could change from that loving woman into a disinterested obedient wife.
“What are you standing out there for? You’re going to get sick. You are Buffy Summers, I presume?” called a female voice. Buffy looked up and nodded, noticing that the gate had been pushed open and a woman was now standing a few feet away from her. It was hard to see her face through the rain, but she didn’t look older than thirty. She was wearing glasses and had her brown hair pulled into a bun. The woman in question raised her eyebrow. “Well? Grab the luggage and follow me.”
Buffy dragged her suitcase behind her as she followed the woman, struggling with the heavy luggage up the couple of steps and through the double door of the school. It looked ancient from the outside and the vines snaking down the brick walls almost made it look pretty. The moment Buffy crossed the threshold, though, she felt the weight of her situation settle heavily upon her heart.
The atmosphere of the place made her shiver. The oppressive silence breathed at her from every corner and crevice of the large atrium. The sound of her steps echoed loudly off the polished wooden floor up to the high ceiling. Even her breath sounded harsh in the vast emptiness.
“This school has a long history as you’ve probably noticed,” spoke the woman, tearing Buffy out of her musings. “It was built in the late nineteenth century. We were forced to make reparations but it is mostly in its original shape. All the students are currently in classes so I’m afraid you’re going to have to take your belongings into your room by yourself.”
The woman stopped and turned to her. “Your room is on the second floor. Here is your key with the number on it. As soon as you’re presentable, come downstairs and ask for Lisa at the reception. I’ll take you to meet the headmistress.”
Buffy watched her turn on her heel and disappear behind the corner. Staring at the winding staircase, Buffy heaved a sigh and repressed the urge to scream or cry. She grabbed the suitcase instead and proceeded to drag it up the stairs. She already hated this place with a passion.
********
Buffy resisted the urge to squirm in her seat as the woman sitting behind a large mahogany desk glared at her. The headmistress. She stood up, quickly running a hand down her gray pencil skirt before she tugged on the white shirt, buttoned up to her neck. Her graying hair was pulled up into a severe bun with not a single hair out of place. Buffy’s head ached just from the sight of it.
”Welcome to our school, Miss Summers. My name is Sallie Bennett and I’m the headmistress. You’re probably wondering why you’re here in my office.”
“Actually, I’m used to it. But I’m sure I haven’t had the time to get in any trouble yet.” Buffy shrugged and crossed her arms across her chest.
The headmistress heaved an annoyed sigh at having to deal with yet another teenager, her thin lips pulled taut in a sneer. She picked up a cane and flexed it in her grip as she continued talking. “Hmm, yes. But I’m sure you will, according to your files from the Hemery High. You’re here so we prevent that from happening. There will be no skipping classes, neglecting your homework, talking back or smoking and almost setting the school building on fire.”
“That was not me!”
“I don’t care, Miss Summers. Take this as a good advice. We’re used to dealing with wayward children like you. Whatever way we see fit.” The headmistress stroked the cane in her hands and Buffy’s eyes widened.
“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. If my mother heard--”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Plus, your mother doesn’t care. She signed the papers after all. She’s given this institution full authority over your education.”
'And so much more,' the headmistress thought with delight.
Buffy’s heart hammered in her chest. “What? She wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m afraid she did.”
Smiling in satisfaction, Miss Bennett sat behind her desk and reaching into the bottom drawer she drew out a couple of papers. Buffy watched warily as the headmistress pushed it towards her.
“What is it?” Buffy asked, already knowing the answer.
“The proof that you’re wrong. To save you the reading, it basically says that you can’t leave until the year is up. And all the decisions regarding your… education… are in the hands of the school’s authority, which is me. You’re in my hands now.”
Buffy stared down at the papers, unable to tear her eyes away from her mother’s signature. What did it even mean that she couldn’t leave? How did they plan on keeping her from doing exactly that if she wanted to? She had a bad feeling about this.
“Any questions?” The headmistress didn’t even wait for an answer as she started straightening the pencils on her desk so the tips formed a line. “Right then. See yourself out before I lose my patience.”
Buffy stood up and walked out the door. There was something about that woman that creeped her out. It wasn’t just that she was crazy and obviously hated people; it was something intangible. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
Rounding the corner, Buffy was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t notice the person struggling to balance a big pile of books. The collision almost made her lose her footing. There was a loud clutter as the books fell to the floor.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you… here, let me help you,” Buffy said, dropping to her knees to help the person she almost ran over pick up the books. She raised her head and froze. The boy quickly ducked his head when he noticed she’d found him staring at her. It was long enough for her to get captivated by the most amazing eyes she’d ever gazed into. The sudden impulse to run her fingers through his curls made her blush.
“I-it’s alright. You’re not h-hurt, are you?”
Was he asking her something? Why couldn’t she focus?
'Damn it, Buffy, don’t sit here staring at him like some kind of freak. Answer him!'
“Umm… no. I’m okay. This is me… being okay and without a scratch.” She groaned inwardly. They should invent medicine to prevent babbling. “My name is Buffy.” Her cheeks were burning and she could feel the heat radiating off them. This was so not like her. She never blushed in front of a guy. But those eyes… so intense, so full of hidden emotions and secrets.
“I’m… William. William Pratt.”
“Nice to meet you, William.”
The destiny stared her in the face, represented by the one person capable of both destroying her and putting her back together.
She didn’t even know.
TBC
End Notes: Should I post more? *bats eyelashes*
Chapter two
Author's notes: I don't think anyone here is liking the story, but I'll update anyway... just in case someone does.
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters, the best betas ever!
Chapter 2
Buffy tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. The girl she was sharing the room with was snoring slightly, occasionally smacking her lips. The room was shrouded in pitch blackness, and she was so tired. Still, Buffy couldn’t rest. There was nothing she could do to stop the annoying rush of thoughts and homesickness. She missed her mother, her friends and the familiar scent of her bedroom. For a moment she wondered if Joyce missed her too.
'Probably not.'
The floor creaked as if someone stepped on it and Buffy’s heart pounded in her chest. She tried to tell herself it was just the old building making creepy noises. Trying to block out the unsettling feelings the school evoked in her, Buffy thought of the boy she’d met.
'Ran over is more like it.'
She smiled faintly then frowned. After he introduced himself, William had scrambled to pick up his books and practically fled from her. She wondered what that was all about. Surely someone would have told her if she was a social leper that nobody could stand to be around? Maybe he was just shy. If he was, Buffy could be the one to help him out of his shell and learn everything there was to know about William Pratt.
With that thought in mind, Buffy fell into a troubling sleep.
*******
History. Who needed the stupid subject anyway? Who cared what happened in the past? Buffy was all about living in the present. As long as it didn’t include homework.
“Why the long face, B?” asked her roommate.
“I told you not to call me B, Faith. It’s Buffy.”
“Chill out or you’ll never get rid of that stick up your ass.” Faith chuckled and slapped Buffy on the back, making her stumble.
Buffy just rolled her eyes. “You don’t even know me.”
“I think I’ve seen enough. Don’t worry. One month with me and you’re gonna be dancing on the table, drinking tequila from some dude’s rippling abs.”
“First of all, ew. Second, I don’t--”
Buffy stopped in her tracks as she spotted William talking to a girl. There were a few students trying to look inconspicuous as they stood around, obviously listening.
“Ah, poor guy. See the snotty bitch he’s talking to? That’s Cecily Underwood. Everyone knows little Willy’s got a yen for her. Didn’t know he’d have the balls to set himself up for a public brush off,” Faith said.
Buffy didn’t respond, just watched as William earnestly whispered something to Cecily who glanced around embarrassedly.
Faith dragged her closer and Buffy could hear what he was saying. She wished she’d never seen this. Still it was impossible to tear her eyes away.
“I k-know it’s… umm… unseemly a-and the poem is… not good. But I… I have feelings for you, Cecily. All that I ask you is that you give me a c-chance to--”
“Shut up! God, just leave me alone. You’re embarrassing me in front of the whole school.” Cecily hissed past her lips and yanked a slip of paper from William’s hand, tearing it into little pieces in front of the bystanders. “You could be the last man on this Earth, William, and I still wouldn’t even give you a glance. You’re beneath me.”
With that, Cecily turned on her heel and left the hall.
Buffy could see tears trailing down William’s cheeks as he bowed his head and rushed out. She was about to follow him when Faith grasped her forearm. “What are you doing, B?”
“I just… he looks like he needs a friend.”
“This is not the best moment, believe me. Let the guy lick his wounds in peace. I may be a bitch at times, but that was just cruel.” Faith shook her head and together they headed to the classroom.
Buffy couldn’t help but feel an unexplainable rush of protectiveness for the boy she’d met just once.
*********
Her first day at school was finally over. Buffy sighed in relief as she sneaked into an abandoned dark classroom, leaning her back on the wall. In comparison with this school, her old one could be considered a place of frolic and fun. No one dared to even whisper or turn in their seat. It was wiggy. Buffy knew math could be scary, but this was seriously wrong. The only person that dared to cause any kind of disturbance was her roommate Faith. She got sent to Miss Bennett’s office immediately. Faith had smirked, but there was a barely suppressed wince as she glanced at her palms. Buffy had an uncanny idea she knew what that was all about.
Something heavy crashed to the floor in the room Buffy was standing in. She jumped and fumbled for a switch. Her fingers found it and she flicked it on.
'Well, I certainly didn’t expect this.'
“H-hi. Umm… I apologize. I was trying to leave without you noticing. I s-stumbled and knocked down t-the chair,” William said from the other end of the class room, his head bowed as he righted the chair. “Always manage to mess everything up,” he whispered, probably thinking Buffy wouldn’t hear. She did. William turned to leave.
“Wait! Don’t go. I mean… I don’t mind you being here.”
“You don’t?” He sounded surprised.
“Why would I?” she asked, watching as he blushed and tried to come up with something to say.
“People don’t… they don’t usually talk to me.”
“I don’t see why. You’re the only nice person I’ve met since I came here.”
William’s eyes snapped to meet hers and he looked… grateful. It startled Buffy to think he obviously wasn’t used to hearing anything but insults. Then his eyes darkened slightly and she wondered what he was thinking. William Pratt fascinated her.
“Yes, well… being nice isn’t… I’m not comfortable talking about it.” He stood there stiffly, trying hard not to fidget.
“I understand,” Buffy said with a slight smile. “Why don’t you sit? You look uneasy.”
William hesitated then sat down, his back straight as a ruler. Buffy suppressed a giggle. He didn’t seem to know how to relax. Maybe it was because of her presence. Either way, she needed to get to know him. It called to her; something beyond her understanding, telling her there was so much more to him than what met the eye. Something deep and passionate.
Buffy took a step towards him, walking slowly until she stood beside him. “May I?” she asked, pointing at the chair opposite him. William glanced between her and the chair and nodded.
“I’m really sorry, you know,” she said.
“What? W-why?”
“For making you drop all those heavy books the other day. For invading your privacy right now. And for… earlier, I saw… I mean, I heard-”
William paled suddenly and glanced away from her. “You needn’t apologize and I… I’m sure the whole school witnessed that s-spectacle.” His voice wavered and Buffy had a terrifying suspicion he was fighting tears.
Buffy furrowed her brow and reached out her hand. Uncertain, she paused then gathered her courage and put her hand over his. William’s eyes widened as he turned to stare at her and Buffy had to fight the urge to flee. She could feel him do the same as his hand flexed beneath hers. But he didn’t stand up and leave. His gaze was fixed on hers, as if looking for a clue as to why was she doing this.
“Cecily doesn’t deserve someone like you,” she whispered and squeezed his hand. William gulped and nodded unconvincingly so she continued. “Obviously, I don’t really know you. But I’m rarely wrong about people and what I see in you is… She doesn’t deserve you. Cecily is a cruel bitch.”
William’s eyes widened and he ducked his head as the corners of his mouth lifted in a slightest hint of a smile. He glanced at her and his smile faded. “Maybe s-she was right. I’m not… I always embarrass myself. I’m n-not like others-- confident and talkative.”
“You’re talking to me right now, and believe me… it’s refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t whistle after a woman and call her a nice piece of ass.”
“I would never… I couldn’t.”
“Hence the refreshing. Besides, being confident, you can learn that. And the fact that you’re a bit shy--”
He withdrew his hand away and stood up, pacing. “They call me a bloody awful poet, you know. They ridicule me and pick on me and call me a coward when I let them.” He stared at her now, imploring her to stand up and go. To give up on him because he was a helpless case. Asking her with his eyes why she was wasting her time with someone like him. It made Buffy angry. Furious at the people that made him think less of himself.
“You’re not a coward, William. Would a coward confess his feelings, leave his heart open for being crushed? I don’t think I’d be able to do that.”
He stopped and gazed at her as if she was the only person to ever be kind to him. The only one that had listened and seen who he was. “Who are you, Buffy Summers?”
“I’ll let you know once I figure that one out.”
TBC
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters, the best betas ever!
Chapter 2
Buffy tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. The girl she was sharing the room with was snoring slightly, occasionally smacking her lips. The room was shrouded in pitch blackness, and she was so tired. Still, Buffy couldn’t rest. There was nothing she could do to stop the annoying rush of thoughts and homesickness. She missed her mother, her friends and the familiar scent of her bedroom. For a moment she wondered if Joyce missed her too.
'Probably not.'
The floor creaked as if someone stepped on it and Buffy’s heart pounded in her chest. She tried to tell herself it was just the old building making creepy noises. Trying to block out the unsettling feelings the school evoked in her, Buffy thought of the boy she’d met.
'Ran over is more like it.'
She smiled faintly then frowned. After he introduced himself, William had scrambled to pick up his books and practically fled from her. She wondered what that was all about. Surely someone would have told her if she was a social leper that nobody could stand to be around? Maybe he was just shy. If he was, Buffy could be the one to help him out of his shell and learn everything there was to know about William Pratt.
With that thought in mind, Buffy fell into a troubling sleep.
*******
History. Who needed the stupid subject anyway? Who cared what happened in the past? Buffy was all about living in the present. As long as it didn’t include homework.
“Why the long face, B?” asked her roommate.
“I told you not to call me B, Faith. It’s Buffy.”
“Chill out or you’ll never get rid of that stick up your ass.” Faith chuckled and slapped Buffy on the back, making her stumble.
Buffy just rolled her eyes. “You don’t even know me.”
“I think I’ve seen enough. Don’t worry. One month with me and you’re gonna be dancing on the table, drinking tequila from some dude’s rippling abs.”
“First of all, ew. Second, I don’t--”
Buffy stopped in her tracks as she spotted William talking to a girl. There were a few students trying to look inconspicuous as they stood around, obviously listening.
“Ah, poor guy. See the snotty bitch he’s talking to? That’s Cecily Underwood. Everyone knows little Willy’s got a yen for her. Didn’t know he’d have the balls to set himself up for a public brush off,” Faith said.
Buffy didn’t respond, just watched as William earnestly whispered something to Cecily who glanced around embarrassedly.
Faith dragged her closer and Buffy could hear what he was saying. She wished she’d never seen this. Still it was impossible to tear her eyes away.
“I k-know it’s… umm… unseemly a-and the poem is… not good. But I… I have feelings for you, Cecily. All that I ask you is that you give me a c-chance to--”
“Shut up! God, just leave me alone. You’re embarrassing me in front of the whole school.” Cecily hissed past her lips and yanked a slip of paper from William’s hand, tearing it into little pieces in front of the bystanders. “You could be the last man on this Earth, William, and I still wouldn’t even give you a glance. You’re beneath me.”
With that, Cecily turned on her heel and left the hall.
Buffy could see tears trailing down William’s cheeks as he bowed his head and rushed out. She was about to follow him when Faith grasped her forearm. “What are you doing, B?”
“I just… he looks like he needs a friend.”
“This is not the best moment, believe me. Let the guy lick his wounds in peace. I may be a bitch at times, but that was just cruel.” Faith shook her head and together they headed to the classroom.
Buffy couldn’t help but feel an unexplainable rush of protectiveness for the boy she’d met just once.
*********
Her first day at school was finally over. Buffy sighed in relief as she sneaked into an abandoned dark classroom, leaning her back on the wall. In comparison with this school, her old one could be considered a place of frolic and fun. No one dared to even whisper or turn in their seat. It was wiggy. Buffy knew math could be scary, but this was seriously wrong. The only person that dared to cause any kind of disturbance was her roommate Faith. She got sent to Miss Bennett’s office immediately. Faith had smirked, but there was a barely suppressed wince as she glanced at her palms. Buffy had an uncanny idea she knew what that was all about.
Something heavy crashed to the floor in the room Buffy was standing in. She jumped and fumbled for a switch. Her fingers found it and she flicked it on.
'Well, I certainly didn’t expect this.'
“H-hi. Umm… I apologize. I was trying to leave without you noticing. I s-stumbled and knocked down t-the chair,” William said from the other end of the class room, his head bowed as he righted the chair. “Always manage to mess everything up,” he whispered, probably thinking Buffy wouldn’t hear. She did. William turned to leave.
“Wait! Don’t go. I mean… I don’t mind you being here.”
“You don’t?” He sounded surprised.
“Why would I?” she asked, watching as he blushed and tried to come up with something to say.
“People don’t… they don’t usually talk to me.”
“I don’t see why. You’re the only nice person I’ve met since I came here.”
William’s eyes snapped to meet hers and he looked… grateful. It startled Buffy to think he obviously wasn’t used to hearing anything but insults. Then his eyes darkened slightly and she wondered what he was thinking. William Pratt fascinated her.
“Yes, well… being nice isn’t… I’m not comfortable talking about it.” He stood there stiffly, trying hard not to fidget.
“I understand,” Buffy said with a slight smile. “Why don’t you sit? You look uneasy.”
William hesitated then sat down, his back straight as a ruler. Buffy suppressed a giggle. He didn’t seem to know how to relax. Maybe it was because of her presence. Either way, she needed to get to know him. It called to her; something beyond her understanding, telling her there was so much more to him than what met the eye. Something deep and passionate.
Buffy took a step towards him, walking slowly until she stood beside him. “May I?” she asked, pointing at the chair opposite him. William glanced between her and the chair and nodded.
“I’m really sorry, you know,” she said.
“What? W-why?”
“For making you drop all those heavy books the other day. For invading your privacy right now. And for… earlier, I saw… I mean, I heard-”
William paled suddenly and glanced away from her. “You needn’t apologize and I… I’m sure the whole school witnessed that s-spectacle.” His voice wavered and Buffy had a terrifying suspicion he was fighting tears.
Buffy furrowed her brow and reached out her hand. Uncertain, she paused then gathered her courage and put her hand over his. William’s eyes widened as he turned to stare at her and Buffy had to fight the urge to flee. She could feel him do the same as his hand flexed beneath hers. But he didn’t stand up and leave. His gaze was fixed on hers, as if looking for a clue as to why was she doing this.
“Cecily doesn’t deserve someone like you,” she whispered and squeezed his hand. William gulped and nodded unconvincingly so she continued. “Obviously, I don’t really know you. But I’m rarely wrong about people and what I see in you is… She doesn’t deserve you. Cecily is a cruel bitch.”
William’s eyes widened and he ducked his head as the corners of his mouth lifted in a slightest hint of a smile. He glanced at her and his smile faded. “Maybe s-she was right. I’m not… I always embarrass myself. I’m n-not like others-- confident and talkative.”
“You’re talking to me right now, and believe me… it’s refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t whistle after a woman and call her a nice piece of ass.”
“I would never… I couldn’t.”
“Hence the refreshing. Besides, being confident, you can learn that. And the fact that you’re a bit shy--”
He withdrew his hand away and stood up, pacing. “They call me a bloody awful poet, you know. They ridicule me and pick on me and call me a coward when I let them.” He stared at her now, imploring her to stand up and go. To give up on him because he was a helpless case. Asking her with his eyes why she was wasting her time with someone like him. It made Buffy angry. Furious at the people that made him think less of himself.
“You’re not a coward, William. Would a coward confess his feelings, leave his heart open for being crushed? I don’t think I’d be able to do that.”
He stopped and gazed at her as if she was the only person to ever be kind to him. The only one that had listened and seen who he was. “Who are you, Buffy Summers?”
“I’ll let you know once I figure that one out.”
TBC
Chapter three
Chapter 3
Buffy sat on her bed, tub of first aid healing cream in her lap. “I still don’t see why you would provoke the teacher like that.”
Faith winced as Buffy dabbed the lashes on her hands with the ointment. “He was being a dick.”
After being particularly rude to their physics professor, Faith had been sent to the headmistress. Now Buffy was helping her reduce the sting.
“He really was, but I don’t think it was worth it. They can’t do this to students! You should report it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they would listen to me. Nobody cares, B.”
“But you have proof! And I’m sure someone-”
“I don’t need anyone’s pity. I can take care of myself. Besides this place… it’s not what it seems.” Faith stood up and scowled at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Weird shit happens here, that’s all.”
“Like what?” Faith only shrugged.
“People tried, you know? Calling police, social services and such. They showed up, entered the school but nobody has ever seen them leave. Or so I’ve heard. The only person you can count on is yourself anyway.” Faith picked up her bag and headed out the room with a wave of her hand. “See you later, B.”
*********
Buffy was unable to stop thinking about what Faith had told her before she left for her classes, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched. Could it be that what Buffy felt, the goose bumps rising on her skin as she walked the corridors were not just her imagination? Was there something more… something evil?
You’ve watched one too many movies. There’s no such thing as ghosts or demons.
There had to be a reasonable explanation. Students were just probably thinking up the stories to scare the freshmen. But that didn’t explain why the school hadn’t been closed for the methods they used. Buffy was pretty sure caning was not a suitable educating technique in the twenty-first century. Was there some conspiracy? Did the local authorities ignore the illegal abuse of the students on purpose?
Or was it something else entirely?
********
Seeing William head into the library the next day, Buffy faltered in her step, contemplating going after him. It was either that or go to her room and listen to Faith brag about her sexual prowess. Or catch her demonstrating it. Buffy nervously patted her hair and the uniform skirt, frowning. Polyester was so not her fabric.
William already had his nose stuck in a book as she entered the library. The smell of old tomes assaulted her nostrils and Buffy breathed it in. She’d always liked the scent, even if she wasn’t that much into reading. William though, seemed way too absorbed in the book he was reading and didn’t even notice her approach the table he was sitting at.
With a creak of the chair, Buffy sat down and dropped her bag to the floor with a thud. William finally raised his eyes from the book, gazing at her with surprise.
“Hi,” she said and was it just her imagination or did her voice sound breathy?
“H-hi,” he replied, smiling shyly as he self-consciously ran his fingers through his untamed curls. She wanted to be the one doing that for William, but she didn’t think he’d take kindly to that. Then again, maybe he would.
The library was almost empty, just two or three other students milling around, but for Buffy there could have been a marching band going rampant around them and she wouldn’t have noticed. Not when her world was narrowed down to the stormy blue of William’s eyes, sucking her in and making the library around them fade away. Her fingers itched with the need to take off his glasses so she could see him unobstructed.
William shook his head, dazed with the feelings this girl was stirring in him. She had to think he was being completely inappropriate, staring at her like a complete berk. He cleared his throat and blushed.
“Umm… did you come here to… study?” he asked, desperate to cover his embarrassment at being the only one acting like a love struck fool. Why would she want to look at him anyway?
“I… was,” Buffy said with a smile that was far too bright. Luckily William didn’t know her well enough to realize she was lying through her teeth. “History. Yup. All those dates and stuff… very exciting.”
William smiled, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses. “Personally, I think it’s rather boring.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “You do? Thank God… I’d have no idea what to do if you started to talk about… the French Revolution or something.”
He chuckled and her heart swelled in her chest. She should make William do that more often. A girl studying at the nearby table hissed at them to ‘cut the chatter’ and Buffy grinned.
“We should probably leave before they burn us at the stake. Unless you were studying and I was just being rude and almost made them throw you out of the library. I’m sorry-”
“No. I wasn’t… I mean, it was recreational reading, not homework… I-I’d love to go with you,” he said, ducking his head as he gathered his things.
“Okay.”
Buffy smiled and sneaked a glance at him as they walked side by side down the hall, their steps echoing off the wooden floor.
“Would you like to talk… somewhere?” she asked, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear.
William’s heart fluttered at her close proximity and the urge to brush his fingers against hers was almost irresistible.
“Of course I would. Umm… I know of a place, I go there sometimes… to think. I’d like to show you if that’s alright.”
“You’re not going to take me into some super secret underground harem, are you?”
William’s eyes widened and he glanced at her. Seeing the corners of Buffy’s mouth lifted in a teasing smile, he relaxed and smiled in return. “Not at all. Just wait and see. I-I think you’ll like it.”
He led her up the stairs and through numerous corridors before he stopped in front of a door. The wood was worn and scraped by time, the hinges creaked loudly as William pushed it open.
Buffy entered and inspected the spacious room filled with various antiquities. It seemed to be storage of a sort. Brushing her hand across the frames of old paintings half-covered with sheets, she gazed at William’s anxious face.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, staring into his eyes.
The room breathed with forgotten memories, and Buffy blew off the dust covering the ancient books lying on the high wooden shelves. There were all kinds of broken trinkets reflecting the moonlight streaming in through the large windows. The wind wheedled its way past the old window frames and Buffy shivered as she neared the amazing view. She could see the tops of the trees swaying in the night, the lights from the distant houses.
They dropped their bags on the floor. Rubbing her arms, Buffy was startled when something heavy fell onto her shoulders. She turned to look at William whose face was so close to her own she could count his lashes. His hands were resting on her shoulders as he adjusted the jacket he had put on her.
“I could see you were cold,” he whispered to her unasked question, his voice deep and warmer than any jacket he could have given her.
“Thank you,” she said in a silent voice, hesitant to interrupt the magic between them. Her every cell was centered on the weight of his hands radiating heat through the layer of clothing and his eyes were dark with something she couldn’t name. The shadows accentuated his sharp cheekbones and Buffy longed to trace them with her fingertips.
“You’re welcome,” William said with a crooked smile and shifted his attention to his well-worn trainers. He’d never felt this way before. This breathless desire to be so close to someone he wanted to crawl under their skin. His palms tingled as he let his arms fall at his sides. This girl was making him feel as if he couldn’t breathe unless he gazed into her eyes. He burned with the need to touch her, to feel the silk of her cheeks under his hands, the softness of her lips under his own. He blushed and forced himself to take a step away. “I come up here to read, sitting here sometimes… when I’m… lonely.” He pointed to the rocking chair in front of the window.
Buffy gripped the lapels of the jacket, wrapping it tighter it around herself as she breathed in William’s scent. It reminded her of running barefoot on the beach, the ocean waves crashing at her feet as she inhaled the smell of freedom and spring.
Sadness overwhelmed her suddenly and she fought off the impulse to embrace him, just to make the loneliness go away. For both of them. “Do you come here often?”
“Yeah.”
Buffy stepped closer to him. “It means a lot that you showed it to me. It’s… magical.”
William struggled to breathe properly as she closed the distance he had created. Gazing into her eyes, he knew Buffy would make his world come undone. The power she held over him was terrifying. It was madness! This girl that he only met a couple of times was now essential to his life. She brought the light into his darkness, illuminating it with her radiant smile. He was unable to move as she stepped even closer, her breath barely brushing his lips. He was but a helpless moth, drawn to the flame that would burn him to ashes.
“May I?” She touched his glasses. As if he could deny her anything. William nodded, trembling when her fingertips brushed his temples as she took off his glasses. She made him feel alive, as if he was worth her time.
Buffy smiled and hesitantly brushed away the strand of hair that always fell to his forehead. His eyes fluttered shut for just a moment as he soaked up the comfort of her touch. It had been so long since anyone had touched him and he found himself starved for a human contact. His scalp tingled as she raked her fingers through his hair and he couldn’t help but lean into her touch, swaying slightly on his feet. Captivated.
His eyes opened and met hers. Her lashes were long and thick, so dark against her skin. There was such softness in her gaze, such understanding that William’s knees almost buckled. He wanted to fall to his knees and worship her. To beg her not to ever hurt him, give up on him. Instead, he reached out his trembling fingers and caressed the side of her face, watching her carefully for any sign of disgust. Buffy’s eyelashes fluttered, her free hand rising to hold his against her cheek.
Not in his nineteen years, William had never felt this kind of connection, this aching need to simply touch someone. Buffy’s skin was just as soft as he’d imagined it would be. He wondered what her lips would feel like.
Her hand fell away from his and found purchase on his collarbone, stroking it slightly. Making him shiver. The jacket fell from her shoulders, lying in a heap at her feet. Neither of them noticed. William’s hands dropped to her waist and she shuffled closer, the final inches between them disappearing as the length of their bodies met. His heart pounded so hard in his chest, he was sure Buffy had to feel it. He inadvertently licked his lips, sudden burst of passion rushing through his veins as Buffy parted her lips, her eyes trusting and intense, heavy with need William never thought he could inspire. His fingers flexed as he tightened his hold on her, pressing her even closer.
Buffy’s arms snaked around his neck, both of their eyes sliding shut as she rose slightly on her tiptoes. Was he dreaming? Did he merely fall asleep in the library, and all of this was just his wishful thinking? It couldn’t be. Not when his whole body thrummed with tension as she brushed her lips against his cheek, sliding with excruciating slowness towards his parted lips. His fingers stroked her spine and he wished he could freeze the moment.
This aching anticipation.
William could almost taste the ecstasy of Buffy’s lips brushing against his, as light as a flutter of butterfly wings. Her lips whispered against his.
On that cusp of a perfect moment, Buffy’s cell phone burst to life with a shrill ring, breaking them out of their reverie. Resisting the urge to bang his head against the nearest surface, William knew that the spell had been broken.
TBC
Author's note: Thought you'd get to see some smoochies, didn't you? :P
Buffy sat on her bed, tub of first aid healing cream in her lap. “I still don’t see why you would provoke the teacher like that.”
Faith winced as Buffy dabbed the lashes on her hands with the ointment. “He was being a dick.”
After being particularly rude to their physics professor, Faith had been sent to the headmistress. Now Buffy was helping her reduce the sting.
“He really was, but I don’t think it was worth it. They can’t do this to students! You should report it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they would listen to me. Nobody cares, B.”
“But you have proof! And I’m sure someone-”
“I don’t need anyone’s pity. I can take care of myself. Besides this place… it’s not what it seems.” Faith stood up and scowled at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Weird shit happens here, that’s all.”
“Like what?” Faith only shrugged.
“People tried, you know? Calling police, social services and such. They showed up, entered the school but nobody has ever seen them leave. Or so I’ve heard. The only person you can count on is yourself anyway.” Faith picked up her bag and headed out the room with a wave of her hand. “See you later, B.”
*********
Buffy was unable to stop thinking about what Faith had told her before she left for her classes, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched. Could it be that what Buffy felt, the goose bumps rising on her skin as she walked the corridors were not just her imagination? Was there something more… something evil?
You’ve watched one too many movies. There’s no such thing as ghosts or demons.
There had to be a reasonable explanation. Students were just probably thinking up the stories to scare the freshmen. But that didn’t explain why the school hadn’t been closed for the methods they used. Buffy was pretty sure caning was not a suitable educating technique in the twenty-first century. Was there some conspiracy? Did the local authorities ignore the illegal abuse of the students on purpose?
Or was it something else entirely?
********
Seeing William head into the library the next day, Buffy faltered in her step, contemplating going after him. It was either that or go to her room and listen to Faith brag about her sexual prowess. Or catch her demonstrating it. Buffy nervously patted her hair and the uniform skirt, frowning. Polyester was so not her fabric.
William already had his nose stuck in a book as she entered the library. The smell of old tomes assaulted her nostrils and Buffy breathed it in. She’d always liked the scent, even if she wasn’t that much into reading. William though, seemed way too absorbed in the book he was reading and didn’t even notice her approach the table he was sitting at.
With a creak of the chair, Buffy sat down and dropped her bag to the floor with a thud. William finally raised his eyes from the book, gazing at her with surprise.
“Hi,” she said and was it just her imagination or did her voice sound breathy?
“H-hi,” he replied, smiling shyly as he self-consciously ran his fingers through his untamed curls. She wanted to be the one doing that for William, but she didn’t think he’d take kindly to that. Then again, maybe he would.
The library was almost empty, just two or three other students milling around, but for Buffy there could have been a marching band going rampant around them and she wouldn’t have noticed. Not when her world was narrowed down to the stormy blue of William’s eyes, sucking her in and making the library around them fade away. Her fingers itched with the need to take off his glasses so she could see him unobstructed.
William shook his head, dazed with the feelings this girl was stirring in him. She had to think he was being completely inappropriate, staring at her like a complete berk. He cleared his throat and blushed.
“Umm… did you come here to… study?” he asked, desperate to cover his embarrassment at being the only one acting like a love struck fool. Why would she want to look at him anyway?
“I… was,” Buffy said with a smile that was far too bright. Luckily William didn’t know her well enough to realize she was lying through her teeth. “History. Yup. All those dates and stuff… very exciting.”
William smiled, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses. “Personally, I think it’s rather boring.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “You do? Thank God… I’d have no idea what to do if you started to talk about… the French Revolution or something.”
He chuckled and her heart swelled in her chest. She should make William do that more often. A girl studying at the nearby table hissed at them to ‘cut the chatter’ and Buffy grinned.
“We should probably leave before they burn us at the stake. Unless you were studying and I was just being rude and almost made them throw you out of the library. I’m sorry-”
“No. I wasn’t… I mean, it was recreational reading, not homework… I-I’d love to go with you,” he said, ducking his head as he gathered his things.
“Okay.”
Buffy smiled and sneaked a glance at him as they walked side by side down the hall, their steps echoing off the wooden floor.
“Would you like to talk… somewhere?” she asked, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear.
William’s heart fluttered at her close proximity and the urge to brush his fingers against hers was almost irresistible.
“Of course I would. Umm… I know of a place, I go there sometimes… to think. I’d like to show you if that’s alright.”
“You’re not going to take me into some super secret underground harem, are you?”
William’s eyes widened and he glanced at her. Seeing the corners of Buffy’s mouth lifted in a teasing smile, he relaxed and smiled in return. “Not at all. Just wait and see. I-I think you’ll like it.”
He led her up the stairs and through numerous corridors before he stopped in front of a door. The wood was worn and scraped by time, the hinges creaked loudly as William pushed it open.
Buffy entered and inspected the spacious room filled with various antiquities. It seemed to be storage of a sort. Brushing her hand across the frames of old paintings half-covered with sheets, she gazed at William’s anxious face.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, staring into his eyes.
The room breathed with forgotten memories, and Buffy blew off the dust covering the ancient books lying on the high wooden shelves. There were all kinds of broken trinkets reflecting the moonlight streaming in through the large windows. The wind wheedled its way past the old window frames and Buffy shivered as she neared the amazing view. She could see the tops of the trees swaying in the night, the lights from the distant houses.
They dropped their bags on the floor. Rubbing her arms, Buffy was startled when something heavy fell onto her shoulders. She turned to look at William whose face was so close to her own she could count his lashes. His hands were resting on her shoulders as he adjusted the jacket he had put on her.
“I could see you were cold,” he whispered to her unasked question, his voice deep and warmer than any jacket he could have given her.
“Thank you,” she said in a silent voice, hesitant to interrupt the magic between them. Her every cell was centered on the weight of his hands radiating heat through the layer of clothing and his eyes were dark with something she couldn’t name. The shadows accentuated his sharp cheekbones and Buffy longed to trace them with her fingertips.
“You’re welcome,” William said with a crooked smile and shifted his attention to his well-worn trainers. He’d never felt this way before. This breathless desire to be so close to someone he wanted to crawl under their skin. His palms tingled as he let his arms fall at his sides. This girl was making him feel as if he couldn’t breathe unless he gazed into her eyes. He burned with the need to touch her, to feel the silk of her cheeks under his hands, the softness of her lips under his own. He blushed and forced himself to take a step away. “I come up here to read, sitting here sometimes… when I’m… lonely.” He pointed to the rocking chair in front of the window.
Buffy gripped the lapels of the jacket, wrapping it tighter it around herself as she breathed in William’s scent. It reminded her of running barefoot on the beach, the ocean waves crashing at her feet as she inhaled the smell of freedom and spring.
Sadness overwhelmed her suddenly and she fought off the impulse to embrace him, just to make the loneliness go away. For both of them. “Do you come here often?”
“Yeah.”
Buffy stepped closer to him. “It means a lot that you showed it to me. It’s… magical.”
William struggled to breathe properly as she closed the distance he had created. Gazing into her eyes, he knew Buffy would make his world come undone. The power she held over him was terrifying. It was madness! This girl that he only met a couple of times was now essential to his life. She brought the light into his darkness, illuminating it with her radiant smile. He was unable to move as she stepped even closer, her breath barely brushing his lips. He was but a helpless moth, drawn to the flame that would burn him to ashes.
“May I?” She touched his glasses. As if he could deny her anything. William nodded, trembling when her fingertips brushed his temples as she took off his glasses. She made him feel alive, as if he was worth her time.
Buffy smiled and hesitantly brushed away the strand of hair that always fell to his forehead. His eyes fluttered shut for just a moment as he soaked up the comfort of her touch. It had been so long since anyone had touched him and he found himself starved for a human contact. His scalp tingled as she raked her fingers through his hair and he couldn’t help but lean into her touch, swaying slightly on his feet. Captivated.
His eyes opened and met hers. Her lashes were long and thick, so dark against her skin. There was such softness in her gaze, such understanding that William’s knees almost buckled. He wanted to fall to his knees and worship her. To beg her not to ever hurt him, give up on him. Instead, he reached out his trembling fingers and caressed the side of her face, watching her carefully for any sign of disgust. Buffy’s eyelashes fluttered, her free hand rising to hold his against her cheek.
Not in his nineteen years, William had never felt this kind of connection, this aching need to simply touch someone. Buffy’s skin was just as soft as he’d imagined it would be. He wondered what her lips would feel like.
Her hand fell away from his and found purchase on his collarbone, stroking it slightly. Making him shiver. The jacket fell from her shoulders, lying in a heap at her feet. Neither of them noticed. William’s hands dropped to her waist and she shuffled closer, the final inches between them disappearing as the length of their bodies met. His heart pounded so hard in his chest, he was sure Buffy had to feel it. He inadvertently licked his lips, sudden burst of passion rushing through his veins as Buffy parted her lips, her eyes trusting and intense, heavy with need William never thought he could inspire. His fingers flexed as he tightened his hold on her, pressing her even closer.
Buffy’s arms snaked around his neck, both of their eyes sliding shut as she rose slightly on her tiptoes. Was he dreaming? Did he merely fall asleep in the library, and all of this was just his wishful thinking? It couldn’t be. Not when his whole body thrummed with tension as she brushed her lips against his cheek, sliding with excruciating slowness towards his parted lips. His fingers stroked her spine and he wished he could freeze the moment.
This aching anticipation.
William could almost taste the ecstasy of Buffy’s lips brushing against his, as light as a flutter of butterfly wings. Her lips whispered against his.
On that cusp of a perfect moment, Buffy’s cell phone burst to life with a shrill ring, breaking them out of their reverie. Resisting the urge to bang his head against the nearest surface, William knew that the spell had been broken.
TBC
Author's note: Thought you'd get to see some smoochies, didn't you? :P
Chapter four
Author's note: Beta'd by awesome dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
I hope you enjoy, amazing and kind readers! ;)
Chapter 4
The offensive sound shattered the spell they’d been shrouded in. William dropped his arms, feeling almost tangible pangs in his heart, as Buffy stepped away and glanced at him with eyes full of regret. The lack of her nearness made him feel cold.
Picking up the fallen jacket, Buffy slid her arms into it and kneeled to rummage through her bag in the search of the cell phone. Angry with the person interrupting what Buffy was sure would have been the best kiss of her life, she flipped the phone open.
“What?” she asked rudely, rising to her feet. William disappeared somewhere between the shelves, obviously wanting to give her some semblance of privacy.
“Hey, B. How’s it going?”
Buffy suppressed a sigh. “I was fine until you called.”
“Interrupted something?” Faith asked with a sly tone.
“You can say that again.”
“You go, girl! Finally decided to unclench that uptight ass of yours? You can tell me the graphic details later. I sort of have a favour to ask you.”
“What is it?” Buffy didn’t even have the strength to argue with her roommate about her crass comments on Buffy’s virtue.
“I need a room for the night. Got a nice piece of ass waiting for me. Gonna take him for a ride if you know what I mean?” Faith chuckled and Buffy rolled her eyes.
“Where am I supposed to sleep?”
“Well, you can always camp at the guy’s you were molesting a minute ago, can’t you?”
“I wasn’t…” Buffy lowered her voice. “I can’t just ask him to let me sleep in his room. He’ll think I’m a slut.”
Faith just laughed. “You, a slut? Now that’s something I’d like to see. Well you can either stay with him or join the two of us.”
“Ew… no, thanks. You so owe me for this!”
“Thanks, B. Enjoy your night.”
Buffy could almost see the leer.
“Yeah, yeah. Bye.” She flicked the phone closed and slipped it into her bag.
Did Faith have to be such a ho? Now she would have to sleep in an empty class room somewhere. There was no way she could ask William to let her sleep in his room. He probably had a roommate too, and those beds were single, not double. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. She didn’t even have a place to sleep anymore. All of a sudden, Buffy felt miserable.
“Are you alright?” William asked from behind her, and she twirled on her feet. She hadn’t even heard him approach.
“I’m great!” Buffy said with a smile far too bright to be genuine. She couldn’t meet his eyes.
William fidgeted, not knowing if he should call her on it or let it go. Closing the distance between them, he put his hand on her shoulder, slightly squeezing. Buffy glanced up at him then, and William felt his heart painfully constrict in his chest at the sight of her teary eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I… I’m just being stupid.”
“I don’t mean to pry, but… I just… I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”
Suddenly Buffy was in his arms, hugging him with more power that he would have given her credit for. What else could he do but hug her back? Her hair tickled his nose, the scent of cinnamon and sunshine he would never forget enveloped him. It felt like silk beneath his fingertips. Her breath hitched in her throat as she silently cried against his neck, and William had no idea what to do. Her distress caused him almost physical pain, but he was just William. He never did anything right. So he just stood there and held her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his skin. “I d-didn’t mean to get all weepy. You must think I’m crazy.”
“There’s nothing wrong with crying. I just wish… I wish I knew what to do to help you.”
“You’re doing just fine.” Buffy closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. It helped get a grip on her emotions. “I don’t know what came over me. It was just… everything suddenly dawned on me. I have no place to call home.”
“I know how you feel.”
“It was my roommate. The person who called me on the phone.” Would she really be that pathetic and ask him to help her? Could she? What would he think?
“Oh?” William wondered how that could get to her so much. “Is she giving you trouble?”
“Kinda. But it’s not her. Well it is, sort of. She just… she needs the room for the night and I…” She couldn’t go through with this. Not when he was gazing at her with such concern, and she knew he would say yes to anything she asked him. Leaving his warm embrace, Buffy wiped her tears away.
'Stupid pride.'
“She kicked you out of your room?” he asked, outraged at the nerve of the girl.
“It’s not a big deal. I’ll just figure something out.”
“You could… I mean I have… umm… don’t take this the wrong way, but you could stay in my room.”
“You’ve got a roommate, William.”
“Actually, no. I haven’t had one since I arrived six months ago. So I have a spare bed if you’d like to--”
“You wouldn’t mind? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.” Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to let him help her after all. It sounded much better than sleeping in an old creepy classroom. Maybe he could make the loneliness go away for a while.
“Not at all. Only if you want to, that is.” William busied himself with putting on his glasses and picking up his books.
“Thank you. I… I’d love to.”
*******
Buffy followed William into his room, hesitantly crossing the threshold as she glanced around.
“I-I apologize for the mess. Hadn’t expected someone would… make yourself at home.” William nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced at the books that were randomly strewn all around the room. If his mother could see it, she’d have a fit. His shoulders slumped. She would never be able to see anything ever again.
“It’s really not a big deal. It’s super tidy compared to mine and Faith’s room. At least you don’t have any underwear lying around.” Buffy’s eyes widened as soon as she said it. TMI much? “Ehm… not mine… Faith’s underwear. I like to keep mine in the drawers… and I should probably stop talking.”
William smiled. “Please don’t. I find it rather… cute.”
Buffy blushed. “Thanks.”
“Ehm, do sit down. Can I fetch you anything? Water or tea?”
“I’m good, don’t worry. Umm… I feel kinda silly asking this but could you lend me something to sleep in? All my stuff is back at my room and--”
“Of course. No problem. I’ll just…” William walked to his dresser and rummaged through the drawers, pulling out a large dark blue t-shirt and handing it to Buffy. “Here. I…eh…I don’t have any pajama bottoms to give you--”
“You don’t?” Buffy asked, the corners of her mouth lifting at the sight of William’s ears turning pink.
“I sleep… umm… I’m afraid I don’t.” He might as well have told her he liked to sleep naked. She must have thought he was perverse now. William didn’t even know when this habit had started. One day he simply found out it was much more comfortable than having the waistband dig into his hips all night.
Buffy just grinned at him with a lifted eyebrow, obviously enjoying his discomfort, and made her way to the adjacent bathroom. William gulped audibly when she came out, the hem of the fabric brushing her upper thighs. He forced himself to look away, but the image of Buffy dressed in his t-shirt was burned into his brain. The thought of her wearing something that belonged to him, the fact that the t-shirt he’d worn was right now touching her skin stirred something primal within him. William stood up and rushed to the bathroom, ready to splash his burning face with cold water.
When William came out, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers, he came face to face with a frowning Buffy. He couldn’t help but notice how her hair shone in the moonlight.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing! I was just wondering if you had an extra comforter.” Buffy fidgeted with the hem of the t-shirt as she sat down on the bed.
“Oh. I didn’t think of that. You can take mine,” he said with a smile, gathering the comforter and the pillow in his arms and putting it next to Buffy.
“No…. it’s really not necessary. I already feel bad enough for imposing in on you like this--”
“You’re not!” William glanced at his feet. “It’s nice… having someone to talk to.”
“It is.” Buffy met his eyes, both of them smiling shyly. “But I insist, I can’t take your blanket. You’re going to get cold--”
“I’d rather be cold than think about you being uncomfortable all night. Please, take it. I mean it.”
“Okay. Thank you… you’re… I owe you.”
“Yeah well… you can make it up to me some day.” William grinned, surprised at his boldness as he lay down on his bed, covering himself with a thin sheet.
“I just might.” Buffy winked at him and snuggled under the covers that smelt like William. He turned off the light and she heard the bed squeak as he tossed around to find a comfortable position.
“Buffy?”
“Hmm?”
“Earlier… why did you… I mean did you mean to… kiss me?” His heart thudded so loudly he could feel it pounding in his ears. Would she deny it and laugh at his presumptuous thoughts? Perhaps send him a glare full of disgust? But she wouldn’t, would she? Not Buffy. She wasn’t Cecily, so cold and careless about other people’s feelings. No, Buffy was the only person that cared enough to listen to him.
“I did. Did you not want me to? I thought you did, but… Oh my God I haven’t forced myself on you, have I? I thought it was all consensual--”
“It was! I just… why? Why would you even… want to?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Buffy was puzzled. Did William really have such a low opinion of himself? It hurt her to think about how truly alone he must have been until the day she’d found him in that empty classroom. He didn’t even have a roommate, and while Faith could be truly annoying, it was better than to be alone.
“I just don’t understand why you talk to me. Why you want to… touch me and listen to me. I’m not worth it.”
Buffy could see William’s profile as he lay on his back, the moonlight filtering through the blinds covering the window above his bed’s headboard. His eyes were squeezed shut.
“Who told you that? You are worth it, William. I haven’t known you that long but I… I care about you.”
“Nobody has ever… not in so long. I don’t deserve you.”
“Stop saying that! Please. Is it your parents? Are they--”
“I don’t have parents,” he whispered. “I live with my uncle, but he… he couldn’t care less if I live or die.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to--”
“No, it’s alright. I mean… no, it’s not, but… I had a mum, you know. She was a nice lady. Gentle. She loved it when I would read her my poems; always listened to me. I-I loved her. Very much.”
Buffy could see a tear roll down his temple, and she had a fierce urge to take him into her arms. “What happened to her?”
“She had… lung cancer.”
Seeing him gripping the sheet tightly in his hand, Buffy didn’t think. She simply stood, picked up the comforter and pillow, and made her way to his bed. William opened his eyes to glance at her, the intense longing for comfort in his gaze dispelling her fears. She laid down next to him, covering them with the blanket as she brushed the tears away, her fingers lingering to stroke his cheeks. William turned on his side and let Buffy take him into her arms, burying his face against her throat.
“It’s going to be alright,” she whispered, pressing a kiss on the top of his head.
“It is… now that you’re here.”
Together, they fell into an exhausted slumber, not knowing how bad things were soon going to get.
TBC
I hope you enjoy, amazing and kind readers! ;)
Chapter 4
The offensive sound shattered the spell they’d been shrouded in. William dropped his arms, feeling almost tangible pangs in his heart, as Buffy stepped away and glanced at him with eyes full of regret. The lack of her nearness made him feel cold.
Picking up the fallen jacket, Buffy slid her arms into it and kneeled to rummage through her bag in the search of the cell phone. Angry with the person interrupting what Buffy was sure would have been the best kiss of her life, she flipped the phone open.
“What?” she asked rudely, rising to her feet. William disappeared somewhere between the shelves, obviously wanting to give her some semblance of privacy.
“Hey, B. How’s it going?”
Buffy suppressed a sigh. “I was fine until you called.”
“Interrupted something?” Faith asked with a sly tone.
“You can say that again.”
“You go, girl! Finally decided to unclench that uptight ass of yours? You can tell me the graphic details later. I sort of have a favour to ask you.”
“What is it?” Buffy didn’t even have the strength to argue with her roommate about her crass comments on Buffy’s virtue.
“I need a room for the night. Got a nice piece of ass waiting for me. Gonna take him for a ride if you know what I mean?” Faith chuckled and Buffy rolled her eyes.
“Where am I supposed to sleep?”
“Well, you can always camp at the guy’s you were molesting a minute ago, can’t you?”
“I wasn’t…” Buffy lowered her voice. “I can’t just ask him to let me sleep in his room. He’ll think I’m a slut.”
Faith just laughed. “You, a slut? Now that’s something I’d like to see. Well you can either stay with him or join the two of us.”
“Ew… no, thanks. You so owe me for this!”
“Thanks, B. Enjoy your night.”
Buffy could almost see the leer.
“Yeah, yeah. Bye.” She flicked the phone closed and slipped it into her bag.
Did Faith have to be such a ho? Now she would have to sleep in an empty class room somewhere. There was no way she could ask William to let her sleep in his room. He probably had a roommate too, and those beds were single, not double. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. She didn’t even have a place to sleep anymore. All of a sudden, Buffy felt miserable.
“Are you alright?” William asked from behind her, and she twirled on her feet. She hadn’t even heard him approach.
“I’m great!” Buffy said with a smile far too bright to be genuine. She couldn’t meet his eyes.
William fidgeted, not knowing if he should call her on it or let it go. Closing the distance between them, he put his hand on her shoulder, slightly squeezing. Buffy glanced up at him then, and William felt his heart painfully constrict in his chest at the sight of her teary eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I… I’m just being stupid.”
“I don’t mean to pry, but… I just… I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”
Suddenly Buffy was in his arms, hugging him with more power that he would have given her credit for. What else could he do but hug her back? Her hair tickled his nose, the scent of cinnamon and sunshine he would never forget enveloped him. It felt like silk beneath his fingertips. Her breath hitched in her throat as she silently cried against his neck, and William had no idea what to do. Her distress caused him almost physical pain, but he was just William. He never did anything right. So he just stood there and held her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his skin. “I d-didn’t mean to get all weepy. You must think I’m crazy.”
“There’s nothing wrong with crying. I just wish… I wish I knew what to do to help you.”
“You’re doing just fine.” Buffy closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. It helped get a grip on her emotions. “I don’t know what came over me. It was just… everything suddenly dawned on me. I have no place to call home.”
“I know how you feel.”
“It was my roommate. The person who called me on the phone.” Would she really be that pathetic and ask him to help her? Could she? What would he think?
“Oh?” William wondered how that could get to her so much. “Is she giving you trouble?”
“Kinda. But it’s not her. Well it is, sort of. She just… she needs the room for the night and I…” She couldn’t go through with this. Not when he was gazing at her with such concern, and she knew he would say yes to anything she asked him. Leaving his warm embrace, Buffy wiped her tears away.
'Stupid pride.'
“She kicked you out of your room?” he asked, outraged at the nerve of the girl.
“It’s not a big deal. I’ll just figure something out.”
“You could… I mean I have… umm… don’t take this the wrong way, but you could stay in my room.”
“You’ve got a roommate, William.”
“Actually, no. I haven’t had one since I arrived six months ago. So I have a spare bed if you’d like to--”
“You wouldn’t mind? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.” Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to let him help her after all. It sounded much better than sleeping in an old creepy classroom. Maybe he could make the loneliness go away for a while.
“Not at all. Only if you want to, that is.” William busied himself with putting on his glasses and picking up his books.
“Thank you. I… I’d love to.”
*******
Buffy followed William into his room, hesitantly crossing the threshold as she glanced around.
“I-I apologize for the mess. Hadn’t expected someone would… make yourself at home.” William nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced at the books that were randomly strewn all around the room. If his mother could see it, she’d have a fit. His shoulders slumped. She would never be able to see anything ever again.
“It’s really not a big deal. It’s super tidy compared to mine and Faith’s room. At least you don’t have any underwear lying around.” Buffy’s eyes widened as soon as she said it. TMI much? “Ehm… not mine… Faith’s underwear. I like to keep mine in the drawers… and I should probably stop talking.”
William smiled. “Please don’t. I find it rather… cute.”
Buffy blushed. “Thanks.”
“Ehm, do sit down. Can I fetch you anything? Water or tea?”
“I’m good, don’t worry. Umm… I feel kinda silly asking this but could you lend me something to sleep in? All my stuff is back at my room and--”
“Of course. No problem. I’ll just…” William walked to his dresser and rummaged through the drawers, pulling out a large dark blue t-shirt and handing it to Buffy. “Here. I…eh…I don’t have any pajama bottoms to give you--”
“You don’t?” Buffy asked, the corners of her mouth lifting at the sight of William’s ears turning pink.
“I sleep… umm… I’m afraid I don’t.” He might as well have told her he liked to sleep naked. She must have thought he was perverse now. William didn’t even know when this habit had started. One day he simply found out it was much more comfortable than having the waistband dig into his hips all night.
Buffy just grinned at him with a lifted eyebrow, obviously enjoying his discomfort, and made her way to the adjacent bathroom. William gulped audibly when she came out, the hem of the fabric brushing her upper thighs. He forced himself to look away, but the image of Buffy dressed in his t-shirt was burned into his brain. The thought of her wearing something that belonged to him, the fact that the t-shirt he’d worn was right now touching her skin stirred something primal within him. William stood up and rushed to the bathroom, ready to splash his burning face with cold water.
When William came out, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers, he came face to face with a frowning Buffy. He couldn’t help but notice how her hair shone in the moonlight.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing! I was just wondering if you had an extra comforter.” Buffy fidgeted with the hem of the t-shirt as she sat down on the bed.
“Oh. I didn’t think of that. You can take mine,” he said with a smile, gathering the comforter and the pillow in his arms and putting it next to Buffy.
“No…. it’s really not necessary. I already feel bad enough for imposing in on you like this--”
“You’re not!” William glanced at his feet. “It’s nice… having someone to talk to.”
“It is.” Buffy met his eyes, both of them smiling shyly. “But I insist, I can’t take your blanket. You’re going to get cold--”
“I’d rather be cold than think about you being uncomfortable all night. Please, take it. I mean it.”
“Okay. Thank you… you’re… I owe you.”
“Yeah well… you can make it up to me some day.” William grinned, surprised at his boldness as he lay down on his bed, covering himself with a thin sheet.
“I just might.” Buffy winked at him and snuggled under the covers that smelt like William. He turned off the light and she heard the bed squeak as he tossed around to find a comfortable position.
“Buffy?”
“Hmm?”
“Earlier… why did you… I mean did you mean to… kiss me?” His heart thudded so loudly he could feel it pounding in his ears. Would she deny it and laugh at his presumptuous thoughts? Perhaps send him a glare full of disgust? But she wouldn’t, would she? Not Buffy. She wasn’t Cecily, so cold and careless about other people’s feelings. No, Buffy was the only person that cared enough to listen to him.
“I did. Did you not want me to? I thought you did, but… Oh my God I haven’t forced myself on you, have I? I thought it was all consensual--”
“It was! I just… why? Why would you even… want to?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Buffy was puzzled. Did William really have such a low opinion of himself? It hurt her to think about how truly alone he must have been until the day she’d found him in that empty classroom. He didn’t even have a roommate, and while Faith could be truly annoying, it was better than to be alone.
“I just don’t understand why you talk to me. Why you want to… touch me and listen to me. I’m not worth it.”
Buffy could see William’s profile as he lay on his back, the moonlight filtering through the blinds covering the window above his bed’s headboard. His eyes were squeezed shut.
“Who told you that? You are worth it, William. I haven’t known you that long but I… I care about you.”
“Nobody has ever… not in so long. I don’t deserve you.”
“Stop saying that! Please. Is it your parents? Are they--”
“I don’t have parents,” he whispered. “I live with my uncle, but he… he couldn’t care less if I live or die.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to--”
“No, it’s alright. I mean… no, it’s not, but… I had a mum, you know. She was a nice lady. Gentle. She loved it when I would read her my poems; always listened to me. I-I loved her. Very much.”
Buffy could see a tear roll down his temple, and she had a fierce urge to take him into her arms. “What happened to her?”
“She had… lung cancer.”
Seeing him gripping the sheet tightly in his hand, Buffy didn’t think. She simply stood, picked up the comforter and pillow, and made her way to his bed. William opened his eyes to glance at her, the intense longing for comfort in his gaze dispelling her fears. She laid down next to him, covering them with the blanket as she brushed the tears away, her fingers lingering to stroke his cheeks. William turned on his side and let Buffy take him into her arms, burying his face against her throat.
“It’s going to be alright,” she whispered, pressing a kiss on the top of his head.
“It is… now that you’re here.”
Together, they fell into an exhausted slumber, not knowing how bad things were soon going to get.
TBC
Chapter five
Chapter 5
Sallie Bennett paced around her office as she did on many nights such as these. The sun had set hours ago, and dark clouds rolled across the sky like angry beasts. She glanced at the big mantle clock with her stomach churning in anticipation, the seconds ticking away far too slowly.
'Just a minute towards midnight now.'
Her lips thinned as she nervously adjusted the collar of her shirt. She’d been in the charge of this school since the very beginning in 1869. Times had been different then but one thing had always stayed the same: she abhorred the children with her very shriveled yet still beating heart. She had no time for guilt or shame. Getting rid of the ungrateful brats was the biggest favour she could do for the world. They wouldn’t be missed anyway--the rejects and spoilt children whose parents couldn’t stand to be around.
A slight rumbling alerted Sallie to the presence of her guest. The big bulky presence stood out amongst her obsessively ordered office. She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the sulfur odor the beast emanated.
“Have you come to collect your sacrifice?” she said. “You’re early, Hermes. Not that I care.”
The beast smirked, brushing off his chest and horns as he transformed into a handsome man right before her eyes. The ash fluttered to Sallie’s clean beige carpet, and she narrowed her eyes.
“No. Not yet. ” Hermes’s black eyes twinkled as he caressed the lapels of his tailored suit.
“Why the early call then?” she asked, curious now. Surely their agreement still stood?
“Don’t you worry, Miss Bennett. I wouldn’t deprive you of your immortality. Selling one’s soul does give you a privilege of eternal life after all. But-”
“No but. We have an agreement. A contract. You know as well as I do that you can’t break it. You receive two children a year to take to Hell with you, and I get another year of being alive. That was the deal.” Her fists clenched with the urge to take her cane into her hands. Not that it would do much good on a servant from Hell.
“No need to get fretful, Sallie. I hold the end of my bargain. I’ve heard there were problems though. Students calling authorities for inappropriate… educating methods.”
“I’ve dealt with them,” she said with a contemptuous glare.
“I wonder how you manage to hide the corpses. They seem to be piling up. You’re drawing too much attention.”
“I’m just giving the unruly students what they deserve. Is that why you’re here? To reprimand me?”
“Yes and no. I don’t need the Council catching a whiff of the unusual disappearances and connecting the dots, which might happen if you don’t stop fooling around with that cane of yours. And I came to let you know, I’ll come for my sacrifice next week…there’s someone specific I want to take with me.”
*******
Something was tickling his neck. William fought to open his eyes and glanced down. The first rays of sun penetrated the blinds, bathing the girl in his arms in a golden hue. He hadn’t slept so peacefully in a long time, and he had no idea how he would ever rest again without Buffy’s hair and breath brushing against his skin. William let the luxurious feeling spread through his every muscle. One lazy glance at the alarm clock told him it was still early, and there was no need to get ready to go to classes since it was Saturday, but he was reluctant to doze off again.
Buffy was snuggled to his side, her head resting in the crook of his neck, and William gently stroked her back beneath the blanket. She shifted against him, her light purr making him shiver. Then she tightened his hold on him and yawned.
“Mmm, you’re awake,” she murmured into his neck.
“Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“You didn’t.”
William made a move to get up and noticed her pout. “Where are you going? Is it the time for classes yet?”
He chuckled slightly. “It’s weekend.”
“Yay!” Buffy sat up and patted her hair, wrinkling her nose at the nest she found on her head. “Bed hair… not as sexy as they make it look like in the movies.”
“Dunno. I find it quite sexy,” he said with a shy smile and headed to the bathroom to clean up before she could reply.
After they had brushed their teeth, Buffy sat on the bed next to William, both of them still in their pajamas.
“Umm… it’s only eight o’clock,” she remarked. “Way too early to be up yet.”
“Wanna sleep in?” he asked with a hopeful expression.
“God yes!” She let out a laugh and blushed. “Would you mind if I… if I stayed in your bed… with you in it?”
William gulped. “T-that would be great.”
They lay down, assuming their previous position with the ease of an old married couple before William covered them with the comforter.
“You’re comfy. So much better than hugging my pillow,” Buffy said with her eyes closed.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Are you teasing me?”
“Maybe.” He grinned and stroked her hair with deliberate caresses.
“I like it when you play with my hair.” She made that purring sound again that made William melt and ache for something more at the same time.
“You have beautiful hair… like sunshine. You smell like it too…sunshine and cinnamon.”
“I do? Nobody has ever told me that.” Buffy was suddenly hungry to know what she was like. Who was Buffy Summers through the eyes of William? What was she like to talk to, to look at, to hold?
“Everything about you is… beautiful.” She gazed up at him with eyes that held no reprimand for giving her a compliment, for expressing his feelings. On the contrary, Buffy seemed to want to know what he thought of her. The poetry he swore would never again pass his lips burned on the tip of his tongue. “When I see you, when you smile… it’s like stepping into the warmth of a sunray. You’re so… radiant. Looking into your eyes, I can feel your heart… you’re so kind, so good it makes me want to be someone better too.”
'For you.'
He didn’t say that out loud of course. They barely knew each other, but at the same time it felt like it had always been this way. This connection they shared. Nobody had ever been able to give him the courage to let all the barriers fall away and let them see him. Whatever he’d felt for Cecily was insignificant and shallow compared to what a single smile from Buffy evoked in his very soul.
“Is that what you see me like?” she whispered, scooting upward in his arms.
William turned on his side to face her. “I’m not good with words, but… when you look at me like this, it feels like I’m drowning… and I don’t wish to be saved.”
“I’d like to tell you too… what you make me feel, but I’m not very good with words. I want to say something and it always comes out wrong. I want you to know though… you’re the only reason I smile here. That means… you don’t know how much that means to me.”
“Buffy…”
“Shh, just let me… show you.” Buffy gazed into his eyes, so full of innocence and desire it made her tremble. She caressed the side of his face, both of their eyes fluttering shut as their faces got closer, noses brushing. William encircled her waist and their legs tangled. William’s heart had never pounded so furiously; he’d never experienced such a heady mix of nerves and excitement.
Her breath caressed his slightly parted lips and then everything ceased to exist. There was nothing beyond the ecstasy of her soft lips brushing his, the minty taste of their mingled breath, the pure excitement of kissing her. Buffy’s lips danced against his in a perfect symphony. Getting bolder, William suckled her upper lip into his mouth, shivering at her soft moan. It couldn’t possibly get better than this. Then Buffy parted his unresisting lips with the tip of her tongue and he was lost. Moving against him, her t-shirt slipped above her hips, and William caressed the heated skin of her lower back with his fingertips.
There was no hurry, and they kissed slowly, languidly. William met her tongue with his and she rolled on her back, bringing him atop her. Her hands sneaked beneath his t-shirt, lightly scratching his back. Their lips fused together in unhurried intensity while William lay cradled between her thighs. He’d never felt anything so perfect.
Pressing a final kiss on Buffy’s lips, he rested his forehead against hers as they inhaled some much needed oxygen. Unable to help himself, William nibbled on her jaw and peppered gentle kisses to her neck before finally resting his forehead on Buffy’s shoulder.
Buffy breathed heavily, her brain turned into mush. Nobody had ever kissed her like this. With such an ardent natural sensuality. Like she was the only thing that mattered and his whole existence depended on the feel of her lips against his. She’d only kissed one boy before this, but it beyond paled in comparison. It had felt wrong; sloppy and uncomfortable. But one kiss from William and Buffy’s whole world had been rebuilt. She craved his lips as soon as they parted from hers.
“Was it okay?” he asked hesitantly. “Did you… enjoy it?”
Buffy struggled to form a coherent thought. How could he possibly doubt how amazing he was? “It was… the most perfect experience of my life.”
“You’re not just saying that?”
“It was…”
William gazed up at her, surprised to see her blushing. Perhaps Buffy too had felt what he had. Like they were made for each other.
“I’ve never felt anything like that,” she finished then averted her gaze. “You liked it too, didn’t you?”
“I’ve never known something could feel like this,” he confessed with a shy smile, kissing her neck as she raked her fingers through his curls. “I think I’m addicted to you.”
“Oh yeah. If I could, I’d spend the rest of my life attached to your lips.” Buffy’s eyes widened at what she said and William laughed. “Why did I learn how to talk?”
He rolled them over to keep from squishing her, and Buffy rested her head on his chest, hiding her burning cheeks.
“God, you’re so amazing.” William stared at her in awe. “How did I get so lucky?”
“Maybe it’s destiny.”
TBC
Author's note: Happy Easter to everyone! :D
Sallie Bennett paced around her office as she did on many nights such as these. The sun had set hours ago, and dark clouds rolled across the sky like angry beasts. She glanced at the big mantle clock with her stomach churning in anticipation, the seconds ticking away far too slowly.
'Just a minute towards midnight now.'
Her lips thinned as she nervously adjusted the collar of her shirt. She’d been in the charge of this school since the very beginning in 1869. Times had been different then but one thing had always stayed the same: she abhorred the children with her very shriveled yet still beating heart. She had no time for guilt or shame. Getting rid of the ungrateful brats was the biggest favour she could do for the world. They wouldn’t be missed anyway--the rejects and spoilt children whose parents couldn’t stand to be around.
A slight rumbling alerted Sallie to the presence of her guest. The big bulky presence stood out amongst her obsessively ordered office. She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the sulfur odor the beast emanated.
“Have you come to collect your sacrifice?” she said. “You’re early, Hermes. Not that I care.”
The beast smirked, brushing off his chest and horns as he transformed into a handsome man right before her eyes. The ash fluttered to Sallie’s clean beige carpet, and she narrowed her eyes.
“No. Not yet. ” Hermes’s black eyes twinkled as he caressed the lapels of his tailored suit.
“Why the early call then?” she asked, curious now. Surely their agreement still stood?
“Don’t you worry, Miss Bennett. I wouldn’t deprive you of your immortality. Selling one’s soul does give you a privilege of eternal life after all. But-”
“No but. We have an agreement. A contract. You know as well as I do that you can’t break it. You receive two children a year to take to Hell with you, and I get another year of being alive. That was the deal.” Her fists clenched with the urge to take her cane into her hands. Not that it would do much good on a servant from Hell.
“No need to get fretful, Sallie. I hold the end of my bargain. I’ve heard there were problems though. Students calling authorities for inappropriate… educating methods.”
“I’ve dealt with them,” she said with a contemptuous glare.
“I wonder how you manage to hide the corpses. They seem to be piling up. You’re drawing too much attention.”
“I’m just giving the unruly students what they deserve. Is that why you’re here? To reprimand me?”
“Yes and no. I don’t need the Council catching a whiff of the unusual disappearances and connecting the dots, which might happen if you don’t stop fooling around with that cane of yours. And I came to let you know, I’ll come for my sacrifice next week…there’s someone specific I want to take with me.”
*******
Something was tickling his neck. William fought to open his eyes and glanced down. The first rays of sun penetrated the blinds, bathing the girl in his arms in a golden hue. He hadn’t slept so peacefully in a long time, and he had no idea how he would ever rest again without Buffy’s hair and breath brushing against his skin. William let the luxurious feeling spread through his every muscle. One lazy glance at the alarm clock told him it was still early, and there was no need to get ready to go to classes since it was Saturday, but he was reluctant to doze off again.
Buffy was snuggled to his side, her head resting in the crook of his neck, and William gently stroked her back beneath the blanket. She shifted against him, her light purr making him shiver. Then she tightened his hold on him and yawned.
“Mmm, you’re awake,” she murmured into his neck.
“Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“You didn’t.”
William made a move to get up and noticed her pout. “Where are you going? Is it the time for classes yet?”
He chuckled slightly. “It’s weekend.”
“Yay!” Buffy sat up and patted her hair, wrinkling her nose at the nest she found on her head. “Bed hair… not as sexy as they make it look like in the movies.”
“Dunno. I find it quite sexy,” he said with a shy smile and headed to the bathroom to clean up before she could reply.
After they had brushed their teeth, Buffy sat on the bed next to William, both of them still in their pajamas.
“Umm… it’s only eight o’clock,” she remarked. “Way too early to be up yet.”
“Wanna sleep in?” he asked with a hopeful expression.
“God yes!” She let out a laugh and blushed. “Would you mind if I… if I stayed in your bed… with you in it?”
William gulped. “T-that would be great.”
They lay down, assuming their previous position with the ease of an old married couple before William covered them with the comforter.
“You’re comfy. So much better than hugging my pillow,” Buffy said with her eyes closed.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Are you teasing me?”
“Maybe.” He grinned and stroked her hair with deliberate caresses.
“I like it when you play with my hair.” She made that purring sound again that made William melt and ache for something more at the same time.
“You have beautiful hair… like sunshine. You smell like it too…sunshine and cinnamon.”
“I do? Nobody has ever told me that.” Buffy was suddenly hungry to know what she was like. Who was Buffy Summers through the eyes of William? What was she like to talk to, to look at, to hold?
“Everything about you is… beautiful.” She gazed up at him with eyes that held no reprimand for giving her a compliment, for expressing his feelings. On the contrary, Buffy seemed to want to know what he thought of her. The poetry he swore would never again pass his lips burned on the tip of his tongue. “When I see you, when you smile… it’s like stepping into the warmth of a sunray. You’re so… radiant. Looking into your eyes, I can feel your heart… you’re so kind, so good it makes me want to be someone better too.”
'For you.'
He didn’t say that out loud of course. They barely knew each other, but at the same time it felt like it had always been this way. This connection they shared. Nobody had ever been able to give him the courage to let all the barriers fall away and let them see him. Whatever he’d felt for Cecily was insignificant and shallow compared to what a single smile from Buffy evoked in his very soul.
“Is that what you see me like?” she whispered, scooting upward in his arms.
William turned on his side to face her. “I’m not good with words, but… when you look at me like this, it feels like I’m drowning… and I don’t wish to be saved.”
“I’d like to tell you too… what you make me feel, but I’m not very good with words. I want to say something and it always comes out wrong. I want you to know though… you’re the only reason I smile here. That means… you don’t know how much that means to me.”
“Buffy…”
“Shh, just let me… show you.” Buffy gazed into his eyes, so full of innocence and desire it made her tremble. She caressed the side of his face, both of their eyes fluttering shut as their faces got closer, noses brushing. William encircled her waist and their legs tangled. William’s heart had never pounded so furiously; he’d never experienced such a heady mix of nerves and excitement.
Her breath caressed his slightly parted lips and then everything ceased to exist. There was nothing beyond the ecstasy of her soft lips brushing his, the minty taste of their mingled breath, the pure excitement of kissing her. Buffy’s lips danced against his in a perfect symphony. Getting bolder, William suckled her upper lip into his mouth, shivering at her soft moan. It couldn’t possibly get better than this. Then Buffy parted his unresisting lips with the tip of her tongue and he was lost. Moving against him, her t-shirt slipped above her hips, and William caressed the heated skin of her lower back with his fingertips.
There was no hurry, and they kissed slowly, languidly. William met her tongue with his and she rolled on her back, bringing him atop her. Her hands sneaked beneath his t-shirt, lightly scratching his back. Their lips fused together in unhurried intensity while William lay cradled between her thighs. He’d never felt anything so perfect.
Pressing a final kiss on Buffy’s lips, he rested his forehead against hers as they inhaled some much needed oxygen. Unable to help himself, William nibbled on her jaw and peppered gentle kisses to her neck before finally resting his forehead on Buffy’s shoulder.
Buffy breathed heavily, her brain turned into mush. Nobody had ever kissed her like this. With such an ardent natural sensuality. Like she was the only thing that mattered and his whole existence depended on the feel of her lips against his. She’d only kissed one boy before this, but it beyond paled in comparison. It had felt wrong; sloppy and uncomfortable. But one kiss from William and Buffy’s whole world had been rebuilt. She craved his lips as soon as they parted from hers.
“Was it okay?” he asked hesitantly. “Did you… enjoy it?”
Buffy struggled to form a coherent thought. How could he possibly doubt how amazing he was? “It was… the most perfect experience of my life.”
“You’re not just saying that?”
“It was…”
William gazed up at her, surprised to see her blushing. Perhaps Buffy too had felt what he had. Like they were made for each other.
“I’ve never felt anything like that,” she finished then averted her gaze. “You liked it too, didn’t you?”
“I’ve never known something could feel like this,” he confessed with a shy smile, kissing her neck as she raked her fingers through his curls. “I think I’m addicted to you.”
“Oh yeah. If I could, I’d spend the rest of my life attached to your lips.” Buffy’s eyes widened at what she said and William laughed. “Why did I learn how to talk?”
He rolled them over to keep from squishing her, and Buffy rested her head on his chest, hiding her burning cheeks.
“God, you’re so amazing.” William stared at her in awe. “How did I get so lucky?”
“Maybe it’s destiny.”
TBC
Author's note: Happy Easter to everyone! :D
Chapter six
Author's note: Enjoy, scrumptious readers. ;)
Beta'd by talented dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Chapter 6
Buffy stared out the classroom’s window, the teacher’s droning voice but a background noise. The sun was shining today, the rays chasing away the scattered clouds. When she was a child she used to just lie on the ground in the backyard and stare at the sky, tracing the distant clouds with the tip of her forefinger, making up the names for each of them. She loved it. The feeling of being so small against the vast overwhelming solidity of the universe, knowing with such certainty that there had to be something bigger, something powerful guiding her every move. It felt safe. Knowing that she had a path she was supposed to follow.
Then her parents got divorced and they moved away to Sunnydale. Buffy couldn’t find it in herself to care about social status when everything she knew to be safe and true kept crumbling beneath her feet. Anything she dared to put hope in drifting away like a puff of smoke. She had been so alone up until the point she met William. Wonderful, shy, mysterious William. He was so different from her and at the same time so alike, yearning for someone to chase the loneliness away. Hesitant to let anyone in.
They had spent the whole weekend just talking, lips stealing kisses in between, innocent caresses making her blood boil and rush. Buffy found herself always craving to touch William in some manner. She loved raking her fingers through his thick hair. Felt her heart swell when his eyelashes fluttered and how his lips parted as she kissed a spot just beneath his jaw. He talked of his mother, of what his life had been like after she passed away, his eyes heavy with a sadness Buffy wanted to erase.
The girl sitting next to her--whose name Buffy couldn’t recall--poked her in the ribs with her elbow, and Buffy’s attention snapped back to the teacher just as he glanced at her with a suspicious expression. She remained neutral, not averting her eyes from the teacher’s probing gaze. He turned back to the board again, his voice lulling her to daydream again. She stopped herself, unwilling to face the headmistress for being inattentive in class.
That woman wigged her out.
*******
After the last class, William sat in the library, immersed in poetry. His heart soared, blood singing in his veins as it always did when he got lost in the world where emotions lived and breathed even though its creator had been long dead . He wished he could wield the words in such fashion, so fluid and beautiful. Whenever he tried to voice his feelings, he sounded nothing but clumsy.
Pushing the book away, he sighed and took off his glasses, rubbing his tired eyes with the palms of his hands before placing them back again. He didn’t even need the glasses for anything but reading; still he wore them everywhere he went. They were a safety blanket that offered him the chance to hide his eyes. Just like the ridiculous hair that kept falling into his forehead. William liked it that way. It prevented people from seeing into him. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, doing nothing but offering it to be crushed, to be broken into shards that would cut his insides. His mother had always told him gazing into his eyes; one could catch a glimpse of his soul.
Warm little hands suddenly covered his eyes and William almost jumped in his seat.
“I knew I’d find you here. Don’t your eyes hurt from all the reading?”
“A little bit,” he admitted.
“Here, I’ll make it better.” Buffy smiled and took off his glasses. She had a habit of doing that every time they were together. It left him feeling vulnerable when she gazed into his eyes like that. Drinking him in for all he was. How could she not find him lacking? She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his brow, lingering for a few wonderful seconds.
“Mmm, much better,” he murmured.
“I’m not finished.” She winked at him and lifted her fingers to gently massage his temples. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment. When Buffy touched him like he mattered, it stirred a need so powerful in William he wanted to both turn away and let it drown him.
“It feels brilliant.”
“Just call me magician Buffy.”
He opened his eyes and bit his lip before circling her wrist with his fingers and kissing her palm. “Thank you. I could have you do that to me every day… magician Buffy.”
She poked out her tongue at him, leaving him momentarily dazed from the sight. His mind immediately ventured down the path of what it felt like to twine his own tongue against hers.
“And I’d be happy to, but only if you scratch my back,” Buffy said.
“Anything you want. You know I can’t deny you anything.”
“Oh yes. You’re the best! I officially declare you my personal scratcher slash the best kisser ever.”
William grinned. “Been called worse. And I promise my unending dedication to both tasks.”
Didn’t she know he was already her slave, willing to crash to his knees and do anything she asked of him? It scared him sometimes, the magnitude of passion dwelling in his heart. The intensity of his feelings would surely bring him to destruction. Condemn him to love so much without it ever being returned. Once Buffy saw how much he yearned for her affection, it would scare her away. Wouldn’t it?
She graced him with a breathtaking smile and took his hand. “Want to come with me somewhere?”
His heart fluttered at her question.
'I’d go anywhere with you. I’d follow you to the bowels of Hell if I had to.'
“Alright,” William said and the hand slipped away. He missed the contact already. “Just let me gather my things.”
“Bookworm.”
William shrugged and returned her smile as he put the books into his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Buffy glanced at him seductively as she headed out of the library. Hopeless to do anything else, he followed.
*******
“Where are we going?” he asked, relishing the feel of her palm rubbing intimately against his.
“Hmm… oh, here’s great, I think.”
William glanced around the empty corridor and his brow furrowed when Buffy let go of his hand in order to peek into what seem like a janitor’s closet. Then she smiled at him, eyes dancing in mischief and tugged at his tie to pull him in.
His breath quickened as she rested her palms on his chest and pulled the door closed before she pushed him against it with a wicked gleam in her gaze. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” she said.
William gulped.
“Ehm… to close yourself in a room full of cobwebs and detergent?”
She giggled and pressed herself against him, kissing his neck. His arms wound against Buffy’s waist. “Not exactly. More like, molest my boyfriend in a dark closet.”
William’s heart melted even as the temperature in the small room suddenly seemed to get much higher due to her teasing kisses on the sensitive skin beneath his jaw. “I-I’m your… boyfriend?”
“Only if you want to. Do you? I mean, want to?”
“Bloody hell, yes!”
Buffy giggled again, the sound he loved so much making the butterflies in his stomach flap their wings even faster as he blushed at his too eager response.
“I had no idea you even knew that term.” Her hands stroked his heaving chest as she rose on her tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss on his mouth. “Now, less talky and more kissy.”
William grinned against her mouth. “Your wish is my command.”
“Always such a gentleman,” Buffy said, though there was nothing gentlemanly about the way he kissed her in the next moment.
William kissed her as if the world was ending and this was the last moment, the last chance to feel. His hands slipped from her waist to her hips, gripping them as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. His lips dragged against hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth with irresistible sensuality that made Buffy want to surrender to him and never let go. To let him devour her.
She clutched at the front of his white shirt, needing something to hold onto as he languidly proceeded to kiss the sanity away. The tips of William’s fingers on her hips brushed the side of her buttocks, making her burn and crave. Needing to touch his skin, Buffy loosened his tie and undid the first two buttons to caress his smooth firm chest. He shivered under her fingertips, letting out a gasp. Their heavy breaths filled the restricted space, the soundtrack of their desperate desire for each other.
Not knowing their panting and moaning could be heard outside, it stunned them when the door was suddenly yanked open and they both tumbled to the ground with Buffy on top. Two girls that had opened the door stood there laughing at their predicament. William blushed furiously as the girls told them to ‘go get a proper room’ and left them, their laughter trailing after them down the empty corridor.
Buffy groaned against his throat and rolled off him with effort. “Well, that was embarrassing.” She snorted then erupted into fits of uncontrollable giggles.
William glanced at her, lying next to him, her cheeks flushed from the effect of his kisses and mirth and he couldn’t help but join her.
Right at that moment, everything felt perfect.
********
“I don’t think we should be doing this,” William muttered and rubbed the back of his neck.
“But I’m hungry,” she said with a pout. God help him, he couldn’t tear his eyes off those lips.
“Alright, but let’s hurry.”
Buffy grinned and slipped through the door leading to the school kitchens, William following close behind. Trying to maneuver successfully and without drawing attention to the fact they were sneaking in when they already should be in their beds proved to be quite a challenge. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he peered around the darkness.
Then Buffy turned on the flashlight and a thin stream of light pierced the darkness to settle on the various pans and dishes scattered around. This must have been the craziest thing he’d ever done. If someone caught them they would be in a world of trouble, yet with Buffy at his side, William couldn’t find it in himself to care.
Feeling a sudden rush of alien confidence, William stepped closer to her and slipped his hand into hers before leaning in to kiss her cheek. Buffy turned to him with a sweet smile on her lips and squeezed his fingers.
“Ready to steal some midnight snack, Will?” she asked and tugged him towards a big freezer.
“This is kind of exciting,” he whispered. “Alright… let’s steal.”
“You’re so bad,” she said, and he just smirked. He knew she was just teasing, not making fun of him like anyone else.
“The baddest, baby,” he confirmed in a serious voice and Buffy stifled a chuckle.
She opened the fridge and they perused the contents. With a muffled squeal and a jump, Buffy reached out and snatched a box of strawberries. “You know, I think the kitchen ladies keep all the good stuff to themselves. That’s not very fair, is it?”
“Yeah, I say we liberate it.”
“Good plan.”
They took out the fruit and a can of whipped cream that obviously wasn’t meant to be given to the students. Sitting on the floor and reclining against the counter, William glanced over at Buffy, his stomach clenching as it always did when he was near her.
“You’re a very bad influence on me,” he said.
“Hmm… I do believe I am.” Buffy took out a strawberry and sprayed it with whipped cream before putting it into his mouth. William bit into it and a trickle of juice ran down his chin. Before it could drop on his white shirt, Buffy moved close to him and licked it off. William swallowed audibly and licked his lips. “The crime sure tastes delicious though,” she said, popping a strawberry into her mouth.
“Uhh… you’re torturing me on purpose, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
William lifted his eyebrow then his eyes fixed on the positively sinful way she was eating and closing her eyes in pleasure before he averted his gaze. What he wanted was to bury his fingers in her hair as he tasted her, rather than the fruit.
Buffy turned to glance at him, smiling wickedly and he realized she must have known exactly what she was doing to him.
'Vixen.'
Before he could chicken out, William leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She drew him closer and teased the seam of his mouth with the tip of her tongue before he allowed her entrance. The way she tasted had him moaning into her mouth. Strawberries, whipped cream and Buffy. Something he could feast on for the rest of his life and never want more.
Through the haze, William heard faint footsteps outside the door. He broke the kiss and fumbled to turn off the flashlight right before the door swung open. Her taste still lingered on the tip of his tongue. Buffy stared at him with wide eyes as the footsteps got closer. They both held their breath, her fingers squeezing his to the point of pain.
As the fridge opened, the light illuminated the thin silhouette of Miss Bennett, and William felt the blood drain from his face.
TBC
Beta'd by talented dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Chapter 6
Buffy stared out the classroom’s window, the teacher’s droning voice but a background noise. The sun was shining today, the rays chasing away the scattered clouds. When she was a child she used to just lie on the ground in the backyard and stare at the sky, tracing the distant clouds with the tip of her forefinger, making up the names for each of them. She loved it. The feeling of being so small against the vast overwhelming solidity of the universe, knowing with such certainty that there had to be something bigger, something powerful guiding her every move. It felt safe. Knowing that she had a path she was supposed to follow.
Then her parents got divorced and they moved away to Sunnydale. Buffy couldn’t find it in herself to care about social status when everything she knew to be safe and true kept crumbling beneath her feet. Anything she dared to put hope in drifting away like a puff of smoke. She had been so alone up until the point she met William. Wonderful, shy, mysterious William. He was so different from her and at the same time so alike, yearning for someone to chase the loneliness away. Hesitant to let anyone in.
They had spent the whole weekend just talking, lips stealing kisses in between, innocent caresses making her blood boil and rush. Buffy found herself always craving to touch William in some manner. She loved raking her fingers through his thick hair. Felt her heart swell when his eyelashes fluttered and how his lips parted as she kissed a spot just beneath his jaw. He talked of his mother, of what his life had been like after she passed away, his eyes heavy with a sadness Buffy wanted to erase.
The girl sitting next to her--whose name Buffy couldn’t recall--poked her in the ribs with her elbow, and Buffy’s attention snapped back to the teacher just as he glanced at her with a suspicious expression. She remained neutral, not averting her eyes from the teacher’s probing gaze. He turned back to the board again, his voice lulling her to daydream again. She stopped herself, unwilling to face the headmistress for being inattentive in class.
That woman wigged her out.
*******
After the last class, William sat in the library, immersed in poetry. His heart soared, blood singing in his veins as it always did when he got lost in the world where emotions lived and breathed even though its creator had been long dead . He wished he could wield the words in such fashion, so fluid and beautiful. Whenever he tried to voice his feelings, he sounded nothing but clumsy.
Pushing the book away, he sighed and took off his glasses, rubbing his tired eyes with the palms of his hands before placing them back again. He didn’t even need the glasses for anything but reading; still he wore them everywhere he went. They were a safety blanket that offered him the chance to hide his eyes. Just like the ridiculous hair that kept falling into his forehead. William liked it that way. It prevented people from seeing into him. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, doing nothing but offering it to be crushed, to be broken into shards that would cut his insides. His mother had always told him gazing into his eyes; one could catch a glimpse of his soul.
Warm little hands suddenly covered his eyes and William almost jumped in his seat.
“I knew I’d find you here. Don’t your eyes hurt from all the reading?”
“A little bit,” he admitted.
“Here, I’ll make it better.” Buffy smiled and took off his glasses. She had a habit of doing that every time they were together. It left him feeling vulnerable when she gazed into his eyes like that. Drinking him in for all he was. How could she not find him lacking? She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his brow, lingering for a few wonderful seconds.
“Mmm, much better,” he murmured.
“I’m not finished.” She winked at him and lifted her fingers to gently massage his temples. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment. When Buffy touched him like he mattered, it stirred a need so powerful in William he wanted to both turn away and let it drown him.
“It feels brilliant.”
“Just call me magician Buffy.”
He opened his eyes and bit his lip before circling her wrist with his fingers and kissing her palm. “Thank you. I could have you do that to me every day… magician Buffy.”
She poked out her tongue at him, leaving him momentarily dazed from the sight. His mind immediately ventured down the path of what it felt like to twine his own tongue against hers.
“And I’d be happy to, but only if you scratch my back,” Buffy said.
“Anything you want. You know I can’t deny you anything.”
“Oh yes. You’re the best! I officially declare you my personal scratcher slash the best kisser ever.”
William grinned. “Been called worse. And I promise my unending dedication to both tasks.”
Didn’t she know he was already her slave, willing to crash to his knees and do anything she asked of him? It scared him sometimes, the magnitude of passion dwelling in his heart. The intensity of his feelings would surely bring him to destruction. Condemn him to love so much without it ever being returned. Once Buffy saw how much he yearned for her affection, it would scare her away. Wouldn’t it?
She graced him with a breathtaking smile and took his hand. “Want to come with me somewhere?”
His heart fluttered at her question.
'I’d go anywhere with you. I’d follow you to the bowels of Hell if I had to.'
“Alright,” William said and the hand slipped away. He missed the contact already. “Just let me gather my things.”
“Bookworm.”
William shrugged and returned her smile as he put the books into his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Buffy glanced at him seductively as she headed out of the library. Hopeless to do anything else, he followed.
*******
“Where are we going?” he asked, relishing the feel of her palm rubbing intimately against his.
“Hmm… oh, here’s great, I think.”
William glanced around the empty corridor and his brow furrowed when Buffy let go of his hand in order to peek into what seem like a janitor’s closet. Then she smiled at him, eyes dancing in mischief and tugged at his tie to pull him in.
His breath quickened as she rested her palms on his chest and pulled the door closed before she pushed him against it with a wicked gleam in her gaze. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” she said.
William gulped.
“Ehm… to close yourself in a room full of cobwebs and detergent?”
She giggled and pressed herself against him, kissing his neck. His arms wound against Buffy’s waist. “Not exactly. More like, molest my boyfriend in a dark closet.”
William’s heart melted even as the temperature in the small room suddenly seemed to get much higher due to her teasing kisses on the sensitive skin beneath his jaw. “I-I’m your… boyfriend?”
“Only if you want to. Do you? I mean, want to?”
“Bloody hell, yes!”
Buffy giggled again, the sound he loved so much making the butterflies in his stomach flap their wings even faster as he blushed at his too eager response.
“I had no idea you even knew that term.” Her hands stroked his heaving chest as she rose on her tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss on his mouth. “Now, less talky and more kissy.”
William grinned against her mouth. “Your wish is my command.”
“Always such a gentleman,” Buffy said, though there was nothing gentlemanly about the way he kissed her in the next moment.
William kissed her as if the world was ending and this was the last moment, the last chance to feel. His hands slipped from her waist to her hips, gripping them as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. His lips dragged against hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth with irresistible sensuality that made Buffy want to surrender to him and never let go. To let him devour her.
She clutched at the front of his white shirt, needing something to hold onto as he languidly proceeded to kiss the sanity away. The tips of William’s fingers on her hips brushed the side of her buttocks, making her burn and crave. Needing to touch his skin, Buffy loosened his tie and undid the first two buttons to caress his smooth firm chest. He shivered under her fingertips, letting out a gasp. Their heavy breaths filled the restricted space, the soundtrack of their desperate desire for each other.
Not knowing their panting and moaning could be heard outside, it stunned them when the door was suddenly yanked open and they both tumbled to the ground with Buffy on top. Two girls that had opened the door stood there laughing at their predicament. William blushed furiously as the girls told them to ‘go get a proper room’ and left them, their laughter trailing after them down the empty corridor.
Buffy groaned against his throat and rolled off him with effort. “Well, that was embarrassing.” She snorted then erupted into fits of uncontrollable giggles.
William glanced at her, lying next to him, her cheeks flushed from the effect of his kisses and mirth and he couldn’t help but join her.
Right at that moment, everything felt perfect.
********
“I don’t think we should be doing this,” William muttered and rubbed the back of his neck.
“But I’m hungry,” she said with a pout. God help him, he couldn’t tear his eyes off those lips.
“Alright, but let’s hurry.”
Buffy grinned and slipped through the door leading to the school kitchens, William following close behind. Trying to maneuver successfully and without drawing attention to the fact they were sneaking in when they already should be in their beds proved to be quite a challenge. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he peered around the darkness.
Then Buffy turned on the flashlight and a thin stream of light pierced the darkness to settle on the various pans and dishes scattered around. This must have been the craziest thing he’d ever done. If someone caught them they would be in a world of trouble, yet with Buffy at his side, William couldn’t find it in himself to care.
Feeling a sudden rush of alien confidence, William stepped closer to her and slipped his hand into hers before leaning in to kiss her cheek. Buffy turned to him with a sweet smile on her lips and squeezed his fingers.
“Ready to steal some midnight snack, Will?” she asked and tugged him towards a big freezer.
“This is kind of exciting,” he whispered. “Alright… let’s steal.”
“You’re so bad,” she said, and he just smirked. He knew she was just teasing, not making fun of him like anyone else.
“The baddest, baby,” he confirmed in a serious voice and Buffy stifled a chuckle.
She opened the fridge and they perused the contents. With a muffled squeal and a jump, Buffy reached out and snatched a box of strawberries. “You know, I think the kitchen ladies keep all the good stuff to themselves. That’s not very fair, is it?”
“Yeah, I say we liberate it.”
“Good plan.”
They took out the fruit and a can of whipped cream that obviously wasn’t meant to be given to the students. Sitting on the floor and reclining against the counter, William glanced over at Buffy, his stomach clenching as it always did when he was near her.
“You’re a very bad influence on me,” he said.
“Hmm… I do believe I am.” Buffy took out a strawberry and sprayed it with whipped cream before putting it into his mouth. William bit into it and a trickle of juice ran down his chin. Before it could drop on his white shirt, Buffy moved close to him and licked it off. William swallowed audibly and licked his lips. “The crime sure tastes delicious though,” she said, popping a strawberry into her mouth.
“Uhh… you’re torturing me on purpose, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
William lifted his eyebrow then his eyes fixed on the positively sinful way she was eating and closing her eyes in pleasure before he averted his gaze. What he wanted was to bury his fingers in her hair as he tasted her, rather than the fruit.
Buffy turned to glance at him, smiling wickedly and he realized she must have known exactly what she was doing to him.
'Vixen.'
Before he could chicken out, William leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She drew him closer and teased the seam of his mouth with the tip of her tongue before he allowed her entrance. The way she tasted had him moaning into her mouth. Strawberries, whipped cream and Buffy. Something he could feast on for the rest of his life and never want more.
Through the haze, William heard faint footsteps outside the door. He broke the kiss and fumbled to turn off the flashlight right before the door swung open. Her taste still lingered on the tip of his tongue. Buffy stared at him with wide eyes as the footsteps got closer. They both held their breath, her fingers squeezing his to the point of pain.
As the fridge opened, the light illuminated the thin silhouette of Miss Bennett, and William felt the blood drain from his face.
TBC
Chapter seven
Author's notes: Thank you dawnofme and Mabel Marsters for making my fic so much better, and bear hugs to all you who are reading and enjoying. ;) The load of work is stressing me out at the moment so I've decided to post so I can soak up some awesomeness from your sweet reviews. I appreciate every single comment. :)
Chapter 7
They’d almost got caught the night before, but luck had been on their side, and Miss Bennett had left before she could notice them behind the counter. As they’d raced up the stairs to their respective bedrooms, they couldn’t help but stifle giggles from the exhilaration. Unable to resist, they’d stopped on the landing to share one lustful kiss before parting.
Now, tiptoeing down the hallway, Buffy peered into the darkness as she tried to find the door to William’s room. Unfortunately, she was scarred for life from witnessing Faith enjoying her newest conquest when Buffy came back to their room. Words couldn’t explain how much she needed to have her memories erased.
'23, 24… oh come on. Damn Faith and her skankiness. 27. Ah, 28.'
Buffy let out a sigh of relief, and as she stepped forward, she promptly tripped over a heavy steel object on the floor. Her hands flew to her mouth, muffling a yelp of pain. Good thing it was the middle of the night, or else she’d be caught hopping around the hallway like some kind of freak.
'Who the hell puts stuff like that on the floor?'
Too tired and annoyed to inspect the offending object, Buffy staggered to reach door number 28. She raised her fist and hesitated, putting it down.
'Now what? Are you gonna stand here all night and stare at the door?'
Buffy fidgeted for a few seconds, not knowing why she was so nervous. It wasn’t like she’d never been in his room before. Admittedly, it was quite different to barge in on someone after midnight and demand asylum without them offering it first. What if he took it the wrong way? What if she wanted him to take it the wrong way?
Scowling at her muddled logic, Buffy raised her fist and knocked before she could talk herself out of it. She waited. Nothing. She knocked again and sighed in relief when she heard the commotion on the other side. Her heart picked up in speed as she nervously wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs.
The door opened, revealing a sleep-rumpled William wearing nothing but boxers. Buffy shamelessly ogled him before she snapped out of the daze his half-naked state had put her in and offered him a crooked smile.
“Buffy? Is something wrong?” He stood there frowning, while her hands itched to ruffle his messy hair even more.
'Wait, did he ask me something? Damn it, Buffy, stop staring at his yummy almost nakedness.'
“Uh… I’m here because… umm… I have a reason for that.” She blushed. Why did she come here again? “Oh… Faith! She threw me out of the room … again.” She smiled and played with the hem of her shirt.
“Right then. Why don’t you come in?” William stepped away so she could enter before he closed the door.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“’S alright. You know you can always come here… day or night,” he said with a grin and closed the distance between them. Buffy leaned into his embrace and stroked the velvety skin of his back. He shivered against her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
“I didn’t bring any pajamas,” Buffy said. “Would you give me your t-shirt?”
William groaned and tightened his arms around her. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Why?”
“Nothing… it’s just… do you have idea how hot you look when you’re wearing my stuff?”
“I do?” she asked, surprised. “Maybe we could find out if the same applies to you wearing mine.”
William chuckled. “Not sure pink is my colour.”
“Don’t knock it till you try it. I bet you’d look cute.”
“Not cute,” he muttered half-heartedly and slipped out of her embrace to get her a t-shirt.
Buffy sneaked behind him, kissing him between the shoulder blades. “You are. Cute, handsome… sexy.”
William snorted, ignoring the scowl at his response and handed her the garment, his eyes following the sway of her hips as she went into the bathroom to change. Sliding beneath his comforter, William let out a yawn. He wasn’t used to being complimented and blushed like a git every time Buffy said something like that to him. As far as he was concerned, she was the beautiful one in their relationship.
Buffy stepped out of the bathroom and his gaze swept over her lean legs. Gulping as she stopped next to his bed, he lifted the comforter so she could climb in. Her scent washed over him as she snuggled close to his side, her warm hand resting on his bare chest. He was fairly certain she could feel the wild staccato of his heart, but fortunately, she didn’t comment on it.
The heat spread through his limbs under her touch. Sparks of electricity dancing along his nerves making him shift as he suppressed a groan. Then Buffy wedged her leg between his and kissed the side of his neck, causing William to inhale sharply.
“I love the way you smell,” Buffy murmured and inadvertently stroked his chest, seemingly unaware of the feelings she stirred deep inside him. William’s hand shook slightly as he massaged her scalp. He tried to force inappropriate images out of his head, but the more he tried, the more he couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
“Buffy…”
“Hmm?”
“Uh… nothing. Just… good night,” he said and tried to slow his breathing.
“Good night, William.”
He closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep, but his every sense seemed to be heightened, attuned to the soft female body pressed to his side. Her quick breath tickled the side of his neck, revealing that she was awake too. The temperature in the room seemed to rise several degrees, his skin sensitized to the point where it felt too tight. His whole body screamed with the urge to roll to his side and kiss Buffy. Touch her. Feel that smooth skin under his hands, taste the sweetness of her mouth, and caress her breasts as she arched into him. William clenched his jaw.
“I can’t sleep,” she whispered suddenly.
“Neither can I,” he admitted and glanced at her.
“What are we going to do?”
There were several things on his mind, but none of them were exactly safe to say out loud. Well, unless he wanted to don a shiner, and Buffy had a lot more strength that one would have given her the credit for. They kissed on a regular basis but it was usually her initiating it, so William felt quite unsure of being assertive. The last thing he wanted was to force himself on her.
“We could talk,” William said.
“Are you sure you’re not tired? You were asleep before I barged in on you like that. Rude much?”
“Wouldn’t trade this for anything, Buffy. You know I love having you around.”
Buffy shifted impossibly closer, which made William shudder and try to come up with any disgusting images to keep his libido under control.
“Are you okay?” she asked and stroked his chest. “You’re all tense.”
William forced his body to relax and kissed her forehead. “Sorry. I’m fine. Really.”
“William,” she said in that tone of voice that told him Buffy knew he was lying.
“It’s just… I really want to… kiss you.”
Buffy smiled against his neck and nipped at his skin. “What’s stopping you?”
“Nothing… I just wasn’t sure if it would be alright with you.”
“You don’t have to ask, William. You’re my boyfriend.” Buffy smiled. “It’s not like we can’t control ourselves, right?”
“Maybe I can’t.”
“Maybe I don’t care. Please… kiss me?”
Seeing her wide eyes, the soft pout, William couldn’t hold back anymore. Before she could blink, he was on his side and drawing her against him with a groan. Buffy let out a moan, and he no longer cared that she could feel the state of his arousal pressed into her belly. Not when she was gazing at him with those hooded eyes beginning to smolder with desire. Her fingers slipped into his hair as she pulled him closer, covering his lips with hers.
This was as close to heaven as he would ever get, he was sure of it. Here in Buffy’s arms, with her taste lingering on his tongue and the silkiness of her back under his hands. And the way she moved against him. It was everything he could have asked for, yet he hungered for more. Her tongue traced sinful patterns on his parted lips before she delved inside, marking him as hers.
Her hands left a blazing trail down his back as she explored his bare flesh and she dragged him on top of her.
“Buffy,” William whispered with awe into her cheek before claiming her swollen lips once again.
The way she touched him drove him crazy, awakening something so primal writhing in him, he was helpless to do anything but submit. To her. To passion. Her fingers drifted down to squeeze his buttocks before her pelvis rolled against his, and William gasped into her mouth.
“Please, William… touch me.”
What kind of man would he be if he denied her?
William’s hand softly traced her side before disappearing under the t-shirt he’d lent her. His fingers crawled slowly up her ribcage as his eyes drank in her flushed cheeks and fluttering eyelashes. The way her graceful throat arched as he brushed the underside of her breasts had William biting his lower lip.
“So beautiful,” he murmured as he fully palmed her left breast. Buffy’s eyelids fluttered shut as he grazed her nipple, so William did it again. He was fascinated, her every expression and sound burning into his memory.
Buffy opened her eyes and grasped his hand. Despite what he saw in her eyes, for a moment he was afraid he’d done something wrong. Then she guided his hand to the hem of her t-shirt, prompting him to take it off. With trembling hands, he did so and stared at the vision before him. He could feel she was nervous in the way her hands twitched with the urge to cover herself though she tried to hide it.
“You’re perfect.” He leaned down to kiss her lips. The way the bare skin of their torsos rubbed together, pelvises undulating against each other caused William to let out a shuddering breath.
“We both are,” she said with a breathy laugh and tugged him closer with her legs criss-crossing behind his back.
William was painfully aware how little separated them, as he felt her heat seep into him through the thin layer of their underwear. His lips kissed a path down her neck to kiss the tops of her heaving breast. The fingers treading through his thick hair told him she didn’t want him to stop, so he indulged himself in what he wanted to do for a long time.
His hand cupped her breast as he leaned down and hesitantly trailed his tongue around the areola before sucking it avidly between his lips. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Somehow, this girl managed to crash into his dreary life and chase away the shadows of loneliness. And now she was here, their limbs tangled as Buffy’s legs tightened around him in response as she continued to rock against him. If she kept it up it wouldn’t be long before he embarrassed himself.
“Don’t stop,” she said between heavy breaths.
William sucked harder as his hand massaged the neglected breast. He could feel her thighs starting to tremble against his sides, and he sped up his thrusts against her. Buffy was so close he could almost taste it and it filled him with a male pride he’d never experienced before. It was him, William the bloody awful poet, giving this angel pleasure that made her twist and pant. Buffy let out a moan, gripping his hair with more force as she came apart around him. Seeing the blissful expression on her face, hearing her cry out his name in passion was enough for William to follow her into ecstasy.
He rested his forehead against her neck, listening to the rapid beat of her pulse as they waited for their breath to return to normal.
“Oh my God… that was… you’re amazing, William.”
“I’ve never been so hungry for anyone in my life. And it’s not me who’s amazing. God, you’re…. there are no words eloquent enough to express how breathtaking you are.”
Buffy blushed and squirmed. “I think that I… nothing.”
William lifted his head and gazed at her. “Tell me.”
“You’ll wig out.”
“I promise I won’t,” he said with a chuckle as he kissed her burning cheek.
“I think that… I mean, I might be… I am falling in love with you.”
Silence.
“William?”
Just a few words and his world came undone. His mind couldn’t process it, as her sweet confession echoed in his brain. Then she started to wriggle under him in effort to escape, and his mind snapped back to the situation at hand. William could have kicked himself for zoning out when he noticed her quivering lower lip. She wouldn’t look at him, probably making up all sorts of assumptions.
Deciding actions spoke louder than words; William grasped her cheeks and crashed his lips to hers. He poured everything he felt for her, all the desperate passion and tenderness, into the kiss until she yielded into him once again.
Breaking the kiss, William tried to speak through the lump in his throat. “I love you, Buffy. God, I love you so much it hurts. I never thought you’d ever--”
“How could I not?” She hugged him closer, desperate to touch him.
After a moment, Buffy asked, “William?”
“Yeah?”
“I think we should clean up.”
Buffy scrunched up her face as she wriggled under him and William nodded.
After they cleaned up and went to bed, sleep came easy as they lay in each other’s arms.
TBC
Author's note: Thumbs up for William's lack of long term restraint? lol
Chapter 7
They’d almost got caught the night before, but luck had been on their side, and Miss Bennett had left before she could notice them behind the counter. As they’d raced up the stairs to their respective bedrooms, they couldn’t help but stifle giggles from the exhilaration. Unable to resist, they’d stopped on the landing to share one lustful kiss before parting.
Now, tiptoeing down the hallway, Buffy peered into the darkness as she tried to find the door to William’s room. Unfortunately, she was scarred for life from witnessing Faith enjoying her newest conquest when Buffy came back to their room. Words couldn’t explain how much she needed to have her memories erased.
'23, 24… oh come on. Damn Faith and her skankiness. 27. Ah, 28.'
Buffy let out a sigh of relief, and as she stepped forward, she promptly tripped over a heavy steel object on the floor. Her hands flew to her mouth, muffling a yelp of pain. Good thing it was the middle of the night, or else she’d be caught hopping around the hallway like some kind of freak.
'Who the hell puts stuff like that on the floor?'
Too tired and annoyed to inspect the offending object, Buffy staggered to reach door number 28. She raised her fist and hesitated, putting it down.
'Now what? Are you gonna stand here all night and stare at the door?'
Buffy fidgeted for a few seconds, not knowing why she was so nervous. It wasn’t like she’d never been in his room before. Admittedly, it was quite different to barge in on someone after midnight and demand asylum without them offering it first. What if he took it the wrong way? What if she wanted him to take it the wrong way?
Scowling at her muddled logic, Buffy raised her fist and knocked before she could talk herself out of it. She waited. Nothing. She knocked again and sighed in relief when she heard the commotion on the other side. Her heart picked up in speed as she nervously wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs.
The door opened, revealing a sleep-rumpled William wearing nothing but boxers. Buffy shamelessly ogled him before she snapped out of the daze his half-naked state had put her in and offered him a crooked smile.
“Buffy? Is something wrong?” He stood there frowning, while her hands itched to ruffle his messy hair even more.
'Wait, did he ask me something? Damn it, Buffy, stop staring at his yummy almost nakedness.'
“Uh… I’m here because… umm… I have a reason for that.” She blushed. Why did she come here again? “Oh… Faith! She threw me out of the room … again.” She smiled and played with the hem of her shirt.
“Right then. Why don’t you come in?” William stepped away so she could enter before he closed the door.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“’S alright. You know you can always come here… day or night,” he said with a grin and closed the distance between them. Buffy leaned into his embrace and stroked the velvety skin of his back. He shivered against her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
“I didn’t bring any pajamas,” Buffy said. “Would you give me your t-shirt?”
William groaned and tightened his arms around her. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Why?”
“Nothing… it’s just… do you have idea how hot you look when you’re wearing my stuff?”
“I do?” she asked, surprised. “Maybe we could find out if the same applies to you wearing mine.”
William chuckled. “Not sure pink is my colour.”
“Don’t knock it till you try it. I bet you’d look cute.”
“Not cute,” he muttered half-heartedly and slipped out of her embrace to get her a t-shirt.
Buffy sneaked behind him, kissing him between the shoulder blades. “You are. Cute, handsome… sexy.”
William snorted, ignoring the scowl at his response and handed her the garment, his eyes following the sway of her hips as she went into the bathroom to change. Sliding beneath his comforter, William let out a yawn. He wasn’t used to being complimented and blushed like a git every time Buffy said something like that to him. As far as he was concerned, she was the beautiful one in their relationship.
Buffy stepped out of the bathroom and his gaze swept over her lean legs. Gulping as she stopped next to his bed, he lifted the comforter so she could climb in. Her scent washed over him as she snuggled close to his side, her warm hand resting on his bare chest. He was fairly certain she could feel the wild staccato of his heart, but fortunately, she didn’t comment on it.
The heat spread through his limbs under her touch. Sparks of electricity dancing along his nerves making him shift as he suppressed a groan. Then Buffy wedged her leg between his and kissed the side of his neck, causing William to inhale sharply.
“I love the way you smell,” Buffy murmured and inadvertently stroked his chest, seemingly unaware of the feelings she stirred deep inside him. William’s hand shook slightly as he massaged her scalp. He tried to force inappropriate images out of his head, but the more he tried, the more he couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
“Buffy…”
“Hmm?”
“Uh… nothing. Just… good night,” he said and tried to slow his breathing.
“Good night, William.”
He closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep, but his every sense seemed to be heightened, attuned to the soft female body pressed to his side. Her quick breath tickled the side of his neck, revealing that she was awake too. The temperature in the room seemed to rise several degrees, his skin sensitized to the point where it felt too tight. His whole body screamed with the urge to roll to his side and kiss Buffy. Touch her. Feel that smooth skin under his hands, taste the sweetness of her mouth, and caress her breasts as she arched into him. William clenched his jaw.
“I can’t sleep,” she whispered suddenly.
“Neither can I,” he admitted and glanced at her.
“What are we going to do?”
There were several things on his mind, but none of them were exactly safe to say out loud. Well, unless he wanted to don a shiner, and Buffy had a lot more strength that one would have given her the credit for. They kissed on a regular basis but it was usually her initiating it, so William felt quite unsure of being assertive. The last thing he wanted was to force himself on her.
“We could talk,” William said.
“Are you sure you’re not tired? You were asleep before I barged in on you like that. Rude much?”
“Wouldn’t trade this for anything, Buffy. You know I love having you around.”
Buffy shifted impossibly closer, which made William shudder and try to come up with any disgusting images to keep his libido under control.
“Are you okay?” she asked and stroked his chest. “You’re all tense.”
William forced his body to relax and kissed her forehead. “Sorry. I’m fine. Really.”
“William,” she said in that tone of voice that told him Buffy knew he was lying.
“It’s just… I really want to… kiss you.”
Buffy smiled against his neck and nipped at his skin. “What’s stopping you?”
“Nothing… I just wasn’t sure if it would be alright with you.”
“You don’t have to ask, William. You’re my boyfriend.” Buffy smiled. “It’s not like we can’t control ourselves, right?”
“Maybe I can’t.”
“Maybe I don’t care. Please… kiss me?”
Seeing her wide eyes, the soft pout, William couldn’t hold back anymore. Before she could blink, he was on his side and drawing her against him with a groan. Buffy let out a moan, and he no longer cared that she could feel the state of his arousal pressed into her belly. Not when she was gazing at him with those hooded eyes beginning to smolder with desire. Her fingers slipped into his hair as she pulled him closer, covering his lips with hers.
This was as close to heaven as he would ever get, he was sure of it. Here in Buffy’s arms, with her taste lingering on his tongue and the silkiness of her back under his hands. And the way she moved against him. It was everything he could have asked for, yet he hungered for more. Her tongue traced sinful patterns on his parted lips before she delved inside, marking him as hers.
Her hands left a blazing trail down his back as she explored his bare flesh and she dragged him on top of her.
“Buffy,” William whispered with awe into her cheek before claiming her swollen lips once again.
The way she touched him drove him crazy, awakening something so primal writhing in him, he was helpless to do anything but submit. To her. To passion. Her fingers drifted down to squeeze his buttocks before her pelvis rolled against his, and William gasped into her mouth.
“Please, William… touch me.”
What kind of man would he be if he denied her?
William’s hand softly traced her side before disappearing under the t-shirt he’d lent her. His fingers crawled slowly up her ribcage as his eyes drank in her flushed cheeks and fluttering eyelashes. The way her graceful throat arched as he brushed the underside of her breasts had William biting his lower lip.
“So beautiful,” he murmured as he fully palmed her left breast. Buffy’s eyelids fluttered shut as he grazed her nipple, so William did it again. He was fascinated, her every expression and sound burning into his memory.
Buffy opened her eyes and grasped his hand. Despite what he saw in her eyes, for a moment he was afraid he’d done something wrong. Then she guided his hand to the hem of her t-shirt, prompting him to take it off. With trembling hands, he did so and stared at the vision before him. He could feel she was nervous in the way her hands twitched with the urge to cover herself though she tried to hide it.
“You’re perfect.” He leaned down to kiss her lips. The way the bare skin of their torsos rubbed together, pelvises undulating against each other caused William to let out a shuddering breath.
“We both are,” she said with a breathy laugh and tugged him closer with her legs criss-crossing behind his back.
William was painfully aware how little separated them, as he felt her heat seep into him through the thin layer of their underwear. His lips kissed a path down her neck to kiss the tops of her heaving breast. The fingers treading through his thick hair told him she didn’t want him to stop, so he indulged himself in what he wanted to do for a long time.
His hand cupped her breast as he leaned down and hesitantly trailed his tongue around the areola before sucking it avidly between his lips. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Somehow, this girl managed to crash into his dreary life and chase away the shadows of loneliness. And now she was here, their limbs tangled as Buffy’s legs tightened around him in response as she continued to rock against him. If she kept it up it wouldn’t be long before he embarrassed himself.
“Don’t stop,” she said between heavy breaths.
William sucked harder as his hand massaged the neglected breast. He could feel her thighs starting to tremble against his sides, and he sped up his thrusts against her. Buffy was so close he could almost taste it and it filled him with a male pride he’d never experienced before. It was him, William the bloody awful poet, giving this angel pleasure that made her twist and pant. Buffy let out a moan, gripping his hair with more force as she came apart around him. Seeing the blissful expression on her face, hearing her cry out his name in passion was enough for William to follow her into ecstasy.
He rested his forehead against her neck, listening to the rapid beat of her pulse as they waited for their breath to return to normal.
“Oh my God… that was… you’re amazing, William.”
“I’ve never been so hungry for anyone in my life. And it’s not me who’s amazing. God, you’re…. there are no words eloquent enough to express how breathtaking you are.”
Buffy blushed and squirmed. “I think that I… nothing.”
William lifted his head and gazed at her. “Tell me.”
“You’ll wig out.”
“I promise I won’t,” he said with a chuckle as he kissed her burning cheek.
“I think that… I mean, I might be… I am falling in love with you.”
Silence.
“William?”
Just a few words and his world came undone. His mind couldn’t process it, as her sweet confession echoed in his brain. Then she started to wriggle under him in effort to escape, and his mind snapped back to the situation at hand. William could have kicked himself for zoning out when he noticed her quivering lower lip. She wouldn’t look at him, probably making up all sorts of assumptions.
Deciding actions spoke louder than words; William grasped her cheeks and crashed his lips to hers. He poured everything he felt for her, all the desperate passion and tenderness, into the kiss until she yielded into him once again.
Breaking the kiss, William tried to speak through the lump in his throat. “I love you, Buffy. God, I love you so much it hurts. I never thought you’d ever--”
“How could I not?” She hugged him closer, desperate to touch him.
After a moment, Buffy asked, “William?”
“Yeah?”
“I think we should clean up.”
Buffy scrunched up her face as she wriggled under him and William nodded.
After they cleaned up and went to bed, sleep came easy as they lay in each other’s arms.
TBC
Author's note: Thumbs up for William's lack of long term restraint? lol
Chapter eight
Chapter 8
Flashes of nameless faces swirled in a mad blur of colours and emotions. Young girls. So many of them tainted with bruises marring their skin. The images flickered too fast for Buffy to even try to inspect them closer. Her breathing quickened, as she was suddenly hurtled forward, pain exploding in her knees upon the impact with the cold ground.
Staggering to stand up, she peered into the darkness surrounding her. The chilly air on the bare skin of her arms and legs made her shiver, and Buffy ground her teeth together in order to stop them from chattering. Couldn’t her subconscious dress her up in more appropriate attire for this weather? Something other than the t-shirt she’d gone to sleep in--and where was she anyway?
The wind wheezed past the bare limbs of scattered trees, making an owl hoot in protest. Headstones stuck up unevenly from the ground, and Buffy’s stomach lurched at the eerie stillness settling all around her. No sunny beach for Buffy.
Muffled voices and the unmistakable sounds of a fight carried to her from a distance. Should she go and investigate?
Rubbing her arms to ward off the chill, Buffy set out towards the sounds of scuffle. She certainly didn’t like these way-too-real details her mind had conjured up, but what else was there to do but wait until she woke up?
A girl flew through the air from behind a large mausoleum, and Buffy almost jumped out of her skin at the violent motion. The girl groaned and sat up with obvious difficulty as she cradled her misshaped leg. Buffy felt as if she were intruding on something she shouldn’t see, but that was ridiculous.
As she got closer, she noticed the deep gash running across the girl’s cheek, her leg broken. The sight of it made Buffy sick and she questioned her own sanity, but it was something else that made the blood in her veins run cold. It was the laugh. That amused almost giddy laughter of someone that should be locked up in an asylum far, far away.
The slender form of a young woman floated from behind the mausoleum with an unnatural grace. The woman’s hands slithered down her old fashioned dress as she slowly stalked towards the fallen prey with a coy smile on her face, her raven locks shimmering under the moonlight. Buffy had to admit she was disturbingly beautiful.
Another woman, a blonde that exuded power, strode close behind with an annoyed expression.
“This is starting to bore me, Dru. Just finish her off already,” the blonde said.
“She’d make such a good dolly,” Dru answered with a gleeful clap of her hands and then she frowned. “But she must die.”
The fallen girl stared at them in confusion and anger as she said something in a language Buffy couldn’t understand. French, maybe?
“Why did we bother looking for her anyway? The bitch made me break my nail,” said the blonde and Buffy felt an irresistible urge to slap her.
“The moon told me it was important. She has to die so the sun can come up and burn the Black Knight to ashes.”
Now Buffy was pretty sure Dru wasn’t all there in her head, and the woman’s companion seemed to agree as she rolled her eyes. Buffy’s legs seemed frozen in place, refusing to take a step forward. The girl stood up with a grunt, resolution written all over her face as she tried to ignore her broken leg. She looked ready to pass out from her numerous injuries, and Buffy had the horrific realization she was going to witness a murder.
There was nothing she could do to stop it as the crazy woman swayed towards the girl like a cobra ready to strike. Then Dru stopped and stared at the girl, and Buffy frowned in confusion as the girl’s face became blank before she started to sway along with Dru’s movements. There was a blur of motion and the girl fell limply to the ground, her head twisted at an awkward angle, her eyes empty of life.
Before Buffy could cry out, Dru suddenly stood in front of her, her madness seeping from her gaze. “You can’t escape.”
Dru’s face blurred, transforming into the stern one of the headmistress, and Buffy found herself standing in the middle of Miss Bennett’s office. The headmistress stared at the desk, and Buffy followed her gaze to notice scattered sheets of paper on the surface. Leaning forward to get a closer look, Buffy noticed one of the papers was the one signed by her mother on the first day of school.
A drop of crimson splashed on the paper and spread as blood continued to drop on it. Lifting her hand to her nose, Buffy’s fingers came away red just before a powerful jolt of energy shot through her system. Her panicked stare jerked up to meet the headmistress’ empty sockets as her skin and flesh gave way to reveal the corpse beneath.
With a scream, Buffy woke up.
********
“Buffy!” William yelled frantically for the second time as he shook her shoulders. He’d woken up to feel her shivering against him, so he’d drawn her closer and rubbed her arms in effort to warm her up. It hadn’t been long before she started gasping and thrashing, almost tumbling out of the bed.
When the blood came poring out of her nose, William started to become really scared and tried to rouse her, but she would have none of it. He kept shaking her. She screamed before her eyes snapped open to glance wildly around.
“Thank God.” He hugged her in relief as they lay on their sides. “I was terrified when you wouldn’t wake up.”
“William?” Her brow furrowed as she fought to calm down her breathing. “What…”
“You’re bleeding.” William tilted her head backwards as he pressed her to lie on her back. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Buffy lifted her fingers to her nose and her stomach clenched when she encountered wetness. The events of her dream kept replaying in her head on repeat, over and over again until she squeezed her eyes shut to ward them off. It didn’t feel like a dream should. It didn’t linger and taunt her, true meaning veiled by the details stubbornly drifting away. Instead, the faces, the chill, the scrap of paper with her mother’s signature were burned on the back of her eyelids.
None of it made any sense. Nor did the breathless restlessness stretching her insides. The feel of energy zapping along her nerves, something within her coiling and spreading to…
William brushed her hair to the side and Buffy almost jumped up in surprise. She’d never heard him coming back. He pressed a wet cloth against her skin, cleaning the blood away.
“I had a nightmare,” Buffy said and struggled to catch his gaze in the darkness.
“I figured. Wanna talk about it?”
“I… it was… strange. There was this girl and then they… killed her. And Miss Bennett… she was all with being dead but alive at the same time and than I started bleeding…”
“It was just a bad dream. ‘S alright now.” William went to the bathroom to wring out the towel and came back. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her forehead and gasped. “Buffy, you’re burning up.”
“What?” Buffy asked, frowning in confusion.
“I think you have a fever,” he said in a concerned tone.
“I feel fine.” Buffy sat up and tried to stand up when her knees buckled and she crumpled to the floor. Her whole body trembled as William rushed to her side and swept her into his arms to deposit her back on the bed. The moment of weakness was gone in an instant and her heart pounded against her ribcage with alarming speed. “William… what’s happening to me?”
She could hear slight panic in his voice though she couldn’t make out the words as her blood pounded loudly through her veins. A bead of sweat trickled down her temple. Then it all stopped.
She felt the same and still… There was something different. Her whole body itched with a sudden need to run. To hunt.
William was currently in the middle of yanking on his pants and she looked on in confusion. “Where are you going?”
“Not me. We. You need to see a nurse.”
“No! I’m fine. It’s… I’m fine. I think it must have been just some weird reaction to the school cafeteria food. Hey, maybe I’m being punished by some higher power for stealing those strawberries.”
“Buffy…”
She stood up and walked over to him, prying his hands off the pants’ top button. “Stop worrying.”
He snorted. “Like that would ever happen. I still think we should go.”
“I’m not even hot anymore.” She pouted and lifted his hand to press it against her cheek. “See?”
He let out a sigh and drew her into his embrace, trembling against her. “You scared me. And… I think you’re still very hot.”
“Are you teasing me and complimenting me at the same time?”
“Yeah.” He smiled ruefully and leaned away enough to be able to look at her. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’re not lying to me just so I won’t make you go, are you?”
“I’m all with the okayness. I promise. Now take off your pants,” she said with a grin.
William chuckled and arched an eyebrow. “Someone is awfully eager about divesting me of my kit.”
“I have no idea what kit is, but if it means you’ll be wearing less, then yup… that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Naughty.”
“That’s me. Now stop staring at me and give me a kiss, would you?”
William grinned and encircled her small waist to pull her closer as he leaned down and kissed her. She could feel him smile against her lips and couldn’t help but do the same, reveling in his shivers as her hands caressed his naked back. There was nothing in the world that could make her forget everything other than William’s sweet taste, the tantalizing slide of his tongue as it met hers and the way his muscles shifted beneath his skin as she stroked it.
Her knees hit the mattress and Buffy dropped down, pulling William on top of her with a satisfied sigh. His hand trailed down to caress her outer thigh as she scooted high enough to be able to stretch out. While William nipped at her throat, she seized the opportunity to rake her fingers through his messy curls.
“I love your hair,” she said.
“I look like a ponce,” he muttered into her neck.
“Hey! Would I have a ponce for a boyfriend?”
She loved how utterly flustered he looked right then. It was one thing to think badly of himself, but when it came to her…
“No,” he said begrudgingly. “But-”
“There will be no buts… none of that kind anyway,” she said with a grin and reached down to squeeze the tight muscle of his buttocks. He glanced up at her with wild eyes and reddened cheeks, as if he couldn’t believe she just did that. As if he hadn’t make her come just a couple of hours ago.
“You really must be feeling better,” he said and overcame his moment of shyness, grinning at her more seductively than he probably realized. Now it was her turn to blush.
“Uh huh.”
“That was very articulate of you, pet.”
She pouted.
“God, I still can’t believe you’re here… with me like this,” he said with the reverent tone in his voice. “Do you realize how beautiful you are?”
How was it possible that William could bare his soul with a mere glance? “I’m just… me.”
“Wouldn’t want anything else.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss her.
The feel of him above her, surrounded by his scent and tasting his lips was enough to get her brain muddled. So lost they were in each other, they didn’t hear the door creaking open. They never saw the disfigured creatures sneaking towards them until it was too late, and all Buffy could do was gasp as William was ripped away from her embrace. All that was left was coldness before her world went black.
TBC
Flashes of nameless faces swirled in a mad blur of colours and emotions. Young girls. So many of them tainted with bruises marring their skin. The images flickered too fast for Buffy to even try to inspect them closer. Her breathing quickened, as she was suddenly hurtled forward, pain exploding in her knees upon the impact with the cold ground.
Staggering to stand up, she peered into the darkness surrounding her. The chilly air on the bare skin of her arms and legs made her shiver, and Buffy ground her teeth together in order to stop them from chattering. Couldn’t her subconscious dress her up in more appropriate attire for this weather? Something other than the t-shirt she’d gone to sleep in--and where was she anyway?
The wind wheezed past the bare limbs of scattered trees, making an owl hoot in protest. Headstones stuck up unevenly from the ground, and Buffy’s stomach lurched at the eerie stillness settling all around her. No sunny beach for Buffy.
Muffled voices and the unmistakable sounds of a fight carried to her from a distance. Should she go and investigate?
Rubbing her arms to ward off the chill, Buffy set out towards the sounds of scuffle. She certainly didn’t like these way-too-real details her mind had conjured up, but what else was there to do but wait until she woke up?
A girl flew through the air from behind a large mausoleum, and Buffy almost jumped out of her skin at the violent motion. The girl groaned and sat up with obvious difficulty as she cradled her misshaped leg. Buffy felt as if she were intruding on something she shouldn’t see, but that was ridiculous.
As she got closer, she noticed the deep gash running across the girl’s cheek, her leg broken. The sight of it made Buffy sick and she questioned her own sanity, but it was something else that made the blood in her veins run cold. It was the laugh. That amused almost giddy laughter of someone that should be locked up in an asylum far, far away.
The slender form of a young woman floated from behind the mausoleum with an unnatural grace. The woman’s hands slithered down her old fashioned dress as she slowly stalked towards the fallen prey with a coy smile on her face, her raven locks shimmering under the moonlight. Buffy had to admit she was disturbingly beautiful.
Another woman, a blonde that exuded power, strode close behind with an annoyed expression.
“This is starting to bore me, Dru. Just finish her off already,” the blonde said.
“She’d make such a good dolly,” Dru answered with a gleeful clap of her hands and then she frowned. “But she must die.”
The fallen girl stared at them in confusion and anger as she said something in a language Buffy couldn’t understand. French, maybe?
“Why did we bother looking for her anyway? The bitch made me break my nail,” said the blonde and Buffy felt an irresistible urge to slap her.
“The moon told me it was important. She has to die so the sun can come up and burn the Black Knight to ashes.”
Now Buffy was pretty sure Dru wasn’t all there in her head, and the woman’s companion seemed to agree as she rolled her eyes. Buffy’s legs seemed frozen in place, refusing to take a step forward. The girl stood up with a grunt, resolution written all over her face as she tried to ignore her broken leg. She looked ready to pass out from her numerous injuries, and Buffy had the horrific realization she was going to witness a murder.
There was nothing she could do to stop it as the crazy woman swayed towards the girl like a cobra ready to strike. Then Dru stopped and stared at the girl, and Buffy frowned in confusion as the girl’s face became blank before she started to sway along with Dru’s movements. There was a blur of motion and the girl fell limply to the ground, her head twisted at an awkward angle, her eyes empty of life.
Before Buffy could cry out, Dru suddenly stood in front of her, her madness seeping from her gaze. “You can’t escape.”
Dru’s face blurred, transforming into the stern one of the headmistress, and Buffy found herself standing in the middle of Miss Bennett’s office. The headmistress stared at the desk, and Buffy followed her gaze to notice scattered sheets of paper on the surface. Leaning forward to get a closer look, Buffy noticed one of the papers was the one signed by her mother on the first day of school.
A drop of crimson splashed on the paper and spread as blood continued to drop on it. Lifting her hand to her nose, Buffy’s fingers came away red just before a powerful jolt of energy shot through her system. Her panicked stare jerked up to meet the headmistress’ empty sockets as her skin and flesh gave way to reveal the corpse beneath.
With a scream, Buffy woke up.
********
“Buffy!” William yelled frantically for the second time as he shook her shoulders. He’d woken up to feel her shivering against him, so he’d drawn her closer and rubbed her arms in effort to warm her up. It hadn’t been long before she started gasping and thrashing, almost tumbling out of the bed.
When the blood came poring out of her nose, William started to become really scared and tried to rouse her, but she would have none of it. He kept shaking her. She screamed before her eyes snapped open to glance wildly around.
“Thank God.” He hugged her in relief as they lay on their sides. “I was terrified when you wouldn’t wake up.”
“William?” Her brow furrowed as she fought to calm down her breathing. “What…”
“You’re bleeding.” William tilted her head backwards as he pressed her to lie on her back. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Buffy lifted her fingers to her nose and her stomach clenched when she encountered wetness. The events of her dream kept replaying in her head on repeat, over and over again until she squeezed her eyes shut to ward them off. It didn’t feel like a dream should. It didn’t linger and taunt her, true meaning veiled by the details stubbornly drifting away. Instead, the faces, the chill, the scrap of paper with her mother’s signature were burned on the back of her eyelids.
None of it made any sense. Nor did the breathless restlessness stretching her insides. The feel of energy zapping along her nerves, something within her coiling and spreading to…
William brushed her hair to the side and Buffy almost jumped up in surprise. She’d never heard him coming back. He pressed a wet cloth against her skin, cleaning the blood away.
“I had a nightmare,” Buffy said and struggled to catch his gaze in the darkness.
“I figured. Wanna talk about it?”
“I… it was… strange. There was this girl and then they… killed her. And Miss Bennett… she was all with being dead but alive at the same time and than I started bleeding…”
“It was just a bad dream. ‘S alright now.” William went to the bathroom to wring out the towel and came back. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her forehead and gasped. “Buffy, you’re burning up.”
“What?” Buffy asked, frowning in confusion.
“I think you have a fever,” he said in a concerned tone.
“I feel fine.” Buffy sat up and tried to stand up when her knees buckled and she crumpled to the floor. Her whole body trembled as William rushed to her side and swept her into his arms to deposit her back on the bed. The moment of weakness was gone in an instant and her heart pounded against her ribcage with alarming speed. “William… what’s happening to me?”
She could hear slight panic in his voice though she couldn’t make out the words as her blood pounded loudly through her veins. A bead of sweat trickled down her temple. Then it all stopped.
She felt the same and still… There was something different. Her whole body itched with a sudden need to run. To hunt.
William was currently in the middle of yanking on his pants and she looked on in confusion. “Where are you going?”
“Not me. We. You need to see a nurse.”
“No! I’m fine. It’s… I’m fine. I think it must have been just some weird reaction to the school cafeteria food. Hey, maybe I’m being punished by some higher power for stealing those strawberries.”
“Buffy…”
She stood up and walked over to him, prying his hands off the pants’ top button. “Stop worrying.”
He snorted. “Like that would ever happen. I still think we should go.”
“I’m not even hot anymore.” She pouted and lifted his hand to press it against her cheek. “See?”
He let out a sigh and drew her into his embrace, trembling against her. “You scared me. And… I think you’re still very hot.”
“Are you teasing me and complimenting me at the same time?”
“Yeah.” He smiled ruefully and leaned away enough to be able to look at her. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’re not lying to me just so I won’t make you go, are you?”
“I’m all with the okayness. I promise. Now take off your pants,” she said with a grin.
William chuckled and arched an eyebrow. “Someone is awfully eager about divesting me of my kit.”
“I have no idea what kit is, but if it means you’ll be wearing less, then yup… that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Naughty.”
“That’s me. Now stop staring at me and give me a kiss, would you?”
William grinned and encircled her small waist to pull her closer as he leaned down and kissed her. She could feel him smile against her lips and couldn’t help but do the same, reveling in his shivers as her hands caressed his naked back. There was nothing in the world that could make her forget everything other than William’s sweet taste, the tantalizing slide of his tongue as it met hers and the way his muscles shifted beneath his skin as she stroked it.
Her knees hit the mattress and Buffy dropped down, pulling William on top of her with a satisfied sigh. His hand trailed down to caress her outer thigh as she scooted high enough to be able to stretch out. While William nipped at her throat, she seized the opportunity to rake her fingers through his messy curls.
“I love your hair,” she said.
“I look like a ponce,” he muttered into her neck.
“Hey! Would I have a ponce for a boyfriend?”
She loved how utterly flustered he looked right then. It was one thing to think badly of himself, but when it came to her…
“No,” he said begrudgingly. “But-”
“There will be no buts… none of that kind anyway,” she said with a grin and reached down to squeeze the tight muscle of his buttocks. He glanced up at her with wild eyes and reddened cheeks, as if he couldn’t believe she just did that. As if he hadn’t make her come just a couple of hours ago.
“You really must be feeling better,” he said and overcame his moment of shyness, grinning at her more seductively than he probably realized. Now it was her turn to blush.
“Uh huh.”
“That was very articulate of you, pet.”
She pouted.
“God, I still can’t believe you’re here… with me like this,” he said with the reverent tone in his voice. “Do you realize how beautiful you are?”
How was it possible that William could bare his soul with a mere glance? “I’m just… me.”
“Wouldn’t want anything else.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss her.
The feel of him above her, surrounded by his scent and tasting his lips was enough to get her brain muddled. So lost they were in each other, they didn’t hear the door creaking open. They never saw the disfigured creatures sneaking towards them until it was too late, and all Buffy could do was gasp as William was ripped away from her embrace. All that was left was coldness before her world went black.
TBC
Chapter nine
Author's note: I tackled the majority of my course work, so here's an update just for you, you sweet cupcakes! :D
Beta'd by the ever helpful and talented ladies dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Chapter 9
Smoothing down her skirt, Sallie Bennett stared at the mantle clock with a giddy feeling zinging along her nerves. Hermes would be here any moment, and then she’d be granted another year of immortality. And if a child had to die to help her cheat nature, then that was a small price to pay. The petty voice called conscience had stopped bothering her decades ago.
The tell-tale rumbling alerted her to the newcomer, and Sallie turned on her heel to bestow him with a calculating smile.
“Are you ready to take him… or her?” she asked.
“Hello to you too, Miss Bennett,” said the creature, once again transforming himself into a handsome man right before her eyes. How many times had she told him not to scatter the brimstone on her beige carpet? She’d just had it steam cleaned.
“Let’s skip the niceties. So who are you taking this time?”
“William Pratt, I believe is his name.”
Sallie struggled to recall the face to go along with the name. Then she remembered and arched a brow. “Why him if I may ask? You had said you wanted him specifically, so it makes me wonder.”
“He’s quite a threat to us, you know.”
Chilling laugh escaped her mouth, one that would make a lesser hell servant tremble. “William Pratt? A threat? Are you sure we’re talking about the same boy?”
Hermes shook his head and clasped his hands in front of him. “You’re forgetting something. He’s the only student not bound within the school’s barrier. His mother didn’t have the chance to sign the contract before she passed away.”
“I am well aware of that. But believe me, he would never even attempt to leave the school’s premises, so I don’t see--”
“Well, we want to tie up all the loose ends, don’t we? I left the symbol in front of his door, so the minions should be able to locate him with no trouble at all. They’re probably retrieving him as we speak.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to take Miss Lehane with you?” she asked.
“And why would I do that when I know how much trouble she is to you?”
The door swung open in that moment, and two disfigured creatures dragged in William’s unconscious body, followed by another two. Blood trickled down William’s face from a fresh cut in his eyebrow, threatening to make even more damage to her carpet. Sallie curled her lip in disdain at the sight and the minions’ disagreeable appearance. Their skin was covered with rough scabs and their spines protruded through it as they breathed harshly through their fang-filled jaws.
“Would you take it elsewhere now? You have what you came here for and my contract is therefore extended, right?” she asked.
“Of course. Till next year, Miss Bennett.” Hermes bowed with a mocking grin and gestured to the minions. “After me, boys.”
********
The first thing she noticed was that her head hurt. A lot. With a groan, Buffy sat up and furrowed her brows as she tried to think through the pounding headache. Someone-- no, something-- had hit her over the head before she could as much as scream, right before…
'God, William!'
The reality rushed into her aching brain with blinding clarity, and ignoring the strangely rapidly disappearing headache, Buffy sprang to her shaking legs and rushed out of the room. She had to do something, had to find him. What were those things? And why did they take him? What if they hurt him? What if…
'This is no good. Stop focusing on the what ifs. I got to find him. God, just let him be alright.'
Running down the stairs, she didn’t pause to think of what to do. There was no time to call for help that wouldn’t come. No time to scream and act the part of a helpless little girl. A force of fear and anger rose up deep inside, fueling her determination to tear apart anyone who dared to hurt William. It didn’t matter how small she was, how seemingly fragile. Right now, Buffy felt as if she could rip their heads off with her bare hands without much effort.
Stopping in the atrium, her breath echoing loudly in her ears, Buffy glanced around in panic, trying to look for any clues. She had no idea what she’d do if something bad happened to William, if she was too late to save him. He was already a part of her. The only person she’d ever felt close to.
Crossing the hall, Buffy decided to follow her gut’s feeling when she heard it. A slight noise; a shuffle of feet and a whisper of inhuman breaths. Ducking behind a statue, an unlikely group rounded the nearby corner, coming from the direction of the headmistress’ office and made their way towards the back exit of the school. There they were, the creatures out of horror movies, two of them dragging William as if he were anything but a human being.
Not thinking, Buffy darted out from behind the statue as fearless anger flashed through her veins, and she sneaked at them from behind. Before she could take a swing, one of the demons whipped around with a snarl, alerting her presence to the others. As she aimed a punch at the demon’s face, it caught her hand and threw her backwards. She landed on the floor with a wince.
“Let him go… now,” she said with what she hoped was confidence and a threat in her voice. She had to get herself and William out of this mess.
The man at the front turned around with an amused smile and leveled her with his cold gaze. “Is he a sweetheart of yours, little girl?” Hermes shrugged. “You know, you really shouldn’t be out and about at this hour. All kinds of… creatures lurk around. But as long as you’re here… get her.”
Before she could get to her feet, a demon launched itself at her with a hiss. Following her instincts, Buffy kicked it in the gut and felt her leg reverberate under the force of impact with the inhuman flesh. She watched with amazement as the demon flew several feet away.
'What the…'
The man’s face twisted into an ugly mask of anger as he snarled, “Get the boy out of here.” He nodded at one of his servants and gestured at the remaining three, leering as he did. “Restrain the Slayer and… make her watch.”
With that, he turned on his heel. Buffy helplessly watched as they dragged William through the door and into the gardens. Then her vision was swallowed by the three demons as they surrounded her with hungry growls, their claws flashing menacingly in the darkened hallway. Turning her attention to the demons, Buffy braced herself to at least attempt fighting them as they drew near. Her fingers trembled as she took in their faces. This all had to be a dream. Just like the one she’d had before waking to the alien force slinking through her veins. Demons didn’t exist. None of this was real.
The closest demon lunged at her. Buffy reacted before she could think of what she was doing. Her arm blocked his attack as she ducked to avoid the other one trying to tackle her from behind. Standing up, she twirled behind the first attacker and used his moment of distraction to kick him in the back. The demon crashed head first into the other one and they lay sprawled on the floor. Buffy kicked the third one in the head before jumping over the momentarily incapacitated creatures and rushing with a pounding heart to the backdoor exit.
Just as she was about to leap through the threshold, she was bounced back as the invisible force slammed into her, separating her from William.
'No!'
Springing back to her feet, Buffy slammed her fists against the barrier as she watched the world unravel before her vision. The sound of the demons behind her drew closer, but it didn’t matter. Maybe if she just beat the force long enough, she’d be able to go through.
She’d save him.
The demons caught up to her in a matter of a few seconds, and she felt her hands restrained in two iron grips as she was forced to her knees. Hermes stared at her. “What do you think? Shall I kill him or take him to Hell with me?”
Outside, William began to stir, and her panicked eyes met his for a second that seemed to last an eternity. She could see his confusion, the fear, but her struggles were futile in her position. Even if she could break free of the demons’ grasp, she could never get to William. The man’s lips parted to reveal a wicked grin as he bent down to William, whose wrists were tied above his head and held by the last hell minion.
The man drew out a sharp dagger as he muttered words Buffy couldn’t understand. Then he lifted it above his head and time seemed to stretch beyond reason and logic. All she could see was the slow descent of the knife, its sleek surface reflecting the gleam of the full moon as it swung down and sank into William’s gut.
It seemed so effortless. The ease with which William’s tender flesh gave under the sharp edge. The way his life started to pour out of his body. The blood rose on the surface, thick and red as it saturated the white t-shirt he’d worn to bed. The t-shirt her hands had wandered under just a few hours ago.
A scream tore out of William’s throat. It was all she could hear. All she could feel. Her arms fell slack at her sides as her world crumbled under the weight of helpless grief. William’s eyes fluttered open for a second as he stared into hers, and she whispered his name. She could barely hear the man’s laughter as he ordered his minions to kill her. William struggled for a futile second, the blood flowing from the tear in his gut as he struggled to get to her. To save her. He was dying and still, it was her life that mattered more to him.
The demons tore her away from the threshold. William’s ashen face, as the life drained away from him, would be the last thing she saw of him.
********
“Hurry, Grandma. The party is about to begin and my Prince is waiting for me,” Drusilla said, as she glided across the lawn towards the old building overgrown with vines.
“I told you to stop calling me that.” Darla rolled her eyes, but followed Drusilla anyway. It was no use to reason with her when she was so hell bent on something. And a little mayhem just might be something to tide over the boredom for a while.
The scent of blood hit Darla’s nostrils a few seconds before she spotted the scene. A young boy was curled up on the ground, bleeding to death. Some demons performing a sacrificial ritual. It looked like fun. They came to a stop, and Drusilla clapped her hands and giggled. One of these days, Darla would cut her hands off if she kept doing that. One could only take so much clapping.
“Well, look at that,” Darla said slyly and swayed her way over to the tall, handsome man. “Mind if we join the party?”
The man’s black eyes raked all over her. “Why not. He’s almost dead anyway.”
“Can I have him? Please?” Drusilla asked.
“Sorry, sugar. This one is mine… you know how hell sacrifices go. Got a contract to fulfill. But you can watch,” Hermes said.
Drusilla started to wail and tear at her hair, stomping her foot like a petulant child. As much as she could annoy Darla, there was no way she’d let Dru rip out her hair. Going hunting with a bald woman would tarnish her image. Not to mention they’d never seduce their prey that way. Catching Drusilla’s hands, she fixed the man with her coyest gaze. “Are you sure we can’t persuade you?”
“Well… what do you have in mind?”
“I want him,” Dru said. “Can we turn him? Then he could have tea and cake with us every day.”
“Well, you need his essence, right?” Darla smiled as the man nodded. “See, if we turn him, he is pretty much damned, and he’d go to hell once he’s dusted… which is probably just a matter of time. Either way, you’ll get him. What do you say?”
Hermes mulled it over and finally shrugged. “Sure. Why not. Have at him.”
Drusilla squealed and rushed over to kneel next to the fallen boy. He was maybe a minute away from dying. Darla watched the man and his minions step through a portal until they blinked out of this plane of existence. It had been too long since they had a man within their circle since Angelus had gone and gotten himself cursed with a soul of all the ridiculous things. This one didn’t look like much. Kind of nerdy. Well, they could always dust him if he turned out to be a disappointment.
“He has such pretty insides.” Dru circled the wound in the boy’s belly before tearing her wrist open. Darla followed suit and together they forced their blood down his throat. Then his heart let out a last struggling beat.
TBC
Author's note: So, what do you think??? *is anxious*
Beta'd by the ever helpful and talented ladies dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Chapter 9
Smoothing down her skirt, Sallie Bennett stared at the mantle clock with a giddy feeling zinging along her nerves. Hermes would be here any moment, and then she’d be granted another year of immortality. And if a child had to die to help her cheat nature, then that was a small price to pay. The petty voice called conscience had stopped bothering her decades ago.
The tell-tale rumbling alerted her to the newcomer, and Sallie turned on her heel to bestow him with a calculating smile.
“Are you ready to take him… or her?” she asked.
“Hello to you too, Miss Bennett,” said the creature, once again transforming himself into a handsome man right before her eyes. How many times had she told him not to scatter the brimstone on her beige carpet? She’d just had it steam cleaned.
“Let’s skip the niceties. So who are you taking this time?”
“William Pratt, I believe is his name.”
Sallie struggled to recall the face to go along with the name. Then she remembered and arched a brow. “Why him if I may ask? You had said you wanted him specifically, so it makes me wonder.”
“He’s quite a threat to us, you know.”
Chilling laugh escaped her mouth, one that would make a lesser hell servant tremble. “William Pratt? A threat? Are you sure we’re talking about the same boy?”
Hermes shook his head and clasped his hands in front of him. “You’re forgetting something. He’s the only student not bound within the school’s barrier. His mother didn’t have the chance to sign the contract before she passed away.”
“I am well aware of that. But believe me, he would never even attempt to leave the school’s premises, so I don’t see--”
“Well, we want to tie up all the loose ends, don’t we? I left the symbol in front of his door, so the minions should be able to locate him with no trouble at all. They’re probably retrieving him as we speak.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to take Miss Lehane with you?” she asked.
“And why would I do that when I know how much trouble she is to you?”
The door swung open in that moment, and two disfigured creatures dragged in William’s unconscious body, followed by another two. Blood trickled down William’s face from a fresh cut in his eyebrow, threatening to make even more damage to her carpet. Sallie curled her lip in disdain at the sight and the minions’ disagreeable appearance. Their skin was covered with rough scabs and their spines protruded through it as they breathed harshly through their fang-filled jaws.
“Would you take it elsewhere now? You have what you came here for and my contract is therefore extended, right?” she asked.
“Of course. Till next year, Miss Bennett.” Hermes bowed with a mocking grin and gestured to the minions. “After me, boys.”
********
The first thing she noticed was that her head hurt. A lot. With a groan, Buffy sat up and furrowed her brows as she tried to think through the pounding headache. Someone-- no, something-- had hit her over the head before she could as much as scream, right before…
'God, William!'
The reality rushed into her aching brain with blinding clarity, and ignoring the strangely rapidly disappearing headache, Buffy sprang to her shaking legs and rushed out of the room. She had to do something, had to find him. What were those things? And why did they take him? What if they hurt him? What if…
'This is no good. Stop focusing on the what ifs. I got to find him. God, just let him be alright.'
Running down the stairs, she didn’t pause to think of what to do. There was no time to call for help that wouldn’t come. No time to scream and act the part of a helpless little girl. A force of fear and anger rose up deep inside, fueling her determination to tear apart anyone who dared to hurt William. It didn’t matter how small she was, how seemingly fragile. Right now, Buffy felt as if she could rip their heads off with her bare hands without much effort.
Stopping in the atrium, her breath echoing loudly in her ears, Buffy glanced around in panic, trying to look for any clues. She had no idea what she’d do if something bad happened to William, if she was too late to save him. He was already a part of her. The only person she’d ever felt close to.
Crossing the hall, Buffy decided to follow her gut’s feeling when she heard it. A slight noise; a shuffle of feet and a whisper of inhuman breaths. Ducking behind a statue, an unlikely group rounded the nearby corner, coming from the direction of the headmistress’ office and made their way towards the back exit of the school. There they were, the creatures out of horror movies, two of them dragging William as if he were anything but a human being.
Not thinking, Buffy darted out from behind the statue as fearless anger flashed through her veins, and she sneaked at them from behind. Before she could take a swing, one of the demons whipped around with a snarl, alerting her presence to the others. As she aimed a punch at the demon’s face, it caught her hand and threw her backwards. She landed on the floor with a wince.
“Let him go… now,” she said with what she hoped was confidence and a threat in her voice. She had to get herself and William out of this mess.
The man at the front turned around with an amused smile and leveled her with his cold gaze. “Is he a sweetheart of yours, little girl?” Hermes shrugged. “You know, you really shouldn’t be out and about at this hour. All kinds of… creatures lurk around. But as long as you’re here… get her.”
Before she could get to her feet, a demon launched itself at her with a hiss. Following her instincts, Buffy kicked it in the gut and felt her leg reverberate under the force of impact with the inhuman flesh. She watched with amazement as the demon flew several feet away.
'What the…'
The man’s face twisted into an ugly mask of anger as he snarled, “Get the boy out of here.” He nodded at one of his servants and gestured at the remaining three, leering as he did. “Restrain the Slayer and… make her watch.”
With that, he turned on his heel. Buffy helplessly watched as they dragged William through the door and into the gardens. Then her vision was swallowed by the three demons as they surrounded her with hungry growls, their claws flashing menacingly in the darkened hallway. Turning her attention to the demons, Buffy braced herself to at least attempt fighting them as they drew near. Her fingers trembled as she took in their faces. This all had to be a dream. Just like the one she’d had before waking to the alien force slinking through her veins. Demons didn’t exist. None of this was real.
The closest demon lunged at her. Buffy reacted before she could think of what she was doing. Her arm blocked his attack as she ducked to avoid the other one trying to tackle her from behind. Standing up, she twirled behind the first attacker and used his moment of distraction to kick him in the back. The demon crashed head first into the other one and they lay sprawled on the floor. Buffy kicked the third one in the head before jumping over the momentarily incapacitated creatures and rushing with a pounding heart to the backdoor exit.
Just as she was about to leap through the threshold, she was bounced back as the invisible force slammed into her, separating her from William.
'No!'
Springing back to her feet, Buffy slammed her fists against the barrier as she watched the world unravel before her vision. The sound of the demons behind her drew closer, but it didn’t matter. Maybe if she just beat the force long enough, she’d be able to go through.
She’d save him.
The demons caught up to her in a matter of a few seconds, and she felt her hands restrained in two iron grips as she was forced to her knees. Hermes stared at her. “What do you think? Shall I kill him or take him to Hell with me?”
Outside, William began to stir, and her panicked eyes met his for a second that seemed to last an eternity. She could see his confusion, the fear, but her struggles were futile in her position. Even if she could break free of the demons’ grasp, she could never get to William. The man’s lips parted to reveal a wicked grin as he bent down to William, whose wrists were tied above his head and held by the last hell minion.
The man drew out a sharp dagger as he muttered words Buffy couldn’t understand. Then he lifted it above his head and time seemed to stretch beyond reason and logic. All she could see was the slow descent of the knife, its sleek surface reflecting the gleam of the full moon as it swung down and sank into William’s gut.
It seemed so effortless. The ease with which William’s tender flesh gave under the sharp edge. The way his life started to pour out of his body. The blood rose on the surface, thick and red as it saturated the white t-shirt he’d worn to bed. The t-shirt her hands had wandered under just a few hours ago.
A scream tore out of William’s throat. It was all she could hear. All she could feel. Her arms fell slack at her sides as her world crumbled under the weight of helpless grief. William’s eyes fluttered open for a second as he stared into hers, and she whispered his name. She could barely hear the man’s laughter as he ordered his minions to kill her. William struggled for a futile second, the blood flowing from the tear in his gut as he struggled to get to her. To save her. He was dying and still, it was her life that mattered more to him.
The demons tore her away from the threshold. William’s ashen face, as the life drained away from him, would be the last thing she saw of him.
********
“Hurry, Grandma. The party is about to begin and my Prince is waiting for me,” Drusilla said, as she glided across the lawn towards the old building overgrown with vines.
“I told you to stop calling me that.” Darla rolled her eyes, but followed Drusilla anyway. It was no use to reason with her when she was so hell bent on something. And a little mayhem just might be something to tide over the boredom for a while.
The scent of blood hit Darla’s nostrils a few seconds before she spotted the scene. A young boy was curled up on the ground, bleeding to death. Some demons performing a sacrificial ritual. It looked like fun. They came to a stop, and Drusilla clapped her hands and giggled. One of these days, Darla would cut her hands off if she kept doing that. One could only take so much clapping.
“Well, look at that,” Darla said slyly and swayed her way over to the tall, handsome man. “Mind if we join the party?”
The man’s black eyes raked all over her. “Why not. He’s almost dead anyway.”
“Can I have him? Please?” Drusilla asked.
“Sorry, sugar. This one is mine… you know how hell sacrifices go. Got a contract to fulfill. But you can watch,” Hermes said.
Drusilla started to wail and tear at her hair, stomping her foot like a petulant child. As much as she could annoy Darla, there was no way she’d let Dru rip out her hair. Going hunting with a bald woman would tarnish her image. Not to mention they’d never seduce their prey that way. Catching Drusilla’s hands, she fixed the man with her coyest gaze. “Are you sure we can’t persuade you?”
“Well… what do you have in mind?”
“I want him,” Dru said. “Can we turn him? Then he could have tea and cake with us every day.”
“Well, you need his essence, right?” Darla smiled as the man nodded. “See, if we turn him, he is pretty much damned, and he’d go to hell once he’s dusted… which is probably just a matter of time. Either way, you’ll get him. What do you say?”
Hermes mulled it over and finally shrugged. “Sure. Why not. Have at him.”
Drusilla squealed and rushed over to kneel next to the fallen boy. He was maybe a minute away from dying. Darla watched the man and his minions step through a portal until they blinked out of this plane of existence. It had been too long since they had a man within their circle since Angelus had gone and gotten himself cursed with a soul of all the ridiculous things. This one didn’t look like much. Kind of nerdy. Well, they could always dust him if he turned out to be a disappointment.
“He has such pretty insides.” Dru circled the wound in the boy’s belly before tearing her wrist open. Darla followed suit and together they forced their blood down his throat. Then his heart let out a last struggling beat.
TBC
Author's note: So, what do you think??? *is anxious*
Chapter ten
Author's note: Beta'd by the very talented ladies dawnofme and Mabel Marsters. Hope you guys enjoy! :)
Chapter 10
The smell of musty old books permeated the whole apartment. Buffy tugged at the loose thread of the well-worn sofa, staring at the bland colour of tea swirling in a small cup that she was clutching like a lifeline. Her fingers left a smear of blood on its white surface.
The sofa depressed under the additional weight of someone sitting down next to her, and the tea lapped at the cup’s rim. Her hands were shaking.
“Hey, B. So… how are you holding up?” Faith asked and repressed the urge to punch Buffy’s shoulder in a show of camaraderie.
“Fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Faith wouldn’t feel half as unsettled if there was at least a trace of sarcasm in Buffy’s voice. She’d been acting this way ever since they got out of the school. Ever since they’d followed the stuffy British guy to his condo.
'Man, that had been some weird shit.'
********
Three hours earlier
Faith woke up to the sound of screaming and a struggle coming from below. Running a hand through her tussled hair, she glanced over at the boy lying next to her and rolled her eyes. They never seemed to get the hint to get lost after the fun was over. She had half a mind to kick him off the bed, but there was no time for a quasi lovers’ quarrel right now.
Getting out of the bed, Faith slipped into jeans and a black top before heading out the door. The corridor was yawning with emptiness, all the doors firmly shut. She seemed to be the only one curious or awake enough to investigate. Or maybe stupid enough. Faith grimaced and raised her chin in defiance.
'Bunch of losers.'
She never turned down a good scuffle, though it was probably just some hysterical chick getting paddled by Miss Bennett for being out and about at this hour. Well, she never turned down being entertained either. The wooden stairs creaked beneath her feet, and she winced slightly, pausing for a second.
'The last thing I need is to be caught by that vindictive old bitch too.'
As she sneaked down the last set of stairs, animalistic snarls reached her ears. Since when did they have dogs? The snarls turned into whimpers just before she rounded the corner, and her eyes widened in horror.
'What the… B?'
Her roommate was there, barely a blur of blonde hair and high kicks as she pounded some sort of… creatures. Faith staggered backwards as one of them flew several feet in the air and landed in front of her. She jumped back as its jaws snapped at her ankle just in time to avoid losing her leg. Eyes darting around, Faith snapped out of the daze and lunged to grip an ugly relic resting on a narrow pedestal. It was heavy and sturdy as she raised it above her head and smashed it against the creatures’ head with a satisfying crack. Her eyes followed the spreading black liquid pooling around the now disfigured skull.
Just as she looked up to see if Buffy was okay, her stomach lurched in nausea at the sight that met her gaze. Buffy rammed her fist into the creatures’ chest and ripped out its black heart. The demon fell at her feet, next to its second fallen comrade whose head was rolling on the floor a couple of feet away.
Hesitantly making her way towards Buffy, Faith sharply inhaled when she met her eyes. They seemed empty. Feral. The only sound was the slow drip of blood coming from Buffy’s clenched fists.
“What the hell are you doing?” Faith asked. Now was not the time to be subtle.
'Here’s hoping she won’t rip my head off too.'
“We have to burn them,” Buffy said. Her voice was indifferent, almost robotic. Faith shrugged off the weirdness.
“I’m always up for a bit of fire. So what are we burning? The corpses?”
“The contracts. It’s what is keeping us inside. We need to get rid of the barrier.”
“Huh?”
Buffy didn’t answer, she just kept marching. Straight towards Miss Bennett’s office.
“Uh… B. Are you sure we’re going in the right direction? Not that I’m not up for a bit of rock and roll, but-”
“Nobody is forcing you to follow me.”
“Gee, what got into you? And care to tell me what the hell those things were?”
“Demons from Hell.”
“Ah… now that makes sense. I gotta say: you were quite a badass, what with pounding the shit out of them. And here I thought you were all innocent and sweet.”
Buffy didn’t answer as she kicked down the door of the headmistress’ office. Faith whistled in appreciation at the display of violence while they crossed the threshold.
“Got any matches?” Buffy asked in the same dispassionate voice.
Faith fumbled in the pockets of her jeans and drew out a lighter with a sly grin on her face. “Sure do.”
She watched as Buffy literally trashed the office. And where was Miss Bennett anyway? They’d get really walloped for this if they were caught. Papers flew everywhere as Buffy systematically pulled out all the drawers and spilled their contents. Gathering all the papers she could find in her hands, Buffy tossed them in a tin basket and snatched the lighter from Faith’s hand before she could blink.
There was a snick and the fire sprang to life, its light illuminating Buffy’s pale face and eyes devoid of any emotion. She lit a paper, watching the fire consume its edges as they curled and twisted before they turned into ash. Buffy dropped the burning paper into the basket, and the flames devoured its contents.
Faith plopped down into the plush leather chair with a sigh and put her feet up on the polished surface of the table. With a grin, she swiped off the pedantically ordered pencils and books to the floor.
“This is fun. You should have mentioned you were this naughty. What are we doing next?” Faith asked, warming up to the deviant feeling of possible vandalism.
Buffy was already running out the door.
Faith cursed and sprang to her feet, following her strangely acting roommate. In that moment, the fire alarm switched on, and water started to rain down from the sprinklers in the ceilings. She could hear the voices of the students as they reluctantly made it down the stairs, all of them acting as if they’d rather burn than come out of their rooms.
Faith ignored them and rushed out after Buffy, straight through the back exit of the school and into the gardens. Buffy was sitting on the ground, her back to Faith.
She approached her warily and sat down next to her. “B?”
“There’s so much blood,” she whispered and curled her fingers into the stained grass, unconsciously tearing it out of the ground.
Faith frowned. “How do you know it’s blood? Might be paint or something.”
“They… hurt William.”
So that was what sent Buffy into the crazy out of character state of mind. It all made a very macabre sense. There was a lot of blood now that Faith focused her attention on it. Too much blood. Whatever happened, there was a high chance William hadn’t survived and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable. As if she was intruding in on a private moment of grief.
Except, Buffy wasn’t crying. She didn’t do anything besides sit there looking for all purposes lost. Maybe she was in a shock.
'Should I slap her?'
Faith shifted slightly, trying to decide what to do to make her snap out of whatever haze Buffy had fallen in. It couldn’t be healthy to suppress her emotions like this. And if William was truly dead, where was his body?
Just as she was about to speak, the distant sound of sirens filled the night.
“Buffy Summers?” the solemn man asked.
Faith rose to her feet, suddenly feeling protective of her roommate. “Who wants to know?”
The man’s eyes flitted towards Buffy with concern, but then he was staring at Faith.
“My name is Rupert Giles, and if this is Buffy, she needs to come with me right away.”
********
Present time
Buffy took a sip of her tea. It had gone cold and refused to slide soothingly through the lump in her throat.
The man, Giles—he’d said his name was, sat in the opposite chair and spoke to Faith. They suddenly went quiet and as she raised her eyes, Buffy realized they were staring at her with pity. What did they feel pity for? There was nothing wrong with her.
“Umm… Buffy. If you don’t mind, I’d feel better if you stayed here tonight. Your friend is welcome to stay too of course,” Giles said and interlaced his fingers. “As you are well aware… there have been some supernatural occurrences that escaped the Council’s notice.” Giles cleared his throat. “Perhaps you’d wish to ask some questions about it or about your newfound powers?”
“Are my things here?”
“I took them along with mine, B,” Faith said and gestured in the general direction of a bedroom where she’d put them.
“Did you take William’s too?”
Faith traded a troubled look with Giles and nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“Good. He might want them once I find him,” Buffy said and stood up.
“Buffy…” Giles started.
“I’m tired. Could we maybe talk about all the things that happened tomorrow? And… thank you…. for all of this, but… I just want to sleep.”
“Of course. You know where the guest room is. We’ll talk tomorrow,” Giles said.
Buffy smiled at him faintly and ventured to the guest room.
Once she closed the door behind her, she let out a heavy sigh. The darkness soothed her, hid her from the enquiring glances shot her way. She didn’t need their pity, nor did she want them to prod at the raw wound in her heart that she was barely holding closed. She refused to cry, to give in to the suffocating weight pressing steadily down on her chest. There would be no tears.
She was the Slayer, apparently. The Chosen One, sworn to protect the world from demons and vampires. How could she protect the whole world when she couldn’t even save him?
'No! He’s not dead. Can’t be. I’ll find a way to bring him back.'
She found herself thrown into the world of the impossible. Magic and nightmares come to life. Who said death was final? What if William wasn’t dead at all? He might be somewhere, a hell dimension the man had taken him to, waiting for her to come for him. There was no time to break down and grieve when there still might be a chance of seeing him smile at her again. Right?
Lying down upon the bed, Buffy closed her eyes and refused to believe she’d never feel William’s lips against hers. Never take in his scent again or see him blush.
At the same time her eyes fluttered shut, six feet under ground, William’s eyes opened. His blue gaze frantically darted around the dense darkness of the confined space as he forced in a shuddering breath.
TBC
Chapter 10
The smell of musty old books permeated the whole apartment. Buffy tugged at the loose thread of the well-worn sofa, staring at the bland colour of tea swirling in a small cup that she was clutching like a lifeline. Her fingers left a smear of blood on its white surface.
The sofa depressed under the additional weight of someone sitting down next to her, and the tea lapped at the cup’s rim. Her hands were shaking.
“Hey, B. So… how are you holding up?” Faith asked and repressed the urge to punch Buffy’s shoulder in a show of camaraderie.
“Fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Faith wouldn’t feel half as unsettled if there was at least a trace of sarcasm in Buffy’s voice. She’d been acting this way ever since they got out of the school. Ever since they’d followed the stuffy British guy to his condo.
'Man, that had been some weird shit.'
********
Three hours earlier
Faith woke up to the sound of screaming and a struggle coming from below. Running a hand through her tussled hair, she glanced over at the boy lying next to her and rolled her eyes. They never seemed to get the hint to get lost after the fun was over. She had half a mind to kick him off the bed, but there was no time for a quasi lovers’ quarrel right now.
Getting out of the bed, Faith slipped into jeans and a black top before heading out the door. The corridor was yawning with emptiness, all the doors firmly shut. She seemed to be the only one curious or awake enough to investigate. Or maybe stupid enough. Faith grimaced and raised her chin in defiance.
'Bunch of losers.'
She never turned down a good scuffle, though it was probably just some hysterical chick getting paddled by Miss Bennett for being out and about at this hour. Well, she never turned down being entertained either. The wooden stairs creaked beneath her feet, and she winced slightly, pausing for a second.
'The last thing I need is to be caught by that vindictive old bitch too.'
As she sneaked down the last set of stairs, animalistic snarls reached her ears. Since when did they have dogs? The snarls turned into whimpers just before she rounded the corner, and her eyes widened in horror.
'What the… B?'
Her roommate was there, barely a blur of blonde hair and high kicks as she pounded some sort of… creatures. Faith staggered backwards as one of them flew several feet in the air and landed in front of her. She jumped back as its jaws snapped at her ankle just in time to avoid losing her leg. Eyes darting around, Faith snapped out of the daze and lunged to grip an ugly relic resting on a narrow pedestal. It was heavy and sturdy as she raised it above her head and smashed it against the creatures’ head with a satisfying crack. Her eyes followed the spreading black liquid pooling around the now disfigured skull.
Just as she looked up to see if Buffy was okay, her stomach lurched in nausea at the sight that met her gaze. Buffy rammed her fist into the creatures’ chest and ripped out its black heart. The demon fell at her feet, next to its second fallen comrade whose head was rolling on the floor a couple of feet away.
Hesitantly making her way towards Buffy, Faith sharply inhaled when she met her eyes. They seemed empty. Feral. The only sound was the slow drip of blood coming from Buffy’s clenched fists.
“What the hell are you doing?” Faith asked. Now was not the time to be subtle.
'Here’s hoping she won’t rip my head off too.'
“We have to burn them,” Buffy said. Her voice was indifferent, almost robotic. Faith shrugged off the weirdness.
“I’m always up for a bit of fire. So what are we burning? The corpses?”
“The contracts. It’s what is keeping us inside. We need to get rid of the barrier.”
“Huh?”
Buffy didn’t answer, she just kept marching. Straight towards Miss Bennett’s office.
“Uh… B. Are you sure we’re going in the right direction? Not that I’m not up for a bit of rock and roll, but-”
“Nobody is forcing you to follow me.”
“Gee, what got into you? And care to tell me what the hell those things were?”
“Demons from Hell.”
“Ah… now that makes sense. I gotta say: you were quite a badass, what with pounding the shit out of them. And here I thought you were all innocent and sweet.”
Buffy didn’t answer as she kicked down the door of the headmistress’ office. Faith whistled in appreciation at the display of violence while they crossed the threshold.
“Got any matches?” Buffy asked in the same dispassionate voice.
Faith fumbled in the pockets of her jeans and drew out a lighter with a sly grin on her face. “Sure do.”
She watched as Buffy literally trashed the office. And where was Miss Bennett anyway? They’d get really walloped for this if they were caught. Papers flew everywhere as Buffy systematically pulled out all the drawers and spilled their contents. Gathering all the papers she could find in her hands, Buffy tossed them in a tin basket and snatched the lighter from Faith’s hand before she could blink.
There was a snick and the fire sprang to life, its light illuminating Buffy’s pale face and eyes devoid of any emotion. She lit a paper, watching the fire consume its edges as they curled and twisted before they turned into ash. Buffy dropped the burning paper into the basket, and the flames devoured its contents.
Faith plopped down into the plush leather chair with a sigh and put her feet up on the polished surface of the table. With a grin, she swiped off the pedantically ordered pencils and books to the floor.
“This is fun. You should have mentioned you were this naughty. What are we doing next?” Faith asked, warming up to the deviant feeling of possible vandalism.
Buffy was already running out the door.
Faith cursed and sprang to her feet, following her strangely acting roommate. In that moment, the fire alarm switched on, and water started to rain down from the sprinklers in the ceilings. She could hear the voices of the students as they reluctantly made it down the stairs, all of them acting as if they’d rather burn than come out of their rooms.
Faith ignored them and rushed out after Buffy, straight through the back exit of the school and into the gardens. Buffy was sitting on the ground, her back to Faith.
She approached her warily and sat down next to her. “B?”
“There’s so much blood,” she whispered and curled her fingers into the stained grass, unconsciously tearing it out of the ground.
Faith frowned. “How do you know it’s blood? Might be paint or something.”
“They… hurt William.”
So that was what sent Buffy into the crazy out of character state of mind. It all made a very macabre sense. There was a lot of blood now that Faith focused her attention on it. Too much blood. Whatever happened, there was a high chance William hadn’t survived and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable. As if she was intruding in on a private moment of grief.
Except, Buffy wasn’t crying. She didn’t do anything besides sit there looking for all purposes lost. Maybe she was in a shock.
'Should I slap her?'
Faith shifted slightly, trying to decide what to do to make her snap out of whatever haze Buffy had fallen in. It couldn’t be healthy to suppress her emotions like this. And if William was truly dead, where was his body?
Just as she was about to speak, the distant sound of sirens filled the night.
“Buffy Summers?” the solemn man asked.
Faith rose to her feet, suddenly feeling protective of her roommate. “Who wants to know?”
The man’s eyes flitted towards Buffy with concern, but then he was staring at Faith.
“My name is Rupert Giles, and if this is Buffy, she needs to come with me right away.”
********
Present time
Buffy took a sip of her tea. It had gone cold and refused to slide soothingly through the lump in her throat.
The man, Giles—he’d said his name was, sat in the opposite chair and spoke to Faith. They suddenly went quiet and as she raised her eyes, Buffy realized they were staring at her with pity. What did they feel pity for? There was nothing wrong with her.
“Umm… Buffy. If you don’t mind, I’d feel better if you stayed here tonight. Your friend is welcome to stay too of course,” Giles said and interlaced his fingers. “As you are well aware… there have been some supernatural occurrences that escaped the Council’s notice.” Giles cleared his throat. “Perhaps you’d wish to ask some questions about it or about your newfound powers?”
“Are my things here?”
“I took them along with mine, B,” Faith said and gestured in the general direction of a bedroom where she’d put them.
“Did you take William’s too?”
Faith traded a troubled look with Giles and nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“Good. He might want them once I find him,” Buffy said and stood up.
“Buffy…” Giles started.
“I’m tired. Could we maybe talk about all the things that happened tomorrow? And… thank you…. for all of this, but… I just want to sleep.”
“Of course. You know where the guest room is. We’ll talk tomorrow,” Giles said.
Buffy smiled at him faintly and ventured to the guest room.
Once she closed the door behind her, she let out a heavy sigh. The darkness soothed her, hid her from the enquiring glances shot her way. She didn’t need their pity, nor did she want them to prod at the raw wound in her heart that she was barely holding closed. She refused to cry, to give in to the suffocating weight pressing steadily down on her chest. There would be no tears.
She was the Slayer, apparently. The Chosen One, sworn to protect the world from demons and vampires. How could she protect the whole world when she couldn’t even save him?
'No! He’s not dead. Can’t be. I’ll find a way to bring him back.'
She found herself thrown into the world of the impossible. Magic and nightmares come to life. Who said death was final? What if William wasn’t dead at all? He might be somewhere, a hell dimension the man had taken him to, waiting for her to come for him. There was no time to break down and grieve when there still might be a chance of seeing him smile at her again. Right?
Lying down upon the bed, Buffy closed her eyes and refused to believe she’d never feel William’s lips against hers. Never take in his scent again or see him blush.
At the same time her eyes fluttered shut, six feet under ground, William’s eyes opened. His blue gaze frantically darted around the dense darkness of the confined space as he forced in a shuddering breath.
TBC
Chapter eleven
Chapter 11
Buffy pounded the bag in Giles’ basement with relentless intensity. Her shoulders were starting to ache from the impact.
“How long have you been here?” Giles’ voice came from the doorway.
Without stopping the assault on the bag, Buffy said, “An hour, I think.”
“Ah. I see.” He entered the room and sat on a chair. “Buffy, I think we should talk.”
Finally, Buffy stopped and turned to face him, wincing as she stretched her sore muscles. “Okay, talk.”
“Um… it is about you staying here-”
“We’ll move out soon, I promise.”
“No. No that’s not what I was going to say. I was actually going to ask you to stay here permanently… if that’s fine with you. Faith is welcome to stay too if she has nowhere to go. I think it would be the best given the current situation. It would be easier for you as a new Slayer to gain the necessary knowledge. I have several books that would be-”
“I’m not really a book person, Giles. You’ll be the brain and I’ll be the muscle.” She attempted a smile though it felt more like a grimace. She fidgeted with the bandages around her hands, picking at the edges as she contemplated the question that had been plaguing her all night. “Can I… ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“Umm… the magic. Does it really exist?”
Giles smiled and pushed the glasses higher up his nose. “Yes, it does. Any particular reason you’re asking?”
“No… well… yes. If one would want to maybe open a portal to a different world, figuratively speaking of course… how would that work?”
Giles frowned and gazed at her seriously. “Portal? That is rather specific, I dare say. There is an infinite number of alternate universes and dimensions. They are always in motion, changing and to pinpoint an exact one-- even if you know which one-- requires a certain level of skills. There aren’t many people wielding that kind of power.”
Buffy’s face fell before she latched onto the last thin thread of hope. “But there are witches that can do that, right? Someone that can help-”
“Yes, but you must understand that to tangle with such people isn’t always wise. Many of them have gone off the deep end or are prone to eventually, and those who have learned to control the power they have don’t use it for personal gain. Why is it that you ask?”
“I don’t care if it isn’t wise. Please, help me! You have to help me. You can call someone. I-I know you can. Please.”
Giles stood up and approached her. Faith had told him that Buffy had lost someone close to her the night he’d met her, but why ever would she need to open a portal? “What is it?”
“They took him… a man… h-he said something about taking William… to Hell. I can’t leave him there. What if he’s waiting for me? You said I was the Slayer. I can do this! I can save him.”
Giles shook his head and stepped closer, squeezing her shoulder. “The Council has learned of the deals your headmistress made with a certain notorious servant from Hell called Hermes. He is believed to be a sort of shepherd if you will… he escorts the soul into the Hell. We had our mystics search the place for residual energies. It seems like there has been a ritual, but it hadn’t been completed. Buffy, no human soul went through the portal he’d opened.”
No soul. That meant he hadn’t taken William with him. William was truly dead.
“But you said the magic was real. You can have someone make him alive again, can’t you? A s-spell.”
Giles sighed and took off his glasses to clean them with the tail of his shirt. “Resurrection spells never go right. It is against the natural order of things. We must not disturb the balance that way. There would be tremendous consequences. There is no guarantee he’d come back normal. He might be damaged forever. You really wish to do such a thing to William? To be so selfish and tear him out of rest?”
Buffy’s eyes filled with tears that she refused to let fall, as she whispered, “No.”
“I cannot imagine what you’re going through, but the only thing I can tell you is that it takes time. Losing someone we love is never easy. It is painful and hard. But if you wish to talk to anyone… I’m here for you, Buffy.”
Buffy barely felt it as he awkwardly patted her back before he left her alone. Her knees buckled under the weight of sudden realization, and she collapsed to the floor.
William was gone.
*********
He panicked, scratching at the lid above him and ignoring the pain of the splinters embedding underneath his nails. Any thoughts of keeping his breathing calm and even to preserve the oxygen flew out of his head. It was then that he realized something.
Something horrifying.
His heart wasn’t beating.
William froze. Silence unlike anything he’d ever experienced settled upon him like a shroud, suffocating and thick. There was no steady heartbeat resonating within his veins to break it. He felt so empty. Cold, like the earth he’d been buried in. A shuddering breath passed his lips, an echo of the life ripped away from him.
There were walls pressing in on him. He snapped out of the shock from sheer self preservation and pounded his fists against the coffin’s lid, blood trickling down the back of his hands. His vision started to blacken around the edges as terror threatened to engulf his rational thought. Squeezing his eyes shut, William continued to beat against the solid wood, relief suffusing him as he felt it start to give way above his unrelenting fists.
A torrent of soil poured in, momentarily blinding him. Clawing his way out of the grave, William finally felt the chilly sweep of a breeze caress his face. He drew in an unnecessary breath, his whole body shaking with something he couldn’t name as he collapsed on the grass.
Where was he? How did he…
'Buffy!'
He had to go back. Had to help her. Make sure she was all right. Except, it was too late, wasn’t it? He’d seen those demons drag her away, right before his eyes closed as the blackness swallowed him whole. He should have been dead too. He’d felt the pull of eternal rest. Was this some kind of punishment?
“There he is, my Black Knight,” said a female voice.
William struggled to his feet, woozy and ravenous.
“Who are you?” he stared at her.
“I’m your Mummy. Me and Darla. We’re going to be a happy family.”
The dark woman twirled and laughed. Before he could blink, she was standing in front of him, her fingers trailing down his cheeks. William flinched and stepped back, trying to escape the nausea from her touch. It wasn’t a caress of affection. It was proprietary. Her eyes flashed golden for a second and her growl reverberated deep inside his chest, tugging him forward. He was nothing but a puppet unable to control his own instincts.
“No need to fret. Come here, my Prince.”
Unable to do anything else, he stepped closer in spite of his wishes. Trying to suppress the hollowness in his stomach making him want to double over with the pain of his hunger, he closed his eyes as she ran her hands through his hair.
For a moment he tried to imagine it was Buffy. Her fingers playing with his curls like she always had. Her green eyes luminous as she gazed at him with tenderness.
Pain lanced through his cheek and he could feel droplets of blood trickling down to stain his skin. His eyes shot open to meet the woman’s distorted features and yellow eyes full of petulant anger.
“Stop thinking of her! She’s dead. No sunshine for my boy. She’s surrounded by darkness, I can’t see her.”
William stared, too shocked to do anything else. “W-what are you? And how did you-”
She giggled suddenly, her mood obviously volatile. “We’re vampires. Born to slash and bash and paint the little humans with such pretty pretty colours.”
“W-what? You’re crazy!”
Another woman materialized from the shadows to grace him with a sly grin. “Our Drusilla is mad as a Hatter but she’s got a point.”
William watched her lick the blood lingering on her bottom lip. Instead of disgust and fear, something in him roared at the sight, his every cell pulsing with the sudden need to consume.
Rip apart.
Feed.
“I’m Darla. And this,” she pointed to the brunette, “is Drusilla.”
“Did you bring him the pretty little girl?”
“Yes.” Darla reached into the shadows and pulled out the unconscious form of a young girl. “I got a bit hungry on the way here though.”
William’s eyes zeroed in on the twin punctures on the girl’s slender neck, the blood smeared around the wound heightening all his senses to a painful sharpness. The girl’s slow pulse was thundering in his ears. Licking his lips as he slowly stalked towards the fallen prey, his whole being screamed at him to take her life.
He dropped to his knees at the girl’s side, his stomach growling as he took her into his arms and nuzzled her neck. A growl clawed out of his throat as he inhaled the irresistible aroma of blood. Sweet. The embodiment of life. Then William raised his head and for the first time registered the girl’s appearance. Her hair was the same as Buffy’s had been. Golden and silky to the touch. The girl’s frame was so petite and vulnerable in his strong hold. Just like hers.
The rush of emotion and memories threatened to choke him, and he could feel the prickle of tears threatening to fall.
“What are you waiting for? Just feed already,” Darla said impatiently.
“Can’t.” William squeezed his eyes shut. What would Buffy think if she could see him now? He was nothing but a monster.
Darla threw her hands up in the air and glared at Drusilla. “You really know how to pick them, don’t you? And to think I helped you sire him.”
Drusilla knelt at his side. “She’s not her.”
William glanced at her in surprise and frowned, still feeling the prickle of his fangs cutting into his bottom lip. He was so very hungry.
The girl chose the moment to stir in his arms and her eyes flickered open. They were the wrong colour. Her brown gaze was filled with fear as she struggled weakly to break his hold.
“Look at her, pet. She’s a lamb for you to eat. Fear makes the blood sing and taste like cinnamon,” Drusilla whispered. “Take her.”
Anger flared up in him, consuming him. It felt good to be absorbed in rage. If he could hold on to the anger, he wouldn’t feel the excruciating hollowness of sorrow Buffy’s death left him with. How dare this girl have hair like Buffy? How dare she live when his love’s light had been snuffed? She really was but a lamb. Food. And she’d pay for not being her.
William gripped the girl harder and sank his teeth into her neck as she let out a desperate scream. The blood flowed freely into his mouth, filling his body with life and strength unlike anything he’d ever felt. It was pure ambrosia.
It didn’t fill the emptiness in his heart. The girl’s heart fell silent and he tossed her corpse aside.
He really was a monster and there was no turning back. He’d truly lost Buffy now. No one to want to be a better man for. He hadn’t saved her and now he had to pay. There would be no Heaven for someone like him. They had been torn apart forever.
Putting on a mask of determination, William swore that every being in the world would suffer along with him.
There was nothing else to live for.
TBC
Buffy pounded the bag in Giles’ basement with relentless intensity. Her shoulders were starting to ache from the impact.
“How long have you been here?” Giles’ voice came from the doorway.
Without stopping the assault on the bag, Buffy said, “An hour, I think.”
“Ah. I see.” He entered the room and sat on a chair. “Buffy, I think we should talk.”
Finally, Buffy stopped and turned to face him, wincing as she stretched her sore muscles. “Okay, talk.”
“Um… it is about you staying here-”
“We’ll move out soon, I promise.”
“No. No that’s not what I was going to say. I was actually going to ask you to stay here permanently… if that’s fine with you. Faith is welcome to stay too if she has nowhere to go. I think it would be the best given the current situation. It would be easier for you as a new Slayer to gain the necessary knowledge. I have several books that would be-”
“I’m not really a book person, Giles. You’ll be the brain and I’ll be the muscle.” She attempted a smile though it felt more like a grimace. She fidgeted with the bandages around her hands, picking at the edges as she contemplated the question that had been plaguing her all night. “Can I… ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“Umm… the magic. Does it really exist?”
Giles smiled and pushed the glasses higher up his nose. “Yes, it does. Any particular reason you’re asking?”
“No… well… yes. If one would want to maybe open a portal to a different world, figuratively speaking of course… how would that work?”
Giles frowned and gazed at her seriously. “Portal? That is rather specific, I dare say. There is an infinite number of alternate universes and dimensions. They are always in motion, changing and to pinpoint an exact one-- even if you know which one-- requires a certain level of skills. There aren’t many people wielding that kind of power.”
Buffy’s face fell before she latched onto the last thin thread of hope. “But there are witches that can do that, right? Someone that can help-”
“Yes, but you must understand that to tangle with such people isn’t always wise. Many of them have gone off the deep end or are prone to eventually, and those who have learned to control the power they have don’t use it for personal gain. Why is it that you ask?”
“I don’t care if it isn’t wise. Please, help me! You have to help me. You can call someone. I-I know you can. Please.”
Giles stood up and approached her. Faith had told him that Buffy had lost someone close to her the night he’d met her, but why ever would she need to open a portal? “What is it?”
“They took him… a man… h-he said something about taking William… to Hell. I can’t leave him there. What if he’s waiting for me? You said I was the Slayer. I can do this! I can save him.”
Giles shook his head and stepped closer, squeezing her shoulder. “The Council has learned of the deals your headmistress made with a certain notorious servant from Hell called Hermes. He is believed to be a sort of shepherd if you will… he escorts the soul into the Hell. We had our mystics search the place for residual energies. It seems like there has been a ritual, but it hadn’t been completed. Buffy, no human soul went through the portal he’d opened.”
No soul. That meant he hadn’t taken William with him. William was truly dead.
“But you said the magic was real. You can have someone make him alive again, can’t you? A s-spell.”
Giles sighed and took off his glasses to clean them with the tail of his shirt. “Resurrection spells never go right. It is against the natural order of things. We must not disturb the balance that way. There would be tremendous consequences. There is no guarantee he’d come back normal. He might be damaged forever. You really wish to do such a thing to William? To be so selfish and tear him out of rest?”
Buffy’s eyes filled with tears that she refused to let fall, as she whispered, “No.”
“I cannot imagine what you’re going through, but the only thing I can tell you is that it takes time. Losing someone we love is never easy. It is painful and hard. But if you wish to talk to anyone… I’m here for you, Buffy.”
Buffy barely felt it as he awkwardly patted her back before he left her alone. Her knees buckled under the weight of sudden realization, and she collapsed to the floor.
William was gone.
*********
He panicked, scratching at the lid above him and ignoring the pain of the splinters embedding underneath his nails. Any thoughts of keeping his breathing calm and even to preserve the oxygen flew out of his head. It was then that he realized something.
Something horrifying.
His heart wasn’t beating.
William froze. Silence unlike anything he’d ever experienced settled upon him like a shroud, suffocating and thick. There was no steady heartbeat resonating within his veins to break it. He felt so empty. Cold, like the earth he’d been buried in. A shuddering breath passed his lips, an echo of the life ripped away from him.
There were walls pressing in on him. He snapped out of the shock from sheer self preservation and pounded his fists against the coffin’s lid, blood trickling down the back of his hands. His vision started to blacken around the edges as terror threatened to engulf his rational thought. Squeezing his eyes shut, William continued to beat against the solid wood, relief suffusing him as he felt it start to give way above his unrelenting fists.
A torrent of soil poured in, momentarily blinding him. Clawing his way out of the grave, William finally felt the chilly sweep of a breeze caress his face. He drew in an unnecessary breath, his whole body shaking with something he couldn’t name as he collapsed on the grass.
Where was he? How did he…
'Buffy!'
He had to go back. Had to help her. Make sure she was all right. Except, it was too late, wasn’t it? He’d seen those demons drag her away, right before his eyes closed as the blackness swallowed him whole. He should have been dead too. He’d felt the pull of eternal rest. Was this some kind of punishment?
“There he is, my Black Knight,” said a female voice.
William struggled to his feet, woozy and ravenous.
“Who are you?” he stared at her.
“I’m your Mummy. Me and Darla. We’re going to be a happy family.”
The dark woman twirled and laughed. Before he could blink, she was standing in front of him, her fingers trailing down his cheeks. William flinched and stepped back, trying to escape the nausea from her touch. It wasn’t a caress of affection. It was proprietary. Her eyes flashed golden for a second and her growl reverberated deep inside his chest, tugging him forward. He was nothing but a puppet unable to control his own instincts.
“No need to fret. Come here, my Prince.”
Unable to do anything else, he stepped closer in spite of his wishes. Trying to suppress the hollowness in his stomach making him want to double over with the pain of his hunger, he closed his eyes as she ran her hands through his hair.
For a moment he tried to imagine it was Buffy. Her fingers playing with his curls like she always had. Her green eyes luminous as she gazed at him with tenderness.
Pain lanced through his cheek and he could feel droplets of blood trickling down to stain his skin. His eyes shot open to meet the woman’s distorted features and yellow eyes full of petulant anger.
“Stop thinking of her! She’s dead. No sunshine for my boy. She’s surrounded by darkness, I can’t see her.”
William stared, too shocked to do anything else. “W-what are you? And how did you-”
She giggled suddenly, her mood obviously volatile. “We’re vampires. Born to slash and bash and paint the little humans with such pretty pretty colours.”
“W-what? You’re crazy!”
Another woman materialized from the shadows to grace him with a sly grin. “Our Drusilla is mad as a Hatter but she’s got a point.”
William watched her lick the blood lingering on her bottom lip. Instead of disgust and fear, something in him roared at the sight, his every cell pulsing with the sudden need to consume.
Rip apart.
Feed.
“I’m Darla. And this,” she pointed to the brunette, “is Drusilla.”
“Did you bring him the pretty little girl?”
“Yes.” Darla reached into the shadows and pulled out the unconscious form of a young girl. “I got a bit hungry on the way here though.”
William’s eyes zeroed in on the twin punctures on the girl’s slender neck, the blood smeared around the wound heightening all his senses to a painful sharpness. The girl’s slow pulse was thundering in his ears. Licking his lips as he slowly stalked towards the fallen prey, his whole being screamed at him to take her life.
He dropped to his knees at the girl’s side, his stomach growling as he took her into his arms and nuzzled her neck. A growl clawed out of his throat as he inhaled the irresistible aroma of blood. Sweet. The embodiment of life. Then William raised his head and for the first time registered the girl’s appearance. Her hair was the same as Buffy’s had been. Golden and silky to the touch. The girl’s frame was so petite and vulnerable in his strong hold. Just like hers.
The rush of emotion and memories threatened to choke him, and he could feel the prickle of tears threatening to fall.
“What are you waiting for? Just feed already,” Darla said impatiently.
“Can’t.” William squeezed his eyes shut. What would Buffy think if she could see him now? He was nothing but a monster.
Darla threw her hands up in the air and glared at Drusilla. “You really know how to pick them, don’t you? And to think I helped you sire him.”
Drusilla knelt at his side. “She’s not her.”
William glanced at her in surprise and frowned, still feeling the prickle of his fangs cutting into his bottom lip. He was so very hungry.
The girl chose the moment to stir in his arms and her eyes flickered open. They were the wrong colour. Her brown gaze was filled with fear as she struggled weakly to break his hold.
“Look at her, pet. She’s a lamb for you to eat. Fear makes the blood sing and taste like cinnamon,” Drusilla whispered. “Take her.”
Anger flared up in him, consuming him. It felt good to be absorbed in rage. If he could hold on to the anger, he wouldn’t feel the excruciating hollowness of sorrow Buffy’s death left him with. How dare this girl have hair like Buffy? How dare she live when his love’s light had been snuffed? She really was but a lamb. Food. And she’d pay for not being her.
William gripped the girl harder and sank his teeth into her neck as she let out a desperate scream. The blood flowed freely into his mouth, filling his body with life and strength unlike anything he’d ever felt. It was pure ambrosia.
It didn’t fill the emptiness in his heart. The girl’s heart fell silent and he tossed her corpse aside.
He really was a monster and there was no turning back. He’d truly lost Buffy now. No one to want to be a better man for. He hadn’t saved her and now he had to pay. There would be no Heaven for someone like him. They had been torn apart forever.
Putting on a mask of determination, William swore that every being in the world would suffer along with him.
There was nothing else to live for.
TBC
Chapter twelve
Author's Notes: I got a gorgeous spanking new banner made by xaphania. Thank you so much for making it!!! And I know William still has his brown curls, but I couldn't wait to show it to you guys. Anyway, who knows... he might get bleached in the next chapter. ;)
Chapter 12
Buffy didn’t know how much time had passed since she’d dragged herself to her room. It felt as if she’d been staring at the ceiling forever, feeling sorry for herself and stubbornly keeping up the denial of his death. Because if she stopped pretending, if she finally admitted to herself that there was nothing she could do to change it, she’d break down.
Getting up from the bed, Buffy trudged across the room until she reached her suitcase. Buffy hadn’t even touched the things in it that Faith had packed up from his room. She hadn’t been able to open the suitcase since the night it all happened and, her heart skipped a beat as she knelt down.
Her fingers stilled at the zipper before she set her face in determination and opened it. Buffy’s breath hitched in her throat as she slowly took out a t-shirt and brought it to her face.
William’s scent was still all over it.
One day, even the scent would fade away and all she’d have left of him would be the sharp pain in her heart and memories that would slip from her unwilling grasp as time went by. She couldn’t stand the thought of it. That one day she’d wake up and realize she couldn’t remember how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. How he ducked his head when embarrassed or tilted it to the side as he watched her with softness that made her feel loved. More loved that she’d ever been in her entire life. Most of all, she couldn’t imagine not remembering what his lips tasted like and how just the sound of his voice made her feel warm and safe.
She loved him.
And he was dead.
Lifting a hand to brush the hair away from her face, Buffy touched the wetness on her cheeks. She sat there for a second, startled. She hadn’t realized she’d been crying. Feeling the evidence of her grief, breathing in his scent from the t-shirt she was clutching, made something inside her break. The carefully constructed denial crumbled as the tears flowed from her eyes.
Buffy sobbed.
Loud, gut wrenching sobs that left her gasping for air. Her body felt too small to contain the sudden enormity of loss. The pain was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. They might as well have ripped apart her soul for the emptiness his death had left behind.
Buffy barely noticed as Faith grasped her shoulder and led her to the bed. She drew her into her embrace, and Buffy accepted the comfort even if it didn’t lessen the suffocating pain.
Her sobs subsided after a half hour out of sheer exhaustion, leaving a headache behind.
“Giles is worried about you,” Faith said hesitantly. “So am I. You’ve been so closed off. It’s good, you know. Letting it out. Means you’re on the right path to heal.”
Buffy gazed at her with bloodshot eyes. “I don’t want to heal. I can’t let him go. I never will, doesn’t matter how much it hurts.”
Faith knew Buffy would have to let him go eventually, but refrained from saying so. And offering empty sympathy or cheesy phrases designated to make Buffy feel better would lead nowhere. Now wasn’t the time. The only thing Faith could do was be there and support her.
“I know, B. Come on, let’s grab something to eat. Giles can actually cook something other than fish and chips.”
She rose from the bed when Buffy grabbed her wrist and looked up at her. “Thanks.”
Faith stared. She wasn’t used to being thanked by anyone or deserving it in the first place, and it left her feeling oddly uncomfortable. “It’s fine.”
*********
A couple of weeks later, Buffy strolled through a cemetery with Giles at her side.
“I still don’t see why you’d go with me,” Buffy said as she scanned her surroundings.
“I’m your Watcher and it is my duty to-”
“Watch? Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on skipping my duties to go clubbing instead. Not exactly that much into having fun lately.”
Faith had repeatedly asked her to come with her to a nearby club. Dance. Have a few drinks on a false ID. Not that Buffy had one. The prospect of being around so many people and having a good time didn’t sound appealing at all. Not the way it used to.
“I wasn’t referring to you abandoning your duty in order to go… clubbing. I’m here to guide you. To help you.”
“Giles, you don’t have to look after me. I can take care of myself. You know I could lift you with barely any effort, right?”
“Be that as it may, you’re still new to this. You haven’t learned all the techniques and-”
“One thing I learned in the past couple of weeks? It’s not about technique.” Something tugged at her stomach as a shiver ran up her spine, and Buffy swirled on her feet in time to see a fumbling fledge make his way towards her. She didn’t hesitate for a second and sent the stake in her hand flying straight into the vampire’s chest. He let out a snarl before his dust settled on the grass. “It’s about instinct.”
Giles fumbled and took off his glasses to clean them. “T-that was quite extraordinary.”
Buffy smiled weakly and retrieved the fallen stake. “Not really. I could feel him sneaking up on us.”
“On the contrary. You’re saying that you’re already developing the ability to sense them?”
Buffy frowned and glanced at him from the corner of her eyes as they walked. “I guess. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Of course it is. I’m just very pleasantly surprised. To be honest, I was expecting you to be more headstrong and resistant about being the Slayer. Your school records suggested you are quite willful. The longer one denies what they are, the longer it takes to gain all abilities.”
“This is my life now. I can’t change it or turn back time. All I can do is be the best I can.”
She didn’t tell Giles how she sneaked into the training room at nights to get rid of the feeling of being helpless by working out until she couldn’t anymore. How much she relished hunting the demons down and landing the killing blow. The power it filled her with. Because every time she slew one of them, the guilt in her soul for not being good enough to save him eased for a little while. For a few seconds, when her very essence was filled with the adrenaline of revenge, she could find peace.
It was personal. It was a demon that ripped apart her world and every single one of them would pay. She wasn’t naïve. On some basic level, Buffy understood that Slayers never lived a long happy life. Their lives were short and violent. Despite being afraid, she knew that being normal would never offer her the opportunity to make a difference. To kill as many of them as she possibly could. When she had her revenge, only then could she finally breathe.
Giles smiled at her, not having the heart to tell her the news. She’d have to be more than the best to survive what was coming. The notorious Aurelians were in the country. And they were painting it red.
********
A week earlier
“Why are we here again?” Darla scowled and looked up at the abandoned school building.
“Got some business that needs finishing,” William said impatiently and strode forward, the two women trailing behind him.
Drusilla caught up to him and caressed his arm. “Can you hear the birds singing, my William? They told me the naughty headmistress was hiding.”
“She can bloody well hide, but not forever.”
William had developed a soft spot for Dru. He didn’t love her, but her deceptive frailty made the caring side of himself emerge. It felt good to be needed. Even if Drusilla was the most wicked and twisted creature he’d ever met, she was still like a child in many ways. Darla though, was anything but a child. She was cunning, ruthless and merciless.
He pushed the door open and entered the empty building. The oppressive scent of the place he’d barely registered as a human hit him full force. Fear. Death. The memories of the last time he’d been here flickered in his mind. The look on Buffy’s face as they dragged her away.
Clenching his jaw, William stepped towards the staircase. “I’ll be back in a mo. Just need to grab some stuff.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to amuse ourselves,” Darla said and dragged Drusilla with her.
*********
His room was empty. Even his clothes and books were gone. Someone must have thrown them out since the whole student body seemed to have disappeared. Probably relocated somewhere else.
'Guess a couple of deaths would finally ring the warning bells.'
It was a shame though. He wouldn’t mind making a few of his ex schoolmates suffer, some more than others. They had certainly relished making his life a living hell, even going as far as insulting Buffy once they found out she was his girlfriend. He no longer valued human life. He was still William, but it felt like the darkest parts of his psyche came to the forefront. The demon in him reveled in blood and screams of terror with no regret.
He wouldn’t find anything here. Better go find Darla and Dru before they set the school on fire from boredom.
His sneaker clad feet hit the carpet in the hallway as he walked swiftly towards the stairs. He was passing a room when he faltered. Buffy’s room. He’d never been there, but her unmistakable scent still lingered around the place.
'God, her scent.'
His hands shook badly as he reached for the doorknob and pushed the door open. Empty, just like his. William crossed the threshold and walked towards her bed in a haze. Her absence slammed into him and his knees buckled. Burying his face in the pillow she’d left behind, he trembled. The comfort her scent provided was short lived when he remembered Buffy was dead.
His tears soaked through the pillow as he wept, but he couldn’t seem to stop. With Drusilla and Darla always around, it took everything in his power to control his emotions. The deep sadness was a constant pressure on his nonexistent soul, but he refused to cry. If one either of vampires ever saw him show such human weakness, he’d probably find himself brutally beaten by one of Darla’s favourite whips.
But now that he was here in the solace of Buffy’s room, the control snapped under the pressure of denying grief for so long. The tears poured out of his eyes so hard it was useless to try to wipe them off.
Something peeked from the half closed drawer of the bedside table and he reached inside to pull it out. It was a hair tie. One she’d worn quite often until he found the courage to start taking it out of her hair so he could run his hands through her silky strands. Just like she’d always pulled off his glasses.
It was the only thing he had of her and he would be damned twice if he let anything happen to it. William tucked it into the safety of his pocket and went to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water.
*******
“Where have you been for so long? We’ve got a present for you,” Drusilla said with a wide grin and clutched at his hand before dragging him behind her as she ran down the corridors.
William entered the headmistress’ office with a frown. Surely she wouldn’t have stayed here when all the authorities were after her.
Darla circled the chair and turned it around so he could see the occupant tied to it. Sallie Bennett. She had circles under her eyes, and the hair that used to be so pedantically immaculate was sticking out in several directions as she tried to talk through the fabric stuffed in her mouth.
“She likes to play. Hide and seek. Hide… and… seek,” Drusilla whispered into his ear.
Darla scowled at the old woman. “We found her cowering in some ‘secret’ chamber. It was disappointing, really. I thought we’d find some young student--those are always fun--but this one isn’t exactly fresh. I’m not eating something so old.” Darla grabbed the letter opener resting on the table and handed it to William. “Maybe you can deal with it.”
“God, yes. We’ve got a score to settle, Miss Bennett and me. Isn’t that right?”
The evil woman was responsible for what had happened. A blurry memory of her voice ordering the demons to take him pushed to the forefront.
He glanced at the letter opener and tossed it away. “I’ll need something bigger.” He glanced around and spotted an iron spike resting against the fireplace. He couldn’t imagine why she’d have it in her office, but it would suit very nicely for what he had in mind.
He shifted to his vampiric guise as he stalked towards her with the spike in his grasp. Her eyes were wide with terror and it only spurred him on. The rage sparkled and flared as he finally reached her and looked her dead in the eye.
“People say that vengeance is a dish best served cold. You know what, I rather like it white… hot.” With that, he rammed the spike into the headmistress’ gut. The blood spilled forward on his hands, warm and delicious. Human blood. He took the spike out and untied her. With a laugh, William yanked her up and shoved her hard to the floor, the violent motion snapping her ankle. Her screams were muffled by the gag in her mouth, only urging his demon on. It felt so good to make her suffer.
“I rather like this side of you, William. Looks like you are worthy of our name after all,” Darla purred as Drusilla licked the side of her neck.
He knelt down and caressed Miss Bennett’s face with the rusty iron edge before trailing it down to let the tip rest against the hollow of her throat. The pulse beat wildly beneath the weathered skin. Her hands clutched at the wound in her belly and William grinned. He was familiar with the pain of slowly bleeding to death. Let her feel it.
“See you in Hell,” he said and rammed the spike into her throat. The blood spurted from the gaping hole and sprayed his face.
William licked his lips and smirked.
TBC
Chapter 12
Buffy didn’t know how much time had passed since she’d dragged herself to her room. It felt as if she’d been staring at the ceiling forever, feeling sorry for herself and stubbornly keeping up the denial of his death. Because if she stopped pretending, if she finally admitted to herself that there was nothing she could do to change it, she’d break down.
Getting up from the bed, Buffy trudged across the room until she reached her suitcase. Buffy hadn’t even touched the things in it that Faith had packed up from his room. She hadn’t been able to open the suitcase since the night it all happened and, her heart skipped a beat as she knelt down.
Her fingers stilled at the zipper before she set her face in determination and opened it. Buffy’s breath hitched in her throat as she slowly took out a t-shirt and brought it to her face.
William’s scent was still all over it.
One day, even the scent would fade away and all she’d have left of him would be the sharp pain in her heart and memories that would slip from her unwilling grasp as time went by. She couldn’t stand the thought of it. That one day she’d wake up and realize she couldn’t remember how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. How he ducked his head when embarrassed or tilted it to the side as he watched her with softness that made her feel loved. More loved that she’d ever been in her entire life. Most of all, she couldn’t imagine not remembering what his lips tasted like and how just the sound of his voice made her feel warm and safe.
She loved him.
And he was dead.
Lifting a hand to brush the hair away from her face, Buffy touched the wetness on her cheeks. She sat there for a second, startled. She hadn’t realized she’d been crying. Feeling the evidence of her grief, breathing in his scent from the t-shirt she was clutching, made something inside her break. The carefully constructed denial crumbled as the tears flowed from her eyes.
Buffy sobbed.
Loud, gut wrenching sobs that left her gasping for air. Her body felt too small to contain the sudden enormity of loss. The pain was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. They might as well have ripped apart her soul for the emptiness his death had left behind.
Buffy barely noticed as Faith grasped her shoulder and led her to the bed. She drew her into her embrace, and Buffy accepted the comfort even if it didn’t lessen the suffocating pain.
Her sobs subsided after a half hour out of sheer exhaustion, leaving a headache behind.
“Giles is worried about you,” Faith said hesitantly. “So am I. You’ve been so closed off. It’s good, you know. Letting it out. Means you’re on the right path to heal.”
Buffy gazed at her with bloodshot eyes. “I don’t want to heal. I can’t let him go. I never will, doesn’t matter how much it hurts.”
Faith knew Buffy would have to let him go eventually, but refrained from saying so. And offering empty sympathy or cheesy phrases designated to make Buffy feel better would lead nowhere. Now wasn’t the time. The only thing Faith could do was be there and support her.
“I know, B. Come on, let’s grab something to eat. Giles can actually cook something other than fish and chips.”
She rose from the bed when Buffy grabbed her wrist and looked up at her. “Thanks.”
Faith stared. She wasn’t used to being thanked by anyone or deserving it in the first place, and it left her feeling oddly uncomfortable. “It’s fine.”
*********
A couple of weeks later, Buffy strolled through a cemetery with Giles at her side.
“I still don’t see why you’d go with me,” Buffy said as she scanned her surroundings.
“I’m your Watcher and it is my duty to-”
“Watch? Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on skipping my duties to go clubbing instead. Not exactly that much into having fun lately.”
Faith had repeatedly asked her to come with her to a nearby club. Dance. Have a few drinks on a false ID. Not that Buffy had one. The prospect of being around so many people and having a good time didn’t sound appealing at all. Not the way it used to.
“I wasn’t referring to you abandoning your duty in order to go… clubbing. I’m here to guide you. To help you.”
“Giles, you don’t have to look after me. I can take care of myself. You know I could lift you with barely any effort, right?”
“Be that as it may, you’re still new to this. You haven’t learned all the techniques and-”
“One thing I learned in the past couple of weeks? It’s not about technique.” Something tugged at her stomach as a shiver ran up her spine, and Buffy swirled on her feet in time to see a fumbling fledge make his way towards her. She didn’t hesitate for a second and sent the stake in her hand flying straight into the vampire’s chest. He let out a snarl before his dust settled on the grass. “It’s about instinct.”
Giles fumbled and took off his glasses to clean them. “T-that was quite extraordinary.”
Buffy smiled weakly and retrieved the fallen stake. “Not really. I could feel him sneaking up on us.”
“On the contrary. You’re saying that you’re already developing the ability to sense them?”
Buffy frowned and glanced at him from the corner of her eyes as they walked. “I guess. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Of course it is. I’m just very pleasantly surprised. To be honest, I was expecting you to be more headstrong and resistant about being the Slayer. Your school records suggested you are quite willful. The longer one denies what they are, the longer it takes to gain all abilities.”
“This is my life now. I can’t change it or turn back time. All I can do is be the best I can.”
She didn’t tell Giles how she sneaked into the training room at nights to get rid of the feeling of being helpless by working out until she couldn’t anymore. How much she relished hunting the demons down and landing the killing blow. The power it filled her with. Because every time she slew one of them, the guilt in her soul for not being good enough to save him eased for a little while. For a few seconds, when her very essence was filled with the adrenaline of revenge, she could find peace.
It was personal. It was a demon that ripped apart her world and every single one of them would pay. She wasn’t naïve. On some basic level, Buffy understood that Slayers never lived a long happy life. Their lives were short and violent. Despite being afraid, she knew that being normal would never offer her the opportunity to make a difference. To kill as many of them as she possibly could. When she had her revenge, only then could she finally breathe.
Giles smiled at her, not having the heart to tell her the news. She’d have to be more than the best to survive what was coming. The notorious Aurelians were in the country. And they were painting it red.
********
A week earlier
“Why are we here again?” Darla scowled and looked up at the abandoned school building.
“Got some business that needs finishing,” William said impatiently and strode forward, the two women trailing behind him.
Drusilla caught up to him and caressed his arm. “Can you hear the birds singing, my William? They told me the naughty headmistress was hiding.”
“She can bloody well hide, but not forever.”
William had developed a soft spot for Dru. He didn’t love her, but her deceptive frailty made the caring side of himself emerge. It felt good to be needed. Even if Drusilla was the most wicked and twisted creature he’d ever met, she was still like a child in many ways. Darla though, was anything but a child. She was cunning, ruthless and merciless.
He pushed the door open and entered the empty building. The oppressive scent of the place he’d barely registered as a human hit him full force. Fear. Death. The memories of the last time he’d been here flickered in his mind. The look on Buffy’s face as they dragged her away.
Clenching his jaw, William stepped towards the staircase. “I’ll be back in a mo. Just need to grab some stuff.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to amuse ourselves,” Darla said and dragged Drusilla with her.
*********
His room was empty. Even his clothes and books were gone. Someone must have thrown them out since the whole student body seemed to have disappeared. Probably relocated somewhere else.
'Guess a couple of deaths would finally ring the warning bells.'
It was a shame though. He wouldn’t mind making a few of his ex schoolmates suffer, some more than others. They had certainly relished making his life a living hell, even going as far as insulting Buffy once they found out she was his girlfriend. He no longer valued human life. He was still William, but it felt like the darkest parts of his psyche came to the forefront. The demon in him reveled in blood and screams of terror with no regret.
He wouldn’t find anything here. Better go find Darla and Dru before they set the school on fire from boredom.
His sneaker clad feet hit the carpet in the hallway as he walked swiftly towards the stairs. He was passing a room when he faltered. Buffy’s room. He’d never been there, but her unmistakable scent still lingered around the place.
'God, her scent.'
His hands shook badly as he reached for the doorknob and pushed the door open. Empty, just like his. William crossed the threshold and walked towards her bed in a haze. Her absence slammed into him and his knees buckled. Burying his face in the pillow she’d left behind, he trembled. The comfort her scent provided was short lived when he remembered Buffy was dead.
His tears soaked through the pillow as he wept, but he couldn’t seem to stop. With Drusilla and Darla always around, it took everything in his power to control his emotions. The deep sadness was a constant pressure on his nonexistent soul, but he refused to cry. If one either of vampires ever saw him show such human weakness, he’d probably find himself brutally beaten by one of Darla’s favourite whips.
But now that he was here in the solace of Buffy’s room, the control snapped under the pressure of denying grief for so long. The tears poured out of his eyes so hard it was useless to try to wipe them off.
Something peeked from the half closed drawer of the bedside table and he reached inside to pull it out. It was a hair tie. One she’d worn quite often until he found the courage to start taking it out of her hair so he could run his hands through her silky strands. Just like she’d always pulled off his glasses.
It was the only thing he had of her and he would be damned twice if he let anything happen to it. William tucked it into the safety of his pocket and went to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water.
*******
“Where have you been for so long? We’ve got a present for you,” Drusilla said with a wide grin and clutched at his hand before dragging him behind her as she ran down the corridors.
William entered the headmistress’ office with a frown. Surely she wouldn’t have stayed here when all the authorities were after her.
Darla circled the chair and turned it around so he could see the occupant tied to it. Sallie Bennett. She had circles under her eyes, and the hair that used to be so pedantically immaculate was sticking out in several directions as she tried to talk through the fabric stuffed in her mouth.
“She likes to play. Hide and seek. Hide… and… seek,” Drusilla whispered into his ear.
Darla scowled at the old woman. “We found her cowering in some ‘secret’ chamber. It was disappointing, really. I thought we’d find some young student--those are always fun--but this one isn’t exactly fresh. I’m not eating something so old.” Darla grabbed the letter opener resting on the table and handed it to William. “Maybe you can deal with it.”
“God, yes. We’ve got a score to settle, Miss Bennett and me. Isn’t that right?”
The evil woman was responsible for what had happened. A blurry memory of her voice ordering the demons to take him pushed to the forefront.
He glanced at the letter opener and tossed it away. “I’ll need something bigger.” He glanced around and spotted an iron spike resting against the fireplace. He couldn’t imagine why she’d have it in her office, but it would suit very nicely for what he had in mind.
He shifted to his vampiric guise as he stalked towards her with the spike in his grasp. Her eyes were wide with terror and it only spurred him on. The rage sparkled and flared as he finally reached her and looked her dead in the eye.
“People say that vengeance is a dish best served cold. You know what, I rather like it white… hot.” With that, he rammed the spike into the headmistress’ gut. The blood spilled forward on his hands, warm and delicious. Human blood. He took the spike out and untied her. With a laugh, William yanked her up and shoved her hard to the floor, the violent motion snapping her ankle. Her screams were muffled by the gag in her mouth, only urging his demon on. It felt so good to make her suffer.
“I rather like this side of you, William. Looks like you are worthy of our name after all,” Darla purred as Drusilla licked the side of her neck.
He knelt down and caressed Miss Bennett’s face with the rusty iron edge before trailing it down to let the tip rest against the hollow of her throat. The pulse beat wildly beneath the weathered skin. Her hands clutched at the wound in her belly and William grinned. He was familiar with the pain of slowly bleeding to death. Let her feel it.
“See you in Hell,” he said and rammed the spike into her throat. The blood spurted from the gaping hole and sprayed his face.
William licked his lips and smirked.
TBC
Chapter thirteen
Banner made by the very talented xaphania.
Chapter 13
Sounds started to penetrate the fog surrounding his aching brain. Giggles, to be exact. When William tried to lift his hand to rub at his tired eyes, he found out his arms had been immobilized. Someone had tied him up. His cracked open his eyes and frowned at the sight of Darla and Drusilla leaning above him with evil smiles.
'Balls.'
Nothing good could possibly come from this. He felt woozier that he’d ever remembered being. Had they slipped something in his drink last night? Drowning his sorrow didn’t seem like such a good idea now. Not with the two of them around.
“We bought something for you,” Drusilla said.
Darla grinned. “Stole it, to be more precise. And I didn’t really like the unhelpful assistance. Had to punish her.”
Dru nodded. “She tasted like cherries.”
William shook his head, trying to clear his mind. “Did you drug me?”
“Little bit. We didn’t think you’d like what we had to do,” Darla said and snorted.
“Why is she laughing?” William asked Drusilla, but no answer instead another chortle of glee was forthcoming.
“Well, you know how much our Dru likes punk, right?”
“What? What does that have to do with anything?”
Darla glared at him.
“Well, yeah. Of course I do. She wouldn’t stop singing for a few days after we listened to the Sex Pistols.”
“Tell me about it. I thought my head was going to explode. Anyway… you know what? I think I’ll untie you.”
“Thanks,” he said with a sigh of relief as she undid the strong ropes. He rubbed his wrists and stood up. Something was off, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it as he went to grab a clean shirt. The one he was wearing seemed to get stained somehow. His unease rose considerably when the two vampires followed him with big grins and secretive glances. He was starting to get annoyed.
“What?”
They just stared at him as if expecting to see him sprout horns out of his head. He ran his hand through the hair the way he always did when frustrated and immediately froze.
The curls were gone. His eyes widened.
“What did you do to my hair?”
Darla collapsed on his bed in a fit of laughter. “Your face! So priceless!”
Dru snatched something from a table and slinked her way towards him. She was holding a camera.
William gulped. He was terrified to find out what they did to him while he was completely out of it. Dru took a picture and cooed at it. Patience wasn’t a virtue he possessed nowadays, so he closed the distance between them and took the camera out of her hands.
He stared at it, trying to recognize the man in the photo. It couldn’t have been him. The shock of seeing himself with white, short hair was overridden by how attractive it made him look. His cheekbones seemed more prominent, the blue of his eyes even more pronounced.
“Are we forgiven, sweet William?” Dru asked with a pout before she hugged his side.
He nodded mutely and kissed her on the forehead.
Darla stretched out on his bed, her shapely bare legs on display. “You really should think of some other name for yourself. You sound like a stuffy piano teacher.”
“Let’s go out. My belly is rumbling,” Dru said and bit his earlobe with blunt teeth.
*******
Four months later, he thrust a spike into his victim’s head, the skull cracking open under the invasion. Darla and Drusilla happily fed on another one as he watched the blood pool around his victim’s body. He was starting to get notorious in the demon circles, the sheer violence of his actions making them whisper in fear and respect. It was what he’d wanted, but it still wasn’t enough.
It never would be.
They called him Spike now, which he actually preferred to his human name. William wasn’t who he was anymore. He wasn’t the gentle, soft-spoken boy that would rather avoid a fight than seek it. The rules had changed and he had to adapt by molding himself into someone capable of surviving.
Spike thrived off the hunt, reveled in killing his victims. He didn’t feel anything but the rush of his demon’s itching need to keep killing and maiming as he sucked the blood out of his victim, tossed the dead corpse aside and stood up. It was almost worse than the pain digging into his heart. Almost.
He’d fallen into a haze these last few months, suppressing the last vestiges of human conscience as he let the mindless existence consume him. Death, lust, violence all seemed to blend together. The lines were blurring and human laws no longer applied.
Drusilla came up to him and licked the pale skin of his neck before sinking her fangs into it while offering him her wrist. He bit it without hesitation, the blood running in a circle of numbing pleasure and familiar connection between them.
The back of his neck tingled as Darla came up behind him and ran her hands beneath the tight material of his black t-shirt to caress his taut abdomen. He and Drusilla drew out their fangs and turned to face Darla. He’d been so flustered when he first caught the two of them in throes of passion, their pale limbs entwined as they laughed at his discomfort. He’d been both transfixed and embarrassed.
He’d become used to it since then. The two of them were always up to no good and they had no sense of modesty. Sex wasn’t about love. It was all about taking what you needed--quenching the demon’s lust. They’d taunted his inexperience with a promise to teach him things that would make William run for the hills. Depraved and sinful. Pleasure that verged on the edge of pain. It stilled the need for a while.
One thing Spike swore he’d never let either of them do was kiss him. Darla couldn’t care less, whereas Drusilla threw fits and babbled about sunshine that stained him. The part he’d worked so hard to bury deep inside, the tender and shy part of him that was William resented feeling their lips on his. Buffy was the last and only woman to ever do so and he couldn’t bear the thought of letting someone else have that part of him. In his mind, the intimacy of a kiss was sacred.
Their hands ran all over his body, stirring the flames of raw lust. He could see the dark desire in their golden eyes as they dragged him to the bloodstained ground and ripped his t-shirt off. Their gaze devoured his muscled chest before leaning down to mark him with their teeth, their nails digging deep into his skin. Spike hissed in pain, growling as he tried to quiet down the desperate voice in his head telling him not to do this. The image of Buffy’s hurt expression flickered behind his closed eyelids before he gave into his demon completely.
********
Buffy scooted against the headboard of her bed with a battered old book in her hands and drew up her knees. The content of it had taken her breath away the first time she looked at it. The day she’d forced herself to sort through William’s things, she’d stumbled upon the little note book. It was full of his poems.
Poems about her.
She caressed the worn-out spine with a bittersweet smile and opened it. Even though she knew all the words by heart, just looking at his handwriting made her feel closer to him. There were a few torn out pages and Buffy presumed they had been devoted to Cecily before she’d so cruelly stomped on William’s heart. But all the rest belonged to her.
The emotion he’d written them with made the lump in her throat swell with grief. She knew he loved her, but she never really realized how much. It was as if she had been his whole world, the only thing that had ever made him happy and Buffy knew without a shadow of doubt that she’d never be loved that way again.
The door opened with a creak and Buffy wiped at her eyes as she hugged the note-book to her chest.
Faith walked in and sat beside her on the bed. “I’m going to a club. Come with me?”
“I don’t really feel like-”
“Do you want me to get eaten by vampires?”
Buffy knew very well that Faith was baiting her. She could hold her own in a fight and often went patrolling along with Buffy, but if something really happened to her, Buffy would never forgive herself. “This is blackmail.”
“Never said I played fair.”
*********
Giles paced around his living room, waiting for Buffy and Faith to come back from their night out.
The door opened and they came in, Faith obviously inebriated from the slight stumble in her walk as Buffy supported her and greeted her Watcher. “Oh, hi, Giles. Didn’t know you would be up this late.”
“Can we talk?”
Buffy frowned at his serious expression and nodded. “Sure. Just let me put Faith to bed. She’s going to have a major hangover tomorrow.”
Giles was sitting tensely in his armchair when she came back, so she sat in the chair opposite him. He’d been a great Watcher and even a better friend in the last three months. She often thought of him as the father she’d never had.
“What’s up? You look all serious.”
“There has been… trouble. I thought I could spare you because you’ve been going through a difficult time, but the Council is pressing on me. They just called, forcing me to divulge the information to you.” He stood up again and turned away from her.
“Giles?”
“The Aurelius clan is in the country.”
“Who?”
“They are one of the oldest, most evil vampire bloodlines in history. They have been sighted near London, leaving a generous trail of death in their wake.”
“Since when has this been going on?”
“A while after you became the Slayer,” Giles admitted and turned around to glimpse her expression.
Buffy stared at him in shock. “Why haven’t you told me?”
“I was trying to protect you. I was foolishly hoping that they would get bored and move-”
“To kill people somewhere else? You know I can’t let that happen. You should have let me know. I’m the Slayer, I can-”
“No, you can’t! You’re not experienced enough to take them on. Since their leader, Angelus, was cursed and shunned, they have been devoid of an alpha male. From my resources, they seemed to have found a new addition to their family. They call him Spike. He’s a fledgling, but his reputation certainly precedes him. Buffy, I can’t let you face them.”
“I can’t just sit here and twiddle my thumbs while they’re out there killing people!”
“You don’t understand. They’re unlike anything you’ve ever faced, and it’s three of them against one of you. The only thing you’d get accomplished is to get yourself killed. Just like the last Slayer.”
Buffy frowned. “What about her?”
“One of the Aurelians killed her. Drusilla, I believe.”
The name hit her as a splash of cold water. Drusilla. Why did it sound so familiar? Where had she heard it before? “Do you have a picture of her?”
Giles looked puzzled but went to retrieve a book from his bookcase. He found the right page and presented it to her. “Here. This is the last archived picture of her the Council has.”
A memory of a lost forgotten dream fought its way to the forefront of her mind. Buffy gasped and shot to her feet. “I know her. I-I’ve seen her before. In a dream. Right before… the night you found me. They killed a girl. It was the Slayer before me, wasn’t it?”
“You had a vision about her?”
“It felt so real, but I didn’t realize it really was at the time. Dru… that was what the other woman called her. And let me tell you, I did not like either of them.”
“What did the other one look like?”
Buffy furrowed her brow. “Umm... Blonde, powerful, kind of bossy.”
Giles let out a heavy sigh and nodded. “That would be Darla. The Master’s Childe. She’s one of the oldest vampires around. You see why I was hesitant to let you know. And this Spike… he seems almost as bad as the two of them combined. The killing seems personal, almost desperate from what I read. He doesn’t only limit his carnage to humans. He’s killing everything in his path without mercy.”
“So he’s got issues. Well, it doesn’t matter; I have to kill them all. Maybe catch them when they’re separated. I’ve been training really hard. I know I can take them one on one.”
“Buffy…”
“No. Don’t ‘Buffy’ me. You don’t think I’m scared? You don’t think I know they’ll probably get the better of me? But this is what I am. I fight. I try to protect as many people as I can. I have to make up for…”
Giles stepped closer and squeezed her shoulder. “It wasn’t in your power to save him. You can’t let it weigh on your conscience.”
“I owe it to him. He’s dead because I was too stupid to figure it out. If only I had burned the contracts earlier. I would have been able to walk through the barrier… He would be alive.”
She turned her face away as the tears started to flow, her voice tight with determination and anger. “I’ll find them and I’ll kill them. They’ll be sorry they ever set foot in my territory.”
TBC
Chapter fourteen
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Chapter 14
Spike sat sprawled in a comfy armchair with one leg thrown over the armrest. Drusilla had fallen asleep while he was brushing her hair and with Darla being out, he finally had some time for himself. Darla often mocked him for being sentimental since the moment she caught him reading poetry. He didn’t give a piss about what others thought of him.
He’d been reading for an hour when he realized he was a glutton for punishment. Every poem was saturated with heartfelt emotions of love, and all it did was further antagonize the pain of losing Buffy. He saw her everywhere he turned, everywhere he looked, in every girl he saw. It was ripping him apart.
If he was soulless, why did it hurt so much?
Drusilla stirred in her sleep and frowned. She whispered something under her breath and folded her body into a fetal position, hugging her knees.
“No… not them… I’ll be… good… pure… please,” she whispered as tears started to trickle from beneath her closed eyelids.
Spike put down his book and went to sit next to her on the bed. It hurt him to see his Sire like this. So fragile. She and Darla were his family now, though each of them held a different place in his heart. While Dru was like a young girl he had to take care of, Darla took on the role of bossing him around. Darla was the one who set the rules.
He stroked Drusilla’s hair, his heart aching as an unnecessary breath hitched in her throat.
“Come on, Dru. Time to wake up.” He gently shook her shoulder until she awoke with a scream. Her eyes wildly glanced around the room before settling on his.
“Spike?”
He gathered her in his arms and rubbed her back. “It was just a dream. It’s over now.”
“You won’t let him hurt me, will you?” She glanced up at him with big pleading eyes full of trust. It was always after she woke up, those immediate seconds after her subconscious was in full control when she seemed to be lucid. As if a part of her human soul still lingered beneath the bloodthirsty demon she’d become.
“Never,” he promised. He knew that her insanity was her Sire’s doing. Angelus. Darla missed him even though she’d never admit it, but he caught her once staring at a blurry photograph of her Childe with a sad look on her face. From their tales, Spike was glad he’d never met the bastard. “Want to have a tea party, pet? We’ll spread out all your dolls and have ourselves a grand old time.”
She grinned at him and bounced. “Yes please. We shall invite princes and princesses. Will you dance with me, Spike?”
“Sure.”
********
Darla burst in the door, catching them in a peculiar situation. Drusilla was trying to teach him how to dance the Charleston, and she had obviously amused herself by doing his makeup too.
Darla stood there staring. “God, we need a real man in this family to balance out all the estrogen.” Spike scowled at her and she shook off the initial shock of the bizarre scene, remembering why she was in such a hurry. “We have to leave.”
Spike focused on her. “What? Why?”
“Because I said so.”
“You gotta give us more than that, Darla.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. One- I think the Council are after us. Two- It seems like the Master of the territory doesn’t like us stepping on his toes and the best of all… three- the new Slayer is in the area.”
Spike shrugged. “Yeah? So what? If the old wanker doesn’t like us being here he can bugger off. And what the bloody hell is a Slayer?”
“I don’t think I like you talking like a street urchin. Have some class, William.”
“It’s Spike now and don’t talk to me about class. It wasn’t me flashing my tits at college boys the other day.”
Drusilla giggled and went to Darla, leaning against her side. “Aren’t her breasts lovely? Like creamy puffs of sugar.”
Spike’s attention derailed to the said breasts when Darla and Dru started to grope each other before he remembered there was a supposed crisis at hand. “Hey, stop it for a second, would you? You didn’t answer my question. What’s a Slayer? And also… I’ll talk as I fucking please!”
Darla arched her elegant eyebrow and smirked. “The Slayer. The Chosen One. One girl in all the world chosen to kill our kind. Fight the forces of darkness until she’s killed and all that crap. But we have a more important issue at hand. The local Master let me know that if we don’t move out of his territory in an hour, he’ll send a horde of his minions after us.”
Spike’s mind whirled with the new information. The Slayer. Just one small girl to keep all the demons in the world at bay? That was impossible. Fruitless. Alluring. God, how he wanted to have a go at her. Taint her purity. Kill the chosen warrior of mankind. She must be stronger than him--probably quicker--and if he ever got to fight her it would be to the death.
He wasn’t afraid to bite the dust.
Finally the challenge he’d been looking for. The big demons nor the breakable humans he’d killed didn’t give him the satisfaction he craved.
Also, Darla was yelling at him to stop grinning like a maniac.
“Calm down, would you? I’ll deal with the old git. Can’t be that tough. Figure he’s sitting all day on his arse, having the minions bring him anything he wishes, right? I say let’s give him a workout.”
“Have you lost your brain? We can’t afford to be so reckless!”
“Fine, I’ll go alone.”
“But-”
“Not worried about me, are you?
Darla scoffed. “Don’t be stupid. Just don’t feel like finding, turning and initiating a new fledge. It would be a shame to lose someone so… talented.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him like the trained whore that she was and Spike internally winced.
“Give me the address.”
********
Buffy wiped the sweat from her brow and entered Giles’ apartment with a heavy sigh. Her muscles ached from the exertion of fighting the overweight fledgling. It was like hitting a brick wall. Only this one hit back.
As she tossed the weapons into the big wooden chest beside the outdated television, Buffy turned around and almost got a heart attack.
“Faith! Why did you sneak up on me like that?”
Faith shrugged and grinned. “Buffy.”
“Yes, that’s my name.” She eyed her friend suspiciously.
“Go out with me tonight.”
“After last time? No way in hell.”
“Come on! It’ll be fun. No drinking, promise.”
Buffy raised her eyebrow in disbelief. “You said that the last time… a few minutes before I found you downing shots of tequila like it was water.”
“Yeah… that. The hot guy paid… was I supposed to say no? But never mind that, B. Just you and me tonight. We’ll dance for a bit, then go home. Please?”
“I’m tired.”
“That’s why we have to go!”
Buffy frowned. “I don’t see logic in that.”
“Just trust me.”
Buffy sighed. “I know I’m going to regret this.”
********
Music blared from the speakers and Buffy welcomed the ear splitting volume. It left no room for thinking. So far, Faith had managed to keep her word to stay away from booze. Buffy trusted her enough to let her grab their drinks while she sat at the table.
“Diet Coke, as you asked,” Faith yelled at her through the noise and set their drinks down before perching on the seat next to Buffy. “See? Got a Diet Coke myself.”
“Good to know.” Buffy smiled and took a sip, moaning as the cold beverage slid down her throat. “So, any cute guys on radar?”
Faith leered and winked at her. “Sure are. But I’m here with my girl tonight.”
“You don’t have to hang around me if you’ve got other plans.”
“Hey, I invited you, didn’t I? We came here together, we leave together. Though I’m beginning to feel that celibacy isn’t really for me. I need me some action soon.”
“Faith!”
“What?”
“You’re such a slut,” Buffy said with a grin.
“And damn proud of it too. Don’t think Giles would appreciate it if I dragged some horny guy into his apartment though. On the other hand I could tell the guy that Giles is my ‘sugar daddy’ the next day… bet it would make the whole process of getting rid of the one night stand quicker.”
“You are so bad. I’d love to see Giles’ expression if you did that.”
“He’d just clean his glasses and flee in the opposite direction. You should have seen his face when I complained about being on the rag.”
Buffy giggled. “Poor Giles. He’s not used to living with women.”
“He’s a cool guy though… even if he’s old. Kind of like a dad I’ve never had. It’s really nice of him to let me stay.”
“He’s like a dad to me too. Weird, huh?”
Faith playfully punched her shoulder. “That would make us sisters then.”
Buffy raised her glass. “To having an obnoxious sibling!”
“I second that.”
They grinned and downed their drinks.
“Wanna dance, lil’ sis?”
“Okay,” Buffy said and let Faith pull her from her seat and to the dance floor.
The club was full and people writhed all around them as they danced. For the first time since the horrible night, Buffy let herself go. Nothing but moving to the beat of the music mattered. There was no room for thoughts or depression. It was similar to slaying. The exhilarating freedom of movement and pulsing energy.
Beads of sweat rolled down her back as she danced, hips swaying from side to side, arms raised in the air. She could feel Faith’s closeness as they sinuously moved together in the same rhythm.
Buffy was unaware of the attention they provoked with the sensual display of grace. It was only when someone circled her waist from behind that she snapped out of her trance. She swirled on her heel to face the man and opened her mouth to tell him to keep his hands to himself. Before she could get any word out, the stranger leaned down and kissed her.
She froze in his arms, too shocked to react for a few seconds. Everything in her screamed at the repulsive feeling of someone else’s lips pressed on her own. Not William’s lips. This man tasted like beer and she couldn’t stand it. With an unrestricted violence, Buffy shoved him away and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. He crashed into people dancing behind him and they all fell to the floor.
Faith grasped her shoulder, talking at her but Buffy couldn’t hear her through the noise. Couldn’t bear to be there any longer as the nausea rose up in her stomach. It was imperative that she get out of there. Forcing her way out of the crowd, elbowing the dancing people out of her way before she finally found herself standing at the edge of the dance floor.
Desperation prompted her to run out of the club into the dark alley where she collapsed to her knees and threw up.
TBC
Chapter fifteen
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Chapter 15
Sneaking into the old vampire’s house proved to be trickier than Spike anticipated. One obviously didn’t become the vampire Master of England without taking the necessary precautions to stay that way. A pack of minions guarded every entrance.
Spike clung to the shadows as he stalked down the corridor with a grin on his face. He’d already taken down all the guards he could find and had taken great pleasure in their brutal demise. He wasn’t above ripping their heads clean off. They had actually managed to look confused and surprised when they’d realized he was a vampire too. As if he was bound by rules not to kill his kind. What did he care?
'Bugger the rules.'
His footsteps didn’t make a sound in the silence as he finally located the Master’s lodgings. The heavy, tackily ornate door couldn’t have belonged to anyone else. Nor could the power radiating from behind them. Spike had done his research on the older vampire and found out he’d done in a couple of Slayers in his time before relocating to England and making a name for himself by killing all those who opposed him. Spike could respect him for that and the fact the other vampire was a much more experienced fighter gave him the thrill to engage him in a battle to death. Spike had nothing to lose.
He slammed the wooden door open with the palms of his hands, sending it crashing against the walls. A moment of astonished silence followed his big entrance, and he waltzed in as if he owned the place.
The vampire rose from his bed and roared. “Where’s my security?”
Spike hooked his thumbs into the loops on his tight jeans and smirked. “A bit unreliable, aren’t they? You should think of finding some replacements.”
“Who are you? What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?” Spittle flew from the vampire’s mouth, the vein in his neck bulging out, causing Spike’s grin to widen.
“Name’s Spike, mate. Seems like we have some business to settle.”
The vampire approached Spike with a warning scowl on his face, dressed only in pajama pants. Spike arched a brow and tilted his head up to meet his angry black eyes.
“Did Darla send you? Because I told her there would be no negotiating, and I stand by it. You’ve been drawing too much attention, and I’ll have no one challenging my authority. This is the last warning. Leave and take those Aurelian whores with you before I get really angry.”
Spike bit his lip in pretend thought, tapping his chin with his forefinger. “I’ve thought about it and my answer is… no, you stupid git. We’re bloody well staying here for as long as we please. One little threat won’t drive us away.”
“Who do you think you are, fledge? I’m Earl Abbington! I’ll teach you how to respect your elders!”
The vampire shifted into game face and roared before he made a move to throttle Spike. Expecting the violent response, Spike ducked under his arm and punched Abbington on the side of his head, making him stagger. Adrenaline surged through Spike’s veins as he danced on the balls of his feet, laughing manically.
He was untouchable.
“Come on, show me what you’ve got.” Spike’s bones shifted as his demon took over right before Abbington swirled on his feet and landed a powerful kick to Spike’s midsection.
The pain didn’t matter; it paled in comparison with the need to inflict violence electrifying his skin. He threw himself into the most exhilarating fight he’d ever experienced, the powerful hits almost breaking his bones whenever Abbington managed to get through his defenses. It only spurred him further.
Spike jumped up just in time to avoid getting his feet swept out from underneath him and wasted no time in aiming a roundhouse kick at Abbington’s head. Unfortunately Abbington caught his leg and sent him flying into a nearby wall. Before Spike could get up, Abbington was on him, so Spike grabbed a heavy iron clock sitting on the table next to him and swung it with all his strength at Abbington’s head. The hit connected and Abbington fell backwards, spitting blood on the carpet.
“You’re gonna pay for that,” he growled.
Spike sprung to his feet, as eager as ever though a bit worse for wear.
“Am I, now? Lay it on me then.”
He tucked his tongue behind the front teeth and grinned. Abbington might have been older and a lot stronger, but Spike was faster and knew how to improvise. Being underestimated would work in his advantage.
They traded punches, Spike managing to deflect most of the blows, but the harder he was hit, the more he laughed. Did Abbington think he had the power to hurt him? Physical pain paled in comparison with the torment twisting in his heart and nonexistent soul.
Spike felt Abbington’s nose break under a particularly vicious left hook and didn’t hesitate for a second to grab his opponent’s head and smash it against his knee. The vampire was disoriented for a second too long and Spike sensed the weakness, lunging at the opportunity without any mercy. He kicked Abbington in the chest, grinning with blood covered teeth as Earl lay sprawled on the floor. Before he could stand up, Spike snatched an iron poker resting against the fireplace and speared it through Abbington’s knee. He let out a scream that would have chilled Spike if he hadn’t been the one dealing out the punishment.
“Not feeling so superior now, are we? It’s sad, really. A killer of Slayers outdone by a fledge. How does that make you feel?”
“Fuck… you.”
“Such language. You should think of improving your manners.” Spike lifted the poker in his hand and thrust it into the old vampire’s skull. The skull shattered under the pressure and Abbington let out a gurgling noise, the fingers on his hands twitching. Spike tossed the weapon aside and broke off the leg of a wooden chair before ramming it into the defeated vampire’s heart.
He watched the dust on the carpet for a moment and dropped the makeshift stake. It was this moment that he hated the most. When the adrenaline ran its course and all the other feelings rushed back again. They were always there, tormenting him with William’s failure. His failure. He wasn’t supposed to carry the burden of his human self, so why did it feel like he’d been ripped inside and nothing would ever put the pieces back together? He didn’t want to exist like this.
But what other choice did he have but to live with the memories that haunted his dreams? He just had to keep going, keep fighting, and keep killing anything that crossed his path. Find someone stronger to give him a real challenge. In those moments, only when he was staring death in face, could he feel something other than excruciating pain. The memory of Buffy smiling up at him flickered behind his closed eyelids. Her hair tie burned a hole in the pocket of his jeans and he clenched his teeth in an effort to keep from crying.
He didn’t deserve to grieve.
********
Buffy quietly closed the front door of the flat behind her and fumbled in the darkness of the living room to avoid waking anybody up. Finally, she made it to her room without knocking anything over. It was her home now and the position of furniture was something she knew even with her eyes closed, which suited her just fine in a situation like this.
Only when she was in the safety of her room did she let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that she was hiding anything. Not really. She just didn’t want to get the third degree from Giles about patrolling twice in the same night. It would be morning soon, but she hadn’t been able to sleep. She never seemed to rest well ever since...
Buffy winced at the uncomfortable feeling of her blood trickling from the cut on her arm. Good thing she had the first aid kit under her bed. She’d just dress the wound and it’d probably heal by morning. Giles would be none the wiser.
Her cut taken care of and her teeth brushed, Buffy slipped under the soft covers and closed her eyes. A memory of the event that happened a couple of days prior to the horrible night lapped at her consciousness before sleep embraced her.
She was walking down the school’s corridors, her steps echoing off the wooden floor. The stairs were cold beneath her butt but she sat down nonetheless, waiting. Then a warm hand touched her shoulder and she almost jumped in surprise. Instead, she laughed at how easily she got startled and turned her head upwards to gaze into William’s smiling face.
“Hello, luv.”
“Hi, yourself,” she said with a breathy voice and blushed as he took her hand and helped her stand up.
He clasped his hand more firmly around hers and took her backpack. “How was your class?”
“Boring. But my day is suddenly getting much better.”
“Interesting.”
“How so?”
“Mine seems to be doing that too.”
Buffy grinned and inconspicuously led him behind a bulky statue near the staircase. If his reddened cheeks and a barely repressed smile were anything to go by, he seemed to be onto her not so pure intentions.
“Umm... Buffy, are you sure this is a good idea? Someone could see us.” Not that he seemed to care all that much from the eagerness Buffy could see in his eyes.
She traced her fingertips down his chest and pouted. “Maybe I was just admiring the school architecture.” She pretended to peruse the statue in question with great interest. “Very... stony.”
William chuckled and stepped closer, dropping her bag on the floor so he could hold her properly. “I missed you. I couldn’t think of anything else but you during the class.”
She almost melted in his embrace and nuzzled his cheek with a wistful sigh. “I hope I’m more interesting than calculus.”
William nodded and tightened his arms around her waist until she was flush against his body from chest to toe. She wasn’t complaining.
“You’ve tied your hair,” he said regretfully and immediately moved to rectify it.
He took out the hair tie with his left hand before running his fingers through the loose strands. She purred against him and bit his earlobe. The way he shivered against her made her smile and try to wriggle impossibly closer. Unable to help herself, Buffy’s arms circled his neck and kissed him. His lips were soft and sweet against hers, though so undeniably masculine that it made her knees weak. It was always when they kissed that William let his passion rule him, his touch sure and arousing, his tongue sliding against hers so sensually she wished she didn’t have to breathe. She could feel the thunder of his heart against her chest and gasped when he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, gently nibbling on it before soothing the ache with his talented tongue.
At last, she drew away, panting for breath as William did the same. They stood there partially hidden by the shadows, embracing and wanting. William tilted his head back a little, just enough to look her in the eye, and she could see there was something important he wanted to tell her. The feeling was so clear in his eyes her heart started to once again gallop beneath her breast. He opened his mouth to speak when a male voice shattered the moment.
“Hey, Summers, didn’t know you gave it up so easily,” the boy said and leered while two of his friends snickered behind him. William’s jaw clenched and his fingers tightened around her waist.
“Watch your mouth,” William growled, and the animalistic side of him unexpectedly made her love him even more.
“Or you’ll do what, Willy? Everyone at this school knows how pathetic you are. I figured if Summers here gave it to you of all people, she must be real easy.”
Before Buffy could give the boy a piece of her mind, William stepped towards the three of them with a furious expression on his face. When she realized how much trouble he’d get into, she came to her senses and snatched his wrist. “William, don’t. They’re not worth it.”
The boys laughed and mocked them and she could feel William tremble with anger. If it were him, he’d just stand there and take it but them insulting her was something he couldn’t abide.
“But they insulted you. They said--”
“William... please.” She stared at him and massaged his wrist with her thumb, hoping to distract him. “Let’s just go.”
“Please, William,” mimicked the boy in an annoying falsetto and his friends laughed.
Buffy glared at them and grasped William’s hand before passing the three boys. One of them slapped her ass and before thinking about it twice, Buffy twisted around and slapped the boy hard across his cheek. He stood there, shocked as he pressed his hand against the stinging skin while William struggled to take in what happened.
“Don’t you dare touch me or talk to me and William like that ever again,” she hissed and heard them mutter insults before she slightly pulled at William’s hand as she walked away.
From the corner of her eye, she could see William gritting his teeth in anger and humiliation as he processed the incident. It practically poured out of him.
“Are you upset with me?” she asked.
He stopped walking and even though he still held her hand, Buffy felt as if he was enclosed in a place she couldn’t reach. “No. It’s me that I’m…” He lifted his gaze to hers and Buffy’s heart clenched at the anguish in his eyes. “Don’t you see, Buffy? How can you even be with me when I can’t… I should have done something. I’m the reason they treat you that way. I should have stepped in, should hav-”
Buffy pressed her forefinger against his lips and shook her head. “William, I can fight my own battles. I don’t want you to do it for me. I don’t expect you to start pummeling anyone that throws an insult my way.”
“But I want to… God, I can’t stand them treating you that way.” He caressed the side of her face, pressing his lips against her temple. “I’ll kill the bastards if they lay a hand on you again.”
The determined, hard voice made Buffy shiver. “You don’t mean that. You could never do anything like that.”
The atmosphere of the dream shifted, and Buffy’s heart picked up in speed as William slipped behind her and encircled her waist with strong arms. The back of her neck tingled in warning as he rasped against her ear.
“Couldn’t I?”
TBC
Chapter sixteen
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Chapter 16
Spike entered the latest apartment they’d acquired, shutting the door behind him as he peered around the spacious penthouse styled apartment. Darla always insisted on posh dwellings.
'Gotta have her luxury, the spoilt bint.'
“Anyone home?” he called out, but got no response.
Shrugging, Spike headed into the living room to drop the books on the table. He’d been researching anything with a mention of Slayers he could get his hands on to the point where both Darla and Dru called him obsessed. He was pretty certain he’d learnt more about the Chosen Ones in the last few months than even the Council knew.
His gaze widened slightly when he looked at the plush beige carpet now covered in dirt suspiciously looking like footprints. It seemed he forgot to take off his boots. Again. Darla was going to kill him this time.
'The chit’s worse than Martha bloody Stewart.'
He’d have to clean it up before they came home or Darla would have him by his balls. And it wouldn’t be pretty.
With a sigh, Spike headed to the bathroom to retrieve detergent and a scrubber before he slipped out of his leather duster. He’d had it since the great Earl Abbington bit the dust under his hands, earning him quite a reputation. One look at the duster hanging over an antique armchair and Spike had known he had to have it. It had called to him somehow. It was battered and old. It had character. It was a trophy.
Putting the duster on the sofa, Spike knelt down and set to cleaning up his mess.
Just as he was finishing, the front door crashed open, and he heard Darla and Dru stumble in giggling like mad. Before either one of them could spot the detergent and scrubber in his hands, he quickly hid them beneath the sofa and rose to his feet.
Darla waltzed in and stopped, leveling him with a penetrating stare. He suppressed a flinch and instead smirked at her.
“So… how was your evening? Anything interesting happen?”
Darla sniffed at the air and Spike watched her closely. “Do I smell… detergent?”
Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “What? No. Why would you… I mean… yeah. Uh… the cleaner chit was here earlier so that’s probably it. Anyway,” he clasped his hands together and approached her, “love the hair.”
If there was one way to avoid Darla’s not-so-pleasant side and derail her attention elsewhere, it was by complimenting her.
Predictably, she smiled and patted her hair. “I got a new haircut today.”
'Good guess, Spike. Crisis averted for the time being.'
“It’s gorgeous, pet. And where’s Dru?”
Darla frowned. “No idea. She was right behind me when I got in.”
They heard something crash in the bedroom and glanced at each other before following the sound. Spike had to chuckle at the first sight of Dru. He couldn’t help it. In her haste to change clothes she somehow got stuck, and both her head and one arm were half sticking from the neckline of her new blouse. Her hair was all askew as she moaned pitifully.
Spike went to help her out and together they managed to get the clothes and Drusilla’s limbs all into their proper place.
“There now. All better, yeah?’
Drusilla grinned and twirled. “Do you like it?”
“It’s stunning. You look like a princess.”
She smiled at him and batted her eyelashes before swaying her way towards Darla.
“So what did you do all day? Reading again?” Darla asked him.
“Maybe,” he said sullenly.
“Ah, Spike. Maybe you should find another hobby for yourself. You’ll never take this Slayer out.”
“Took out Abbington, didn’t I?”
“You did, and we’re very proud of you but the Slayer is… you find one, you move on to wreak havoc somewhere else. You get to live longer. And this one is rumored to be out for blood. She’s pretty no nonsense about it from what I’ve heard. I bet she’s got the butch look to complete the image.” She smiled at him slyly. “Is that what turns you on?”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, gets me all hot and bothered it does. Jealous?”
“Nothing to be jealous about.” Darla encircled Drusilla’s waist. “I’m just giving you a good advice. After all, I have lived much longer than you.”
“I’m not afraid of anything. Not like you.”
“That’s what’s going to get you killed one of these days. Why can’t we just go somewhere else? I’m getting tired of this place. We’ve been here for almost a year. It’s getting boring.”
“Not until I get to fight her.”
Darla squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to regain her composure. “If I’d known you’d be this stubborn I would never have let Dru sire you.”
Spike grinned. “You keep saying that, but we both know it’s not true.”
Darla huffed and narrowed her eyes. “William.”
She only called him that when she was frustrated with him. It only made him want to tease her.
Spike closed the distance between them, winking at Drusilla who was playing with Darla’s hair and said, “Bear with me just a bit longer and then we’ll go wherever you want. I promise… Grandma.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah well… if you’re not dust by then.”
“I’m too stubborn to die, aren’t I?”
********
They sat in the living room, Spike studying the books and making notes while Darla and Dru lay sprawled along the length of the couch with their feet next to him. They’d been driving him to distraction the last hour. Whatever the reason, every time the two of them came from shopping slash killing spree, they’d get all content and girly. Must have been the combination of new shoes and the satisfaction only a good kill could bring.
Spike never felt satisfied. He envied them.
Drusilla kicked him in the thigh for the hundredth time and he growled. They both laughed at his reaction, whispering something he couldn’t hear.
'Women!'
“I’m trying to work here, so would you two turn it down a notch?”
Drusilla pouted. “Our Spike is all grumpy.”
“That he is. Must be the sexual tension,” Darla said.
They both giggled again and he clenched his jaw. He tried to avoid their little games as often as he could. The only time he’d ever had sex with them was when they attacked him after a hunt. When the adrenaline was so high, the demon couldn’t be contained and it naturally submitted to his Sire and Grandsire. They really enjoyed making him submit. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, but he’d always thought it’d be somehow special. To share something so intimate with another person. With someone he loved.
For them it was nothing but passing the time when bored. Inflicting pain. Sating the need. Sex always went hand in hand with violence and bloodlust to the point where it was impossible to separate them. And they hadn’t above slipping something into his drink to make him do what they wanted.
He never drank around them anymore.
They used him for his body, and his demon couldn’t care less because in a way he used them too. But the human part of him he shielded inside felt violated. Resigned to lifetimes of never knowing what it would feel like to really make love to someone. To be caressed with intimacy.
He chanced a glance in their direction and shook his head. They’d somehow managed to rip the new clothes off and Darla was biting Drusilla’s breast, pinning her arms to the couch as she forced her into submission. Their naked bodies gleamed under the obscure light as they rubbed against each other, biting each other’s lips and moaning before focusing their yellow eyes in his direction.
His body responded to the sight and he turned away, not wanting to give them the satisfaction. Darla liked to gloat every time he gave in to his demon and let them have their way with him. She said that one day they’d seduce him even when he wasn’t in the post feeding frenzy or under the influence. They were beautiful, all pale flawless skin, slim bodies and round breasts, but one thought of Buffy and bitter self-hatred would flood his entire being.
What would she think of him if she were alive and knew he’d betrayed her like that? That he was so weak he couldn’t control his demon long enough to resist the call of his family?
Letting out a shuddery breath he glared at them, gathered his books and locked himself in one of the bedrooms.
********
Sitting on the damp ground for so long would probably get her sick even if the sun was shining down on her. Still Buffy didn’t move. It’d been one year from the day William died, and he had no proper grave for her to put flowers on. It bothered her. The mere idea of what could possibly have happened to William’s body made the blood in her veins run cold. It was better not to think about it.
She traced the sloppy inscription of William’s name on the makeshift wooden cross she’d made by herself. It was hidden beneath a tree behind Giles’ apartment and nobody bothered her here. She could mourn him in peace.
Buffy’s life had fallen into a boring routine in the last year. If one could call slaying demons on a regular basis boring. She’d stroll through the nights hunting down anything evil only to fall asleep when the sun’s first rays illuminated the sky. The irony of keeping a vampire’s schedule didn’t escape her.
Giles was pretty much clueless when it came to her extra slaying nocturnal activities. Maybe because he was already deeply asleep by the time she sneaked out of the apartment for the second time. Faith knew though. But lucky for Buffy, Faith seemed to understand and kept it to herself. Sometimes she even went along. She was a decent fighter, quicker and stronger than a regular human but not even close to Buffy’s level. Apparently, Faith was something called a potential Slayer and in a way, it made Buffy feel even closer to her.
It was nice to have company, someone to talk to. Faith had been subtly-- or what passed as subtle in her mind—trying to nudge Buffy back into dating. Kept saying Buffy needed a rebound even though the idea of it repulsed her. The memory of the stranger’s lips upon hers those few months back was enough to turn her off.
Giles had gone to meet with the Council, and Buffy was sure he was hiding something from her. He thought she didn’t notice how he hastily ended his calls every time she entered the room. It had something to do with the Aurelian vampires, Buffy just knew it. He’d been dodging her questions ever since he first told her about them--always making up excuses on how they moved too fast for the Council to be able to pinpoint their location.
Preventing her from seeking them.
It was probably nothing and her suspicions were ridiculous. He wouldn’t keep something important from her, would he? The only reason she could think of was Giles’ fear of her getting killed, so he kept their whereabouts obscure.
She had her hands full as it was, but if a word got to her that they were close, all bets would be off. Not even Giles could stop her from hunting them down.
A hand clasped her shoulder and Buffy looked up.
“Your butt’s gonna fall off if you sit here any longer,” Faith said.
“Nah. I haven’t been here that long.”
“You’ve been sitting here for three hours, Buffy.”
Buffy frowned. “I have?” Faith offered her hand and Buffy took it, letting her friend yank her to her feet. “Guess time does fly by when you’re having fun.”
Faith let out a sigh then tilted her head. “I’ve found something in Giles’ cabinet. You know what they say… when the old cat’s gone…”
“Let’s raid Giles’ liquor storage?”
“You know me so well.” Faith dragged Buffy towards the apartment and shook the bottle of scotch in her hand. “Look what I found.”
Buffy shook her head. “I don’t know if this is such a good idea.”
“Come on, B. Even you deserve to let go sometimes.”
Buffy bit her lip and looked at Faith’s hopeful expression. “Fine. But only a little.”
'What could possibly go wrong?'
TBC
Chapter seventeen
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Chapter 17
Spike lay sprawled on the bed, his face hidden in the pillow beneath, the fabric smooth and silky against his tired skin. It felt as if he’d lived lifetimes.
Darla and Dru avoided him like the plague, saying he was even more irritable than usual. Apparently, his silent treatment was enough for them to leave him alone and go have fun on their own. They left the night before and probably crashed somewhere else due to the sun coming up.
Despair clutched at him, had been refusing to let go for the last few days. He couldn’t remember what it felt like.
To be happy.
It had been exactly one year. 365 days since he’d last seen Buffy’s face. The stretch of time made him feel as if eternity had passed since then and at the same time, losing her could have happened yesterday for the pain still imprinted on his heart.
All his energy left him and all he could do was just lie there and wallow in self pity with limbs splayed and useless and her hair tie twined around his hand. The fabric was worn out and tinted black from being carried around in the pocket of his black jeans for so long. Some threads had come undone.
'Buffy.'
God, even thinking her name hurt. It would be sacrilege to even try to say it out loud. He didn’t dare whisper it anymore; her sweet name should never have to pass such an unworthy mouth. Her memory didn’t deserve to be tainted by the likes of him.
Yet, his stubborn brain kept flinging at him the memory of her lovely smile and trusting eyes, tormenting him with something he could never touch again. She was beyond his reach. He pictured her sitting on a cloud in a white billowing dress as a gentle breeze ruffled her golden hair. Her face glowed with inner light that had always made him feel warm. He had no doubt heaven was the place Buffy would go. She’d been the epitome of kindness.
'Befriended a useless wanker like me, didn’t she? And look where it got her.'
If she had stayed away from him, she would be alive right now. How did he always manage to fuck everything up? His mother should never have gotten pregnant. Everyone would be happier if he didn’t exist. Why did Drusilla and Darla save him? They should have left him bleed to death, let the hellhounds take him to the place he’d inevitably end up anyway. Let him be shredded and torn apart, for what was he without her?
Nothing but a ghost, full of rage.
If she could see the things he’d done, she wouldn’t be smiling at him. Her beautiful face would be stained with tears, her mouth twisted in revulsion at what he’d allowed himself to become. She’d never understand why he did what he did. There was no excuse.
How long could he carry on like this?
He could feel the flaring anger slowly simmering down every day, leaving nothing but the horrible pain and guilt behind. What would happen when he finally ran out of the only emotion keeping him sane?
Spike lifted himself to a sitting position and pushed himself to his feet, his stomach laden with a cold weight. His entire being was torn between smashing up the carefully arranged furniture in a fit of self pity and running until his legs couldn’t carry him anymore. His duster was tossed carelessly on a chair and he walked towards it with a new purpose burning in his heart.
He knew what he had to.
*********
Faith watched Buffy stagger as she walked towards the club entrance. She ran to catch up with her in case she got into some trouble. Who knew Buffy couldn’t hold her liquor? At all.
“Hey, B. Wait up.”
Buffy swirled on her heel, almost falling on her ass in the process. Her lips widened in a hazy unfocused smile. “Faith! I’m a drunken, drunken Buffy!”
Faith shook her head in amusement and led Buffy to one of the stools, helping her sit on it. Buffy had been miserable the whole day, at first refusing to have a sip of Giles’ scotch even though she’d said she would. As the sun set, Buffy had changed her mind, saying she needed something to dull the misery. She’d downed a couple of shots before Faith could blink. Now she had an inebriated Buffy on her hands.
Being the Slayer obviously did nothing for her constitution. It also did nothing for her stubbornness. Buffy kept insisting they go to the club to have the colourful drinks with little umbrellas in them and dance, threatening to go alone when Faith hesitated. Now she knew what it felt like for Buffy to baby-sit her every time she had a bit more to drink. Not that Faith minded, but her friend was a tough one to keep an eye on.
Buffy sprung up from her seat and disappeared in the crowd. Faith cursed, trying to keep track of her friend.
She found her drinking beer straight from the bottle, obviously having taken it from the befuddled looking guy standing next to her.
Buffy spotted her and grinned. “Look… beer!”
The guy regarded her with an irritated expression and said, “Do you mind? That was mine.”
Faith walked over to them and smiled at him flirtingly, biting her lip and batting her eyelashes. No guy ever resisted her charms. “I’m sure you don’t mind… do you?”
He looked kind of nerdy and Faith wasn’t surprised when he blushed. “I-I guess not.” He stretched out his arm, waiting for her to shake it. “I’m Chris.”
Faith took it and shook. “Faith. And this thief here is Buffy.”
Buffy took that moment to finish off the beer and belched in a very unladylike fashion. “What about Buffy?”
“Great, she’s talking about herself in third person. That can’t be good.” She took Buffy’s arm and dragged her away before shooting an apologetic grin at Chris.
“He was totally checking out your boobs,” Buffy said and furrowed her brows as she glanced down at hers. “Why are yours bigger than mine?”
“No more drinks for you tonight.”
“Why? Buffy wants fun.”
“Yeah, well… Buffy needs to slow it down a bit. You’re gonna feel shitty tomorrow.”
“I feel shitty every day,” she whispered then graced her with another plastic smile. “But I feel fuzzy now… heh… fuzzy. Fuzzy!”
“Alright, I hear you. No need to yell. Fuzzy. Got it.” She pushed her down onto a chair. “Now, sit your ass down and stay here. I’m gonna bring you something to drink.” Something with caffeine in it. “God help you if I don’t find you here when I get back. Stay. Here.”
Buffy nodded and crossed her heart. She watched Faith head to the bar before she shot to her feet. Her brain felt as if it were encased in cotton, the pain dulled along with it. At least this once, she could just have fun without that twisting ache digging into her insides. She staggered, the floor swaying beneath her unsteady feet.
'Whoa!'
“Ugh… Stupid room… stop moving.”
Someone clasped a hand around her forearm. Male someone. “Need some help, little girl?”
Buffy scowled at him. “Let go… butthead.”
He just laughed. “I’m wounded. Now, what about one dance?”
Buffy’s eyebrows shot so high she was convinced they hit her hairline. She’d tell him to stop manhandling her if it weren’t for the fact that even thinking the long word induced a headache. Instead she shrugged and caught his hand in a firm grip. Then twisted.
He let out a yell and backed away from her, muttering about crazy bitches. Buffy didn’t particularly care and continued on her way towards the bathroom.
She was just about to go in when she saw it. A pale, tackily dressed man leading a young naïve coed out of the bar and right into the dark alleyway behind. With no fear, Buffy followed them out, the metal door banging shut behind her.
Her loud steps obviously didn’t deter the vampire from shoving the girl into the shadows and sinking his teeth into her neck. Buffy narrowed her eyes and caught up to them, poking the clueless vampire in the shoulder.
He turned around with a snarl and tossed the girl aside who promptly ran away, one hand holding her neck.
“Didn’t anyone tell you how rude--”
He punched her in the face before she could finish her sentence, and now she was really mad.
She growled and hit him across the face before shoving him against the wall. She was about to whip a stake from the waistband of her jeans when she realized she didn’t have any. Seeing the opportunity, the vampire laughed and kicked her in the stomach before smashing her face against his knee as she doubled over.
Her balance was off due to the alcohol consumption and she fell down. The vampire straddled her in a blink of eye and pinned her arms to the ground. Buffy experienced a sudden moment of clarity. Was this how she was going out? Before she could have her revenge? In a dirty alley, spit out chewing gum stuck to her butt, drained by a vampire with no fashion sense?
His fangs grazed her neck as she struggled, trying to wriggle her way from beneath him. For one second she contemplated giving in, just letting him kill her. It would be over. All the pain, the fear, the loss. All of it. She could be free and maybe—just maybe—William would be on the other side waiting for her.
'William.'
She wouldn’t give up so easily, wouldn’t give a pathetic demon the satisfaction of breaking her. She closed her eyes and concentrated all her energy before somersaulting backwards with a firm grip on the vampire, effectively ending up on the top as the vampire stared at her in confusion. She grinned humourlessly and ripped his head clean off before he could let out a word.
It was when she stood up that she realized she had company. Three vampires materialized from the shadows and she braced herself, her head clear.
They wouldn’t know what hit them.
In that moment, the door slammed open and Faith run out, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of Buffy unharmed. She spotted the company and tossed Buffy a stake before she joined her at her side.
They shared a hungry look before giving the vampires all they had.
********
Just one time that she wasn’t being responsible--just once--and the universe decided to punish her anyway. Someone up there must have really hated her. “Ow.”
Faith patted Buffy on the shoulder. “Stop whining, girlfriend. You knew what you were getting into.”
God, her head was pounding, and at the rate she was going, she’d probably be the reason of American water supply drying up. She’d never been more thirsty in her life.
“Not really. I’m never drinking booze again. It’s not worth it.”
They had dispatched the vampires in a few minutes, Faith sustaining a couple of injuries, but nothing serious. Buffy would never have forgiven herself if her friend had gotten seriously hurt because of her.
“I’m sorry, you know. For getting you into trouble,” Buffy said.
“Nah. You know me. Always up for a tussle.” Faith sensed an opportunity to guilt her friend into something she’d been trying to make Buffy do for weeks. “Though I gotta admit I was scared shitless when I couldn’t find you.”
Buffy glanced at her guiltily. “Don’t let me drink again. Ever.” She pouted. “Forgive me?”
Faith appeared to mull it over. “I don’t know. I might… under one condition.”
“What condition?”
“Blind date.”
“Huh? You wanna go on a blind date with me? Isn’t that kind of pointless?”
Faith chuckled and slapped Buffy on the back. “Ah, B. You dirty girl. Didn’t know you swung that way.”
Buffy’s jaw dropped open and she stared at her in horror. “What? No! No, no, no, no! That totally wasn’t what I meant! I mean not that you’re not… you know… attractive, but--”
“Chill out, B. I was just teasing.”
“Oh. Well… good.” Then Buffy scowled at her when she laughed. “Not funny.”
“It was a bit. Now… the blind date. I met this really cool guy that would be the perfect rebound for you.”
Buffy let out an annoyed sigh. “You know I’m not up to it. All men are sleazy idiots.”
“Geez, I’m not asking you to marry him. Just go out, have fun. Let him pay for dinner. Have sex… I don’t care. Just… You can’t keep dwelling on the memories or it’s gonna drive you crazy. William is gone, Buffy, and it’s just one date. Come on… Just go this once, and it’ll be the last time you ever hear me mention it.”
“And you’re telling me you won’t… not once… say the ‘date’ word?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, fine. But you better keep your promise.”
She could ditch the guy after the first hour or accidentally break his arm if he went all touchy feely on her. She wouldn’t even let him get close enough to try. So why did it feel as if she was betraying William?
*********
Two hours away, Spike swaggered into a pub, relishing the terror pouring out of the local demons.
“So, fellas. Anyone know where I can find the Slayer?”
TBC
Chapter eighteen
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Chapter 18
Giles had come home from the Watchers’ retreat a few hours ago and was now sitting in his favourite armchair with his nose buried in a dusty tome while Buffy searched the room for her earrings. She and Faith had bought a fairly cheap bottle of scotch at a local store with Faith’s fake ID. In the hopes of covering what they’d been up to in his week long absence, they had poured it into Giles’ now empty liquor bottle. Hopefully, he’d never know.
“Aha!” Buffy victoriously scooped up the accessories from behind the television, and her cheeks reddened when Giles raised his eyebrow.
“You’ve been successful in your search, I take it.”
“Yup. Success is me.” Buffy put the little crystals into the front pocket of her jeans and sat down on the couch. “So how was your Council stuff?”
Giles squirmed in his seat and avoided her gaze. “Nothing too exciting. I believe you’d call it stuffy.”
“So… anything new on the Aurelians?”
If possible, Giles got even more flustered and it tipped her off that he was definitely hiding something from her. “We still couldn’t trace them. Perhaps they’re using some sort of cloaking spell. Drusilla has been known to dabble into the Dark Arts. You shouldn’t worry yourself about it.”
“Shouldn’t I be tracking them down instead of letting them run free all over England?”
“Ah... well, I can’t very well let you wander off on your own. Y-you’d need backup and given the current situation, it would be best for us to wait and see how things progress. As your Watcher, I think you have quite a lot of responsibilities here in Bath. You’re needed here, and it would be the best option to stay here and worry about it when they’re spotted in the immediate area.”
Buffy opened her mouth to argue, but instead let out a sigh. It wasn’t like she had money to go traveling all over the country in the search of them. Faith chose that moment to skip down the stairs and sit on the couch next to Buffy.
“How’s it rolling, kids?”
Giles rolled his eyes. “Hello, Faith. I take it you had a pleasant time while I was gone.”
Faith batted her eyelashes at him. “We missed you. Didn’t we, B?”
“Very much.”
“As much as I appreciate it, don’t think I haven’t noticed my missing scotch.”
“What scotch?” Faith pretended to be both confused and affronted while Buffy guiltily blushed.
Giles snorted. “Please, I’d notice a cheap imitation of the good stuff even half asleep.”
“Damn. Looks like we got caught,” Faith whispered to her. “So, I bet you had a great time drinking tea… and playing chess.”
The corners of Giles’ mouth curled up in a reluctant smile, clueing them in of that fact he saw right through the sudden change of subject and was willing to play along. “Yes, that’s exactly what we did.”
“Did you wear fedora?” Buffy asked with a grin.
“Why in God’s name would I do such thing?”
“No clue. But in my mind you wear it. It’s a funny visual.”
Faith turned to her, eyeing the casual jeans and t-shirt attire. “Buffy, your date arrives in a half an hour and you’re not even dressed.”
Buffy groaned and lifted herself up from the couch. “I hate you sometimes, you know that, right?”
Faith grinned and sent her an air kiss. “Love you too.”
Buffy trudged to her room to get ready, the sounds of Giles and Faith bantering bringing a smile to her face. One could find family in the strangest of people.
********
The door bell rang, and Buffy ran a nervous hand through her hair. Why did she let herself be talked into this again? Who knew what kind of man Faith fixed her up with? He probably rode a motorcycle and owned a bullwhip.
Determined to find out, Buffy put her hand on the doorknob, twisted and opened the door.
“Hi, I’m Josh,” her date for the evening said. “And you’d be Buffy, I presume.”
She nodded and shook his hand. “That would be me.”
“Shall we go then?”
“Let’s do this.”
********
The date was going well. There was food which she didn’t have to pay for. That was always a bonus. The man taking her out wasn’t dressed in leather, which she’d half expected and feared. It could be worse.
'Oh, who am I kidding? This must be the biggest fraud of a date in the history of dates.'
Josh kept talking and talking until Buffy thought her ears would bleed. Instead she tuned him out to preserve her own sanity, only nodding and smiling when it seemed appropriate. She kept glancing at the clock fixed on the wall of the restaurant over his shoulder. The minutes were dragging as if in slow motion, and Buffy resisted urge to bang her head against the table. Or his head.
'Definitely his.'
Buffy knew Faith meant well, but did she really think Buffy would get along with someone so… pretentious? Yeah, that was the word that described him perfectly. He wore a turtleneck and loafers! What was he, fifty? And he kept swirling the wine, sniffing it in a snobbish way, winking at her above the rim in a show of pretentious camaraderie. Did he really think she was impressed? She was kind of surprised they served her alcohol, but he seemed to know the waiter so that was probably the reason.
'Where are the demons when you need them?'
Then she noticed he stared at her expectantly, probably having asked her something. Now he finally started to inquire about her personal life?
“Sorry, come again?”
“I asked if you enjoyed opera?”
Was he kidding? She was seventeen. “Yeah… all that high pitched singing in a different language… can’t get enough of it.”
He smiled slyly, obviously having missed the sarcasm in her voice. “It’s rather wonderful, isn’t it?”
“Totally. So listen… I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old are you?”
He laughed and took a sip of the red wine. “Twenty-three. And Faith told me you were almost twenty?”
Buffy’s eyebrows almost shot up to meet her hairline, but she suppressed the reflex and nodded. “Yup, exactly.”
'Faith, you are so dead.'
“My family owns the restaurant. My father always tells me that business comes first. Then one can afford to shower pretty girls like you with shiny trinkets.” Josh laughed in what Buffy supposed was to be charming and flirtatious manner.
She forced a smile, and chewed on her food. It wasn’t that he was a bad guy, but he rubbed her in a really wrong way. She could just see him when he was older, walking into his big house and greeting his very own Stepford wife as she cooked in an apron, both of them smiling in that fake happy way.
Buffy couldn’t cook to save herself from starving. And she couldn’t for the life of her focus on another one of his monologues about women’s and men’s place in society.
'Oh, I’d show your place, you chauvinistic pig. '
Facing an angry demon, even those notorious Aurelians, would have been a better way to spend the evening. Really, there was no man that could ever get her, match her. She was doomed to die alone, surrounded by cats and smelling like mothballs.
Buffy viciously cut the meat on her plate and glanced at the clock again.
********
Spike hit the steering wheel with his palms and got out of the car with his duster billowing behind him before he stopped and kicked the car’s wheel. Repeatedly.
'Bloody useless piece of junk.'
He wondered why he couldn’t have stolen another car, one that would actually run. It was all Dru’s and Darla’s fault since they took his car and hid it, refusing to tell him where. They were purposely trying to keep him from going after the Slayer. When Drusilla started to babble all kind of twisted premonitions, Spike actually got worried there for a while. But facing the Chosen One was something he had to do, and no amount of Darla’s and Dru’s manipulation would force him to do otherwise.
Once he beat the information about the Slayer’s whereabouts from local demons and managed to slip out unnoticed by his Sire, Spike decided to hit the road. It took him a week to do so, and it seemed as if the fate itself was trying to prevent him from getting to Bath. It was just his luck that his car would not only break down once, but twice in a span of a few hours he’d been driving.
The sun would be coming up in three hours, and he needed to find shelter before he was only dust blowing in the wind. Sending a last spiteful look at the car, Spike started to walk.
*******
Smoke rose from Spike’s skin as he burst into the motel room, throwing the door shut behind him in relief. But even smelling like roasted pork didn’t dissuade him from feeling gleeful. He was finally in Bath, the residence of every demon’s nightmare and his newest challenge.
His eyes had almost bugged right out of his head when a car stopped right next to him as he walked along the road. How could anyone be so gullible as to take a stranger dressed in an ‘I-am-trouble’ outfit into their car boggled Spike’s mind. Not only did he get free ride from a pretty little thing, he also got a free meal out of it.
Attracting women had never been his strongest suite as a human so the attention he was given as a vampire naturally surprised him. Maybe it was the danger he exuded that drew the opposite sex in like bees to honey.
'No woman can resist a bad boy, right?'
Well, whatever it was, Spike was more than all right with it. It wasn’t all bad to have his ego stroked. He was after all, a male.
He doubted the Slayer would have the same reaction. Oh, she’d be all self righteous and stiff, he could practically taste the sweetness of her virtue on his tongue, the rich sweet nectar of her blood trickling down his throat. Just the thought of the Slayer being in the near vicinity made an expectant shiver race up his spine. What would she be like? All butch looking, just like Darla implied?
Spike chuckled and collapsed on a bed, the crisp impersonal odor of the sheets tickling his nose. Probably. It didn’t matter though; not to him. It was her power he was after.
Kill or be killed.
He couldn’t wait to stare death in its face.
*******
He weaved carefully around the tombstones and mausoleums, scanning the parameters for any disturbance. He went out as soon as the sun had set below the horizon, eager to seek her out. A demon that had told him of her location had also advised him to keep the distance as this one seemed to be all too talented at sensing her enemies. Spike didn’t want to engage her in a battle right away. He was no fool; he had a plan.
Watching. Learning all he could about the way she moved. Gaining an advantage.
Sounds of battle disturbed the silence of the graveyard and Spike grinned. Being careful of not getting too near, he clung to the shadows and climbed on top of a mausoleum, crouching down. If his heart was beating, it would have stopped at the sheer beauty of the violence going on in the distance. Something deep inside him roared unexpectedly to life--a primal impulse yanking onto his very core. Wanting. Needing. What, Spike wasn’t sure.
He couldn’t make out much of what she looked like, but the way she moved had him clutching the edge of mausoleum’s roof until his knuckles turned even whiter. She was unlike anything he’d expected. She was so much more.
'What kind of Slayer hunts in such a fancy dress?'
She spun and twirled, a ballerina dancing with death. Graceful and precise. Her blonde hair whipped around her head as she twirled on her feet and sent the pitiful vampire flying several feet away with her powerful roundhouse kick before leaping on the unfortunate demon and ramming a stake into his heart.
'God, but she’s merciless.'
Spike resisted the urge to jump down, march towards her, and engage her in a dance of their own. Just the fact that she was blonde made him growl in angry anticipation. The girls that bore any resemblance to his Buffy were the ones he wanted to hurt the most.
His fangs itched as he watched her walk away and his eyes zeroed in on her retreating form until she disappeared from his sight completely.
Soon.
He’d get closer. He had to see. Craved to glimpse pain and fear in her eyes as she realized she wouldn’t get out of the dance unscathed.
TBC
Chapter nineteen
Author's notes: Aaah, I couldn't wait to update and I cross my fingers that you'll like this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. ;)
Beta'd by the best betas in the whole world- dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
The amazing banner made by xaphania. :)
Chapter 19
Buffy shook off a strange feeling of being watched. It was different from the way she usually felt when a demon was nearby. It made panic rise in her chest, inducing the flight instinct rather than fight. She stopped for a second, sweeping her gaze around the deceptively peaceful atmosphere of the graveyard.
Buffy walked straight home, taking furtive glances over her shoulder all the way.
*******
She’d just opened the front door when Faith popped up in front of her with a grin, pulling her in before closing the door and pushing Buffy to sit on the couch so she could interrogate her.
“So how did the date go?” Faith frowned. “Why is there a twig in your hair?”
“I went patrolling after.” Buffy’s fingers combed through her wavy hair and pulled out a twig with a groan. “I’m never letting you talk me into a blind date ever again. And why did you tell him I was almost twenty?”
“What? You look old enough with the makeup on.”
“That’s not the issue, Faith. He was terrible.”
“Hmm… he was? But I thought you’d like him. He was… classy and intelligent.”
“No, he really wasn’t. He was pompous! A-and… he talked about himself all the time. I thought I was going to fall asleep on him.”
Faith cringed. “Sorry.” Then she shrugged. “You got a free dinner out of it at least.”
“Yeah. The food might have been the only thing that didn’t suck.”
“So when you said you’d never let me arrang-”
“Not a chance in hell.”
Faith sighed.
*******
Giles paced the length of his bedroom, frowning as he listened to the person on the other side of the phone conversation.
“And you’re sure about it? That it’s him?”
“As much as a researcher like me can be, Rupert.”
Giles sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes, glasses in his hand ready for a thorough cleaning. “How can I possibly tell her? She’s just now started to adjust. Dropping something like this on her could very well endanger her life is she gets distracted on patrol.”
“They will meet sooner or later and we both know that. New information about their whereabouts came to the forefront, and it seems the Aurelians have separated.”
A sliver of hope sparked inside him. “Separated? Did some of them leave the country?”
“Not as such, no.” The man fell quiet for a few seconds, obviously mulling over his next words. “I don’t think you’ll like what I’m going to tell you.”
And as quick, the hope crumbled, leaving the taste of ashes in Giles’ mouth. “What do you mean?”
“Drusilla and Darla are still here, though they have relocated somewhere in Scotland. But the fledging... though I’m not sure if I can call him that after the reputation he has already acquired... he’s been spotted heading in the direction of... Bath.”
Giles sat heavily on his bed, feeling short of breath. “Do you think he’s aware of her identity?”
“We have to be prepared for anything. She has to be prepared. He’s going to come after her, probably seeking revenge for the past they shared. We both know vampires aren’t capable of anything but hatred and malicious intent. They always come after their loved ones, and Buffy Summers is the only loved one William Pratt ever had. Your Slayer needs to know, Rupert.”
*******
Giles approached Buffy’s room, his feet heavy as if encased in lead. How could he possibly tell her? She had so much weighing on her and telling her that someone she loved had been turned into a monster she was supposed to kill would break her heart all over again.
Feeling older than he was, Giles raised his hand and knocked on her door.
“Come in,” came the muffled voice from inside, and Giles pushed the door open, entering Buffy’s sanctuary.
“Hi, Giles. What’s up?”
God, the way she was looking at him. So trusting, so young, yet her eyes betrayed a soul that had seen far too much. “Just came to see how you were doing. How was patrol? Anything... unusual happen?”
“Nah. Just the good old slayage. Why are you asking? Is there something wrong?”
Giles sat in the chair, and only then noticed that Buffy had been holding that battered old journal. William’s journal.
He couldn’t tell her.
“No, nothing wrong. I’m just worried about you.” He took off his glasses, busying himself with cleaning the lenses as he contemplated his next words. “Buffy, you do realize that demons... especially vampires are all the same, don’t you? Some of them might be more dangerous than the others but ultimately, they are all driven by their selfish desires and evil. No matter who they were when human, it is only the memories that are left. The soul is gone and there’s only the demon.”
Buffy stared at him, puzzled. “Yeah... I mean, I couldn’t really slay them if I thought they were really the same as humans. If I didn’t, they’d keep murdering people and I can’t let that happen.” She paused. “What brought this on?”
“If you were to... let’s say if you encountered a vampire with the face of someone you used to know... a childhood friend for example... would you be able to kill them?”
Buffy blinked twice and furrowed her brow. “I-I don’t know. I guess... I guess I’d have to. To protect the innocent. They wouldn’t be themselves. It’s only the memories that are the same. Right?”
“Precisely. If you ever were to meet someone from your past and found out they were... different... don’t let them fool you into thinking otherwise. It is unlikely that it would happen but as your Watcher, I want you to be prepared for everything.” Giles rose from his chair and crossed the short distance to squeeze Buffy’s shoulder. “You and Faith are like daughters to me.”
Buffy smiled at him crookedly and put her hand over his. “Thank you, Giles.”
“Now come, I think Faith is burning our dinner.”
*******
The wind picked up in speed, making Spike’s duster billow as he stalked down a cemetery. Tonight, he was a man on a mission. A vampire on a hunt. So far, the Slayer was proving to be a slippery fish to get hold of. She’d been evading him for the past month more successfully than he’d care to admit. He only managed to glimpse her twice and even then, he had to keep his distance before she realized he was there sooner than planned.
But that last time, there was just something… Spike couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
'More like don’t want to.'
The way she moved had him taking in an unnecessary breath. It had been so long since anyone reminded him so strongly of Buffy. And for the Slayer to have any resemblance to his sweet love was the biggest kick in the balls the universe could have dealt him.
He was done waiting, prowling around hiding behind trees and on the roofs of buildings like a coward. The urge to confront her was steadily growing, his skin itching with the need for violence. No more patience. No more observing. He’d find her.
Tonight.
He’d better stumble upon her or there would be bloodshed of the innocent to leave a message and draw her out.
The exhilarating, and at the same time terrifying, feeling of her presence rushed through his entire being, making him quicken his step and his lips widen in a smirk. She was close. He could almost taste it. The adrenaline. The blood. The glory of death. Hers or his. He could sense it deep in his bones.
Tonight would be the end of an era.
The Slayer. There she was, her back to him as she sat on a tombstone, stake held loosely in her hand. His gut clenched almost painfully as he stepped closer, still concealed by trees. In his haste, he failed to notice the twig and the moment it broke beneath his heavy boot, he cursed under his breath. The sound broke through the silence of the graveyard, alerting his enemy of his presence.
Time seemed to come to a halt as she stood and turned to stare in his direction.
Spike grasped at the tree trunk, the roughness of it chafing his skin. He barely noticed the pain. A scream lodged itself in his throat, refusing and needing to tear out of his mouth at the same time. His heart would be slamming in his chest if he were alive, and he’d never felt more dead.
Her face.
'Oh God, oh God, oh God…'
His knees buckled under his weight, and he would have slid to the ground if it weren’t for his grasp on the tree as she stepped closer with a frown marring her beautiful face. She didn’t see him, but he knew he only had a few seconds to run before she caught him. He couldn’t let her. Wouldn’t be able to stand the shock and disgust etched into her features when she realized what he was. What he had become.
His stomach lurched as he staggered backwards, putting distance between them. He took one fleeting glance at her face before he turned and fled.
*******
Spike crashed through the door of the rundown apartment he’d been living in and slammed it close before crumbling. He fell to his knees, hands clenching into fists as he struggled to control his emotions. So many sensations and thoughts flooded his mind; he had trouble staying conscious.
It was her! He could see those green eyes, her skin illuminated by the moon, the fullness of those lips he’d tasted so many times. But how could this be? She wasn’t supposed to be alive. Wasn’t supposed to be a witness to the monster he was. He saw those demons drag her away right before the darkness engulfed him.
'That’s just it, isn’t it? She was probably the Slayer even back then. Why wouldn’t she tell me?'
Hadn’t she trusted him? Something that felt eerily close to betrayal dug its claws into his heart and squeezed. He almost preferred it to the overwhelming swarm of guilt and shame. What had he done? The things he committed out of desperation to stay sane, the lives he’d taken out of anger.
The ways he’d let Darla and Dru touch him.
His stomach was tied in knots, eager to crawl its way up into his mouth before he gave in and emptied the contents onto the cheap gray carpet. Blood of his last victim trickled down his chin and dripped on the carpet beneath. Spike watched with morbid fascination as the liquid soaked into the fabric, creating a dark stain.
This is what he was now, a parasite feeding upon the lives of others. A monster. And Buffy was alive. Breathing, laughing, listening to the awful tracks she called music, combing her hair and brushing her teeth.
She wasn’t dead.
He couldn’t quite comprehend it. The notion was ridiculous and it changed everything.
Before he knew it, a chuckle escaped him. Once it did, Spike couldn’t stop the onslaught of maniacal giggles, and he collapsed completely to the floor. His belly hurt and someone from the room next to his banged on the wall to shut him up but he couldn’t stop. The laughter streamed past his lips, making his muscles spasm and clench, the empty insane sound thunderous in the silent room.
Spike curled into a fetal position and hugged his knees, not noting the point his laughter turned into sobs.
He never hated himself more than he did at this moment.
TBC
Beta'd by the best betas in the whole world- dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
The amazing banner made by xaphania. :)
Chapter 19
Buffy shook off a strange feeling of being watched. It was different from the way she usually felt when a demon was nearby. It made panic rise in her chest, inducing the flight instinct rather than fight. She stopped for a second, sweeping her gaze around the deceptively peaceful atmosphere of the graveyard.
Buffy walked straight home, taking furtive glances over her shoulder all the way.
*******
She’d just opened the front door when Faith popped up in front of her with a grin, pulling her in before closing the door and pushing Buffy to sit on the couch so she could interrogate her.
“So how did the date go?” Faith frowned. “Why is there a twig in your hair?”
“I went patrolling after.” Buffy’s fingers combed through her wavy hair and pulled out a twig with a groan. “I’m never letting you talk me into a blind date ever again. And why did you tell him I was almost twenty?”
“What? You look old enough with the makeup on.”
“That’s not the issue, Faith. He was terrible.”
“Hmm… he was? But I thought you’d like him. He was… classy and intelligent.”
“No, he really wasn’t. He was pompous! A-and… he talked about himself all the time. I thought I was going to fall asleep on him.”
Faith cringed. “Sorry.” Then she shrugged. “You got a free dinner out of it at least.”
“Yeah. The food might have been the only thing that didn’t suck.”
“So when you said you’d never let me arrang-”
“Not a chance in hell.”
Faith sighed.
*******
Giles paced the length of his bedroom, frowning as he listened to the person on the other side of the phone conversation.
“And you’re sure about it? That it’s him?”
“As much as a researcher like me can be, Rupert.”
Giles sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes, glasses in his hand ready for a thorough cleaning. “How can I possibly tell her? She’s just now started to adjust. Dropping something like this on her could very well endanger her life is she gets distracted on patrol.”
“They will meet sooner or later and we both know that. New information about their whereabouts came to the forefront, and it seems the Aurelians have separated.”
A sliver of hope sparked inside him. “Separated? Did some of them leave the country?”
“Not as such, no.” The man fell quiet for a few seconds, obviously mulling over his next words. “I don’t think you’ll like what I’m going to tell you.”
And as quick, the hope crumbled, leaving the taste of ashes in Giles’ mouth. “What do you mean?”
“Drusilla and Darla are still here, though they have relocated somewhere in Scotland. But the fledging... though I’m not sure if I can call him that after the reputation he has already acquired... he’s been spotted heading in the direction of... Bath.”
Giles sat heavily on his bed, feeling short of breath. “Do you think he’s aware of her identity?”
“We have to be prepared for anything. She has to be prepared. He’s going to come after her, probably seeking revenge for the past they shared. We both know vampires aren’t capable of anything but hatred and malicious intent. They always come after their loved ones, and Buffy Summers is the only loved one William Pratt ever had. Your Slayer needs to know, Rupert.”
*******
Giles approached Buffy’s room, his feet heavy as if encased in lead. How could he possibly tell her? She had so much weighing on her and telling her that someone she loved had been turned into a monster she was supposed to kill would break her heart all over again.
Feeling older than he was, Giles raised his hand and knocked on her door.
“Come in,” came the muffled voice from inside, and Giles pushed the door open, entering Buffy’s sanctuary.
“Hi, Giles. What’s up?”
God, the way she was looking at him. So trusting, so young, yet her eyes betrayed a soul that had seen far too much. “Just came to see how you were doing. How was patrol? Anything... unusual happen?”
“Nah. Just the good old slayage. Why are you asking? Is there something wrong?”
Giles sat in the chair, and only then noticed that Buffy had been holding that battered old journal. William’s journal.
He couldn’t tell her.
“No, nothing wrong. I’m just worried about you.” He took off his glasses, busying himself with cleaning the lenses as he contemplated his next words. “Buffy, you do realize that demons... especially vampires are all the same, don’t you? Some of them might be more dangerous than the others but ultimately, they are all driven by their selfish desires and evil. No matter who they were when human, it is only the memories that are left. The soul is gone and there’s only the demon.”
Buffy stared at him, puzzled. “Yeah... I mean, I couldn’t really slay them if I thought they were really the same as humans. If I didn’t, they’d keep murdering people and I can’t let that happen.” She paused. “What brought this on?”
“If you were to... let’s say if you encountered a vampire with the face of someone you used to know... a childhood friend for example... would you be able to kill them?”
Buffy blinked twice and furrowed her brow. “I-I don’t know. I guess... I guess I’d have to. To protect the innocent. They wouldn’t be themselves. It’s only the memories that are the same. Right?”
“Precisely. If you ever were to meet someone from your past and found out they were... different... don’t let them fool you into thinking otherwise. It is unlikely that it would happen but as your Watcher, I want you to be prepared for everything.” Giles rose from his chair and crossed the short distance to squeeze Buffy’s shoulder. “You and Faith are like daughters to me.”
Buffy smiled at him crookedly and put her hand over his. “Thank you, Giles.”
“Now come, I think Faith is burning our dinner.”
*******
The wind picked up in speed, making Spike’s duster billow as he stalked down a cemetery. Tonight, he was a man on a mission. A vampire on a hunt. So far, the Slayer was proving to be a slippery fish to get hold of. She’d been evading him for the past month more successfully than he’d care to admit. He only managed to glimpse her twice and even then, he had to keep his distance before she realized he was there sooner than planned.
But that last time, there was just something… Spike couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
'More like don’t want to.'
The way she moved had him taking in an unnecessary breath. It had been so long since anyone reminded him so strongly of Buffy. And for the Slayer to have any resemblance to his sweet love was the biggest kick in the balls the universe could have dealt him.
He was done waiting, prowling around hiding behind trees and on the roofs of buildings like a coward. The urge to confront her was steadily growing, his skin itching with the need for violence. No more patience. No more observing. He’d find her.
Tonight.
He’d better stumble upon her or there would be bloodshed of the innocent to leave a message and draw her out.
The exhilarating, and at the same time terrifying, feeling of her presence rushed through his entire being, making him quicken his step and his lips widen in a smirk. She was close. He could almost taste it. The adrenaline. The blood. The glory of death. Hers or his. He could sense it deep in his bones.
Tonight would be the end of an era.
The Slayer. There she was, her back to him as she sat on a tombstone, stake held loosely in her hand. His gut clenched almost painfully as he stepped closer, still concealed by trees. In his haste, he failed to notice the twig and the moment it broke beneath his heavy boot, he cursed under his breath. The sound broke through the silence of the graveyard, alerting his enemy of his presence.
Time seemed to come to a halt as she stood and turned to stare in his direction.
Spike grasped at the tree trunk, the roughness of it chafing his skin. He barely noticed the pain. A scream lodged itself in his throat, refusing and needing to tear out of his mouth at the same time. His heart would be slamming in his chest if he were alive, and he’d never felt more dead.
Her face.
'Oh God, oh God, oh God…'
His knees buckled under his weight, and he would have slid to the ground if it weren’t for his grasp on the tree as she stepped closer with a frown marring her beautiful face. She didn’t see him, but he knew he only had a few seconds to run before she caught him. He couldn’t let her. Wouldn’t be able to stand the shock and disgust etched into her features when she realized what he was. What he had become.
His stomach lurched as he staggered backwards, putting distance between them. He took one fleeting glance at her face before he turned and fled.
*******
Spike crashed through the door of the rundown apartment he’d been living in and slammed it close before crumbling. He fell to his knees, hands clenching into fists as he struggled to control his emotions. So many sensations and thoughts flooded his mind; he had trouble staying conscious.
It was her! He could see those green eyes, her skin illuminated by the moon, the fullness of those lips he’d tasted so many times. But how could this be? She wasn’t supposed to be alive. Wasn’t supposed to be a witness to the monster he was. He saw those demons drag her away right before the darkness engulfed him.
'That’s just it, isn’t it? She was probably the Slayer even back then. Why wouldn’t she tell me?'
Hadn’t she trusted him? Something that felt eerily close to betrayal dug its claws into his heart and squeezed. He almost preferred it to the overwhelming swarm of guilt and shame. What had he done? The things he committed out of desperation to stay sane, the lives he’d taken out of anger.
The ways he’d let Darla and Dru touch him.
His stomach was tied in knots, eager to crawl its way up into his mouth before he gave in and emptied the contents onto the cheap gray carpet. Blood of his last victim trickled down his chin and dripped on the carpet beneath. Spike watched with morbid fascination as the liquid soaked into the fabric, creating a dark stain.
This is what he was now, a parasite feeding upon the lives of others. A monster. And Buffy was alive. Breathing, laughing, listening to the awful tracks she called music, combing her hair and brushing her teeth.
She wasn’t dead.
He couldn’t quite comprehend it. The notion was ridiculous and it changed everything.
Before he knew it, a chuckle escaped him. Once it did, Spike couldn’t stop the onslaught of maniacal giggles, and he collapsed completely to the floor. His belly hurt and someone from the room next to his banged on the wall to shut him up but he couldn’t stop. The laughter streamed past his lips, making his muscles spasm and clench, the empty insane sound thunderous in the silent room.
Spike curled into a fetal position and hugged his knees, not noting the point his laughter turned into sobs.
He never hated himself more than he did at this moment.
TBC
Chapter twenty
Author's note: Symbolism alert for this chapter. :D I'll explain the less obvious ones that I can remember off the top of my head. Mmm... snake in this case is a symbol of rebirth, the pond or any still water is a symbol of death and labyrinth represents search for an internal balance or soul. There are other like crooked path, white flower and such but I'm sure you can figure those out because you're clever! :)
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters, two lovely ladies.
Disclaimer: Can I own Spike? No?! Damn.
Look at how beautiful this banner is! Xaphania made it. :)
Chapter 20
Buffy heard a twig snap and shot to her feet, turning in the direction of the disturbance. As she stepped closer, her senses went haywire and she grasped the stake in her palm, the solid weight of the wood a welcome comfort. That strange feeling of being followed intensified as she approached and then as suddenly as it came to her, it disappeared, leaving her oddly bereft.
With furrowed brows, Buffy tucked the stake into the pocket of her jacket and headed out of the cemetery.
The uneasy feeling followed her all the way home.
*******
Buffy pulled on her yummy sushi pajamas and collapsed on the bed with a happy sigh. Her muscles ached as she stretched out her arms and crawled beneath the covers. The extra patrols took a lot out of her lately and she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
A hand closed around her shoulder and Buffy’s heart started pounding against her ribcage before she whirled around to face the potential threat.
It was just Faith.
“You scared me,” Buffy said and clutched at her chest, laughing in relief.
“Didn’t mean to.” The corner of her mouth curled up in a smile. “We’re sisters.”
“In more ways than one.” Even as Buffy said it, the undeniable truth of the statement hit her as hard as a punch to the stomach would. “You could be just like me.”
“That’s what Giles said, yeah.” Faith slung her arm around Buffy’s shoulders and smiled. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it though. I can’t ever fill your shoes.”
“Would you want to?”
Faith fell quiet, thinking, the moonlight above reflecting off her dark hair as she shook her head. “I might have…if things were different. But not now. Not like this.”
Buffy nodded, accepting her words as they walked down a crooked path. Trees swayed in a gentle breeze, branches creaking, leaves shuffling restlessly. Buffy tilted her head back to stare at the moon.
It wasn’t full yet, but it would be soon.
“Where are we going?”
Faith shrugged, her arm slipping from around Buffy’s shoulders. “It’s not up to me.”
“Not leading me into another disaster of a blind date, are you?”
“Well, there was a dude I think you should meet.”
Buffy groaned, stopping in her stride to face Faith. “I’m not really looking for anything right now. Maybe it’ll be better for me… to be just with me. Okay, that sounded kind of wrong but you know what I mean.”
Faith snickered and nodded as a white flower materializing in her hand, the petals ready to bloom. “Did you drop this?”
Buffy rolled her eyes, a sigh of exasperation whooshing past her lips. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you. Would you stop with the cryptic?”
“Goes with the territory. Don’t kill the messenger and all that.” The flower in her hand withered and died, the petals turning black at the edges before falling off completely.
“It didn’t even have the chance to bloom,” Buffy said with a frown, staring at the ground littered by shriveled petals.
As soon as Buffy looked up, Faith seemed to have disappeared, the clearing shifting and molding into a forest though the path under her feet stayed the same. A shiver ran up her spine, goose bumps erupting on her flesh. Someone was there, watching her. The same feeling of being pinned by an intense gaze swept over her and she found herself staring through the thick darkness to pinpoint the source.
For a moment, Buffy wished Faith had stayed to keep her company. Help her feel less alone.
Always alone.
For some reason, she was reluctant to step off the path. Her body tensed at the thought of losing herself in the vastness of the woods, not being able to find her way back. She walked down the walkway, idly kicking the stones with the toe of her shoe.
She came to an end in front of a door. The hinges screeched as she pushed it open and entered. It took Buffy a while to find her way through the old-fashioned room cluttered with books and high shelves. The room smelled of crisp laundry and old parchment, that sweet antique smell of it permeating the air. She swept her fingers along the edge of a bookcase and walked down the length of it until she reached a big mahogany desk. The armchair behind it swung around, briefly reminding Buffy of all those villain-like cheesy scenes in even cheesier movies, but she didn’t feel threatened by the person sitting in it.
“I’m doing this for your good. I’m trying to protect you,” the person said, and even though Buffy couldn’t see his face for the mask concealing it from her, she’d know his voice anywhere.
“What is it that you’re hiding from me, Giles?”
“You’re not ready to know.”
She beat down the urge to stomp her feet in a show of petulant anger and instead pressed her lips in a taut line. “I am! Whatever it is that you’re keeping from me, I can handle. Haven’t I proven I’m strong enough?”
“I’m doing this for your own good,” he repeated.
Buffy wanted walk around the desk and slap him.
“Shouldn’t I be the judge of what’s good for me?”
He ducked his head to stare at the book with image of a snake etched upon its cover. He traced the lines with his forefinger. “Sometimes, what we believe to be true is merely a matter of our perception. Death. Life. It’s all relative.”
The snake on the cover seemed to come to life right before her eyes, and Buffy stumbled backwards in shock, falling into the bottomless void of blackness. The expected impact of hitting the ground never came. She gasped when she suddenly found herself sitting on grass, the coldness seeping into her skin from the ground beneath her. The wind swept through her hair but the surface of the murky waters of the pond before her never moved. She stepped to the edge of it, peering down into its obsidian depths but never seeing the bottom. Murmurs of voices seemed to surround the dark mass of water, and Buffy backed away.
The sky seemed to have lightened, locked between the world of shadows and light. For the second time, Buffy was startled as someone touched her shoulder. She knew who the hand belonged to without having to turn around. Her throat started to burn, unshed tears dampening her eyelashes.
“William,” she breathed, her heart constricting at the ache of being close to him. Even if he was a mirage.
His arms sneaked around her waist possessively, and she leaned into against his chest without any hesitation. She never knew such solace outside of his embrace.
His breath was cool against her ear. “Are you afraid of the lake?”
Her forehead creased as she pondered his question. Why would he ask her that? What was there to be afraid of? “Are you?”
He sighed and kissed her temple. “Went swimming in it once. Think I could do it again, I’d seek it even.”
“That good, hmm?”
He stiffened behind her, his arms closing around her even tighter. “Not really. But it’s better than not being able to hold you like this.”
“But you’re holding me right now. You’re here, aren’t you?”
“Am I?”
The question was dangerous enough to stop her world from spinning, to shatter the illusion she was desperately clinging to as she folded her arms over his to hold onto him.
Holding onto a ghost.
“Yes, you are! I can feel you!” A tear slid down her cheek, and her breath got caught in her throat. “I can feel you,” she whispered, the solidity of the belief crumbling as he began to slip away, his lack of presence like a sheet of cold rain against her back.
She spun around, her gaze fixed of his form half-covered by shadows. She wished she could see his face. “It’s that easy for you? To just leave me?” she screamed, emotions running rampant, despair licking at her heart. “How could you?”
“I can’t… I shouldn’t… Buffy, why would you want me to taint you? So many things have changed and still… fuck, I’m still so weak. Too weak to stay away from you.”
“Then don’t. I need you! Even like this. I’ll take anything I can get.” She stepped closer, but with her every step, he took one away from her. “Please.”
“I’m not the man you love. I’m a shadow. A bloody shadow!”
“No. That’s not true. I’ll always love you. No matter what.”
He laughed emotionlessly, the sound chilling her to the marrow of her bones. “You wouldn’t.”
The harsh unyielding conviction behind his statement stunned her. Before she could retort, the darkness of the night fell over them and he retreated into the shadows. Buffy ran. Her feet pounded, branches of the trees scratched against her skin as she chased him through the labyrinth. Her breath came in short gasps, heart hammering from exertion and adrenaline pumping through her veins. If he thought she’d just give up and let him disappear then he really didn’t know her at all. She kept running, ignoring the burning muscles of her thighs, breaking past her limitations as she ducked around the labyrinth’s twists and turns, always catching a glimpse of his back but never getting close enough to reach him.
“William, stop!”
He didn’t.
Buffy tripped over a fallen branch, and her body was hurtling forward when she awoke with a gasp, tumbling out of her bed.
Her hands shook as she picked herself up and curled up on the bed, trying to breathe through the pain of losing him all over again.
*******
Spike stirred awake, the sound of her frantic heartbeat still echoing loudly in his ears. He picked himself off the floor, sidestepping the mess he’d made. Bits of broken furniture that had fallen victim to his rage were scattered on the floor.
The mattress dipped beneath his weight, the smell of a cheap motel laundry agent assaulting his nostrils as he buried his face in a pillow. The dream had felt so real, the hope her words had instilled too much for him to bear.
((“I’ll always love you. No matter what.”))
So he’d ran. Like the coward he was.
He’d been dreaming of bloodshed when the dream tilted off its axis and he found himself standing behind her, her scent swamping his senses. How wrong she was to think her love would last once she found out what he truly was.
They had been driven to the opposite edges, divided by an infinite crater of the fate’s making. A crater he’d further dug out by his own actions. Buffy was alive, and it was his fault he’d never touch her skin again, never sample her delicious lips.
He’d been hurtled far too deep into the world painted by blood of the innocent, the ground paved by their torment. Could he even find his way back out again? Into the world where she lived? What if he could no longer judge what was wrong and what was right? The lines had blurred a long time ago and there was no going back.
Spike knew he ought to flee, to put as much distance between him and Buffy to spare her further grief. He’d find Darla and Dru and stay away, longing from a distance even if it broke his heart. Give up on the idea of someone as pure as her being tied to a monster like him.
The question was, for how long could he withstand the selfish need to track her down and claim her as his?
TBC
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters, two lovely ladies.
Disclaimer: Can I own Spike? No?! Damn.
Look at how beautiful this banner is! Xaphania made it. :)
Chapter 20
Buffy heard a twig snap and shot to her feet, turning in the direction of the disturbance. As she stepped closer, her senses went haywire and she grasped the stake in her palm, the solid weight of the wood a welcome comfort. That strange feeling of being followed intensified as she approached and then as suddenly as it came to her, it disappeared, leaving her oddly bereft.
With furrowed brows, Buffy tucked the stake into the pocket of her jacket and headed out of the cemetery.
The uneasy feeling followed her all the way home.
*******
Buffy pulled on her yummy sushi pajamas and collapsed on the bed with a happy sigh. Her muscles ached as she stretched out her arms and crawled beneath the covers. The extra patrols took a lot out of her lately and she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
A hand closed around her shoulder and Buffy’s heart started pounding against her ribcage before she whirled around to face the potential threat.
It was just Faith.
“You scared me,” Buffy said and clutched at her chest, laughing in relief.
“Didn’t mean to.” The corner of her mouth curled up in a smile. “We’re sisters.”
“In more ways than one.” Even as Buffy said it, the undeniable truth of the statement hit her as hard as a punch to the stomach would. “You could be just like me.”
“That’s what Giles said, yeah.” Faith slung her arm around Buffy’s shoulders and smiled. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it though. I can’t ever fill your shoes.”
“Would you want to?”
Faith fell quiet, thinking, the moonlight above reflecting off her dark hair as she shook her head. “I might have…if things were different. But not now. Not like this.”
Buffy nodded, accepting her words as they walked down a crooked path. Trees swayed in a gentle breeze, branches creaking, leaves shuffling restlessly. Buffy tilted her head back to stare at the moon.
It wasn’t full yet, but it would be soon.
“Where are we going?”
Faith shrugged, her arm slipping from around Buffy’s shoulders. “It’s not up to me.”
“Not leading me into another disaster of a blind date, are you?”
“Well, there was a dude I think you should meet.”
Buffy groaned, stopping in her stride to face Faith. “I’m not really looking for anything right now. Maybe it’ll be better for me… to be just with me. Okay, that sounded kind of wrong but you know what I mean.”
Faith snickered and nodded as a white flower materializing in her hand, the petals ready to bloom. “Did you drop this?”
Buffy rolled her eyes, a sigh of exasperation whooshing past her lips. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you. Would you stop with the cryptic?”
“Goes with the territory. Don’t kill the messenger and all that.” The flower in her hand withered and died, the petals turning black at the edges before falling off completely.
“It didn’t even have the chance to bloom,” Buffy said with a frown, staring at the ground littered by shriveled petals.
As soon as Buffy looked up, Faith seemed to have disappeared, the clearing shifting and molding into a forest though the path under her feet stayed the same. A shiver ran up her spine, goose bumps erupting on her flesh. Someone was there, watching her. The same feeling of being pinned by an intense gaze swept over her and she found herself staring through the thick darkness to pinpoint the source.
For a moment, Buffy wished Faith had stayed to keep her company. Help her feel less alone.
Always alone.
For some reason, she was reluctant to step off the path. Her body tensed at the thought of losing herself in the vastness of the woods, not being able to find her way back. She walked down the walkway, idly kicking the stones with the toe of her shoe.
She came to an end in front of a door. The hinges screeched as she pushed it open and entered. It took Buffy a while to find her way through the old-fashioned room cluttered with books and high shelves. The room smelled of crisp laundry and old parchment, that sweet antique smell of it permeating the air. She swept her fingers along the edge of a bookcase and walked down the length of it until she reached a big mahogany desk. The armchair behind it swung around, briefly reminding Buffy of all those villain-like cheesy scenes in even cheesier movies, but she didn’t feel threatened by the person sitting in it.
“I’m doing this for your good. I’m trying to protect you,” the person said, and even though Buffy couldn’t see his face for the mask concealing it from her, she’d know his voice anywhere.
“What is it that you’re hiding from me, Giles?”
“You’re not ready to know.”
She beat down the urge to stomp her feet in a show of petulant anger and instead pressed her lips in a taut line. “I am! Whatever it is that you’re keeping from me, I can handle. Haven’t I proven I’m strong enough?”
“I’m doing this for your own good,” he repeated.
Buffy wanted walk around the desk and slap him.
“Shouldn’t I be the judge of what’s good for me?”
He ducked his head to stare at the book with image of a snake etched upon its cover. He traced the lines with his forefinger. “Sometimes, what we believe to be true is merely a matter of our perception. Death. Life. It’s all relative.”
The snake on the cover seemed to come to life right before her eyes, and Buffy stumbled backwards in shock, falling into the bottomless void of blackness. The expected impact of hitting the ground never came. She gasped when she suddenly found herself sitting on grass, the coldness seeping into her skin from the ground beneath her. The wind swept through her hair but the surface of the murky waters of the pond before her never moved. She stepped to the edge of it, peering down into its obsidian depths but never seeing the bottom. Murmurs of voices seemed to surround the dark mass of water, and Buffy backed away.
The sky seemed to have lightened, locked between the world of shadows and light. For the second time, Buffy was startled as someone touched her shoulder. She knew who the hand belonged to without having to turn around. Her throat started to burn, unshed tears dampening her eyelashes.
“William,” she breathed, her heart constricting at the ache of being close to him. Even if he was a mirage.
His arms sneaked around her waist possessively, and she leaned into against his chest without any hesitation. She never knew such solace outside of his embrace.
His breath was cool against her ear. “Are you afraid of the lake?”
Her forehead creased as she pondered his question. Why would he ask her that? What was there to be afraid of? “Are you?”
He sighed and kissed her temple. “Went swimming in it once. Think I could do it again, I’d seek it even.”
“That good, hmm?”
He stiffened behind her, his arms closing around her even tighter. “Not really. But it’s better than not being able to hold you like this.”
“But you’re holding me right now. You’re here, aren’t you?”
“Am I?”
The question was dangerous enough to stop her world from spinning, to shatter the illusion she was desperately clinging to as she folded her arms over his to hold onto him.
Holding onto a ghost.
“Yes, you are! I can feel you!” A tear slid down her cheek, and her breath got caught in her throat. “I can feel you,” she whispered, the solidity of the belief crumbling as he began to slip away, his lack of presence like a sheet of cold rain against her back.
She spun around, her gaze fixed of his form half-covered by shadows. She wished she could see his face. “It’s that easy for you? To just leave me?” she screamed, emotions running rampant, despair licking at her heart. “How could you?”
“I can’t… I shouldn’t… Buffy, why would you want me to taint you? So many things have changed and still… fuck, I’m still so weak. Too weak to stay away from you.”
“Then don’t. I need you! Even like this. I’ll take anything I can get.” She stepped closer, but with her every step, he took one away from her. “Please.”
“I’m not the man you love. I’m a shadow. A bloody shadow!”
“No. That’s not true. I’ll always love you. No matter what.”
He laughed emotionlessly, the sound chilling her to the marrow of her bones. “You wouldn’t.”
The harsh unyielding conviction behind his statement stunned her. Before she could retort, the darkness of the night fell over them and he retreated into the shadows. Buffy ran. Her feet pounded, branches of the trees scratched against her skin as she chased him through the labyrinth. Her breath came in short gasps, heart hammering from exertion and adrenaline pumping through her veins. If he thought she’d just give up and let him disappear then he really didn’t know her at all. She kept running, ignoring the burning muscles of her thighs, breaking past her limitations as she ducked around the labyrinth’s twists and turns, always catching a glimpse of his back but never getting close enough to reach him.
“William, stop!”
He didn’t.
Buffy tripped over a fallen branch, and her body was hurtling forward when she awoke with a gasp, tumbling out of her bed.
Her hands shook as she picked herself up and curled up on the bed, trying to breathe through the pain of losing him all over again.
*******
Spike stirred awake, the sound of her frantic heartbeat still echoing loudly in his ears. He picked himself off the floor, sidestepping the mess he’d made. Bits of broken furniture that had fallen victim to his rage were scattered on the floor.
The mattress dipped beneath his weight, the smell of a cheap motel laundry agent assaulting his nostrils as he buried his face in a pillow. The dream had felt so real, the hope her words had instilled too much for him to bear.
((“I’ll always love you. No matter what.”))
So he’d ran. Like the coward he was.
He’d been dreaming of bloodshed when the dream tilted off its axis and he found himself standing behind her, her scent swamping his senses. How wrong she was to think her love would last once she found out what he truly was.
They had been driven to the opposite edges, divided by an infinite crater of the fate’s making. A crater he’d further dug out by his own actions. Buffy was alive, and it was his fault he’d never touch her skin again, never sample her delicious lips.
He’d been hurtled far too deep into the world painted by blood of the innocent, the ground paved by their torment. Could he even find his way back out again? Into the world where she lived? What if he could no longer judge what was wrong and what was right? The lines had blurred a long time ago and there was no going back.
Spike knew he ought to flee, to put as much distance between him and Buffy to spare her further grief. He’d find Darla and Dru and stay away, longing from a distance even if it broke his heart. Give up on the idea of someone as pure as her being tied to a monster like him.
The question was, for how long could he withstand the selfish need to track her down and claim her as his?
TBC
Chapter twenty-one
Brilliant banner by xaphania
Chapter 21
The tires of his car screeched when he brought it to an abrupt halt in front of an abandoned building on the outskirts of Bath. It would do for now. Spike rested his forehead against the steering wheel, contemplating the wisdom of his decision. Deep in his heart, he was well aware of making a mistake that could change his existence. He’d probably be dust floating in the wind once she recognized what he was.
He didn’t have a choice.
Not after what had happened with Dru a week ago. Darla and Dru were content if not surprised to see him so soon after his departure, but beside the expected mockery of his cowardice, they had welcomed him without question. They didn’t know of course. Had no idea that he couldn’t kill the Slayer for one simple reason, yet so staggering in its complexity.
The Slayer and Buffy were one and the same.
He’d sworn to himself that he’d keep away. He’d had a plan. A good one. Stay with his family; continue on as if the epiphany of her being alive had never been dropped on his head. It would have been so much easier to stay on the path of bloodshed, the only path he’d walked for the past year and eleven months. He’d fled Bath only to return because everything in him screamed to be near her.
But it was something else that had pushed him over the edge.
'A week ago'
Drusilla danced her way towards him, twirling so fast it made his head spin. Mud painted her bare feet, staining the edges of her long black silky dress. The grass of the meadow was slippery from the rain pouring from the heavens above, and he expected her to slip at any moment.
“I reckon we should find a shelter,” he said, wiping his face only to have the rain splatter his skin again. The clothes hung heavily on his frame, making his step heavy.
Drusilla only laughed and skipped towards him, purring in his ear. “Don’t be so glum. Mice shall have a party when the cat’s away.” She licked the rain from his cheek. “It’s too early.”
Darla had left them to their own devices today, saying she needed some alone time. Which probably meant she was at the apartment with a string of willing men ready to do her bidding and didn’t want to share with Drusilla.
Spike let out a sigh. “Dru…”
She shook her head. “We shall play. To chase the blue fish away from you. There are so many,” she said in a dreamy voice, and in a blink, she was gone.
He cursed and chased after her, the water sluicing into his eyes making it difficult for him to see her properly. She glanced over her shoulder, not in the least bit bothered by the unforgiving weather. Her dress was soaked through, molding itself to her thin frame. Being Dru, she had forgone the underwear. Not that Spike could throw any stones.
She stopped abruptly and turned to face him with that evil glint in her eye that he was so familiar with. Her body swayed and she arched her back with a moan.
“There’s a trespasser in our castle. Naughty, naughty dolly.”
She wandered over to a nearby tree and pulled someone out. Spike had a second to realize the shaking form belonged to a child. The little girl couldn’t have been older than five and had probably wandered off from the nearby houses then got lost.
Spike stood there frozen for a second, his demon roaring at the sound of the frantic heartbeat. He could almost taste the mesmerizing energy of life thrumming through the girl’s veins. Even knowing how wrong it was to hunger for her blood didn’t stop the demon from wanting it. A spark of uncertainty lanced through his heart.
Drusilla sank to her knees and caressed the girl’s cheek, offering a false sense of security that Spike knew for a fact would be mercilessly ripped away in a few moments. The girl gazed up at her with eyes filled with hope.
“What’s your name, poppet?” Drusilla asked.
“Anne.”
“You’re a little sunshine, aren’t you? A sweet little thing. Like an ice cream cone.”
Spike squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and even though the bloodlust flashed brightly through his veins, this was different. It was a child.
A little girl.
For some reason, it made all the difference now. He was a vampire and felt no remorse for the lives he’d taken, but… It was just a kid.
Drusilla had coerced the child into her lap, stroking the girl’s wet auburn hair as she sang her a lullaby. The child’s face was hidden in Drusilla’s shoulder, the tiny neck right under Drusilla’s lips. Unbeknownst to Anne, the arms holding her belonged to a predator, and Spike’s eyes met Drusilla’s just as they melted into the golden gleam of the demon. He burst into motion, set on freeing the child from Drusilla’s grasp, but she was a step ahead of him. With a wicked smile, she ripped her fangs into the child’s artery, viciously tearing her throat open just as Spike reached them.
The girl let out a gurgling noise, a scream lodged in her throat as Dru laughed and tossed her aside. Spike stared at the spectacle, horrified as the girl bled to death, her small fingers twitching as she fought to take in a breath. The smell of her tears speared through the oppressive stench of the rain as it washed away the signs of Drusilla’s cruelty.
There was a gaping hole in the child’s throat, the tendons and muscles completely shredded and having seen it so many times before didn’t stop his stomach from recoiling now. Drusilla giggled and lay on her back with a satisfied smile.
Spike couldn’t stand there like that anymore and knelt down. The little Anne stared at him, her eyes wide with terror, and he closed his own eyes shut as he gently cradled her head, twisting it to rid her off her misery.
'Now'
He hadn’t been able to close his eyes without seeing the little girl’s face, feeling something like guilt prickling at his non-existent conscience. He gritted his teeth. Why did he feel it? It wasn’t like he hadn’t caused a fair share of murder and maiming himself. Why the hell was this any different?
Why did he suddenly feel as if the human part of him had woken from a deep slumber? He’d repressed it so well, stomped on it until there was nothing left but the vampire.
Spike stepped out of the car and slammed the door behind him. The gravel scrunched beneath his heavy boots as he made his way towards the front door of the house and broke his way inside.
The dam separating his humanity from the demon had been cracking for so long that he failed to see the warnings. He was soulless and cruel, but the sound of the child’s neck snapping under his hands still woke him up in the middle of the day. He couldn’t abide feeling this way.
Something had to change.
*******
The dreams kept swarming her subconscious. The memories of William that always ended up with him fading into the shadows though he didn’t talk to her. Not like that one time she dreamed of his arms slipping from around her waist. It had felt so real, but the things he’d said…
So convinced she wouldn’t love him.
Trying to change the memorized dialogue proved to be futile. It was like talking to a moving picture that went on without stopping in pace. Other times she was merely a spectator of the scene going on in front of her, starved to catch his every smile, every nuance of his face as the memory played out between him and the dream copy of herself.
But as she sneaked her way into Giles’ study, her hands sweating, Buffy knew that the part with her Watcher hiding behind the mask stayed the same for a reason. A reason she couldn’t fully comprehend, yet she was determined to unveil and put her fears to rest once and for all.
Eyes darting around, she slipped inside and closed the door quietly behind her.
Whatever it was he’d been hiding, it had something to do with the clan of Aurelius. Buffy just knew. She’d kept asking about them, paying even more attention to his avoiding gaze and nervous ticks. She knew he loved her but his protectiveness was started to grate on her nerves. The only thing he ever told her were the atrocities they had committed, going even as far as drawing gruesome sketches.
But there was something more he wasn’t telling her beside their location. What was he lying to her about?
The papers on Giles’ desk were perfectly organized. His obsession with having important documents organized alphabetically would surely prove to be his undoing one day. He should at least have it in some secret code.
Buffy rounded the desk, where he kept his written notes since she had no interest in the history and demonology books. And he sure wouldn’t keep it out in the open, so the only place he’d hide it would be…
'Score!'
She knelt down and tried all the drawers. The bottom one had been locked. This had to be it. Her heart started hammering as she closed her hand around the handle and broke it.
'Yay for Slayer strength.'
A journal was inside, the leather cover smooth from the constant use and Buffy pulled it out. Pressing her back against the desk’s shelves, she flipped it open and recognized Giles’ writing.
'Ugh, he’s worse than me.'
To be able to read it, she had to squint. She’d start with the last few months. Surely there would be a mention of the Aurelians, and she could finally understand Giles’ strange behaviour.
For maybe half an hour, Buffy skimmed the contents for something that would give her clues, but all she found were pages filled with Watcher talk that made her tired eyes hurt from the effort. She was starting to get frustrated.
Buffy covered her mouth when she yawned, and her eyes promptly widened as she came upon a paragraph that made coldness wrap around her insides.
'All my research and information many of my trusted colleagues provided points to my worst nightmares. I fear for my Slayer’s life were she ever to find out the truth. The truth that a boy she still holds so dear to her heart was turned into a monster set upon her destruction. William Pratt is Spike.'
The journal slipped from Buffy’s numb fingers.
TBC
Author's note: What could possibly happen next? ;)
Chapter twenty-two
Author's note: Finally the chapter you've been waiting for. Are you excited?? Let me know what you think after you read, I'm anxious for your reactions!
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters- they make this story so much better.
Banner made by the very talented xaphania
Chapter 22
The journal’s firm cover was starting to bend in the tight clasp of Buffy’s fingers, her knuckles turning white as she rose to her feet. Instinct nudged her forward and before she knew how it happened she was bursting into Giles’ bedroom, not really concerned with her rude behaviour.
She stood at the foot of his bed, shaking from anger and betrayal as she watched Giles stir awake and fumble with one hand to switch on the lamp on top of his bedside table.
“Buffy, is everything alright?” He sat up and put on his glasses, worry and puzzlement overriding his annoyance at being woken up in the middle of the night.
The secrets within the journal seemed to burn a hole in her palm. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why!”
Giles struggled to understand what had gotten into her, so she threw the leather book on the bed, hitting him squarely in his chest. His flinch didn’t bring her even the smallest amount of satisfaction.
“Buffy, did you read my private journal?”
“Yes, I did.” She stared at him, her lips stretched taut in a cold smile. “You knew William didn’t die and what… you forgot to mention it? God, I can’t believe it. I trusted you!” She started pacing, unable to process the hurt. “All this time you knew… every time I asked about the Aurelians, every time you saw me miserable and you couldn’t have told me?”
“William did die that night. Everything I taught you about vampires is true… they do not have feelings of compassion or love. Why do you think I kept it from you? You’ve suffered enough as it is. I was merely trying to protec-”
“How? How is this protecting me? I’m the Slayer, Giles. I’m not just a regular girl. I could have dealt with this, no matter how much it hurt! It’s my life and my pain and you don’t deserve to be the judge of what’s best for me.” She put her arms around herself in a futile effort of comfort. “All this time I wondered what happened to his body,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” Giles said and flung his covers aside in order to stand up. “I should have told you. I didn’t want to burden you any more than necessary.”
Sudden realization struck her, casing tears to well up in her eyes. “He’s Spike. All those things he’s done… Oh God!” She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold the nausea back.
Giles put his hand on her shoulder. “You have to remember, Spike is not William. He might have the same face and memories, but he’s just a demon. That’s why I didn’t tell you… I feared he’d make you believe he was the same person if you sought him out and … kill you. I know my reasons were misguided, but I was trying to do what’s best for you.”
Warmth spread from the place where his hand rested on her shoulder and there was nothing she longed more for than to be comforted and told everything would be all right. That she wouldn’t have to deal with anything. She needed him to lie to her, but it wouldn’t make the truth hurt any less.
“Giles?” She stared up at him, her voice shaking, even if her eyes gleamed with unwavering determination. “I’ll have to kill him.” The unspoken question mark hung in the heavy air around them.
“I’m afraid so, yes.”
Her heart broke and she collapsed against his chest, letting herself break down for the last time before she shut all the emotions away so she could face Spike.
Face the demon wearing William’s face.
*******
The following night, Spike staggered his way out of a pub. The warm air rushed against his face, oppressive and heavy with a promise of rain, and Spike swung the bottle of liquor to his mouth to take a long swig.
“Now this is more like it, innit, Jack? Just you and me and no bloody women to mess with our heads… or I guess you’ve no head. Sorry about that, mate.”
After a few hours of vigorous drinking, the buzz was finally starting to set in and wrap him in a drunken haze. Wasn’t love grand?
Spike carefully tucked the bottle into the crook of his arm. “You an’ I oughta just stay away, but I just can’t, can I? Gotta see my girl… that radiant smile that makes me feel like a right ponce… ‘s good feeling, you know. And those eyes, the big pools of loveliness and-”
He stared at the bottle accusingly. “Are you laughin’ at me, Jack? Bloody traitor.”
A pair of young people holding hands passed him by, eyeing him strangely as he muttered to himself. He let out a low growl and flashed a fang. “Run along kiddies or I’ll make you my snack!”
He chuckled as they quickened their stride, glancing over their shoulders warily. Then he stared longingly at their joined hands and kicked the curb.
“Fuck!” He snarled as the pain from the impact shot up his feet and started hopping around on his leg, which wasn’t the best idea in his current condition. Spike fell down on his butt, a sullen look firmly in place.
“’M so miserable.” He sniffed and guzzled down the rest of the liquor, before he tossed the empty bottle aside, his toe throbbing with pain. “’Appy to have made your acquaintance, Sir,” he said to the bottle with a salute.
The coldness from the cement sidewalk was starting to seep through his duster so he picked himself up, swayed a couple of times but managed to stay on his feet. With a triumphant grin stretched across his face, Spike made his way down the street towards the more abandoned part of town where his current lodgings were located.
To his annoyance, the fifteen minute walk had dragged him from the blessed state of drunken stupor into a more sober world of regret, and he cursed himself for not stopping at the store he’d passed a while ago to acquire more booze. He rounded the corner, his steps echoing loudly in the silence of the deserted street.
A steady thud of a heartbeat carried to him on the warm breeze, and Spike stopped in his tracks, his body tensing as it prepared for a hunt.
The blood in his veins froze when his eyes met those of his prey. But she wasn’t prey at all, was she? Not with the piece of wood he could see tucked behind the waistband of her jeans as she drank him in. Her eyes were alight with a torrent of emotions, and it was making him dizzy because he could feel it too.
His heart clenched tightly in his chest and for one foolish moment, he expected it to beat. It hurt. The way her eyes filled with hope and recognition before the shutters came crashing down to shield her from him. To protect herself.
Didn’t she know he’d never hurt her?
Her muscles tensed beneath that smooth silky skin and a memory of him tasting it with his lips flashed before his eyes. Her eyes turned hard and he snapped to himself, trying to ignore the way his heart bled.
“Hello, luv. Long time no see, eh?” He heard himself say, hoping it sounded more confident than he’d felt.
Her fists unclenched and he could see her casually reach for the stake, her eyes never leaving his. He knew it would go this way, but deep down he wished. Longed for her to overlook the gaping hole of their differences and run into his arms with romantic music playing in the background.
She grabbed the stake.
“Why?” There was a catch in her voice that made him want to step forward and offer comfort for whatever it was that made her sad. Except, he was the reason, wasn’t he?
He tilted his head and slipped his shaking hands into the pockets of his duster. “Why what?”
She seemed lost, as if there were too many questions she needed to know the answer to, but didn’t know which one to ask first. “You’re a… why did you come here?”
He pulled himself together, clinging to all the bravery he had left in him. “What? No kiss hello? And here I thought you’d be happy to see me. You said you loved me once.” She promised to love him no matter what, didn’t she? It must have been just a dream after all.
Her lips curled in anger. “I loved William. Not you. You’ll never be him. You’re a monster, a thing that killed him and took over his body!” She took a step closer. “And I’m gonna make you pay.”
God, her words were like shards of glass, tearing him apart and making him bleed.
A monster. A thing. It seemed to have stuck on repeat in his brain, the way her voice dripped with hatred. And just like that, the bravery vanished, leaving only desperation behind.
“Buffy…” He could almost feel the burn of tears welling in his eyes and he hated himself for being weak. She wasn’t supposed to cut him with her words, not her. Buffy was kind and loving and now she hated him with her very soul.
And he knew he deserved it.
“No! Don’t you dare to say my name like that! Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You’re not William!” Tears slipped down the fringe of her thick lashes and he knew what he had to do. To make it easier on her.
The alcohol still coursing through his system nodded in agreement.
“Yeah? Good thing too ‘cause the old William was a right pansy, too much of a coward to put it to you properly.” He sneered and ran his hand down his chest, the descent stopping at the belt buckle. “Come on, luv. You know you want it.”
And there it was, the tortured pain in her eyes transforming into outrage.
“I would never want you.”
The streetlight flickered. Then all hell broke loose, and Spike realized all too late that pushing her past the limit of her tolerance wasn’t the smartest idea he’d ever had. Especially in his current state.
His head snapped back from the force of her punch and he staggered on his feet. There was a feral look in her eyes that made the familiar rush of adrenaline course through him as she advanced on him and kicked him in the stomach. Spike doubled over and caught her foot in his hands when she aimed another kick at him, shoving her back.
Instead of falling, she molded the momentum to her advantage and cart-wheeled backwards. Her hair was tangled, her eyes wild as she gripped the stake so hard her hand shook. Spike returned her gaze and they started to circle each other, the tension between them growing with each passing step.
“Had enough, Slayer?”
Her eyes bristled at the title, the animalistic side of her he hadn’t seen before made an unexpected shiver of lust tickle his spine.
“You disgust me. Do you think I won’t kill you because you wear his face?”
'If only it was that easy. I am him, more than you’d like to admit,' he thought bitterly. Her presence brought it out in him more than anything else, but he couldn’t let her see it. It wasn’t as if she’d believe him anyway.
“Who’re you trying to convince? Me… or yourself?”
She broke the tension by lunging forward to backhand him across the face, but he was ready for her and deflected the blow, which sent her crashing into him with her shoulder. Spike lost his balance and they both tumbled to the pavement, the force of impact knocking the stake out of her hand.
He immediately banded his arms around her tightly to prevent her from moving and closed his eyes as the familiar feel of her body pressing against his had him reeling with memories. But she wasn’t relaxed; her muscles were coiled tightly as she struggled to break his hold, her arms locked between their torsos, her quick breath warming his jaw.
“Let me go.” She sputtered curses and wriggled her body to no avail.
“God, I forgot the way you smell,” he said, not aware of voicing his thoughts out loud. Her struggles ceased and he instinctively loosened his hold, his arms embracing her instead of restraining. She lay there for a few precious seconds before the reality of the situation struck her and she snapped out of it. She sat up, effectively breaking his hold and clutched his wrists in her strong hands, slamming them hard against the pavement.
Spike blinked twice and his nose twitched at the smell of his own blood, the back of his hands burning as the gravel dug into his chafed skin. Her bottom lip wobbled as she stared down at him, and he couldn’t muster up enough energy to defend himself as she freed one of his hands so she could slap him. She kept it up until his cheek turned numb, but it didn’t compare to the force of her punches from before. She was holding back, her eyes full of accusations and betrayal.
This was Buffy hitting him, not the Slayer.
He so wished to be able to hold her as she cried, the warm tears dropping down to splash against his cheeks. There was a stake in her hand and Spike had no idea where she’d whipped it out from, but then it didn’t matter because the sharp tip was poised above his heart with unerring accuracy.
They held each other’s gaze, her hands shaking even as she clenched her teeth, obviously trying to force her hand to end this. Spike didn’t fight back.
The tip pressed harder, breaking the skin beneath and Spike could almost taste the ashes of his demise in the back of his throat. He drank in her face, inhaled her scent because he wanted it to be the last thing he’d remember.
Then the weight of her was gone and it took him a moment to realize he was still alive—or as alive as a vampire could be. He pushed himself into a sitting position, staring after Buffy’s retreating form as she ran down the street and away from him.
TBC
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters- they make this story so much better.
Banner made by the very talented xaphania
Chapter 22
The journal’s firm cover was starting to bend in the tight clasp of Buffy’s fingers, her knuckles turning white as she rose to her feet. Instinct nudged her forward and before she knew how it happened she was bursting into Giles’ bedroom, not really concerned with her rude behaviour.
She stood at the foot of his bed, shaking from anger and betrayal as she watched Giles stir awake and fumble with one hand to switch on the lamp on top of his bedside table.
“Buffy, is everything alright?” He sat up and put on his glasses, worry and puzzlement overriding his annoyance at being woken up in the middle of the night.
The secrets within the journal seemed to burn a hole in her palm. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why!”
Giles struggled to understand what had gotten into her, so she threw the leather book on the bed, hitting him squarely in his chest. His flinch didn’t bring her even the smallest amount of satisfaction.
“Buffy, did you read my private journal?”
“Yes, I did.” She stared at him, her lips stretched taut in a cold smile. “You knew William didn’t die and what… you forgot to mention it? God, I can’t believe it. I trusted you!” She started pacing, unable to process the hurt. “All this time you knew… every time I asked about the Aurelians, every time you saw me miserable and you couldn’t have told me?”
“William did die that night. Everything I taught you about vampires is true… they do not have feelings of compassion or love. Why do you think I kept it from you? You’ve suffered enough as it is. I was merely trying to protec-”
“How? How is this protecting me? I’m the Slayer, Giles. I’m not just a regular girl. I could have dealt with this, no matter how much it hurt! It’s my life and my pain and you don’t deserve to be the judge of what’s best for me.” She put her arms around herself in a futile effort of comfort. “All this time I wondered what happened to his body,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” Giles said and flung his covers aside in order to stand up. “I should have told you. I didn’t want to burden you any more than necessary.”
Sudden realization struck her, casing tears to well up in her eyes. “He’s Spike. All those things he’s done… Oh God!” She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold the nausea back.
Giles put his hand on her shoulder. “You have to remember, Spike is not William. He might have the same face and memories, but he’s just a demon. That’s why I didn’t tell you… I feared he’d make you believe he was the same person if you sought him out and … kill you. I know my reasons were misguided, but I was trying to do what’s best for you.”
Warmth spread from the place where his hand rested on her shoulder and there was nothing she longed more for than to be comforted and told everything would be all right. That she wouldn’t have to deal with anything. She needed him to lie to her, but it wouldn’t make the truth hurt any less.
“Giles?” She stared up at him, her voice shaking, even if her eyes gleamed with unwavering determination. “I’ll have to kill him.” The unspoken question mark hung in the heavy air around them.
“I’m afraid so, yes.”
Her heart broke and she collapsed against his chest, letting herself break down for the last time before she shut all the emotions away so she could face Spike.
Face the demon wearing William’s face.
*******
The following night, Spike staggered his way out of a pub. The warm air rushed against his face, oppressive and heavy with a promise of rain, and Spike swung the bottle of liquor to his mouth to take a long swig.
“Now this is more like it, innit, Jack? Just you and me and no bloody women to mess with our heads… or I guess you’ve no head. Sorry about that, mate.”
After a few hours of vigorous drinking, the buzz was finally starting to set in and wrap him in a drunken haze. Wasn’t love grand?
Spike carefully tucked the bottle into the crook of his arm. “You an’ I oughta just stay away, but I just can’t, can I? Gotta see my girl… that radiant smile that makes me feel like a right ponce… ‘s good feeling, you know. And those eyes, the big pools of loveliness and-”
He stared at the bottle accusingly. “Are you laughin’ at me, Jack? Bloody traitor.”
A pair of young people holding hands passed him by, eyeing him strangely as he muttered to himself. He let out a low growl and flashed a fang. “Run along kiddies or I’ll make you my snack!”
He chuckled as they quickened their stride, glancing over their shoulders warily. Then he stared longingly at their joined hands and kicked the curb.
“Fuck!” He snarled as the pain from the impact shot up his feet and started hopping around on his leg, which wasn’t the best idea in his current condition. Spike fell down on his butt, a sullen look firmly in place.
“’M so miserable.” He sniffed and guzzled down the rest of the liquor, before he tossed the empty bottle aside, his toe throbbing with pain. “’Appy to have made your acquaintance, Sir,” he said to the bottle with a salute.
The coldness from the cement sidewalk was starting to seep through his duster so he picked himself up, swayed a couple of times but managed to stay on his feet. With a triumphant grin stretched across his face, Spike made his way down the street towards the more abandoned part of town where his current lodgings were located.
To his annoyance, the fifteen minute walk had dragged him from the blessed state of drunken stupor into a more sober world of regret, and he cursed himself for not stopping at the store he’d passed a while ago to acquire more booze. He rounded the corner, his steps echoing loudly in the silence of the deserted street.
A steady thud of a heartbeat carried to him on the warm breeze, and Spike stopped in his tracks, his body tensing as it prepared for a hunt.
The blood in his veins froze when his eyes met those of his prey. But she wasn’t prey at all, was she? Not with the piece of wood he could see tucked behind the waistband of her jeans as she drank him in. Her eyes were alight with a torrent of emotions, and it was making him dizzy because he could feel it too.
His heart clenched tightly in his chest and for one foolish moment, he expected it to beat. It hurt. The way her eyes filled with hope and recognition before the shutters came crashing down to shield her from him. To protect herself.
Didn’t she know he’d never hurt her?
Her muscles tensed beneath that smooth silky skin and a memory of him tasting it with his lips flashed before his eyes. Her eyes turned hard and he snapped to himself, trying to ignore the way his heart bled.
“Hello, luv. Long time no see, eh?” He heard himself say, hoping it sounded more confident than he’d felt.
Her fists unclenched and he could see her casually reach for the stake, her eyes never leaving his. He knew it would go this way, but deep down he wished. Longed for her to overlook the gaping hole of their differences and run into his arms with romantic music playing in the background.
She grabbed the stake.
“Why?” There was a catch in her voice that made him want to step forward and offer comfort for whatever it was that made her sad. Except, he was the reason, wasn’t he?
He tilted his head and slipped his shaking hands into the pockets of his duster. “Why what?”
She seemed lost, as if there were too many questions she needed to know the answer to, but didn’t know which one to ask first. “You’re a… why did you come here?”
He pulled himself together, clinging to all the bravery he had left in him. “What? No kiss hello? And here I thought you’d be happy to see me. You said you loved me once.” She promised to love him no matter what, didn’t she? It must have been just a dream after all.
Her lips curled in anger. “I loved William. Not you. You’ll never be him. You’re a monster, a thing that killed him and took over his body!” She took a step closer. “And I’m gonna make you pay.”
God, her words were like shards of glass, tearing him apart and making him bleed.
A monster. A thing. It seemed to have stuck on repeat in his brain, the way her voice dripped with hatred. And just like that, the bravery vanished, leaving only desperation behind.
“Buffy…” He could almost feel the burn of tears welling in his eyes and he hated himself for being weak. She wasn’t supposed to cut him with her words, not her. Buffy was kind and loving and now she hated him with her very soul.
And he knew he deserved it.
“No! Don’t you dare to say my name like that! Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You’re not William!” Tears slipped down the fringe of her thick lashes and he knew what he had to do. To make it easier on her.
The alcohol still coursing through his system nodded in agreement.
“Yeah? Good thing too ‘cause the old William was a right pansy, too much of a coward to put it to you properly.” He sneered and ran his hand down his chest, the descent stopping at the belt buckle. “Come on, luv. You know you want it.”
And there it was, the tortured pain in her eyes transforming into outrage.
“I would never want you.”
The streetlight flickered. Then all hell broke loose, and Spike realized all too late that pushing her past the limit of her tolerance wasn’t the smartest idea he’d ever had. Especially in his current state.
His head snapped back from the force of her punch and he staggered on his feet. There was a feral look in her eyes that made the familiar rush of adrenaline course through him as she advanced on him and kicked him in the stomach. Spike doubled over and caught her foot in his hands when she aimed another kick at him, shoving her back.
Instead of falling, she molded the momentum to her advantage and cart-wheeled backwards. Her hair was tangled, her eyes wild as she gripped the stake so hard her hand shook. Spike returned her gaze and they started to circle each other, the tension between them growing with each passing step.
“Had enough, Slayer?”
Her eyes bristled at the title, the animalistic side of her he hadn’t seen before made an unexpected shiver of lust tickle his spine.
“You disgust me. Do you think I won’t kill you because you wear his face?”
'If only it was that easy. I am him, more than you’d like to admit,' he thought bitterly. Her presence brought it out in him more than anything else, but he couldn’t let her see it. It wasn’t as if she’d believe him anyway.
“Who’re you trying to convince? Me… or yourself?”
She broke the tension by lunging forward to backhand him across the face, but he was ready for her and deflected the blow, which sent her crashing into him with her shoulder. Spike lost his balance and they both tumbled to the pavement, the force of impact knocking the stake out of her hand.
He immediately banded his arms around her tightly to prevent her from moving and closed his eyes as the familiar feel of her body pressing against his had him reeling with memories. But she wasn’t relaxed; her muscles were coiled tightly as she struggled to break his hold, her arms locked between their torsos, her quick breath warming his jaw.
“Let me go.” She sputtered curses and wriggled her body to no avail.
“God, I forgot the way you smell,” he said, not aware of voicing his thoughts out loud. Her struggles ceased and he instinctively loosened his hold, his arms embracing her instead of restraining. She lay there for a few precious seconds before the reality of the situation struck her and she snapped out of it. She sat up, effectively breaking his hold and clutched his wrists in her strong hands, slamming them hard against the pavement.
Spike blinked twice and his nose twitched at the smell of his own blood, the back of his hands burning as the gravel dug into his chafed skin. Her bottom lip wobbled as she stared down at him, and he couldn’t muster up enough energy to defend himself as she freed one of his hands so she could slap him. She kept it up until his cheek turned numb, but it didn’t compare to the force of her punches from before. She was holding back, her eyes full of accusations and betrayal.
This was Buffy hitting him, not the Slayer.
He so wished to be able to hold her as she cried, the warm tears dropping down to splash against his cheeks. There was a stake in her hand and Spike had no idea where she’d whipped it out from, but then it didn’t matter because the sharp tip was poised above his heart with unerring accuracy.
They held each other’s gaze, her hands shaking even as she clenched her teeth, obviously trying to force her hand to end this. Spike didn’t fight back.
The tip pressed harder, breaking the skin beneath and Spike could almost taste the ashes of his demise in the back of his throat. He drank in her face, inhaled her scent because he wanted it to be the last thing he’d remember.
Then the weight of her was gone and it took him a moment to realize he was still alive—or as alive as a vampire could be. He pushed himself into a sitting position, staring after Buffy’s retreating form as she ran down the street and away from him.
TBC
Chapter twenty-three
Author's note: Yay! :D I just got a notification that I have been nominated over at SunnyD awards for the best AU. Whoever liked this story enough to nominate me just made my day. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate it!
Beta'd by dawofme and Mabel Marsters- two very talented ladies.
Awesome banner by xaphania
Chapter 23
Rain began to pour down and by the time Buffy crossed the threshold of Giles’ apartment, her hair hung in a sodden mess and her clothes clung uncomfortably to her skin. She closed the door and let her feet to carry her to her room.
“Hey, B. Feel like watching a flick?”
Buffy stopped in her stride and turned to face Faith who was sitting on the couch. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Faith stood up and hurried over, looking at her with concern. “Is everything alright?”
“I…” Buffy blinked and shivered.
“You better ditch the wet clothes before you catch your death.”
Buffy’s chin wobbled and before she knew it, her knees buckled and she was sobbing so hard it was difficult to catch her breath.
“Shit, what the hell happened?” Faith knelt down and brushed the hair off Buffy’s face.
Buffy launched herself into her arms and Faith held her, stroking her back.
“W-William is… h-he’s…” Buffy gasped for breath and tried to calm herself down.
Faith sighed. “I know you miss him, but you can’t go on like this, Buffy. It’ll drive you crazy.”
“N-No… i-it’s not…” she sniffed. “He’s Spike.”
Faith leaned away and stared at her. “Wait. Spike as in… the Aurelian vamp with the major issues? The one you’ve been hassling Giles about tracking down?”
Buffy nodded in misery.
“Well, that’s… What are you going to do?”
“What I have to,” Buffy whispered.
“You know… Whatever you decide to do in the end, I’m hundred percent behind you.”
“What do you mean what I decide to do? It’s already been decided. I don’t have a choice.”
“Hey, I’m all for a good slay, you know that. But… think about what it’ll do to you.”
Buffy shifted and tugged at her t-shirt in a futile effort to separate it from her skin. “I’m sorry I got you all wet.”
Faith glanced down at her damp top and winked. “Never apologize for getting me wet, girlfriend.”
Buffy crinkled her nose. “Ew.”
Faith grinned.
*******
Two weeks later, Buffy brushed the dust off her clothes as another vampire met his demise under her hands. For the second time this week, she could feel Spike’s eyes on her. Did he think she wouldn’t be aware of his presence? Of his eyes hungrily following her every move?
If he thought that it would unnerve her and give him some kind of advantage, he was sorely mistaken. Whatever he was planning, she was ready for him. And she was getting tired of playing hide and seek.
“I know you’re there,” she said and faced the direction from which she could feel his vibes tugging at her senses.
Silence was his only response for a few seconds before the shadows seemed to melt away to reveal him. Moonlight caressed his smooth pale skin, accentuating the sharpness of his cheekbones. The whiteness of his hair.
“Looks like you caught me. What are you going to do about it?” He bit his bottom lip. “Gonna punish me, Buffy?”
He was beautiful, otherworldly so, and it was hard not to succumb to the lie. To the seductive draw of his eyes, the soft pout of his lips that she knew so intimately.
“I don’t want to play any games.” She gripped the stake in her hand and lifted her chin. “And stop saying my name like that.”
He stepped closer, graceful and deadly. Her skin prickled and she resisted the urge to take a step back. She hated the hold he had over her. That she couldn’t help but look at him and see William.
“Like what?” He tilted his head, his eyes bright with intensity that made her skin itch. “Like I love you?”
She squeezed her eyes shut for a second and hissed from behind her clenched teeth, “You don’t. You can’t love me.”
His nostrils flared and she watched his face harden. “And yet, all I can think of when I look at you is how much I wish I could stop. No such luck, luv. Guess you’ll have to kill me first.”
Her stomach tightened painfully at the thought. What if she could never do it? She’d had him pinned and ready to be dusted the last time, and what had she done? She’d run away. And the blood of the people he’d killed since then now stained her own hands. All because she was too weak to end this.
“You think I won’t?”
He shrugged. “You couldn’t do it before.”
“It’s not like you put much of a fight either. Do you want me to kill you?”
He smiled sadly, and the vulnerability was so reminiscent of the way William used to smile that it made her heart skip a beat. “Didn’t want to hurt you.”
She laughed though there was no humour in it. “You didn’t want to hurt me? You’re a vampire! All you do is cause hurt. Stop pretending to be William.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m not pretending anything. Yeah, I’m hardly the man I used to be, but I am William. Been through a lot, thinking you were dead. Wished so many bloody times that I could have died that day. ”
Her fingers started to shake and she tightened her hold on the stake. “It would have been better if you did.”
Spike glanced away from her, but not before she glimpsed the pain betraying how much her words cut him. “Nothing’s stopping you from ending it now.”
It would be so simple to cover the distance, to plunge the stake into his chest. He was an abomination. So why did her feet refuse to move?
“Show me what you’ve got then, Slayer.” He spread his arms and smirked, but the mirth wasn’t mirrored in his eyes. Those eyes that were exactly like William’s. The blue of his irises always reflecting the tumultuous feelings inside.
She moved forward to attack him, but her heart wasn’t in it. Her every hit was deflected and she realized their strengths were evenly matched. She punched, he ducked, she kicked, and he danced out of the way or shoved her away. Why wasn’t he fighting?
“Fight back, damn it!”
“Can’t,” he said and as she came forward to attack him again, he shoved her away and she tripped over her own feet. Buffy tumbled ungracefully right on her ass, getting the wind knocked out of her in the process. Before he could move to restrain her, she kicked his legs from under him and straddled him, immediately pressing the stake on his chest.
He gazed up at her expectantly. She growled at her own inability to kill him and instead rammed the stake into his shoulder with as much force as she could muster.
“Bloody hell, that hurts!” He growled. “Just kill me and have it over with!”
She seized the stake and pulled it out, throwing it angrily away. “Can’t.” She echoed his earlier words.
He clutched at his shoulder, the blood flowing thickly from the gaping wound, and she cringed at the sight. Then she remembered she was still sitting on top of him and scrambled to get away. She couldn’t believe he had the nerve to pout.
“Don’t leave on my account. I was just getting all comfy here,” he said with a smirk though his voice was tight with pain.
“Stop doing that… stop acting like we’re friends. Like we’re anything. You’re just a demon.”
“Yeah? That the Council talk you’re spewing or do you really believe it?”
“Tell me, how many people have you killed?”
Spike averted his eyes.
“That’s what I thought,” Buffy said, her voice shaking. “I might not be able to kill you right now, but give me time and I will. I can’t let you roam around killing people. If you cared about me at all like you claim to, you’d leave and never come back.”
“I did.”
Buffy stared at him blankly, and he gingerly lifted himself into a sitting position. “I…did leave. Was looking for a Slayer and came to Bath… feels like forever has passed since then.” He laughed bitterly. “Turns out it’s you. Bloody hilarious if you ask me. Knew I had to go, swore to myself to never come back, to spare you… knew you’d react this way if you sussed out what I was, didn’t I? But I… guess I couldn’t stay away. Had to see you, feel you…”
He lifted his hand and traced her fingers. She jerked her hand away as if burnt.
“No. Don’t touch me!” Feeling his skin brushing against hers with the shy gentleness made her long for his embrace. She couldn’t let him close. She wouldn’t.
He sighed when she rose to her feet. “Buffy, let me-”
“No no no no. There will be no letting you do anything. Stop acting… human. You’re only doing it to confuse me, t-to hurt me. I can’t do this.”
She turned to leave, ready to flee when his fingers closed around her upper arm.
“Please, don’t go. We need t-”
“I said… don’t touch me!”
She jerked her arm away from his gentle grasp, breathing heavily. There was nothing more she longed for than to bury her face in the crook of his neck and cry for what they had lost. She felt so old, so helpless and so insecure about they way he made her feel. It was like being presented with everything she’d ever wanted. To have William back. Yet, she could never have him and seeing his face was like having the salt rubbed into her wounds.
She cast him a glance over her shoulder as she walked away, pretending not to see the defeated slump of his posture, pretended not to be affected by the rejection written all over his face.
Her heart clenched when his quiet voice drifted to her ears.
“What can I do to make you love me again?”
She never turned around.
TBC
Beta'd by dawofme and Mabel Marsters- two very talented ladies.
Awesome banner by xaphania
Chapter 23
Rain began to pour down and by the time Buffy crossed the threshold of Giles’ apartment, her hair hung in a sodden mess and her clothes clung uncomfortably to her skin. She closed the door and let her feet to carry her to her room.
“Hey, B. Feel like watching a flick?”
Buffy stopped in her stride and turned to face Faith who was sitting on the couch. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Faith stood up and hurried over, looking at her with concern. “Is everything alright?”
“I…” Buffy blinked and shivered.
“You better ditch the wet clothes before you catch your death.”
Buffy’s chin wobbled and before she knew it, her knees buckled and she was sobbing so hard it was difficult to catch her breath.
“Shit, what the hell happened?” Faith knelt down and brushed the hair off Buffy’s face.
Buffy launched herself into her arms and Faith held her, stroking her back.
“W-William is… h-he’s…” Buffy gasped for breath and tried to calm herself down.
Faith sighed. “I know you miss him, but you can’t go on like this, Buffy. It’ll drive you crazy.”
“N-No… i-it’s not…” she sniffed. “He’s Spike.”
Faith leaned away and stared at her. “Wait. Spike as in… the Aurelian vamp with the major issues? The one you’ve been hassling Giles about tracking down?”
Buffy nodded in misery.
“Well, that’s… What are you going to do?”
“What I have to,” Buffy whispered.
“You know… Whatever you decide to do in the end, I’m hundred percent behind you.”
“What do you mean what I decide to do? It’s already been decided. I don’t have a choice.”
“Hey, I’m all for a good slay, you know that. But… think about what it’ll do to you.”
Buffy shifted and tugged at her t-shirt in a futile effort to separate it from her skin. “I’m sorry I got you all wet.”
Faith glanced down at her damp top and winked. “Never apologize for getting me wet, girlfriend.”
Buffy crinkled her nose. “Ew.”
Faith grinned.
*******
Two weeks later, Buffy brushed the dust off her clothes as another vampire met his demise under her hands. For the second time this week, she could feel Spike’s eyes on her. Did he think she wouldn’t be aware of his presence? Of his eyes hungrily following her every move?
If he thought that it would unnerve her and give him some kind of advantage, he was sorely mistaken. Whatever he was planning, she was ready for him. And she was getting tired of playing hide and seek.
“I know you’re there,” she said and faced the direction from which she could feel his vibes tugging at her senses.
Silence was his only response for a few seconds before the shadows seemed to melt away to reveal him. Moonlight caressed his smooth pale skin, accentuating the sharpness of his cheekbones. The whiteness of his hair.
“Looks like you caught me. What are you going to do about it?” He bit his bottom lip. “Gonna punish me, Buffy?”
He was beautiful, otherworldly so, and it was hard not to succumb to the lie. To the seductive draw of his eyes, the soft pout of his lips that she knew so intimately.
“I don’t want to play any games.” She gripped the stake in her hand and lifted her chin. “And stop saying my name like that.”
He stepped closer, graceful and deadly. Her skin prickled and she resisted the urge to take a step back. She hated the hold he had over her. That she couldn’t help but look at him and see William.
“Like what?” He tilted his head, his eyes bright with intensity that made her skin itch. “Like I love you?”
She squeezed her eyes shut for a second and hissed from behind her clenched teeth, “You don’t. You can’t love me.”
His nostrils flared and she watched his face harden. “And yet, all I can think of when I look at you is how much I wish I could stop. No such luck, luv. Guess you’ll have to kill me first.”
Her stomach tightened painfully at the thought. What if she could never do it? She’d had him pinned and ready to be dusted the last time, and what had she done? She’d run away. And the blood of the people he’d killed since then now stained her own hands. All because she was too weak to end this.
“You think I won’t?”
He shrugged. “You couldn’t do it before.”
“It’s not like you put much of a fight either. Do you want me to kill you?”
He smiled sadly, and the vulnerability was so reminiscent of the way William used to smile that it made her heart skip a beat. “Didn’t want to hurt you.”
She laughed though there was no humour in it. “You didn’t want to hurt me? You’re a vampire! All you do is cause hurt. Stop pretending to be William.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m not pretending anything. Yeah, I’m hardly the man I used to be, but I am William. Been through a lot, thinking you were dead. Wished so many bloody times that I could have died that day. ”
Her fingers started to shake and she tightened her hold on the stake. “It would have been better if you did.”
Spike glanced away from her, but not before she glimpsed the pain betraying how much her words cut him. “Nothing’s stopping you from ending it now.”
It would be so simple to cover the distance, to plunge the stake into his chest. He was an abomination. So why did her feet refuse to move?
“Show me what you’ve got then, Slayer.” He spread his arms and smirked, but the mirth wasn’t mirrored in his eyes. Those eyes that were exactly like William’s. The blue of his irises always reflecting the tumultuous feelings inside.
She moved forward to attack him, but her heart wasn’t in it. Her every hit was deflected and she realized their strengths were evenly matched. She punched, he ducked, she kicked, and he danced out of the way or shoved her away. Why wasn’t he fighting?
“Fight back, damn it!”
“Can’t,” he said and as she came forward to attack him again, he shoved her away and she tripped over her own feet. Buffy tumbled ungracefully right on her ass, getting the wind knocked out of her in the process. Before he could move to restrain her, she kicked his legs from under him and straddled him, immediately pressing the stake on his chest.
He gazed up at her expectantly. She growled at her own inability to kill him and instead rammed the stake into his shoulder with as much force as she could muster.
“Bloody hell, that hurts!” He growled. “Just kill me and have it over with!”
She seized the stake and pulled it out, throwing it angrily away. “Can’t.” She echoed his earlier words.
He clutched at his shoulder, the blood flowing thickly from the gaping wound, and she cringed at the sight. Then she remembered she was still sitting on top of him and scrambled to get away. She couldn’t believe he had the nerve to pout.
“Don’t leave on my account. I was just getting all comfy here,” he said with a smirk though his voice was tight with pain.
“Stop doing that… stop acting like we’re friends. Like we’re anything. You’re just a demon.”
“Yeah? That the Council talk you’re spewing or do you really believe it?”
“Tell me, how many people have you killed?”
Spike averted his eyes.
“That’s what I thought,” Buffy said, her voice shaking. “I might not be able to kill you right now, but give me time and I will. I can’t let you roam around killing people. If you cared about me at all like you claim to, you’d leave and never come back.”
“I did.”
Buffy stared at him blankly, and he gingerly lifted himself into a sitting position. “I…did leave. Was looking for a Slayer and came to Bath… feels like forever has passed since then.” He laughed bitterly. “Turns out it’s you. Bloody hilarious if you ask me. Knew I had to go, swore to myself to never come back, to spare you… knew you’d react this way if you sussed out what I was, didn’t I? But I… guess I couldn’t stay away. Had to see you, feel you…”
He lifted his hand and traced her fingers. She jerked her hand away as if burnt.
“No. Don’t touch me!” Feeling his skin brushing against hers with the shy gentleness made her long for his embrace. She couldn’t let him close. She wouldn’t.
He sighed when she rose to her feet. “Buffy, let me-”
“No no no no. There will be no letting you do anything. Stop acting… human. You’re only doing it to confuse me, t-to hurt me. I can’t do this.”
She turned to leave, ready to flee when his fingers closed around her upper arm.
“Please, don’t go. We need t-”
“I said… don’t touch me!”
She jerked her arm away from his gentle grasp, breathing heavily. There was nothing more she longed for than to bury her face in the crook of his neck and cry for what they had lost. She felt so old, so helpless and so insecure about they way he made her feel. It was like being presented with everything she’d ever wanted. To have William back. Yet, she could never have him and seeing his face was like having the salt rubbed into her wounds.
She cast him a glance over her shoulder as she walked away, pretending not to see the defeated slump of his posture, pretended not to be affected by the rejection written all over his face.
Her heart clenched when his quiet voice drifted to her ears.
“What can I do to make you love me again?”
She never turned around.
TBC
Chapter twenty-four
Thank you xaphania, for making this awesome banner for me.
Chapter 24
The wooden floor creaked beneath his boots as he paced the length of the small basement apartment. The sun had just fallen below the horizon, and his whole being itched with the need to go out.
His stomach growled.
Spike clenched his jaw and snatched his duster, the leather creaking as he slipped into it. He locked the door behind him, the keys jingling as he dropped them into the inner pocket of his coat. Hunger twisted his insides now, and he quickened his stride as he walked down the street.
Ever since he’d found out Buffy was alive, he refused to drive them even further apart by acting upon his demonic urges. He hadn’t killed anyone. But he still had to feed, and there was no way around it. Darla and Dru didn’t deem it necessary to teach him how to drain someone without… well, draining them, but he managed just fine on his own.
He’d knock his victim unconscious and drink from their wrist instead of the main artery since the blood flowed far too quickly for them to make it out alive. Spike so badly wanted to prove that he could be William, but he had no idea how to act human anymore. And he had a feeling Buffy wouldn’t be forthcoming with helping him out.
Someone threw trash cans against a wall in a nearby alley, the sharp tinny sound followed by a malicious hyena-like laugh. His curiosity piqued, Spike pursued the sounds and the closer he got, the more unsettled he became. Someone was weeping.
A child.
He froze in his tracks, the face of the little girl Drusilla killed flashing before his eyes. What did he care? His stomach tightened and he rushed towards the alley entrance.
Two men stood there, their laughter mocking the fear-stricken girl cowering against the brick building wall. She could have been seven years old, and her dark hair was sticking to her tear stained cheeks. Spike growled as the men’s arousal permeated the air, their heartbeats thudding in the silence.
'Sick fuckers.'
He approached them with his thumbs hooked in the belt loops of his jeans, purposely making his steps heavy to alert them of his presence. They both turned to face him, their grins never faltering. Spike coldly smirked. They’d regret not recognizing him as a threat.
“Picking on someone your own size, lads?”
The taller one nudged the other with his elbow and they stepped closer with a hunger for violence gleaming in their eyes.
“What do you care, wanker? Are you looking for trouble? Because we can give you that,” the taller one said, dubbing himself as the leader of their pathetic little duo.
Spike noticed they were on either side of him, but he’d kept his pose relaxed. He could break them both in half before they had the time to blink.
“Cowards like you? Don’t think so. What were you planning on doing to the little tyke anyway?”
The shorter one grabbed his crotch crudely and leered in the direction of the girl. “Show her a good time if you know what I mean.”
Spike shook his head and muttered, “And she thinks only demons are monsters.” Louder he said, “Yeah, you go do that.” He shifted into game face. “Over my undead body.”
They looked at each other, all the bravado gone.
Spike gazed at the little girl with his yellow eyes and ordered her to close hers.
She did as he bid her and before the two men could run away, Spike grabbed the first one by the back of his t-shirt and slammed him head first into the wall. He fell, dazed, blood running down his forehead. The shorter one swung back his arm to punch Spike in the face, but the vampire could see the move coming from miles. He snatched the man’s wrist before the blow connected with his face and twisted it as far as it would go. The man screamed and crashed to his knees, whimpering as he cradled his broken arm.
Spike grinned and bent to lift him up, tearing his fangs into the man’s throat viciously. His blood rushed down Spike’s throat, chasing the hunger away as he sucked the last drop from the now limp body before tossing the carcass aside. The other man stared at the scene in horror, his back pressing into the wall behind in hopes of blending into it. Spike’s smile widened, the tips of his fangs grazing his bottom lip.
The fear radiating off the man filled the air around as Spike knelt down and leaned in.
“Not so brave now, are you, mate?”
“P-please…. D-don’t kill me.”
Spike laughed. “Sorry, seems you’re out of luck on this one.”
He smashed the man’s head repeatedly against the wall, his demon roaring in triumph at the sound of bone breaking and blood flowing. The rush of violence coursed through his veins, making his skin tight and causing him to shiver in anticipation of fresh blood. It was exhilarating. When the man’s face stopped resembling a human being, Spike sank his teeth into the criminal’s neck and drank, reveling at the groan of pain coming from the broken man.
The corpse began to cool down, transferring its warmth into Spike and he pulled out his fangs, wiping his mouth before his face melted into its human features.
The girl had her eyes squeezed shut, her small hands covering her ears. Spike approached her and knelt down to touch her shoulder, purposely positioning himself so he shielded her from the gruesome scene behind.
She snapped her eyes open and stared up at him, her chin quivering. Spike sighed and wiped the tears from her face.
“You alright?”
The breath hitched in her throat and suddenly, Spike had his arms full of the sobbing mess of a child. He patted her back awkwardly and she tightened her arms around him.
“Y-you saved me,” she mumbled into his chest.
“Guess I did.” He leaned away to look at her. “What’s you name, poppet?”
She averted her chocolate eyes, her cheeks reddening as she sniffed. “Lily.”
Spike smiled. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Nice to meet you, Lily. I’m Spike.” He offered her his hand and she took it, shaking it firmly.
“Strong grip you’ve got there, luv.”
She bit her lip.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
She told him the address. Spike stood up and was about to take her hand when she stretched out her arms with a hopeful look on her face. He shrugged and lifted her up and into his arms, smiling at the feel of her soft warm cheek pressing against his neck.
“Care to tell me what you’re doing out at night without your parents?”
“I ran away.”
Spike only then noticed the Hello Kitty duffle bag on the ground beside her and bent to retrieve it before walking out of the alley. “Your folks not minding you?”
“They always fight and Daddy said he was going to leave.” Her eyes teared up when he glanced down at her. “It’s my fault. If I’m not there, maybe they’ll stop fighting.”
Spike shook his head. “Not your fault. Grown ups argue… they’re stupid like that. They’re probably sick with worry over you by now, Lily.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with a guilty voice.
“Just promise me you won’t ever do that again. ‘S not safe out here for a little girl like you.”
“I promise.” She rested her chin on his shoulder. “What are you?”
Spike almost stopped in his tracks. “What do you mean?”
“Your eyes got all yellow before you told me to close mine. And your nose was all scrunchy. Just like my cat, Cupcake’s.”
Spike arched his brow. “You named your cat after food?”
“So what are you?”
'Bloody kids and their questions.'
“Eh… I’m a vampire.”
Silence.
“Okay,” Lily said.
“Okay? That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes.” Her small fingers reached out to trace his face. “Show me?”
“I don’t think-”
“Please?” Her eyes were all big and pleading and Spike couldn’t say no. He shifted into his game face and growled playfully as she traced his fangs. She just stared at him fascinated, tickling his face with her questing fingertips.
“You’re very pretty,” she said, and Spike could feel the heat rise in her cheeks.
He smirked and let the game face recede. “Am I now?”
“Yes.” She tugged at the hem of her t-shirt absentmindedly. “You can marry me when I’m all grown up.”
Spike chuckled. “Maybe I’ll take you up on your offer. ‘S not like the girl I love wants me.”
“What’s her name?”
“Buffy.”
“It’s a silly name.”
“That it is, pet. And she hates me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a bad man. Not worthy of her.”
“You can’t be bad when you saved me.”
Spike patted her hair with a sigh. “If only it was so easy, moppet.”
She’d fallen asleep maybe fifteen minutes after, slightly drooling on his shoulder but he didn’t mind. He’d had far worse goo covering him when the mood struck him to challenge a Knecht’d demon.
'Ugly buggers.'
He was just rounding a corner when he came face to face with the Slayer.
*******
Patrol had been uneventful so far, which didn’t bode well for chasing the boredom and restlessness away.
“Come on, a little action would be nice,” she muttered and rounded a corner.
‘Be careful what you wish for’ flitted through her brain as she almost ran smack into Spike.
Her eyes widened when she registered the child in his arms, a smear of blood on his left cheek. Cold dread settled in her stomach. How could she ever have doubted what he was?
They stood there in shock, staring at each other. She snapped out if first.
“What did you do to her?”
His brows furrowed in confusion as he glanced at the tiny body in his arms. As if he wasn’t a cold blooded killer. “What? What do you mean what I did to her? She’s-”
The small girl stirred and Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t drained her yet.
Why hadn’t he?
The girl yawned and her heavy eyelids lifted slightly to reveal a pair of hazy, dark brown eyes. “Spike? Are we home yet?”
Buffy carefully moved closer, ready to interfere at the slightest hint of Spike’s evil intent. She absolutely refused to acknowledge the gentle way he held the girl in his arms, or the fact that she didn’t appear to be harmed. “Is that what you told her? That you were taking her home?”
The girl frowned and whispered into Spike’s ear, “She’s rude.”
Buffy blushed, but held her ground. She was only trying to help after all.
“She is, isn’t she, Lily? This is Buffy.”
The girl’s eyes widened and she turned her attention back to Buffy, making her squirm. “Do you love her because she’s pretty?”
Spike chuckled and Buffy resisted the urge to flee. What the hell was going on here? More importantly, why was she being talked about behind her back?
“I don’t understand… what… how-”
“Spike saved me,” Lily said, succeeding in throwing Buffy completely off her balance. “He is taking me home. He’s even carrying my back pack for me.”
Buffy’s gaze darted to the pink bag slung over Spike’s shoulder, her jaw open. Could it be true? That he really saved the little girl? Why? What could he possibly gain? Could it mean that some spark of humanity inside him remained? That there was still a bit of William left inside?
'No! God, what am I thinking? This is a ploy of some kind. It must be! But it wasn’t like he knew he’d bump into me.'
“Think you stunned her speechless, moppet,” Spike said with a smile before he stared at Buffy, willing her to see the sincerity in his eyes. “I wasn’t going to hurt her, Buffy. I swear. I know that you hate me and don’t believe there’s anything good inside me, but… I can be good. I can try. I know I can, if you just… if you just give a chance. Not asking for anything else.”
Buffy dropped her gaze and bit her lip, hating how much he sounded like William. Exactly like that time when he pleaded with Cecily to see him for what he was. Her gut clenched. Why was he doing this to her? Making her feel?
“I… let me take her home. I just… I can’t… not right now,” Buffy said and Spike nodded.
“Come on then, Lily. You’ll go with Buffy, yeah? She’ll take you to your folks.”
Lily pouted as he put her on her feet and knelt down, grasping her shoulders. “No running away, promise?” he whispered.
Lily nodded. He kissed her cheek and stood up. Slipping the bag from his shoulder, Spike hesitated before he stretched out his arm to give it to Buffy. She stared at his hand for a moment, wondering why she wasn’t fighting him. There was a child. It wouldn’t be very considerate to scar Lily for life. They could finish this some other time. Right?
She stepped closer and reached out to take the bag from him. Their fingers brushed. She shivered, the sparks of electricity shooting through her system at the fleeting contact. His gaze burned through her even as she turned her head to avoid it.
Lily waved goodbye to Spike and took Buffy’s hand. All the way to the girl’s home, Buffy regretted the decision as Lily proceeded to talk her ear off about how pretty and brave Spike was.
He was making it so difficult for her to hide behind the self-made barrier of her own convictions and she hated him for it.
TBC
Chapter twenty-five
Gorgeous banner by xaphania
Chapter 25
After bringing Lily home and dodging numerous attempts of her parents to invite her in for dinner, Buffy was finally trudging through the front door of the apartment. The slam of the door alerted Faith to her arrival, and she popped her head out from the kitchen alcove.
Buffy went to join her, taking in the mess surrounding her friend. “Please tell me you’re not trying to cook again.”
“Hey, no complaining. You wanna have another dinner made of baked beans that Giles does?”
Buffy wrinkled her nose at the idea. “Good point.”
“I thought so. Now, get your ass over here and help.”
“The two of us in the kitchen? I sense disaster of major proportions.”
Faith shrugged. “We can always make frozen pizza.”
“How exactly do you make frozen pizza? Don’t you just heat it in the oven?”
“Don’t be a smartass, B.” Faith finally gave up trying to make something other than semi-finished products and drew three boxes of frozen pizza from the refrigerator. “Pizza it is.”
Buffy smiled and leaned in to wipe flour from Faith’s cheek. “Oh, add extra cheese.”
“Extra cheese it is then. And chili… can’t forget that.”
“I won’t ever get your obsession with spicy food. It’s icky.”
Faith turned an indignant gaze on her. “It’s not icky, it’s fucking good!” She put the pizzas in the oven and closed it before standing up to level Buffy with a curious look. “Now, care to tell me what’s gotten you in a snit?”
“What snit? There’s no snit. I’m completely snitless!”
“I can see right through you.” Faith raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms across her chest as she leaned against the counter. “Okay, spill. Before I tickle it out of you.”
Buffy sighed and sat on a kitchen stool. “Why is everything being so complicated?”
“It’s got something to do with the Aurelian boy, doesn’t it?”
“Stop being insightful. It’s creepy.” Buffy rubbed at her tired eyes. “And yes, it does. It’s just… have you ever wondered if… do you think it’s possible that a vampire can… that there’s a chance there’s a part of William still in him?”
“Look, B. I can’t tell you that. It’s not like I go around chatting up the local vamps. Stake first, ask questions later, right? And I barely even knew William. You and I weren’t exactly close back then. The only thing I knew about him was that he was a nerd. Oh, and that he must have been a stallion in bed.”
“What? How could you possibly know that? And he was not a nerd! He was smart.”
Faith chuckled. “Well, I got the memo what with you moaning his name when sleeping. You were all… Aaaah, William. Oh God, right there!”
Buffy chucked a kitchen towel at her and blushed. “We didn’t even have… you know… sex.”
“You didn’t?” Faith arched her brow in disbelief.
“Well, we didn’t get that far.”
“So you wanna get all the way with the bad boy now?”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “What? Of course not. He’s… Spike. It would be all kinds of wrong.”
“So what was it that made you ask me about the possible William-like qualities in his revamped version?”
“It’s just that… tonight. I literally crashed into him, and he got this deer in headlights look on his face. He was holding a little girl in his arms and I thought… I was so sure that he killed her, but she was just sleeping. Apparently, he’d saved her! I just got back from bringing her home by the way. I’m pretty sure she’s got a huge crush on him now. It’s just so… weird. And wrong. And kind of disturbing.”
And then it occurred to her that there was blood on his cheek, and if it weren’t from Lily… whose blood was it? Who did he save her from? Who did he kill instead?
“You alright, B?”
“Huh? Oh, yes. Just… thinking.”
“So as I was saying, maybe you should ask Giles.”
“Giles? You know what he’ll tell me. He’s just… he’s trying to help, but he can’t understand what it’s like for me. I just so badly want to believe that--”
“That he’s still your William?”
“Yes.” Buffy sighed. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
“Nah. I get it. Maybe you should talk to William… but be careful. Tell him that if he hurts one little blonde hair on your head, he’ll have me to deal with.”
Buffy smiled. “You do realize I’m the Slayer?”
Faith shrugged. “Sisters gotta look out for each other.”
*******
It was a school day, not that it had ever stopped her before, but Giles would be pissed if he found out she wasn’t there. Again. It was her and Faith’s senior year, and Buffy couldn’t wait for it to end. Giles had even proposed the possibility of being home schooled by him. Now that would be fun.
Not.
As much a she loved Giles, being tutored by him would have probably driven her insane. And she didn’t want her life to be any freakier than usual, so state school it was.
The sun beamed down on her and Buffy scowled as she looked at the map in her hand. She had a good reason for skipping school this time. Anyway, Faith would cover for her.
Buffy stopped in front of a tall brick building in the not so nice area of the town and entered it, the doorknob in severe need of replacement after she did. So she may not be proud of breaking her way in, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. She just hoped that the information she’d acquired was true. Otherwise, she’d get really mad and track down the sorry excuse of a demon that had given her the address and make good on her threats.
The hallway was dark, the floor creaking under her feet. Buffy cringed, hoping she wouldn’t get caught trespassing. Her Slayer senses went a bit haywire, so Spike obviously wasn’t the only demon living there. She shut down the distractions and tried to tune in on his signature as she walked down the corridor. She could feel it tugging at her from below, and she rolled her eyes. A basement room.
'Well, duh. Where else would a sunlight-challenged vamp reside?'
She followed her instincts down a flight of stairs and ended up facing a shabby old door with scratches on it from God knew what. Buffy took in a deep breath before she knocked.
'Why the hell did I knock anyway? I should just kick the door down. Maybe I should just make with the silent escape. That wouldn’t be cowardly at all, would it? Why the hell am I even here? I must have gone completely insa-'
The door swung open and looking at her was Spike, his eyes hazy with sleep, the blond hair mussed and curling. And he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt. For that matter, the jeans seemed to have been thrown on in haste since the top button remained undone. And her heart definitely did not start to race at the sight of the black tight jeans riding so low on his hips, or the defined muscles of his chest and stomach.
“Buffy?”
Oh God, that voice. The husky deep drawl that was William after he woke up. God help her, coming here was not a good idea at all. Why did she come here again? It was something important, she just knew it.
“Umm… are you here to stake me?” He scratched his chest, which only served to draw her eyes towards it again. “How did you find me?”
“I-I came here to… to talk. May I come in?”
He stared at her, puzzled and wary before stepping out of her way so she could enter. As the door closed behind her, leaving them enclosed in a small room, Buffy’s mouth ran dry.
“You want to talk? You’re sure this isn’t some sort of ploy to off me?”
“Would I really need a ploy for that?”
“Guess not. So I gather this is about Lily then?” He noticed her unease and gestured towards a nearby chair. She perched on the edge, ready to spring into the action at the slightest hint of danger. With a sigh, he sat down on the bed opposite her.
“Yes. No. I don’t know. Why wouldn’t you kill her? It’s in your nature after all. And this whole situation is making me… I’m just so… confused and you’re making it hard for me to hate you.”
He snorted, glancing away from her. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“Whose blood was on your face last night?”
His eyes snapped towards hers. “What?”
“There was blood on your cheek, and I know it wasn’t Lily’s because… I checked her for injuries.”
“’Course you did,” he muttered, and she glared at him.
Her voice hardened and she gripped the arms of the chair. “Who did you kill?”
He stood up and started to pace. “The wankers were trying to rape her! They deserved it!”
“Were they human?”
“Is that the only thing you care about? If they were bloody human? Well then… yeah, they were and I ripped them apart. Guess what, luv? I didn’t feel a twinge of guilt for it either because it was the right thing to do!”
“How could it have been right? You killed them, and you want me to believe that you’re still William? You could have knocked them out and called the police!”
Spike laughed coldly. “Make no mistake, I’m a vampire. I don’t play by human rules anymore. I’m a monster but I’ve never raped a child. What does that tell you about the goodness of the human race? You think they didn’t deserve to pay for that?”
Buffy stood up and tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “I-I don’t know. I’m the Slayer, I can’t deal with judging the humans too. But you killing them in cold blood tells me all I need to know. You said it yourself… you feel no remorse. How could I have ever doubted-”
He moved so fast she didn’t even notice until he was standing inches apart from her. “I can be good, Buffy. I don’t even kill to feed. I know that you… that you wouldn’t like it.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“You’re right, you probably shouldn’t. But you know I could have lied about those two men… but I didn’t.” He clasped her shoulders. “When have I ever lied to you?”
She stepped back and away from his reach. “Why? Why did you do all those things? Giles, my Watcher, told me all about you, Spike. How you earned the name, how many people you… murdered.”
Spike’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t say I’m sorry… I may regret the things I’ve done, but what good it will do? They’re dead. I can only promise to change… just give me a chance to prove to you that I can be good.”
Buffy’s breath caught in her throat at the desperate look on his face, his eyes willing her to see he was sincere. “I… just tell me why. I n-need to know, to understand.”
Spike turned his back on her. “I thought you were dead.”
“And that makes it all right?”
“No, I know it doesn’t but… God the way I felt. I saw those demons take you away and next thing I’m waking up in a coffin. I thought it was some kind of punishment, that I’ll never see you again. It hurt so much… it was like a part of me was ripped away and all that could stop it was to… to cause pain, to make the others suffer as much as I did. And then I saw you.” He glanced at her over his shoulder, his cheeks wet with tears. “And I realized what I’d done. That you’d never love the monster I am now.”
She had to resist the urge to close the distance and touch his shoulder, to draw him into her embrace. She did understand why he did it, because in a way she’d been doing the same thing. Killing the demons, reveling in the pain she caused them. But it didn’t make it right. The people he’d killed were innocent.
He turned to face her, his eyes burning. “Do you hate me?”
She took a second to gather her thoughts. “I want to. But-”
He stalked towards her and she probably should have stopped him, but his cool palms were caressing her cheeks. For a second, she closed her eyes to drink in the sensation of him touching her so gently.
“But you can’t?” he whispered and pressed his wet cheek against her temple. She trembled, her whole being aching with the need to embrace him. She clenched her fists.
“No, don’t.”
“Please, Buffy. Please,” he muttered and kissed her on the cheek, his soft lips brushing against her skin until they reached the corner of her lips.
She took in a sharp breath when he pressed his lips against hers. She put her hands on his bare chest to push him away, but he encircled her waist and sucked her upper lip into his mouth, coaxing her lips open with the tip of his tongue. The sense of déjà vu swept over her as his taste hit her. He tasted exactly like William, but there was a darker undertone in this kiss. Restrained passion that consumed. Desperation. The need to possess.
She suddenly realized what she was doing and pushed him away so hard that he stumbled and fell on his ass. He stared up at her, his eyes still dark with that lazy hunger that was so reminiscent of the way William used to look at her after they kissed.
Buffy took one last terrified glance at his face before she ran out the door.
TBC
Chapter twenty-six
Don't you want to lick this banner? Xaphania made it. :)
Chapter 26
Spike sat on the floor and pressed his fingers to his still tingling lips. His mind still reeled with the knowledge that for a second she’d been kissing him back. His Buffy. So many things had changed but the way she made him feel with a single caress defied the more than two years of separation. How long had he hoped for being close to her again?
So long. An eternity.
He collapsed on his back and stared at the ceiling. He knew it didn’t mean they were back together, or that she’d forgiven him. The most likely option was that he’d caught her unaware, and she did bolt out of his flat as if her feet were on fire. But nothing could spoil the way his skin buzzed, or how her scent still lingered in the air around him.
Nothing except… Spike sat up and frowned. She’d looked so scared before running out on him. He suddenly realized how much power he held over her, how much he could hurt her.
He’d do anything necessary to prevent that.
*******
“So how did it go?” Faith’s voice drifted from where she was sitting on the floor, tapping the tip of her pencil on an open book.
Buffy dropped down next to her and snatched the pencil. “Are you doing homework?”
“The question is, are you avoiding my question?”
“No.” Buffy pouted. “Maybe.”
“I knew it. Oh my God… you didn’t screw the vamp, did you?”
“What? Of course not. What kind of a slayer do you think I am?”
“A way too innocent one, I’d say. The whole forced celibacy thing must be a bitch, even for you.”
Buffy threw the pencil at her. “Not all of us are sex maniacs.”
Faith smirked. “At least I’m getting me some. It’s fun, you know.”
“N-no it’s not. It’s all… serious and stuff. And very much with the scary. Besides, I’ll probably die a virgin anyway so it won’t be an issue.”
“Hey, now there’s no way I’ll let you talk like that. You know I got your back, B. You’ll die all wrinkly and rheumatic and reminiscing your slutty days, don’t worry.”
Buffy snorted. “Sounds lovely.”
“So… how did it go?”
“You’re not letting go of this, are you?”
“Not a chance in hell. Now spill before I start making up my own less G-rated assumptions.”
Buffy threw up her hands in the air and sighed. “Alright, alright. No need to threaten me.” She picked up the book and thumbed mindlessly through the pages a she mumbled, “He kissed me.”
“Oh. Well… did you kiss him back?”
“I… might have. B-but then I realized what I was doing and kinda… fled.”
“Chicken.”
“Hey! Am not. I just got scared… okay, so I’m a big chicken. You can’t tell Giles though. He’d look at me with that look… all disappointed and Giles-y. No need to make me feel even more guilty.”
“My lips are sealed.” Faith gazed at her from beneath her lashes and the corner of her lips lifted in a teasing smile. “So what was it like?”
Buffy buried her face in the couch cushions for a second, her cheeks burning. “It was… hot. And sad. And it felt as if he wanted to devour me… Very intense.”
“Yeah, him being a vamp… he probably did want to devour you.”
Buffy threw a pillow at her head. “Shut up.”
“So you two are what… together?”
“No! Not a chance in hell. It was just… a momentary lapse of judgment. He took me by surprise and then his lips… God, this is so, so messed up.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to do it again. At all?”
“Nope. He won’t get past my defenses again.”
“You’re not a fortress, Buffy,” Faith said with a chuckle, covering by pretending to cough when Buffy shot a glare in her direction.
*******
The next day, Buffy just finished patrolling and was about to open the front door when it swung open, revealing a very flustered Giles.
“Buffy, finally.”
“Umm… hello to you too?” She closed the door behind her. “So what’s up? Don’t see fire anywhere.”
“This is not the time to joke.” Giles threw a glance in the direction of the sofa. “Y-you need to go to the drugstore.”
“Oookay. Wanna tell me what’s this all about?”
Then Faith peeked from her position on the sofa. “Giles here is terrified of buying feminine products.”
“I resent that. I-it’s just not proper to… oh, bugger. I’ll give you ten quid if you go instead of me.”
Buffy snickered. “Twenty.”
“Deal.” Giles sighed and took the money out of his wallet to hand it to her.
Buffy turned to Faith. “Weren’t there some pads in the bathroom cupboard?”
“I hate those and no, there aren’t any. Already checked.”
Buffy nodded. “Yeah hate them too. Tampons are so much better.”
“Dear Lord,” Giles muttered and took off his glasses to thoroughly clean the lenses. “Please go, Buffy.”
She and Faith shared an amused glance and she was off.
*******
Buffy cursed as she wandered around the local supermarket. She could kill half a dozen vampires in a few minutes, but to find one measly item in a supermarket took her more than half an hour. These chain stores just had to be owned by someone evil. She ended up buying too many things that she hadn’t even planned on purchasing.
“Well… ice-cream is kind of a must,” she mumbled to justify it and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the feminine products aisle.
She searched for the brand they both used and took it from the shelf. Just as she turned with a box of tampons in her hand, the basket in the other, someone bumped into her and she dropped the box. She faced the person, ready to apologize, when her brain processed who was standing in front of her.
“Uh… hi,” Spike said and glanced down at the fallen item on the floor.
She could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. Even knowing that buying such things was a normal thing for a woman, she still wished the floor would open up and swallow her. She chose the exact same moment as him to bend down to retrieve it, and their skulls met with a painful clunk.
“Ow!” They both exclaimed.
Spike sent her an apologetic look before he picked up the box and they both stood up.
“Here. Sorry I made you drop it.”
She snatched the box out of his hands. Would the embarrassment never cease?
“Thanks… umm… they’re not… mine.” And why did she feel the need to elaborate? Not only did she act like a complete spaz, she still stood there engaging him in a conversation. Didn’t she promise herself to pretend he didn’t mean anything to her? She had to stop staring at his lips too.
“Yeah… eh… kinda figured.”
“Wait. What? How would you-”
“Err… Just a lucky guess.”
She kept staring at him, deciding if she should go with it or not.
“Oh. Okay. Good guess then.”
“Yeah, so… this is awkward.” He chuckled slightly, and she smiled before she realized she wasn’t supposed to do that. But he just looked so… vulnerable. And cuddly. Damn him.
“So why are you here?”
He hid his arms behind his back in a nonchalant way so she wouldn’t see, and now she really needed to know. What if it was something sinister? It was her duty to find out what he was hiding.
“Uh… I came here to buy… cigs! Yeah, nothing better than a good smoke.”
“You don’t smoke.”
“I do actually… not like I have to worry about lung cancer.” He winced and her whole body twitched with the need to embrace him.
She remembered his mother had died because of that exact illness and it obviously still bothered him. Why couldn’t he make it easy and be just like every other vampire? Why did he have to act so… human?
“So yeah… ‘S a habit I picked up after…”
Buffy avoided his intense gaze and instead turned her attention to the basket in her hand. She dropped the box of tampons on top of an ice-cream container and chanced a glance in his direction.
“I’m just going to... need to pay for the stuff, and Faith is waiting for me so-”
“Faith? Your roommate? She still with you?”
“Yes. We’ve become good friends since-”
“Right.”
Buffy worried her bottom lip with her teeth and was about to walk to the cash register when she noticed his uneasy expression, his hands still hidden behind his back. She got suspicious.
“After you,” she said.
He looked so terribly uncomfortable that it confused her even more. What was so embarrassing about buying a pack of cigarettes? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t already told her he way buying them.
As he passed her, he managed to slip his hands quickly to the front, obviously hiding something from her.
'Okay, what the hell is going on here?'
She followed him straight to the cash register and he threw a glance over his shoulder before he put it on the conveyor with a deep sigh.
A box of chocolates.
“Who’re the chocolates for?” And she did not just sound jealous.
He shuffled his feet and handed the money to the overly perky clerk that put the chocolates into a plastic bag for him.
“It was… for you,” he mumbled and shot her a quick glance.
She knew her mouth was very unattractively hanging open, but she couldn’t seem to close it. “Me?”
This was not good at all. Did he think they would just pick up where they left off? Didn’t he realize she couldn’t do that? That she couldn’t bear the weight of his actions as well as the weight of the whole world? And now he was gazing at her with those eyes full of hope, and she wished she was strong enough to end this.
“I-I can’t,” she said and gave the clerk the money before she took the bags and fled.
Again.
*******
Buffy wriggled out of her tight jeans and pulled off her black tank top before she tossed it over the chair. She walked over to her dresser and yanked open the drawer, rummaging through it in the search of a loose t-shirt she could sleep in.
When she finally found one, she put it on top of the dresser and reached behind her to undo the clasp of her bra. She let it slide down her arms before throwing it on top of the pile of clothes.
“Now panties,” she said and lifted two pairs in her hand. “Lace or silk? Hmm… silk it is.”
Shaking her head at talking to herself, Buffy slipped out of her panties and proceeded to slide the silky black ones up her legs. Indulging in fancy underwear and shoes was a bit of a guilty pleasure. And with the weekly allowance from the Council, there wasn’t a reason why she shouldn’t.
She had just put on the t-shirt when there was a tap on her window. She jumped, not as much from fear as it was from surprise. Nobody had ever knocked on her window before, even if her room was on the ground level. Surely no demon would be stupid enough to seek her out?
Grabbing a stake just to be sure, Buffy walked to the window and yanked open the curtain. She opened the window and stared incredulously at the person on the other side.
“What are you doing here? Do you realize it’s three o’clock in the morning? And how did you even find me?”
“Wasn’t all that difficult. You found where I live, didn’t you?”
“Eh… that still doesn’t explain why you’re here!”
Spike raked his eyes over her and she suddenly realized how little she was wearing. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m waiting.”
“Yeah, right… sorry, just got distracted.”
“Mind out of the gutter, please?”
“Right. Umm… we need to talk.”
“No we don’t. You need to leave before you push me past the limits of my patience.”
“But-”
“Spike!”
“Buffy.” He licked his bottom lip. “Invite me in?”
TBC
Author's note: Would you invite him in?? ;)
Chapter twenty-seven
This beautiful banner was made by xaphania.
Chapter 27
She stared at him as if he’d grown a tail. “What? I am so not going to invite you in!”
“Then come out so we can talk?”
“Spike, I’m tired.”
Now that she said it, she did look like she needed some rest and he felt bad for intruding in on her. “I’m sorry. I won’t be long.”
She sighed and put the stake on the window ledge before raking a hand through her hair. “Fine. Talk.”
Why did he suddenly start feeling nervous? Nobody but her had the power to reduce him to the shy schoolboy he’d been. He fumbled inside the pocket of his duster and drew out the box of chocolates. He dropped his eyes and said, “Just came to give you this. Sorry it’s a bit crumpled.”
When she didn’t say anything back, he glanced up to take in her expression. He expected to see her annoyed, maybe a little angry, but he’d never expected to see her eyes gleam with unshed tears, and it made his heart constrict. He hadn’t meant to make her sad.
“Sorry. Shouldn’t have come here. I’ll just… go.”
He turned to leave when she leaned out the window and clasped a hand around his forearm. “Don’t.”
Her eyes were wide and full of fear he’d never meant to instill in her. Her heat seeped through the leather and he shivered.
“Buffy…”
“Spike, I… why? Why are you doing this to me?”
He took her hand in his and interlaced their fingers, letting out a breath when she didn’t stop him. “I don’t mean to hurt you or… make this hard for you.”
“Then why?”
“You know why.” He brought their joined hands to his cheek and kissed the back of her hand. “I can be good. I can.”
'I love you,' he thought but didn’t dare to say it aloud from fear of breaking the moment.
“I want to believe you… I really do. If I put my trust in you, do you promise me that you won’t-”
“I’ll never hurt you, Buffy.” He stared deep into her eyes, willing her to see the truth.
Her hand trembled slightly in his and she said two words that meant the world to him.
“Come in.”
She just took a giant leap of faith, trusting him like this and he would do anything in his power to prove to her that she hadn’t made a mistake. He unwillingly let go of her hand and put down the box of chocolates in order to grip the windowsill so he could climb in. Once he was inside, her scent enveloped him and he breathed it in. Every little thing in her room screamed Buffy. The clothes strewn around, the stuffed animals, even the weapons heaped in a big wooden chest next to her bed. She gazed at him, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt and he stepped closer.
“Buffy…” he said, clearing his throat to get rid of the lump that seemed to have grown there. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Is there… is there a part of you that is my William?” Her eyes were pleading with him to tell her she didn’t make a horrible mistake by inviting him into her home. Into her sanctuary.
“I am William, luv. And I know this must be tough for you… the things I’ve done. I’m not proud of them, but I’ll do anything to make you believe that I… that I can be anything you need me to be.”
“I-I just want you to be you.”
He walked slowly towards her, stopping when he was a mere inch from her. Then he drew her into his embrace, feeling as if his heart would start beating again when she encircled his waist and caressed his neck with her warm breath.
How long had he wished to hold her like this?
“This is all my fault,” she whispered.
“What is?”
“What happened to you… I should have been smarter, should have figured it out sooner and saved you.”
He leaned away enough to be able to look at her. “Hey now, don’t do that. There’s nothing either of us could have done. We can’t change the past. I know you wish I were human… and… I may be a monster, but I still love you. I never stopped.”
She buried her face in his chest. “I don’t know if I can ever get past the things you’ve done. If this will ever work.”
“I know it will. I won’t ever stop proving that you can trust me.”
Pulling away and taking his face in her hands, she then rose on her tiptoes and kissed him. Ecstasy rushed through him as her lips dragged against his. As he pressed her closer to him, his hands slipped from her waist to her hips. Her t-shirt had ridden up as she raised her arms to encircle his neck and his fingertips met the silk of her knickers.
Buffy teased his lips open with the tip of her tongue before slipping it into his mouth to slowly caress the sensitive tissues inside. He tilted his head and touched her tongue with his, chasing it back into her mouth. The sound of her moans almost drove him crazy. He felt very conscious of the way her nipples rubbed against his chest through the thin material of their t-shirts, and he craved to take them between his lips.
He suckled her tongue then pulled slightly away to nibble at her bottom lip before pulling it into his mouth to sooth the ache. The tips of his fingers dipped beneath her edges of her panties as he traced her ass cheeks. The heat of her almost burned him but he was all too willing to go out in a blaze, especially if she kept making those breathy desperate sounds.
Tightening her arms around him, she bit his lip before she leaned away, panting. Even though he didn’t need to breathe, Spike realized he’d been doing the same. Trying to calm down the rampant emotions, they stood there for a while, clinging to each other, unwilling to let the moment go. When he noticed he was still cupping her bottom, he couldn’t help but squeeze it with an impish grin on his face she couldn’t see. Buffy shivered and pressed herself impossibly closer, but it wasn’t enough.
Then someone knocked on the door, and she jumped away from him as if burnt. She shot him a wild glance, her cheeks flushed with desire suddenly turning pale. She looked terrified as the knock on the door repeated itself.
“Hey, B. Are you sleeping yet?”
He nodded at her and slipped out the window before she could say anything, wondering all the way to his flat if she regretted letting him in.
*******
Faith’s voice cut through the fog with the efficiency of having a glass of cold water thrown into her face. Buffy barely caught a glimpse of black leather before Spike was out the window. Her mind fought to catch up with what had happened, and her eyes widened as she brushed her lips with the tips of her fingers.
She numbly walked to open the door and found Faith standing there with a worried look on her face.
“Are you okay? I didn’t wake you up, did I? You’re usually up late so I thought I’d stop by and see what you’re up to.”
Buffy cleared her throat and fought to form a coherent sentence, her skin still burning where his hands had been. “I-I’m fine. Just a little out of sorts.”
“I can see that.” Faith entered the room and plopped down on the bed. “So sit down and tell me all about it. We can gossip and stuff. Or at least I heard that’s what chicks our age do.”
Buffy snorted and sat down next to her. “I doubt they slay demons though. And is that why you came here so late? To ask me how I am?”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah, okay.” Spike’s taste still lingered on her lips and she licked them, closing her eyes for a moment. The way his muscles quivered under her hands, how he groaned when she sucked at his tongue. God, she was going crazy. That was the only explanation for it.
And Faith was staring at her.
“What?”
“You look a little… flushed. Were you looking at porn, you naughty girl? You could have asked me to join, you know.”
“What? No, I was not watching… that. Eww.”
Faith laughed and collapsed on the bed. “Sure you weren’t. That’s why you’re all blushing and your eyes are glazed.”
“My eyes are just fine.” She blushed guiltily. “Promise you won’t tell Giles? I think I just did something stupid.”
Faith sat up. “Oh, secrets. Out with it.”
“Spike was here… we… there might have been a make out session of major proportions.”
Faith arched a brow. “I thought you said there would be no more of that. I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your word.” She frowned. “Wait. Here... as in inside the house?”
“Hence the something stupid.”
“Well, I can’t argue with that. You know the rest of us living here aren’t slayers, and he’s got no love for me or Giles.”
“He won’t hurt you! He’s… different. He’s not like any other vampire I’ve ever met. And he brought me chocolates. He’s still so… there’s so much of William in him, and he promised to… God, do you think I’m completely stupid?”
“Guess we’ll have to wait and see. But… I trust your instincts. They haven’t been wrong before, so I’m willing to keep mum in front of Giles for now.”
Buffy hugged her. “Thanks.”
“But just so you know, I am sleeping here tonight.”
“Okay.”
They climbed under the covers and soon, both of them drifted into a deep sleep.
*******
Spike walked down the corridor leading to his flat when he felt it. The familiar tug at his stomach signaling… but it couldn’t be true. Not now. Not when Buffy finally offered him the world with a single kiss.
The doorknob had been broken and the hinges creaked in protest as he pushed the door open, his senses on a high alert. Shadows hugged him as he entered the darkness of his bedroom, his skin tingling in foreboding. Then he heard it. A suppressed giggle. The sound he recognized so well.
“Look who’s finally home.” She walked over to him, hips swaying. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
The second form had risen from the bed to join the woman who was currently smirking at him. Nobody switched on the light. There was no need to.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Our Spike is cross with us,” said his Sire as she molded herself to Darla’s side. “He didn’t want to invite us to the party. Bad dog.”
“We just might have to punish him for it. Running away, being rude… hiding secrets.”
“What secrets? Don’t be daft, Darla.”
“Still so naïve, William. Do you really think you can hide anything from us? From Dru’s special sight? And if you don’t want to tell us willingly…” She shifted into game face and grinned. “Then we’ll just have to make you.”
Before he could figure out what was happening, Drusilla materialized behind him and hit him hard across the back of his head. He cursed himself for not paying attention to the whereabouts of his Sire as he fell to his knees, and the world around plunged into darkness as she hit him again.
TBC
Chapter twenty-eight
Stunning banner by xaphania
Chapter 28
It had been two days since she last saw him. And she wasn’t worried at all. Nope. Not even after the doubt wheedled its way into her brain. Had he simply been playing her and was now tired of the games? Was she just making a big deal out of him not seeking her in two days? Or worse, did something happen?
“Buffy,” Giles said after he approached with newspapers clutched in his hand.
Maybe the distraction was just what she needed. “Yes?”
“Have you seen Spike?”
She almost jumped from the couch and managed to squeak out very eloquently, “What? Why? I mean… huh?”
Giles fixed her with a suspicious look and took off his glasses with a sigh. “Am I supposed to take that as a yes?”
She cringed. “I-I might have… but it was only a couple of times!”
“A couple… Buffy, you cannot possibly be serious!” He sat down in the armchair opposite her and tossed a copy of Daily Mail at the table between them. “Read.”
Her gaze flickered between him and the newspaper before she gathered her courage and picked it up. The head title read: BRUTAL HOMICIDES SWEEP THROUGH OUR COUNTRY. Buffy skimmed the intro, her heart hammering at the further information on the manner and circumstances of the recent murders. New victims surface in the area of Bath. Brutal maiming with a sharp object. Possibly a spike of some sort. The newspaper slipped from her fingers to land on her lap as she raised her gaze to meet Giles’.
“Do you think it was-”
“It’s his trademark, is it not? He’s just a vampire, a demon, Buffy. You’ll be doing this world a favour when you do your duty and end his existence. I warned you to not let him fool you.”
“B-but he was so… he promised-”
“He lied to you. Isn’t that what vampires do?”
She looked away, shame of her gullibility burning a path up her throat. So this was how he’d been keeping himself busy. Making her trust him just to go tear a rampage through her town without anyone to hinder him.
A tiny voice inside her whispered it wasn’t true and that there had to be an explanation, as she marched to her room and grabbed a stake from her weapon chest. It followed her all the way to the building he lived in, no matter how hard she tried to squash it.
*******
So here she was, in front of his door, the palm of her hand sweating as she tightened her hold on the stake. The back of her neck shivered with a vampire’s presence, and she knew it was him. Spike was inside, and she was finally going to end this.
Buffy braced herself and kicked the door down. It smashed against the ground so loudly it would wake the dead, which probably meant half the residents of the building. There was only one vampire whose dusty demise she was interested in though. She had expected him to come running, leering around his fangs as he mocked her naïveté, but there was nothing but silence.
She carefully stepped over the debris and entered the flat. The sun wouldn’t be going down for another hour, and the rays pilfered through the thick curtains to illuminate the room, the swirls of dust dancing in the thin line streaming above the curtain rod.
As soon as she turned her gaze to the left, her whole body froze. The clatter of her stake falling to the floor jerked her out of the shock, and she hastily stumbled towards the bed.
So much blood.
Bile rose to the back of her throat as she forcibly swallowed the nausea down and knelt on the mattress. She could feel the blood seep into her jeans, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was how icy cold his skin was as she clasped his bare shoulder. The memory of William bleeding to death bombarded her every thought, and she started to tremble as she shook him.
He didn’t stir, didn’t breathe, gave no sign of life at all.
Coldness gripped her insides, as if transferring from his skin. She screamed his name.
It took her more than a minute to realize he was a vampire and as long as he wasn’t dust, he’d be all right.
She leaned back and stared at Spike’s unconscious form. His arms and legs were tied to the iron headboards in a mockery of a human sacrifice, the skin beneath the thick ropes seeping blood. There were deep lash marks and scratches all over his naked body and the sheet beneath him was soaked through with brown where the blood had already dried and crimson that had recently trickled from his open wounds.
She hastened to undo the bindings and let his limbs fall to the mattress then reached out to touch his skin, terrified of how frail he looked. How sickly pale and dead. He had to have been tied here for a long time. It couldn’t have been him, the article she’d read. It had to be someone else. Probably the same someone who did this to him.
Buffy leant her cheek against his chest and let the tears fall, watching as they mingled with the blood on his skin.
*******
Something had changed. Her subconscious nudged her into a dreamless state as she struggled to wake up. Then all came rushing back and she snapped her eyes open. She’d fallen asleep! In a dangerous vampire’s arms. The sun had already set and…
Spike was awake.
Despite the injuries, he smiled at her crookedly then winced as it caused his split lip to reopen.
“Buffy?”
She sat up and pushed him to lie down when he tried to follow her.
“Spike, you’re… what happened?”
“Nothing to… fret… about. I’ll be… fine.”
“Are you kidding? You look like a vampire shish kebab!”
Spike frowned. “Get… out.”
He might as well have stabbed her in her heart. “What?”
“Go!” he yelled, the strain making him gasp and cough. A ribbon of blood seeped from the corner of his mouth. “Not… safe… here.”
“Not safe? You think that whoever did this to you is going to come back and you want me to leave you here? Are you crazy? And maybe you forgot, but hello… Slayer here. I can take care of myself.”
He glared at her and hissed past his clenched teeth, “No… can’t. Not… them.”
“Them? Who? Who did this to you?” Her voice turned deadly, the need for revenge burning hot through her veins. “Tell me!”
He glanced away from her and shut his eyes from the pain, and Buffy felt ashamed for pushing him to talk when it so obviously hurt him. She stood up and strode into the bathroom to search the cabinets for anything resembling a first aid kit. Feeling slightly relieved when she spotted one, she put aside bottles of shower gel and shampoo in order to reach it. It was battered; the colour on the edges of the lid scraped off and its position in the back of the cabinet told her Spike didn’t use it at all. It had probably been there when he rented the place.
She brought it to his bed and sat down again. He peered at her from beneath heavy lashes, struggling to stay conscious. Rummaging through the box didn’t prove to be very helpful since it was full of antibiotics that had expired long time ago and wouldn’t be of any use to a vampire anyway. Then she found gauze sticking out from beneath a half empty tub of healing cream. She had just closed her fingers around the gauze when a sharp pain raced up her forefinger. Buffy cursed and dropped it on the bed before she looked at her finger for closer inspection.
Her forefinger was bleeding and she watched the blood well on her skin before she sucked the digit into her mouth. The edge of scissors stuck out from the place the gauze had been and Buffy scowled at it. She hoped it wasn’t rusty because getting a tetanus shot wasn’t her idea of a good time.
Then she noticed Spike had gone completely still, his whole body tensed as he stared at her finger. His eyes melted from yellow to blue to yellow again before he completely shifted into game face. Buffy stood up from the bed, putting distance between them when he growled, his hungry gaze still fixed on her wound.
“Spike?”
No response, if she didn’t count snarls as the usual means of communication. Her eyes widened when he rose from the bed and before she could blink, he was seizing her forearms with an unyielding grip. Buffy froze, expecting him to attack her throat. She had no doubt she could stop him easily, especially since he barely stood on his feet but she shivered nonetheless.
Then Spike sank to his knees and for a moment she thought the fatigue had overwhelmed him despite the demon’s craving to taste her blood. It turned out she was wrong. Spike took her hand in his and nuzzled her palm before he slowly drew her cut finger between his lips. He moaned as the taste of her blood hit his tongue. When he started to suckle her finger, his cool tongue caressing her skin, Buffy was a bit embarrassed to admit it made her blood rush faster through her veins, and it wasn’t from fear.
'Wow, am I kinky or what?'
She glanced down at him and had to squirm at the look of utter reverence and ardor flickering across his face. Spike held her gaze as he nicked the tip of her finger with his fang and continued drawing out the droplets of her blood. Her breathing quickened and her legs started to tremble when he trailed his hands up her thighs. Then he let her finger slip out of his mouth and buried his still vampiric face into her belly.
He looked crazed from the loss of blood and many injuries littering his body, but as he stared up at her with those yellow eyes, the last thing she felt was disgust. The part of her she felt in tune with the most when she was on a hunt sparked to life, and the sudden need to tackle him swept over her.
Buffy shook her head and bent slightly to help him stand up.
“Okay, that was enough excitement for the day… umm… night. To the bed with you.” She helped him settle down and averted her eyes from his nudity. Well, not before she caught a glimpse of his not so much limp state. Strangely, she didn’t feel as embarrassed as she probably should.
“Buffy.” He growled and the sound reverberated all the way to her core.
She leaned closer to brush the hair away from his forehead and watched in fascination as his demon façade melted to reveal his human face. He purred as she stroked his hair and curled into a fetal position.
He needed to eat to heal, but where could she get human blood? And if whoever did this to him came back, he couldn’t stay here. Buffy sighed.
She almost jumped out of her skin when her cell phone vibrated inside the pocket of her jeans and she drew it out. Faith’s ID lit across the screen.
Buffy accepted the call and lifted it to her ear. “Yes?”
Someone giggled on the other side and the sound chilled Buffy to the bone. She’d heard it before. “Faith?”
“She’s been a very naughty doll. I don’t like it when they speak out of turn.”
“Who are you and where’s Faith?”
“Oh, the Slayer is angry with me. Nasty, nasty Slayer that stole my Spike away.”
Pieces of the puzzle clicked into place, and Buffy realized where she’d heard the voice before. In her dream two years ago. It was Drusilla. And she had Faith.
“Where are you?” Buffy hissed.
“We’re playing. Making the Watcher watch, but she won’t scream. It makes my tummy upset.”
They had to be at Giles’ apartment then. In her home.
Buffy shut off the phone and tossed a quick glance in Spike’s direction. He seemed to be asleep, or unconscious. Now she was pretty sure who did this to him and who killed all those people in the last two days. It was bait. For her. The need to stay and watch over him was strong, but if she stayed here, Faith and Giles would die.
Knowing she made the right decision, Buffy ran, hoping against hope she wouldn’t be too late.
TBC
Chapter twenty-nine
A/N: Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Martsers. Enjoy! :)
Amazing banner by xaphania
Chapter 29
By the time Buffy reached the apartment, her lungs were burning from the exertion of running all the way across town. She slowed her step as she strode down the driveway and bent over to pick up a fallen branch, snapping it in two to use as a weapon. The stake she’d been holding was now somewhere on the floor of Spike’s flat so this would have to do.
Her heart thudded against her ribcage, the sound of it roaring in her ears as she noticed the door had been opened. She slipped through the crack, trying to make as little noise as possible as she entered the living room, the carpet muffling her footsteps. When she closed her eyes in concentration, the back of her neck signaled a vampire’s presence within the house.
All the lights in the apartment seemed to be on, but she couldn’t see anyone and her stomach tightened with dread. She quickened her step, honing in on the direction where she sensed the vampire lurking. Makeshift stake gripped firmly in hand, Buffy kicked down the door to Faith’s room.
“Here she is. The bad Slayer came to our party,” said the dark vampire that Buffy immediately recognized as Drusilla.
Faith was tied to the bed in a similar fashion as Spike had been, while Giles was tied to the chair next to it. Buffy spotted a set of bite marks on his neck but then breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed the steady rise and fall of his chest. They were both still alive. The door behind her suddenly slammed close, and she whirled to come face to face with Darla.
With a sinking feeling, she realized that seeing Faith and Giles had distracted her so much that she failed to notice the presence of another vampire.
“Well, hello, darling,” Darla said. “So glad you could make it.”
Buffy backed away so her back was to the wall instead of Drusilla and gulped, but met Darla’s eyes dead on. “I’m always up for a bit of fun. I can’t wait to see you choke on your dust… doesn’t get funnier than that.”
Darla laughed and circled the room, sweeping the surface of the dresser with a tip of her forefinger. “You talk big for someone who doesn’t stand a chance.”
“You know… I think I’ve heard that before.”
“Of course you have… from fledges. Drusilla and I are vampire royalty. So is Spike. You’re no match for the two of us.”
Drusilla stepped behind Giles, her arms slinking down to caress his chest as she licked the shell of his ear. Buffy was about to move forward when Darla said, “Take one step and Dru will snap his neck.”
At that, Drusilla purred and started to comb her fingers through Giles’ hair. “I like him. He smells like tea and books. It was so nice of him to invite us in. His heart stank of sympathy when he thought I was a helpless little child. Smoke and mirrors, smoke and… mirrors. They never see past the illusion.”
Darla smirked. “She may be crazy, but Dru is really good at thrall.”
So that was how they’d got inside. Buffy had never really believed a vampire could thrall someone, but it made sense because Giles would never have let a vampire into the house and nor would Faith. It was obvious it would be stupid to underestimate the two old vampires and her mind whirled with trying to figure out a way out of the mess they were all in.
Without casualties.
Instinct told her it was to keep them talking to buy some time. “Why did you do that to Spike? I thought you were supposed to be like a family or something.”
“I knew I smelled him all over you the minute you stepped into the room. The Slayer in love with a vampire… how… pathetic.” Darla grinned. “It’s not like we haven’t done that to him before. See, William… he gets difficult sometimes. But he does learn quickly.” Darla’s eyes gleamed with amusement as she trailed her hands provocatively down her body. “He knows how to please when we make him. Isn’t that right, Dru?”
Drusilla looked up from where she was nibbling on Giles’ earlobe and smiled. “Oh yes. My William is so passionate… loves to taste the mommy’s cream.”
Everything in Buffy screamed to kill and maim at those words, at them saying William’s name as if he belonged to them. William had always been hers.
“Anger doesn’t become you, Slayer,” Darla said with a leer. “But it is amusing to see. If you could only hear the way he screamed both our names, begging us to hurt him a bit more… mmm… I wonder if we should make your dark-haired friend here one of us.”
Fire burned Buffy’s skin and she saw red as Darla stepped closer. With a flurry of motion, Buffy leaped forward and backhanded Darla across her face. The mocking glint melted into yellow rage as she punched Buffy in the face. The strength of the hit almost made Buffy black out, but she fought through the pain and planted a roundhouse kick to the side of Darla’s head. The next few seconds passed in a mad blur, and Buffy found herself behind Darla’s back. She didn’t hesitate and locked one of her arms around her neck while she pressed the tip of the stake against Darla’s chest.
She was about to plunge it in when Drusilla screamed, “No!”
Buffy started out of her murderous haze and glanced towards Drusilla, noticing with panic that Drusilla had untied Faith and she was now pressed against Drusilla’s chest just like Darla was to hers. Buffy’s eyes widened at the blade resting against Faith’s neck and stilled her hand.
“Dust me and your friend dies too,” Darla said.
Drusilla slightly moved the blade to the side and drops of blood trickled down Faith’s throat. Faith was pale, but her lips were set in determination.
“Do it, Buffy!” she yelled, and Buffy didn’t hesitate. She plunged the stake into Darla’s chest, feeling her body slowly disintegrate as Faith stomped on Drusilla’s foot.
Faith seemed to get out of the dark vampire’s clutches, but as Buffy closed the distance, Drusilla suddenly seized Faith’s arm, twisted it and sneaked behind Faith.
With a long steady gaze, she lifted the knife and slit Faith’s throat.
Blood poured out of the wound and Faith fell to her knees, clutching at her throat in an effort to stave the blood flow. Drusilla rushed out of the room, but Buffy didn’t pay her any attention. Tears were threatening to blind her vision as she watched another person she loved bleed to death.
*******
Spike started awake and glanced around to find himself alone. Although he was partially healed, various bruises still marred his skin and he felt as if he’d been run over by a truck. Darla and Drusilla had really done a number on him the past two days.
There was only so much whipping and humiliation even a vampire could take
A strange ache spread through his chest and he frowned, rubbing it absentmindedly as he struggled to rise from the bed. Something had happened, something had changed, but he couldn’t pinpoint the source of it as he searched the floor for the pants. He needed to see Buffy, needed to know she was all right. His mind was kind of blurry as to what had happened, but he knew for a fact she’d been in his flat.
The sweet heady taste of her blood still raced through his system, however small the amount.
He dragged the tight jeans up his legs, wincing every time they chafed a wound. With how much he’d bled out, it was a wonder he didn’t pass out as he dressed. A shirt seemed to be a better choice as he didn’t have to raise his arms to put it on and he gratefully slid into it. He slipped into the duster next, reveling at the feel of the worn leather sheltering him as he made his way towards Buffy’s home.
*******
As soon as he crawled through the window into her empty room, the stench of blood hit him full force. The demon inside him demanded to be let out and his mouth watered despite his stomach churning with worry. He knew it wasn’t Buffy’s, but there was a lot of it and he followed his senses into a room next to hers.
He heard her frantic heartbeat before he opened the door and as he walked inside; she whipped around to stare at him. Before he could ask what was going on, he had his arms full of a crying girl. Unnerved, he closed his arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head. He never knew what to do when she cried.
“Are you alright?”
She hiccupped and sniffed before she shook her head.
“What happened?” His legs were beginning to shake, and he gritted his teeth to suppress the weakness.
“It’s my f-fault. Always m-my… wherever I a-am, death follows m-me. And t-they-”
Spike grasped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Tell me what happened.”
She breathed in and out to calm her voice and then he noticed her blood tinted hands and the bucket of pink stained water on the wooden floor, the scrubber next to it.
“It was them… Drusilla and Darla. It was a trap and I… there was no way out of it and I killed Darla.”
Spike’s eyes widened as he realized the ache in his chest probably meant the loss of his Grandsire. He didn’t exactly know how he felt about that, but what was important was that Buffy was alive and well. “And Drusilla? Are you sure you’re alright?”
“She ran away. But… Giles, he’s in the hospital but he’ll be fine and Faith-” She let out a choked sob and buried her face in his neck. “She almost died… she still might. The doctors say she lost too much blood and she’s in a coma. They don’t know if she’ll ever wake up. They wouldn’t let me stay with her.”
“Oh, Buffy. I’m sorry.” He tightened his embrace. “I don’t think you should stay in this house.”
“It’s all my fault.” She pulled out of his arms, dropped to her knees and lifted the scrubber. Watching her start washing the blood-stained floor broke his heart, and he sank to his knees next to her, grunting at the pain caused by the movement.
“Buffy… stop.”
She wiped her forehead and continued cleaning. “I have to make this right. Can’t let her come home and see this.”
Spike sighed and gently took the scrubber from her grasp. “I’ll do it alright, love? Just not now. We have to get you out of here. Drusilla has access to the apartment now.”
“There’s something… Giles! H-he told me once that there’s a way to disinvite a vampire. He’s got a book. Maybe we can…”
He nodded. “Let me do it. It can’t be too difficult.”
*******
An hour later, Spike gratefully sank into the cushions of a worn couch in the living room and dropped the book on the seat next to him.
“Think it did the trick, luv?”
“I hope so.” She scrunched her nose. “Magic stinks.”
Spike chuckled and licked his dry lips, wondering if was going to pass out. What he needed was blood and he needed it soon.
“You don’t look so good.”
He turned his eyes to look at her and shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Just need to… uh… never mind.”
She scooted closer to him and tentatively brushed a stray curl away from his forehead. “You need blood.”
He glanced away.
“I know what you are, Spike. And I also know that you lost a lot of it. We need to get you something to eat.”
His eyes snapped to meet hers. “You’re not actually suggesting-”
“No! But… when I was at the hospital, I… umm… I might have taken a few bags of blood.”
Was she serious? Did she steal blood from the hospital? For him? “Why?”
Buffy squirmed under his gaze. “It’s not like anyone needed it. I took the ones that were a while after expiration date. I knew you’d need to eat, and I wanted to bring it to you but then I… I came here and it all hit me. How close I came to losing them both and I just… I’m sorry I forgot.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I get it, luv. And I’m here now, yeah?”
She nodded and stood from the couch. “I put it in the fridge. You sit here and rest. I’ll be back in a while.”
His eyelids closed against his own volition and as he relaxed, the pain from his wounds returning with a vengeance. The blood had stopped flowing from the injuries but it refused to heal and he could feel his cut skin sticking to his clothes. To distract himself, he listened to the sound of her footsteps as she walked around the kitchen, the beep of the microwave and the beats of her heart.
Buffy’s scent suddenly surrounded him and he forced his eyes open.
“I didn’t know if I should warm it but it was too cold so I did. Hope I didn’t mess up.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” he said with a smile and took the mug from her hands. “But to be honest, I’ve never done it this way.”
“Right.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“No, it’s okay. It’s not like I don’t know you’re a vampire.” She smiled slightly, and he let out the breath he’d been holding in.
Spike lifted the mug and put his lips to the rim, closing his eyes as the scent of human blood wafted to his nose. He hadn’t realized how starved he was until it did and as he took the first sip, he could feel the bones in his face shift to reveal the demon inside.
Gulping down the blood, he was scared to open his eyes. Terrified to see her face contorted in disgust.
TBC
Amazing banner by xaphania
Chapter 29
By the time Buffy reached the apartment, her lungs were burning from the exertion of running all the way across town. She slowed her step as she strode down the driveway and bent over to pick up a fallen branch, snapping it in two to use as a weapon. The stake she’d been holding was now somewhere on the floor of Spike’s flat so this would have to do.
Her heart thudded against her ribcage, the sound of it roaring in her ears as she noticed the door had been opened. She slipped through the crack, trying to make as little noise as possible as she entered the living room, the carpet muffling her footsteps. When she closed her eyes in concentration, the back of her neck signaled a vampire’s presence within the house.
All the lights in the apartment seemed to be on, but she couldn’t see anyone and her stomach tightened with dread. She quickened her step, honing in on the direction where she sensed the vampire lurking. Makeshift stake gripped firmly in hand, Buffy kicked down the door to Faith’s room.
“Here she is. The bad Slayer came to our party,” said the dark vampire that Buffy immediately recognized as Drusilla.
Faith was tied to the bed in a similar fashion as Spike had been, while Giles was tied to the chair next to it. Buffy spotted a set of bite marks on his neck but then breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed the steady rise and fall of his chest. They were both still alive. The door behind her suddenly slammed close, and she whirled to come face to face with Darla.
With a sinking feeling, she realized that seeing Faith and Giles had distracted her so much that she failed to notice the presence of another vampire.
“Well, hello, darling,” Darla said. “So glad you could make it.”
Buffy backed away so her back was to the wall instead of Drusilla and gulped, but met Darla’s eyes dead on. “I’m always up for a bit of fun. I can’t wait to see you choke on your dust… doesn’t get funnier than that.”
Darla laughed and circled the room, sweeping the surface of the dresser with a tip of her forefinger. “You talk big for someone who doesn’t stand a chance.”
“You know… I think I’ve heard that before.”
“Of course you have… from fledges. Drusilla and I are vampire royalty. So is Spike. You’re no match for the two of us.”
Drusilla stepped behind Giles, her arms slinking down to caress his chest as she licked the shell of his ear. Buffy was about to move forward when Darla said, “Take one step and Dru will snap his neck.”
At that, Drusilla purred and started to comb her fingers through Giles’ hair. “I like him. He smells like tea and books. It was so nice of him to invite us in. His heart stank of sympathy when he thought I was a helpless little child. Smoke and mirrors, smoke and… mirrors. They never see past the illusion.”
Darla smirked. “She may be crazy, but Dru is really good at thrall.”
So that was how they’d got inside. Buffy had never really believed a vampire could thrall someone, but it made sense because Giles would never have let a vampire into the house and nor would Faith. It was obvious it would be stupid to underestimate the two old vampires and her mind whirled with trying to figure out a way out of the mess they were all in.
Without casualties.
Instinct told her it was to keep them talking to buy some time. “Why did you do that to Spike? I thought you were supposed to be like a family or something.”
“I knew I smelled him all over you the minute you stepped into the room. The Slayer in love with a vampire… how… pathetic.” Darla grinned. “It’s not like we haven’t done that to him before. See, William… he gets difficult sometimes. But he does learn quickly.” Darla’s eyes gleamed with amusement as she trailed her hands provocatively down her body. “He knows how to please when we make him. Isn’t that right, Dru?”
Drusilla looked up from where she was nibbling on Giles’ earlobe and smiled. “Oh yes. My William is so passionate… loves to taste the mommy’s cream.”
Everything in Buffy screamed to kill and maim at those words, at them saying William’s name as if he belonged to them. William had always been hers.
“Anger doesn’t become you, Slayer,” Darla said with a leer. “But it is amusing to see. If you could only hear the way he screamed both our names, begging us to hurt him a bit more… mmm… I wonder if we should make your dark-haired friend here one of us.”
Fire burned Buffy’s skin and she saw red as Darla stepped closer. With a flurry of motion, Buffy leaped forward and backhanded Darla across her face. The mocking glint melted into yellow rage as she punched Buffy in the face. The strength of the hit almost made Buffy black out, but she fought through the pain and planted a roundhouse kick to the side of Darla’s head. The next few seconds passed in a mad blur, and Buffy found herself behind Darla’s back. She didn’t hesitate and locked one of her arms around her neck while she pressed the tip of the stake against Darla’s chest.
She was about to plunge it in when Drusilla screamed, “No!”
Buffy started out of her murderous haze and glanced towards Drusilla, noticing with panic that Drusilla had untied Faith and she was now pressed against Drusilla’s chest just like Darla was to hers. Buffy’s eyes widened at the blade resting against Faith’s neck and stilled her hand.
“Dust me and your friend dies too,” Darla said.
Drusilla slightly moved the blade to the side and drops of blood trickled down Faith’s throat. Faith was pale, but her lips were set in determination.
“Do it, Buffy!” she yelled, and Buffy didn’t hesitate. She plunged the stake into Darla’s chest, feeling her body slowly disintegrate as Faith stomped on Drusilla’s foot.
Faith seemed to get out of the dark vampire’s clutches, but as Buffy closed the distance, Drusilla suddenly seized Faith’s arm, twisted it and sneaked behind Faith.
With a long steady gaze, she lifted the knife and slit Faith’s throat.
Blood poured out of the wound and Faith fell to her knees, clutching at her throat in an effort to stave the blood flow. Drusilla rushed out of the room, but Buffy didn’t pay her any attention. Tears were threatening to blind her vision as she watched another person she loved bleed to death.
*******
Spike started awake and glanced around to find himself alone. Although he was partially healed, various bruises still marred his skin and he felt as if he’d been run over by a truck. Darla and Drusilla had really done a number on him the past two days.
There was only so much whipping and humiliation even a vampire could take
A strange ache spread through his chest and he frowned, rubbing it absentmindedly as he struggled to rise from the bed. Something had happened, something had changed, but he couldn’t pinpoint the source of it as he searched the floor for the pants. He needed to see Buffy, needed to know she was all right. His mind was kind of blurry as to what had happened, but he knew for a fact she’d been in his flat.
The sweet heady taste of her blood still raced through his system, however small the amount.
He dragged the tight jeans up his legs, wincing every time they chafed a wound. With how much he’d bled out, it was a wonder he didn’t pass out as he dressed. A shirt seemed to be a better choice as he didn’t have to raise his arms to put it on and he gratefully slid into it. He slipped into the duster next, reveling at the feel of the worn leather sheltering him as he made his way towards Buffy’s home.
*******
As soon as he crawled through the window into her empty room, the stench of blood hit him full force. The demon inside him demanded to be let out and his mouth watered despite his stomach churning with worry. He knew it wasn’t Buffy’s, but there was a lot of it and he followed his senses into a room next to hers.
He heard her frantic heartbeat before he opened the door and as he walked inside; she whipped around to stare at him. Before he could ask what was going on, he had his arms full of a crying girl. Unnerved, he closed his arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head. He never knew what to do when she cried.
“Are you alright?”
She hiccupped and sniffed before she shook her head.
“What happened?” His legs were beginning to shake, and he gritted his teeth to suppress the weakness.
“It’s my f-fault. Always m-my… wherever I a-am, death follows m-me. And t-they-”
Spike grasped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Tell me what happened.”
She breathed in and out to calm her voice and then he noticed her blood tinted hands and the bucket of pink stained water on the wooden floor, the scrubber next to it.
“It was them… Drusilla and Darla. It was a trap and I… there was no way out of it and I killed Darla.”
Spike’s eyes widened as he realized the ache in his chest probably meant the loss of his Grandsire. He didn’t exactly know how he felt about that, but what was important was that Buffy was alive and well. “And Drusilla? Are you sure you’re alright?”
“She ran away. But… Giles, he’s in the hospital but he’ll be fine and Faith-” She let out a choked sob and buried her face in his neck. “She almost died… she still might. The doctors say she lost too much blood and she’s in a coma. They don’t know if she’ll ever wake up. They wouldn’t let me stay with her.”
“Oh, Buffy. I’m sorry.” He tightened his embrace. “I don’t think you should stay in this house.”
“It’s all my fault.” She pulled out of his arms, dropped to her knees and lifted the scrubber. Watching her start washing the blood-stained floor broke his heart, and he sank to his knees next to her, grunting at the pain caused by the movement.
“Buffy… stop.”
She wiped her forehead and continued cleaning. “I have to make this right. Can’t let her come home and see this.”
Spike sighed and gently took the scrubber from her grasp. “I’ll do it alright, love? Just not now. We have to get you out of here. Drusilla has access to the apartment now.”
“There’s something… Giles! H-he told me once that there’s a way to disinvite a vampire. He’s got a book. Maybe we can…”
He nodded. “Let me do it. It can’t be too difficult.”
*******
An hour later, Spike gratefully sank into the cushions of a worn couch in the living room and dropped the book on the seat next to him.
“Think it did the trick, luv?”
“I hope so.” She scrunched her nose. “Magic stinks.”
Spike chuckled and licked his dry lips, wondering if was going to pass out. What he needed was blood and he needed it soon.
“You don’t look so good.”
He turned his eyes to look at her and shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Just need to… uh… never mind.”
She scooted closer to him and tentatively brushed a stray curl away from his forehead. “You need blood.”
He glanced away.
“I know what you are, Spike. And I also know that you lost a lot of it. We need to get you something to eat.”
His eyes snapped to meet hers. “You’re not actually suggesting-”
“No! But… when I was at the hospital, I… umm… I might have taken a few bags of blood.”
Was she serious? Did she steal blood from the hospital? For him? “Why?”
Buffy squirmed under his gaze. “It’s not like anyone needed it. I took the ones that were a while after expiration date. I knew you’d need to eat, and I wanted to bring it to you but then I… I came here and it all hit me. How close I came to losing them both and I just… I’m sorry I forgot.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I get it, luv. And I’m here now, yeah?”
She nodded and stood from the couch. “I put it in the fridge. You sit here and rest. I’ll be back in a while.”
His eyelids closed against his own volition and as he relaxed, the pain from his wounds returning with a vengeance. The blood had stopped flowing from the injuries but it refused to heal and he could feel his cut skin sticking to his clothes. To distract himself, he listened to the sound of her footsteps as she walked around the kitchen, the beep of the microwave and the beats of her heart.
Buffy’s scent suddenly surrounded him and he forced his eyes open.
“I didn’t know if I should warm it but it was too cold so I did. Hope I didn’t mess up.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” he said with a smile and took the mug from her hands. “But to be honest, I’ve never done it this way.”
“Right.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“No, it’s okay. It’s not like I don’t know you’re a vampire.” She smiled slightly, and he let out the breath he’d been holding in.
Spike lifted the mug and put his lips to the rim, closing his eyes as the scent of human blood wafted to his nose. He hadn’t realized how starved he was until it did and as he took the first sip, he could feel the bones in his face shift to reveal the demon inside.
Gulping down the blood, he was scared to open his eyes. Terrified to see her face contorted in disgust.
TBC
Chapter thirty
A/N: Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters, the best betas ever.
This gorgeous piece of work was made by xaphania.
Chapter 30
Latching onto the last shreds of his courage, Spike opened his eyes and forced the demon to recede.
“Do you need more?”
He shot her a quick glance, confused at seeing concern on her face. “What?”
“Blood. Do you want more?”
“I… thank you, that would be… thank you.”
Their fingers brushed as she took the mug from his hand. A couple of microwave beeps later, Buffy was sitting next to him and handing him the full to the brim mug. He gulped it down as fast as possible, hating that she had too see his vampire face again. His demon melted away.
“Don’t.” She touched his face. “I want to see it.”
“Buffy…”
“Please?”
He never could deny her anything and stared at her through yellow eyes.
“You know… this doesn’t make you any less sexy.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I mean it.” She traced the scrunched line of his nose. “As handsome as ever.”
Spike snorted.
“Hey, woman here, which means I’m always right.”
“Wouldn’t dream of saying otherwise,” he said with a tentative smile.
Her eyes widened in wonder as his face shifted back right under her hand. “Wow, that was strange.”
“So you’re not repulsed then?”
“No. It’s wiggy, but it kind of makes me…” She blushed and squirmed under his heated gaze.
“Hot?”
“Yeah. Only you though! I don’t go around flirting with vamps because eww… major lack of hygiene for most of them.”
“It’s the Slayer in you, I suppose. Drawn to a vampire… makes sense. We’re from a similar mold, only on the opposite team.”
“Maybe it’s just because it’s… you.”
He smiled. “Maybe.”
They sat together in silence and he quietly observed her, feeling helpless as a small frown appeared on her forehead.
“Are you alright?”
She shrugged and forced a smile on her face but she wasn’t fooling him.
“How can I help?”
“Can you wake Faith up from the coma?”
“No, not really,” he said “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “It’ll be fine, luv. You’ll see.”
She nodded and leveled him with a grateful look. “So, what about you? Do you feel any better?”
Before he could reply, her warm hands were drawing the hem of his t-shirt out of his jeans and she was touching his skin, probing his ribs to check if they were broken. He hissed and she drew back, obviously thinking she’d hurt him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine. Doesn’t really hurt much, just a bit sore is all. Maybe if you cleaned the wounds on my back?” He gazed at her hopefully, missing her hands on him.
“Okay. I’ll just grab some stuff.”
As Buffy made her way from the bathroom, she barely avoided dropping the towels and a basin full of warm water when she noticed he’d stripped off his t-shirt. Even bruised, the sight of him almost made her trip over her own feet, and she blushed as she sat down next to him.
“Here I am, your very own Buffy nurse.”
He leered at her, twisting to face her fully and she kicked herself for the comment. She could practically see the sexual connotations running through his mind.
“Mmm… I know I’ll love to be in your capable hands, nurse Buffy,” he drawled, and she felt it all the way to her core.
Ducking her head in order to look at the towel as she soaked it with water seemed like a good avoiding technique. In theory. In reality, she could see his intense gaze burning through her and the proximity of his bare chest didn’t help the wild fluttering of her heart in the least.
“Umm… okay, I’ll just clean the wounds. I have some healing cream but… does it work on vampires?”
Spike tilted his head and bit his lips in thought. Oh, how she wanted to bite it for him instead.
“Don’t think so, luv. I can already feel the blood doing its work.”
She nodded. “Turn around. I’ll do your back.”
He did, and she winced at the sight of the deep lash marks criss-crossing the skin of his back. Hatred lanced through her as she gently traced the reddened area around the cuts.
“Why did they do it?”
He didn’t even bother pretending to not know who she was talking about.
“For the kicks.” He winced as she washed the dried blood from his sore skin. “Dru had one of her visions and… she saw you and me. They didn’t really fancy the idea of me going around trying to woo the Slayer.”
Her hand stilled at his back. “So it’s my fault.”
“No, no it’s not. They would have found a reason sooner or later. They get off on hurting others.”
He half expected her to accuse him of being the same, of reveling in causing pain. She wouldn’t be wrong. That was why it surprised him so much when she muttered, “Getting off would be the key word.”
The blood she’d given him had already taken care of the healing and as the pain diminished, the awareness of her touch had rushed to the forefront of his mind. It would be a lie if he said he didn’t want to turn around and tackle her to the couch. Especially with her sounding so… jealous. Proprietary.
“Spike?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you… I mean… did the three of you… you know?”
He twisted to the side and shot a glance at her sullen expression before whispering, “Yeah.”
“Why?” Her fist clamped harder on the wet towel and he directed his gaze at it instead of her eyes. He couldn’t stand to look at her face. At the accusation and hurt he’d sure to see there.
When she cupped his cheek, he started and met her gaze.
“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked, and I guess I can understand. The loneliness and… well, being around someone like Drusilla and Darla. It’s just… it hurts. We were supposed to be each other’s first, you know? I wanted to be the first girl you’ve ever made love with and-” She dropped her hand. “If we ever do that… not saying we will! But if we do… how can I even compare?”
“Buffy… you’ve got it all wrong. If you ever let me that close, you will be the first girl I’ve ever made love to. With them it wasn’t… it was a cold comfort, I suppose. The demon’s need to feel connected to them and to be honest it always felt so… empty. Half the time I don’t even remember what happened. You’re the only woman I’ve ever truly loved and not to sound like a complete ponce—though it’s probably too late for that, but… nobody could ever compare to you. In any way.”
She blushed and focused her attention on his chest. “Will you take care of the rest yourself or do you want me to…”
He couldn’t stand the empty space separating them and reached out to close his fingers around her wrist. “You mean do I want you to touch me instead of cleaning the wounds myself?” He watched her with hooded eyes, his thumb stroking her pulse point. “What do you think?”
“That you’d like to do it yourself?”
He raised his eyebrow.
“It’s not like it would be sexy touching or anything.”
“Buffy… when it comes to you, even slapping me around would be considered sexy touching.” The blush on her cheeks made him smirk. He drew her unresisting hand to his chest, his eyes fluttering shut at the feel of her warmth spreading across his skin.
“It used to be different,” she said and traced her fingers down his chest, entranced with the smoothness of his skin, the firm muscles beneath. Then she realized what she was doing and seized the damp towel to clean the dried blood away.
“What?”
“It used to be me that made you blush, not the other way around.”
He chuckled and the sound turned to a purr as she gently brushed the towel across his skin. “You’re cute when you do that.”
She rolled her eyes and then her hands were gone, and he grunted in protest.
“There, all done,” she said.
“Already? But what about those hard to reach places?”
Her eyes widened. “There are no hard to reach places. They’re all very reachable!”
“But-”
“No more buts.”
“Not even butts of the other variety?”
She groaned. “You’re impossible!”
He pouted.
“Don’t you dare make those puppy eyes at me… so not going to work. You know, I don’t remember you having such a dirty mind.”
“I assure you I’ve always had one, just was too uptight to act upon it.”
“Well, you weren’t uptight when we… when you made me… you know.”
“When we dry humped on my bed, and I made you come and scream my name? Yeah, guess you bring that out in me.”
“Oh God, I can’t believe you just said that.”
“I love making you… squirm.” He leaned in and twined his fingers in her hair. “God, how I missed your hair.”
“Spike.”
The way his voice washed over her had her weak in the knees. It was probably a good thing she was sitting when he caressed the nape of her neck and drew her forward. When he leaned in and kissed her, her hands flew up to seek purchase and landed on his shoulders. The muscles tensed beneath her hands as he pulled her closer, making her blood rush faster when the tip of his tongue snuck out to brush against the seam of her lips. His hands slipped to her waist, and he pulled her on his lap, their torsos pressed tightly together.
Buffy whimpered into his lips as his fingers found their way under her t-shirt and caressed her bare skin. She loosened her tight hold on his shoulders and trailed them up his neck to bury them in his soft hair. Using the hold on him, she tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss, craving to be closer to him, to feel as much of him as possible.
The blood in her veins was racing now, the rush of it almost drowning out the fast breaths and moans streaming past their desperate lips as she squirmed on his lap. The hands on her waist tightened to the point of pain before moving to clutch at her circling hips, guiding her, pressing her impossibly closer.
The intensity between them escalated, the heat of their embrace searing. She couldn’t get enough of him. The way his mouth dragged against hers, the slide of his tongue, the way his teeth nipped at her swollen lips. And his hands. God, his hands scorched her skin as they sought and touched, sneaking beneath the fabric of her clothes.
She took in a ragged breath when their lips separated and he latched onto the sensitive skin of her neck. There was nothing she wanted more than to press him down on the couch and strip those jeans off him. And that was what scared her so much.
“Spike?”
“Mmm?” He sucked her earlobe into his mouth and nibbled on it.
She struggled to form a coherent thought and leaned away from him. Spike gazed at her, panting, his eyes dark and intense.
“We can’t keep doing this.”
“What? Snogging? Why the hell not?”
“It’s… we just shouldn’t. We can’t just start where we left off. There’s so many things that we need to figure out and-”
His hands caressed her backside and she gulped. “Buffy, I can’t keep my hands off you. We can figure the stuff out as we go. Everything will work itself out. You’ll see.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Reluctantly, she climbed off him, pretending not to notice how his eyes rolled back in his head, his face contorted in pleasure as she accidentally pressed down on his lap before moving to sit next to him.
The air around was still thick with tension and her hands itched to touch him. Seeing his mussed hair and swollen lips didn’t help her to quell the urge at all. If he kept up staring at her as if she was chocolate fudge cake with strawberries on top, there was no way she’d be able to keep her hands to herself. She shot to her feet.
“I’m going to… umm… bathroom. Brush my teeth before going to bed and all that. And maybe I’ll call the hospital… see if anything has changed. It probably hasn’t, but I… I need to be sure.”
“Maybe I should just sod off. Let yo-”
“No! Don’t go. I don’t want to be here alone.” She knew it was a bad idea to let him stay, but she needed him to be there. Needed him to help her keep her mind off things. “Promise me you won’t go.”
His eyes softened as he said, “I’ll be here, luv.”
TBC
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the Spuffy chapter. ;)
This gorgeous piece of work was made by xaphania.
Chapter 30
Latching onto the last shreds of his courage, Spike opened his eyes and forced the demon to recede.
“Do you need more?”
He shot her a quick glance, confused at seeing concern on her face. “What?”
“Blood. Do you want more?”
“I… thank you, that would be… thank you.”
Their fingers brushed as she took the mug from his hand. A couple of microwave beeps later, Buffy was sitting next to him and handing him the full to the brim mug. He gulped it down as fast as possible, hating that she had too see his vampire face again. His demon melted away.
“Don’t.” She touched his face. “I want to see it.”
“Buffy…”
“Please?”
He never could deny her anything and stared at her through yellow eyes.
“You know… this doesn’t make you any less sexy.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I mean it.” She traced the scrunched line of his nose. “As handsome as ever.”
Spike snorted.
“Hey, woman here, which means I’m always right.”
“Wouldn’t dream of saying otherwise,” he said with a tentative smile.
Her eyes widened in wonder as his face shifted back right under her hand. “Wow, that was strange.”
“So you’re not repulsed then?”
“No. It’s wiggy, but it kind of makes me…” She blushed and squirmed under his heated gaze.
“Hot?”
“Yeah. Only you though! I don’t go around flirting with vamps because eww… major lack of hygiene for most of them.”
“It’s the Slayer in you, I suppose. Drawn to a vampire… makes sense. We’re from a similar mold, only on the opposite team.”
“Maybe it’s just because it’s… you.”
He smiled. “Maybe.”
They sat together in silence and he quietly observed her, feeling helpless as a small frown appeared on her forehead.
“Are you alright?”
She shrugged and forced a smile on her face but she wasn’t fooling him.
“How can I help?”
“Can you wake Faith up from the coma?”
“No, not really,” he said “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “It’ll be fine, luv. You’ll see.”
She nodded and leveled him with a grateful look. “So, what about you? Do you feel any better?”
Before he could reply, her warm hands were drawing the hem of his t-shirt out of his jeans and she was touching his skin, probing his ribs to check if they were broken. He hissed and she drew back, obviously thinking she’d hurt him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine. Doesn’t really hurt much, just a bit sore is all. Maybe if you cleaned the wounds on my back?” He gazed at her hopefully, missing her hands on him.
“Okay. I’ll just grab some stuff.”
As Buffy made her way from the bathroom, she barely avoided dropping the towels and a basin full of warm water when she noticed he’d stripped off his t-shirt. Even bruised, the sight of him almost made her trip over her own feet, and she blushed as she sat down next to him.
“Here I am, your very own Buffy nurse.”
He leered at her, twisting to face her fully and she kicked herself for the comment. She could practically see the sexual connotations running through his mind.
“Mmm… I know I’ll love to be in your capable hands, nurse Buffy,” he drawled, and she felt it all the way to her core.
Ducking her head in order to look at the towel as she soaked it with water seemed like a good avoiding technique. In theory. In reality, she could see his intense gaze burning through her and the proximity of his bare chest didn’t help the wild fluttering of her heart in the least.
“Umm… okay, I’ll just clean the wounds. I have some healing cream but… does it work on vampires?”
Spike tilted his head and bit his lips in thought. Oh, how she wanted to bite it for him instead.
“Don’t think so, luv. I can already feel the blood doing its work.”
She nodded. “Turn around. I’ll do your back.”
He did, and she winced at the sight of the deep lash marks criss-crossing the skin of his back. Hatred lanced through her as she gently traced the reddened area around the cuts.
“Why did they do it?”
He didn’t even bother pretending to not know who she was talking about.
“For the kicks.” He winced as she washed the dried blood from his sore skin. “Dru had one of her visions and… she saw you and me. They didn’t really fancy the idea of me going around trying to woo the Slayer.”
Her hand stilled at his back. “So it’s my fault.”
“No, no it’s not. They would have found a reason sooner or later. They get off on hurting others.”
He half expected her to accuse him of being the same, of reveling in causing pain. She wouldn’t be wrong. That was why it surprised him so much when she muttered, “Getting off would be the key word.”
The blood she’d given him had already taken care of the healing and as the pain diminished, the awareness of her touch had rushed to the forefront of his mind. It would be a lie if he said he didn’t want to turn around and tackle her to the couch. Especially with her sounding so… jealous. Proprietary.
“Spike?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you… I mean… did the three of you… you know?”
He twisted to the side and shot a glance at her sullen expression before whispering, “Yeah.”
“Why?” Her fist clamped harder on the wet towel and he directed his gaze at it instead of her eyes. He couldn’t stand to look at her face. At the accusation and hurt he’d sure to see there.
When she cupped his cheek, he started and met her gaze.
“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked, and I guess I can understand. The loneliness and… well, being around someone like Drusilla and Darla. It’s just… it hurts. We were supposed to be each other’s first, you know? I wanted to be the first girl you’ve ever made love with and-” She dropped her hand. “If we ever do that… not saying we will! But if we do… how can I even compare?”
“Buffy… you’ve got it all wrong. If you ever let me that close, you will be the first girl I’ve ever made love to. With them it wasn’t… it was a cold comfort, I suppose. The demon’s need to feel connected to them and to be honest it always felt so… empty. Half the time I don’t even remember what happened. You’re the only woman I’ve ever truly loved and not to sound like a complete ponce—though it’s probably too late for that, but… nobody could ever compare to you. In any way.”
She blushed and focused her attention on his chest. “Will you take care of the rest yourself or do you want me to…”
He couldn’t stand the empty space separating them and reached out to close his fingers around her wrist. “You mean do I want you to touch me instead of cleaning the wounds myself?” He watched her with hooded eyes, his thumb stroking her pulse point. “What do you think?”
“That you’d like to do it yourself?”
He raised his eyebrow.
“It’s not like it would be sexy touching or anything.”
“Buffy… when it comes to you, even slapping me around would be considered sexy touching.” The blush on her cheeks made him smirk. He drew her unresisting hand to his chest, his eyes fluttering shut at the feel of her warmth spreading across his skin.
“It used to be different,” she said and traced her fingers down his chest, entranced with the smoothness of his skin, the firm muscles beneath. Then she realized what she was doing and seized the damp towel to clean the dried blood away.
“What?”
“It used to be me that made you blush, not the other way around.”
He chuckled and the sound turned to a purr as she gently brushed the towel across his skin. “You’re cute when you do that.”
She rolled her eyes and then her hands were gone, and he grunted in protest.
“There, all done,” she said.
“Already? But what about those hard to reach places?”
Her eyes widened. “There are no hard to reach places. They’re all very reachable!”
“But-”
“No more buts.”
“Not even butts of the other variety?”
She groaned. “You’re impossible!”
He pouted.
“Don’t you dare make those puppy eyes at me… so not going to work. You know, I don’t remember you having such a dirty mind.”
“I assure you I’ve always had one, just was too uptight to act upon it.”
“Well, you weren’t uptight when we… when you made me… you know.”
“When we dry humped on my bed, and I made you come and scream my name? Yeah, guess you bring that out in me.”
“Oh God, I can’t believe you just said that.”
“I love making you… squirm.” He leaned in and twined his fingers in her hair. “God, how I missed your hair.”
“Spike.”
The way his voice washed over her had her weak in the knees. It was probably a good thing she was sitting when he caressed the nape of her neck and drew her forward. When he leaned in and kissed her, her hands flew up to seek purchase and landed on his shoulders. The muscles tensed beneath her hands as he pulled her closer, making her blood rush faster when the tip of his tongue snuck out to brush against the seam of her lips. His hands slipped to her waist, and he pulled her on his lap, their torsos pressed tightly together.
Buffy whimpered into his lips as his fingers found their way under her t-shirt and caressed her bare skin. She loosened her tight hold on his shoulders and trailed them up his neck to bury them in his soft hair. Using the hold on him, she tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss, craving to be closer to him, to feel as much of him as possible.
The blood in her veins was racing now, the rush of it almost drowning out the fast breaths and moans streaming past their desperate lips as she squirmed on his lap. The hands on her waist tightened to the point of pain before moving to clutch at her circling hips, guiding her, pressing her impossibly closer.
The intensity between them escalated, the heat of their embrace searing. She couldn’t get enough of him. The way his mouth dragged against hers, the slide of his tongue, the way his teeth nipped at her swollen lips. And his hands. God, his hands scorched her skin as they sought and touched, sneaking beneath the fabric of her clothes.
She took in a ragged breath when their lips separated and he latched onto the sensitive skin of her neck. There was nothing she wanted more than to press him down on the couch and strip those jeans off him. And that was what scared her so much.
“Spike?”
“Mmm?” He sucked her earlobe into his mouth and nibbled on it.
She struggled to form a coherent thought and leaned away from him. Spike gazed at her, panting, his eyes dark and intense.
“We can’t keep doing this.”
“What? Snogging? Why the hell not?”
“It’s… we just shouldn’t. We can’t just start where we left off. There’s so many things that we need to figure out and-”
His hands caressed her backside and she gulped. “Buffy, I can’t keep my hands off you. We can figure the stuff out as we go. Everything will work itself out. You’ll see.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Reluctantly, she climbed off him, pretending not to notice how his eyes rolled back in his head, his face contorted in pleasure as she accidentally pressed down on his lap before moving to sit next to him.
The air around was still thick with tension and her hands itched to touch him. Seeing his mussed hair and swollen lips didn’t help her to quell the urge at all. If he kept up staring at her as if she was chocolate fudge cake with strawberries on top, there was no way she’d be able to keep her hands to herself. She shot to her feet.
“I’m going to… umm… bathroom. Brush my teeth before going to bed and all that. And maybe I’ll call the hospital… see if anything has changed. It probably hasn’t, but I… I need to be sure.”
“Maybe I should just sod off. Let yo-”
“No! Don’t go. I don’t want to be here alone.” She knew it was a bad idea to let him stay, but she needed him to be there. Needed him to help her keep her mind off things. “Promise me you won’t go.”
His eyes softened as he said, “I’ll be here, luv.”
TBC
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the Spuffy chapter. ;)
Chapter thirty-one
A/N: I haven't had time to update sooner and I hope I'll be able to keep the two chapters a week update ince I've got both a part-time job and trying to do a work experience. Wish me luck. lol I love you, kind readers. ;)
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters
Awesome banner by xaphania
Chapter 31
The phone call didn’t prove to be particularly useful. They informed her that Faith was still unconscious, and couldn’t even confirm she’d be able to see her friend tomorrow. And if they let her, Buffy didn’t know how she’d cope with seeing Faith lying in a hospital bed all helpless. Giles, however, was fine and would be coming home in a couple of days, so that was a relief. The doctors wanted to run a couple more tests and observe if everything was fine after the blood transfusion.
“Buffy?”
She spun around.
Spike smiled and gently took the phone out of her grip before hanging it up. “You alright? How are the others?”
“Do you really care?”
“I hate seeing you unhappy.”
“They’re… the same. Giles will be coming home tomorrow or the day after that… I’m not sure.”
Spike reached out and cupped her cheek. “Don’t worry. Faith will pull through, she’s a tough one.” He dropped his hand.
“You knew her? Back when we… back at school?”
“More like knew of her. Was kinda scared of her to be honest. She’s the type of a bird that makes a bloke skedaddle with one look. A man-eater is what she is.”
Buffy chuckled. “Yes, that’s her.”
The urge to draw her into his embrace was too strong, so he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He hated having to walk on eggshells around her, fumbling with doubt. Could he touch her without being shrugged off? Could he say he loved her without getting rejected? Could he even say anything without having to fear she’d take it the wrong way?
“Spike?”
He shook himself and met her gaze, waiting. A small line appeared between her brows. As if she wanted to say something, as if she could feel his inner turmoil, but then it was gone and she was walking past him.
“We should get you something to wear. A clean t-shirt and maybe some sweats. I know Giles should have something in his closet. I’m sure he won’t mind. He probably won’t even notice.”
As he followed her up the stairs, Spike was pretty sure the Watcher would mind a vampire wearing his clothes, but he kept his mouth shut.
They entered a room and Spike leaned against the doorjamb, content to watch her search the Watcher’s closet. Did she even realize how beautiful she was? How she took his breath away and made him tremble with every move she made? How much he needed her love?
With a smile that made the butterflies flap their wings in his stomach, she crossed the room and showed him the clothes. A simple white t-shirt and black sweats.
“Are these okay?”
“They’re great. Thank you, luv.”
She blushed. “Umm… you’re welcome. And I’ll need your jeans so I can throw them into a washing machine along with the t-shirt. Good thing you only wear black because I can have them washed at the same time and… I’ll stop boring you with the laundry talk. Sorry.”
He could listen to her talk about laundry all day. “Should I take them off now?”
“That would be great.”
He expected her to go away or at least turn around but she didn’t. “Eh… Buffy? Not that I mind, but if you stay here, you’ll probably catch an eyeful.”
“Huh?”
“I’m all naked under these.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Right… I’ll just… turn around.”
She did and Spike popped the button open before sliding the zipper down. Her heartbeat picked up in speed. Rolling the jeans down his legs was more painful that he’d have expected and he couldn’t suppress a growl of frustration.
“A-are you okay?”
“Think I ripped off some scabs. Bloody tight jeans.”
Buffy smacked her forehead. “Shower. You should go take one. Why didn’t I think of that before?”
Maybe because she wanted to touch him? Clean his wounds herself? He wanted to say but instead told her, “Well, it’s not like I’d be able to reach my back, right?”
“Yes, that’s true.” Her head turned to the side, but she kept her gaze on the wall. “Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom.”
He bunched the filthy jeans at his groin and followed her across the hall. When they entered the small bathroom, he couldn’t help but notice the way her cheeks turned pink and how her eyes darted around the room to avoid looking at him.
“The towels are right next to the shower stall as you can see, and I’ll put the clean clothes right here.” She set them down on the closed toilet lid before rushing out of the bathroom.
*******
When he stepped out of the shower and walked down the stairs, he found Buffy sitting on the couch with her legs tucked beneath her. He wanted to lie down with his head on her lap as she played with his hair.
“All done?” she asked with a smile.
“All fresh and smelling girly. Though I feel ridiculous wearing these clothes. Been a while since I wore white. Feels wrong somehow. Not to mention it’s a couple of sizes too big.” He sat down next to her.
She stared at him with those soft eyes and he felt like a schoolboy again. Hopeful. Nervous.
“I like how your hair curls. I always have.” She reached out and brushed a stray wet strand away from his forehead. Before he could lean into her touch, she drew her hand back. “It’s late. I should probably go to sleep.”
She stood up and he leaped to his feet before she could leave. Closing his fingers around her forearm, he spun her around and threaded his fingers through her hair before smashing his lips against hers. As soon as made contact, his whole body screamed at him to touch her. To possess her.
He slid one hand to her lower back and tugged her closer, his lips claiming hers in a bruising kiss. Buffy gave as good as she got and sucked at his tongue. Nothing could compare to the desperation of needing to taste her lips. So sweet. So his. So voracious as she bit his lower lip and scraped his nipples with her fingernails. He groaned and his hands wandered to her bottom, stroking and kneading until she was gasping and wriggling to press her body closer.
The oxygen was becoming an issue, so she leaned back. In a haze, he sought her mouth again, suckling her soft upper lip between his before drawing away to let her breathe.
“W-what was that?”
“A goodnight kiss.” His lips trailed down her neck to taste her skin.
“You know I can’t resist you when you do that.”
He kissed the shell of her ear and whispered, “Don’t want you to resist me. Need you. Can you feel how much I need you, Buffy?”
“Y-yes.” She panted against his neck. “Gotta go to bed.”
“Mmm… yeah, we should.”
“Me. You stay here.”
“I don’t want to. Have to touch you. Kiss you. Taste you.” His hands slipped under the waistband of her shorts and knickers to caress her backside. She was burning him.
“Uh-huh. I mean… no!” She pushed him away, her eyes unfocused. “I-it’s late. We shouldn’t… not like this. Not now.”
He forced himself not to follow her as she backed away. If she wasn’t ready, the last thing he wanted to do was push her. Even if he couldn’t stop imagining pressing her against the nearby wall and stripping those little shorts off her body.
“You can sleep anywhere you want… the couch or Faith’s room.” Then she fled, the door slamming close behind her.
He sighed and collapsed on the couch.
It was going to be a long night.
*******
Sometime in the middle of the night, Buffy stirred awake for the thousandth time and groaned into her pillow. She couldn’t stop thinking about Spike sleeping just a couple of walls away—all mussed hair and delicious lips. What was he doing to her? Why couldn’t she keep her hands off him?
It seemed pointless to even try to fall asleep. Every time her eyes closed, he was there, waiting. Eyes twinkling, a smirk playing around his lips, his voice deep and rumbling as he whispered filthy nothings into her ear. And when he wasn’t, Faith stared at her with accusing eyes, asking why Buffy hadn’t been faster. It was starting to drive her crazy.
She kicked off the covers and lifted herself from the bed, pacing. There had to be something she could do to take her mind off things. A menial task. Her eyes landed on the heap of Spike’s blood stained clothes resting on her chair. She’d dropped them there while he showered then got distracted and had forgotten to throw them into the washer.
With a shrug she gathered them and headed to the bathroom where the washing machine was. Her mother used to forget to empty the pockets, and Buffy often found the money she’d been carrying around soggy and in need of thorough drying. For a moment she wondered how her mom was doing, if she was happy that she didn’t have to worry about her daughter anymore. Did she even know the school had been closed? Would she care?
'Maybe I should call her… maybe she misses me.'
Buffy snorted and searched the pockets of Spike’s jeans for any non-washable items. Her fingers encountered something smooth and cold.
A Zippo lighter.
'Guess he really smokes after all.'
She turned the other pocket inside out and a piece of worn fabric fluttered to the floor. It seemed familiar for some reason so she bent down to pick it up.
It was her red hair tie.
***
His fingers delved into her hair and he untied the knot of the tie. A wave of affection almost overwhelmed her at the look on William’s face as he massaged her scalp and spread her hair around her shoulders.
“You always do that,” she said with a smile.
“Love your hair like this. It makes you look even more beautiful.”
“Then I’ll never ever wear it up again.”
“Perhaps I’ll hide this just to be sure.” He grinned and caressed her cheek.
***
Buffy hastily put it back into the pocket so he wouldn’t know she’d found it. The realization he’d carried it with him everywhere was mind boggling. It had to have been after he was turned and the thought of him keeping something of hers made her heart clench. He’d told her of course, that he’d missed her so much, thought she was dead, but… This was the first time she actually got it. Realized he’d been desperate to be close to her in any way he could.
For her, it was through his poems that she’d felt closer to William. Were they really all that different?
How could she possibly deny his humanity now?
Buffy dropped the clothes into the washer, turned it on and tiptoed into the living room.
Spike was sprawled on the couch, his lips slightly parted, a pillow clutched to his chest. How many times had she wished to have him back? How many times had she cursed God for taking him away, crying until her voice turned hoarse because she couldn’t touch and talk to him anymore? And now he was here, within her reach, still her William at heart.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she crossed the room and knelt down next to the couch. He mumbled something and turned on his side, facing her. Even in sleep, he sought her. Not wanting to wake him up, but unable to help herself, Buffy gently stroked his hair. Her heart felt as if it burst if she didn’t get the words out. It would be better this way, that he couldn’t hear it.
She leaned down and pressed her lips to his cheek, lingering as she whispered against his skin, “I love you.”
With one last glance, she stood up and went to her bed.
TBC
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters
Awesome banner by xaphania
Chapter 31
The phone call didn’t prove to be particularly useful. They informed her that Faith was still unconscious, and couldn’t even confirm she’d be able to see her friend tomorrow. And if they let her, Buffy didn’t know how she’d cope with seeing Faith lying in a hospital bed all helpless. Giles, however, was fine and would be coming home in a couple of days, so that was a relief. The doctors wanted to run a couple more tests and observe if everything was fine after the blood transfusion.
“Buffy?”
She spun around.
Spike smiled and gently took the phone out of her grip before hanging it up. “You alright? How are the others?”
“Do you really care?”
“I hate seeing you unhappy.”
“They’re… the same. Giles will be coming home tomorrow or the day after that… I’m not sure.”
Spike reached out and cupped her cheek. “Don’t worry. Faith will pull through, she’s a tough one.” He dropped his hand.
“You knew her? Back when we… back at school?”
“More like knew of her. Was kinda scared of her to be honest. She’s the type of a bird that makes a bloke skedaddle with one look. A man-eater is what she is.”
Buffy chuckled. “Yes, that’s her.”
The urge to draw her into his embrace was too strong, so he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He hated having to walk on eggshells around her, fumbling with doubt. Could he touch her without being shrugged off? Could he say he loved her without getting rejected? Could he even say anything without having to fear she’d take it the wrong way?
“Spike?”
He shook himself and met her gaze, waiting. A small line appeared between her brows. As if she wanted to say something, as if she could feel his inner turmoil, but then it was gone and she was walking past him.
“We should get you something to wear. A clean t-shirt and maybe some sweats. I know Giles should have something in his closet. I’m sure he won’t mind. He probably won’t even notice.”
As he followed her up the stairs, Spike was pretty sure the Watcher would mind a vampire wearing his clothes, but he kept his mouth shut.
They entered a room and Spike leaned against the doorjamb, content to watch her search the Watcher’s closet. Did she even realize how beautiful she was? How she took his breath away and made him tremble with every move she made? How much he needed her love?
With a smile that made the butterflies flap their wings in his stomach, she crossed the room and showed him the clothes. A simple white t-shirt and black sweats.
“Are these okay?”
“They’re great. Thank you, luv.”
She blushed. “Umm… you’re welcome. And I’ll need your jeans so I can throw them into a washing machine along with the t-shirt. Good thing you only wear black because I can have them washed at the same time and… I’ll stop boring you with the laundry talk. Sorry.”
He could listen to her talk about laundry all day. “Should I take them off now?”
“That would be great.”
He expected her to go away or at least turn around but she didn’t. “Eh… Buffy? Not that I mind, but if you stay here, you’ll probably catch an eyeful.”
“Huh?”
“I’m all naked under these.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Right… I’ll just… turn around.”
She did and Spike popped the button open before sliding the zipper down. Her heartbeat picked up in speed. Rolling the jeans down his legs was more painful that he’d have expected and he couldn’t suppress a growl of frustration.
“A-are you okay?”
“Think I ripped off some scabs. Bloody tight jeans.”
Buffy smacked her forehead. “Shower. You should go take one. Why didn’t I think of that before?”
Maybe because she wanted to touch him? Clean his wounds herself? He wanted to say but instead told her, “Well, it’s not like I’d be able to reach my back, right?”
“Yes, that’s true.” Her head turned to the side, but she kept her gaze on the wall. “Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom.”
He bunched the filthy jeans at his groin and followed her across the hall. When they entered the small bathroom, he couldn’t help but notice the way her cheeks turned pink and how her eyes darted around the room to avoid looking at him.
“The towels are right next to the shower stall as you can see, and I’ll put the clean clothes right here.” She set them down on the closed toilet lid before rushing out of the bathroom.
*******
When he stepped out of the shower and walked down the stairs, he found Buffy sitting on the couch with her legs tucked beneath her. He wanted to lie down with his head on her lap as she played with his hair.
“All done?” she asked with a smile.
“All fresh and smelling girly. Though I feel ridiculous wearing these clothes. Been a while since I wore white. Feels wrong somehow. Not to mention it’s a couple of sizes too big.” He sat down next to her.
She stared at him with those soft eyes and he felt like a schoolboy again. Hopeful. Nervous.
“I like how your hair curls. I always have.” She reached out and brushed a stray wet strand away from his forehead. Before he could lean into her touch, she drew her hand back. “It’s late. I should probably go to sleep.”
She stood up and he leaped to his feet before she could leave. Closing his fingers around her forearm, he spun her around and threaded his fingers through her hair before smashing his lips against hers. As soon as made contact, his whole body screamed at him to touch her. To possess her.
He slid one hand to her lower back and tugged her closer, his lips claiming hers in a bruising kiss. Buffy gave as good as she got and sucked at his tongue. Nothing could compare to the desperation of needing to taste her lips. So sweet. So his. So voracious as she bit his lower lip and scraped his nipples with her fingernails. He groaned and his hands wandered to her bottom, stroking and kneading until she was gasping and wriggling to press her body closer.
The oxygen was becoming an issue, so she leaned back. In a haze, he sought her mouth again, suckling her soft upper lip between his before drawing away to let her breathe.
“W-what was that?”
“A goodnight kiss.” His lips trailed down her neck to taste her skin.
“You know I can’t resist you when you do that.”
He kissed the shell of her ear and whispered, “Don’t want you to resist me. Need you. Can you feel how much I need you, Buffy?”
“Y-yes.” She panted against his neck. “Gotta go to bed.”
“Mmm… yeah, we should.”
“Me. You stay here.”
“I don’t want to. Have to touch you. Kiss you. Taste you.” His hands slipped under the waistband of her shorts and knickers to caress her backside. She was burning him.
“Uh-huh. I mean… no!” She pushed him away, her eyes unfocused. “I-it’s late. We shouldn’t… not like this. Not now.”
He forced himself not to follow her as she backed away. If she wasn’t ready, the last thing he wanted to do was push her. Even if he couldn’t stop imagining pressing her against the nearby wall and stripping those little shorts off her body.
“You can sleep anywhere you want… the couch or Faith’s room.” Then she fled, the door slamming close behind her.
He sighed and collapsed on the couch.
It was going to be a long night.
*******
Sometime in the middle of the night, Buffy stirred awake for the thousandth time and groaned into her pillow. She couldn’t stop thinking about Spike sleeping just a couple of walls away—all mussed hair and delicious lips. What was he doing to her? Why couldn’t she keep her hands off him?
It seemed pointless to even try to fall asleep. Every time her eyes closed, he was there, waiting. Eyes twinkling, a smirk playing around his lips, his voice deep and rumbling as he whispered filthy nothings into her ear. And when he wasn’t, Faith stared at her with accusing eyes, asking why Buffy hadn’t been faster. It was starting to drive her crazy.
She kicked off the covers and lifted herself from the bed, pacing. There had to be something she could do to take her mind off things. A menial task. Her eyes landed on the heap of Spike’s blood stained clothes resting on her chair. She’d dropped them there while he showered then got distracted and had forgotten to throw them into the washer.
With a shrug she gathered them and headed to the bathroom where the washing machine was. Her mother used to forget to empty the pockets, and Buffy often found the money she’d been carrying around soggy and in need of thorough drying. For a moment she wondered how her mom was doing, if she was happy that she didn’t have to worry about her daughter anymore. Did she even know the school had been closed? Would she care?
'Maybe I should call her… maybe she misses me.'
Buffy snorted and searched the pockets of Spike’s jeans for any non-washable items. Her fingers encountered something smooth and cold.
A Zippo lighter.
'Guess he really smokes after all.'
She turned the other pocket inside out and a piece of worn fabric fluttered to the floor. It seemed familiar for some reason so she bent down to pick it up.
It was her red hair tie.
***
His fingers delved into her hair and he untied the knot of the tie. A wave of affection almost overwhelmed her at the look on William’s face as he massaged her scalp and spread her hair around her shoulders.
“You always do that,” she said with a smile.
“Love your hair like this. It makes you look even more beautiful.”
“Then I’ll never ever wear it up again.”
“Perhaps I’ll hide this just to be sure.” He grinned and caressed her cheek.
***
Buffy hastily put it back into the pocket so he wouldn’t know she’d found it. The realization he’d carried it with him everywhere was mind boggling. It had to have been after he was turned and the thought of him keeping something of hers made her heart clench. He’d told her of course, that he’d missed her so much, thought she was dead, but… This was the first time she actually got it. Realized he’d been desperate to be close to her in any way he could.
For her, it was through his poems that she’d felt closer to William. Were they really all that different?
How could she possibly deny his humanity now?
Buffy dropped the clothes into the washer, turned it on and tiptoed into the living room.
Spike was sprawled on the couch, his lips slightly parted, a pillow clutched to his chest. How many times had she wished to have him back? How many times had she cursed God for taking him away, crying until her voice turned hoarse because she couldn’t touch and talk to him anymore? And now he was here, within her reach, still her William at heart.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she crossed the room and knelt down next to the couch. He mumbled something and turned on his side, facing her. Even in sleep, he sought her. Not wanting to wake him up, but unable to help herself, Buffy gently stroked his hair. Her heart felt as if it burst if she didn’t get the words out. It would be better this way, that he couldn’t hear it.
She leaned down and pressed her lips to his cheek, lingering as she whispered against his skin, “I love you.”
With one last glance, she stood up and went to her bed.
TBC
Chapter thirty-two
A/N: Yay, I'm updating! I have a few more chapters written, just need to get it betad. ;)
Speaking of betas... thank you dawnofme and Mabel Marsters for your help!
Pretty banner by xaphania
Chapter 32
Buffy’s stomach clenched at the stench of sickness and fear that permeated the hospital. The smells were what she hated most about such a clinical place. She crinkled her nose and determined to ignore the depressing atmosphere, she pressed her lips together as she walked towards the reception. The rubber floor squeaked under her sneakers.
“Hi, I’ve come to see Faith Lehane and Rupert Giles.”
The receptionist glanced away from the computer screen and gave her a professional smile. Somehow, Buffy would have preferred a scowl or a sigh of annoyance. At least that would have been sincere.
“Wait a second, Miss…”
“Summers. Buffy Summers.” She crossed her arms across her chest.
“Right, Miss Summers. Go sit in the waiting room, and I’ll let you know if you can go in.”
“But it’s visiting hours now. Why can’t you just tell me what rooms they’re in, and I won’t bother you anymore?”
“The doctors might be doing some tests. I’ll have to check-” The telephone rang. “Hold on.”
Buffy leaned against the counter and propped up her chin on her upturned palm. The woman set the phone down and turned her attention towards Buffy again, the indifferent professional smile firmly in place before she scanned the computer screen with her eyes.
“Mr. Giles is in 135.”
“Thank you. And Faith Lehane?”
“She’s in the intensive care. You’re not permitted to see her right now.”
Buffy was about to argue when a nurse called out, “Maggie, do you want me to bring you a cup of coffee from the machine?”
The receptionist turned away from Buffy and answered, “Thanks, but I don’t want to bother you. I’ll grab it myself.”
Without another word, Maggie stood up and walked over the coffee machine, trading a few words with the nurse. An insane idea came to Buffy and before she could talk herself out of it, she quickly leaned over the counter and scanned the computer screen for Faith’s name. Her heart was pounding when she backed away from the counter, Maggie already turning around to head back to the desk.
Buffy let out a relieved breath and hurried towards the elevator.
*******
Buffy saw a nurse leave Faith’s room with a clipboard tucked under her arm and Buffy waited until she disappeared in a room down the corridor. Holding her breath, Buffy slipped into Faith’s room and approached the bed.
For a moment, the sight halted her steps but she shook herself out of it and crossed the distance to take Faith’s pale limp hand into hers. She was almost afraid to touch her, afraid that the slightest pressure would hurt her. Seeing Faith so still and weak unsettled her.
“Hi. I don’t know if you can hear me, and to be honest I feel kind of stupid talking to myself here but… wake up already, okay? I miss you. I know it’s been just two days and you’d probably tell me to stop freaking out, but I can’t help it.”
She brushed the strand of dark hair off her forehead. “Giles is fine. I’ve just seen him, and he’s eager to get out of the ‘bloody’ hospital. I think the nurse that’s been taking care of him has a crush on him and it’s wigging him out big time.” Buffy cracked a smile, her thumb massaging Faith’s wrist. “He’s coming home tonight.”
“It will be so empty without you in the house so stop being lazy and wake up already.”
Buffy’s eyes darted around the room, shuddering as her eyes landed on all the tubes sticking out from Faith’s body, the way her throat was wrapped with gauze.
“I wish you could talk to me. Even if it was just to tell me how much I failed to keep you safe. And yes, I know now would be the time for you to slap me upside the head and tell me to stop being stupid, but I can’t help but feel responsible. I mean look at you…”
Her throat constricted and Buffy closed her eyes for a second to resist the tears eager to escape. The hard tiled floor bit into her knees when she sank to them, but it didn’t matter, and now she couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears. They slid down her cheek to soak the hand she was pressing to her cheek, and all the while she choked back the sobs. It wouldn’t do to call attention to her trespassing.
“C-come on, Faith. W-wake up,” she whispered.
Her heart clenched when she felt a slight pressure of Faith’s fingers, and her eyes flew to her face. Hope flared up deep in her stomach, and she half expected to see Faith looking back at her. She didn’t. Not even a twitch.
“F-faith?”
Nothing.
And as soon as the hope appeared, now it shriveled up and died.
The machines beeped loudly in the silence, and Buffy let the hand slip out of hers as she stood up. She shouldn’t have let the emotions get better of her. Rationally, she knew it happened. Patients in a coma had spasms and their fingers moved even if they never woke up. She knew it, yet it still hurt to realize it had been a false alarm.
She leaned in and kissed Faith on the cheek before she straightened up and sneaked out of the room.
*******
Spike knew she was there before he walked into the corridor. He could feel her presence pulse beneath his skin more and more as he lengthened his steps. The debris from the door Buffy had kicked in still littered the floor, and he nudged it with the tip of his boot before raising his eyes to meet hers.
“What do you want?” he asked impatiently.
Drusilla had the nerve to actually pout as she rose from the bloodied bed. Obviously, torturing him didn’t bother her at all. Or hurting him via Buffy. Just like he knew it wouldn’t. It was all a big game to her, wasn’t it? Guilt was a foreign concept.
“You’re cross with me.”
“Well, yeah. Went a bit too far this time, don’t you think?”
“She deserved it,” Dru said dreamily, a twisted smile flitting across her face. “Nasty little slayers don’t get to take my prince away.”
He sighed. “Not yours. Never have been.”
Dru hugged herself and turned away from him. “I know.”
“Why are you here? You should go.”
She clutched at her stomach and moaned. “I’m all alone. Grandma’s gone and you don’t want me.”
“Dru…”
She spun around to look at him, her eyes wide and confused. “Where did Grandma go, Spike?”
He was pretty sure Darla was dead of the non-walking variety since the part inside him where the connection with her had been was now gone. What was he supposed to tell Dru? Could her feeble mind even grasp the concept?
“She’s… dead, Dru. Weren’t you there?”
“But who’s going to take care of me?”
Her shoulders shook as she doubled over, dark hair hiding her face. His feet both refused to move and itched to do just that. Comfort was the last thing she deserved, but he couldn’t help but feel for her. Drusilla wasn’t independent and strong. She needed the others to look after her and now she was on her own for the first time since she’d been turned.
She started to laugh and slid to her knees, the long silly dress pooling around her. Still wary, Spike crossed the room and knelt down next to her. The laughter died in her throat as she noticed him, and she buried her face in the bloodied sheets.
“Sugar and limes and pretty pain.” Drusilla traced a nail down his arm. “You’re all better now.”
“Yeah, pet, I am.”
“You don’t want me here. Only want your sunshine.”
“I don’t think Buffy would be all too keen on you staying around. I don’t want to hurt you… you’re my Sire, but… if it went down to choosing between the two of you, I’d choose her,” he said. “You should go somewhere pretty, yeah? Maybe France or Greece.”
“I don’t like French people. They taste like frogs.” Her eyes lit up. “Do you think I should go find Daddy?”
“Whatever you want, pet.” Spike still had no idea what the deal with Angelus was and frankly, he really didn’t want to know. But if meant Dru would be leaving the country then he was all for it. After all, she was all the family he had left and he wasn’t as heartless as to want to kill her. He’d do it of course, if it meant Buffy was in danger, but he couldn’t really drive a stake into her heart when she was sitting next to him looking like someone had stolen all her favourite dolls.
“You can’t be like him. Not even for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“The wicked sparkle that took him away. It would burn you, my Spike. Until there’s nothing left.”
He frowned but played along. When Drusilla started to babble it was best to just go along with it. “Okay, no sparkle. Promise.”
She nodded seriously and leaned in to kiss his cheek before she gracefully rose to her feet and sauntered to the doorway. Spike watched her and their eyes met when she glanced over her shoulder.
“Goodbye.”
He smiled faintly as she melted away into the darkness of the corridor, her steps soundless even to his enhanced hearing.
With a groan, he dropped his back to rest against the mattress and hoped he did the right thing by letting her go.
*******
It was around four o’clock when Buffy made it home and didn’t really expect to find Spike there. He’d said something about getting his stuff and finding a new place to live. Hopefully, it would be in a better part of town. Not that she planned to be there often, but it would be nice for him to have an apartment where cockroaches weren’t inevitable. Granted, she didn’t see any at Spike’s place but she wouldn’t be surprised if she did.
Giles said he’d come home tonight and refused to have her come back for him even after half an hour of her nagging. Apparently, he felt his masculinity would be threatened if she rode in a cab with him so she agreed under the condition of greeting him with a home made meal. He’d fiddled with the covers and told her she should just order a pizza without meeting her eyes.
Like she would burn the house down? She wasn’t that bad a cook! Okay, maybe she was but still, a little belief in her culinary skills would have been welcome.
The phone in her pocket started to ring and she rolled over to snatch it. An unknown number. With a frown she picked up the call and pressed the cell phone to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Hello, luv.”
“Spike?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Just thought I’d call you.”
“How did you get my number?”
“I kinda… umm… I looked it up in your phone. Are you mad?”
“No, of course not. I’m very much with the glad… just a bit surprised.”
“Oh, okay then,” he said, obviously relieved. “I found a new flat.”
“You did? What’s it like?” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger.
“I’ll take you there anytime if you want. Show my girl around.” He fell silent and she could practically feel his nerves.
“I’d love to.”
“You would?”
“There aren’t any cockroaches, right?”
He chuckled, the deep sound washing over. “No nasties except yours truly. It’s quite posh actually.”
The self satisfaction was clear in his voice and she couldn’t help but tease him, “Is it really? Do you have a big screen television in there too?”
“Well, actually… yeah, I do. You should see it, it’s huge and… wait, are you making fun of me?”
She laughed. “Just a little. I love your enthusiasm though.”
“The telly isn’t the only cool thing here.” And now she could feel him giving her a sly smile. “I bought new silk sheets. I’m actually testing them right now. Mmm… but if you’re gonna visit I should probably get dressed before giving you the tour.”
The phone almost fell from her fingers. “Y-you’re naked?”
“A bloke has to sleep naked in those, otherwise what would be the point?” His voice turned teasing. “Are you blushing?”
“No!”
“Liar.”
“You don’t know that,” she said petulantly and snuggled against her pillow.
“Oh, but I do. I can almost see your red cheeks. Wish I was there so I could kiss them.”
She hid her face in the pillow. “But you’re all naked.”
“Well, if you mind I can always kiss if you when I’m dressed and… you’re all naked.”
She gasped. “Y-you’re just so… mind in the guttery.”
He laughed and she smiled at the sound.
“But it would be fun.”
“No it wouldn’t. Well, not for you anyway.” And she really did not just say that.
“Oh, but it would. I would get off on you getting off.”
She squeaked. “No getting off talk, please.”
“But I just like making you all flustered. Hmm… wish you were here so I could touch you. Do you know how smooth your skin is? And the way you move against me when I kiss you… those little sounds. Driving me crazy, you are.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You’re not sorry at all, are you? Minx. You make my head spin with the way you kiss me. You always have.”
“You’re not the only one. I-I… like kissing you.”
His voice was deep and sultry when he asked her, “When’s the Watcher coming home?”
“In an hour or two. Why?”
“See you soon, kitten.”
“See me soon? What…” The line went dead. “Spike?”
TBC
A/N: I'll try to update asap. Wouldn't want to leave you hanging for long. :)
Speaking of betas... thank you dawnofme and Mabel Marsters for your help!
Pretty banner by xaphania
Chapter 32
Buffy’s stomach clenched at the stench of sickness and fear that permeated the hospital. The smells were what she hated most about such a clinical place. She crinkled her nose and determined to ignore the depressing atmosphere, she pressed her lips together as she walked towards the reception. The rubber floor squeaked under her sneakers.
“Hi, I’ve come to see Faith Lehane and Rupert Giles.”
The receptionist glanced away from the computer screen and gave her a professional smile. Somehow, Buffy would have preferred a scowl or a sigh of annoyance. At least that would have been sincere.
“Wait a second, Miss…”
“Summers. Buffy Summers.” She crossed her arms across her chest.
“Right, Miss Summers. Go sit in the waiting room, and I’ll let you know if you can go in.”
“But it’s visiting hours now. Why can’t you just tell me what rooms they’re in, and I won’t bother you anymore?”
“The doctors might be doing some tests. I’ll have to check-” The telephone rang. “Hold on.”
Buffy leaned against the counter and propped up her chin on her upturned palm. The woman set the phone down and turned her attention towards Buffy again, the indifferent professional smile firmly in place before she scanned the computer screen with her eyes.
“Mr. Giles is in 135.”
“Thank you. And Faith Lehane?”
“She’s in the intensive care. You’re not permitted to see her right now.”
Buffy was about to argue when a nurse called out, “Maggie, do you want me to bring you a cup of coffee from the machine?”
The receptionist turned away from Buffy and answered, “Thanks, but I don’t want to bother you. I’ll grab it myself.”
Without another word, Maggie stood up and walked over the coffee machine, trading a few words with the nurse. An insane idea came to Buffy and before she could talk herself out of it, she quickly leaned over the counter and scanned the computer screen for Faith’s name. Her heart was pounding when she backed away from the counter, Maggie already turning around to head back to the desk.
Buffy let out a relieved breath and hurried towards the elevator.
*******
Buffy saw a nurse leave Faith’s room with a clipboard tucked under her arm and Buffy waited until she disappeared in a room down the corridor. Holding her breath, Buffy slipped into Faith’s room and approached the bed.
For a moment, the sight halted her steps but she shook herself out of it and crossed the distance to take Faith’s pale limp hand into hers. She was almost afraid to touch her, afraid that the slightest pressure would hurt her. Seeing Faith so still and weak unsettled her.
“Hi. I don’t know if you can hear me, and to be honest I feel kind of stupid talking to myself here but… wake up already, okay? I miss you. I know it’s been just two days and you’d probably tell me to stop freaking out, but I can’t help it.”
She brushed the strand of dark hair off her forehead. “Giles is fine. I’ve just seen him, and he’s eager to get out of the ‘bloody’ hospital. I think the nurse that’s been taking care of him has a crush on him and it’s wigging him out big time.” Buffy cracked a smile, her thumb massaging Faith’s wrist. “He’s coming home tonight.”
“It will be so empty without you in the house so stop being lazy and wake up already.”
Buffy’s eyes darted around the room, shuddering as her eyes landed on all the tubes sticking out from Faith’s body, the way her throat was wrapped with gauze.
“I wish you could talk to me. Even if it was just to tell me how much I failed to keep you safe. And yes, I know now would be the time for you to slap me upside the head and tell me to stop being stupid, but I can’t help but feel responsible. I mean look at you…”
Her throat constricted and Buffy closed her eyes for a second to resist the tears eager to escape. The hard tiled floor bit into her knees when she sank to them, but it didn’t matter, and now she couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears. They slid down her cheek to soak the hand she was pressing to her cheek, and all the while she choked back the sobs. It wouldn’t do to call attention to her trespassing.
“C-come on, Faith. W-wake up,” she whispered.
Her heart clenched when she felt a slight pressure of Faith’s fingers, and her eyes flew to her face. Hope flared up deep in her stomach, and she half expected to see Faith looking back at her. She didn’t. Not even a twitch.
“F-faith?”
Nothing.
And as soon as the hope appeared, now it shriveled up and died.
The machines beeped loudly in the silence, and Buffy let the hand slip out of hers as she stood up. She shouldn’t have let the emotions get better of her. Rationally, she knew it happened. Patients in a coma had spasms and their fingers moved even if they never woke up. She knew it, yet it still hurt to realize it had been a false alarm.
She leaned in and kissed Faith on the cheek before she straightened up and sneaked out of the room.
*******
Spike knew she was there before he walked into the corridor. He could feel her presence pulse beneath his skin more and more as he lengthened his steps. The debris from the door Buffy had kicked in still littered the floor, and he nudged it with the tip of his boot before raising his eyes to meet hers.
“What do you want?” he asked impatiently.
Drusilla had the nerve to actually pout as she rose from the bloodied bed. Obviously, torturing him didn’t bother her at all. Or hurting him via Buffy. Just like he knew it wouldn’t. It was all a big game to her, wasn’t it? Guilt was a foreign concept.
“You’re cross with me.”
“Well, yeah. Went a bit too far this time, don’t you think?”
“She deserved it,” Dru said dreamily, a twisted smile flitting across her face. “Nasty little slayers don’t get to take my prince away.”
He sighed. “Not yours. Never have been.”
Dru hugged herself and turned away from him. “I know.”
“Why are you here? You should go.”
She clutched at her stomach and moaned. “I’m all alone. Grandma’s gone and you don’t want me.”
“Dru…”
She spun around to look at him, her eyes wide and confused. “Where did Grandma go, Spike?”
He was pretty sure Darla was dead of the non-walking variety since the part inside him where the connection with her had been was now gone. What was he supposed to tell Dru? Could her feeble mind even grasp the concept?
“She’s… dead, Dru. Weren’t you there?”
“But who’s going to take care of me?”
Her shoulders shook as she doubled over, dark hair hiding her face. His feet both refused to move and itched to do just that. Comfort was the last thing she deserved, but he couldn’t help but feel for her. Drusilla wasn’t independent and strong. She needed the others to look after her and now she was on her own for the first time since she’d been turned.
She started to laugh and slid to her knees, the long silly dress pooling around her. Still wary, Spike crossed the room and knelt down next to her. The laughter died in her throat as she noticed him, and she buried her face in the bloodied sheets.
“Sugar and limes and pretty pain.” Drusilla traced a nail down his arm. “You’re all better now.”
“Yeah, pet, I am.”
“You don’t want me here. Only want your sunshine.”
“I don’t think Buffy would be all too keen on you staying around. I don’t want to hurt you… you’re my Sire, but… if it went down to choosing between the two of you, I’d choose her,” he said. “You should go somewhere pretty, yeah? Maybe France or Greece.”
“I don’t like French people. They taste like frogs.” Her eyes lit up. “Do you think I should go find Daddy?”
“Whatever you want, pet.” Spike still had no idea what the deal with Angelus was and frankly, he really didn’t want to know. But if meant Dru would be leaving the country then he was all for it. After all, she was all the family he had left and he wasn’t as heartless as to want to kill her. He’d do it of course, if it meant Buffy was in danger, but he couldn’t really drive a stake into her heart when she was sitting next to him looking like someone had stolen all her favourite dolls.
“You can’t be like him. Not even for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“The wicked sparkle that took him away. It would burn you, my Spike. Until there’s nothing left.”
He frowned but played along. When Drusilla started to babble it was best to just go along with it. “Okay, no sparkle. Promise.”
She nodded seriously and leaned in to kiss his cheek before she gracefully rose to her feet and sauntered to the doorway. Spike watched her and their eyes met when she glanced over her shoulder.
“Goodbye.”
He smiled faintly as she melted away into the darkness of the corridor, her steps soundless even to his enhanced hearing.
With a groan, he dropped his back to rest against the mattress and hoped he did the right thing by letting her go.
*******
It was around four o’clock when Buffy made it home and didn’t really expect to find Spike there. He’d said something about getting his stuff and finding a new place to live. Hopefully, it would be in a better part of town. Not that she planned to be there often, but it would be nice for him to have an apartment where cockroaches weren’t inevitable. Granted, she didn’t see any at Spike’s place but she wouldn’t be surprised if she did.
Giles said he’d come home tonight and refused to have her come back for him even after half an hour of her nagging. Apparently, he felt his masculinity would be threatened if she rode in a cab with him so she agreed under the condition of greeting him with a home made meal. He’d fiddled with the covers and told her she should just order a pizza without meeting her eyes.
Like she would burn the house down? She wasn’t that bad a cook! Okay, maybe she was but still, a little belief in her culinary skills would have been welcome.
The phone in her pocket started to ring and she rolled over to snatch it. An unknown number. With a frown she picked up the call and pressed the cell phone to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Hello, luv.”
“Spike?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Just thought I’d call you.”
“How did you get my number?”
“I kinda… umm… I looked it up in your phone. Are you mad?”
“No, of course not. I’m very much with the glad… just a bit surprised.”
“Oh, okay then,” he said, obviously relieved. “I found a new flat.”
“You did? What’s it like?” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger.
“I’ll take you there anytime if you want. Show my girl around.” He fell silent and she could practically feel his nerves.
“I’d love to.”
“You would?”
“There aren’t any cockroaches, right?”
He chuckled, the deep sound washing over. “No nasties except yours truly. It’s quite posh actually.”
The self satisfaction was clear in his voice and she couldn’t help but tease him, “Is it really? Do you have a big screen television in there too?”
“Well, actually… yeah, I do. You should see it, it’s huge and… wait, are you making fun of me?”
She laughed. “Just a little. I love your enthusiasm though.”
“The telly isn’t the only cool thing here.” And now she could feel him giving her a sly smile. “I bought new silk sheets. I’m actually testing them right now. Mmm… but if you’re gonna visit I should probably get dressed before giving you the tour.”
The phone almost fell from her fingers. “Y-you’re naked?”
“A bloke has to sleep naked in those, otherwise what would be the point?” His voice turned teasing. “Are you blushing?”
“No!”
“Liar.”
“You don’t know that,” she said petulantly and snuggled against her pillow.
“Oh, but I do. I can almost see your red cheeks. Wish I was there so I could kiss them.”
She hid her face in the pillow. “But you’re all naked.”
“Well, if you mind I can always kiss if you when I’m dressed and… you’re all naked.”
She gasped. “Y-you’re just so… mind in the guttery.”
He laughed and she smiled at the sound.
“But it would be fun.”
“No it wouldn’t. Well, not for you anyway.” And she really did not just say that.
“Oh, but it would. I would get off on you getting off.”
She squeaked. “No getting off talk, please.”
“But I just like making you all flustered. Hmm… wish you were here so I could touch you. Do you know how smooth your skin is? And the way you move against me when I kiss you… those little sounds. Driving me crazy, you are.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You’re not sorry at all, are you? Minx. You make my head spin with the way you kiss me. You always have.”
“You’re not the only one. I-I… like kissing you.”
His voice was deep and sultry when he asked her, “When’s the Watcher coming home?”
“In an hour or two. Why?”
“See you soon, kitten.”
“See me soon? What…” The line went dead. “Spike?”
TBC
A/N: I'll try to update asap. Wouldn't want to leave you hanging for long. :)
Chapter thirty-three
Thank you xaphania for being so incredible and making me this awesome banner!
Chapter 33
What did he mean by ‘see you soon’? Was he actually coming to see her right now? He wouldn’t come naked and only covered by his duster, would he? Her hair was a mess!
Buffy scrambled from the bed and dashed to bathroom, frantically took the shower head into her hands and turned on the water. Rinse. A snick as she opened the bottle of shampoo. Her fingers flew over her scalp as she massaged it in. Rinse again
Toweling her hair dry, Buffy entered her bedroom and started.
“Spike! How did you… When?”
He stalked to her and smirked. “Just now. You left your window unlocked.”
She backed away, feeling like prey with the way his eyes were devouring her. “So you just entered?”
His eyes clouded with doubt and he ducked his head. The change of his emotions was making her dizzy and the vulnerability, despite his confidence, made her want him even more.
“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have… I just… I so badly need to kiss you.”
Was there a reason why he shouldn’t? Nothing came to mind. She smiled shyly and he was embracing her the next moment, his lips smashed against hers in a blaze of raw need. Her knees almost buckled, but his arms were locked tight around her waist, keeping her safe, stroking the fire even higher. The towel from her head dropped to the floor.
Her demanding fingers dipped beneath the hem of his tight t-shirt to find purchase on his skin, the taut muscles of his back shifting and moving under her touch. Spike moaned into her mouth, the husky sound reverberating all the way to her core. Their kiss turned hard and possessive, their lips battled, tongues slid together, teeth nipped. Buffy could taste the metallic hint of blood but wasn’t sure if it was his or hers. None of it mattered. She raked her fingers through his hair, gripped it to pull him closer.
In turn, Spike dragged his hands down to her hips and molded her into him, slipping one hand up her thigh to hook it around his hip. There wasn’t an inch of space between them but it wasn’t enough. The fast rush of her blood demanded more.
“Need you.” She managed to breathe in between the kisses as Spike lifted her into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist automatically.
He dropped her down on the bed and she bounced a couple of times on the soft mattress before he covered her with his body. Nothing had ever felt this right. Nothing could drive her more mindless than having him lying atop her, his hands moving beneath her t-shirt and up her ribcage to caress the underside of her breasts.
She barely had a second to gulp in oxygen before he returned to her lips. The need inside her pulsed faster, her heart pounded as he whipped the t-shirt over her head and traced her neck with his moist lips.
“God, Buffy.” He kissed the tops of her breasts and gazed up at her with dark eyes.
No words would come out of her mouth so she arched her back and tightened her legs around his waist. When she did this, his eyes rolled up and he ground his hips against hers before turning his attention back to her breasts. He reached around her and undid the clasp of her bra, tugging it impatiently out of the way so he could go back to exploring every uncovered inch of her flesh.
Stars exploded behind her eyelids when he took a nipple between his lips and sucked. Her hands flew into his hair to hold him in place as he massaged her breasts. If he didn’t do something—anything—soon, she’s simply die. Burn alive with the uncontrollable fire rushing through her veins.
“Please… please…”
“Please what, luv?” His voice was ragged and breathy but he still managed to leer.
She couldn’t find it in herself to complain when he slipped one of his hands into her shorts and tugged at her nipple with his teeth at the same time. His fingers slid smoothly across her flesh, gathering the wetness to circle her clit.
When he leaned away from her, her mind struggled to process the loss of contact. Before she could ask him what was wrong he dropped to his knees and took off both her shorts and her underwear, tossing them on the floor. Spike didn’t give her any time to be embarrassed or even try to resist what they both knew she wanted as he spread her legs.
He smiled at her gently and kissed his way up her inner thighs, teasing her mercilessly with his gentle touch.
“So beautiful.” He pressed his lips against her slit and she couldn’t do anything but gasp.
Nothing had ever felt this good. Then he sneaked out his tongue to lick her, wrapped his lips around her swollen clit and sucked. The overwhelming feeling of pleasure was too much and he didn’t stop. He just kept on suckling and her breath quickened, her hips bucked but he held them down and she felt as if she could start flying at any moment. His tongue flickered and teased, driving her crazy.
Her mouth felt dry from all the panting but she couldn’t care less because she was all too near the point of no return and his hands were gripping her thighs hard enough to hurt just a bit which made her even more aroused. Her eyes demanded to be closed but she couldn’t look away from the dark desire and sheer love shining from his eyes as he gazed up at her from between her thighs. The sight was too decadent, almost enough to throw her over the edge.
He dipped his tongue inside her, thrusting as far as he could and his thumb stroked her clit. So close. Just a few more strokes and she would…
He stopped and shot to his feet. Disoriented, Buffy looked up at him as he threw a quilt over her and took her discarded clothes from the floor before crawling under the bed.
Someone knocked on the door and her eyes widened. She frantically pulled the cover closer under her chin before calling out, “C-come in!”
Giles entered her bedroom. “Buffy…. I was discharged earlier so I wanted to let you know.”
“Giles! Hi! A-are you okay?”
He smiled. “I’m fine. I’ll go order the pizza and we can talk.”
“S-sounds great. I’ll be out in a minute. Just need to… eh… freshen up.”
“Alright. I’ll be in the living room.”
The door closed and Buffy collapsed on her back with a groan, her whole body still throbbing from Spike’s touch.
He rolled out from beneath the bed and stood up. With a rueful smile, he rubbed the back of his neck and handed her the clothes.
“You want me to finish what I started?”
She blushed and desperately wanted to say yes until she imagined Giles entering her bedroom to find out what toppings she wanted on her pizza and finding her getting eaten by a vampire. And not in the conventional way either.
“Can’t. I’m sorry.”
“No, I get it.” He leaned down to kiss her, the contact heated and desperate even if the kiss was short. “The Watcher really knows how to spoil the moment.”
Buffy smiled and caressed his cheek before he stood up. “Maybe… umm… next time?”
“Count on it.” He shot her a lustful glance and climbed out of the window.
Cold water was what she needed. Buffy stood up but her knees buckled and she fell back on the bed.
'Damn your timing, Giles.'
*******
She found him sitting on the stool next to the kitchen counter, a glass with what looked suspiciously like whisky in his hand.
“Hi,” she said. “You know, you should have told me you were coming sooner. I would have waited for you, ordered food.”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a hint of a smile. “Don’t worry yourself over me.”
Her legs still trembled from Spike’s attentions so she sank on the couch. Twisting around, Buffy folded her hands on top of the backrest and propped her chin on them.
“Of course I worry.”
He took a sip from the glass and glanced at her briefly. “Buffy… I’m sorry.”
“What? Why would you be sorry?”
“Well, I think it is fairly safe to say that if it wasn’t for me, none of this would have happened.”
“It was nobody’s fault. Drusilla has thrall. You couldn’t do anything against that and… if someone’s responsible, it’s me. I’m the Slayer, Giles. Not you. Not Faith. I’m the one that should have protected you.”
“If it weren’t for you, we’d all be dead.” He took off his glasses and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “Do you have any news about Faith? Is she…?”
“The same. But she’ll be fine… she has to be.”
*******
Spike was restless. It wasn’t anything new, but he hated being cooped up inside because the sun was still up and he couldn’t fall asleep. Calling Buffy on the phone to chase away the boredom was off limits too since she was at school. He’d already texted her his new address, just in case she’d want to stop by sometimes. Not necessarily today if she didn’t want to. Even if he couldn’t think of anything else but kissing her breathless or christening every sturdy surface around in a way that left him feeling more than a little uncomfortable in his tight jeans.
With a sigh, he stood up and grabbed a vacuum cleaner.
Two hours later, the wooden floors of his new studio apartment were so clean one could eat off them, the bathroom practically shone and all the furniture had been moved twice. Now Spike sat on the large dark green sofa and tapped his fingers against his bouncing knee.
Maybe he should redecorate again. Would Buffy like it? What if she hated his apartment and refused to spend time there?
'Alright now you’re just being bloody stupid, you git.'
The whole place was neat, he had to admit. And what he was sure Buffy would appreciate, he came by it in a legitimate way. He rented it from a demon who worked as a solicitor, fair and square.
The apartment was practically an open space, except for the bedroom which was located in the loft. It was done in red, black and white, but he thought he should get more bright colours such as green and yellow for the living room. Buffy liked bright colours.
God, but he was bored out of his mind and he’d already run out of cigarettes. He reached for the remote and surfed through the channels, stretching out his legs in front of him in effort to get comfortable. He’d barely glanced at the flickering plasma screen when an idea occurred to him.
He could help Buffy. Having her best friend in a coma put a lot of strain on her and maybe, just maybe he could help.
Spike rolled over and snatched his phone, searching through the contacts to locate the number of a woman who dabbled with white magic. He’d stumbled upon her one night after he’d been almost killed in one of his reckless attempts at taking on several demons that were twice his size. The witch had found him in an alley, dragged him to a little shop of hers and gave him some sort of concoction that sped up his healing. He didn’t know why she’d helped him but he was glad he kept her phone number.
There probably wasn’t anything she could do for a coma patient, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?
With a determined face, Spike pressed the call button and waited for someone to pick it up.
TBC
A/N: Uh-oh, what kind of plan is Spike cooking up?? And also, do you hate me for leaving Buffy... hanging? ;)
Chapter thirty-four
A/N: Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Gorgeous banner by xaphania.
Chapter 34
As soon as Spike entered the hospital, all the foul odors assaulted him and he was glad he didn’t need to breathe. The underlying smell of blood didn’t help his mood either and he bit back the hunger. All the grand plans he’d made to help Buffy’s friend didn’t include the information on where exactly Faith was. That was when luck stepped in, saving him from trying to charm the frigid looking nurse at the station into divulging the information.
“Did you do the check up on Miss Lehane today?”
As soon as the name drifted to Spike’s ears, he inconspicuously approached the doctor and nurse that were discussing Faith’s situation.
The doctor sighed. “Yes. There are no signs of improvement, and the longer she stays in the coma, the lesser is the chance of her making it out undamaged.”
“Her sister and father were here earlier today. They seem like such nice people. I just feel sorry for them,” the nurse said and glanced down at her clipboard. “Well, I better get moving. I need to replace Miss Lehane’s IV bag.”
Spike tuned out the ending of their conversation and followed the nurse, being careful to keep some distance so she wouldn’t notice. Being a vampire proved to be useful at sneaking around and avoiding any unwanted attention. He waited for the nurse to leave the room before he slipped in.
Faith was white as a sheet, and for a moment he thought it wasn’t her and he’d gotten the wrong room after all. But then he got closer and studied the familiar features, shocked to discover it was indeed the girl he remembered from school as being fearless and shameless. It was hard to recognize her without the make-up and an impish smile.
He reached his hand into the pocket of his duster and closed his fingers around a small vial before drawing it out. The violet fluid sloshed around as he uncorked it and sniffed the contents. It didn’t smell bad.
The witch had told him to inject it into the IV bag so it would get straight into Faith’s bloodstream. He frowned; not really believing such a small amount could do anything to help, but pulled a needle out of his pocket anyway. The healing potion concentrated on connecting the mind with the body. It brought inner strength to the surface, the witch had said as she glanced at him from beneath the curtain of her honey blonde hair, those doe like eyes full of sincerity.
Magic wasn’t something he trusted, but hearing the earlier conversation solidified his decision to do this.
Faith had nothing to lose.
Either it worked or she’d just stay a vegetable. With a decisive nod, Spike grasped the syringe with a needle attached to it and pulled the cap off. Then he stuck the needle into the vial and pulled the violet liquid into it. He tapped the needle a few times and pressed to squeeze the air out of it, which was followed by a small stream erupting from the tip.
After stepping closer the bed, Spike stuck the needle into valve on the IV bag and depressed the plunger, watching as the violet liquid blended in with the transparent IV before it disappeared into her vein. For a moment, his eyes zeroed in on the heartbeat throbbing beneath the skin of her inner arm, his mouth turning dry at the sound of blood being pumped.
Faith didn’t stir.
Spike’s sensitive hearing picked up voices and he quickly left the room, hoping the potion would work.
*******
Buffy was having the worst day ever. Their math professor decided it would be nice to give the students a surprise test to see how they were grasping the current material. Needless to say, Buffy presented the teacher with a blank paper, earning herself a stern look of disapproval.
So she didn’t have the time to study. It was pretty understandable with all that was going on in her life right now. But fate seemed to be laughing at her misfortune and things only got worse when she and Giles went to visit Faith. Not only was she the same, but Buffy spilled a cup of coffee all over her favourite top.
Now she was taking it off and scowled at the also ruined bra. With a growl she tossed them into the washing machine and put on a black tank top. Black was exactly the colour to match her mood.
Finally glad she was potentially safe of any disasters, Buffy trudged into the living room, collapsed on the sofa with a sigh and turned on the TV. That was the moment Giles called out from the kitchen.
“Buffy? You’ve got a call!”
She frowned and went to take it from Giles’ grasp, voicing a silent question with her eyes. Who could possibly be calling her? He just shrugged and disappeared into his study.
“Hello?”
“Buffy? Is that really you?”
The phone just about fell from her suddenly sweaty grasp. “Mom?”
“Oh, Buffy! I found you. I was so worried when I couldn’t reach you at the school and then I was told it had been closed. Where are you? And who’s this Rupert Giles?”
Buffy slid down the wall and clutched the phone closer to her ear, her eyes overflowing with tears. “M-mom?”
“Are you okay? Tell me what happen-” Her voice cut off suddenly and all Buffy could hear was heavy breathing.
“What’s wrong? Are you still there? Mom?”
“I-I have to go,” she whispered and before Buffy could reply, the line went dead.
After a few minutes she managed to stand up and hang up the phone with trembling hands. Her mother had found her. How? Why now? And why despite everything she’d done to Buffy, all the times she’d hurt her with words and lack of action in the face of Ted’s abuse, all Buffy could think of was wishing she could hug her? She so desperately wanted to stay angry but she knew that if her mother asked, Buffy would forgive her.
And what had happened to make her mother hang up? Was it Ted? Did he… Buffy didn’t want to think about it. She tried before, to have her mother see sense and leave, but she couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped.
'Oh yes, this day is definitely getting better and better.'
*******
Later that night, Buffy tossed a biology textbook on the floor, glad that Giles wasn’t nearby to scold her for the inappropriate treatment of books. She couldn’t concentrate, her mind whirled too fast so she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.
“Yeah?”
Buffy propped herself against the headboard, her voice shaking as she said, “Hi.”
“How are you doing? Getting a break from studying for the bio exam?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but hearing his deep comforting voice did nothing but add to the lump growing in her throat. Embarrassed, she realized she’d probably start crying and contemplated hanging up on him so he wouldn’t know. But she so badly needed someone to tell her all would be okay.
“Luv? You there?”
She squeezed her eyes shut and took in a shuddering breath, wiping uselessly at the tears falling down her cheeks. She tried to reply him again, but all that came out of her mouth was a strangled sob.
“What’s wrong? Buffy? Are you crying?”
She pressed her lips together before letting out a breath so she could speak. “N-no.”
“Yes, you are… Did something happen? Do you want me to come?”
The dam threatened to burst open at his kind words, the concern in his voice too much to bear as all the events of the horrible day cumulated together, but she held it back. Barely.
“N-no, it’s… fine. Just n-needed to… hear you.”
“I’ll stop by, yeah? You know I can’t stand it when you cry. You’re killing me here.”
“P-please don’t. I’m just being… silly.” She sniffed. “I had a day from hell, t-that’s all.”
“If you don’t want me to come, then at least… come see me instead. You know the address. I’ll make you tea and you can tell me what bugger made my girl sad so I can give them a piece of my mind.”
The chauvinistic display of testosterone actually made her feel a bit better even if she prided herself on being independent.
“Tomorrow. Can I come tomorrow?”
“You don’t have to ask. Skip the exam and visit.”
She laughed a little. “You’re a bad influence.”
“I prefer to think of it as a good influence. Remember that time when you made me sneak into the kitchens with you? Now that was bad. We almost got caught by that old cow.”
“But we had fun, didn’t we?”
“Course. God, you could have talked me into doing anything for you. You still can.”
Buffy opened the drawer of her nightstand and pulled out a handkerchief. Then she blew her nose. Loudly. On the other end of the line, she heard Spike chuckle.
“Do you feel a bit better now?”
“A little.”
“Wanna tell me what happened today?”
If she began talking about it she’d just end up crying like a baby. “I’ll tell you later, okay?”
“Whenever you want,” he said kindly and fell silent for a moment before he whispered, “I love you.”
She froze even as the words blanketed her with warmth. Even with the distance, the tension as he waited for her to say something was suffocating and she panicked.
“Umm... I-I… gotta go.” She quickly disconnected the call.
Her heart pounded against her ribcage and as she dropped the phone on the bedspread, overwhelming feeling of guilt stretched in her chest. 'Gotta go?' Was that really all she said? She should have told him how she felt! Now he probably sat or stood there, staring at the phone, feeling as if she stomped all over his heart. Buffy knew without a shadow of any doubt that there was still William sheltered inside and she knew him well. Knew how insecure he was, how every little word or lack of it could cut him deeply.
She had to see him, had to tell him because she couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him.
Swiftly rising from the bed, Buffy kicked off her sweats and yanked a pair of jeans up her legs before snatching a jacket and running out the house.
*******
Spike was just striding down a small park near his home when the phone rang. When he realized it was a very upset Buffy calling him, he’d gotten so distracted he forgot why he was out in the first place. Then --the naïve fool he was-- the confession of love was passing his lips before he could think otherwise and he’d be damned twice if the whole thing hadn’t blown up in his face.
He had promised himself to keep his mouth shut about the feelings inside until he was sure she felt the same now that they had gotten closer. But could she ever? Things were different. He was a vampire and she the Slayer. How could he possibly think there was a chance she’d love him like she used to? He was a monster and she may have forgiven him, even shown him acceptance but her reply and disconnecting the call told him everything he needed to know.
Buffy didn’t love him. Not anymore.
His face twisted into a grimace as the tears burned the back of his eyelids, but he clenched his jaw and inhaled harshly through his nostrils to keep them at bay. He wouldn’t cry, it wasn’t who he was now. For the hundredth time, it occurred to him that Dru and Darla had turned him wrong. Why couldn’t he just turn the humanity off like a badly tuned radio?
A curse echoed somewhere off to his side, carrying to his sensitive hearing even through the thick trees separating the two sidewalks. He spun around, his face melting to that of the demon. Someone was there. Someone human, their blood pumping hot and rich beneath their supple skin.
His stomach growled.
Immediately, Spike melted into the shadows as he weaved around the trees, the hunger that had been plaguing him all day quickening his steps. There she was. His prey. The young woman’s nervous eyes darted around and she adjusted the straps of her purse as they slipped down her shoulder, the heels of her shoes clicking loudly on the concrete in the empty park.
His excitement rose with each passing step, the demon in him restless as he drew near and she tossed a worried glance over her shoulder. This was the moment he loved the most, the anticipation before he sank his teeth into their struggling bodies. He could almost smell her perfume now, something sweet and flowery.
Sensing his presence on a deep primal level even if she couldn’t see him yet, the woman lengthened her steps as much as she could wearing high heels and a tight pencil skirt. In her haste, the heel of her shoe got stuck in the crack of the pavement and she stumbled, falling down on her hands and knees. The smell of blood permeated the air around, making the saliva rush into his mouth.
Before she could stand up, he leaped from the shadows and tackled her to the ground. They rolled around until Spike ended on top, straddling her hips. The woman opened her mouth to scream but he slammed a hand on her mouth to muffle the sound, ignoring her clawing fingers.
“Shhh, none of that. If you’re silent, I’ll let you live.”
He’d let her live anyway but she didn’t need to know that. The way her eyes widened in fear caused a grin to stretch across his face and almost pushed him past the line of self control. She ceased her struggles and he locked his hand around her wrist before bringing it to his lips.
He bit hard and deep, loved how the skin broke beneath his fangs before she gasped against his palm as he greedily drew a mouthful of blood. It was warm and nothing could ever compare to the feeling as the life slid down his throat to silence the demon within. This was what he needed, the rush of it, the invigorating sense of being alive.
Spike hadn’t even realized how truly starved he was until he heard the slowing heartbeat of the woman beneath him and he pulled his fangs out of her wrist, staring up at her heavy lidded eyes. Small droplets of rain fell down and splashed against his nose.
That he heard it. A gasp. A litany of denial from the lips he’d kissed not so long ago. He knew it was her even before he turned around and saw her pale face, the disbelief in her eyes as she glimpsed the blood still trickling down his fangs.
TBC
A/N: Mwahaha!
Gorgeous banner by xaphania.
Chapter 34
As soon as Spike entered the hospital, all the foul odors assaulted him and he was glad he didn’t need to breathe. The underlying smell of blood didn’t help his mood either and he bit back the hunger. All the grand plans he’d made to help Buffy’s friend didn’t include the information on where exactly Faith was. That was when luck stepped in, saving him from trying to charm the frigid looking nurse at the station into divulging the information.
“Did you do the check up on Miss Lehane today?”
As soon as the name drifted to Spike’s ears, he inconspicuously approached the doctor and nurse that were discussing Faith’s situation.
The doctor sighed. “Yes. There are no signs of improvement, and the longer she stays in the coma, the lesser is the chance of her making it out undamaged.”
“Her sister and father were here earlier today. They seem like such nice people. I just feel sorry for them,” the nurse said and glanced down at her clipboard. “Well, I better get moving. I need to replace Miss Lehane’s IV bag.”
Spike tuned out the ending of their conversation and followed the nurse, being careful to keep some distance so she wouldn’t notice. Being a vampire proved to be useful at sneaking around and avoiding any unwanted attention. He waited for the nurse to leave the room before he slipped in.
Faith was white as a sheet, and for a moment he thought it wasn’t her and he’d gotten the wrong room after all. But then he got closer and studied the familiar features, shocked to discover it was indeed the girl he remembered from school as being fearless and shameless. It was hard to recognize her without the make-up and an impish smile.
He reached his hand into the pocket of his duster and closed his fingers around a small vial before drawing it out. The violet fluid sloshed around as he uncorked it and sniffed the contents. It didn’t smell bad.
The witch had told him to inject it into the IV bag so it would get straight into Faith’s bloodstream. He frowned; not really believing such a small amount could do anything to help, but pulled a needle out of his pocket anyway. The healing potion concentrated on connecting the mind with the body. It brought inner strength to the surface, the witch had said as she glanced at him from beneath the curtain of her honey blonde hair, those doe like eyes full of sincerity.
Magic wasn’t something he trusted, but hearing the earlier conversation solidified his decision to do this.
Faith had nothing to lose.
Either it worked or she’d just stay a vegetable. With a decisive nod, Spike grasped the syringe with a needle attached to it and pulled the cap off. Then he stuck the needle into the vial and pulled the violet liquid into it. He tapped the needle a few times and pressed to squeeze the air out of it, which was followed by a small stream erupting from the tip.
After stepping closer the bed, Spike stuck the needle into valve on the IV bag and depressed the plunger, watching as the violet liquid blended in with the transparent IV before it disappeared into her vein. For a moment, his eyes zeroed in on the heartbeat throbbing beneath the skin of her inner arm, his mouth turning dry at the sound of blood being pumped.
Faith didn’t stir.
Spike’s sensitive hearing picked up voices and he quickly left the room, hoping the potion would work.
*******
Buffy was having the worst day ever. Their math professor decided it would be nice to give the students a surprise test to see how they were grasping the current material. Needless to say, Buffy presented the teacher with a blank paper, earning herself a stern look of disapproval.
So she didn’t have the time to study. It was pretty understandable with all that was going on in her life right now. But fate seemed to be laughing at her misfortune and things only got worse when she and Giles went to visit Faith. Not only was she the same, but Buffy spilled a cup of coffee all over her favourite top.
Now she was taking it off and scowled at the also ruined bra. With a growl she tossed them into the washing machine and put on a black tank top. Black was exactly the colour to match her mood.
Finally glad she was potentially safe of any disasters, Buffy trudged into the living room, collapsed on the sofa with a sigh and turned on the TV. That was the moment Giles called out from the kitchen.
“Buffy? You’ve got a call!”
She frowned and went to take it from Giles’ grasp, voicing a silent question with her eyes. Who could possibly be calling her? He just shrugged and disappeared into his study.
“Hello?”
“Buffy? Is that really you?”
The phone just about fell from her suddenly sweaty grasp. “Mom?”
“Oh, Buffy! I found you. I was so worried when I couldn’t reach you at the school and then I was told it had been closed. Where are you? And who’s this Rupert Giles?”
Buffy slid down the wall and clutched the phone closer to her ear, her eyes overflowing with tears. “M-mom?”
“Are you okay? Tell me what happen-” Her voice cut off suddenly and all Buffy could hear was heavy breathing.
“What’s wrong? Are you still there? Mom?”
“I-I have to go,” she whispered and before Buffy could reply, the line went dead.
After a few minutes she managed to stand up and hang up the phone with trembling hands. Her mother had found her. How? Why now? And why despite everything she’d done to Buffy, all the times she’d hurt her with words and lack of action in the face of Ted’s abuse, all Buffy could think of was wishing she could hug her? She so desperately wanted to stay angry but she knew that if her mother asked, Buffy would forgive her.
And what had happened to make her mother hang up? Was it Ted? Did he… Buffy didn’t want to think about it. She tried before, to have her mother see sense and leave, but she couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped.
'Oh yes, this day is definitely getting better and better.'
*******
Later that night, Buffy tossed a biology textbook on the floor, glad that Giles wasn’t nearby to scold her for the inappropriate treatment of books. She couldn’t concentrate, her mind whirled too fast so she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.
“Yeah?”
Buffy propped herself against the headboard, her voice shaking as she said, “Hi.”
“How are you doing? Getting a break from studying for the bio exam?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but hearing his deep comforting voice did nothing but add to the lump growing in her throat. Embarrassed, she realized she’d probably start crying and contemplated hanging up on him so he wouldn’t know. But she so badly needed someone to tell her all would be okay.
“Luv? You there?”
She squeezed her eyes shut and took in a shuddering breath, wiping uselessly at the tears falling down her cheeks. She tried to reply him again, but all that came out of her mouth was a strangled sob.
“What’s wrong? Buffy? Are you crying?”
She pressed her lips together before letting out a breath so she could speak. “N-no.”
“Yes, you are… Did something happen? Do you want me to come?”
The dam threatened to burst open at his kind words, the concern in his voice too much to bear as all the events of the horrible day cumulated together, but she held it back. Barely.
“N-no, it’s… fine. Just n-needed to… hear you.”
“I’ll stop by, yeah? You know I can’t stand it when you cry. You’re killing me here.”
“P-please don’t. I’m just being… silly.” She sniffed. “I had a day from hell, t-that’s all.”
“If you don’t want me to come, then at least… come see me instead. You know the address. I’ll make you tea and you can tell me what bugger made my girl sad so I can give them a piece of my mind.”
The chauvinistic display of testosterone actually made her feel a bit better even if she prided herself on being independent.
“Tomorrow. Can I come tomorrow?”
“You don’t have to ask. Skip the exam and visit.”
She laughed a little. “You’re a bad influence.”
“I prefer to think of it as a good influence. Remember that time when you made me sneak into the kitchens with you? Now that was bad. We almost got caught by that old cow.”
“But we had fun, didn’t we?”
“Course. God, you could have talked me into doing anything for you. You still can.”
Buffy opened the drawer of her nightstand and pulled out a handkerchief. Then she blew her nose. Loudly. On the other end of the line, she heard Spike chuckle.
“Do you feel a bit better now?”
“A little.”
“Wanna tell me what happened today?”
If she began talking about it she’d just end up crying like a baby. “I’ll tell you later, okay?”
“Whenever you want,” he said kindly and fell silent for a moment before he whispered, “I love you.”
She froze even as the words blanketed her with warmth. Even with the distance, the tension as he waited for her to say something was suffocating and she panicked.
“Umm... I-I… gotta go.” She quickly disconnected the call.
Her heart pounded against her ribcage and as she dropped the phone on the bedspread, overwhelming feeling of guilt stretched in her chest. 'Gotta go?' Was that really all she said? She should have told him how she felt! Now he probably sat or stood there, staring at the phone, feeling as if she stomped all over his heart. Buffy knew without a shadow of any doubt that there was still William sheltered inside and she knew him well. Knew how insecure he was, how every little word or lack of it could cut him deeply.
She had to see him, had to tell him because she couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him.
Swiftly rising from the bed, Buffy kicked off her sweats and yanked a pair of jeans up her legs before snatching a jacket and running out the house.
*******
Spike was just striding down a small park near his home when the phone rang. When he realized it was a very upset Buffy calling him, he’d gotten so distracted he forgot why he was out in the first place. Then --the naïve fool he was-- the confession of love was passing his lips before he could think otherwise and he’d be damned twice if the whole thing hadn’t blown up in his face.
He had promised himself to keep his mouth shut about the feelings inside until he was sure she felt the same now that they had gotten closer. But could she ever? Things were different. He was a vampire and she the Slayer. How could he possibly think there was a chance she’d love him like she used to? He was a monster and she may have forgiven him, even shown him acceptance but her reply and disconnecting the call told him everything he needed to know.
Buffy didn’t love him. Not anymore.
His face twisted into a grimace as the tears burned the back of his eyelids, but he clenched his jaw and inhaled harshly through his nostrils to keep them at bay. He wouldn’t cry, it wasn’t who he was now. For the hundredth time, it occurred to him that Dru and Darla had turned him wrong. Why couldn’t he just turn the humanity off like a badly tuned radio?
A curse echoed somewhere off to his side, carrying to his sensitive hearing even through the thick trees separating the two sidewalks. He spun around, his face melting to that of the demon. Someone was there. Someone human, their blood pumping hot and rich beneath their supple skin.
His stomach growled.
Immediately, Spike melted into the shadows as he weaved around the trees, the hunger that had been plaguing him all day quickening his steps. There she was. His prey. The young woman’s nervous eyes darted around and she adjusted the straps of her purse as they slipped down her shoulder, the heels of her shoes clicking loudly on the concrete in the empty park.
His excitement rose with each passing step, the demon in him restless as he drew near and she tossed a worried glance over her shoulder. This was the moment he loved the most, the anticipation before he sank his teeth into their struggling bodies. He could almost smell her perfume now, something sweet and flowery.
Sensing his presence on a deep primal level even if she couldn’t see him yet, the woman lengthened her steps as much as she could wearing high heels and a tight pencil skirt. In her haste, the heel of her shoe got stuck in the crack of the pavement and she stumbled, falling down on her hands and knees. The smell of blood permeated the air around, making the saliva rush into his mouth.
Before she could stand up, he leaped from the shadows and tackled her to the ground. They rolled around until Spike ended on top, straddling her hips. The woman opened her mouth to scream but he slammed a hand on her mouth to muffle the sound, ignoring her clawing fingers.
“Shhh, none of that. If you’re silent, I’ll let you live.”
He’d let her live anyway but she didn’t need to know that. The way her eyes widened in fear caused a grin to stretch across his face and almost pushed him past the line of self control. She ceased her struggles and he locked his hand around her wrist before bringing it to his lips.
He bit hard and deep, loved how the skin broke beneath his fangs before she gasped against his palm as he greedily drew a mouthful of blood. It was warm and nothing could ever compare to the feeling as the life slid down his throat to silence the demon within. This was what he needed, the rush of it, the invigorating sense of being alive.
Spike hadn’t even realized how truly starved he was until he heard the slowing heartbeat of the woman beneath him and he pulled his fangs out of her wrist, staring up at her heavy lidded eyes. Small droplets of rain fell down and splashed against his nose.
That he heard it. A gasp. A litany of denial from the lips he’d kissed not so long ago. He knew it was her even before he turned around and saw her pale face, the disbelief in her eyes as she glimpsed the blood still trickling down his fangs.
TBC
A/N: Mwahaha!
Chapter thirty-five
A/N: Betad by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters. Thank you!
And thank you everyone that is kind enough to let me know you like. You guys are the best! :)
Look at how pretty the banner is! Xaphania made it.
Chapter 35
Spike let the woman’s wrist slip out of his grasp and rose to his feet. From the horrified look on Buffy’s face he knew he should feel guilty about his actions. But how could he? Feeding from humans was a part of his very essence. It wasn’t just about blood. It was the hunt. The power he’d had over their life or death.
The rain continued falling down.
His vampire mask melted away and he stepped forward, aching to touch her, to make her understand. She ignored him, her eyes landing on the woman behind him, her eyes cold.
“Buffy…”
“Don’t. Not now.” She bypassed him and knelt down next to the woman, searching through the woman’s purse to find a phone. When she did, she flipped it open and called an ambulance.
“Please,” he whispered.
After she hung up, he reached out and touched her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.
“Spike, I had a really really bad day, so please just… let me process this.”
“Why are you so mad at me? I didn’t kill her, she’s still alive,” his voice trailed off. “Why won’t you look at me?”
She glanced up then, her face closed off to any emotions, but he knew her—probably better than anyone else—and saw what she tried so hard to hide. Betrayal. But why? He let the woman live, he did the best he could.
“I can’t believe you did this. I can’t believe that I was about to tell you… Would you have killed her if I didn’t happen to come by?”
“No! I would never… I know you wouldn’t like it.”
“So that’s the only reason, right? Because I wouldn’t like it? Do you even realize how wrong that is?”
“But I didn’t kill her! Do you know how hard it is to not do that? Can you even imagine how difficult it is to stop?” He was getting angry now, because anger was better than the hurt he could feel creeping up his chest and digging deep. “You know what I am! You saw me drink—”
“From a mug! I just… I don’t know if I can deal with this right now.”
Drinking bagged blood long term never really occurred to him because the demon inside demanded more, and he wasn’t sure he had enough self control to not lose his temper and go on a killing spree. It wasn’t enough to quell the deeply ingrained urges, and he couldn’t simply switch them off and stop. It was an addiction he couldn’t cure.
The sirens of an approaching ambulance tore through the thickening tension between them. Buffy stood up, avoiding his eyes. The raindrops fell down more frequently now, but not enough to wash away his sins.
“You better go. They shouldn’t see you here… not with blood on your face.”
He wiped at his chin then tried one last time to make her see. “Buffy, please… I-”
“Just go, Spike.”
“Will you come to see me so we can talk about it?” He hated how weak his voice was, but what he hated even more was that he’d managed to hurt Buffy.
She stared at him, her eyes shining with tears even the rain couldn’t conceal before she turned away. “I don’t know.”
The sirens stopped, and he could hear the approaching steps of paramedics. He sent her one last pleading glance that she didn’t see, and ran. All the way to his apartment, he could feel his heart breaking.
*******
Spike only got as far as the couch in the living room before he collapsed in front of it, pressing his face into the cushions to muffle his scream. The way she looked at him was forever burned into his retinas, would always haunt him when he closed his eyes.
If only he could turn back time and be the man she wanted him to be. The man she could love because his hands hadn’t been stained by blood of those she was sworn to protect.
'She hates me. My Buffy hates me, and now I lost the only friend I’ve ever had.'
He was nothing without her.
With far too much effort, Spike picked himself up and headed to the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and cupped his hands under the stream before splashing his face with the cold water. It trickled down his skin, staining the white porcelain with the proof of his monstrosity.
He lifted his gaze and stared at the mirror in front of his face. The face that wasn’t reflected there.
*******
He had no idea how long he’d been aimlessly wandering around the apartment, small knick-knacks and empty alcohol bottles falling victim to his frustration and hurt as he hurled them against the floor or a wall. But it was in the exact same second when he stepped onto a shattered piece of glass with his bare foot that the bell rang.
In his haste to hop to the intercom, Spike almost tripped over his own feet. As he pushed the button to let the person in, he tried to ignore the way his tongue felt like alcohol soaked cotton in his mouth.
All too soon, someone was knocking on his door and he flung it open, staggering in the process. Before he could fall flat on his ass, the visitor grasped his forearm and steadied him.
Spike lifted his bloodshot gaze to take in her face.
“Can I come in?” Buffy asked, and he stepped aside to give her room to get by.
He closed the door behind, all the while trying to suppress the urge to cry and beg.
“Buffy...” he started with a shaking voice and closed his fingers around her upper arm to turn her towards him.
“I wanted to talk, but now I’m starting to think it was a bad idea.”
“Don’t go!”
Buffy took a glimpse of his face, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears, and she couldn’t do anything else but stay. Seeing him like that had shocked her. Spike was a vampire, she knew that, but witnessing the extent of the demon within was something entirely different. He wasn’t just William with an incurable disease or just the demon with William’s memories. He was both. And if she couldn’t accept everything he was, then it wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
“Okay, I won’t. But only because we need to figure this out.”
He let out a relieved breath, as if she’d just lifted the weight of the world off his shoulders with one decision. Empty liquor bottles littered the floor, one clanking against another as her foot bumped into it. She studied Spike’s face, finally noticing his drunken state.
He leaned in and nuzzled her neck, shaking, and her hands itched to rake through his hair. Instead she stepped back. They needed to talk but the way he stared at her, the corners of his eyes tightened with hurt, rooted her to the spot.
“You hate me,” he whispered and collapsed to his knees.
Before she could say anything in reply, his arms banded around her thighs and he buried his face in her stomach. How could he make everything all right again?
“I’m s-sorry. So sorry.”
Buffy knelt down next to him and pulled him closer into her embrace. “I don’t hate you. I… I couldn’t.”
His eyes widened barely contained hope as he trembled and buried his face into her shoulder, his hold on her tightening.
“Stay here tonight?”
She shouldn’t. It was a really bad idea. She should be angry and disgusted, finally realizing the things he was capable of. And if it weren’t for the neat puncture marks on the woman’s wrist instead of tears in her throat, she might have believed he only stopped because she stumbled across him. But even then, would she be able to deny what she felt for him?
Spike gazed up at her with eyes full of hope.
“Maybe… Just for a little while.”
He nodded and let out a relieved breath.
She pressed her cheek against his and her gaze landed on his upturned feet. As soon as she glimpsed the blood seeping from around the embedded pieces of glass, she gasped and leaned away.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your feet are bleeding. Can’t I leave you for one second without you getting into trouble?”
Spike furrowed his brows and sat back, looking at the cuts. “I forgot.”
She sighed and took his hand before she stood up. When his feet encountered the floor, he winced but followed her precariously into the living room.
“Sit,” Buffy said.
He did.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
Spike pointed to the left. In a couple of minutes Buffy was kneeling before him and lifting his foot to pull the pieces of glass out She could feel his stare burning into her, probably wondering what she was doing. If only she knew as she prompted him to sink his feet into the basin full of warm water.
So many differences between them, so many reasons why this shouldn’t be happening but still, Buffy watched the water tint with pink before she lifted his feet up and encased them in a soft towel.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said.
She shrugged, uncomfortable to be under such a close scrutiny, the open expression of his face. “I know, but…”
“Does this mean you… forgive me?”
She stood up and sat next to him but left a distance so she could focus. Then she directed her stare at him. “I don’t know. Maybe. You’re just so… I don’t know where I stand with you. One moment you’re all sweet and exactly like my William, and then you’re-”
“A monster.”
She shook her head and said in a soft voice, “No, you’re not. You’re just different. I know you’re still William at the core, but you’ve changed. So have I. And I don’t know how we fit into each other’s lives… what with being natural enemies.”
“You’re scared.”
“No!” She sighed. “Yes. A little.”
“You don’t have to be, Buffy. I screwed up, but I won’t again. Just tell me what it is what you want from me. You want me to stop feeding? I’ll do that. I’d do anything to… I’d do anything. Whatever it takes.”
“If I asked you to stop feeding on people, you’d do that?”
“Yeah. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. Bloody hard actually, but if that’s what you want…”
“But you don’t want to.”
“I want you. And if that means making a sacrifice, then that’s all I need to know.”
“But you can’t just… you can’t build your existence around me. I don’t want you to make this decision and then one day… poof, you’ll come to hate me for it.”
Spike chuckled bitterly. “Luv, I could never hate you. Things would be so much easier if I could.”
“Well, you can’t always have everything.”
“You’re my everything. Don’t you get it?”
Buffy glanced away from him and stared at her hands folded in her lap instead.
“I’m sorry if that scares you,” he said.
“Spike… tell me, if I was dead, if I’d hadn’t survived or if I died tomorro-”
“No! Don’t even say it.” His eyes were bright with torment as he shakily inhaled.
Buffy tried to ignore it even though her own heart lurched in her chest and went on. “If I wasn’t here… would you stop feeding from people?”
“I wish I could say no, but… I don’t know. I’d try not to, for your sake, but sometimes the urge is stronger than me. I do have control over my demon, don’t get me wrong, but I’m still a young vampire. Old ones have better control over themselves... not that they use it, usually.”
“I know I can’t understand, but… maybe you could explain it to me. I want to understand. I need to.”
Spike collapsed against the back of the couch and rubbed at his eyes. “It’s like… it’s like an itch that keeps nagging and nagging until you scratch it. An impulse. It’s not just about feeding. It’s about the power, the control, feeling them struggle as I… the demon inside me feeds off it.”
Buffy thought about the way she felt when she was slaying. The rush. The lust for the demons’ blood. And then she imagined what it would be like if she just… stopped. If she kept the Slayer part in her locked away with the key dangling in front of her face.
“If you… if I said you could feed-” His head jerked up as he stared at her incredulously, and she forced herself to finish her thought. “But only from the bad guys and you could not kill them… would you do it?”
“Buffy… my God. Are you sure? I don’t want you to regret it. Yeah, of course I’d do it. But I could get used to bagged blood, I really could, if you wanted me to.”
“I don’t want to change who you are. Loving someone means accepting who they are, the good and the bad.”
As soon as the word ‘loving’ passed her lips, his eyes widened.
*******
On the other side of the town, Faith gasped and jerked awake. Blinding pain rushed through her veins and concentrated right in her heart before black dots swarmed her vision. The machine monitoring her vitals beeped as the straight red line appeared on the screen.
Faith’s heart had stopped.
TBC
A/N: I really should stop being so mean. All I can say is, trust me.
And thank you everyone that is kind enough to let me know you like. You guys are the best! :)
Look at how pretty the banner is! Xaphania made it.
Chapter 35
Spike let the woman’s wrist slip out of his grasp and rose to his feet. From the horrified look on Buffy’s face he knew he should feel guilty about his actions. But how could he? Feeding from humans was a part of his very essence. It wasn’t just about blood. It was the hunt. The power he’d had over their life or death.
The rain continued falling down.
His vampire mask melted away and he stepped forward, aching to touch her, to make her understand. She ignored him, her eyes landing on the woman behind him, her eyes cold.
“Buffy…”
“Don’t. Not now.” She bypassed him and knelt down next to the woman, searching through the woman’s purse to find a phone. When she did, she flipped it open and called an ambulance.
“Please,” he whispered.
After she hung up, he reached out and touched her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.
“Spike, I had a really really bad day, so please just… let me process this.”
“Why are you so mad at me? I didn’t kill her, she’s still alive,” his voice trailed off. “Why won’t you look at me?”
She glanced up then, her face closed off to any emotions, but he knew her—probably better than anyone else—and saw what she tried so hard to hide. Betrayal. But why? He let the woman live, he did the best he could.
“I can’t believe you did this. I can’t believe that I was about to tell you… Would you have killed her if I didn’t happen to come by?”
“No! I would never… I know you wouldn’t like it.”
“So that’s the only reason, right? Because I wouldn’t like it? Do you even realize how wrong that is?”
“But I didn’t kill her! Do you know how hard it is to not do that? Can you even imagine how difficult it is to stop?” He was getting angry now, because anger was better than the hurt he could feel creeping up his chest and digging deep. “You know what I am! You saw me drink—”
“From a mug! I just… I don’t know if I can deal with this right now.”
Drinking bagged blood long term never really occurred to him because the demon inside demanded more, and he wasn’t sure he had enough self control to not lose his temper and go on a killing spree. It wasn’t enough to quell the deeply ingrained urges, and he couldn’t simply switch them off and stop. It was an addiction he couldn’t cure.
The sirens of an approaching ambulance tore through the thickening tension between them. Buffy stood up, avoiding his eyes. The raindrops fell down more frequently now, but not enough to wash away his sins.
“You better go. They shouldn’t see you here… not with blood on your face.”
He wiped at his chin then tried one last time to make her see. “Buffy, please… I-”
“Just go, Spike.”
“Will you come to see me so we can talk about it?” He hated how weak his voice was, but what he hated even more was that he’d managed to hurt Buffy.
She stared at him, her eyes shining with tears even the rain couldn’t conceal before she turned away. “I don’t know.”
The sirens stopped, and he could hear the approaching steps of paramedics. He sent her one last pleading glance that she didn’t see, and ran. All the way to his apartment, he could feel his heart breaking.
*******
Spike only got as far as the couch in the living room before he collapsed in front of it, pressing his face into the cushions to muffle his scream. The way she looked at him was forever burned into his retinas, would always haunt him when he closed his eyes.
If only he could turn back time and be the man she wanted him to be. The man she could love because his hands hadn’t been stained by blood of those she was sworn to protect.
'She hates me. My Buffy hates me, and now I lost the only friend I’ve ever had.'
He was nothing without her.
With far too much effort, Spike picked himself up and headed to the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and cupped his hands under the stream before splashing his face with the cold water. It trickled down his skin, staining the white porcelain with the proof of his monstrosity.
He lifted his gaze and stared at the mirror in front of his face. The face that wasn’t reflected there.
*******
He had no idea how long he’d been aimlessly wandering around the apartment, small knick-knacks and empty alcohol bottles falling victim to his frustration and hurt as he hurled them against the floor or a wall. But it was in the exact same second when he stepped onto a shattered piece of glass with his bare foot that the bell rang.
In his haste to hop to the intercom, Spike almost tripped over his own feet. As he pushed the button to let the person in, he tried to ignore the way his tongue felt like alcohol soaked cotton in his mouth.
All too soon, someone was knocking on his door and he flung it open, staggering in the process. Before he could fall flat on his ass, the visitor grasped his forearm and steadied him.
Spike lifted his bloodshot gaze to take in her face.
“Can I come in?” Buffy asked, and he stepped aside to give her room to get by.
He closed the door behind, all the while trying to suppress the urge to cry and beg.
“Buffy...” he started with a shaking voice and closed his fingers around her upper arm to turn her towards him.
“I wanted to talk, but now I’m starting to think it was a bad idea.”
“Don’t go!”
Buffy took a glimpse of his face, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears, and she couldn’t do anything else but stay. Seeing him like that had shocked her. Spike was a vampire, she knew that, but witnessing the extent of the demon within was something entirely different. He wasn’t just William with an incurable disease or just the demon with William’s memories. He was both. And if she couldn’t accept everything he was, then it wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
“Okay, I won’t. But only because we need to figure this out.”
He let out a relieved breath, as if she’d just lifted the weight of the world off his shoulders with one decision. Empty liquor bottles littered the floor, one clanking against another as her foot bumped into it. She studied Spike’s face, finally noticing his drunken state.
He leaned in and nuzzled her neck, shaking, and her hands itched to rake through his hair. Instead she stepped back. They needed to talk but the way he stared at her, the corners of his eyes tightened with hurt, rooted her to the spot.
“You hate me,” he whispered and collapsed to his knees.
Before she could say anything in reply, his arms banded around her thighs and he buried his face in her stomach. How could he make everything all right again?
“I’m s-sorry. So sorry.”
Buffy knelt down next to him and pulled him closer into her embrace. “I don’t hate you. I… I couldn’t.”
His eyes widened barely contained hope as he trembled and buried his face into her shoulder, his hold on her tightening.
“Stay here tonight?”
She shouldn’t. It was a really bad idea. She should be angry and disgusted, finally realizing the things he was capable of. And if it weren’t for the neat puncture marks on the woman’s wrist instead of tears in her throat, she might have believed he only stopped because she stumbled across him. But even then, would she be able to deny what she felt for him?
Spike gazed up at her with eyes full of hope.
“Maybe… Just for a little while.”
He nodded and let out a relieved breath.
She pressed her cheek against his and her gaze landed on his upturned feet. As soon as she glimpsed the blood seeping from around the embedded pieces of glass, she gasped and leaned away.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your feet are bleeding. Can’t I leave you for one second without you getting into trouble?”
Spike furrowed his brows and sat back, looking at the cuts. “I forgot.”
She sighed and took his hand before she stood up. When his feet encountered the floor, he winced but followed her precariously into the living room.
“Sit,” Buffy said.
He did.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
Spike pointed to the left. In a couple of minutes Buffy was kneeling before him and lifting his foot to pull the pieces of glass out She could feel his stare burning into her, probably wondering what she was doing. If only she knew as she prompted him to sink his feet into the basin full of warm water.
So many differences between them, so many reasons why this shouldn’t be happening but still, Buffy watched the water tint with pink before she lifted his feet up and encased them in a soft towel.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said.
She shrugged, uncomfortable to be under such a close scrutiny, the open expression of his face. “I know, but…”
“Does this mean you… forgive me?”
She stood up and sat next to him but left a distance so she could focus. Then she directed her stare at him. “I don’t know. Maybe. You’re just so… I don’t know where I stand with you. One moment you’re all sweet and exactly like my William, and then you’re-”
“A monster.”
She shook her head and said in a soft voice, “No, you’re not. You’re just different. I know you’re still William at the core, but you’ve changed. So have I. And I don’t know how we fit into each other’s lives… what with being natural enemies.”
“You’re scared.”
“No!” She sighed. “Yes. A little.”
“You don’t have to be, Buffy. I screwed up, but I won’t again. Just tell me what it is what you want from me. You want me to stop feeding? I’ll do that. I’d do anything to… I’d do anything. Whatever it takes.”
“If I asked you to stop feeding on people, you’d do that?”
“Yeah. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. Bloody hard actually, but if that’s what you want…”
“But you don’t want to.”
“I want you. And if that means making a sacrifice, then that’s all I need to know.”
“But you can’t just… you can’t build your existence around me. I don’t want you to make this decision and then one day… poof, you’ll come to hate me for it.”
Spike chuckled bitterly. “Luv, I could never hate you. Things would be so much easier if I could.”
“Well, you can’t always have everything.”
“You’re my everything. Don’t you get it?”
Buffy glanced away from him and stared at her hands folded in her lap instead.
“I’m sorry if that scares you,” he said.
“Spike… tell me, if I was dead, if I’d hadn’t survived or if I died tomorro-”
“No! Don’t even say it.” His eyes were bright with torment as he shakily inhaled.
Buffy tried to ignore it even though her own heart lurched in her chest and went on. “If I wasn’t here… would you stop feeding from people?”
“I wish I could say no, but… I don’t know. I’d try not to, for your sake, but sometimes the urge is stronger than me. I do have control over my demon, don’t get me wrong, but I’m still a young vampire. Old ones have better control over themselves... not that they use it, usually.”
“I know I can’t understand, but… maybe you could explain it to me. I want to understand. I need to.”
Spike collapsed against the back of the couch and rubbed at his eyes. “It’s like… it’s like an itch that keeps nagging and nagging until you scratch it. An impulse. It’s not just about feeding. It’s about the power, the control, feeling them struggle as I… the demon inside me feeds off it.”
Buffy thought about the way she felt when she was slaying. The rush. The lust for the demons’ blood. And then she imagined what it would be like if she just… stopped. If she kept the Slayer part in her locked away with the key dangling in front of her face.
“If you… if I said you could feed-” His head jerked up as he stared at her incredulously, and she forced herself to finish her thought. “But only from the bad guys and you could not kill them… would you do it?”
“Buffy… my God. Are you sure? I don’t want you to regret it. Yeah, of course I’d do it. But I could get used to bagged blood, I really could, if you wanted me to.”
“I don’t want to change who you are. Loving someone means accepting who they are, the good and the bad.”
As soon as the word ‘loving’ passed her lips, his eyes widened.
*******
On the other side of the town, Faith gasped and jerked awake. Blinding pain rushed through her veins and concentrated right in her heart before black dots swarmed her vision. The machine monitoring her vitals beeped as the straight red line appeared on the screen.
Faith’s heart had stopped.
TBC
A/N: I really should stop being so mean. All I can say is, trust me.
Chapter thirty-six
A/N: Betad by wonderful dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Hugs to all you who read. :)
Chapter 36
Buffy swiftly stood up and her gaze landed everywhere but on him. The last thing she wanted was to admit to loving him after what had happened.
“I’m thirsty. Yes. Do you have anything to drink? Like a-a soda or… something?”
Fortunately he didn’t comment on her obvious avoidance of the issue and nodded with a small smile. “I’ve got soda.”
“Good.”
She followed behind as he crossed the studio apartment to the small kitchen and opened refrigerator to take out a can. Their fingers brushed as she took it away from him.
“Thank you.” She opened the soda and took a big gulp, thankful that she hadn’t spilled any in her haste. “Why do you have stuff like this here? Human food and drinks.”
He tilted his head and regarded her as though she should know the answer, but he humoured her anyway. “For you.”
“Oh.” And why did words escape her all of sudden?
Spike rubbed the back of his neck, the nervous gesture she knew so well, and leaned against the kitchen counter. “I’ve got snacks too if you want. The… umm… strawberries because I know you like them and some cheese flavoured crisps if you’re in a mood for something salty.”
“I like cheese.”
“I know,” he said with a hesitant smile.
“So… this place seems kind of expensive. How did you get it?”
“I didn’t steal the money, you know.”
“I wasn’t trying to… I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
He shrugged, but she could see he was a bit tense. “I took the money from Darla’s account. ‘S not exactly stealing since it’s family money, but I didn’t know if you’d think that…”
“No, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Buffy put the can of soda on the counter. “Well, I guess she won’t be needing cash right now.”
“Guess not.” His gaze slid away room hers to look around the apartment. “So… do you like it?”
“It’s so great. I like it. Really.” And she meant it.
His eyes lit up a bit and it felt better than basking in the sun.
“It’s not very big, but-”
“It’s perfect.” She glanced at his hand and wanted to take it in hers, so she gathered the courage and did. The loving expression on his face told her she made a right choice. “Want to give me a tour?”
“’Course.”
A frown crossed his face briefly as he said, “You’re shivering. Shit, I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t realize...” He tugged her into the bathroom and wrapped her in a huge towel. Even though she was fully capable of drying the damp strands of her hair, she let him do it instead. If he needed to take care of her, then who was she to refuse?
“I’ll give you some of my clothes.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’m not really all that wet. Show me around real quick and then I’ll change.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I can’t wait to see everything.”
Spike took her hand in his again and quickly led her around, but she barely heard his comments about the place. All her focus concentrated on feeling her hand encased in his bigger one, on the warmth it spread throughout her whole body. They stopped suddenly near steep steps and she tilted her head back to see where it led.
“Up there is a bedroom.”
She could only see the walls of the open loft. “So, can I see it?”
“It’s a bit of a mess.”
“Spike, there are liquor bottles all over the floor. Some upturned sheets won’t upset me,” she said with a smile.
“Right, sorry about that.”
“I don’t mind. Now show me the upstairs and give me those clothes.”
He nodded and with each step, her heart slammed against her ribcage a bit faster. Being led into a bedroom by the man she loved was a really strange sensation, even if she didn’t exactly plan on anything happening right now.
They climbed the steps and Buffy glanced around the small but cozy bedroom.
“So you really do have silk sheets.” And of all observations she could have made, this was the one she said out loud.
“Thought I was lying?”
And how was pressing his wicked tongue behind the front teeth fair? It seemed as if he’d taken liking to making her blush.
“Umm… so do you really sleep naked in those?”
He laughed. “Yeah. You should try it some time.”
Him naked, her naked, together on those silk sheets. “Sounds exciting.”
Saying that was worth it, if only for the way his eyes almost bugged out of his head. Not that she didn’t mean it. The last thing she expected though was the smirk slowly spreading across his face.
“You know, now that I think about it… I’ve got no spare clothes, so that means you’ll just have to strip to avoid catching a cold.”
“Really? Not even one t-shirt around?”
“Nah. It was a… err… a laundry day today, so it seems you’re fresh out of luck, luv.”
Buffy arched her eyebrow and wandered to the nearby dresser. Smiling, she drew it open and found a whole lot of folded t-shirts and shirts. “So what is this then?”
“Oh, those. Must have forgotten,” he said with false remorse.
“You’re impossible.”
She sent him a faux-annoyed glance over her shoulder before turning away and pulling the damp top she was wearing over her head and tossing it to the floor. Maybe it was her imagination, but she could swear she heard him choke. All he could see was her back, but she didn’t have time to put on a bra before dashing out of the house. With a happy sigh, she slipped a red shirt over her shoulders and buttoned it up. Then she unzipped the jeans before dropping them down and stepping out of the heap.
“All done,” she said and spun around to catch the dazed look in his eyes as he stared at her bare legs.
“Uhh… right. Done.”
Her whole body ached equally with the need to touch him and with the desire to just lie down and sleep. The entire horrid day made her limbs feel heavy with weariness, and she unsuccessfully tried to prevent a yawn.
“You tired, luv?”
She shook her head in denial.
“Come on, lie down for a bit, yeah? I won’t bother you. I can go downstairs and clean up or take a nap on the couch. It’s no big deal.” He stepped closer and lifted her hand to his lips to kiss the back before releasing it. “Alright?”
Buffy’s gaze fell on the huge inviting bed blanketed by his scent and her mind was made up.
“Okay. But… you don’t have to sleep on the couch. If you don’t mind, I’d like for you to just… hold me. Like you did back then.”
“If you’re sure. Gotta take a shower first though since I smell like booze.”
“Good idea.”
Buffy settled on the bed and watched him jump down from the loft.
“Show off,” she muttered.
“I heard that!”
*******
Ten minutes later, she heard Spike pace the floor below. Rising from the bed and shaking off the remnants of sleep, she walked to the edge and peered down.
“Aren’t you coming up?”
He gazed up at her, startled, and she just knew he’d been arguing with himself about whether he should stay down or come up.
“I was just about to.”
'Sure you were.'
As he climbed the stairs dressed only in his jeans, her eyes eagerly devoured every inch of exposed skin and suddenly the tiredness was the last thing on her mind. His fingers moved down his chest to rest at the waistband of his jeans and he slowly unbuckled the belt before slipping it out of the loops. The action made the muscles on his arm flex and Buffy swallowed, her eyes fixed on his every move. But then he stopped and she pouted in disappointment. When she realized he’d probably caught her staring, she lifted her gaze to his and blushed at the half-amused, half-aroused glint in his eyes.
“Come to bed?” he asked and his thick deep voice drew her towards the bed without any further thought.
The mattress dipped under her weight as she knelt on it and settled in the middle. Her heart started to pound faster as Spike followed her and crawled erotically across the bed until he loomed above her.
He lay down on his side and rested his palm on her stomach, the coolness of his touch setting her skin ablaze. She put her hand over his and turned her head to the side to look at him.
“Have I told you how much I missed you?” she asked. “How many times I wished for you to… I can’t believe you’re really here.”
He buried his face in the crook of her neck and pressed a lingering kiss to her skin. “I know. God, I know.”
*******
Spike soaked up her warmth and closed his eyes in contentment. The sheets rustled as she turned on her side and pressed her forehead against his. It didn’t matter how many times they’d kissed, it still shot a current of electricity along his nerves when she tentatively slanted her lips over his. He lifted his hand to tangle his fingers in her hair as she continued to tease his lips with soft kisses that left him aching.
Reluctant to change the pace she’d set, they kissed, lips exploring each other as if anew. Then the tip of her tongue caressed his bottom lip and he willingly parted his lips to meet her half way. The desire burned steadily and deeply as she hooked her leg over his hip and moaned into his mouth. His hand trailed down from her hair to caress the bare skin of her thigh, loving the way she had him under her thrall.
Buffy’s heartbeat thrummed against his chest and he slightly leaned away as he whispered her name against her swollen lips. “Buffy, you’re killing me here.”
“I am?”
He groaned and swooped in to steal another kiss from her. How could she expect him to control himself when she took his hand in hers and rested it above her breast? It almost drove him out of his mind, the way her lips quivered under his when he massaged her breast and passed his thumb over her hardened nipple.
“More,” she whispered and he rolled them over so she lay beneath him.
Buffy was the only one that could make him feel need like this, the slow steady beat of primal desire as she cradled him between her thighs, her nails softly scratching down his bare back.
“Take it off,” she said when he leaned away to let her breath and steered his fingers to rest against the buttons of the red shirt she was wearing. His gaze flickered to hers, the only thing there a raw naked submissiveness.
Spike sat back a bit, his unnecessary breath quickening at the sight of her splayed before him, chest heaving, lips parted. This was what he’d been missing. The intimacy. The connection. It had never been like this and his fingers shook as he tried to undo the small buttons.
They kept slipping from his grasp.
“Bugger.”
Buffy laughed and slapped his hands away. “Let me.”
He watched as she slowly undid each button and pouted at the fact she did a better job of it than he did. Surely he could make her mess up? He caressed her thighs, loving how they trembled before he reached the edges of her lacy knickers. Spike slipped his fingers under the edges and teased the smooth skin with his touch, still not reaching where she wanted him the most.
Apparently he was doing a good job when her fingers slipped across a button and she glared at him accusingly. The shirt had to go and he was getting impatient so he fisted the unbuttoned flaps of the shirt in his hands and yanked. The remaining buttons flew off and his eyes could finally feast on the naked flesh in front of him.
“You ruined your shirt.”
“I’ve got plenty more.”
“Are you going to stare or touch me already?”
Spike lifted his eyebrow and leaned in to take a nipple in his mouth. That drove the teasing expression right off her beautiful face and left the pleading one in its wake instead. He liked it.
A lot.
*******
Voices. There were so many muffled voices, faraway sounds that pounded in her head but she couldn’t wake up. The water was too thick, too deep, dragging her down as she tried to kick her legs faster to reach the unattainable surface.
Faith’s lungs fought to expand but she knew she couldn’t draw in a breath. If she did, she’d drown.
A violet light speared the darkness, glittering and safe as it coiled around her but still too far away from reach. Instinct told her to trust it and she gathered all her strength to latch onto the insubstantial pool of light. Half expecting her fingers to go right through it, it surprised her when it wrapped itself around her tightly and yanked.
With a gasp that left her coughing, Faith shot up in her bed. The fluorescent lamp blinded her so she shut her eyes, specks of colours still painfully dancing behind her closed eyelids. Something fell to the floor and shattered. The voices were all around her, language she couldn’t quite grasp. Where was she? What happened?
“Doctor,” someone yelled and strong hands pushed her back against the bed.
A wave of dizziness hit her, probably something to do with the pinch in her forearm. Faith clasped her fingers tightly around the bed railing and squeezed, feeling the metal bend under her hands before she drifted into dreamless sleep.
TBC
A/N: I've got a question for you guys. So, one of my betas will be unavailable until mid September, ergo me asking... do you want to wait until then for another chapter or should I post it looked at by only one beta. The grammar should be fine but there might be some weirdness plot-wise or 'Buffy wouldn't say that' and such. I'd re-edit it after she comes back from her holidays, but there is a possibility it'll suck before that. :/ Please be kind and let me know what you want. :)Oh, and of course tell me whether you liked the chapter.
Hugs to all you who read. :)
Chapter 36
Buffy swiftly stood up and her gaze landed everywhere but on him. The last thing she wanted was to admit to loving him after what had happened.
“I’m thirsty. Yes. Do you have anything to drink? Like a-a soda or… something?”
Fortunately he didn’t comment on her obvious avoidance of the issue and nodded with a small smile. “I’ve got soda.”
“Good.”
She followed behind as he crossed the studio apartment to the small kitchen and opened refrigerator to take out a can. Their fingers brushed as she took it away from him.
“Thank you.” She opened the soda and took a big gulp, thankful that she hadn’t spilled any in her haste. “Why do you have stuff like this here? Human food and drinks.”
He tilted his head and regarded her as though she should know the answer, but he humoured her anyway. “For you.”
“Oh.” And why did words escape her all of sudden?
Spike rubbed the back of his neck, the nervous gesture she knew so well, and leaned against the kitchen counter. “I’ve got snacks too if you want. The… umm… strawberries because I know you like them and some cheese flavoured crisps if you’re in a mood for something salty.”
“I like cheese.”
“I know,” he said with a hesitant smile.
“So… this place seems kind of expensive. How did you get it?”
“I didn’t steal the money, you know.”
“I wasn’t trying to… I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
He shrugged, but she could see he was a bit tense. “I took the money from Darla’s account. ‘S not exactly stealing since it’s family money, but I didn’t know if you’d think that…”
“No, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Buffy put the can of soda on the counter. “Well, I guess she won’t be needing cash right now.”
“Guess not.” His gaze slid away room hers to look around the apartment. “So… do you like it?”
“It’s so great. I like it. Really.” And she meant it.
His eyes lit up a bit and it felt better than basking in the sun.
“It’s not very big, but-”
“It’s perfect.” She glanced at his hand and wanted to take it in hers, so she gathered the courage and did. The loving expression on his face told her she made a right choice. “Want to give me a tour?”
“’Course.”
A frown crossed his face briefly as he said, “You’re shivering. Shit, I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t realize...” He tugged her into the bathroom and wrapped her in a huge towel. Even though she was fully capable of drying the damp strands of her hair, she let him do it instead. If he needed to take care of her, then who was she to refuse?
“I’ll give you some of my clothes.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’m not really all that wet. Show me around real quick and then I’ll change.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I can’t wait to see everything.”
Spike took her hand in his again and quickly led her around, but she barely heard his comments about the place. All her focus concentrated on feeling her hand encased in his bigger one, on the warmth it spread throughout her whole body. They stopped suddenly near steep steps and she tilted her head back to see where it led.
“Up there is a bedroom.”
She could only see the walls of the open loft. “So, can I see it?”
“It’s a bit of a mess.”
“Spike, there are liquor bottles all over the floor. Some upturned sheets won’t upset me,” she said with a smile.
“Right, sorry about that.”
“I don’t mind. Now show me the upstairs and give me those clothes.”
He nodded and with each step, her heart slammed against her ribcage a bit faster. Being led into a bedroom by the man she loved was a really strange sensation, even if she didn’t exactly plan on anything happening right now.
They climbed the steps and Buffy glanced around the small but cozy bedroom.
“So you really do have silk sheets.” And of all observations she could have made, this was the one she said out loud.
“Thought I was lying?”
And how was pressing his wicked tongue behind the front teeth fair? It seemed as if he’d taken liking to making her blush.
“Umm… so do you really sleep naked in those?”
He laughed. “Yeah. You should try it some time.”
Him naked, her naked, together on those silk sheets. “Sounds exciting.”
Saying that was worth it, if only for the way his eyes almost bugged out of his head. Not that she didn’t mean it. The last thing she expected though was the smirk slowly spreading across his face.
“You know, now that I think about it… I’ve got no spare clothes, so that means you’ll just have to strip to avoid catching a cold.”
“Really? Not even one t-shirt around?”
“Nah. It was a… err… a laundry day today, so it seems you’re fresh out of luck, luv.”
Buffy arched her eyebrow and wandered to the nearby dresser. Smiling, she drew it open and found a whole lot of folded t-shirts and shirts. “So what is this then?”
“Oh, those. Must have forgotten,” he said with false remorse.
“You’re impossible.”
She sent him a faux-annoyed glance over her shoulder before turning away and pulling the damp top she was wearing over her head and tossing it to the floor. Maybe it was her imagination, but she could swear she heard him choke. All he could see was her back, but she didn’t have time to put on a bra before dashing out of the house. With a happy sigh, she slipped a red shirt over her shoulders and buttoned it up. Then she unzipped the jeans before dropping them down and stepping out of the heap.
“All done,” she said and spun around to catch the dazed look in his eyes as he stared at her bare legs.
“Uhh… right. Done.”
Her whole body ached equally with the need to touch him and with the desire to just lie down and sleep. The entire horrid day made her limbs feel heavy with weariness, and she unsuccessfully tried to prevent a yawn.
“You tired, luv?”
She shook her head in denial.
“Come on, lie down for a bit, yeah? I won’t bother you. I can go downstairs and clean up or take a nap on the couch. It’s no big deal.” He stepped closer and lifted her hand to his lips to kiss the back before releasing it. “Alright?”
Buffy’s gaze fell on the huge inviting bed blanketed by his scent and her mind was made up.
“Okay. But… you don’t have to sleep on the couch. If you don’t mind, I’d like for you to just… hold me. Like you did back then.”
“If you’re sure. Gotta take a shower first though since I smell like booze.”
“Good idea.”
Buffy settled on the bed and watched him jump down from the loft.
“Show off,” she muttered.
“I heard that!”
*******
Ten minutes later, she heard Spike pace the floor below. Rising from the bed and shaking off the remnants of sleep, she walked to the edge and peered down.
“Aren’t you coming up?”
He gazed up at her, startled, and she just knew he’d been arguing with himself about whether he should stay down or come up.
“I was just about to.”
'Sure you were.'
As he climbed the stairs dressed only in his jeans, her eyes eagerly devoured every inch of exposed skin and suddenly the tiredness was the last thing on her mind. His fingers moved down his chest to rest at the waistband of his jeans and he slowly unbuckled the belt before slipping it out of the loops. The action made the muscles on his arm flex and Buffy swallowed, her eyes fixed on his every move. But then he stopped and she pouted in disappointment. When she realized he’d probably caught her staring, she lifted her gaze to his and blushed at the half-amused, half-aroused glint in his eyes.
“Come to bed?” he asked and his thick deep voice drew her towards the bed without any further thought.
The mattress dipped under her weight as she knelt on it and settled in the middle. Her heart started to pound faster as Spike followed her and crawled erotically across the bed until he loomed above her.
He lay down on his side and rested his palm on her stomach, the coolness of his touch setting her skin ablaze. She put her hand over his and turned her head to the side to look at him.
“Have I told you how much I missed you?” she asked. “How many times I wished for you to… I can’t believe you’re really here.”
He buried his face in the crook of her neck and pressed a lingering kiss to her skin. “I know. God, I know.”
*******
Spike soaked up her warmth and closed his eyes in contentment. The sheets rustled as she turned on her side and pressed her forehead against his. It didn’t matter how many times they’d kissed, it still shot a current of electricity along his nerves when she tentatively slanted her lips over his. He lifted his hand to tangle his fingers in her hair as she continued to tease his lips with soft kisses that left him aching.
Reluctant to change the pace she’d set, they kissed, lips exploring each other as if anew. Then the tip of her tongue caressed his bottom lip and he willingly parted his lips to meet her half way. The desire burned steadily and deeply as she hooked her leg over his hip and moaned into his mouth. His hand trailed down from her hair to caress the bare skin of her thigh, loving the way she had him under her thrall.
Buffy’s heartbeat thrummed against his chest and he slightly leaned away as he whispered her name against her swollen lips. “Buffy, you’re killing me here.”
“I am?”
He groaned and swooped in to steal another kiss from her. How could she expect him to control himself when she took his hand in hers and rested it above her breast? It almost drove him out of his mind, the way her lips quivered under his when he massaged her breast and passed his thumb over her hardened nipple.
“More,” she whispered and he rolled them over so she lay beneath him.
Buffy was the only one that could make him feel need like this, the slow steady beat of primal desire as she cradled him between her thighs, her nails softly scratching down his bare back.
“Take it off,” she said when he leaned away to let her breath and steered his fingers to rest against the buttons of the red shirt she was wearing. His gaze flickered to hers, the only thing there a raw naked submissiveness.
Spike sat back a bit, his unnecessary breath quickening at the sight of her splayed before him, chest heaving, lips parted. This was what he’d been missing. The intimacy. The connection. It had never been like this and his fingers shook as he tried to undo the small buttons.
They kept slipping from his grasp.
“Bugger.”
Buffy laughed and slapped his hands away. “Let me.”
He watched as she slowly undid each button and pouted at the fact she did a better job of it than he did. Surely he could make her mess up? He caressed her thighs, loving how they trembled before he reached the edges of her lacy knickers. Spike slipped his fingers under the edges and teased the smooth skin with his touch, still not reaching where she wanted him the most.
Apparently he was doing a good job when her fingers slipped across a button and she glared at him accusingly. The shirt had to go and he was getting impatient so he fisted the unbuttoned flaps of the shirt in his hands and yanked. The remaining buttons flew off and his eyes could finally feast on the naked flesh in front of him.
“You ruined your shirt.”
“I’ve got plenty more.”
“Are you going to stare or touch me already?”
Spike lifted his eyebrow and leaned in to take a nipple in his mouth. That drove the teasing expression right off her beautiful face and left the pleading one in its wake instead. He liked it.
A lot.
*******
Voices. There were so many muffled voices, faraway sounds that pounded in her head but she couldn’t wake up. The water was too thick, too deep, dragging her down as she tried to kick her legs faster to reach the unattainable surface.
Faith’s lungs fought to expand but she knew she couldn’t draw in a breath. If she did, she’d drown.
A violet light speared the darkness, glittering and safe as it coiled around her but still too far away from reach. Instinct told her to trust it and she gathered all her strength to latch onto the insubstantial pool of light. Half expecting her fingers to go right through it, it surprised her when it wrapped itself around her tightly and yanked.
With a gasp that left her coughing, Faith shot up in her bed. The fluorescent lamp blinded her so she shut her eyes, specks of colours still painfully dancing behind her closed eyelids. Something fell to the floor and shattered. The voices were all around her, language she couldn’t quite grasp. Where was she? What happened?
“Doctor,” someone yelled and strong hands pushed her back against the bed.
A wave of dizziness hit her, probably something to do with the pinch in her forearm. Faith clasped her fingers tightly around the bed railing and squeezed, feeling the metal bend under her hands before she drifted into dreamless sleep.
TBC
A/N: I've got a question for you guys. So, one of my betas will be unavailable until mid September, ergo me asking... do you want to wait until then for another chapter or should I post it looked at by only one beta. The grammar should be fine but there might be some weirdness plot-wise or 'Buffy wouldn't say that' and such. I'd re-edit it after she comes back from her holidays, but there is a possibility it'll suck before that. :/ Please be kind and let me know what you want. :)Oh, and of course tell me whether you liked the chapter.
Chapter thirty-seven
A/N: Muchos thanks to dawnofme and IveDiedTwice who stepped in for Mabel while she's on her holiday. I'll udpate once a week until Mabel gets back, just wanted to let you guys know. Also, this chapter might not be very work-safe. ;)
Banner made by talented xaphania
Chapter 37
Giles rolled over on his bed, trying to shake off the annoying ringing sound as he longed to plunge back into sleep. When it didn’t cease, he reluctantly opened one eye and fumbled on the nightstand for his glasses.
“Bloody pillocks calling at night,” he mumbled and staggered still half-asleep to the phone in the living room, snatching his glasses on the way to put them over his eyes.
He picked it up and snapped rather unpleasantly into the receiver, “What?”
“Umm… is that Mr.Giles?” sounded a female voice.
“Who else would it be?”
He knew he was being beyond rude but he had trouble recalling his manners when he was being yanked out of sleep so late at night. It brought out the crude careless side of his youth.
“This is St. Peter’s hospital and you’ve been listed as Faith Lehane’s next of kin-”
“What happened?” He was wide awake now and cold sweat broke out on his skin as he sat down on a nearby chair.
“She’s awake.”
“I knew this would… wait. Did you say ‘awake’?”
“Yes. We gave her some sedatives because she was in shock, but I thought you’d like to know. You may see her in the morning.”
“Thank you. I will.”
He hung up the phone and pressed his face into the upturned palms of his hands, chuckling weakly. Once the woman told him she was calling from the hospital, he was so sure Faith had given up the fight. But of course she wouldn’t. She was as stubborn as Buffy.
Buffy.
He had to tell her. She’d want to know.
Grinning widely, Giles gently knocked on her door then entered because her lack of response probably meant she was already asleep. The smile was quickly replaced by a frown of confusion as he noticed Buffy’s absence, her phone abandoned on the covers of her unmade bed.
It was too late to be on patrol, and she’d never leave without the phone.
So where was she?
*******
“How do you do it?” Spike asked before he shifted his attention to the other nipple, his ego soaring as she struggled to make sense of his words.
“Huh?”
Tracing the hardened peak with the tip of his tongue, Spike smiled at her lazily. “You smell-”
“I smell?” She wrinkled her nose and gasped when he nipped at her sensitive flesh with his blunt teeth.
“Delicious. Like a bowl of fruit.”
“It’s the… ummm… watermelon body wash.”
His hands dipped lower from her sides to trace wide circles on her hips, loving how she squirmed, needing his touch. The knickers had to go so he seized the sides and slipped them down her legs before tossing them over his shoulder and dropping on top of her again. Her naked curves were so sinful against the dark starkness of the sheets.
“That and pure Buffy.” He breathed in the delicious aroma of her skin. “I want to eat you right up.”
“Oh… o-okay.”
He smirked and peppered kisses down her quivering stomach. The flesh of her belly was so soft he couldn’t resist biting it a little. Apparently, Buffy didn’t seem to mind and her glazed eyes were fixed on him, her hands thrown above her head in a subconscious show of submissiveness that left his demon growling in pleasure.
“You want me to, Buffy? Taste your sweet juices? There will be no interruptions this time. Nothing to save you from the Big Bad.”
Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment as he flittingly grazed her clit with the tip of his tongue.
“D-don’t want to be… saved.”
God help him, the look she was sending his way would be his undoing. So innocent yet feisty. Willing to be his slave but wanting to fight him too, and he’d be damned twice if the tight jeans he had on didn’t just become a lot more restrictive.
“Be careful what you wish for.”
With that he bent down his head and tasted her, each swipe of his tongue wringing a breathy moan out of her throat. But he wouldn’t give her what she wanted yet, not even as she slid her arms to thread them through his already tousled hair. Slowly circling, always avoiding where she needed him the most, fingertips brushing, driving her mad.
“More.”
A lick. “More what?”
“Ugh… you know what.”
A finger tracing down her slit. “Like this?”
Her grip on his hair tightened as she arched up, desperation oozing from her every pore. “Need you to… to-”
Spike took pity on her and took her clit between his lips, sucking gently. When Buffy threw her head back and whispered his name, it took everything in his power not to unzip his jeans and take her hard and fast. No, he’d drive her wild first, feast on her until all she knew was his name as she whispered it from her lips.
The air around filled with her quick breaths and he gripped her straining thighs, his tongue flickering until one of her hands flew to the side to fist the sheet.
“Spike…”
He let up, forcing her to calm down before he renewed his efforts again. Over and over until she was almost sobbing with the need to release all the tension sizzling along her nerves.
He switched his mouth for his thumb in order to fully look at her, surrendered to sensations pooling in her veins.
“Touch your breasts,” he whispered and licked his lips.
It took her a moment to register his words and her hands slid to her breasts after a split second of realizing what he wanted her to do.
“That’s it. Good girl. Now squeeze those pretty nipples.”
Her eyelashes fluttered shut as she fulfilled his request and he could feel her internal muscles clenching as he slid a finger inside.
“Does it feel good?”
She nodded and gasped as he returned his skilled lips and tongue to the hard nubbin, two of his fingers now dipping inside her.
Her hips were in constant motion as she chased the sensations roaring through her body and he decided to take pity on her so he quickly fluttered his tongue against her clit while curling his fingers to brush that special spot inside. Buffy threw her head back, her mouth opened in soundless pleasure, too overwhelmed as her whole body shuddered, her walls squeezing around his thrusting fingers so hard he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from following her into oblivion.
Her muscles spasmed a few more times before she collapsed in a boneless heap and he put his cheek against her belly.
“Wow. That was… Mmmm.”
Being a male, Spike couldn’t resist a cocky grin that spread across his face. “So it was good, yeah?”
“If you’re fishing for compliments… what the hell, you deserve every compliment there is. I’m melted. I’m a puddle of Buffy goo.”
Spike slid his way up her body, his nerves zinging as his torso pressed against hers.
“I like Buffy goo.”
“My brain is too broken to reply to your innuendos right now.”
He leaned down to kiss her, loving how she wasn’t repulsed by the taste of her juices still lingering on his lips. Instead she moaned and slipped her tongue inside his mouth.
They parted and she breathed, “You’re still wearing pants.”
“Guess I am at that.”
Spike rolled off her to the side and he was just about to divest of his jeans as quickly as possible when he noticed the hungry look on Buffy’s face. Deliberately, he made his motions slow and teasing as he caressed his bare chest, slipped his fingers along his abdominals to let them rest on top of his crotch, rubbing slowly and driving himself crazy just as much as he was her.
Blush spilled across her cheeks but whether it was from embarrassment or lust, he couldn’t tell.
He unfastened his top button, and she licked her lips.
“Luv, if you keep looking at me like that, I’ll pop.”
Her eyes met his and there was a twinkle there that gave him pause. “Maybe I should just… help you out instead?”
“Bloody hell.”
Holding his breath, Spike watched as Buffy shuffled closer to him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture. He waited for her to gather her courage and when she finally did and rested her hand atop his, he couldn’t help but groan in anticipation.
When he noticed her uncertainty, he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm before resting it on his chest. It took every ounce of control to let her set the pace.
“You’ll tell me, won’t you? If I do something stupid?”
“Buffy, you can’t go wrong here, I promise.”
The corner of her lips quirked up in a smile. “I guess we’ll see.”
Fascinated, she spanned her fingers over his chest, her palm stilling over his heart. His eyes flickered to hers, wondering if she was bothered by his heart not beating. For a moment he wished it did so she’d know how much her proximity affected him.
The heat of her hands seared a path down to his belly as she circled his belly button with the softest expression on her face. His own hands trembled with the need to return the caress but it wasn’t the time. Not when her eyes were so wide with hunger of exploring every new sensation, starving to learn the secrets of his flesh. They hadn’t had an opportunity like this before and despite what Buffy may think, he’d never been touched like this.
No fumbling claws ripping into his skin, always taking but never giving anything in return.
Buffy was softness and tainted innocence that seeped into his flesh as she leaned over and pressed her lips into the curve of his neck.
His hands tangled in her hair as he whispered her name. Didn’t she know what she was doing to him? How her gentle touch and seeking lips burned into his very core?
“Love how soft your skin is right…” She slanted her lips beneath his jaw. “Here.”
The swell of her breast pressed into his side, and he caressed the nape of her neck, her hair tickling his skin. She lifted her head to drink in his face as she slid her finger down the line of hair disappearing behind the waistband and settled her palm over the bulge in his jeans, squeezing. He shuddered, barely managing to keep his eyes open and fixed on hers, showing her wordlessly the need she inspired.
The sooty lashes fluttered to cover her eyes as she pressed her nose against his cheek. Their ragged breaths the only sound before she pulled the zipper down. Then he was plunged forward into the world were pure sensations wrapped him in their embrace as her hand closed around his length.
Skin on skin.
Fire and ice.
His fingers tightened in her hair and she breathed a little bit faster, tuning in on his rising desire. His chest expanded with needless breath as she stroked him up and down, her thumb brushing against the tip.
“Is it… is it good?”
“More than… ugh. Buffy, more.”
She kept her pace steady as she nibbled on his earlobe and playfully said, “But what if I like it slow?”
He was utterly hers and she knew it. Thrived off every response she could read in his face, still tentative but gaining confidence as she watched him succumb to her. His flesh throbbed against her palm. Soft and hard. Just like the rest of him.
Buffy felt his desperation in the way his hips arched up, the way a small crease appeared on his forehead as he concentrated on every stroke she made.
“T-tighter,” he mumbled and she obliged, loving how entirely opened up and vulnerable he could be.
He turned his face to the side and sought out her lips with his, kissing her deeply and fervently as she quickened the pace.
She tore her lips away when his fingers closed over hers and halted her movement. The way he looked was so pained that for a moment she worried she’d done something wrong and hurt him.
“Wait, luv. If you keep that up… I won’t last.”
She understood the meaning behind his expression and felt a burst of feminine pride. “It’s okay. You can-”
He shook his head and leaned away slightly to pin her with an intense stare.
“No. I want to be inside you when I…”
Butterflies fluttered their wings in her belly, making her almost sick with nervous excitement. Suddenly, everything felt all too real as he circled his arms lovingly around her and rolled her onto her side.
“Are you scared?” he asked and she wanted to deny it and tell him to stop being silly because she was the Slayer and risked her life every night without a twinge of fear. But she didn’t want to lie to him. Not when he knew her better than anyone else. Not now.
“Yes.”
He gave her one of those smiles then. Not a smirk or a leer, but a real genuine smile that reflected in his eyes and spilled over her skin like liquid warmth. She never trusted anyone the way she trusted him.
“Don’t be. It’ll be amazing and you’ll feel so good. I promise. ”
“I know it will. I trust you,” she said with a shaky smile, feeling as if she was standing on a brink of something that would change her forever.
He kicked off his jeans and brushed his lips against hers in a gentlest of kisses. The second his bare skin molded to hers from chest to toe, shiver ran down her spine. There was no hurry as they lay on their sides, his fingers whispering down her back to trace the curve of her backside. Spike lifted her thigh and brought it over his hip, opening her up as he drugged her with his kisses.
Heat was spiraling through her now almost unbearably and her every cell screamed with the need to have him inside, filling her to the brink.
Without breaking the kiss, Buffy tightened her hold on him and fell on her back, bringing him atop her. Spike panted against her lips before lifting his head to look at her.
“I love you,” he said, and swooped down to silence her response.
She could feel the tip of his length pressing against her opening. Their eyes locked, her heart thrumming against his chest and her fingers squeezed his upper arms.
TBC
Banner made by talented xaphania
Chapter 37
Giles rolled over on his bed, trying to shake off the annoying ringing sound as he longed to plunge back into sleep. When it didn’t cease, he reluctantly opened one eye and fumbled on the nightstand for his glasses.
“Bloody pillocks calling at night,” he mumbled and staggered still half-asleep to the phone in the living room, snatching his glasses on the way to put them over his eyes.
He picked it up and snapped rather unpleasantly into the receiver, “What?”
“Umm… is that Mr.Giles?” sounded a female voice.
“Who else would it be?”
He knew he was being beyond rude but he had trouble recalling his manners when he was being yanked out of sleep so late at night. It brought out the crude careless side of his youth.
“This is St. Peter’s hospital and you’ve been listed as Faith Lehane’s next of kin-”
“What happened?” He was wide awake now and cold sweat broke out on his skin as he sat down on a nearby chair.
“She’s awake.”
“I knew this would… wait. Did you say ‘awake’?”
“Yes. We gave her some sedatives because she was in shock, but I thought you’d like to know. You may see her in the morning.”
“Thank you. I will.”
He hung up the phone and pressed his face into the upturned palms of his hands, chuckling weakly. Once the woman told him she was calling from the hospital, he was so sure Faith had given up the fight. But of course she wouldn’t. She was as stubborn as Buffy.
Buffy.
He had to tell her. She’d want to know.
Grinning widely, Giles gently knocked on her door then entered because her lack of response probably meant she was already asleep. The smile was quickly replaced by a frown of confusion as he noticed Buffy’s absence, her phone abandoned on the covers of her unmade bed.
It was too late to be on patrol, and she’d never leave without the phone.
So where was she?
*******
“How do you do it?” Spike asked before he shifted his attention to the other nipple, his ego soaring as she struggled to make sense of his words.
“Huh?”
Tracing the hardened peak with the tip of his tongue, Spike smiled at her lazily. “You smell-”
“I smell?” She wrinkled her nose and gasped when he nipped at her sensitive flesh with his blunt teeth.
“Delicious. Like a bowl of fruit.”
“It’s the… ummm… watermelon body wash.”
His hands dipped lower from her sides to trace wide circles on her hips, loving how she squirmed, needing his touch. The knickers had to go so he seized the sides and slipped them down her legs before tossing them over his shoulder and dropping on top of her again. Her naked curves were so sinful against the dark starkness of the sheets.
“That and pure Buffy.” He breathed in the delicious aroma of her skin. “I want to eat you right up.”
“Oh… o-okay.”
He smirked and peppered kisses down her quivering stomach. The flesh of her belly was so soft he couldn’t resist biting it a little. Apparently, Buffy didn’t seem to mind and her glazed eyes were fixed on him, her hands thrown above her head in a subconscious show of submissiveness that left his demon growling in pleasure.
“You want me to, Buffy? Taste your sweet juices? There will be no interruptions this time. Nothing to save you from the Big Bad.”
Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment as he flittingly grazed her clit with the tip of his tongue.
“D-don’t want to be… saved.”
God help him, the look she was sending his way would be his undoing. So innocent yet feisty. Willing to be his slave but wanting to fight him too, and he’d be damned twice if the tight jeans he had on didn’t just become a lot more restrictive.
“Be careful what you wish for.”
With that he bent down his head and tasted her, each swipe of his tongue wringing a breathy moan out of her throat. But he wouldn’t give her what she wanted yet, not even as she slid her arms to thread them through his already tousled hair. Slowly circling, always avoiding where she needed him the most, fingertips brushing, driving her mad.
“More.”
A lick. “More what?”
“Ugh… you know what.”
A finger tracing down her slit. “Like this?”
Her grip on his hair tightened as she arched up, desperation oozing from her every pore. “Need you to… to-”
Spike took pity on her and took her clit between his lips, sucking gently. When Buffy threw her head back and whispered his name, it took everything in his power not to unzip his jeans and take her hard and fast. No, he’d drive her wild first, feast on her until all she knew was his name as she whispered it from her lips.
The air around filled with her quick breaths and he gripped her straining thighs, his tongue flickering until one of her hands flew to the side to fist the sheet.
“Spike…”
He let up, forcing her to calm down before he renewed his efforts again. Over and over until she was almost sobbing with the need to release all the tension sizzling along her nerves.
He switched his mouth for his thumb in order to fully look at her, surrendered to sensations pooling in her veins.
“Touch your breasts,” he whispered and licked his lips.
It took her a moment to register his words and her hands slid to her breasts after a split second of realizing what he wanted her to do.
“That’s it. Good girl. Now squeeze those pretty nipples.”
Her eyelashes fluttered shut as she fulfilled his request and he could feel her internal muscles clenching as he slid a finger inside.
“Does it feel good?”
She nodded and gasped as he returned his skilled lips and tongue to the hard nubbin, two of his fingers now dipping inside her.
Her hips were in constant motion as she chased the sensations roaring through her body and he decided to take pity on her so he quickly fluttered his tongue against her clit while curling his fingers to brush that special spot inside. Buffy threw her head back, her mouth opened in soundless pleasure, too overwhelmed as her whole body shuddered, her walls squeezing around his thrusting fingers so hard he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from following her into oblivion.
Her muscles spasmed a few more times before she collapsed in a boneless heap and he put his cheek against her belly.
“Wow. That was… Mmmm.”
Being a male, Spike couldn’t resist a cocky grin that spread across his face. “So it was good, yeah?”
“If you’re fishing for compliments… what the hell, you deserve every compliment there is. I’m melted. I’m a puddle of Buffy goo.”
Spike slid his way up her body, his nerves zinging as his torso pressed against hers.
“I like Buffy goo.”
“My brain is too broken to reply to your innuendos right now.”
He leaned down to kiss her, loving how she wasn’t repulsed by the taste of her juices still lingering on his lips. Instead she moaned and slipped her tongue inside his mouth.
They parted and she breathed, “You’re still wearing pants.”
“Guess I am at that.”
Spike rolled off her to the side and he was just about to divest of his jeans as quickly as possible when he noticed the hungry look on Buffy’s face. Deliberately, he made his motions slow and teasing as he caressed his bare chest, slipped his fingers along his abdominals to let them rest on top of his crotch, rubbing slowly and driving himself crazy just as much as he was her.
Blush spilled across her cheeks but whether it was from embarrassment or lust, he couldn’t tell.
He unfastened his top button, and she licked her lips.
“Luv, if you keep looking at me like that, I’ll pop.”
Her eyes met his and there was a twinkle there that gave him pause. “Maybe I should just… help you out instead?”
“Bloody hell.”
Holding his breath, Spike watched as Buffy shuffled closer to him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture. He waited for her to gather her courage and when she finally did and rested her hand atop his, he couldn’t help but groan in anticipation.
When he noticed her uncertainty, he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm before resting it on his chest. It took every ounce of control to let her set the pace.
“You’ll tell me, won’t you? If I do something stupid?”
“Buffy, you can’t go wrong here, I promise.”
The corner of her lips quirked up in a smile. “I guess we’ll see.”
Fascinated, she spanned her fingers over his chest, her palm stilling over his heart. His eyes flickered to hers, wondering if she was bothered by his heart not beating. For a moment he wished it did so she’d know how much her proximity affected him.
The heat of her hands seared a path down to his belly as she circled his belly button with the softest expression on her face. His own hands trembled with the need to return the caress but it wasn’t the time. Not when her eyes were so wide with hunger of exploring every new sensation, starving to learn the secrets of his flesh. They hadn’t had an opportunity like this before and despite what Buffy may think, he’d never been touched like this.
No fumbling claws ripping into his skin, always taking but never giving anything in return.
Buffy was softness and tainted innocence that seeped into his flesh as she leaned over and pressed her lips into the curve of his neck.
His hands tangled in her hair as he whispered her name. Didn’t she know what she was doing to him? How her gentle touch and seeking lips burned into his very core?
“Love how soft your skin is right…” She slanted her lips beneath his jaw. “Here.”
The swell of her breast pressed into his side, and he caressed the nape of her neck, her hair tickling his skin. She lifted her head to drink in his face as she slid her finger down the line of hair disappearing behind the waistband and settled her palm over the bulge in his jeans, squeezing. He shuddered, barely managing to keep his eyes open and fixed on hers, showing her wordlessly the need she inspired.
The sooty lashes fluttered to cover her eyes as she pressed her nose against his cheek. Their ragged breaths the only sound before she pulled the zipper down. Then he was plunged forward into the world were pure sensations wrapped him in their embrace as her hand closed around his length.
Skin on skin.
Fire and ice.
His fingers tightened in her hair and she breathed a little bit faster, tuning in on his rising desire. His chest expanded with needless breath as she stroked him up and down, her thumb brushing against the tip.
“Is it… is it good?”
“More than… ugh. Buffy, more.”
She kept her pace steady as she nibbled on his earlobe and playfully said, “But what if I like it slow?”
He was utterly hers and she knew it. Thrived off every response she could read in his face, still tentative but gaining confidence as she watched him succumb to her. His flesh throbbed against her palm. Soft and hard. Just like the rest of him.
Buffy felt his desperation in the way his hips arched up, the way a small crease appeared on his forehead as he concentrated on every stroke she made.
“T-tighter,” he mumbled and she obliged, loving how entirely opened up and vulnerable he could be.
He turned his face to the side and sought out her lips with his, kissing her deeply and fervently as she quickened the pace.
She tore her lips away when his fingers closed over hers and halted her movement. The way he looked was so pained that for a moment she worried she’d done something wrong and hurt him.
“Wait, luv. If you keep that up… I won’t last.”
She understood the meaning behind his expression and felt a burst of feminine pride. “It’s okay. You can-”
He shook his head and leaned away slightly to pin her with an intense stare.
“No. I want to be inside you when I…”
Butterflies fluttered their wings in her belly, making her almost sick with nervous excitement. Suddenly, everything felt all too real as he circled his arms lovingly around her and rolled her onto her side.
“Are you scared?” he asked and she wanted to deny it and tell him to stop being silly because she was the Slayer and risked her life every night without a twinge of fear. But she didn’t want to lie to him. Not when he knew her better than anyone else. Not now.
“Yes.”
He gave her one of those smiles then. Not a smirk or a leer, but a real genuine smile that reflected in his eyes and spilled over her skin like liquid warmth. She never trusted anyone the way she trusted him.
“Don’t be. It’ll be amazing and you’ll feel so good. I promise. ”
“I know it will. I trust you,” she said with a shaky smile, feeling as if she was standing on a brink of something that would change her forever.
He kicked off his jeans and brushed his lips against hers in a gentlest of kisses. The second his bare skin molded to hers from chest to toe, shiver ran down her spine. There was no hurry as they lay on their sides, his fingers whispering down her back to trace the curve of her backside. Spike lifted her thigh and brought it over his hip, opening her up as he drugged her with his kisses.
Heat was spiraling through her now almost unbearably and her every cell screamed with the need to have him inside, filling her to the brink.
Without breaking the kiss, Buffy tightened her hold on him and fell on her back, bringing him atop her. Spike panted against her lips before lifting his head to look at her.
“I love you,” he said, and swooped down to silence her response.
She could feel the tip of his length pressing against her opening. Their eyes locked, her heart thrumming against his chest and her fingers squeezed his upper arms.
TBC
Chapter thirty-eight
A/N: Tuesday's here! :D Which means update of course. I felt like writing a Spuffy chapter so I hope you don't mind. There's a lot going on in the next one. ;)
Lovely betas for this chapter are dawnofme and IveDiedTwice.
Wonderful banner by xaphania.
Chapter 38
Spike hovered above her, his gaze devouring her as he pressed forward and stretched her to the limit. It felt as though the rapture drowning his face was mirrored in her own expression as he slowly inched inside her. She tightened her grip on him when he halted and encountered the barrier inside.
He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ and thrust forward. The pain paled in comparison to the feeling of having him inside her so fully and completely. His forehead fell to rest on her shoulder, and she trembled with the overwhelming sensation of being one with him as need pooled in her belly, pulsing and demanding friction.
“Spike,” she murmured, wanting to chant his name as it burned the tip of her tongue, letting him know she craved more. He was all there was. Straining above her, throbbing inside her, their scents merging. The centre of her universe and source of those breathless ripples of pleasure unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
He pulled back and thrust into her again, the drag of his thick length stroking the blazing fire inside her into a raging inferno. Instinct ruled her as she lifted her lips to meet him in the ever quickening collision. When she lifted her legs to cross them behind him, he sank impossibly deeper, touching spots inside that tore a moan out of her throat.
“Buffy, so good. God… so tight.”
His deep rough voice slithered over her like a caress, making her skin tingle in its wake.
His cool breath tickled her lips before he claimed them in a possessive kiss that stole her breath away. When she was sure it couldn’t feel any better, he scattered touches up her ribcage and cupped her breasts, sending sharp shots of arousal into her core as his fingers flicked her nipples. Her toes curled when he twisted his hips, pushing into her anew.
The almost obscene sound of their moans and flesh slapping against flesh only turned her on more, and she trailed her fingernails down the sinewy muscles shifting beneath the smooth skin of his back.
The instant his lips broke away, she blindly followed to seek them out again. He slid his hands under her back and lifted her up as he sat back. The new position made her gasp, and she dropped her forehead against his as she sought purchase on his broad shoulders.
“Mmm… So deep,” she said and experimentally moved her hips in a circle.
His hands flew to her hips, fingers grasping almost painfully as he urged her to move. Every jerk of her pelvis sent a powerful jolt through her, threatening to push her over the invisible precipice. Spike peppered her face with kisses, mumbling praises and words that should have made her blush but instead spurred her on to move faster.
“Buffy, you feel so... Gonna burn me alive. Christ!”
He gritted his teeth and slid his hands under her ass to help her move on top of him faster as he lifted his hips to meet her halfway. The heat was spreading through her core, tightening her skin to the point where every brush of his skin drew her closer to the edge.
She locked gazes with him, her world narrowing down to the swirling emotions buried in the depth of his eyes.
*******
She unmade him. With every little movement, every look she sent his way as she gripped him inside her wet velvet heat. He dragged his fingers up her perspiring back and cupped her lovely face to bring her close enough to kiss her. The sweetness of her quivering lips made his heart expand with love for her. God, he loved her so much it almost hurt.
Spike banded his arms around her and collapsed on the rumpled sheets. Her breasts pressed to his chest, her body undulating on top of his as she breathed heavily against his lips.
“Spike, I’m so close.”
“I know, luv.”
She tightened around him, and his fingers gripped her sides, lifting her up and slamming her down, leaning in close enough to suck her nipple into his mouth as she arched her back and shuddered against him. Her inner muscles swelled and fluttered around him, the spasms so hard he could barely move. Buffy cried out his name, her movements faltering as she pressed her forehead to his.
Need pounded through his veins, his hands slipping down her thighs as he thrust up into her once, twice and the world melted away as the climax seized his body, colours flickering behind his closed eyelids.
Spike came back to his senses with Buffy kissing his temple, her skin warm and flushed as they embraced. When she climbed off him, he grunted in disapproval at losing the intimate contact so he rolled over and gathered her into his arms.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“Incredible.” She rubbed his back, her legs entangled with his. “You?”
Before he could put a stop to his inherent instinct, a purr rumbled through his chest. If he could, he would be blushing like a right git at the sound. It was probably a good thing he was naked and lying down because otherwise, he might be tempted to stick his hands in the pockets of his jeans and toe the ground in embarrassment.
But Buffy didn’t seem to mind the unmanly show of contentment as she stroked his chest and nuzzled his neck. The demon in him strained to own her, to feel his teeth digging into her supple skin. To tie her to him so he would never have to be apart from her again. She’d probably run for the hills if she knew how much he craved for her. Then again, maybe not.
“This is nice. I wish we could stay like this forever.”
“Why can’t we? Bugger the world.”
Buffy laughed. “Yes, bugger the world!”
“That seems so bloody strange coming out of your mouth.”
She sighed. “I suck at accents.”
“Hmm… Buffy sucking.”
She slapped his bare ass, proceeding to make him more aroused rather than chastised. It wasn’t as though he minded a little punishment.
“Oh yes, do it again.”
She blushed and pinched him instead.
He growled.
“You’re such a pervert.”
“Hey, you’re the one with the spanking, kitten.”
“I am not!”
He arched his brow, amused at her display of denial.
She giggled, unable to keep up the charade of being serious. “How was I supposed to know it would turn you on?”
“There a lot of things that turn me on.”
“Oh, I know! Cross dressing!”
Now he was the one to slap her backside, but he got distracted and started to caress her instead.
“Hey!”
His eyes widened in fake innocence. “What?”
“Already?”
“Mmm… you’re all naked. I’m just a guy, you know. It’s a perfectly natural reaction.”
She fell silent and he could see something was bothering her, so he waited. He didn’t have to wait long.
“Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you… did you like it?”
He leaned back and searched her face. “Buffy, this was the best moment in my entire existence.” He kissed her deeply, hoping to convey everything he felt. “Don’t ever doubt that. You’re the only person that can make me feel this way. Alright?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for acting all weird.”
“Nothing weird with that, sweetheart. You can always tell me everything. We’re friends too, aren’t we? With bloody amazing benefits though.”
Buffy giggled and traced his chest with her fingertip, her cheeks slightly reddening as she glanced up at him from beneath her thick lashes. “Can we do it again?”
He grinned and swallowed her lips in an eager kiss.
*******
Buffy stirred awake and struggled to recall her whereabouts since her brain seemed to have trouble working properly. As she opened her bleary eyes and noticed the tousled looking Spike lying beneath her, it all came back.
Beginnings of a morning light pilfered through the thick curtains downstairs, and she rubbed her tired eyes. How much sleep did they get? An hour? Maybe two?
Spike lay still, one of his arms circling her waist in a loose embrace. Not having the heart to wake him, but unable to help herself, Buffy nibbled on the vulnerable skin of his neck. The way he tasted and smelled drove her wild and she stroked his chest, shifting even closer to him.
“Mmm… Buffy,” he muttered and she glanced up, expecting to see him gazing at her, but he still seemed to be asleep. He smacked his lips.
Buffy hid her face in his neck, trying to stifle a giggle. It was difficult to deal with such amount of cuteness so early in the morning without being amused.
“Yeah,” he mumbled and tightened his hold on her waist.
It sure must have been a pleasant dream, judging from his aroused state now tenting the thin sheets. After making love for hours without him even needing to catch his breath, it really shouldn’t have surprised her. But she couldn’t help but be incredulous. Her hand brushed off the sheet and wandered to his abdomen, tracing the strip of hair south of his belly button. It was kind of exciting to touch him while he slept.
'Who would have thought he’d turn me into such a ho-biscuit?'
It was easier too, to explore when he wasn’t staring at her with an intensity that made her hands shake. She checked to see if he was still asleep and traced his hard length with the tip of her finger. A sigh. She took him in her hand and slowly stroked. Up and down. Squeezed the tip.
Spike shifted and his lips parted to let out a guttural moan. Still asleep though. Buffy turned her attention back to the task at hand and squirmed from feeling his flesh thickening further under her ministrations. A drop of liquid appeared at the tip and she glanced briefly at his face before swiping it with her forefinger and bringing it to her lips. She licked it skeptically.
Not that icky. Certainly not the best thing she’d ever tasted, but it was nice. Smooth. A part of Spike, which meant she loved it because she loved everything about him even though she hadn’t told him in a long time.
She grasped him again, exploring every vein and ridge on his flesh. His hand suddenly dug into her waist as he came to with a gasp. Feeling embarrassed, Buffy glanced up into his stormy eyes.
“Good morning?” she said.
He purred. “Luv, if you wanted to wank me, all you had to do was ask.”
Oh, that smirk on his face provoked her to do unspeakable things.
“Couldn’t help myself.”
His eyes turned dark and he cupped the back of her neck to bring her into a deep kiss, his tongue tangling with hers. Before she could realize he’d leaned back, he was pushing her to lie on her side with his chest pressing into her back as he drew her thigh over his and slid inside in a few slow strokes.
“Oh, that’s… ugh.”
“You like it?” he asked with mischief in his voice as he caressed her breasts and stomach with his fingers, sinful lips teasing her neck.
Breathing too heavily, she only nodded and reached behind to touch him in any way she could.
“Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…. Love you.”
She wished she could see his face when he said it. To be the source of the all that focus radiating from his expressive eyes. All too soon, the pleasure was spiraling out of control as he quickened his thrusts, his fingers slipping over her clitoris. She flew over the edge, sensations exploding inside her before she could feel him follow her into completion.
When he pulled out of her, she missed the intimate contact immediately so she turned to face him, their lips softly touching in an unhurried kiss.
“What a way to wake up. We should do this every day,” he said.
She let out a laugh. “I’m all for it, but don’t know what Giles-”
'Oh shit. What if he finds out I’m not there? How late is it exactly?'
“Buffy?”
“Huh?”
“You spaced out there. You alright?”
She sat up and scrambled off the bed, rushing over to the dresser where her clothes-- which had dried during the night-- were draped over the chair. “I gotta go home. Spike, what time is it?”
“Don’t know. Seven or so?”
“Seven! Giles wakes up at six! Shit, I’m gonna be in so much trouble. What the hell am I going to say to him?”
While she yanked the clothes on, Spike crawled to the edge of bed, his nudity distracting her for a moment.
“What about telling him the truth?”
“What? You think I should tell my watcher I slept with a vampire all night?” She snorted. “He’d be so proud of me, I bet.”
He hung his head and picked at the linen, making her feel like she was the most insensitive person in the world. Not knowing what to do, Buffy knelt down and peered up at his hurt expression.
“That’s not how I meant it. I’m sorry. I’ll tell him, it’s just… I can imagine how disappointed he will be in me.”
The muscle in his cheek twitched.
“But I would never change anything about last night. You know how much it meant to me,” Buffy said.
“I thought so, but-”
“No buts. Spike, you’re the only one I…” She took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Not Giles, not anyone.”
Shock washed over his face before he slid down next to her so he could stare her directly in the eyes.
“You do? Really? You’re not just mollycoddling me before giving me the brush off, are you?”
“Do you honestly think I’d say those words without meaning them?’
He shook his head and caressed her cheek. “Sorry for being so touchy. I get insecure, as you well know.”
“You’re not. I was just being a butthead. Sorry.”
“No more apologies. Tell me the other thing instead?”
“Umm… I like it when you’re naked?”
He growled.
“Okay, jeez,” she said then turned serious. “I love you.”
“If you don’t leave right now, I’m gonna shag you until you can’t walk.”
With a squeak, Buffy stood up then bent down briefly to give him a quick kiss before racing down the stairs.
She just hoped no catastrophe had happened while she was gone.
TBC
Lovely betas for this chapter are dawnofme and IveDiedTwice.
Wonderful banner by xaphania.
Chapter 38
Spike hovered above her, his gaze devouring her as he pressed forward and stretched her to the limit. It felt as though the rapture drowning his face was mirrored in her own expression as he slowly inched inside her. She tightened her grip on him when he halted and encountered the barrier inside.
He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ and thrust forward. The pain paled in comparison to the feeling of having him inside her so fully and completely. His forehead fell to rest on her shoulder, and she trembled with the overwhelming sensation of being one with him as need pooled in her belly, pulsing and demanding friction.
“Spike,” she murmured, wanting to chant his name as it burned the tip of her tongue, letting him know she craved more. He was all there was. Straining above her, throbbing inside her, their scents merging. The centre of her universe and source of those breathless ripples of pleasure unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
He pulled back and thrust into her again, the drag of his thick length stroking the blazing fire inside her into a raging inferno. Instinct ruled her as she lifted her lips to meet him in the ever quickening collision. When she lifted her legs to cross them behind him, he sank impossibly deeper, touching spots inside that tore a moan out of her throat.
“Buffy, so good. God… so tight.”
His deep rough voice slithered over her like a caress, making her skin tingle in its wake.
His cool breath tickled her lips before he claimed them in a possessive kiss that stole her breath away. When she was sure it couldn’t feel any better, he scattered touches up her ribcage and cupped her breasts, sending sharp shots of arousal into her core as his fingers flicked her nipples. Her toes curled when he twisted his hips, pushing into her anew.
The almost obscene sound of their moans and flesh slapping against flesh only turned her on more, and she trailed her fingernails down the sinewy muscles shifting beneath the smooth skin of his back.
The instant his lips broke away, she blindly followed to seek them out again. He slid his hands under her back and lifted her up as he sat back. The new position made her gasp, and she dropped her forehead against his as she sought purchase on his broad shoulders.
“Mmm… So deep,” she said and experimentally moved her hips in a circle.
His hands flew to her hips, fingers grasping almost painfully as he urged her to move. Every jerk of her pelvis sent a powerful jolt through her, threatening to push her over the invisible precipice. Spike peppered her face with kisses, mumbling praises and words that should have made her blush but instead spurred her on to move faster.
“Buffy, you feel so... Gonna burn me alive. Christ!”
He gritted his teeth and slid his hands under her ass to help her move on top of him faster as he lifted his hips to meet her halfway. The heat was spreading through her core, tightening her skin to the point where every brush of his skin drew her closer to the edge.
She locked gazes with him, her world narrowing down to the swirling emotions buried in the depth of his eyes.
*******
She unmade him. With every little movement, every look she sent his way as she gripped him inside her wet velvet heat. He dragged his fingers up her perspiring back and cupped her lovely face to bring her close enough to kiss her. The sweetness of her quivering lips made his heart expand with love for her. God, he loved her so much it almost hurt.
Spike banded his arms around her and collapsed on the rumpled sheets. Her breasts pressed to his chest, her body undulating on top of his as she breathed heavily against his lips.
“Spike, I’m so close.”
“I know, luv.”
She tightened around him, and his fingers gripped her sides, lifting her up and slamming her down, leaning in close enough to suck her nipple into his mouth as she arched her back and shuddered against him. Her inner muscles swelled and fluttered around him, the spasms so hard he could barely move. Buffy cried out his name, her movements faltering as she pressed her forehead to his.
Need pounded through his veins, his hands slipping down her thighs as he thrust up into her once, twice and the world melted away as the climax seized his body, colours flickering behind his closed eyelids.
Spike came back to his senses with Buffy kissing his temple, her skin warm and flushed as they embraced. When she climbed off him, he grunted in disapproval at losing the intimate contact so he rolled over and gathered her into his arms.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“Incredible.” She rubbed his back, her legs entangled with his. “You?”
Before he could put a stop to his inherent instinct, a purr rumbled through his chest. If he could, he would be blushing like a right git at the sound. It was probably a good thing he was naked and lying down because otherwise, he might be tempted to stick his hands in the pockets of his jeans and toe the ground in embarrassment.
But Buffy didn’t seem to mind the unmanly show of contentment as she stroked his chest and nuzzled his neck. The demon in him strained to own her, to feel his teeth digging into her supple skin. To tie her to him so he would never have to be apart from her again. She’d probably run for the hills if she knew how much he craved for her. Then again, maybe not.
“This is nice. I wish we could stay like this forever.”
“Why can’t we? Bugger the world.”
Buffy laughed. “Yes, bugger the world!”
“That seems so bloody strange coming out of your mouth.”
She sighed. “I suck at accents.”
“Hmm… Buffy sucking.”
She slapped his bare ass, proceeding to make him more aroused rather than chastised. It wasn’t as though he minded a little punishment.
“Oh yes, do it again.”
She blushed and pinched him instead.
He growled.
“You’re such a pervert.”
“Hey, you’re the one with the spanking, kitten.”
“I am not!”
He arched his brow, amused at her display of denial.
She giggled, unable to keep up the charade of being serious. “How was I supposed to know it would turn you on?”
“There a lot of things that turn me on.”
“Oh, I know! Cross dressing!”
Now he was the one to slap her backside, but he got distracted and started to caress her instead.
“Hey!”
His eyes widened in fake innocence. “What?”
“Already?”
“Mmm… you’re all naked. I’m just a guy, you know. It’s a perfectly natural reaction.”
She fell silent and he could see something was bothering her, so he waited. He didn’t have to wait long.
“Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you… did you like it?”
He leaned back and searched her face. “Buffy, this was the best moment in my entire existence.” He kissed her deeply, hoping to convey everything he felt. “Don’t ever doubt that. You’re the only person that can make me feel this way. Alright?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for acting all weird.”
“Nothing weird with that, sweetheart. You can always tell me everything. We’re friends too, aren’t we? With bloody amazing benefits though.”
Buffy giggled and traced his chest with her fingertip, her cheeks slightly reddening as she glanced up at him from beneath her thick lashes. “Can we do it again?”
He grinned and swallowed her lips in an eager kiss.
*******
Buffy stirred awake and struggled to recall her whereabouts since her brain seemed to have trouble working properly. As she opened her bleary eyes and noticed the tousled looking Spike lying beneath her, it all came back.
Beginnings of a morning light pilfered through the thick curtains downstairs, and she rubbed her tired eyes. How much sleep did they get? An hour? Maybe two?
Spike lay still, one of his arms circling her waist in a loose embrace. Not having the heart to wake him, but unable to help herself, Buffy nibbled on the vulnerable skin of his neck. The way he tasted and smelled drove her wild and she stroked his chest, shifting even closer to him.
“Mmm… Buffy,” he muttered and she glanced up, expecting to see him gazing at her, but he still seemed to be asleep. He smacked his lips.
Buffy hid her face in his neck, trying to stifle a giggle. It was difficult to deal with such amount of cuteness so early in the morning without being amused.
“Yeah,” he mumbled and tightened his hold on her waist.
It sure must have been a pleasant dream, judging from his aroused state now tenting the thin sheets. After making love for hours without him even needing to catch his breath, it really shouldn’t have surprised her. But she couldn’t help but be incredulous. Her hand brushed off the sheet and wandered to his abdomen, tracing the strip of hair south of his belly button. It was kind of exciting to touch him while he slept.
'Who would have thought he’d turn me into such a ho-biscuit?'
It was easier too, to explore when he wasn’t staring at her with an intensity that made her hands shake. She checked to see if he was still asleep and traced his hard length with the tip of her finger. A sigh. She took him in her hand and slowly stroked. Up and down. Squeezed the tip.
Spike shifted and his lips parted to let out a guttural moan. Still asleep though. Buffy turned her attention back to the task at hand and squirmed from feeling his flesh thickening further under her ministrations. A drop of liquid appeared at the tip and she glanced briefly at his face before swiping it with her forefinger and bringing it to her lips. She licked it skeptically.
Not that icky. Certainly not the best thing she’d ever tasted, but it was nice. Smooth. A part of Spike, which meant she loved it because she loved everything about him even though she hadn’t told him in a long time.
She grasped him again, exploring every vein and ridge on his flesh. His hand suddenly dug into her waist as he came to with a gasp. Feeling embarrassed, Buffy glanced up into his stormy eyes.
“Good morning?” she said.
He purred. “Luv, if you wanted to wank me, all you had to do was ask.”
Oh, that smirk on his face provoked her to do unspeakable things.
“Couldn’t help myself.”
His eyes turned dark and he cupped the back of her neck to bring her into a deep kiss, his tongue tangling with hers. Before she could realize he’d leaned back, he was pushing her to lie on her side with his chest pressing into her back as he drew her thigh over his and slid inside in a few slow strokes.
“Oh, that’s… ugh.”
“You like it?” he asked with mischief in his voice as he caressed her breasts and stomach with his fingers, sinful lips teasing her neck.
Breathing too heavily, she only nodded and reached behind to touch him in any way she could.
“Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…. Love you.”
She wished she could see his face when he said it. To be the source of the all that focus radiating from his expressive eyes. All too soon, the pleasure was spiraling out of control as he quickened his thrusts, his fingers slipping over her clitoris. She flew over the edge, sensations exploding inside her before she could feel him follow her into completion.
When he pulled out of her, she missed the intimate contact immediately so she turned to face him, their lips softly touching in an unhurried kiss.
“What a way to wake up. We should do this every day,” he said.
She let out a laugh. “I’m all for it, but don’t know what Giles-”
'Oh shit. What if he finds out I’m not there? How late is it exactly?'
“Buffy?”
“Huh?”
“You spaced out there. You alright?”
She sat up and scrambled off the bed, rushing over to the dresser where her clothes-- which had dried during the night-- were draped over the chair. “I gotta go home. Spike, what time is it?”
“Don’t know. Seven or so?”
“Seven! Giles wakes up at six! Shit, I’m gonna be in so much trouble. What the hell am I going to say to him?”
While she yanked the clothes on, Spike crawled to the edge of bed, his nudity distracting her for a moment.
“What about telling him the truth?”
“What? You think I should tell my watcher I slept with a vampire all night?” She snorted. “He’d be so proud of me, I bet.”
He hung his head and picked at the linen, making her feel like she was the most insensitive person in the world. Not knowing what to do, Buffy knelt down and peered up at his hurt expression.
“That’s not how I meant it. I’m sorry. I’ll tell him, it’s just… I can imagine how disappointed he will be in me.”
The muscle in his cheek twitched.
“But I would never change anything about last night. You know how much it meant to me,” Buffy said.
“I thought so, but-”
“No buts. Spike, you’re the only one I…” She took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Not Giles, not anyone.”
Shock washed over his face before he slid down next to her so he could stare her directly in the eyes.
“You do? Really? You’re not just mollycoddling me before giving me the brush off, are you?”
“Do you honestly think I’d say those words without meaning them?’
He shook his head and caressed her cheek. “Sorry for being so touchy. I get insecure, as you well know.”
“You’re not. I was just being a butthead. Sorry.”
“No more apologies. Tell me the other thing instead?”
“Umm… I like it when you’re naked?”
He growled.
“Okay, jeez,” she said then turned serious. “I love you.”
“If you don’t leave right now, I’m gonna shag you until you can’t walk.”
With a squeak, Buffy stood up then bent down briefly to give him a quick kiss before racing down the stairs.
She just hoped no catastrophe had happened while she was gone.
TBC
Chapter thirty-nine
A/N: Beta'd by lovely dawnofme and IveDiedTwice.
Plot ensues! :D
Lovely banner by xaphania
Chapter 39
Her heart pounded as she ran all the way home from Spike’s apartment, wishing against hope that Giles had overslept. 'Shyeah, like that would happen.' Maybe she could sneak into her room and pretend she’d just woken up? Or act as if she woke earlier and went for a morning walk.
Except, Giles knew her well so he was aware how Faith had to drag her out of bed every morning so they wouldn’t miss school. Life of a Chosen One wasn’t very complementary to getting a good night’s sleep.
Buffy dashed down the street then slowed down, trying to calm down her breath so she wouldn’t look so out of sorts. Fishing in the pockets of her jeans for the keys, she walked up to the front door. Only there weren’t any keys.
'Crap! Must have lost them at Spike’s place.'
That thought inevitably led thoughts of how she might have lost them.
'Always check for fallen out keys after taking off your pants.'
Fighting off the urge to bang her head against the door in frustration, she rounded the house and peered into her room. She didn’t lock the window so she should be able to get in undetected after all.
She grasped the window and pulled.
'Nope. Locked out. Double crap!'
Giles must have locked it, which meant he must have been in her room and noticed her glaring absence.
With a defeated step, Buffy walked to the front door and rang the bell. She didn’t have to wait long for Giles to open the door, his face relaxing and regaining some of its colour when he met her eyes. Guilt immediately smashed into her gut for worrying him.
“Buffy, where have you been all night? Are you alright?”
He ushered her inside and she closed the door, her shoulders slumped.
Lie or tell the truth? Could she even lie to him? Keeping stuff from Giles was one thing but outright lying to his face after being asked directly… he’d know. Wouldn’t he?
“I… umm… stuff happened.” Okay, that was true, if not a little vague. Maybe he’d drop the subject.
“Stuff? Buffy, I’ve been awake all night waiting for you, bloody worried about what might have happened to you!”
Okay, he was swearing. And raising his voice. That was a bad sign, and the guilt inside only gnawed at her more.
“If I tell you where I was, will you be angry with me?”
Giles sighed and took off his glasses with a tired gesture and sat in the armchair. “Do I have a reason to be?”
“N-no.” She hated how young and silly he made her feel with that half-skeptical, half-worried look on his face. “I mean… I was just-”
“I will not be angry with you, Buffy. Just please stop keeping me in suspense. I have some news to tell you as well.”
“News? Really?” She perched on the armrest of the sofa.
“First finish telling me what happened. You won’t get out of it so easily.”
“Okay… I was out. P-patrolling?”
“Are you asking me?” he asked with some amusement in his voice. “You never go patrolling without taking your phone.”
“Oh. I must have forgotten when I… okay, so I wasn’t patrolling. Not exactly.”
“I would never have guessed.”
She sent him a dirty look. “No need to be all sarcastic Watcher.” She gnawed at her lip and averted her eyes. “You’ll be mad.”
Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. “Buffy.”
“Would you stop saying my name that way? It makes me feel all… like I did something wrong and I swear I didn’t. I was… I was with Spike.”
She kept her eyes fixed on her hands, unable to look up and see the disapproval written all over his face.
“Spike. The vampire.”
“That’s not all he is, you know.”
“Isn’t he?” Giles asked with curiosity, and she lifted her gaze.
“No. He’s more than that. He’s…” Mine. “William. He’s not like the others. I’m not saying he’s a saint or that he’s not a demon, but… don’t we all have darkness inside?”
Giles shifted in his seat, and now he was the one to avert his eyes. Was he hiding something from her? A dark past perhaps? The very idea was ludicrous.
“I suppose we do, but he’s not merely a human with dark tendencies. He is evil. A murderer.”
She crossed her arms across her chest. “Aren’t I? A murderer?”
“Buffy… you’re a warrior of good, you’re-”
“That doesn’t change the fact I kill. Does the purpose even matter? I enjoy it, Giles. The Slayer part of me, that primal energy inside thrives off the hunt. You don’t know what it’s like. That feeling of being above the law. It’s hard not to let it get to your head. Spike gets that. He understands the violence inside, just as he understands my need to be just Buffy.”
Giles regarded her silently, and the scrutiny almost made her cringe but she didn’t even blink.
“You’re right. I don’t know what it is like to be a slayer. But I think you’re too blinded by your past acquaintance with William to see Spike for what he truly is. All you see is the face of a man you loved, and I know it’s hard t-”
“That’s not true. Don’t you think I truly realize what he is, what he’s capable of? I saw him for what he is. You’re right. I do see William when I look at Spike. Because he is a part of him. They’re not two separate entities.”
“You cannot trust him. It’ll get you killed!”
“No. It won’t. Maybe he’s the reason I’ll live longer.”
Giles shook his head and rose from the armchair. “You’re an adult, and I can’t make you do something you don’t want, but I advise you to be careful. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you too.”
“I know. And I will be careful, but I swear to you… Spike won’t hurt me.” She still saw he wasn’t convinced. “I wouldn’t let him.”
He tipped his head in a sign of acknowledgment. Even if he could never trust a vampire, he could always trust her.
“They called from the hospital.”
Buffy shot to her feet, the panic growing inside her chest making the breathing difficult. “W-what… what did they say? Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Giles smiled. “She’s awake.”
She hadn’t realized how tense her every muscle was until he said those words and the tension flew out of her body. “How? When? We’ve got to go!”
“We will, don’t worry. Go take a shower and have a bite to eat.”
“But I have to go right now!”
“Faith will still be there even if you take fifteen minutes to clean up.”
She was about to argue further then remembered how she’d spent the night. Perhaps she could spare a few minutes to have a shower so she wouldn’t be all stinky Buffy smelling like… well, like she’d been shagged six ways from Sunday, as Spike would probably say.
Ten minutes later, she and Giles were on their way to the hospital.
*******
Faith dug dispassionately into the bland food lying on a tray in her lap. It had been maybe an hour since she had awoken from the drug induced sleep and she was already bored. The doctor came by to check on her and told her she’d been brought in due to massive blood loss, commenting on the amazing rate Faith was recovering at from the coma. What caused her injuries, he didn’t say.
It wasn’t as though she couldn’t recall.
Her hand stroked the bandage wrapped around her neck, remembering the feeling of hot torrents of blood pouring over her hands when the vampire slit her throat.
But something had changed. She didn’t know exactly, but the dreams plaguing her subconscious were filled with girls fighting demons. The Slayers. And she sure as hell didn’t feel as weak as she probably should after waking from a coma. But it couldn’t be her. She was too old. And if it was true, if she had indeed become the Slayer, that would mean…
Buffy.
Faith pushed the food away right as the nurse walked into her room.
“You have visitors.”
She straightened up and stared at the doorway with nervous anticipation. The dread that had been pooling in her stomach dissolved into shocked elation as Buffy hurried into the room with Giles following right at her heels.
“Buffy! Giles!”
“Faith! You’re awake.”
Buffy grinned widely and rushed over to hug her.
“Ugh… still need to breathe, girlfriend,” Faith said, joking only partially.
Giles hovered uncertainly beside her bed and smiled at her warmly. “How are you feeling?”
“Bored. And the food stinks. You didn’t bring me a big greasy burger by any chance?”
Buffy shrugged and nudged Giles.
He whipped a bag of something from behind his back and her smile faltered as he said, “Eh… we brought you grapes.”
“Oh.”
“As soon as you get home, I promise heaps and heaps of ice-cream and calories laden food,” Buffy said eagerly.
“Hey, we can have a race though I’ll probably get my ass kicked by you. I’ve never seen someone inhale food the way you do. It’s scary.”
“I so do not. Tell her, Giles.”
“I have to agree with Faith.”
“You guys are mean.” Buffy pouted. “So when are you coming home?”
“No clue. But I feel good. It’s like I’ve been lying in the bed for months, and I just really want to get out of here. It’s making me all depressed and shit.”
Giles fumbled with his glasses and put his hand over Faith’s briefly before giving her an awkward smile. “I’ll go check with the doctor. Perhaps they could let you leave sooner.”
Buffy nodded. “We can take care of you better anyway.”
“I bet,” Faith said with a smirk then watched Giles walk out of the room.
“So, B… how have you been?”
Buffy looked at her incredulously. “My best friend was in coma. What do you think?”
“I’ll live.”
“The doctor said you were dead for a few seconds!”
“Oh,” Faith said. “So that’s what that was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was in a tunnel with bright light at the end.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Faith chuckled and regretted it the minute the sound passed her still sore throat. “No, I’m pulling your leg. You should have seen your face.”
Buffy scowled. “Meanie.”
There was something though, a violet light she could vividly recall and had no clue what it meant. Buffy didn’t need to know. Not when Faith herself found the memory too abstract to describe.
“You know that if the doctor doesn’t let me go, I’ll just sneak out of the hospital, right?”
Buffy shook her head, amused. “I really did miss you.”
*******
Spike strode through a dark alley, the wind making his coat whip around his calves. There was something he needed to do. For Buffy. Because she’d put her trust in him, trust he wasn’t so sure he deserved. Stepping around empty cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other, Spike approached the metallic door.
Ignoring the sign stating it was closed, he raised his fist and knocked.
After a few seconds, he heard soft paddle of feet before she opened the door. Tara tucked a strand of light brown hair behind her ear nervously, her eyes questioning as she tightened dark green cardigan around her form.
“H-hi, Spike. Didn’t the spell w-work?”
“No, it did, actually,” he said and tilted his head. “Mind if I come in?”
She stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.
Her eyes followed him quietly as he paced around the floor of the shop. Not asking, not talking, merely letting him have the time he needed to get the issue off his chest because they both knew there was more. Spike appreciated that.
“So, the spell worked,” he said, gathering courage. “The girl I told you about. My girlfriend’s best friend? She woke up fro the coma. Thanks, pet. If it weren’t for your little bit of hocus-pocus, she’d probably have died.”
Tara shrugged uncomfortably, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “I’m g-glad it helped. But… that’s not the r-reason you’re here. Is it?”
Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “No. Is there… bloody hell, this is so stupid. Alright, here we go… I wanted to know if you had any spell or what not that could help me control my demon? To leash it, in a sense.”
She stared at him then shook herself out of the stupor. “Oh. I d-did not expect you to ask f-for that kind of help.” A crease appeared between her brows as she contemplated his question. “Umm… I’d have to look.”
Spike followed her to the back of the shop where Tara and her mother stored the more dangerous witchcraft books.
Together they sat down and started to search the tomes for answers.
TBC
Plot ensues! :D
Lovely banner by xaphania
Chapter 39
Her heart pounded as she ran all the way home from Spike’s apartment, wishing against hope that Giles had overslept. 'Shyeah, like that would happen.' Maybe she could sneak into her room and pretend she’d just woken up? Or act as if she woke earlier and went for a morning walk.
Except, Giles knew her well so he was aware how Faith had to drag her out of bed every morning so they wouldn’t miss school. Life of a Chosen One wasn’t very complementary to getting a good night’s sleep.
Buffy dashed down the street then slowed down, trying to calm down her breath so she wouldn’t look so out of sorts. Fishing in the pockets of her jeans for the keys, she walked up to the front door. Only there weren’t any keys.
'Crap! Must have lost them at Spike’s place.'
That thought inevitably led thoughts of how she might have lost them.
'Always check for fallen out keys after taking off your pants.'
Fighting off the urge to bang her head against the door in frustration, she rounded the house and peered into her room. She didn’t lock the window so she should be able to get in undetected after all.
She grasped the window and pulled.
'Nope. Locked out. Double crap!'
Giles must have locked it, which meant he must have been in her room and noticed her glaring absence.
With a defeated step, Buffy walked to the front door and rang the bell. She didn’t have to wait long for Giles to open the door, his face relaxing and regaining some of its colour when he met her eyes. Guilt immediately smashed into her gut for worrying him.
“Buffy, where have you been all night? Are you alright?”
He ushered her inside and she closed the door, her shoulders slumped.
Lie or tell the truth? Could she even lie to him? Keeping stuff from Giles was one thing but outright lying to his face after being asked directly… he’d know. Wouldn’t he?
“I… umm… stuff happened.” Okay, that was true, if not a little vague. Maybe he’d drop the subject.
“Stuff? Buffy, I’ve been awake all night waiting for you, bloody worried about what might have happened to you!”
Okay, he was swearing. And raising his voice. That was a bad sign, and the guilt inside only gnawed at her more.
“If I tell you where I was, will you be angry with me?”
Giles sighed and took off his glasses with a tired gesture and sat in the armchair. “Do I have a reason to be?”
“N-no.” She hated how young and silly he made her feel with that half-skeptical, half-worried look on his face. “I mean… I was just-”
“I will not be angry with you, Buffy. Just please stop keeping me in suspense. I have some news to tell you as well.”
“News? Really?” She perched on the armrest of the sofa.
“First finish telling me what happened. You won’t get out of it so easily.”
“Okay… I was out. P-patrolling?”
“Are you asking me?” he asked with some amusement in his voice. “You never go patrolling without taking your phone.”
“Oh. I must have forgotten when I… okay, so I wasn’t patrolling. Not exactly.”
“I would never have guessed.”
She sent him a dirty look. “No need to be all sarcastic Watcher.” She gnawed at her lip and averted her eyes. “You’ll be mad.”
Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. “Buffy.”
“Would you stop saying my name that way? It makes me feel all… like I did something wrong and I swear I didn’t. I was… I was with Spike.”
She kept her eyes fixed on her hands, unable to look up and see the disapproval written all over his face.
“Spike. The vampire.”
“That’s not all he is, you know.”
“Isn’t he?” Giles asked with curiosity, and she lifted her gaze.
“No. He’s more than that. He’s…” Mine. “William. He’s not like the others. I’m not saying he’s a saint or that he’s not a demon, but… don’t we all have darkness inside?”
Giles shifted in his seat, and now he was the one to avert his eyes. Was he hiding something from her? A dark past perhaps? The very idea was ludicrous.
“I suppose we do, but he’s not merely a human with dark tendencies. He is evil. A murderer.”
She crossed her arms across her chest. “Aren’t I? A murderer?”
“Buffy… you’re a warrior of good, you’re-”
“That doesn’t change the fact I kill. Does the purpose even matter? I enjoy it, Giles. The Slayer part of me, that primal energy inside thrives off the hunt. You don’t know what it’s like. That feeling of being above the law. It’s hard not to let it get to your head. Spike gets that. He understands the violence inside, just as he understands my need to be just Buffy.”
Giles regarded her silently, and the scrutiny almost made her cringe but she didn’t even blink.
“You’re right. I don’t know what it is like to be a slayer. But I think you’re too blinded by your past acquaintance with William to see Spike for what he truly is. All you see is the face of a man you loved, and I know it’s hard t-”
“That’s not true. Don’t you think I truly realize what he is, what he’s capable of? I saw him for what he is. You’re right. I do see William when I look at Spike. Because he is a part of him. They’re not two separate entities.”
“You cannot trust him. It’ll get you killed!”
“No. It won’t. Maybe he’s the reason I’ll live longer.”
Giles shook his head and rose from the armchair. “You’re an adult, and I can’t make you do something you don’t want, but I advise you to be careful. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you too.”
“I know. And I will be careful, but I swear to you… Spike won’t hurt me.” She still saw he wasn’t convinced. “I wouldn’t let him.”
He tipped his head in a sign of acknowledgment. Even if he could never trust a vampire, he could always trust her.
“They called from the hospital.”
Buffy shot to her feet, the panic growing inside her chest making the breathing difficult. “W-what… what did they say? Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Giles smiled. “She’s awake.”
She hadn’t realized how tense her every muscle was until he said those words and the tension flew out of her body. “How? When? We’ve got to go!”
“We will, don’t worry. Go take a shower and have a bite to eat.”
“But I have to go right now!”
“Faith will still be there even if you take fifteen minutes to clean up.”
She was about to argue further then remembered how she’d spent the night. Perhaps she could spare a few minutes to have a shower so she wouldn’t be all stinky Buffy smelling like… well, like she’d been shagged six ways from Sunday, as Spike would probably say.
Ten minutes later, she and Giles were on their way to the hospital.
*******
Faith dug dispassionately into the bland food lying on a tray in her lap. It had been maybe an hour since she had awoken from the drug induced sleep and she was already bored. The doctor came by to check on her and told her she’d been brought in due to massive blood loss, commenting on the amazing rate Faith was recovering at from the coma. What caused her injuries, he didn’t say.
It wasn’t as though she couldn’t recall.
Her hand stroked the bandage wrapped around her neck, remembering the feeling of hot torrents of blood pouring over her hands when the vampire slit her throat.
But something had changed. She didn’t know exactly, but the dreams plaguing her subconscious were filled with girls fighting demons. The Slayers. And she sure as hell didn’t feel as weak as she probably should after waking from a coma. But it couldn’t be her. She was too old. And if it was true, if she had indeed become the Slayer, that would mean…
Buffy.
Faith pushed the food away right as the nurse walked into her room.
“You have visitors.”
She straightened up and stared at the doorway with nervous anticipation. The dread that had been pooling in her stomach dissolved into shocked elation as Buffy hurried into the room with Giles following right at her heels.
“Buffy! Giles!”
“Faith! You’re awake.”
Buffy grinned widely and rushed over to hug her.
“Ugh… still need to breathe, girlfriend,” Faith said, joking only partially.
Giles hovered uncertainly beside her bed and smiled at her warmly. “How are you feeling?”
“Bored. And the food stinks. You didn’t bring me a big greasy burger by any chance?”
Buffy shrugged and nudged Giles.
He whipped a bag of something from behind his back and her smile faltered as he said, “Eh… we brought you grapes.”
“Oh.”
“As soon as you get home, I promise heaps and heaps of ice-cream and calories laden food,” Buffy said eagerly.
“Hey, we can have a race though I’ll probably get my ass kicked by you. I’ve never seen someone inhale food the way you do. It’s scary.”
“I so do not. Tell her, Giles.”
“I have to agree with Faith.”
“You guys are mean.” Buffy pouted. “So when are you coming home?”
“No clue. But I feel good. It’s like I’ve been lying in the bed for months, and I just really want to get out of here. It’s making me all depressed and shit.”
Giles fumbled with his glasses and put his hand over Faith’s briefly before giving her an awkward smile. “I’ll go check with the doctor. Perhaps they could let you leave sooner.”
Buffy nodded. “We can take care of you better anyway.”
“I bet,” Faith said with a smirk then watched Giles walk out of the room.
“So, B… how have you been?”
Buffy looked at her incredulously. “My best friend was in coma. What do you think?”
“I’ll live.”
“The doctor said you were dead for a few seconds!”
“Oh,” Faith said. “So that’s what that was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was in a tunnel with bright light at the end.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Faith chuckled and regretted it the minute the sound passed her still sore throat. “No, I’m pulling your leg. You should have seen your face.”
Buffy scowled. “Meanie.”
There was something though, a violet light she could vividly recall and had no clue what it meant. Buffy didn’t need to know. Not when Faith herself found the memory too abstract to describe.
“You know that if the doctor doesn’t let me go, I’ll just sneak out of the hospital, right?”
Buffy shook her head, amused. “I really did miss you.”
*******
Spike strode through a dark alley, the wind making his coat whip around his calves. There was something he needed to do. For Buffy. Because she’d put her trust in him, trust he wasn’t so sure he deserved. Stepping around empty cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other, Spike approached the metallic door.
Ignoring the sign stating it was closed, he raised his fist and knocked.
After a few seconds, he heard soft paddle of feet before she opened the door. Tara tucked a strand of light brown hair behind her ear nervously, her eyes questioning as she tightened dark green cardigan around her form.
“H-hi, Spike. Didn’t the spell w-work?”
“No, it did, actually,” he said and tilted his head. “Mind if I come in?”
She stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.
Her eyes followed him quietly as he paced around the floor of the shop. Not asking, not talking, merely letting him have the time he needed to get the issue off his chest because they both knew there was more. Spike appreciated that.
“So, the spell worked,” he said, gathering courage. “The girl I told you about. My girlfriend’s best friend? She woke up fro the coma. Thanks, pet. If it weren’t for your little bit of hocus-pocus, she’d probably have died.”
Tara shrugged uncomfortably, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “I’m g-glad it helped. But… that’s not the r-reason you’re here. Is it?”
Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “No. Is there… bloody hell, this is so stupid. Alright, here we go… I wanted to know if you had any spell or what not that could help me control my demon? To leash it, in a sense.”
She stared at him then shook herself out of the stupor. “Oh. I d-did not expect you to ask f-for that kind of help.” A crease appeared between her brows as she contemplated his question. “Umm… I’d have to look.”
Spike followed her to the back of the shop where Tara and her mother stored the more dangerous witchcraft books.
Together they sat down and started to search the tomes for answers.
TBC
Chapter forty
A/N: Beta'd by the lovely dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
And to you wonderful readers, I'll update more as soon as I get it beta'd. I wanted to update more on Sunday, but I'm flying (on a plane) then... we'll see if there's internet connection at the new flat where I'm renting a room. I hope so!
Gorgeous banner by xaphania
Chapter 40
“I found something…” Tara said and her eyes flickered across the pages of a thick book perched open on her lap. “Here’s something. It t-talks about breathing humanity into the dead. Well, dead but walking, which I think means vampires. The ritual is complex. I don’t think I wield that kind of power. And it’s probably not even what you’re l-looking for.”
Spike pushed the book he was reading away with a heavy sigh. “Better than anything I’ve found so far. So, what does it say?”
She scanned the paragraph. “I’m not sure. It talks about anima, which means a soul but the way it’s written is all… vague, I guess? It says anima forces the darkness to retreat and allows the true heart to shine through.” She went a bit pale and pushed the book away. “T-there are pictures.”
Spike reached over and took it from her hands, his gaze sweeping over the hand-drawn images depicting a man on his knees, seemingly being ripped apart by invisible forces, face twisted in a silent scream.
“Well… these aren’t all that vague,” he said dryly. Funny thing was, he’d do it. If it meant Buffy didn’t have to worry about his straying fangs, he’d go to the pit of hell and back to make sure he deserved the trust she’d so inadvertently put in him. The night they made love was… that night she gave him her heart, body and soul. What did he have to give her in return? What if his love didn’t prove to be enough? She deserved more than what he could give her now. She deserved a man, not a monster.
“You think it might be real?” he asked Tara, the memory of Darla talking about her Childe stalking his thoughts. He got cursed with a soul, didn’t he? But Spike wasn’t him. This was a choice he was willing to make, not a punishment for his wretched acts. Even if God knew he deserved to be punished for all the things he’d done.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t think there’s anything impossible in our world,” she said and fell silent for a few seconds. “So… umm… do you mind me asking… why are you looking for the spell to control your demon?” Her eyes flickered from the dusty pages to meet his gaze.
“Not too big on sharing, pet. ’S personal.”
“S-sorry.”
The minute her eyes dropped back to her hands folded in her lap, he regretted being so terse. He really didn’t know the bird well enough to disclose his insecurities, and shutting her off came on instinct. It always had. For some strange reason though, he felt as if he could trust Tara. Maybe he could. It wasn’t like he had anybody to tell this to. The circle of his friends came down to Buffy and she probably wouldn’t like what he was doing.
“It’s about my girl,” he said, and Tara glanced up at him, apparently surprised he was talking. She wasn’t the only one. “Don’t wanna hurt her. She trusts me, and I don’t want to bugger it up, but you see… being a vamp doesn’t exactly help a bloke to act with a steady head. It’s sodding hard sometimes, to control the bloodlust. Maybe if I had something to help me… to have a firmer grip over my instincts-”
“But you do. Control yourself, I mean. You’re not…”
Spike watched her fumble with thoughts in her head, instinctively sympathizing with her. In a way, she and William had so much in common. But he knew Tara had the inner strength to her as well, if only she could believe in herself.
“You’re not just a demon.”
“Because I haven’t killed you yet? Might though. Maybe you’re still alive only because I need something from you. Ever thought of that?”
She held his gaze square on. “No. I don’t believe that,” she said with conviction.
He blinked and looked away from her too perceptive gaze. “It’s a wonder you’re still alive then. You’re way too trusting for your own good.”
“I’m good at judging people.”
“I don’t think I qualify as one of those anymore.”
“You’re acting more human than most men do,” she said in a whisper, her eyes troubled with whatever memories forced her to mature past her age. He’d never really thought of the reason her and her mother were on their lonesome. Lots of single mothers these days but perhaps there was more behind it. Wasn’t there always?
He must have been staring at her because she suddenly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced away.
“You’d do anything for her, wouldn’t you?” she asked after a while.
“Yeah. I would.”
*******
Buffy wiped sweat off her brow and tossed the stake into the weapon chest beside her vanity table. Demons were not only hell on her wardrobe but also on her weapons, it seemed. The big burly thing she’d killed had managed to snap her favourite axe in half before she did the same to its neck.
She really liked that ax too.
A knock on her door snapped her out of the funk, and she swiveled on her feet.
“Hey, B. How did the patrol go?”
It felt so good to have Faith home, alive and well. Despite her insistence, the doctor had released her four days after the visit.
“Same old, same old. I’ve got demon blood on my jeans… again.”
Faith grinned as she spotted a big dark green spot on Buffy’s jeans. “At least it wasn’t acidic.”
“Always such an optimist,” Buffy said and rolled the stained jeans down her legs, her nose scrunching in disgust. “Eww.”
Faith walked into the room and fidgeted with little knick knacks on Buffy’s table while she pulled on sweatpants and changed into a clean tank top. Even she wasn’t that blind she wouldn’t notice something was bothering Faith.
“Okay, fess up.”
“What?”
“You’re all mopey, which… understandable with the whole… you know. But… Talk to me. God knows, you made me talk to you when I felt all miserable.”
Faith sighed. “I’m not miserable. Just feeling kinda itchy.”
“If you say you need a one night stand, I’m so kicking your butt.”
Faith seemed to think about for a moment. “Well, that too. But not that kind of itchy. More like.” She popped her knuckles. “Kicking ass kind.”
“Oh. Well, I’m not sure you’re ready to-”
“I am!” She bounced on her feet and stepped closer. “Buffy, I think you should know something.”
“What’s with the seriousness? Should I be worried?”
“Something happened to me while I was out for the count.”
“Like what?”
Faith’s gaze darted around and walked over to pick a sword Buffy had left leaning against a wall because it needed sharpening. Then she clasped it in her hands and… bent it.
“Uh…” Buffy’s jaw dropped open.
“Yeah.”
“How…”
Faith shrugged and dropped the useless sword. “No idea. Just woke up and… this feeling went through me. Strength.”
“Are you a… are you a slayer.” How could that have happened?
“No clue. I think I am, but it makes no sense. I got all these dreams and visions of… past slayers I guess. And I feel powerful. But… I don’t get it. You’re the Slayer. Chosen One. Nothing saying there’s something as lame as Chosen Two.”
Buffy dropped down on the bed, feeling heavy and numb. “We should tell Giles.”
Faith walked over and sat down next to her. “You don’t sound all that happy.”
Didn’t she get it? What it meant? “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” she asked warily.
Buffy heaved a sigh and turned her head to look at Faith. “I’m not jealous if that’s what you think. It’s just not fair it had to happen to you. I know it sounds kind of nifty to have all that power but the truth is… the truth is you’ve just become a demon beacon.”
“Is that what you feel like?”
“It’s what I am, isn’t it? I… We… don’t have a choice. Maybe we never have. I won’t lie, I like being the Slayer. That doesn’t mean I don’t realize that’s all I’ll ever be. I can’t quit or hide, and one day I’ll slip up and be some demon’s trophy. Probably sooner rather than later.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. If I really am a slayer then… there’s two of us against the world. You don’t have to be alone anymore. We’ll have each other’s backs. And I’d rather die in a fight than in a hospital somewhere. At least this way you make a difference.”
Buffy nodded reluctantly. Maybe Faith was right. There were far worse demons out there than those she could actually fight. And for the first time it occurred to her that with Faith and Spike on her side, she might live long enough to see her first wrinkle after all.
*******
The lock clicked behind him as Tara closed the door. Wind rushed against his face as he strode down the streets. She’d promised him to research the ritual and everything there was to know about its consequences. Spike knew that it was her way to push it back in hopes of him changing his mind. Thought it was dangerous and volatile, she did.
Spike snorted.
Maybe he really was stupid for even contemplating this. He had it all, didn’t he? Finally had Buffy, her love. It was all that mattered. It should have been. Except, doubt gnawed at him, telling him he’d do something to cock it up eventually and lose her forever. There was only so much of his wrong doings she could forgive and forget.
His stomach cramped in sudden hunger and he quickened his step, his fangs threatening to drop. He hated how the hunger overcame him out of nowhere. No initial discomfort, just plain bloodlust slamming into him without warning. Maybe it happened to all young vampires. He’d never thought to ask.
The hospital was just a few blocks away, and it would have to do this time. Despite Buffy allowing him to feed off human criminals, it wasn’t as easy as she thought to stumble upon one here.
Not enough to quench the thirst.
He headed towards hospital and soon he was slipping unnoticed inside the blood bank, his trembling hands grasping at the bags of plasma that had only recently gone bad. The cold substance slid down his throat as he tore it open with his fangs and gulped it down greedily, slumping to the floor. He drank three of them before his mind cleared and the pangs of hunger dwindled down.
The bad news was the three bags he’d fed off were the only ones expired. His mind swirled with indecision because he knew he needed more, needed to take some with him to have as a reserve, but doubted it was the right thing to do to take any bags someone might need for transfusion. God, why was this so difficult?
“Fuck,” he mumbled and banged his head against the white wall. With gritted teeth, he stood up and swept his gaze over the packets. His looked into the refrigerator like boxes where the blood was held and took one with the most common blood type then spun on his heel and headed home.
The soul, whatever the hell it was supposed to do, would help him understand the line between right and wrong. Wouldn’t it? He’d still be himself, only complete. A man with a demon inside, not the other way around. And as much as this was all about Buffy, it had also a lot to do with the way he’d felt since he’d been turned.
He’d never felt as though he was a true vampire. Unlike Darla and Dru, he was unable to turn off just… feeling. He was more than just a vampire, but less than a human being.
For once in his existence, he wanted to belong.
TBC
And to you wonderful readers, I'll update more as soon as I get it beta'd. I wanted to update more on Sunday, but I'm flying (on a plane) then... we'll see if there's internet connection at the new flat where I'm renting a room. I hope so!
Gorgeous banner by xaphania
Chapter 40
“I found something…” Tara said and her eyes flickered across the pages of a thick book perched open on her lap. “Here’s something. It t-talks about breathing humanity into the dead. Well, dead but walking, which I think means vampires. The ritual is complex. I don’t think I wield that kind of power. And it’s probably not even what you’re l-looking for.”
Spike pushed the book he was reading away with a heavy sigh. “Better than anything I’ve found so far. So, what does it say?”
She scanned the paragraph. “I’m not sure. It talks about anima, which means a soul but the way it’s written is all… vague, I guess? It says anima forces the darkness to retreat and allows the true heart to shine through.” She went a bit pale and pushed the book away. “T-there are pictures.”
Spike reached over and took it from her hands, his gaze sweeping over the hand-drawn images depicting a man on his knees, seemingly being ripped apart by invisible forces, face twisted in a silent scream.
“Well… these aren’t all that vague,” he said dryly. Funny thing was, he’d do it. If it meant Buffy didn’t have to worry about his straying fangs, he’d go to the pit of hell and back to make sure he deserved the trust she’d so inadvertently put in him. The night they made love was… that night she gave him her heart, body and soul. What did he have to give her in return? What if his love didn’t prove to be enough? She deserved more than what he could give her now. She deserved a man, not a monster.
“You think it might be real?” he asked Tara, the memory of Darla talking about her Childe stalking his thoughts. He got cursed with a soul, didn’t he? But Spike wasn’t him. This was a choice he was willing to make, not a punishment for his wretched acts. Even if God knew he deserved to be punished for all the things he’d done.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t think there’s anything impossible in our world,” she said and fell silent for a few seconds. “So… umm… do you mind me asking… why are you looking for the spell to control your demon?” Her eyes flickered from the dusty pages to meet his gaze.
“Not too big on sharing, pet. ’S personal.”
“S-sorry.”
The minute her eyes dropped back to her hands folded in her lap, he regretted being so terse. He really didn’t know the bird well enough to disclose his insecurities, and shutting her off came on instinct. It always had. For some strange reason though, he felt as if he could trust Tara. Maybe he could. It wasn’t like he had anybody to tell this to. The circle of his friends came down to Buffy and she probably wouldn’t like what he was doing.
“It’s about my girl,” he said, and Tara glanced up at him, apparently surprised he was talking. She wasn’t the only one. “Don’t wanna hurt her. She trusts me, and I don’t want to bugger it up, but you see… being a vamp doesn’t exactly help a bloke to act with a steady head. It’s sodding hard sometimes, to control the bloodlust. Maybe if I had something to help me… to have a firmer grip over my instincts-”
“But you do. Control yourself, I mean. You’re not…”
Spike watched her fumble with thoughts in her head, instinctively sympathizing with her. In a way, she and William had so much in common. But he knew Tara had the inner strength to her as well, if only she could believe in herself.
“You’re not just a demon.”
“Because I haven’t killed you yet? Might though. Maybe you’re still alive only because I need something from you. Ever thought of that?”
She held his gaze square on. “No. I don’t believe that,” she said with conviction.
He blinked and looked away from her too perceptive gaze. “It’s a wonder you’re still alive then. You’re way too trusting for your own good.”
“I’m good at judging people.”
“I don’t think I qualify as one of those anymore.”
“You’re acting more human than most men do,” she said in a whisper, her eyes troubled with whatever memories forced her to mature past her age. He’d never really thought of the reason her and her mother were on their lonesome. Lots of single mothers these days but perhaps there was more behind it. Wasn’t there always?
He must have been staring at her because she suddenly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced away.
“You’d do anything for her, wouldn’t you?” she asked after a while.
“Yeah. I would.”
*******
Buffy wiped sweat off her brow and tossed the stake into the weapon chest beside her vanity table. Demons were not only hell on her wardrobe but also on her weapons, it seemed. The big burly thing she’d killed had managed to snap her favourite axe in half before she did the same to its neck.
She really liked that ax too.
A knock on her door snapped her out of the funk, and she swiveled on her feet.
“Hey, B. How did the patrol go?”
It felt so good to have Faith home, alive and well. Despite her insistence, the doctor had released her four days after the visit.
“Same old, same old. I’ve got demon blood on my jeans… again.”
Faith grinned as she spotted a big dark green spot on Buffy’s jeans. “At least it wasn’t acidic.”
“Always such an optimist,” Buffy said and rolled the stained jeans down her legs, her nose scrunching in disgust. “Eww.”
Faith walked into the room and fidgeted with little knick knacks on Buffy’s table while she pulled on sweatpants and changed into a clean tank top. Even she wasn’t that blind she wouldn’t notice something was bothering Faith.
“Okay, fess up.”
“What?”
“You’re all mopey, which… understandable with the whole… you know. But… Talk to me. God knows, you made me talk to you when I felt all miserable.”
Faith sighed. “I’m not miserable. Just feeling kinda itchy.”
“If you say you need a one night stand, I’m so kicking your butt.”
Faith seemed to think about for a moment. “Well, that too. But not that kind of itchy. More like.” She popped her knuckles. “Kicking ass kind.”
“Oh. Well, I’m not sure you’re ready to-”
“I am!” She bounced on her feet and stepped closer. “Buffy, I think you should know something.”
“What’s with the seriousness? Should I be worried?”
“Something happened to me while I was out for the count.”
“Like what?”
Faith’s gaze darted around and walked over to pick a sword Buffy had left leaning against a wall because it needed sharpening. Then she clasped it in her hands and… bent it.
“Uh…” Buffy’s jaw dropped open.
“Yeah.”
“How…”
Faith shrugged and dropped the useless sword. “No idea. Just woke up and… this feeling went through me. Strength.”
“Are you a… are you a slayer.” How could that have happened?
“No clue. I think I am, but it makes no sense. I got all these dreams and visions of… past slayers I guess. And I feel powerful. But… I don’t get it. You’re the Slayer. Chosen One. Nothing saying there’s something as lame as Chosen Two.”
Buffy dropped down on the bed, feeling heavy and numb. “We should tell Giles.”
Faith walked over and sat down next to her. “You don’t sound all that happy.”
Didn’t she get it? What it meant? “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” she asked warily.
Buffy heaved a sigh and turned her head to look at Faith. “I’m not jealous if that’s what you think. It’s just not fair it had to happen to you. I know it sounds kind of nifty to have all that power but the truth is… the truth is you’ve just become a demon beacon.”
“Is that what you feel like?”
“It’s what I am, isn’t it? I… We… don’t have a choice. Maybe we never have. I won’t lie, I like being the Slayer. That doesn’t mean I don’t realize that’s all I’ll ever be. I can’t quit or hide, and one day I’ll slip up and be some demon’s trophy. Probably sooner rather than later.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. If I really am a slayer then… there’s two of us against the world. You don’t have to be alone anymore. We’ll have each other’s backs. And I’d rather die in a fight than in a hospital somewhere. At least this way you make a difference.”
Buffy nodded reluctantly. Maybe Faith was right. There were far worse demons out there than those she could actually fight. And for the first time it occurred to her that with Faith and Spike on her side, she might live long enough to see her first wrinkle after all.
*******
The lock clicked behind him as Tara closed the door. Wind rushed against his face as he strode down the streets. She’d promised him to research the ritual and everything there was to know about its consequences. Spike knew that it was her way to push it back in hopes of him changing his mind. Thought it was dangerous and volatile, she did.
Spike snorted.
Maybe he really was stupid for even contemplating this. He had it all, didn’t he? Finally had Buffy, her love. It was all that mattered. It should have been. Except, doubt gnawed at him, telling him he’d do something to cock it up eventually and lose her forever. There was only so much of his wrong doings she could forgive and forget.
His stomach cramped in sudden hunger and he quickened his step, his fangs threatening to drop. He hated how the hunger overcame him out of nowhere. No initial discomfort, just plain bloodlust slamming into him without warning. Maybe it happened to all young vampires. He’d never thought to ask.
The hospital was just a few blocks away, and it would have to do this time. Despite Buffy allowing him to feed off human criminals, it wasn’t as easy as she thought to stumble upon one here.
Not enough to quench the thirst.
He headed towards hospital and soon he was slipping unnoticed inside the blood bank, his trembling hands grasping at the bags of plasma that had only recently gone bad. The cold substance slid down his throat as he tore it open with his fangs and gulped it down greedily, slumping to the floor. He drank three of them before his mind cleared and the pangs of hunger dwindled down.
The bad news was the three bags he’d fed off were the only ones expired. His mind swirled with indecision because he knew he needed more, needed to take some with him to have as a reserve, but doubted it was the right thing to do to take any bags someone might need for transfusion. God, why was this so difficult?
“Fuck,” he mumbled and banged his head against the white wall. With gritted teeth, he stood up and swept his gaze over the packets. His looked into the refrigerator like boxes where the blood was held and took one with the most common blood type then spun on his heel and headed home.
The soul, whatever the hell it was supposed to do, would help him understand the line between right and wrong. Wouldn’t it? He’d still be himself, only complete. A man with a demon inside, not the other way around. And as much as this was all about Buffy, it had also a lot to do with the way he’d felt since he’d been turned.
He’d never felt as though he was a true vampire. Unlike Darla and Dru, he was unable to turn off just… feeling. He was more than just a vampire, but less than a human being.
For once in his existence, he wanted to belong.
TBC
Chapter forty-one
A/N: I hope to update another chapter this week, but can't promise anything since it all depends on how busy are my betas (dawnofme and Mabel Marsters) in RL. I've got several more chapter written and we're getting close to the end.
Banner by talented xaphania
Chapter 41
Spike snapped his phone shut, tossed it beside him on the sofa cushion, and sucked in his cheeks. They actually hurt from smiling so much. Such a strange occurrence, but he never could underestimate Buffy’s ability to make him happy.
‘Will you come see me?’ she asked in hushed tones, somehow managing to be both shy and flirty. Like he could ever say no to anything she asked? Like he could imagine her finger curling around a golden strand of her hair as she told him the Watcher went to London on an official Council business and not crave to have her all for himself? To selfishly blanket her in his embrace, ravenous for the smoothness of her skin, and to tug her close enough to mold her supple form against him? Like hell.
Spike bent down to peer under the sofa, gathering the boots he’d kicked off there. Simultaneously shoving his feet into them and running a hand through his hair, he contemplated using gel to tame the curls then thought better of it. Buffy would mess it up anyway, and he just knew she always did it on purpose. Even though he hated to look like a git, if she liked it, he didn’t care.
He snatched the keys from the coffee table and strode to the front door to slip into the duster, then locked the door behind him. How did she expect him to not see her immediately after asking him to come over later so they could snog on top of her girly covers then shag themselves unconscious? Okay, so she didn’t say anything about shagging, but he could tell she wouldn’t mind from the sound of her voice and the excited pitter patter of her heart.
He crossed the distance between their flats in record time. It never occurred to him to use the door since he’d always avoided it in the past, so he sauntered towards the window to her room and lifted it up so he could climb in.
“Well, lookie lookie what’s turned up… a trespasser,” drawled a female voice that definitely wasn’t Buffy’s. He started and fell ungracefully into the room, glad that his move was somewhat shrouded by the darkness of the room.
Brunette, clad in leather pants, red lipstick on her lips.
Faith.
She leaned against the doorjamb with a questioning look on her face. “Care to tell me who are you and what the hell are you doing sneaking into my friend’s bedroom? If you’re a burglar, you chose the wrong house.”
He propped himself up and shook his head, peering up at her through the darkness. “What? Not a burglar, pet. Now be a good girl and tell me where Buffy is.”
Her brows drew together in confusion as she walked into the room. “Who are you? I thought B had a hard on for that William guy even after he became a vam-… uh… smoker. She never mentioned any side affairs.”
He couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing.
Faith folded her arms across her chest, and he could tell she wasn’t amused. As a human, he used to avoid her because she kind of scared him. Now he couldn’t help but want to tease her a bit.
“Right. She ditched the poor sod. Said he was too nerdy for her and you know, all that… smoking,” he said with a chuckle. “I offered a sympathetic shoulder and she took it.”
“Like I’d believe that,” she said. “Wait… you sound familiar. Do we know each other?”
She backed off and flipped on a light. The sudden change momentarily blinded his sensitive eyes, but he quickly adjusted in time to see Faith’s confusion melt into doubt before her eyes narrowed as she finally placed his face.
“William?”
He rose to his feet and brushed off his jeans. “The one and only.”
She stood there gaping at him like a fish. “No way! You don’t look like the dweeb from high school.”
He arched his brow. “Well, you haven’t changed all that much. As tactless as I remember.”
The corner of her mouth lifted in a smirk. “Tact is overrated. Anyway, B’s in the shower. She’s been giving me a headache with all her freaking out to look good. Now I know why. So I take it you two worked out your differences?”
Buffy wanted to look good for him? Silly girl. He’d love her if she wore a sack. “You could say that.”
“So you’re a vamp now, huh?”
“Yeah. And a smoker too. Good guess.”
“It was the first thing that came to mind. Didn’t want to mention vamps in case you turned out to be a human,” she said with a shrug.
He followed her movement as she prowled around the room.
“You know I’m a slayer, don’t you?”
“Buffy told me,” he said with a nod. “So… I guess this is you threatening me.”
She stopped to pin him with a glare. “You got it. One thing to make the girl sad and you’re fitting in an ash tray. Hope we’re clear on this.”
He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “If I do, you have my permission.”
“As long as we agree on that.”
He tilted his head as the scent of spring and Buffy wafted to his nose before she actually entered the room. When she did, he drank in the sight of her dressed only in a towel, droplets of water still clinging to her skin. He swallowed heavily, eager to lick the moisture off her flesh.
Her eyes went wide when she noticed him standing there.
“Spike! I thought you’d be coming over in an hour or so.”
He had to force himself to focus on her words instead of raking his eyes all over the exposed parts of her body. “Uh… got impatient.”
Faith cleared her throat to make her presence known since both of them were too wrapped up in the other’s proximity. “I’m going out. Don’t wait up, kids.”
She started to walk out of the room then stopped briefly. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, girlfriend,” she said with a wink then whispered, “You better ride that stallion.” She was gone before Buffy could utter a sound.
A blush spilled all over her cheeks and chest when she noticed he’d heard Faith loud and clear. “Don’t listen to her. She’s got this habit of making crude comments.”
He took a step closer, tilting his head to the side. “I don’t know. Sounds like bloody brilliant advice to me.”
Another step. Her heart picked up in speed and she licked her lips.
“We’ve got the house to ourselves then,” he said.
Just a couple of inches between them now. He reached out and traced the edge of the towel, deliberately brushing the tops of her breasts with his fingertips.
“Uh huh,” she said and stared up at him, the green of her irises just a bit darker as her pupils dilated.
Her fingers closed around the lapels of his coat and she tugged him closer. Then she kissed him, her tongue immediately pushing his lips open to steal a taste, her fingers crawling up his arms to shove the duster off his shoulders.
“Missed you,” she murmured into his mouth as she backed him into the wall.
Spike pulled at the towel and let it fall to the floor as he claimed her lips again. Her skin was warmer than usual from the shower, scalding him even through the clothes. The demon inside him roared at the feel of her slippery bare flesh under his seeking hands.
She broke the kiss long enough to strip the t-shirt over his head, and her fingernails raked down his chest to his abdomen. The slight sting of it made him growl, and the way she was in control stirred a primal need, making him even more aware of the demon clawing at the surface.
Before he knew what was happening, she was dragging him to the floor, and her deft fingers reached down undid his belt, tugged down the zipper and took him out. Unneeded breath caught in his throat as she lay back and impatiently shoved the jeans under his ass with the heels of her feet, locking her legs around him to pull him on top of her.
Spike propped his palms on either side of her head, the desperate expression on her face stripping away his control. The scent of her filled his nose and knowing she was more than ready, he rammed half of his length inside her then pushed in even deeper. Her eyes squeezed shut, her throat arched up, drawing his eyes to the pounding blood in her artery. A growl rumbled through his chest as he swiveled his hips. Her nails scratched down his back almost hard enough to draw blood.
Their groans and quick breaths weaved a sinful pattern through the air, filling his ears, quickening the pace of his thrusts. The heels of her feet dug into his ass cheeks, and she drew his head down. His lips hovered above hers, tongue sneaking out to catch a bead of salty sweat above her upper lip.
His every thought narrowed to pure sensations: the inferno of her body, her thighs locked around his waist, and sweet mouth against his, teeth nibbling his lower lip. The blood rushed beneath her skin, so close as he licked the water off her neck So sweet. So his. He could feel the demon pushing to take over, reducing his thought to the simplicity of the sizzling contact between their writhing bodies.
Wanting. Craving. Golden skin feverish under his tongue. Shiver. Moan. Tight and so wet. Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. God, more. So deep. Need. Need.
'Mine!'
Her inner muscles spasmed, trapped him inside, driving every thought out of his head. He could feel the demon crawling up to the surface. Bones shifting, Buffy’s nails digging into his skin. The tightness of her skin giving way under his fangs then ecstasy. Thick and rich and exquisite as it poured into his starving mouth. The demon inside snarled in possessive need. She was his.
His Buffy.
His everything.
Forever.
The tides of rapture crashed against him, one after the other as he moved inside her. It was too much.
The climax started to ebb, melting down into a steady glow. It was then that her voice drifted as if from great distance.
“Spike, no.”
He realized what he was doing and slid his fangs out of Buffy’s neck. Panicking, he met her dazed eyes. Her heart pounded strongly in her chest deafening him. The way he felt… God, he was truly horrified. He’d never meant to lose control over himself. What if he had drank too much?
'Monster, monster, monster.'
“Buffy… luv… I’m s-sorry.”
He jerked back, sliding out of her and zipped up his jeans. She followed his motion and sat up, one hand cupping her neck.
“It’s all right.”
He stared at her, barely feeling the reassuring caress of her hand as she touched his cheek. It was so fleeting, he almost missed it but once he smelled it, his whole body froze.
Fear.
Just a drop of it, but enough to make him recoil in horror.
“It’s not alright,” he said, as his eyes glazed over with sheen of tears, blurring his vision. “How can you say that?”
“I know you didn’t on it on purpose.”
He shook his head and pulled her hand away from her neck, staring in horror at her bloodied palm. Crimson trickled down from the jagged twin punctures in her throat and trailed down to her breast. How could he? How could she trust him?
His eyes lifted to meet hers and he saw no hatred there. No revulsion, just acceptance. It made it hurt even worse. Knowing she still loved him and he didn’t deserve it.
“I’m sorry,” he said, willing the words to convey what he felt.
“Shh. Don’t be sorry.” She leaned into him and kissed his cheek. The smell of blood was still fresh in the air and having it so close to his mouth didn’t help. Disgusted with himself, he put distance between them.
“I can’t… have to…” He staggered to his feet and gathered his t-shirt and duster before striding over to the open window.
“Spike, wait!”
He stopped but didn’t dare turn around. The shame burned too deep.
“Please don’t go. We can talk about this. I told you I’m not mad. It just surprised me, but I know you’d never hurt me on purpose. I know.”
“How can you know that when I don’t? I just did hurt you, Buffy… after I promised-”
He tensed when she clasped his shoulder. “Don’t do this to yourself. I said I’d love you no matter what. I meant it, you know.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and whispered, “I love you too, but…”
That was why he couldn’t stay. He had to get the control back over himself first. Unable to help himself, Spike turned around briefly, clasped her clean hand in his to press a kiss into her palm and disappeared into the night.
*******
He hadn’t been sure before but he was now. It was the only way. The only way he could leash the demon and keep it under wraps. He had no idea what it was that made him lose it like that tonight. Perhaps the irregular feeding or the way passion overwhelmed him. Probably the combination of both.
Spike couldn’t risk it again. Not when her life was on the line. He never wanted to smell her fear again. Not of him. The soul was the answer, wasn’t it? It would make everything all right again.
It had to.
TBC
Banner by talented xaphania
Chapter 41
Spike snapped his phone shut, tossed it beside him on the sofa cushion, and sucked in his cheeks. They actually hurt from smiling so much. Such a strange occurrence, but he never could underestimate Buffy’s ability to make him happy.
‘Will you come see me?’ she asked in hushed tones, somehow managing to be both shy and flirty. Like he could ever say no to anything she asked? Like he could imagine her finger curling around a golden strand of her hair as she told him the Watcher went to London on an official Council business and not crave to have her all for himself? To selfishly blanket her in his embrace, ravenous for the smoothness of her skin, and to tug her close enough to mold her supple form against him? Like hell.
Spike bent down to peer under the sofa, gathering the boots he’d kicked off there. Simultaneously shoving his feet into them and running a hand through his hair, he contemplated using gel to tame the curls then thought better of it. Buffy would mess it up anyway, and he just knew she always did it on purpose. Even though he hated to look like a git, if she liked it, he didn’t care.
He snatched the keys from the coffee table and strode to the front door to slip into the duster, then locked the door behind him. How did she expect him to not see her immediately after asking him to come over later so they could snog on top of her girly covers then shag themselves unconscious? Okay, so she didn’t say anything about shagging, but he could tell she wouldn’t mind from the sound of her voice and the excited pitter patter of her heart.
He crossed the distance between their flats in record time. It never occurred to him to use the door since he’d always avoided it in the past, so he sauntered towards the window to her room and lifted it up so he could climb in.
“Well, lookie lookie what’s turned up… a trespasser,” drawled a female voice that definitely wasn’t Buffy’s. He started and fell ungracefully into the room, glad that his move was somewhat shrouded by the darkness of the room.
Brunette, clad in leather pants, red lipstick on her lips.
Faith.
She leaned against the doorjamb with a questioning look on her face. “Care to tell me who are you and what the hell are you doing sneaking into my friend’s bedroom? If you’re a burglar, you chose the wrong house.”
He propped himself up and shook his head, peering up at her through the darkness. “What? Not a burglar, pet. Now be a good girl and tell me where Buffy is.”
Her brows drew together in confusion as she walked into the room. “Who are you? I thought B had a hard on for that William guy even after he became a vam-… uh… smoker. She never mentioned any side affairs.”
He couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing.
Faith folded her arms across her chest, and he could tell she wasn’t amused. As a human, he used to avoid her because she kind of scared him. Now he couldn’t help but want to tease her a bit.
“Right. She ditched the poor sod. Said he was too nerdy for her and you know, all that… smoking,” he said with a chuckle. “I offered a sympathetic shoulder and she took it.”
“Like I’d believe that,” she said. “Wait… you sound familiar. Do we know each other?”
She backed off and flipped on a light. The sudden change momentarily blinded his sensitive eyes, but he quickly adjusted in time to see Faith’s confusion melt into doubt before her eyes narrowed as she finally placed his face.
“William?”
He rose to his feet and brushed off his jeans. “The one and only.”
She stood there gaping at him like a fish. “No way! You don’t look like the dweeb from high school.”
He arched his brow. “Well, you haven’t changed all that much. As tactless as I remember.”
The corner of her mouth lifted in a smirk. “Tact is overrated. Anyway, B’s in the shower. She’s been giving me a headache with all her freaking out to look good. Now I know why. So I take it you two worked out your differences?”
Buffy wanted to look good for him? Silly girl. He’d love her if she wore a sack. “You could say that.”
“So you’re a vamp now, huh?”
“Yeah. And a smoker too. Good guess.”
“It was the first thing that came to mind. Didn’t want to mention vamps in case you turned out to be a human,” she said with a shrug.
He followed her movement as she prowled around the room.
“You know I’m a slayer, don’t you?”
“Buffy told me,” he said with a nod. “So… I guess this is you threatening me.”
She stopped to pin him with a glare. “You got it. One thing to make the girl sad and you’re fitting in an ash tray. Hope we’re clear on this.”
He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “If I do, you have my permission.”
“As long as we agree on that.”
He tilted his head as the scent of spring and Buffy wafted to his nose before she actually entered the room. When she did, he drank in the sight of her dressed only in a towel, droplets of water still clinging to her skin. He swallowed heavily, eager to lick the moisture off her flesh.
Her eyes went wide when she noticed him standing there.
“Spike! I thought you’d be coming over in an hour or so.”
He had to force himself to focus on her words instead of raking his eyes all over the exposed parts of her body. “Uh… got impatient.”
Faith cleared her throat to make her presence known since both of them were too wrapped up in the other’s proximity. “I’m going out. Don’t wait up, kids.”
She started to walk out of the room then stopped briefly. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, girlfriend,” she said with a wink then whispered, “You better ride that stallion.” She was gone before Buffy could utter a sound.
A blush spilled all over her cheeks and chest when she noticed he’d heard Faith loud and clear. “Don’t listen to her. She’s got this habit of making crude comments.”
He took a step closer, tilting his head to the side. “I don’t know. Sounds like bloody brilliant advice to me.”
Another step. Her heart picked up in speed and she licked her lips.
“We’ve got the house to ourselves then,” he said.
Just a couple of inches between them now. He reached out and traced the edge of the towel, deliberately brushing the tops of her breasts with his fingertips.
“Uh huh,” she said and stared up at him, the green of her irises just a bit darker as her pupils dilated.
Her fingers closed around the lapels of his coat and she tugged him closer. Then she kissed him, her tongue immediately pushing his lips open to steal a taste, her fingers crawling up his arms to shove the duster off his shoulders.
“Missed you,” she murmured into his mouth as she backed him into the wall.
Spike pulled at the towel and let it fall to the floor as he claimed her lips again. Her skin was warmer than usual from the shower, scalding him even through the clothes. The demon inside him roared at the feel of her slippery bare flesh under his seeking hands.
She broke the kiss long enough to strip the t-shirt over his head, and her fingernails raked down his chest to his abdomen. The slight sting of it made him growl, and the way she was in control stirred a primal need, making him even more aware of the demon clawing at the surface.
Before he knew what was happening, she was dragging him to the floor, and her deft fingers reached down undid his belt, tugged down the zipper and took him out. Unneeded breath caught in his throat as she lay back and impatiently shoved the jeans under his ass with the heels of her feet, locking her legs around him to pull him on top of her.
Spike propped his palms on either side of her head, the desperate expression on her face stripping away his control. The scent of her filled his nose and knowing she was more than ready, he rammed half of his length inside her then pushed in even deeper. Her eyes squeezed shut, her throat arched up, drawing his eyes to the pounding blood in her artery. A growl rumbled through his chest as he swiveled his hips. Her nails scratched down his back almost hard enough to draw blood.
Their groans and quick breaths weaved a sinful pattern through the air, filling his ears, quickening the pace of his thrusts. The heels of her feet dug into his ass cheeks, and she drew his head down. His lips hovered above hers, tongue sneaking out to catch a bead of salty sweat above her upper lip.
His every thought narrowed to pure sensations: the inferno of her body, her thighs locked around his waist, and sweet mouth against his, teeth nibbling his lower lip. The blood rushed beneath her skin, so close as he licked the water off her neck So sweet. So his. He could feel the demon pushing to take over, reducing his thought to the simplicity of the sizzling contact between their writhing bodies.
Wanting. Craving. Golden skin feverish under his tongue. Shiver. Moan. Tight and so wet. Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. God, more. So deep. Need. Need.
'Mine!'
Her inner muscles spasmed, trapped him inside, driving every thought out of his head. He could feel the demon crawling up to the surface. Bones shifting, Buffy’s nails digging into his skin. The tightness of her skin giving way under his fangs then ecstasy. Thick and rich and exquisite as it poured into his starving mouth. The demon inside snarled in possessive need. She was his.
His Buffy.
His everything.
Forever.
The tides of rapture crashed against him, one after the other as he moved inside her. It was too much.
The climax started to ebb, melting down into a steady glow. It was then that her voice drifted as if from great distance.
“Spike, no.”
He realized what he was doing and slid his fangs out of Buffy’s neck. Panicking, he met her dazed eyes. Her heart pounded strongly in her chest deafening him. The way he felt… God, he was truly horrified. He’d never meant to lose control over himself. What if he had drank too much?
'Monster, monster, monster.'
“Buffy… luv… I’m s-sorry.”
He jerked back, sliding out of her and zipped up his jeans. She followed his motion and sat up, one hand cupping her neck.
“It’s all right.”
He stared at her, barely feeling the reassuring caress of her hand as she touched his cheek. It was so fleeting, he almost missed it but once he smelled it, his whole body froze.
Fear.
Just a drop of it, but enough to make him recoil in horror.
“It’s not alright,” he said, as his eyes glazed over with sheen of tears, blurring his vision. “How can you say that?”
“I know you didn’t on it on purpose.”
He shook his head and pulled her hand away from her neck, staring in horror at her bloodied palm. Crimson trickled down from the jagged twin punctures in her throat and trailed down to her breast. How could he? How could she trust him?
His eyes lifted to meet hers and he saw no hatred there. No revulsion, just acceptance. It made it hurt even worse. Knowing she still loved him and he didn’t deserve it.
“I’m sorry,” he said, willing the words to convey what he felt.
“Shh. Don’t be sorry.” She leaned into him and kissed his cheek. The smell of blood was still fresh in the air and having it so close to his mouth didn’t help. Disgusted with himself, he put distance between them.
“I can’t… have to…” He staggered to his feet and gathered his t-shirt and duster before striding over to the open window.
“Spike, wait!”
He stopped but didn’t dare turn around. The shame burned too deep.
“Please don’t go. We can talk about this. I told you I’m not mad. It just surprised me, but I know you’d never hurt me on purpose. I know.”
“How can you know that when I don’t? I just did hurt you, Buffy… after I promised-”
He tensed when she clasped his shoulder. “Don’t do this to yourself. I said I’d love you no matter what. I meant it, you know.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and whispered, “I love you too, but…”
That was why he couldn’t stay. He had to get the control back over himself first. Unable to help himself, Spike turned around briefly, clasped her clean hand in his to press a kiss into her palm and disappeared into the night.
*******
He hadn’t been sure before but he was now. It was the only way. The only way he could leash the demon and keep it under wraps. He had no idea what it was that made him lose it like that tonight. Perhaps the irregular feeding or the way passion overwhelmed him. Probably the combination of both.
Spike couldn’t risk it again. Not when her life was on the line. He never wanted to smell her fear again. Not of him. The soul was the answer, wasn’t it? It would make everything all right again.
It had to.
TBC
Chapter forty-two
A/N: I'm sorry! *irresistible puppy face* My betas have been super busy lately so the updates have been a bit slow. As an apology, here's the update and another one is coming during the weekend! Yay!? There's not many chapters left and I'm really glad I always have about four of them written in reserve since the uni work has been riding me hard! Oooh dirty. Anwyay, hope you like. ;)
Chapter 42
As soon as the sun had set, Spike was on his way to Tara’s. His jaw was set in determination as he lengthened his strides, and in a few minutes he was standing in front of the familiar door, the metal unyielding as he pounded on it with his clenched fist.
He heard her unlatch the door and then she swung it open and stepped back to let him in.
“Hello, Spike.”
“Hey, pet. Glad to see me, are you?” He tried to leer but he had a feeling it came off more as a grimace.
“A-are you okay?”
He chuckled bitterly. “Bloody brilliant.” He walked past her and rubbed his face. The pressure in his chest expanded further, all the emotions bottled inside threatening to burst out. He so badly needed to tell someone. “I hurt her, Tara. I swore to myself I’d never… but it came over me and I didn’t realize and then she… she just…”
“I-is she… I mean-”
“No!” He spun on his heel to stare at her. “I didn’t… she’s alive. But I could have! It would be so fucking easy and I don’t understand how she can still trust me after I… bit her.”
“You b-bit her?”
He turned away again, ashamed. “Didn’t mean to, but it took over me… the way she felt under me, around me…”
He didn’t have to see her to know she blushed, could hear it in the quickened beat of her heart. So innocent, this one was. Hadn’t he been too, once upon a time? It felt like a lifetime ago. A different existence altogether.
“Are you here to… i-it’s okay if you just need to talk to someone-”
“I want you to do the ritual.” He walked towards the book shelf and traced the dusty spines with the tip of his forefinger.
“M-maybe you should… think about it. When your head is clear. This is… I looked into it and it’s too volatile.”
Drusilla’s voice echoed in his head like an ominous threat, “It would burn you, my Spike. Until there’s nothing left.”
He squared his shoulders and glanced at Tara over his shoulder. “I’m willing to take the risk. I’d do anything necessary to… just do it, would you? Please.”
He saw her approach from the corner of his eye before she took a thick tome off the shelf.
“I c-can try. But I’ve never done something like this before so I don’t know if it’ll work.”
He faced her then, the book clutched to her chest as she looked up at him with doubt clouding her eyes.
“It’ll work. You just gather your magical doodads and chant the dead language and presto… one souled vampire coming up. Simple, yeah?”
“Magic like this. It has consequences.”
“I’ll take that risk,” he said in a hoarse voice.
She stared at him then, pinning him with her perceptive eyes, seeking. Whatever she was searching for she must have found, because she nodded and set about gathering the ingredients.
*******
“This bloody stinks,” Spike complained and waved a hand around his face to chase away the smoke rising from the heap of burning herbs on the floor.
“I thought you didn’t need to breathe?”
“Don’t. But I do need air to speak.”
“Don’t speak then,” Tara said with a hint of a teasing smile.
“Cheeky bint,” he muttered good-naturedly though he felt nervous enough to throw up.
Spike watched her trembling fingers as she scanned the crucial page of a book and slowly exhaled and inhaled several times. Sprinkling glittering sand on top of the herbs, she started to read the lines then folded her fingers around a small orb. Chants rolled off her tongue in soft tones then and he could feel the air around them thicken with tension. It beat against his skin in time with her voice, insisting, striving to penetrate his skin to reveal him stripped to the marrow.
The witch’s words blurred together, fading through the roaring in his ears and his eyelids fluttered shut. That was when the energy exploded from within his core, arrows of liquid fire flaring out through his veins. It burned. The heat spread through his every molecule, gathering in intensity until he was gasping, his fingers failing to clutch at the hard wooden floor beneath him. Black dots overwhelmed his vision before he passed out, his scream still resounding in his head.
*******
Did he drink too much? Where was he, and why did the ground keep shaking? He just wanted to go back to sleep.
“Spike, wake up.”
He slapped at the hand shaking his shoulder and rolled over onto his back. Everything hurt. His intestines felt as though they were put through a wringer and light stabbed his sensitive vision when he opened his eyes.
Tara was crouching next to him with a worried expression on her face. She looked just as bad as he felt. It all came to him then. The spell. The feeling of force gathering within him until he couldn’t take it anymore. Funny, somehow he’d thought the energy would slam into him from the outside.
“Did it work? The spell… did it work?”
“I-I don’t know. I felt it happening, b-but it went… it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
He propped himself up and sharply inhaled at the pain. “What do you mean?”
“Spike, you… there was something inside you already. It’s like the soul you’d had when you were human didn’t fully leave. It was yanked in between two places and couldn’t fully settle anywhere. I don’t know what could have made it-”
“I do,” he said. It all came down to the beginning, didn’t it? It was the only explanation. The ritual. The unfinished ritual where the big ugly thing of a hell servant had a hard-on for his soul. Before Darla and Dru came along and damned him in a different way. Yeah, Darla had told him all about it.
After he told Tara this, he said, “So, it did work.”
“I think so. I could feel it working and then it took over me and it was like watching from the sidelines. With what you told me, it makes more sense. The spell must have… fully fixed it in place. Brought it out,” she said and regarded him as though it would be somehow visible on the outside. Perhaps it was. “Can’t you tell?”
But he wasn’t listening to her. His gaze was fixed over her right shoulder at the place next to the shelf with a wooden statue of what looked like a Hindu god. The place where something flickered to life.
A ghost. And it was calling his name.
*******
They were all around him. Like a death shroud, wrapping him in their murderous arms as they whispered his name over and over. Spike buried his head in his hands and breathed loudly in hope of drowning out their voices. The weight of his crimes tore at his insides.
He’d been barely aware of Tara driving him home hours ago. He must have given her the instructions how to get there. He couldn’t remember. How much time had passed since then? At least now his head was starting to clear and he managed to crawl into the bathroom just in time to dry heave over the toilet. He heard his phone ringing insistently and didn’t have to see it to know who was calling him.
It ached, how much he wanted to pick it up and hear her tell him everything would be okay. But…
The ghosts? He could learn to live with them. What they meant. What he couldn’t live was the clarity of knowing how much he didn’t deserve her. Not merely thinking it but truly realizing it for the first time. She was so far beyond his reach. And still he was selfish enough to crave her proximity. The soul hadn’t changed anything at all. It was supposed to fix him and he’d only managed to mess things up even more. But maybe it would stop him from approaching her, from hurting her again. It had to.
The phone kept ringing.
*******
One week later
Buffy was beside herself with worry. After Spike had fled her house six days ago, she tried calling him at first, even left a couple of voicemails. Okay, so it might have been a lot more than just a couple and it was approaching a stalking territory now. Still, no response. She decided to give him some space to get over being ridiculous and try talk to her instead of hiding. This was the sixth day and now she was becoming kind of scared. She picked up the phone and tried calling him again.
This was getting to be too much. It wasn’t like him to just pull a disappearing act without at least letting her know he was fine and pissed he’d bitten her. Didn’t he know she’d worry? That she couldn’t bear even the thought of losing him again?
Enough was enough. God help him if she found him sitting at his apartment in the middle of a drinking binge, he’d be sorry.
*******
Hell, he truly was pathetic. Hiding out at his flat like a coward, staring at the phone clenched in his fist. So far it had rung three times in the last ten minutes. After he’d pulled himself together couple of days ago, he found a great number of messages from Buffy. Deleting them took every ounce of will he possessed. Now he stared at her ID flashing across the screen. He couldn’t let her see him like this. Not before he picked up the pieces.
His stomach was growling but he couldn’t take even the thought of blood without feeling disgust. He had enough of it staining his hands. The ghosts came and went. He mostly ignored them now. There was no use wallowing in guilt over lives he could never give back. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t live with regretting it for as long as he existed.
Spike drew his knees towards his chest and closed his eyes.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
His head jerked up and his heart would be hammering if it could. If he kept still, they’d leave. Never suspect a thing, they would. Nobody here. Nobody worth seeing.
The knocking turned into pounding and a familiar voice yelled through the door, “Spike, open the door! I know you’re there and if you don’t want to see me…fine, but… the least you can do is let me know you’re alive,” Buffy said and fell silent. “Or undead… Spike, if you don’t open this door, I’ll kick it in!”
The phone slipped from his grasp and the stiff muscles in his legs protested when he staggered to his feet.
“I’m serious!”
He could hear her mutter as he warily approached the door and reached for the doorknob with a shaking hand. She was so close. So stubborn. He knew she’d do good on her promise and find her way in with or without his approval, so he slowly opened the door and spun around, turning his back on it.
Buffy pushed the door open and immediately let out a relieved sigh when she spotted him standing in front of her. He was fine and now she could feel anger churning in the pit of stomach for making her scared. But she wouldn’t give into it. Not before she found out what was up with him.
She closed the door behind her. “I called you.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything and he all she could see was his back, his shoulders hunched.
“Spike? Would you please… can you look at me when I talk to you?” What the hell was wrong with him?
He shook his head and sharply inhaled.
Okay, this was getting silly, so she took a couple of steps towards him. His whole body tensed and she could tell he was fighting the instinct to flee.
“What’s this all about? Is it because of the whole bitey thing? Because I told you… I’m not angry. Okay? I’m really not. I know what you are and something like this was bound to happen. I don’t want you to beat yourself over it because I know you have the tendency to do that.”
She waited for some kind of response.
“Spike?”
She put a hand over his shoulder, feeling the muscle tense then relax beneath her touch. What he did then froze her to the bones. He let out a choked sob.
Without hesitation, she spun him around. He dropped his head, bottom lip quivering as he tried to back away from her.
She wouldn’t let him.
TBC
A/N: It'll get better soon, promise. :) Also, did you expect the twist with the Hermes' unfinished ritual and Spike's soul not being completely gone?? Just curious what you think of it.
Chapter 42
As soon as the sun had set, Spike was on his way to Tara’s. His jaw was set in determination as he lengthened his strides, and in a few minutes he was standing in front of the familiar door, the metal unyielding as he pounded on it with his clenched fist.
He heard her unlatch the door and then she swung it open and stepped back to let him in.
“Hello, Spike.”
“Hey, pet. Glad to see me, are you?” He tried to leer but he had a feeling it came off more as a grimace.
“A-are you okay?”
He chuckled bitterly. “Bloody brilliant.” He walked past her and rubbed his face. The pressure in his chest expanded further, all the emotions bottled inside threatening to burst out. He so badly needed to tell someone. “I hurt her, Tara. I swore to myself I’d never… but it came over me and I didn’t realize and then she… she just…”
“I-is she… I mean-”
“No!” He spun on his heel to stare at her. “I didn’t… she’s alive. But I could have! It would be so fucking easy and I don’t understand how she can still trust me after I… bit her.”
“You b-bit her?”
He turned away again, ashamed. “Didn’t mean to, but it took over me… the way she felt under me, around me…”
He didn’t have to see her to know she blushed, could hear it in the quickened beat of her heart. So innocent, this one was. Hadn’t he been too, once upon a time? It felt like a lifetime ago. A different existence altogether.
“Are you here to… i-it’s okay if you just need to talk to someone-”
“I want you to do the ritual.” He walked towards the book shelf and traced the dusty spines with the tip of his forefinger.
“M-maybe you should… think about it. When your head is clear. This is… I looked into it and it’s too volatile.”
Drusilla’s voice echoed in his head like an ominous threat, “It would burn you, my Spike. Until there’s nothing left.”
He squared his shoulders and glanced at Tara over his shoulder. “I’m willing to take the risk. I’d do anything necessary to… just do it, would you? Please.”
He saw her approach from the corner of his eye before she took a thick tome off the shelf.
“I c-can try. But I’ve never done something like this before so I don’t know if it’ll work.”
He faced her then, the book clutched to her chest as she looked up at him with doubt clouding her eyes.
“It’ll work. You just gather your magical doodads and chant the dead language and presto… one souled vampire coming up. Simple, yeah?”
“Magic like this. It has consequences.”
“I’ll take that risk,” he said in a hoarse voice.
She stared at him then, pinning him with her perceptive eyes, seeking. Whatever she was searching for she must have found, because she nodded and set about gathering the ingredients.
*******
“This bloody stinks,” Spike complained and waved a hand around his face to chase away the smoke rising from the heap of burning herbs on the floor.
“I thought you didn’t need to breathe?”
“Don’t. But I do need air to speak.”
“Don’t speak then,” Tara said with a hint of a teasing smile.
“Cheeky bint,” he muttered good-naturedly though he felt nervous enough to throw up.
Spike watched her trembling fingers as she scanned the crucial page of a book and slowly exhaled and inhaled several times. Sprinkling glittering sand on top of the herbs, she started to read the lines then folded her fingers around a small orb. Chants rolled off her tongue in soft tones then and he could feel the air around them thicken with tension. It beat against his skin in time with her voice, insisting, striving to penetrate his skin to reveal him stripped to the marrow.
The witch’s words blurred together, fading through the roaring in his ears and his eyelids fluttered shut. That was when the energy exploded from within his core, arrows of liquid fire flaring out through his veins. It burned. The heat spread through his every molecule, gathering in intensity until he was gasping, his fingers failing to clutch at the hard wooden floor beneath him. Black dots overwhelmed his vision before he passed out, his scream still resounding in his head.
*******
Did he drink too much? Where was he, and why did the ground keep shaking? He just wanted to go back to sleep.
“Spike, wake up.”
He slapped at the hand shaking his shoulder and rolled over onto his back. Everything hurt. His intestines felt as though they were put through a wringer and light stabbed his sensitive vision when he opened his eyes.
Tara was crouching next to him with a worried expression on her face. She looked just as bad as he felt. It all came to him then. The spell. The feeling of force gathering within him until he couldn’t take it anymore. Funny, somehow he’d thought the energy would slam into him from the outside.
“Did it work? The spell… did it work?”
“I-I don’t know. I felt it happening, b-but it went… it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
He propped himself up and sharply inhaled at the pain. “What do you mean?”
“Spike, you… there was something inside you already. It’s like the soul you’d had when you were human didn’t fully leave. It was yanked in between two places and couldn’t fully settle anywhere. I don’t know what could have made it-”
“I do,” he said. It all came down to the beginning, didn’t it? It was the only explanation. The ritual. The unfinished ritual where the big ugly thing of a hell servant had a hard-on for his soul. Before Darla and Dru came along and damned him in a different way. Yeah, Darla had told him all about it.
After he told Tara this, he said, “So, it did work.”
“I think so. I could feel it working and then it took over me and it was like watching from the sidelines. With what you told me, it makes more sense. The spell must have… fully fixed it in place. Brought it out,” she said and regarded him as though it would be somehow visible on the outside. Perhaps it was. “Can’t you tell?”
But he wasn’t listening to her. His gaze was fixed over her right shoulder at the place next to the shelf with a wooden statue of what looked like a Hindu god. The place where something flickered to life.
A ghost. And it was calling his name.
*******
They were all around him. Like a death shroud, wrapping him in their murderous arms as they whispered his name over and over. Spike buried his head in his hands and breathed loudly in hope of drowning out their voices. The weight of his crimes tore at his insides.
He’d been barely aware of Tara driving him home hours ago. He must have given her the instructions how to get there. He couldn’t remember. How much time had passed since then? At least now his head was starting to clear and he managed to crawl into the bathroom just in time to dry heave over the toilet. He heard his phone ringing insistently and didn’t have to see it to know who was calling him.
It ached, how much he wanted to pick it up and hear her tell him everything would be okay. But…
The ghosts? He could learn to live with them. What they meant. What he couldn’t live was the clarity of knowing how much he didn’t deserve her. Not merely thinking it but truly realizing it for the first time. She was so far beyond his reach. And still he was selfish enough to crave her proximity. The soul hadn’t changed anything at all. It was supposed to fix him and he’d only managed to mess things up even more. But maybe it would stop him from approaching her, from hurting her again. It had to.
The phone kept ringing.
*******
One week later
Buffy was beside herself with worry. After Spike had fled her house six days ago, she tried calling him at first, even left a couple of voicemails. Okay, so it might have been a lot more than just a couple and it was approaching a stalking territory now. Still, no response. She decided to give him some space to get over being ridiculous and try talk to her instead of hiding. This was the sixth day and now she was becoming kind of scared. She picked up the phone and tried calling him again.
This was getting to be too much. It wasn’t like him to just pull a disappearing act without at least letting her know he was fine and pissed he’d bitten her. Didn’t he know she’d worry? That she couldn’t bear even the thought of losing him again?
Enough was enough. God help him if she found him sitting at his apartment in the middle of a drinking binge, he’d be sorry.
*******
Hell, he truly was pathetic. Hiding out at his flat like a coward, staring at the phone clenched in his fist. So far it had rung three times in the last ten minutes. After he’d pulled himself together couple of days ago, he found a great number of messages from Buffy. Deleting them took every ounce of will he possessed. Now he stared at her ID flashing across the screen. He couldn’t let her see him like this. Not before he picked up the pieces.
His stomach was growling but he couldn’t take even the thought of blood without feeling disgust. He had enough of it staining his hands. The ghosts came and went. He mostly ignored them now. There was no use wallowing in guilt over lives he could never give back. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t live with regretting it for as long as he existed.
Spike drew his knees towards his chest and closed his eyes.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
His head jerked up and his heart would be hammering if it could. If he kept still, they’d leave. Never suspect a thing, they would. Nobody here. Nobody worth seeing.
The knocking turned into pounding and a familiar voice yelled through the door, “Spike, open the door! I know you’re there and if you don’t want to see me…fine, but… the least you can do is let me know you’re alive,” Buffy said and fell silent. “Or undead… Spike, if you don’t open this door, I’ll kick it in!”
The phone slipped from his grasp and the stiff muscles in his legs protested when he staggered to his feet.
“I’m serious!”
He could hear her mutter as he warily approached the door and reached for the doorknob with a shaking hand. She was so close. So stubborn. He knew she’d do good on her promise and find her way in with or without his approval, so he slowly opened the door and spun around, turning his back on it.
Buffy pushed the door open and immediately let out a relieved sigh when she spotted him standing in front of her. He was fine and now she could feel anger churning in the pit of stomach for making her scared. But she wouldn’t give into it. Not before she found out what was up with him.
She closed the door behind her. “I called you.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything and he all she could see was his back, his shoulders hunched.
“Spike? Would you please… can you look at me when I talk to you?” What the hell was wrong with him?
He shook his head and sharply inhaled.
Okay, this was getting silly, so she took a couple of steps towards him. His whole body tensed and she could tell he was fighting the instinct to flee.
“What’s this all about? Is it because of the whole bitey thing? Because I told you… I’m not angry. Okay? I’m really not. I know what you are and something like this was bound to happen. I don’t want you to beat yourself over it because I know you have the tendency to do that.”
She waited for some kind of response.
“Spike?”
She put a hand over his shoulder, feeling the muscle tense then relax beneath her touch. What he did then froze her to the bones. He let out a choked sob.
Without hesitation, she spun him around. He dropped his head, bottom lip quivering as he tried to back away from her.
She wouldn’t let him.
TBC
A/N: It'll get better soon, promise. :) Also, did you expect the twist with the Hermes' unfinished ritual and Spike's soul not being completely gone?? Just curious what you think of it.
Chapter forty-three
A/N: As I promised! ;) Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Pretty banner by xaphania
Chapter 43
No matter how much he wanted to create distance between them, she’d just follow him until he told her what was going on here.
“Spike, you’re scaring me. What happened?”
Breath caught in his throat before he lifted his gaze to hers. The torment reflected back at her stunned her deeply. His trembling fingers curled into the fabric of her t-shirt, but he still seemed terrified to get any closer. She slipped her arms around his waist to pull him into her embrace.
At that, Spike collapsed against her, and she had to brace herself so they wouldn’t fall to the floor. His tears soaked her shoulder, as he crumbled right in her arms. She had no idea what to do so she just held him tighter, pressing a kiss into his hair.
“Shh. Whatever it is, we’ll deal. I promise.”
He shook his head and pushed her away, a grimace on his face as he angrily wiped tears away. She just stood there, not knowing what to say or do. The hands at his sides clenched into fists before he spun away and picked up the nearest object—a vase—and threw it at the wall.
Before she could blink, he was standing in front of her, staring at her with red-rimmed eyes that oozed desperation. “Why are you here?”
“Because I was worried about you. Obviously, I was right to be.”
“You should have dusted me the first time you laid eyes on me after I became…. this. Do yourself a favour,” he said with en empty laugh. “Do the whole bloody world a favour.”
“What?”
He started to laugh, as if listening to a private joke she couldn’t hear. “’S so funny, right? I’ve always appreciated a good irony but this just takes the cake… this is what I get. Trying to do the right thing. Trying so fucking hard all the time, finally thinking I found the solution to it all. To be someone. Should have known better.”
She tried to sort through his babbling, but it was hard to think when he was so close to her, his face twisted with so many emotions it was hard to keep track. “Spike, what are you talking about?”
“William, of course. Me.”
“I-I don’t-”
He clasped her shoulders and leaned into her ear. “Can’t see them, can you? They remember what I’ve done. Didn’t regret it then. Can’t change it now.”
“See who? Spike… just tell me what the hell is going on here! I haven’t heard from you for days and now I come here, and you’re spewing all kinds of nonsense, and I just want you to tell me…”
He put distance between them again, two steps out of her each. “I hurt you.”
She sighed. “I told you it was oka-”
“But it’s not. Made a promise and I keep breaking it. Over and over. You see… vampire here, yeah? I could smell it… just a tiny drop of it, but still… fear. Made all the difference this time, you being afraid of me. Can’t have that.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he lifted his finger and pressed it against her lips to silence her, then dropped his hand. “Know what you’re gonna say. You just didn’t expect it. I surprised you. But your body doesn’t lie. Somewhere deep inside, you felt it… You thought I wouldn’t be able to stop. I know you trust me though I don’t deserve it, but… the thing is… I didn’t trust myself. So I… I fixed it.”
He lifted his chin and pinned her with a daring gaze, challenging her to contradict him or to agree. She felt as though the pit of her stomach dropped out. Fixed it? Fixed it how?
“What did you do?”
He chuckled. “I went and got it. The part of me… the part you fell in love with in the first place. Funny thing is…” He splayed his hand across his chest. “It’s been here all along. Hidden and torn. No excuses. All the things I’ve done, the people I… no one else to blame. I just… wanted them to hurt. Took the edge off…I got to forget for a second.
“And now… I’m whole,” he said with a snort. “Heart, body and…”
The corner of his lips lifted in a self-deprecating smile.
Wheels were spinning in her mind so fast she felt faint. Wasn’t this what Giles told her all about? What she had been so convinced of herself? Demons were soulless monsters. Nothing more. Only it wasn’t true anymore, was it? Not in Spike’s case.
“Oh God… you… how?”
“Found a witch to help a fella out.”
She was drawn to him, searching his eyes for anything different, but he was… he was the same. William. Spike. Both man and a demon.
“Why?”
“So I’d be a man worthy of you,” he said mockingly, as if realizing how ridiculous the very notion was. “Didn’t realize the soul would only confirm how much I’ve never been wor-”
She cut him off with a hard kiss, her lips bruising his as she cupped the back of his neck and forced him closer. At first, he resisted but it wasn’t long before his lips turned pliant under hers. What he did… it was a sacrifice she would never have asked. She’d have loved him regardless, because he was still her William. But the fact he did do what she thought impossible made her love him even more. Pouring her emotions thought the kiss was the only way she could think of to make him see that.
She parted from him, his breath tickling her lips. “You’ve always been worthy of me.”
“’S not true. Thanks for lying to me though.”
She gripped his chin—hard-- and forced him to look at her. “I am not lying. I know you’re hardly perfect, and what you’ve done… I’ll never forget it, but if you think I’m just going to give up on you, you don’t know me at all.”
He reached out with his hand, his fingers millimeters away from her cheek, and she held her breath. Warmth spread through her when his fingertips grazed her skin warily, his gaze following the motion. “I do know you. I just wish you realized how much pain I’ve caused you.”
“I lost you once and I’m not going through that again. You’re mine, Spike. I never give up on those I love.”
Still not looking her in the eye, he shifted his fingers to comb them through her hair as he whispered, “I love you. And, God help me… I need you. Need you so much.”
“You have me.”
*******
It seemed as though she should stay. He said she should go, but his eyes pleaded with her to not leave him alone and she was helpless to refuse him. Not wanting Faith to worry, she’d called on her cell to tell her she’d be home later. Giles was due to come from his official Council meeting some time now and Faith would pass the message, Buffy was sure.
“You should eat something,” she said and stroked the soft concave of his stomach where she’d slipped her hand beneath his t-shirt as they lay on the bed.
His eyelids were closed, the lashes stark black against his sallow skin. “Not hungry.”
There were shadows under his eyes, the hollows of his cheeks just a bit darker as she raked her gaze over him. His skin seemed fragile, and she was afraid it would tear like paper so she touched him carefully.
“When was the last time you fed?”
He shrugged, the muscles of his stomach tensing beneath her caress. “Can’t remember… before, I think.”
“You need to eat, Spike. You can’t just be starving yourself.”
“It’s not… I just… I lost track of time, is all. Couldn’t move, didn’t want to. I had something in the refrigerator, but it must have gone bad.”
“Maybe I should go get you something?”
She moved to sit up when his hand shot out and clasped around her wrist. “No. Don’t go. Please, stay here. They’re quiet when you’re here.”
His eyes were burning into hers and she reluctantly lay back, sensing more than seeing him relax.
“Who’s quiet, Spike?”
“The ghosts. They’re not around when you’re here.”
“Maybe they’re afraid I’ll slay them.”
He smiled at that and turned on his side to face her. “Yeah. Can’t blame them.”
She ran a finger across his cracked lips and frowned. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“You need to drink but you won’t let me go out. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to help you.”
“You’re here. That’s all I need.”
“Spike…”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Not if you’re doing it to change the subject,” Buffy said and entangled her legs with his.
“Nobody knows me the way you do,” he said with a smile then his brows furrowed in thought. “Where do you think my soul will go when I’m dust?”
Buffy leaned away from him then, watching him with serious eyes. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“Don’t rightly know. I’ve just remembered… Tara said that my soul has been torn in between two places, yeah? With the ritual that caused it, I figured it was hell bound and all. That I’ll go there one way or another.”
Buffy gripped his jaw, forcing him to look at her. “Don’t talk like that. You’re not going to h-”
“Where else would I go? I deserve what’s coming to me.”
“Would you stop that? You’re not dusting anytime soon. I won’t let you. And even if it was true, don’t you think I’d fight my way through hell and back to get you out?”
The conviction, the stubbornness etched into the lines of her face made the warmth spread through him. So fierce and overprotective, his girl was.
“Am I your Eurydice now?” he asked, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a reluctant smile.
“You bet your cute little butt you are.” She squeezed the butt in question, making his eyes drift shut in pleasure when she nibbled on his neck. “Nobody lays a hand on you.”
“I love it when you’re all possessive.”
“Whatever comes in our way, we’ll deal with.”
How he wanted to believe her.
“I know we will,” he said.
Tightening his arms around, he let her presence drown his senses. Now wasn’t the time to tell her. The ghosts weren’t the only thing plaguing his mind. Not with the echoes of his nightmares still reverberating through his brain, red eyes of the monster disguised as man flashing with a promise.
'It’s just a matter of time, William, before your soul belongs to me.'
TBC
Pretty banner by xaphania
Chapter 43
No matter how much he wanted to create distance between them, she’d just follow him until he told her what was going on here.
“Spike, you’re scaring me. What happened?”
Breath caught in his throat before he lifted his gaze to hers. The torment reflected back at her stunned her deeply. His trembling fingers curled into the fabric of her t-shirt, but he still seemed terrified to get any closer. She slipped her arms around his waist to pull him into her embrace.
At that, Spike collapsed against her, and she had to brace herself so they wouldn’t fall to the floor. His tears soaked her shoulder, as he crumbled right in her arms. She had no idea what to do so she just held him tighter, pressing a kiss into his hair.
“Shh. Whatever it is, we’ll deal. I promise.”
He shook his head and pushed her away, a grimace on his face as he angrily wiped tears away. She just stood there, not knowing what to say or do. The hands at his sides clenched into fists before he spun away and picked up the nearest object—a vase—and threw it at the wall.
Before she could blink, he was standing in front of her, staring at her with red-rimmed eyes that oozed desperation. “Why are you here?”
“Because I was worried about you. Obviously, I was right to be.”
“You should have dusted me the first time you laid eyes on me after I became…. this. Do yourself a favour,” he said with en empty laugh. “Do the whole bloody world a favour.”
“What?”
He started to laugh, as if listening to a private joke she couldn’t hear. “’S so funny, right? I’ve always appreciated a good irony but this just takes the cake… this is what I get. Trying to do the right thing. Trying so fucking hard all the time, finally thinking I found the solution to it all. To be someone. Should have known better.”
She tried to sort through his babbling, but it was hard to think when he was so close to her, his face twisted with so many emotions it was hard to keep track. “Spike, what are you talking about?”
“William, of course. Me.”
“I-I don’t-”
He clasped her shoulders and leaned into her ear. “Can’t see them, can you? They remember what I’ve done. Didn’t regret it then. Can’t change it now.”
“See who? Spike… just tell me what the hell is going on here! I haven’t heard from you for days and now I come here, and you’re spewing all kinds of nonsense, and I just want you to tell me…”
He put distance between them again, two steps out of her each. “I hurt you.”
She sighed. “I told you it was oka-”
“But it’s not. Made a promise and I keep breaking it. Over and over. You see… vampire here, yeah? I could smell it… just a tiny drop of it, but still… fear. Made all the difference this time, you being afraid of me. Can’t have that.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he lifted his finger and pressed it against her lips to silence her, then dropped his hand. “Know what you’re gonna say. You just didn’t expect it. I surprised you. But your body doesn’t lie. Somewhere deep inside, you felt it… You thought I wouldn’t be able to stop. I know you trust me though I don’t deserve it, but… the thing is… I didn’t trust myself. So I… I fixed it.”
He lifted his chin and pinned her with a daring gaze, challenging her to contradict him or to agree. She felt as though the pit of her stomach dropped out. Fixed it? Fixed it how?
“What did you do?”
He chuckled. “I went and got it. The part of me… the part you fell in love with in the first place. Funny thing is…” He splayed his hand across his chest. “It’s been here all along. Hidden and torn. No excuses. All the things I’ve done, the people I… no one else to blame. I just… wanted them to hurt. Took the edge off…I got to forget for a second.
“And now… I’m whole,” he said with a snort. “Heart, body and…”
The corner of his lips lifted in a self-deprecating smile.
Wheels were spinning in her mind so fast she felt faint. Wasn’t this what Giles told her all about? What she had been so convinced of herself? Demons were soulless monsters. Nothing more. Only it wasn’t true anymore, was it? Not in Spike’s case.
“Oh God… you… how?”
“Found a witch to help a fella out.”
She was drawn to him, searching his eyes for anything different, but he was… he was the same. William. Spike. Both man and a demon.
“Why?”
“So I’d be a man worthy of you,” he said mockingly, as if realizing how ridiculous the very notion was. “Didn’t realize the soul would only confirm how much I’ve never been wor-”
She cut him off with a hard kiss, her lips bruising his as she cupped the back of his neck and forced him closer. At first, he resisted but it wasn’t long before his lips turned pliant under hers. What he did… it was a sacrifice she would never have asked. She’d have loved him regardless, because he was still her William. But the fact he did do what she thought impossible made her love him even more. Pouring her emotions thought the kiss was the only way she could think of to make him see that.
She parted from him, his breath tickling her lips. “You’ve always been worthy of me.”
“’S not true. Thanks for lying to me though.”
She gripped his chin—hard-- and forced him to look at her. “I am not lying. I know you’re hardly perfect, and what you’ve done… I’ll never forget it, but if you think I’m just going to give up on you, you don’t know me at all.”
He reached out with his hand, his fingers millimeters away from her cheek, and she held her breath. Warmth spread through her when his fingertips grazed her skin warily, his gaze following the motion. “I do know you. I just wish you realized how much pain I’ve caused you.”
“I lost you once and I’m not going through that again. You’re mine, Spike. I never give up on those I love.”
Still not looking her in the eye, he shifted his fingers to comb them through her hair as he whispered, “I love you. And, God help me… I need you. Need you so much.”
“You have me.”
*******
It seemed as though she should stay. He said she should go, but his eyes pleaded with her to not leave him alone and she was helpless to refuse him. Not wanting Faith to worry, she’d called on her cell to tell her she’d be home later. Giles was due to come from his official Council meeting some time now and Faith would pass the message, Buffy was sure.
“You should eat something,” she said and stroked the soft concave of his stomach where she’d slipped her hand beneath his t-shirt as they lay on the bed.
His eyelids were closed, the lashes stark black against his sallow skin. “Not hungry.”
There were shadows under his eyes, the hollows of his cheeks just a bit darker as she raked her gaze over him. His skin seemed fragile, and she was afraid it would tear like paper so she touched him carefully.
“When was the last time you fed?”
He shrugged, the muscles of his stomach tensing beneath her caress. “Can’t remember… before, I think.”
“You need to eat, Spike. You can’t just be starving yourself.”
“It’s not… I just… I lost track of time, is all. Couldn’t move, didn’t want to. I had something in the refrigerator, but it must have gone bad.”
“Maybe I should go get you something?”
She moved to sit up when his hand shot out and clasped around her wrist. “No. Don’t go. Please, stay here. They’re quiet when you’re here.”
His eyes were burning into hers and she reluctantly lay back, sensing more than seeing him relax.
“Who’s quiet, Spike?”
“The ghosts. They’re not around when you’re here.”
“Maybe they’re afraid I’ll slay them.”
He smiled at that and turned on his side to face her. “Yeah. Can’t blame them.”
She ran a finger across his cracked lips and frowned. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“You need to drink but you won’t let me go out. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to help you.”
“You’re here. That’s all I need.”
“Spike…”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Not if you’re doing it to change the subject,” Buffy said and entangled her legs with his.
“Nobody knows me the way you do,” he said with a smile then his brows furrowed in thought. “Where do you think my soul will go when I’m dust?”
Buffy leaned away from him then, watching him with serious eyes. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“Don’t rightly know. I’ve just remembered… Tara said that my soul has been torn in between two places, yeah? With the ritual that caused it, I figured it was hell bound and all. That I’ll go there one way or another.”
Buffy gripped his jaw, forcing him to look at her. “Don’t talk like that. You’re not going to h-”
“Where else would I go? I deserve what’s coming to me.”
“Would you stop that? You’re not dusting anytime soon. I won’t let you. And even if it was true, don’t you think I’d fight my way through hell and back to get you out?”
The conviction, the stubbornness etched into the lines of her face made the warmth spread through him. So fierce and overprotective, his girl was.
“Am I your Eurydice now?” he asked, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a reluctant smile.
“You bet your cute little butt you are.” She squeezed the butt in question, making his eyes drift shut in pleasure when she nibbled on his neck. “Nobody lays a hand on you.”
“I love it when you’re all possessive.”
“Whatever comes in our way, we’ll deal with.”
How he wanted to believe her.
“I know we will,” he said.
Tightening his arms around, he let her presence drown his senses. Now wasn’t the time to tell her. The ghosts weren’t the only thing plaguing his mind. Not with the echoes of his nightmares still reverberating through his brain, red eyes of the monster disguised as man flashing with a promise.
'It’s just a matter of time, William, before your soul belongs to me.'
TBC
Chapter forty-four
A/N: Beta'd by awesome dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Chapter 44
Giles stalked down a narrow corridor and stopped in front of the door 236. The fluorescent lights flickered above his head, the buzzing sound filling the space. He slightly adjusted the collar of his shirt before he raised his hand and knocked three times.
The chain rattled as the room’s occupant unlocked the door and peered at him.
“Hello, Joyce,” he said. “May I come in?”
*******
She loved the way his hair curled at his forehead, how soft it was as she slowly ran her fingers through it. It reminded her so much of William’s insistently out of hand hair. Good thing no amount of bleach and gel could tame it.
“Spike… do you regret it? Getting your soul back?”
His eyes were still closed where he rested against her breast. “No. You’d think I would, but I don’t. It was a right thing to do, wasn’t it? Even if it isn’t easy.”
“I feel guilty,” she admitted, not stopping her caresses.
“You? Why?”
“Because now you’re hurting and it’s all my fault.”
“Buffy, that’s a load of bullshit. I brought this on myself. You’re… you make me want to be someone better. You always have. Large part of this is all about you, yeah, but… it was for me too. Wanted to be real, however daft it may sound.”
“It’s not. I get it. I get you.”
“Yeah, you do,” he said with a soft voice and all but purred as she lightly scratched his scalp.
“You know what I’d love to see?” he asked after a while.
“Do tell.”
“You. Patrolling. All feisty and kicking the crap out of some poor unsuspecting sod. Wouldn’t hurt if you wore a miniskirt while you were at it.”
How well she knew this part of him, him trying to hide the pain by slipping on the mask of seduction and flirting. He didn’t want to dwell on the consequences of his actions and that was fine with her. Whatever he needed, she’d follow.
“Is that what you’ve been thinking about? Perv.”
“You got me there. So… can I watch?”
“Just watch,” she said in disbelief. As if he could stay put for longer than a minute.
“I’d probably give you a hand too… only if you wanted me to of course.”
“That would be nice. I haven’t seen you fight.”
“Think I can’t do it? We could have ourselves a little sparring match, what do you say?”
That idea actually held a lot of appeal. “I’m up for the challenge. I’ll totally kick your skinny white butt.”
He growled against her playfully and propped himself up on an elbow to pin her to the mattress with the heated look that always turned her to mush. Suddenly the only thing on her mind was longing for him. His closeness. His touch.
“You like my butt,” Spike said
“Do not.”
“Liar.” His fingers trailed up her arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “Well, I sure do love your arse. All round and tight, just begging me for a bite.”
“You’re so… ugh.”
“Hot? Charming? Irresistible?”
“Umm… how about full of yourself?”
“Oh, now you’re gonna get it, Summers!” He swooped in and blew raspberry kisses all over her neck, making her squirm and laugh.
“Stop!”
“Not a chance in hell,” he said and started to tickle her ribs.
She gasped and squealed, trying to fight off his grip. He chuckled evilly and eventually stopped, looking smug as she panted from laughing so hard.
“That was… so not fair!”
“I do believe you’re right,” he said in mock seriousness and settled half of his weight on top of her before leaning down to pepper her face with quick kisses. “Should I make up for it?”
She brought up her hands and locked them behind his neck. “I require lots and lots of groveling.”
“Lots and lots, huh?” He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “That sounds as if it might take a while.”
She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Yup. Which means you better get started.”
Her eyes closed as he leaned in, his lips barely brushing hers, and she parted hers in anticipation. When he kept up the barely there contact, she lifted her head to capture his mouth but he pulled away with a chuckle. After she sent him her best glare, he gave up the teasing and finally kissed her.
His lips were soft but firm as he softly suckled on hers. Butterflies flapped their wings in her stomach and she doubted it would ever change. She could spend hours in his embrace, just tasting him, feeling his body on hers.
The fine hair at the back of his neck tickled her fingers as she pulled him even closer to deepen the kiss. Spike groaned and slowly stroked her side before caressing her hip. There was no urgency to take things further, just the simple need to be close.
Her phone started to ring but she was determined to ignore it and nipped at Spike’s lips.
“You should get that,” he mumbled and trailed his lips along her jaw.
“Don’t wanna.”
“It might be important.”
The phone rang insistently and Buffy slumped in defeat. “Hand me the purse, would you?”
Spike rolled off her and reached down to the floor to grasp the bag before handing it to her. Quickly, Buffy unzipped it and took out her phone, flipping it open.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, B. It’s me. I hate to interrupt you, but Giles called to say he’d be back tomorrow.”
“And that was so important you had to call me now?”
“No need to get all snippy with me. He said he was bringing someone with him, and… well, I’m supposed to be the one to tell you since he thought you’d take it better from me.”
“Okay, now you’re just being vague. Faith, stop beating around the bush and tell me.”
“It’s your mom.”
“What? What about her? I don’t unders-”
“Giles said she was in London and wanted to see you. Apparently, she doesn’t take no for an answer so Giles is taking her with him to Bath. That’s all he told me.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry for telling you this over the phone, but I didn’t know when you’d be home, so… I wanted to give you the heads up.”
“No, it’s… Thanks. I’m glad you told me. Just… kind of overwhelmed,” Buffy said. “I’ll see you later.”
“See you, B.”
Spike watched Buffy’s lips draw a thin line as she let the phone slip from her fingers. When she just kept staring blankly at the dark bedspread, he crawled closer to her on his hands and knees and put an arm around her shoulders. Without a word, she leaned against him and exhaled heavily.
“You heard?” she said.
“Yeah, I did. How do you feel?”
She picked up his hand and played with his fingers. “I don’t know what I feel right now. I can’t decide if I’m angry or terrified or glad.”
“You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to. You can stay here with me.”
“Thanks but… I think I’ll have to face her eventually. Tell her… I don’t even know what to tell her,” she said with a soft voice, and he pressed a kiss to her temple, needing to comfort her.
“You’ll figure it out. That’s what you do.”
“I’m not as strong as you think.”
“Yes, you are. You’re the strongest person I know. You just can’t see it. And your mum… well, if she’s barmy enough not to realize it either, then she doesn’t deserve you.”
“I don’t even know why she’d come here now. It’s not like she gave a damn all this time and suddenly she wants to see me. Well, what if I don’t want to see her? You know… I don’t know what would have happened to me if Giles hadn’t found me that night. If he hadn’t given me home. I had no money and no place to go and where was she then? Where was my mother when I thought you had died and I so badly needed her? Does she even… does she even care about me?”
“Buffy…”
“No, don’t. I’m sorry.”
God, she was so fragile in his arms and it broke him to see her hurting. He wished he was able to allay all her fears and figure it out for her. But all he could do was be there for her, so he enclosed her in his embrace and lay down.
“Don’t think about it now. Just let me… let me hold you.”
She pressed her face into his neck and touched her trembling lips to his skin. “What would I do without you?”
“You’ll always have me.”
*******
In the last hour or so, Buffy had developed a nervous tic. Her eyelid twitched again and she slapped her hand over it as she sat on the couch. The clock ticked. It was eight minutes past nine already. Her knee started to bounce.
“B, would you relax?”
“Can’t.”
Faith sat down next to her and put her hand over Buffy’s bouncing knee to stop it. “I’ve got your back.”
“I know, but this wait is killing me.”
She stood up and paced around the living room.
“Have I told you that William has turned into quite a hottie?”
Buffy froze mid-pace and turned to her friend with a quirked eyebrow. She was well aware Faith was trying to distract her by rapidly changing the subject, and it worked. Sort of.
“He’s always been hot to me.”
Faith propped up her legs on the coffee table. “Well, he’s extra hot as a vamp then. Who would have thought?”
“Hands off my boyfriend,” Buffy said with a smile. “He’s been branded and claimed.”
Faith grinned. “Well, once you have a taste of Buffy, there’s no going back.”
“Yup.”
“So is he… okay?”
Buffy shrugged and walked over to sit on the chair opposite Faith. “I guess. I didn’t want to leave him, but he said he would spank me if I stayed only because of him. But I’m so checking if he’s okay as soon as possible.”
At Faith’s amused expression, Buffy added, “Not spank as in… you know… kinky sexy spanking, but… I’m just shutting up right now.”
“Don’t do so on my account,” Faith said then frowned. “You know it’s not fair you’re getting more action than I do, right?”
Buffy tilted her head back and laughed. She could always count on Faith to improve her mood.
“Sorry,” Buffy said with a wide grin.
“Sorry my ass, B.”
As Buffy was about to retort, keys jingled in the lock before it swung open and Giles stepped in. She shot to her feet and wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs.
“Hey, old man!” Faith greeted, which earned her an eye-roll from Giles as he closed the door.
Wait, closed the door? Where the hell was her mother?
“Giles, I thought… where is…”
He put the suitcase on the floor and approached her. “Your mother is staying at the hotel. I offered for her to stay here, but we both thought it would be better if she gave you some space. Er… let you decide when you wanted to meet her.”
Buffy was pretty sure it was Giles who thought so, and she was grateful. Still, the anxiety wouldn’t leave her.
“Where is she staying?”
Giles patted the pockets of his tweed jacket and drew out a slip of paper then put it into her hand. “I can drive you if you want. Let me know when.”
She hugged him briefly and tucked the paper into her jeans. “Thank you. I’ll do that.”
“Alright,” Giles said then walked into the kitchen. “Anyone want a pizza for a dinner?”
“I do!” Faith called. “Don’t forget-”
“Chili, I know,” Giles said tolerantly and turned to Buffy. “Extra cheese?”
She nodded. “Umm… I’ll just… I need to… walk for a while but I’ll be back soon.”
They both seemed to know why exactly she wanted to walk, but didn’t comment on it.
It was time to face her mother.
TBC
A/N: Any guesses on how it's going to go? ;)
Chapter 44
Giles stalked down a narrow corridor and stopped in front of the door 236. The fluorescent lights flickered above his head, the buzzing sound filling the space. He slightly adjusted the collar of his shirt before he raised his hand and knocked three times.
The chain rattled as the room’s occupant unlocked the door and peered at him.
“Hello, Joyce,” he said. “May I come in?”
*******
She loved the way his hair curled at his forehead, how soft it was as she slowly ran her fingers through it. It reminded her so much of William’s insistently out of hand hair. Good thing no amount of bleach and gel could tame it.
“Spike… do you regret it? Getting your soul back?”
His eyes were still closed where he rested against her breast. “No. You’d think I would, but I don’t. It was a right thing to do, wasn’t it? Even if it isn’t easy.”
“I feel guilty,” she admitted, not stopping her caresses.
“You? Why?”
“Because now you’re hurting and it’s all my fault.”
“Buffy, that’s a load of bullshit. I brought this on myself. You’re… you make me want to be someone better. You always have. Large part of this is all about you, yeah, but… it was for me too. Wanted to be real, however daft it may sound.”
“It’s not. I get it. I get you.”
“Yeah, you do,” he said with a soft voice and all but purred as she lightly scratched his scalp.
“You know what I’d love to see?” he asked after a while.
“Do tell.”
“You. Patrolling. All feisty and kicking the crap out of some poor unsuspecting sod. Wouldn’t hurt if you wore a miniskirt while you were at it.”
How well she knew this part of him, him trying to hide the pain by slipping on the mask of seduction and flirting. He didn’t want to dwell on the consequences of his actions and that was fine with her. Whatever he needed, she’d follow.
“Is that what you’ve been thinking about? Perv.”
“You got me there. So… can I watch?”
“Just watch,” she said in disbelief. As if he could stay put for longer than a minute.
“I’d probably give you a hand too… only if you wanted me to of course.”
“That would be nice. I haven’t seen you fight.”
“Think I can’t do it? We could have ourselves a little sparring match, what do you say?”
That idea actually held a lot of appeal. “I’m up for the challenge. I’ll totally kick your skinny white butt.”
He growled against her playfully and propped himself up on an elbow to pin her to the mattress with the heated look that always turned her to mush. Suddenly the only thing on her mind was longing for him. His closeness. His touch.
“You like my butt,” Spike said
“Do not.”
“Liar.” His fingers trailed up her arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “Well, I sure do love your arse. All round and tight, just begging me for a bite.”
“You’re so… ugh.”
“Hot? Charming? Irresistible?”
“Umm… how about full of yourself?”
“Oh, now you’re gonna get it, Summers!” He swooped in and blew raspberry kisses all over her neck, making her squirm and laugh.
“Stop!”
“Not a chance in hell,” he said and started to tickle her ribs.
She gasped and squealed, trying to fight off his grip. He chuckled evilly and eventually stopped, looking smug as she panted from laughing so hard.
“That was… so not fair!”
“I do believe you’re right,” he said in mock seriousness and settled half of his weight on top of her before leaning down to pepper her face with quick kisses. “Should I make up for it?”
She brought up her hands and locked them behind his neck. “I require lots and lots of groveling.”
“Lots and lots, huh?” He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “That sounds as if it might take a while.”
She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Yup. Which means you better get started.”
Her eyes closed as he leaned in, his lips barely brushing hers, and she parted hers in anticipation. When he kept up the barely there contact, she lifted her head to capture his mouth but he pulled away with a chuckle. After she sent him her best glare, he gave up the teasing and finally kissed her.
His lips were soft but firm as he softly suckled on hers. Butterflies flapped their wings in her stomach and she doubted it would ever change. She could spend hours in his embrace, just tasting him, feeling his body on hers.
The fine hair at the back of his neck tickled her fingers as she pulled him even closer to deepen the kiss. Spike groaned and slowly stroked her side before caressing her hip. There was no urgency to take things further, just the simple need to be close.
Her phone started to ring but she was determined to ignore it and nipped at Spike’s lips.
“You should get that,” he mumbled and trailed his lips along her jaw.
“Don’t wanna.”
“It might be important.”
The phone rang insistently and Buffy slumped in defeat. “Hand me the purse, would you?”
Spike rolled off her and reached down to the floor to grasp the bag before handing it to her. Quickly, Buffy unzipped it and took out her phone, flipping it open.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, B. It’s me. I hate to interrupt you, but Giles called to say he’d be back tomorrow.”
“And that was so important you had to call me now?”
“No need to get all snippy with me. He said he was bringing someone with him, and… well, I’m supposed to be the one to tell you since he thought you’d take it better from me.”
“Okay, now you’re just being vague. Faith, stop beating around the bush and tell me.”
“It’s your mom.”
“What? What about her? I don’t unders-”
“Giles said she was in London and wanted to see you. Apparently, she doesn’t take no for an answer so Giles is taking her with him to Bath. That’s all he told me.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry for telling you this over the phone, but I didn’t know when you’d be home, so… I wanted to give you the heads up.”
“No, it’s… Thanks. I’m glad you told me. Just… kind of overwhelmed,” Buffy said. “I’ll see you later.”
“See you, B.”
Spike watched Buffy’s lips draw a thin line as she let the phone slip from her fingers. When she just kept staring blankly at the dark bedspread, he crawled closer to her on his hands and knees and put an arm around her shoulders. Without a word, she leaned against him and exhaled heavily.
“You heard?” she said.
“Yeah, I did. How do you feel?”
She picked up his hand and played with his fingers. “I don’t know what I feel right now. I can’t decide if I’m angry or terrified or glad.”
“You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to. You can stay here with me.”
“Thanks but… I think I’ll have to face her eventually. Tell her… I don’t even know what to tell her,” she said with a soft voice, and he pressed a kiss to her temple, needing to comfort her.
“You’ll figure it out. That’s what you do.”
“I’m not as strong as you think.”
“Yes, you are. You’re the strongest person I know. You just can’t see it. And your mum… well, if she’s barmy enough not to realize it either, then she doesn’t deserve you.”
“I don’t even know why she’d come here now. It’s not like she gave a damn all this time and suddenly she wants to see me. Well, what if I don’t want to see her? You know… I don’t know what would have happened to me if Giles hadn’t found me that night. If he hadn’t given me home. I had no money and no place to go and where was she then? Where was my mother when I thought you had died and I so badly needed her? Does she even… does she even care about me?”
“Buffy…”
“No, don’t. I’m sorry.”
God, she was so fragile in his arms and it broke him to see her hurting. He wished he was able to allay all her fears and figure it out for her. But all he could do was be there for her, so he enclosed her in his embrace and lay down.
“Don’t think about it now. Just let me… let me hold you.”
She pressed her face into his neck and touched her trembling lips to his skin. “What would I do without you?”
“You’ll always have me.”
*******
In the last hour or so, Buffy had developed a nervous tic. Her eyelid twitched again and she slapped her hand over it as she sat on the couch. The clock ticked. It was eight minutes past nine already. Her knee started to bounce.
“B, would you relax?”
“Can’t.”
Faith sat down next to her and put her hand over Buffy’s bouncing knee to stop it. “I’ve got your back.”
“I know, but this wait is killing me.”
She stood up and paced around the living room.
“Have I told you that William has turned into quite a hottie?”
Buffy froze mid-pace and turned to her friend with a quirked eyebrow. She was well aware Faith was trying to distract her by rapidly changing the subject, and it worked. Sort of.
“He’s always been hot to me.”
Faith propped up her legs on the coffee table. “Well, he’s extra hot as a vamp then. Who would have thought?”
“Hands off my boyfriend,” Buffy said with a smile. “He’s been branded and claimed.”
Faith grinned. “Well, once you have a taste of Buffy, there’s no going back.”
“Yup.”
“So is he… okay?”
Buffy shrugged and walked over to sit on the chair opposite Faith. “I guess. I didn’t want to leave him, but he said he would spank me if I stayed only because of him. But I’m so checking if he’s okay as soon as possible.”
At Faith’s amused expression, Buffy added, “Not spank as in… you know… kinky sexy spanking, but… I’m just shutting up right now.”
“Don’t do so on my account,” Faith said then frowned. “You know it’s not fair you’re getting more action than I do, right?”
Buffy tilted her head back and laughed. She could always count on Faith to improve her mood.
“Sorry,” Buffy said with a wide grin.
“Sorry my ass, B.”
As Buffy was about to retort, keys jingled in the lock before it swung open and Giles stepped in. She shot to her feet and wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs.
“Hey, old man!” Faith greeted, which earned her an eye-roll from Giles as he closed the door.
Wait, closed the door? Where the hell was her mother?
“Giles, I thought… where is…”
He put the suitcase on the floor and approached her. “Your mother is staying at the hotel. I offered for her to stay here, but we both thought it would be better if she gave you some space. Er… let you decide when you wanted to meet her.”
Buffy was pretty sure it was Giles who thought so, and she was grateful. Still, the anxiety wouldn’t leave her.
“Where is she staying?”
Giles patted the pockets of his tweed jacket and drew out a slip of paper then put it into her hand. “I can drive you if you want. Let me know when.”
She hugged him briefly and tucked the paper into her jeans. “Thank you. I’ll do that.”
“Alright,” Giles said then walked into the kitchen. “Anyone want a pizza for a dinner?”
“I do!” Faith called. “Don’t forget-”
“Chili, I know,” Giles said tolerantly and turned to Buffy. “Extra cheese?”
She nodded. “Umm… I’ll just… I need to… walk for a while but I’ll be back soon.”
They both seemed to know why exactly she wanted to walk, but didn’t comment on it.
It was time to face her mother.
TBC
A/N: Any guesses on how it's going to go? ;)
Chapter forty-five
A/N: Hi there much loved readers. There's only about four chapters left after this one, so for all of you who came this far, you're AWESOME. Anyway, enjoy. :)
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Beautiful banner by xaphania
Chapter 45
This was starting to get ridiculous. Really. What was the point of pacing down a hotel corridor instead of just knocking? Just one simple motion of rapping her knuckles against the solid wood of the door. Sounded easy enough, didn’t it? Yes. She would do that.
Buffy walked up to the door of the room she knew her mother was staying in and took a deep breath before slowly exhaling. It didn’t help her frazzled nerves at all. What would she say? What if there was just awkward silence? Knowing how to talk to her mother seemed out of a different reality. Something distant and foreign and she wracked her brain for what she would say.
Hello, Mom, it’s me. Buffy. Your daughter? The one you shipped off to a different country and didn’t care to hear from for more than two years? Yeah, so happy to see yo-
The door in front of her swung open.
Buffy’s mind drew a complete blank the second she came face to face with her mother. And, even though she was bitter and angry, she couldn’t help but want to be wrapped in her arms. She hated herself for being weak like that.
“Buffy.” Her mother broke the silence, and Buffy fumbled to say something, but her throat was too dry. “I heard someone muttering out here and I looked through the peephole and… there you were. I waited for you to knock, but… well…”
“Um… yes, I... I was going to, but… I didn’t know what to say, I guess.”
Joyce stepped away from the door and waved her in. It all seemed like a strange dream, and Buffy expected to wake up any minute as she followed her mother into the impersonal hotel room. It felt fitting, somehow.
“How did you find me? How did you know I lived at Giles’ place…. You know, when you called me…” Buffy sat in the chair while her mother perched on the bed opposite her.
“A friend of mine helped me look up the address and I just… I had to see you, honey.”
She was staring at her so earnestly now. As though she wasn’t the one that left her. As though the barrier between them was just a figment of Buffy’s imagination. And why did she feel like her mother was purposely avoiding the question? How could she possibly find out she lived with Giles?
“Why now?” Buffy asked instead.
Joyce dropped her gaze, and Buffy felt a pang of guilt at sounding co curt, but the bitterness was on the rise, burning the back of her throat.
“I left Ted,” she replied as though it resolved everything. All the times she let him abuse her daughter, all the times Buffy pleaded with her mother to listen to her, to stand up and defend them both.
'Yeah, fucking good for you, Mom.'
Buffy tried to bite back the anger wrapping around her heart. “What do you expect me to say?”
“Sweetheart, I-”
“Do not call me that. Almost three years, Mom. Three! You didn’t care what happened to me, you didn’t even-”
“Of course I cared, Buffy.”
“Could have fooled me. And I’m certain sending me away was a show of goodwill and love too, wasn’t it?”
The rage simmered, all those feelings she’d suppressed, the memories, all of it came rushing out like a puss out of infected wound. She was beyond feeling compassionate at the sight of her mother’s teary eyes.
“I was trying to protect you!”
“Protect me?” Buffy laughed. “No, you weren’t. You were too weak to leave him and you didn’t care. I told you how he hit me and you did nothing! You just looked away, pretended it wasn’t happening. If you wanted to protect me, we would have left. Together.”
“We didn’t have money. Ted took everything I had.”
“I would have helped you! I could have found a part-time job and sure, it would have been tough for a while but we would have—Do you have any idea what it did to me, seeing him treat you like that?”
Joyce buried her face in her hands, and Buffy’s lips thinned into a line.
“I’m sorry,” her mother whispered. “I’m so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would.” She lifted her face to level Buffy with a pleading gaze. “I deserve this. I was a bad mother to you and I’ll always regret that, but… I want to change. I’m here for you now.”
The wooden handles of the chair creaked in protest and Buffy relaxed her hold. “I needed you then, Mom. You can’t imagine the things I’ve been through.”
“So tell me.”
“You wouldn’t understand. And I can’t tell you. This is just too much and I need to… I need some space to think about this.”
Buffy rose from the chair and Joyce followed her motion. The few feet distance between them could have been a vast crater for all the secrets and differences that hung in the air.
“Will I see you again? I hate that you’re leaving so upset. I thought we would-”
“What? Fall into each other’s arms? Happily reminisce? I don’t think it works like that in our case. We need to figure this all out and talk, but I can’t do this right now.”
Joyce approached her. “Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”
“I forgave you a long time ago, Mom. But I’ll never forget.”
Her mother nodded shortly and glanced away. “I’ll be here… whenever you want to talk.”
Buffy struggled with herself then swallowed heavily and stepped closer to kiss her mother on the cheek. She drew Buffy into a quick hug then released her with a shaky smile. “I’m glad you decided to come.”
“See you, Mom,” she said and left.
*******
Her feet automatically took her on familiar routes, and she found herself standing in the cemetery shrouded by the shadows. The stake was a trustworthy pressure behind her waistband and she drew it out, channeling all the turmoil that the reunion stirred into hunting.
She closed her eyes and just listened.
A ruffle of leaves, the distant sound of traffic, but nothing out of the ordinary. She walked deeper into the biggest cemetery in town when the birds flew out of a tree somewhere in the distance. Muscles tensing, Buffy ran in that direction, stake at a ready.
Muffled voices and sounds of battle reached her ears but as soon as she caught the sight in front of her, she halted. The hand holding the stake fell to her side as she simply watched.
It was Spike.
And he was so hot she wanted to tackle him right there and then.
“Got enough?” Spike asked, goading his opponent with a wide grin. He wiggled his fingers in challenge and easily sidestepped the other vampire’s clumsy attack.
The other vampire snarled, turned around and swung a fist at Spike’s face. With a smug look, Spike caught his hand and deftly twisted it, the crack of vampire’s broken wrist carrying to Buffy’s ears.
“Come on, give us a good fight, mate. Because this is becoming a bit pathetic.”
Before the vampire could reply, Spike punched him in the face three times in rapid succession before kicking him in the chest and sending him flying several feet through the air.. The fallen vampire tried to rise but Spike was on him in a flash, his hands grasping the vampire’s head and tearing it clean off.
The vampire exploded into dust, right in front of Spike’s grinning face.
“Ever heard of a stake?” Buffy made her presence known as he stood up.
Spike spun around to face her, his lips forming adorable ‘o’.
“Buffy.”
“Yup, that’s me.”
“I was just…”
“Doing my job?” she asked with a smile.
“Something like that, yeah. Just couldn’t stay at the flat anymore, was going stir crazy so I had to go out for a bit. Went looking for you actually. Thought you might be doing one of your rounds by now.”
“Are you alright? Are you… better?”
He walked over to her and tucked his hands into the pockets of his duster. “Yeah, I think so. ‘S even better now that you’re here.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” She reached out and brushed a stray curl away from his forehead. “I love the way you fight.”
“You do, huh? He was no challenge though. One time I fought this Skala demon… now, that bugger was bloody big. It was like hitting a brick wall.”
“We should definitely spar sometimes. See who’ll end up on top.”
He slowly raked his eyes all over her, leaving her skin tingling in the wake.
“I don’t mind if you want to be on top. Just say the word, kitten.”
Then he slowly caressed the lapel of her jacket and she swayed on her feet. How did he always manage to make her speechless with one simple gesture? To make her burn with one look?
Buffy met his dark eyes and before she could comprehend what happened, he was pressing her against the nearest tree trunk, his soft lips falling on hers.
“Mmmm,” she purred into his mouth and locked her arms around his neck as he glided his lips across hers.
His fingers unclenched from her forearms and slipped to her hips as he pressed his thigh between her legs. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he started to sensuously rub against her, one of his hands lifting her leg and draping it over his hip.
“Buffy,” he said, nibbling on her bottom lip before sweeping in to slide the tip of his tongue between her lips.
She clutched at his hair, desperately pressing against his strong thigh as he rocked against her. If he kept it up, she wouldn’t have another option but to have him right in the middle of a cemetery. He probably wouldn’t mind, considering the hardness pressing into her belly.
“Want you,” she said, gasping for air as he shifted to lightly bite and lick her earlobe before amorously sucking at her neck.
Spike squeezed her backside. “Why didn’t you wear a skirt?”
“Unh… what?”
How could he even form sentences when her brain had been already turned to mush? Not fair.
“Skirt, luv,” he said with a smirk, never stopping his motion. “Could have shagged you right against this tree, right now. Just brush aside those frilly little knickers I know you like to wear and take you.”
“Oh my God.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Uh huh.” Why did she wear the stupid jeans again?
He played with the button on her jeans, making her shiver and hungrily follow his movements.
“Bloody… damn it.”
She furrowed her brow as he lifted her up and rounded the tree just as she heard a couple of voices. She peeked around to notice a boy and a girl making their way towards a nearby mausoleum. From the way they darted glances around them, it was probably some misguided show of bravado and the boy wanted to show off. Why did they have to choose being stupid now?
She lifted her eyes to look at Spike. Making out in a public place maybe wasn’t the best idea after all. But who could blame her, really? She was kind of tempted to say to hell with it and let him do whatever he wanted anyway. People present or not.
“Maybe we should take this elsewhere,” she finally said with a sigh.
Spike dropped his forehead against her shoulder and briefly squeezed her hips before stepping away and enveloping her hand in his. “My place?”
She nodded. “No witnesses. But shouldn’t we at least tell those kids to not roam cemeteries after sun’s gone down?”
“And tell them what exactly? That something might eat them?”
Buffy shrugged but didn’t move from her spot. “You could do those vampy noises. Scare them off.”
With a wry smile, Spike emitted a loud growl. The teenagers stared warily around and Spike repeated the sound, a little louder. Looking at each other and talking in hushed voices, the girl shook her head and hurried away, the boy hot on her heels.
“Satisfied?”
“Very much so. You’re the bestest!”
Together they strolled out the cemetery and suddenly Spike stopped in his tracks and stared at her. “I forgot.”
“What?”
“Your mum… is she there? At the Watcher’s apartment?”
“Umm… no. She’s staying at hotel.”
Spike glanced at her from the corner of his eye as they resumed their stride. “Have you seen her yet?”
“Yeah…”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t know. It was just… weird, you know? I was so angry, but I couldn’t help it. She just expects me to welcome her back like nothing bad ever happened between us. I want her to hurt as much as she made me, but at the same time…”
“You can’t help but forgive her?”
“Yes. Sucks to be me, I guess.”
“You should introduce me. I could flash a fang.”
Buffy smiled up at him. “I don’t think that would earn you many parental points.”
“No, but it would earn me Buffy points, so I’d deal.”
“You’re so sweet.”
“Aren’t I?” he said smugly. “Devilishly handsome too.”
“Oh yeah.”
“So… how about wearing a skirt next time?”
TBC
Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Beautiful banner by xaphania
Chapter 45
This was starting to get ridiculous. Really. What was the point of pacing down a hotel corridor instead of just knocking? Just one simple motion of rapping her knuckles against the solid wood of the door. Sounded easy enough, didn’t it? Yes. She would do that.
Buffy walked up to the door of the room she knew her mother was staying in and took a deep breath before slowly exhaling. It didn’t help her frazzled nerves at all. What would she say? What if there was just awkward silence? Knowing how to talk to her mother seemed out of a different reality. Something distant and foreign and she wracked her brain for what she would say.
Hello, Mom, it’s me. Buffy. Your daughter? The one you shipped off to a different country and didn’t care to hear from for more than two years? Yeah, so happy to see yo-
The door in front of her swung open.
Buffy’s mind drew a complete blank the second she came face to face with her mother. And, even though she was bitter and angry, she couldn’t help but want to be wrapped in her arms. She hated herself for being weak like that.
“Buffy.” Her mother broke the silence, and Buffy fumbled to say something, but her throat was too dry. “I heard someone muttering out here and I looked through the peephole and… there you were. I waited for you to knock, but… well…”
“Um… yes, I... I was going to, but… I didn’t know what to say, I guess.”
Joyce stepped away from the door and waved her in. It all seemed like a strange dream, and Buffy expected to wake up any minute as she followed her mother into the impersonal hotel room. It felt fitting, somehow.
“How did you find me? How did you know I lived at Giles’ place…. You know, when you called me…” Buffy sat in the chair while her mother perched on the bed opposite her.
“A friend of mine helped me look up the address and I just… I had to see you, honey.”
She was staring at her so earnestly now. As though she wasn’t the one that left her. As though the barrier between them was just a figment of Buffy’s imagination. And why did she feel like her mother was purposely avoiding the question? How could she possibly find out she lived with Giles?
“Why now?” Buffy asked instead.
Joyce dropped her gaze, and Buffy felt a pang of guilt at sounding co curt, but the bitterness was on the rise, burning the back of her throat.
“I left Ted,” she replied as though it resolved everything. All the times she let him abuse her daughter, all the times Buffy pleaded with her mother to listen to her, to stand up and defend them both.
'Yeah, fucking good for you, Mom.'
Buffy tried to bite back the anger wrapping around her heart. “What do you expect me to say?”
“Sweetheart, I-”
“Do not call me that. Almost three years, Mom. Three! You didn’t care what happened to me, you didn’t even-”
“Of course I cared, Buffy.”
“Could have fooled me. And I’m certain sending me away was a show of goodwill and love too, wasn’t it?”
The rage simmered, all those feelings she’d suppressed, the memories, all of it came rushing out like a puss out of infected wound. She was beyond feeling compassionate at the sight of her mother’s teary eyes.
“I was trying to protect you!”
“Protect me?” Buffy laughed. “No, you weren’t. You were too weak to leave him and you didn’t care. I told you how he hit me and you did nothing! You just looked away, pretended it wasn’t happening. If you wanted to protect me, we would have left. Together.”
“We didn’t have money. Ted took everything I had.”
“I would have helped you! I could have found a part-time job and sure, it would have been tough for a while but we would have—Do you have any idea what it did to me, seeing him treat you like that?”
Joyce buried her face in her hands, and Buffy’s lips thinned into a line.
“I’m sorry,” her mother whispered. “I’m so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would.” She lifted her face to level Buffy with a pleading gaze. “I deserve this. I was a bad mother to you and I’ll always regret that, but… I want to change. I’m here for you now.”
The wooden handles of the chair creaked in protest and Buffy relaxed her hold. “I needed you then, Mom. You can’t imagine the things I’ve been through.”
“So tell me.”
“You wouldn’t understand. And I can’t tell you. This is just too much and I need to… I need some space to think about this.”
Buffy rose from the chair and Joyce followed her motion. The few feet distance between them could have been a vast crater for all the secrets and differences that hung in the air.
“Will I see you again? I hate that you’re leaving so upset. I thought we would-”
“What? Fall into each other’s arms? Happily reminisce? I don’t think it works like that in our case. We need to figure this all out and talk, but I can’t do this right now.”
Joyce approached her. “Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”
“I forgave you a long time ago, Mom. But I’ll never forget.”
Her mother nodded shortly and glanced away. “I’ll be here… whenever you want to talk.”
Buffy struggled with herself then swallowed heavily and stepped closer to kiss her mother on the cheek. She drew Buffy into a quick hug then released her with a shaky smile. “I’m glad you decided to come.”
“See you, Mom,” she said and left.
*******
Her feet automatically took her on familiar routes, and she found herself standing in the cemetery shrouded by the shadows. The stake was a trustworthy pressure behind her waistband and she drew it out, channeling all the turmoil that the reunion stirred into hunting.
She closed her eyes and just listened.
A ruffle of leaves, the distant sound of traffic, but nothing out of the ordinary. She walked deeper into the biggest cemetery in town when the birds flew out of a tree somewhere in the distance. Muscles tensing, Buffy ran in that direction, stake at a ready.
Muffled voices and sounds of battle reached her ears but as soon as she caught the sight in front of her, she halted. The hand holding the stake fell to her side as she simply watched.
It was Spike.
And he was so hot she wanted to tackle him right there and then.
“Got enough?” Spike asked, goading his opponent with a wide grin. He wiggled his fingers in challenge and easily sidestepped the other vampire’s clumsy attack.
The other vampire snarled, turned around and swung a fist at Spike’s face. With a smug look, Spike caught his hand and deftly twisted it, the crack of vampire’s broken wrist carrying to Buffy’s ears.
“Come on, give us a good fight, mate. Because this is becoming a bit pathetic.”
Before the vampire could reply, Spike punched him in the face three times in rapid succession before kicking him in the chest and sending him flying several feet through the air.. The fallen vampire tried to rise but Spike was on him in a flash, his hands grasping the vampire’s head and tearing it clean off.
The vampire exploded into dust, right in front of Spike’s grinning face.
“Ever heard of a stake?” Buffy made her presence known as he stood up.
Spike spun around to face her, his lips forming adorable ‘o’.
“Buffy.”
“Yup, that’s me.”
“I was just…”
“Doing my job?” she asked with a smile.
“Something like that, yeah. Just couldn’t stay at the flat anymore, was going stir crazy so I had to go out for a bit. Went looking for you actually. Thought you might be doing one of your rounds by now.”
“Are you alright? Are you… better?”
He walked over to her and tucked his hands into the pockets of his duster. “Yeah, I think so. ‘S even better now that you’re here.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” She reached out and brushed a stray curl away from his forehead. “I love the way you fight.”
“You do, huh? He was no challenge though. One time I fought this Skala demon… now, that bugger was bloody big. It was like hitting a brick wall.”
“We should definitely spar sometimes. See who’ll end up on top.”
He slowly raked his eyes all over her, leaving her skin tingling in the wake.
“I don’t mind if you want to be on top. Just say the word, kitten.”
Then he slowly caressed the lapel of her jacket and she swayed on her feet. How did he always manage to make her speechless with one simple gesture? To make her burn with one look?
Buffy met his dark eyes and before she could comprehend what happened, he was pressing her against the nearest tree trunk, his soft lips falling on hers.
“Mmmm,” she purred into his mouth and locked her arms around his neck as he glided his lips across hers.
His fingers unclenched from her forearms and slipped to her hips as he pressed his thigh between her legs. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he started to sensuously rub against her, one of his hands lifting her leg and draping it over his hip.
“Buffy,” he said, nibbling on her bottom lip before sweeping in to slide the tip of his tongue between her lips.
She clutched at his hair, desperately pressing against his strong thigh as he rocked against her. If he kept it up, she wouldn’t have another option but to have him right in the middle of a cemetery. He probably wouldn’t mind, considering the hardness pressing into her belly.
“Want you,” she said, gasping for air as he shifted to lightly bite and lick her earlobe before amorously sucking at her neck.
Spike squeezed her backside. “Why didn’t you wear a skirt?”
“Unh… what?”
How could he even form sentences when her brain had been already turned to mush? Not fair.
“Skirt, luv,” he said with a smirk, never stopping his motion. “Could have shagged you right against this tree, right now. Just brush aside those frilly little knickers I know you like to wear and take you.”
“Oh my God.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Uh huh.” Why did she wear the stupid jeans again?
He played with the button on her jeans, making her shiver and hungrily follow his movements.
“Bloody… damn it.”
She furrowed her brow as he lifted her up and rounded the tree just as she heard a couple of voices. She peeked around to notice a boy and a girl making their way towards a nearby mausoleum. From the way they darted glances around them, it was probably some misguided show of bravado and the boy wanted to show off. Why did they have to choose being stupid now?
She lifted her eyes to look at Spike. Making out in a public place maybe wasn’t the best idea after all. But who could blame her, really? She was kind of tempted to say to hell with it and let him do whatever he wanted anyway. People present or not.
“Maybe we should take this elsewhere,” she finally said with a sigh.
Spike dropped his forehead against her shoulder and briefly squeezed her hips before stepping away and enveloping her hand in his. “My place?”
She nodded. “No witnesses. But shouldn’t we at least tell those kids to not roam cemeteries after sun’s gone down?”
“And tell them what exactly? That something might eat them?”
Buffy shrugged but didn’t move from her spot. “You could do those vampy noises. Scare them off.”
With a wry smile, Spike emitted a loud growl. The teenagers stared warily around and Spike repeated the sound, a little louder. Looking at each other and talking in hushed voices, the girl shook her head and hurried away, the boy hot on her heels.
“Satisfied?”
“Very much so. You’re the bestest!”
Together they strolled out the cemetery and suddenly Spike stopped in his tracks and stared at her. “I forgot.”
“What?”
“Your mum… is she there? At the Watcher’s apartment?”
“Umm… no. She’s staying at hotel.”
Spike glanced at her from the corner of his eye as they resumed their stride. “Have you seen her yet?”
“Yeah…”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t know. It was just… weird, you know? I was so angry, but I couldn’t help it. She just expects me to welcome her back like nothing bad ever happened between us. I want her to hurt as much as she made me, but at the same time…”
“You can’t help but forgive her?”
“Yes. Sucks to be me, I guess.”
“You should introduce me. I could flash a fang.”
Buffy smiled up at him. “I don’t think that would earn you many parental points.”
“No, but it would earn me Buffy points, so I’d deal.”
“You’re so sweet.”
“Aren’t I?” he said smugly. “Devilishly handsome too.”
“Oh yeah.”
“So… how about wearing a skirt next time?”
TBC
Chapter forty-six
A/N: Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Love you from the bottom of my evil heart, kind readers.
Chapter 46
The next morning, Buffy walked into the living room and stopped short, her eyes widening.
“Okay, someone want to tell me what’s going on here?”
Faith glanced up from where Giles was… giving her an insulin shot? Wait, Faith didn’t suffer from diabetes. Did she?
“Hey, B. Our favourite Watcher here is just taking a blood sample.”
Ah, right. No diabetes then. Also, luckily, nobody was asking her where she’d been all night.
Buffy closed the door behind her and shuffled closer. Needles were so not her thing, and she winced when Giles pulled it out of Faith’s arm, the small vial half full. “Umm… why? Wait… you’re not to going to take mine too, right? Right?”
“Chill out, girlfriend. Giles is just trying to figure out… why did you want it again?”
He rose to his feet and put the vial carefully into his briefcase before soaking a bit of cotton with alcohol and pressing it against the puncture mark on Faith’s arm. “Maybe it’ll help us figure out why you’re a slayer. Since Buffy has not died… er… obviously… this development is quite puzzling to me.”
“You’re looking at horse’s teeth,” Buffy said then scrunched up her nose. “Is that how they say it?”
“It’s a gift horse, Buffy, and I think it’s better to get to the root of this. There are no prophecies that I know of, so it has got something to do with the coma. I’m sending the blood to the witches in the coven. Maybe they’ll find something out.”
“Well, maybe there is a prophecy but you don’t know about it,” Buffy pointed out.
Giles just arched his brow. “I don’t believe that’s the case.”
“Someone’s arrogant,” Buffy muttered.
“Sorry?”
“Nothing! So… Faith, want to go patrolling together tonight?”
“Yeah. We’ll kick some demon ass. Sure beats Giles here poking me.”
Buffy stared at her in horror while Giles glanced between them in confusion. Faith just shrugged. “Guess that came out wrong?”
*******
Buffy reached into her pocket to pull out a key and used it to unlock the door to Spike’s apartment. It felt strange to just walk in though. What if she dropped in at the wrong time?
“Spike?”
Silence.
She closed the door behind her and kicked off her shoes as she walked further into the apartment. Still no sign of Spike. Then she heard it. Water was running in the bathroom so she’d just knock to let him know she was there.
*******
Spike leaned his hands against the cold tiles and closed his eyes against the downpour of hot water.
“You didn’t save me. Why didn’t you save me?” asked a mirage of a little girl sitting beside the tub. The one Drusilla had lured into her deadly embrace before tearing out her throat.
“You’re not here,” he muttered.
“We’re here because of your regret,” said another.
He could still recall the taste of her blood on the night he’d plunged into damnation, succumbed to the urges within. The first taste, the turning point. Because she hadn’t been Buffy.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why did you do it, William? What did we ever do to you?”
Spike opened his eyes and dared a sideways glance then wished he hadn’t. The bathroom was full of them. Filled to the brim. No space to breathe, to move, to pretend. They were all talking at him now, their angry voices overlapping. He sank down, hiding his face, hugging his legs to his chest as he tried to tune them out with his hands covering his ears.
Someone touched him on the shoulder and he just about jumped out of his skin, thinking that the figments of his conscience had somehow managed to get corporeal. But no. He knew this scent. Love and light and sweetness.
Buffy.
He lifted his head and met her concerned gaze then peered behind her. The mirages were gone. With her around, the world fell away. How ironic for the Slayer to be a vampire’s saviour from his own crimes?
“Spike, what happened? I was calling your name but you didn’t answer, and I got scared you slipped, cracked your head against the tub and was bleeding on the floor or something.”
She ran a hand through his damp curls, unmindful of his nudity.
“Sorry, didn’t hear you.”
Something like shame prickled his skin at being found like this. Weak and vulnerable, everything his demon raged against. But it was Buffy and she’d seen him at his worst already. And she was stripping right in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t really find it in himself to care.
The clothes hit the ground. She plugged the drain and switched the shower to taps to let the warm water fill the tub before slipping behind him. They communicated without words and Buffy scooted back as he leaned against her front. Nothing could bring him such peace as being in her arms.
“You okay?” she asked as she slowly stroked his hair.
His eyes were already half closed as he nodded, lazily caressing her leg. “Glad you stopped by.”
“Was it the ghosts again? I thought they were gone.”
“They come and go. Always blaming me though. And with good reason.”
“Spike, you need to forgive yourself.”
He tensed, his fingers stilling on her raised knee. “I don’t think I can. And no matter how many times I tell myself it won’t change what happened, I can’t help but regret it.”
“What you did wasn’t right, we both know that, but you went and sought out your soul to be a better man. This shouldn’t be a punishment. It’s a reward. I think the ghosts are all in your mind.”
“I know, but it’s not easy. I feel like I need to pay for what I’ve done.”
She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I think you paid enough, don’t you? It won’t bring them back. Please, try and forgive yourself. That’s all I ask.”
“I’ll try… for you.”
Water sloshed lazily around them as Spike burrowed into her embrace, both of them immersed in each other’s presence.
“Spike, have you ever thought of biting me?”
“What?” he said and she thought he sounded a bit offended at her question. “You’re not a pin cushion, Buffy.”
She sighed in frustration. “I know that. But I read this book on vampires and there was this… did you know vampires could form a bond? A blood bond?”
He sat up and twisted around to face her. “Come again?”
Suddenly she felt very conscious of the way he was staring at her. As though she’d lost her mind.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I’m a Watcher guy. I just found this book in Giles’ study. It had ‘vampire customs’ written on the spine, and I thought… I don’t know. Guess I wanted to learn, to understand more about you.”
Spike smiled crookedly. “Means you probably know a lot more about me than I do.”
“Huh?”
“I haven’t been a vampire all that long, and neither Darla nor Dru ever taught me anything beside… never mind.”
She tried to ignore the flare of jealousy. She really did. “Beside what?”
“Buffy… I’d rather not-”
“Beside what?” she insisted.
The muscle in his jaw ticked. “It’s not sex if that’s what you think. I mean yeah, that too, but I was thinking more of killing the innocent. How to hurt people enough to…”
His eyes darkened with distance and she wanted to slap herself for being the one to force him to say it out loud.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“Let’s just leave it, yeah?” He caressed the side of her cheek and drew her into his embrace. She leaned her cheek against his.
“So, tell me. About what you read?” he asked after a while.
“Spike…”
“Buffy, please let’s not talk about it. I’m not mad at you, so you can stop pouting and feeling all guilty.”
“How do you know that? You don’t even see my face right now.”
“You’re really not that hard to read for me, luv. I know your every expression by now even from the sound of your voice.”
“That’s cheating.” She tightened her legs around his waist and played with the little hair on the back of his neck. She knew he liked that. “There was this part about vampires forming links with another vampire or supernatural beings. They were all kinds of bonds.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Like controlling ones, ones between Sire and his Childe or… a romantic one.”
“Romantic link between two vampires? I find that hard to believe.”
“They didn’t exactly say ‘romantic’, but I thought it was… it was all about proclaiming you belong to the other.”
“Looks like you researched a lot.”
She squirmed in his lap and leaned back to look him in the eye. “Do you mind?”
“Do you even have to ask?”
His eyes turned molten before he leaned in and kissed her. Hungrily and possessively. She pressed herself closer to him, shivering from the sensations his fingers slipping across her skin evoked.
“Do you know what’s good about being a vampire?” he whispered roughly against her lips and she shook her head. “We don’t need to breathe.”
With that, he pressed her against the tub’s rim and dived under the water. All she could do was gasp before her eyes rolled back in rapture.
*******
She and Faith walked down the poorly lit street a week later. A week of her and Spike dancing around the subject of blood bonds. A week of her and Joyce trying to reconnect. All said and done, it had been long seven days.
“Would you focus?” Faith poked her in the arm.
“Ow, that hurt!”
“Did you even hear a word of what I said for the last ten minutes?”
“Of course… there was something about… uhh… okay, so I might have zoned out a little.”
“Seriously, where’s your head?”
“On my shoulders? See? Fully functional.” Buffy beamed.
“Somehow I doubt that.”
“Hey!”
“So how are things going between you and your mom? Still awkward?”
Her shoulders dropped. “Kinda. We kind of went to a lunch, as you know. Five times. It was pretty weird, but at least there was no yelling or tears the last time. Why are you asking anyway?”
“Just friendly concern.”
“Oh,” Buffy said then frowned. “I think she’s hiding something from me.”
“You mean, like you are from her?”
Buffy sent her a mock glare. “It’s not like she’d believe me. Hey, Mom, by the way, I’m a Vampire Slayer and I thought the man I loved had been killed in a demonic ritual, but he was just turned into a vamp instead. So, what’s new in your life?”
Faith chuckled. “Okay, I get it. But still… maybe you should at least tell her you have a boyfriend.”
“I did, actually. I was kind of tempted to say he used to be a drug addict just to freak her out, but I don’t think Spike would appreciate that.”
“Oh, shit!”
“I didn’t tell her that, honestly Faith-”
“No. I left the fucking paper with the address on it back home.”
Giles had sent them on a mission to retrieve some very important books from an old colleague of his that was staying in town for a day. Christopher something or other.
“Well, don’t you remember it?”
“Do you?” Faith asked, annoyed.
“No.” Buffy let out a sigh. “Does this mean we have to go back?”
“Unless you have a better plan. The books are the reason we’re out and about in the first place.”
“Damn. I knew you’d say that.”
Faith slung her arm across Buffy’s shoulders. “Woman up, Buff.”
*******
Soon they were walking down the pathway to the house and Buffy waited for Faith to fish out the keys. The lights were on which meant Giles was up and about, probably waiting for them to come back. Funny, he’d said he’d go to the bed early.
Faith unlocked the door, and Buffy followed after only to bump into Faith’s back when she suddenly stopped walking.
“What’s up?” Buffy nudged her to the side and her own jaw dropped when she noticed the scene Faith was so avidly staring at.
“Uh… Are we interrupting something?” Buffy asked at the sight of her father figure shirtless.
“Bloody hell,” Giles cried and jumped away from the woman he’d been making out with. Even thinking that made Buffy want to scrub her brain to get rid of the visual. Giles and making out were so not two things that should go in the same sentence. Ever.
Only as Giles bent down to fetch his shirt did she notice the woman in question. Black dots appeared before her vision and fainting suddenly looked very appealing. If it weren’t for Faith supporting her, she would have dropped like a sack of potatoes.
“What the hell is going on here? Giles!” She leveled the woman with a shocked gaze when she recovered a bit. “Mom!”
TBC
Love you from the bottom of my evil heart, kind readers.
Chapter 46
The next morning, Buffy walked into the living room and stopped short, her eyes widening.
“Okay, someone want to tell me what’s going on here?”
Faith glanced up from where Giles was… giving her an insulin shot? Wait, Faith didn’t suffer from diabetes. Did she?
“Hey, B. Our favourite Watcher here is just taking a blood sample.”
Ah, right. No diabetes then. Also, luckily, nobody was asking her where she’d been all night.
Buffy closed the door behind her and shuffled closer. Needles were so not her thing, and she winced when Giles pulled it out of Faith’s arm, the small vial half full. “Umm… why? Wait… you’re not to going to take mine too, right? Right?”
“Chill out, girlfriend. Giles is just trying to figure out… why did you want it again?”
He rose to his feet and put the vial carefully into his briefcase before soaking a bit of cotton with alcohol and pressing it against the puncture mark on Faith’s arm. “Maybe it’ll help us figure out why you’re a slayer. Since Buffy has not died… er… obviously… this development is quite puzzling to me.”
“You’re looking at horse’s teeth,” Buffy said then scrunched up her nose. “Is that how they say it?”
“It’s a gift horse, Buffy, and I think it’s better to get to the root of this. There are no prophecies that I know of, so it has got something to do with the coma. I’m sending the blood to the witches in the coven. Maybe they’ll find something out.”
“Well, maybe there is a prophecy but you don’t know about it,” Buffy pointed out.
Giles just arched his brow. “I don’t believe that’s the case.”
“Someone’s arrogant,” Buffy muttered.
“Sorry?”
“Nothing! So… Faith, want to go patrolling together tonight?”
“Yeah. We’ll kick some demon ass. Sure beats Giles here poking me.”
Buffy stared at her in horror while Giles glanced between them in confusion. Faith just shrugged. “Guess that came out wrong?”
*******
Buffy reached into her pocket to pull out a key and used it to unlock the door to Spike’s apartment. It felt strange to just walk in though. What if she dropped in at the wrong time?
“Spike?”
Silence.
She closed the door behind her and kicked off her shoes as she walked further into the apartment. Still no sign of Spike. Then she heard it. Water was running in the bathroom so she’d just knock to let him know she was there.
*******
Spike leaned his hands against the cold tiles and closed his eyes against the downpour of hot water.
“You didn’t save me. Why didn’t you save me?” asked a mirage of a little girl sitting beside the tub. The one Drusilla had lured into her deadly embrace before tearing out her throat.
“You’re not here,” he muttered.
“We’re here because of your regret,” said another.
He could still recall the taste of her blood on the night he’d plunged into damnation, succumbed to the urges within. The first taste, the turning point. Because she hadn’t been Buffy.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why did you do it, William? What did we ever do to you?”
Spike opened his eyes and dared a sideways glance then wished he hadn’t. The bathroom was full of them. Filled to the brim. No space to breathe, to move, to pretend. They were all talking at him now, their angry voices overlapping. He sank down, hiding his face, hugging his legs to his chest as he tried to tune them out with his hands covering his ears.
Someone touched him on the shoulder and he just about jumped out of his skin, thinking that the figments of his conscience had somehow managed to get corporeal. But no. He knew this scent. Love and light and sweetness.
Buffy.
He lifted his head and met her concerned gaze then peered behind her. The mirages were gone. With her around, the world fell away. How ironic for the Slayer to be a vampire’s saviour from his own crimes?
“Spike, what happened? I was calling your name but you didn’t answer, and I got scared you slipped, cracked your head against the tub and was bleeding on the floor or something.”
She ran a hand through his damp curls, unmindful of his nudity.
“Sorry, didn’t hear you.”
Something like shame prickled his skin at being found like this. Weak and vulnerable, everything his demon raged against. But it was Buffy and she’d seen him at his worst already. And she was stripping right in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t really find it in himself to care.
The clothes hit the ground. She plugged the drain and switched the shower to taps to let the warm water fill the tub before slipping behind him. They communicated without words and Buffy scooted back as he leaned against her front. Nothing could bring him such peace as being in her arms.
“You okay?” she asked as she slowly stroked his hair.
His eyes were already half closed as he nodded, lazily caressing her leg. “Glad you stopped by.”
“Was it the ghosts again? I thought they were gone.”
“They come and go. Always blaming me though. And with good reason.”
“Spike, you need to forgive yourself.”
He tensed, his fingers stilling on her raised knee. “I don’t think I can. And no matter how many times I tell myself it won’t change what happened, I can’t help but regret it.”
“What you did wasn’t right, we both know that, but you went and sought out your soul to be a better man. This shouldn’t be a punishment. It’s a reward. I think the ghosts are all in your mind.”
“I know, but it’s not easy. I feel like I need to pay for what I’ve done.”
She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I think you paid enough, don’t you? It won’t bring them back. Please, try and forgive yourself. That’s all I ask.”
“I’ll try… for you.”
Water sloshed lazily around them as Spike burrowed into her embrace, both of them immersed in each other’s presence.
“Spike, have you ever thought of biting me?”
“What?” he said and she thought he sounded a bit offended at her question. “You’re not a pin cushion, Buffy.”
She sighed in frustration. “I know that. But I read this book on vampires and there was this… did you know vampires could form a bond? A blood bond?”
He sat up and twisted around to face her. “Come again?”
Suddenly she felt very conscious of the way he was staring at her. As though she’d lost her mind.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I’m a Watcher guy. I just found this book in Giles’ study. It had ‘vampire customs’ written on the spine, and I thought… I don’t know. Guess I wanted to learn, to understand more about you.”
Spike smiled crookedly. “Means you probably know a lot more about me than I do.”
“Huh?”
“I haven’t been a vampire all that long, and neither Darla nor Dru ever taught me anything beside… never mind.”
She tried to ignore the flare of jealousy. She really did. “Beside what?”
“Buffy… I’d rather not-”
“Beside what?” she insisted.
The muscle in his jaw ticked. “It’s not sex if that’s what you think. I mean yeah, that too, but I was thinking more of killing the innocent. How to hurt people enough to…”
His eyes darkened with distance and she wanted to slap herself for being the one to force him to say it out loud.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“Let’s just leave it, yeah?” He caressed the side of her cheek and drew her into his embrace. She leaned her cheek against his.
“So, tell me. About what you read?” he asked after a while.
“Spike…”
“Buffy, please let’s not talk about it. I’m not mad at you, so you can stop pouting and feeling all guilty.”
“How do you know that? You don’t even see my face right now.”
“You’re really not that hard to read for me, luv. I know your every expression by now even from the sound of your voice.”
“That’s cheating.” She tightened her legs around his waist and played with the little hair on the back of his neck. She knew he liked that. “There was this part about vampires forming links with another vampire or supernatural beings. They were all kinds of bonds.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Like controlling ones, ones between Sire and his Childe or… a romantic one.”
“Romantic link between two vampires? I find that hard to believe.”
“They didn’t exactly say ‘romantic’, but I thought it was… it was all about proclaiming you belong to the other.”
“Looks like you researched a lot.”
She squirmed in his lap and leaned back to look him in the eye. “Do you mind?”
“Do you even have to ask?”
His eyes turned molten before he leaned in and kissed her. Hungrily and possessively. She pressed herself closer to him, shivering from the sensations his fingers slipping across her skin evoked.
“Do you know what’s good about being a vampire?” he whispered roughly against her lips and she shook her head. “We don’t need to breathe.”
With that, he pressed her against the tub’s rim and dived under the water. All she could do was gasp before her eyes rolled back in rapture.
*******
She and Faith walked down the poorly lit street a week later. A week of her and Spike dancing around the subject of blood bonds. A week of her and Joyce trying to reconnect. All said and done, it had been long seven days.
“Would you focus?” Faith poked her in the arm.
“Ow, that hurt!”
“Did you even hear a word of what I said for the last ten minutes?”
“Of course… there was something about… uhh… okay, so I might have zoned out a little.”
“Seriously, where’s your head?”
“On my shoulders? See? Fully functional.” Buffy beamed.
“Somehow I doubt that.”
“Hey!”
“So how are things going between you and your mom? Still awkward?”
Her shoulders dropped. “Kinda. We kind of went to a lunch, as you know. Five times. It was pretty weird, but at least there was no yelling or tears the last time. Why are you asking anyway?”
“Just friendly concern.”
“Oh,” Buffy said then frowned. “I think she’s hiding something from me.”
“You mean, like you are from her?”
Buffy sent her a mock glare. “It’s not like she’d believe me. Hey, Mom, by the way, I’m a Vampire Slayer and I thought the man I loved had been killed in a demonic ritual, but he was just turned into a vamp instead. So, what’s new in your life?”
Faith chuckled. “Okay, I get it. But still… maybe you should at least tell her you have a boyfriend.”
“I did, actually. I was kind of tempted to say he used to be a drug addict just to freak her out, but I don’t think Spike would appreciate that.”
“Oh, shit!”
“I didn’t tell her that, honestly Faith-”
“No. I left the fucking paper with the address on it back home.”
Giles had sent them on a mission to retrieve some very important books from an old colleague of his that was staying in town for a day. Christopher something or other.
“Well, don’t you remember it?”
“Do you?” Faith asked, annoyed.
“No.” Buffy let out a sigh. “Does this mean we have to go back?”
“Unless you have a better plan. The books are the reason we’re out and about in the first place.”
“Damn. I knew you’d say that.”
Faith slung her arm across Buffy’s shoulders. “Woman up, Buff.”
*******
Soon they were walking down the pathway to the house and Buffy waited for Faith to fish out the keys. The lights were on which meant Giles was up and about, probably waiting for them to come back. Funny, he’d said he’d go to the bed early.
Faith unlocked the door, and Buffy followed after only to bump into Faith’s back when she suddenly stopped walking.
“What’s up?” Buffy nudged her to the side and her own jaw dropped when she noticed the scene Faith was so avidly staring at.
“Uh… Are we interrupting something?” Buffy asked at the sight of her father figure shirtless.
“Bloody hell,” Giles cried and jumped away from the woman he’d been making out with. Even thinking that made Buffy want to scrub her brain to get rid of the visual. Giles and making out were so not two things that should go in the same sentence. Ever.
Only as Giles bent down to fetch his shirt did she notice the woman in question. Black dots appeared before her vision and fainting suddenly looked very appealing. If it weren’t for Faith supporting her, she would have dropped like a sack of potatoes.
“What the hell is going on here? Giles!” She leveled the woman with a shocked gaze when she recovered a bit. “Mom!”
TBC
Chapter forty-seven
A/N: Beta'd by the awesome dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
Happy Halloween everyone! :D I'll post the last two chapters next week.
Beautiful banner by xaphania
Chapter 47
Joyce and Giles stammered, blushing to the roots of their hair. It would have been funny if it hadn’t scarred Buffy for life.
“Honey, this isn’t what it looks like,” Joyce said and patted the front of her wrinkled dress.
If Buffy and Faith had come minutes later, that dress would probably have been flung to the floor already. Buffy’s eyes widened in horror at the mere thought.
“So you weren’t playing tonsil hockey with Giles? This is just so… weird.”
“I have to agree with B,” Faith said.”
Buffy dropped on a nearby chair and tried to make sense of what she’d seen. How was it possible that she hadn’t noticed anything? She didn’t even think to question Giles’ cheerful mood or her mother’s constant question on Giles’ well being.
“How long?” she heard herself ask, and leveled them with a steady gaze. “How long have you two been… doing… this?”
Giles fidgeted with his glasses, avoiding her eyes. “Uh… we haven’t really... about the time your mother came to Bath. But we talked before… on the phone.”
“And not either of you thought that, geez, maybe we should tell Buffy?” She turned to her mother. “I knew you were hiding something from me. Is this how you knew I was here? Did Giles call you first?”
“It wasn’t Rupert’s fault, Buffy. He wanted to help,” Joyce said.
“So if it weren’t for him telling you where I was, you would never have called.” Okay, that hurt. A lot.
Giles finally lifted his eyes. “It wasn’t like that. Yes, I did call your mother to let her know you were here, but she had already been looking for you. But the school records had been burned. She wanted to find you.”
“And you didn’t tell me anything.”
“I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
Buffy shot to her feet and threw her arms in the air. “I’m an adult. I can handle stuff like this. You always keep secrets for my own good, but did it ever occur to you that I trusted you to tell me the truth?”
Giles ducked his head, embarrassed, and her mother approached him to land a hand on his shoulder in a show of support. “I asked him not to tell you.”
“Why?”
“I needed to take care of Ted first… had to leave him because I knew I had to sort my own life before trying to contact you. I’m trying to be a good mother. Please, Buffy, all I ask is that you try to see that.”
“I’m a Vampire Slayer,” she mumbled then repeated it louder, watching with satisfaction as her mother froze to the spot before numbly sinking down on the couch behind her.
“I hunt vampires and demons and all the things that go bump in the night. The things that aren’t supposed to be real. If you don’t believe me, ask Giles. Ask him to tell you why he found me in the first place.”
“Rupert?”
Giles scratched his cheek and glanced at Buffy in disapproval from the corner of his eye. “I-it’s true. She’s a… Buffy’s a slayer. A Chosen One. And I’m her Watcher.”
“Are you two joking?”
Faith made herself known for the first time since the whole situation started and lifted Giles’ phone in her hand. “They’re not joking. And I’m a slayer too.”
After Faith gripped the receiver and squeezed; it crumbled in her fingers.
Giles sputtered. “Was that really necessary? Now I’ll have to buy a new one.”
“My boyfriend is a vampire,” Buffy said.
“I need to sit down,” Joyce said, looking a little bit pale.
“You already are, Mom.”
“Oh.”
*******
Buffy couldn’t believe the way she’d blurted out the truth. In retrospect, it hadn’t been the most rational reaction to seeing Giles and her mother… Okay, that memory still kind of squicked her out. It would probably take her more than a week to get over that. Still, she had to admit that once she got over the initial shock, she could see they were good for each other.
They both deserved to be happy.
Even if she kind of found herself spending more and more time at Spike’s place to avoid hearing the smacking.
Buffy scrunched up her nose at the thought and glanced down at Spike who started to toss in his sleep. He’d been doing that a lot lately. If only there was a way for her to help him ease the pain.
“No… You can’t… It’s mine,” he muttered from sleep, his fists clenching around the sheets entangled around his struggling body.
“Spike, wake up.” She reached out to grasp his shoulder, gently trying to shake him awake. “Spike.”
*******
Fire surrounded him, engulfed him until all he could feel were the burning embers of pain coiling inside him. Wrapping around his soul.
He screamed and crashed to his knees, red and black merging behind his eyelids as he fought to stay conscious.
Even with his eyes closed, he could smell the presence of another being. The sulfurous stench of rotten eggs and evil as the man stepped closer.
“You’re mine, William,” he said. “I own you.”
“No, you don’t, you ugly sod.” He clenched his jaw against a new wave of pain ripping through him.
“Oh, but I do. Your soul is mine, has been ever since the ritual. All I have to do is wait. You might be immortal, but you’re not invincible, vampire. And once you’re dust, I’m going to enjoy collecting it.”
Hermes circled him and a sound of content rumbled through his chest. “I wonder… How long will it take to break it? I’m curious to see it ripped apart, piece by piece until all there is left is… an animal. Ready to do hell’s biding.”
“You can’t break me. This just a dream. Just a dream,” Spike muttered and clutched at his midsection when invisible pokers speared through him. The scent of blood hit the air as it trickled from the corner of his mouth.
“It’s a reminder, William. This is the end. This is what awaits you. It might be decades. It might be tomorrow. But in the end, you belong to me.”
“I’m not. It’s mine, I got it back and it’s mine. You can’t take it!”
“Nobody can help you now,” Hermes said in a growl. “Certainly not that little slayer of yours.”
*******
He came to suddenly, drawing in a sharp breath before letting his lids drift shut again, and rolling onto his side to burrow into Buffy’s embrace.
“Nightmare?” she asked and he nodded. “They’ve been getting worse this week. You’ve been talking from your sleep.”
“Have I?”
“Spike, do you want to talk about it? Because I think you should. I want to be able to help you, but I can’t do that if you keep everything to yourself.”
He rolled onto his back, staring at the white ceiling. “There’s nothing you can do.”
She let out a frustrated sigh and leaned over him, her long hair creating a curtain around his face. “Try me.”
His slayer must be the most stubborn woman in the world. He both loved and hated that about her. “It’s stupid, really. It’s just a nightmare.”
If it was, why did he not sound convincing. He could tell from the look on Buffy’s face that even she heard the hesitation in his voice. No way was she letting him get out of this one without explanation. Not that he knew what exactly was going on himself.
“It’s about Hermes. You remember him? The wanker from hell that drove a dagger into my gut?”
Buffy winced then sat back on her heels. “Why have you been dreaming about him? Why now?”
“Reckon it’s got to do with my shiny soul. Says it’s his, he does. That he owns it. Once I bite the dust, he won’t be shy about claiming it either.”
Her forehead creased in thought. “Are they like prophetic dreams? Like I sometimes have?”
“Don’t know. Could be.” He rubbed his stomach. “The pain felt pretty real.”
“So how are we going to get you out of this?”
“I don’t think we can. He said nobody could help me now. Not even you.”
Buffy’s eyebrow quirked. “He mentioned me?”
“Yeah.” Spike frowned. “A bit weird, isn’t it?”
“That’s plenty weird. Also, if there’s one thing all the bad guys have in common… it’s trying to convince you of something because they don’t want you to see the solution. Which is so stupid, if you ask me. It’s obvious he doesn’t want me to get involved. So that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
“You think you have the answer?” Spike shook his head. “I don’t know, luv. Sounds pretty farfetched to me.”
“No, it’s not.” She stared into distance then, thinking hard and he had to smile. She was adorable.
“Okay, so he said he owned your soul? In those words?”
“Yeah. What’s running through that gorgeous head of yours?”
“I think… I feel like I’m missing something. It’s right there on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t-” She threaded her hand through her hair and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.
“Come here.” He sat up and pulled her against him, kissing her temple. “It’s fine. We’ll figure it out. Now show me that tip of your tongue.”
She rolled her eyes at him, but quickly poked her tongue at him. It was hard to resume conversation when she was purposely teasing him like this. So he did what every self-respecting vampire would. He pushed her down to lie on the bed and covered her lips with his before nibbling on her tongue.
*******
Buffy smiled as she stood in the bathroom at Giles’ apartment, brushing her hair. She wondered if Giles and her mother even realized they were practically living together already. An extra tooth brush? Check. Her mother’s beauty products and perfume? Double check.
Her mom stayed here more often than not. Faith gruffly told Buffy that when she wasn’t around, Joyce showered Faith with overload of motherly love. She said it with a grimace, as though she wasn’t comfortable with it, but Buffy knew better.
“B, you’ve grown old!” came a voice from the doorway.
Buffy glanced at a smirking Faith. “Very funny. It’s not like you haven’t seen me yesterday.”
Faith shrugged. “It was patrolling, so it doesn’t count. You’re barely even here anymore.”
“I promise I’ll come around more often,” Buffy said and put the hairbrush on the vanity table. “I’ve just been thinking about you.”
“You have? Hope it was naughty.”
“Sure was. I was thinking of the two of us wrestling naked and covered in oil,” Buffy retorted with a grin.
Faith whistled. “Nice. But what would your boy toy say?”
“He’d probably want to tape it.”
“Then I’d want a copy of that.” Faith straightened up and her face turned more serious. “I actually wanted to tell you something. Damn you and your distracting.”
“So, what was it?” Buffy walked from the bathroom and glanced over at her shoulder to assure Faith was following her. They sat on her bed as she waited for Faith to speak.
“Right. The witchy coven called. Apparently, I am a slayer-- as we already knew.”
“Did they figure out how it happened?”
“They found a trace of magic in my blood sample. I don’t remember the potion’s name, but they said it was a healing one. If I hadn’t been a potential, it would have only woken me up from the coma. It’s used to bring out the strength, both physical and mental.”
“So it tapped into your potential and brought out your strength literally?”
“That’s what the survey says.”
“Huh. But who-”
“Who gave it to me? Hell if I know. But I owe them a big kiss on the mouth.”
“Ew. What if it was something slimy or old?”
“I’d take my chances.”
TBC
Happy Halloween everyone! :D I'll post the last two chapters next week.
Beautiful banner by xaphania
Chapter 47
Joyce and Giles stammered, blushing to the roots of their hair. It would have been funny if it hadn’t scarred Buffy for life.
“Honey, this isn’t what it looks like,” Joyce said and patted the front of her wrinkled dress.
If Buffy and Faith had come minutes later, that dress would probably have been flung to the floor already. Buffy’s eyes widened in horror at the mere thought.
“So you weren’t playing tonsil hockey with Giles? This is just so… weird.”
“I have to agree with B,” Faith said.”
Buffy dropped on a nearby chair and tried to make sense of what she’d seen. How was it possible that she hadn’t noticed anything? She didn’t even think to question Giles’ cheerful mood or her mother’s constant question on Giles’ well being.
“How long?” she heard herself ask, and leveled them with a steady gaze. “How long have you two been… doing… this?”
Giles fidgeted with his glasses, avoiding her eyes. “Uh… we haven’t really... about the time your mother came to Bath. But we talked before… on the phone.”
“And not either of you thought that, geez, maybe we should tell Buffy?” She turned to her mother. “I knew you were hiding something from me. Is this how you knew I was here? Did Giles call you first?”
“It wasn’t Rupert’s fault, Buffy. He wanted to help,” Joyce said.
“So if it weren’t for him telling you where I was, you would never have called.” Okay, that hurt. A lot.
Giles finally lifted his eyes. “It wasn’t like that. Yes, I did call your mother to let her know you were here, but she had already been looking for you. But the school records had been burned. She wanted to find you.”
“And you didn’t tell me anything.”
“I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
Buffy shot to her feet and threw her arms in the air. “I’m an adult. I can handle stuff like this. You always keep secrets for my own good, but did it ever occur to you that I trusted you to tell me the truth?”
Giles ducked his head, embarrassed, and her mother approached him to land a hand on his shoulder in a show of support. “I asked him not to tell you.”
“Why?”
“I needed to take care of Ted first… had to leave him because I knew I had to sort my own life before trying to contact you. I’m trying to be a good mother. Please, Buffy, all I ask is that you try to see that.”
“I’m a Vampire Slayer,” she mumbled then repeated it louder, watching with satisfaction as her mother froze to the spot before numbly sinking down on the couch behind her.
“I hunt vampires and demons and all the things that go bump in the night. The things that aren’t supposed to be real. If you don’t believe me, ask Giles. Ask him to tell you why he found me in the first place.”
“Rupert?”
Giles scratched his cheek and glanced at Buffy in disapproval from the corner of his eye. “I-it’s true. She’s a… Buffy’s a slayer. A Chosen One. And I’m her Watcher.”
“Are you two joking?”
Faith made herself known for the first time since the whole situation started and lifted Giles’ phone in her hand. “They’re not joking. And I’m a slayer too.”
After Faith gripped the receiver and squeezed; it crumbled in her fingers.
Giles sputtered. “Was that really necessary? Now I’ll have to buy a new one.”
“My boyfriend is a vampire,” Buffy said.
“I need to sit down,” Joyce said, looking a little bit pale.
“You already are, Mom.”
“Oh.”
*******
Buffy couldn’t believe the way she’d blurted out the truth. In retrospect, it hadn’t been the most rational reaction to seeing Giles and her mother… Okay, that memory still kind of squicked her out. It would probably take her more than a week to get over that. Still, she had to admit that once she got over the initial shock, she could see they were good for each other.
They both deserved to be happy.
Even if she kind of found herself spending more and more time at Spike’s place to avoid hearing the smacking.
Buffy scrunched up her nose at the thought and glanced down at Spike who started to toss in his sleep. He’d been doing that a lot lately. If only there was a way for her to help him ease the pain.
“No… You can’t… It’s mine,” he muttered from sleep, his fists clenching around the sheets entangled around his struggling body.
“Spike, wake up.” She reached out to grasp his shoulder, gently trying to shake him awake. “Spike.”
*******
Fire surrounded him, engulfed him until all he could feel were the burning embers of pain coiling inside him. Wrapping around his soul.
He screamed and crashed to his knees, red and black merging behind his eyelids as he fought to stay conscious.
Even with his eyes closed, he could smell the presence of another being. The sulfurous stench of rotten eggs and evil as the man stepped closer.
“You’re mine, William,” he said. “I own you.”
“No, you don’t, you ugly sod.” He clenched his jaw against a new wave of pain ripping through him.
“Oh, but I do. Your soul is mine, has been ever since the ritual. All I have to do is wait. You might be immortal, but you’re not invincible, vampire. And once you’re dust, I’m going to enjoy collecting it.”
Hermes circled him and a sound of content rumbled through his chest. “I wonder… How long will it take to break it? I’m curious to see it ripped apart, piece by piece until all there is left is… an animal. Ready to do hell’s biding.”
“You can’t break me. This just a dream. Just a dream,” Spike muttered and clutched at his midsection when invisible pokers speared through him. The scent of blood hit the air as it trickled from the corner of his mouth.
“It’s a reminder, William. This is the end. This is what awaits you. It might be decades. It might be tomorrow. But in the end, you belong to me.”
“I’m not. It’s mine, I got it back and it’s mine. You can’t take it!”
“Nobody can help you now,” Hermes said in a growl. “Certainly not that little slayer of yours.”
*******
He came to suddenly, drawing in a sharp breath before letting his lids drift shut again, and rolling onto his side to burrow into Buffy’s embrace.
“Nightmare?” she asked and he nodded. “They’ve been getting worse this week. You’ve been talking from your sleep.”
“Have I?”
“Spike, do you want to talk about it? Because I think you should. I want to be able to help you, but I can’t do that if you keep everything to yourself.”
He rolled onto his back, staring at the white ceiling. “There’s nothing you can do.”
She let out a frustrated sigh and leaned over him, her long hair creating a curtain around his face. “Try me.”
His slayer must be the most stubborn woman in the world. He both loved and hated that about her. “It’s stupid, really. It’s just a nightmare.”
If it was, why did he not sound convincing. He could tell from the look on Buffy’s face that even she heard the hesitation in his voice. No way was she letting him get out of this one without explanation. Not that he knew what exactly was going on himself.
“It’s about Hermes. You remember him? The wanker from hell that drove a dagger into my gut?”
Buffy winced then sat back on her heels. “Why have you been dreaming about him? Why now?”
“Reckon it’s got to do with my shiny soul. Says it’s his, he does. That he owns it. Once I bite the dust, he won’t be shy about claiming it either.”
Her forehead creased in thought. “Are they like prophetic dreams? Like I sometimes have?”
“Don’t know. Could be.” He rubbed his stomach. “The pain felt pretty real.”
“So how are we going to get you out of this?”
“I don’t think we can. He said nobody could help me now. Not even you.”
Buffy’s eyebrow quirked. “He mentioned me?”
“Yeah.” Spike frowned. “A bit weird, isn’t it?”
“That’s plenty weird. Also, if there’s one thing all the bad guys have in common… it’s trying to convince you of something because they don’t want you to see the solution. Which is so stupid, if you ask me. It’s obvious he doesn’t want me to get involved. So that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
“You think you have the answer?” Spike shook his head. “I don’t know, luv. Sounds pretty farfetched to me.”
“No, it’s not.” She stared into distance then, thinking hard and he had to smile. She was adorable.
“Okay, so he said he owned your soul? In those words?”
“Yeah. What’s running through that gorgeous head of yours?”
“I think… I feel like I’m missing something. It’s right there on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t-” She threaded her hand through her hair and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.
“Come here.” He sat up and pulled her against him, kissing her temple. “It’s fine. We’ll figure it out. Now show me that tip of your tongue.”
She rolled her eyes at him, but quickly poked her tongue at him. It was hard to resume conversation when she was purposely teasing him like this. So he did what every self-respecting vampire would. He pushed her down to lie on the bed and covered her lips with his before nibbling on her tongue.
*******
Buffy smiled as she stood in the bathroom at Giles’ apartment, brushing her hair. She wondered if Giles and her mother even realized they were practically living together already. An extra tooth brush? Check. Her mother’s beauty products and perfume? Double check.
Her mom stayed here more often than not. Faith gruffly told Buffy that when she wasn’t around, Joyce showered Faith with overload of motherly love. She said it with a grimace, as though she wasn’t comfortable with it, but Buffy knew better.
“B, you’ve grown old!” came a voice from the doorway.
Buffy glanced at a smirking Faith. “Very funny. It’s not like you haven’t seen me yesterday.”
Faith shrugged. “It was patrolling, so it doesn’t count. You’re barely even here anymore.”
“I promise I’ll come around more often,” Buffy said and put the hairbrush on the vanity table. “I’ve just been thinking about you.”
“You have? Hope it was naughty.”
“Sure was. I was thinking of the two of us wrestling naked and covered in oil,” Buffy retorted with a grin.
Faith whistled. “Nice. But what would your boy toy say?”
“He’d probably want to tape it.”
“Then I’d want a copy of that.” Faith straightened up and her face turned more serious. “I actually wanted to tell you something. Damn you and your distracting.”
“So, what was it?” Buffy walked from the bathroom and glanced over at her shoulder to assure Faith was following her. They sat on her bed as she waited for Faith to speak.
“Right. The witchy coven called. Apparently, I am a slayer-- as we already knew.”
“Did they figure out how it happened?”
“They found a trace of magic in my blood sample. I don’t remember the potion’s name, but they said it was a healing one. If I hadn’t been a potential, it would have only woken me up from the coma. It’s used to bring out the strength, both physical and mental.”
“So it tapped into your potential and brought out your strength literally?”
“That’s what the survey says.”
“Huh. But who-”
“Who gave it to me? Hell if I know. But I owe them a big kiss on the mouth.”
“Ew. What if it was something slimy or old?”
“I’d take my chances.”
TBC
Chapter forty-eight
A/N: Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.
In the last chapter: Buffy and Faith caught Giles and Joyce with their hands in a cookie jar, Spuffy enjoyed some comofortng bathtub time, and Buffy knows magic is what made Faith a slayer. Oh, and all of you reading are awesome. ;)
Chapter 48
“Excuse me?” Buffy’s eyes went impossibly wide as she stared at him slack jawed. It occurred to him that having a row in the middle of a cemetery wasn’t what most people did on a Saturday night. “You did what?”
Oh, he’d truly get it now. Not that he didn’t deserve it. “Yeah, about that…”
“And you’re just telling me now? What the hell were you thinking?”
Spike took a step back from the rage simmering in her eyes. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. “I was just trying to help you.”
“I can’t believe you!” Buffy started pacing. “Actually, I can. What I can’t believe is that you went behind my back to have someone you barely know cook up some hocus pocus that could have killed my best friend! And you didn’t think it was important enough to tell me?”
He threw his hands in a gesture of surrender. “She would have just stayed a vegetable if I hadn’t done it, you know. I heard the doct-”
“But how could you just go and do something so stupid? Did it even occur to you to discuss it with me before you went all knight in shining… leather… and-”
“I knew you wouldn’t be down with it, but I had to do it. I just couldn’t watch you hurting anymore.”
She tore her eyes away from him and crossed her arms over her chest after she ceased her pacing. But he’d be damned if her let her shut him out. Gathering his courage, Spike crossed the short distance between them and gently grasped her chin, forcing her to look at him.
“I’m not sorry for what I did, and I know you’re pissed as hell at me right now, but if I hadn’t done what I had, Faith would still be lying in the hospital and you know it.”
“She might have woken up on her own eventually.”
He dropped his hand and clenched his jaw. “I had to take that risk, and I know it was pretty reckless. I can see that now, you know. Not completely out of my gourd. I’m sorry for not telling you, but… she’s alright, isn’t she? You got your friend back and ultimately, it worked out just fine.”
Buffy unfolded her arms, but her gaze was still tinted with anger, her lips pressed into a thin line. It was killing him. The distance he so desperately wanted to erase. He should have known the whole potion thing would come back to bite him in the arse. Looking back at his decisions, he could see why she was angry, but there wasn’t anything he could do to change it now. Not that he would, because Buffy’s temporary rage was worth not seeing her cry over her best friend. He’d done what he had to.
“Can we just not fight anymore?” he said softly.
She let out a sigh and shot him a tired glance. “I don’t want to fight, but do you realize how many things could have gone kablooey? Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you did it and I’m grateful it worked, but it wasn’t a very smart thing to do.”
At this point, he’d just shut his mouth and nod. Anything to get on her good side again.
“You know I’m going to take this out of your hide, right?” she added.
“Yeah.”
“There might even not be… you know… sexy stuff.”
He could feel a pout forming on his lips, but bloody hell, he couldn’t help it. “Alright. Whatever you say.”
“Good.” She leaned and pecked him on the cheek, which immediately lifted the weight of guilt off his shoulders. “You do realize I might not uphold the sexy stuff withdrawal, right? I don’t think I can keep my hands off you, you… handsome bastard.”
He smiled slightly and reached out to hold her hand. “I think I’m okay with that.”
And just like that, the world started spinning again. As long as he had her, everything would be fine.
*******
Everyone but Buffy had long gone retired to their beds and sounds of an old house stirred the silence around her, but she paid them no mind. There were more important things to consider than an occasional rattling of the old pipes.
The words swam and blurred in front of her gaze so she shut her eyes for a moment, lifting her hand to rub her face. There was something she was missing, a truth that had been eluding her for hours. And it was buried somewhere in these books, she just knew it.
Buffy’s jaw strained with the force of her yawn and she rested her forehead against the cool surface of the book’s pages. She’d just close her eyes.
Only for a minute.
*******
Spike put his feet on the coffee table and tilted the beer bottle towards his mouth as he watched Pacey make a fool of himself once again. Ah, the wonders of Dawson’s Creek reruns. He had to love it.
Beer hit his tongue, and he swallowed it with a grunt of appreciation when someone pounded on his front door. Putting the bottle on the table, Spike rose to his feet.
'If there are any more bloody Jehovah’s witnesses, I’m tearing their limbs off. Soul or no soul.'
Eyes narrowed, he flung open the door. His expression softened when he spotted the visitor.
“Buffy? Why are you knocking?”
Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing as though she ran all the way to his flat. Knowing her, she probably did.
“I forgot my keys.”
He stepped back and she strode inside, nervous energy clinging to her skin.
“What’s the hurry then? Something bad happen?”
She whirled towards him with a barely suppressed grin, and he lifted his eyebrow.
“No, nothing bad. Good. Amazing even,” she said. “I’ve got it, Spike. I’ve got it!”
He chuckled at her enthusiasm. “Alright. Care to tell me what it is that you’ve got?”
“The answer. I know how to save your soul.”
This was probably the last thing he’d expected her to say. His guess had been along the lines of Buffy buying new shoes or getting a hold of an antique weapon. Loved her weapons, his girl did.
“What? How?” he finally asked.
“I know, right? I just knew that I was missing something, and it was right there under my nose all this time. Then I had this dream… I was researching, and you know how much me and books are like the water and oil thingy, but I read those dusty old books for hours and nada! Then I fell asleep on top of one… I kind of wish I was wearing glasses and then they would be all crooked. That would totally look like from a movi-”
“Buffy?” Spike said with a smile. “You’re babbling.”
“Oh. Right. So… umm… the dream. You have to bite me. And then I you, I think.”
“Okay, I’m not following you around that bend.”
“It’s the whole blood bond thing. It makes complete sense to me now. If we create that bond, it’s like ultimate sharing. It means I belong to you and you… all of you… would belong to me. And Hermes doesn’t own your soul completely. Not until you’re… you know… dust. So if we do the whole ritual… Ta da! I would be the one that your soul belongs to and it will revoke his ownership.”
She beamed at him, her eyes big and bright with joy at figuring all of it out. Could it really be that easy? He snorted. It was anything but easy.
“We can’t do it.”
The corners of her mouth drifted down, her shoulders slumping. “What do you mean we can’t? Do you not want to… to be mine?”
“No! That’s not it at all, luv. You know I already am. It’s just… You can’t honestly want me to drink your blood. I don’t trust myself.”
She exhaled a breath and seemed a bit relieved though he didn’t see how she could be in a situation like this.
“I trust you, Spike. Whatever you think might go wrong, it won’t. I want you to drink from me. And we could do it so it’s just me drinking from you, but I want this to be mutual.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he said in a gravely voice.
She approached him until there was barely an inch of space between them. He gazed down at her as she pressed her palms on his chest.
“Please, Spike. I want to belong to you.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but then her hand was at the back of his neck and the next thing he knew, her soft full lips were moving against his, persuasive and mind numbing. With a defeated groan, he tugged her closer and backed her towards the nearest wall. Her back hit the firm surface and he grinded his hips into hers, his tongue slipping past her lips, fingers caressing the warm skin of her cheeks.
Want and need flared up inside him at the feel of her delving beneath his shirt to touch his back, at the delicious friction between their lips. Spike leaned back to let her take in gulps of breath and traced the shape of her throat with soft kisses.
“Upstairs,” she said.
He swept her up in his arms and made it to the bedroom in a record time. The blood drained from his brain and rushed south when she crawled on top of the silk sheets and shed her clothes before sitting on the edge. How did they get here again?
Then it ceased to matter as Buffy reached out and hooked her fingers into his belt loops to pull him closer. There was something he was supposed to be arguing against but he couldn’t quite grasp it. Not when she undid his belt, rubbing his hard flesh through the material of his jeans before tugging the zipper down.
“Oh, fuck,” he said, feeling weak in the knees when she finally touched him.
“I want to taste you.”
“Unh.” He tried to talk. He really did. But the mere sight of her had the words dying in his throat, a drawn out moan the only sound touching the air as she slowly licked the tip of his length.
His brain practically fizzled out when she wrapped her lips around him and sucked as much as she could manage into her hot mouth. With trembling hand, he reached out and stroked her hair, pulling it away from her face.
“Buffy… Christ, feels so good.”
She hummed, and his eyes almost crossed from the vibration. Pleasure coiled and tightened in his belly as he watched her with half-lidded gaze. If he didn’t have her now, she’d get far more than she bargained for.
“Uh, gotta stop now, luv. Have to have you.”
She smiled and released him from her mouth before licking her lips.
“You still have clothes on.”
He shrugged of his shirt and shed his jeans before pressing Buffy into the mattress with his weight.
“That was incredible,” he murmured into her neck.
“Did you really like it?”
“I didn’t like it. I loved it.” God, her skin was burning him in the best possibly way. He could feel every shiver as he kissed her jaw, could hear every little sigh as he traced the shell of her ear with his tongue. “You’re the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world.”
She giggled and circled patterns on the skin of his back. “You sweet talker you. Are you trying to get laid?”
He grinned and bit her lobe. “Oh yeah. Is it working?”
“Maybe. Still haven’t decided.”
“Hmm… I should persuade you then.”
“Definitely, Mister.” She tightened her legs around his waist and flipped him onto his back. “I want you right now.”
“No argument here.” Spike rested his hands on her hips and lifted his head to capture her lips in a deep kiss.
“Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we do it? Will you bite me when we…”
He met her gaze and struggled to answer. Didn’t she realize how much he wanted to say yes? To taste her? To have her inside him? To be hers in return? But what if he lost it? The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
“I trust you,” she said, her eyes imploring him to realize the truth of her words. “Please, Spike. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. Please.”
It was her pleading that did it. That made his resistance crack and crumble. He couldn’t deny her anything. Not when he desperately craved it just as much.
“I’ve always belonged to you, Buffy,” he said in a low voice. “Always.”
TBC
In the last chapter: Buffy and Faith caught Giles and Joyce with their hands in a cookie jar, Spuffy enjoyed some comofortng bathtub time, and Buffy knows magic is what made Faith a slayer. Oh, and all of you reading are awesome. ;)
Chapter 48
“Excuse me?” Buffy’s eyes went impossibly wide as she stared at him slack jawed. It occurred to him that having a row in the middle of a cemetery wasn’t what most people did on a Saturday night. “You did what?”
Oh, he’d truly get it now. Not that he didn’t deserve it. “Yeah, about that…”
“And you’re just telling me now? What the hell were you thinking?”
Spike took a step back from the rage simmering in her eyes. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. “I was just trying to help you.”
“I can’t believe you!” Buffy started pacing. “Actually, I can. What I can’t believe is that you went behind my back to have someone you barely know cook up some hocus pocus that could have killed my best friend! And you didn’t think it was important enough to tell me?”
He threw his hands in a gesture of surrender. “She would have just stayed a vegetable if I hadn’t done it, you know. I heard the doct-”
“But how could you just go and do something so stupid? Did it even occur to you to discuss it with me before you went all knight in shining… leather… and-”
“I knew you wouldn’t be down with it, but I had to do it. I just couldn’t watch you hurting anymore.”
She tore her eyes away from him and crossed her arms over her chest after she ceased her pacing. But he’d be damned if her let her shut him out. Gathering his courage, Spike crossed the short distance between them and gently grasped her chin, forcing her to look at him.
“I’m not sorry for what I did, and I know you’re pissed as hell at me right now, but if I hadn’t done what I had, Faith would still be lying in the hospital and you know it.”
“She might have woken up on her own eventually.”
He dropped his hand and clenched his jaw. “I had to take that risk, and I know it was pretty reckless. I can see that now, you know. Not completely out of my gourd. I’m sorry for not telling you, but… she’s alright, isn’t she? You got your friend back and ultimately, it worked out just fine.”
Buffy unfolded her arms, but her gaze was still tinted with anger, her lips pressed into a thin line. It was killing him. The distance he so desperately wanted to erase. He should have known the whole potion thing would come back to bite him in the arse. Looking back at his decisions, he could see why she was angry, but there wasn’t anything he could do to change it now. Not that he would, because Buffy’s temporary rage was worth not seeing her cry over her best friend. He’d done what he had to.
“Can we just not fight anymore?” he said softly.
She let out a sigh and shot him a tired glance. “I don’t want to fight, but do you realize how many things could have gone kablooey? Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you did it and I’m grateful it worked, but it wasn’t a very smart thing to do.”
At this point, he’d just shut his mouth and nod. Anything to get on her good side again.
“You know I’m going to take this out of your hide, right?” she added.
“Yeah.”
“There might even not be… you know… sexy stuff.”
He could feel a pout forming on his lips, but bloody hell, he couldn’t help it. “Alright. Whatever you say.”
“Good.” She leaned and pecked him on the cheek, which immediately lifted the weight of guilt off his shoulders. “You do realize I might not uphold the sexy stuff withdrawal, right? I don’t think I can keep my hands off you, you… handsome bastard.”
He smiled slightly and reached out to hold her hand. “I think I’m okay with that.”
And just like that, the world started spinning again. As long as he had her, everything would be fine.
*******
Everyone but Buffy had long gone retired to their beds and sounds of an old house stirred the silence around her, but she paid them no mind. There were more important things to consider than an occasional rattling of the old pipes.
The words swam and blurred in front of her gaze so she shut her eyes for a moment, lifting her hand to rub her face. There was something she was missing, a truth that had been eluding her for hours. And it was buried somewhere in these books, she just knew it.
Buffy’s jaw strained with the force of her yawn and she rested her forehead against the cool surface of the book’s pages. She’d just close her eyes.
Only for a minute.
*******
Spike put his feet on the coffee table and tilted the beer bottle towards his mouth as he watched Pacey make a fool of himself once again. Ah, the wonders of Dawson’s Creek reruns. He had to love it.
Beer hit his tongue, and he swallowed it with a grunt of appreciation when someone pounded on his front door. Putting the bottle on the table, Spike rose to his feet.
'If there are any more bloody Jehovah’s witnesses, I’m tearing their limbs off. Soul or no soul.'
Eyes narrowed, he flung open the door. His expression softened when he spotted the visitor.
“Buffy? Why are you knocking?”
Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing as though she ran all the way to his flat. Knowing her, she probably did.
“I forgot my keys.”
He stepped back and she strode inside, nervous energy clinging to her skin.
“What’s the hurry then? Something bad happen?”
She whirled towards him with a barely suppressed grin, and he lifted his eyebrow.
“No, nothing bad. Good. Amazing even,” she said. “I’ve got it, Spike. I’ve got it!”
He chuckled at her enthusiasm. “Alright. Care to tell me what it is that you’ve got?”
“The answer. I know how to save your soul.”
This was probably the last thing he’d expected her to say. His guess had been along the lines of Buffy buying new shoes or getting a hold of an antique weapon. Loved her weapons, his girl did.
“What? How?” he finally asked.
“I know, right? I just knew that I was missing something, and it was right there under my nose all this time. Then I had this dream… I was researching, and you know how much me and books are like the water and oil thingy, but I read those dusty old books for hours and nada! Then I fell asleep on top of one… I kind of wish I was wearing glasses and then they would be all crooked. That would totally look like from a movi-”
“Buffy?” Spike said with a smile. “You’re babbling.”
“Oh. Right. So… umm… the dream. You have to bite me. And then I you, I think.”
“Okay, I’m not following you around that bend.”
“It’s the whole blood bond thing. It makes complete sense to me now. If we create that bond, it’s like ultimate sharing. It means I belong to you and you… all of you… would belong to me. And Hermes doesn’t own your soul completely. Not until you’re… you know… dust. So if we do the whole ritual… Ta da! I would be the one that your soul belongs to and it will revoke his ownership.”
She beamed at him, her eyes big and bright with joy at figuring all of it out. Could it really be that easy? He snorted. It was anything but easy.
“We can’t do it.”
The corners of her mouth drifted down, her shoulders slumping. “What do you mean we can’t? Do you not want to… to be mine?”
“No! That’s not it at all, luv. You know I already am. It’s just… You can’t honestly want me to drink your blood. I don’t trust myself.”
She exhaled a breath and seemed a bit relieved though he didn’t see how she could be in a situation like this.
“I trust you, Spike. Whatever you think might go wrong, it won’t. I want you to drink from me. And we could do it so it’s just me drinking from you, but I want this to be mutual.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he said in a gravely voice.
She approached him until there was barely an inch of space between them. He gazed down at her as she pressed her palms on his chest.
“Please, Spike. I want to belong to you.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but then her hand was at the back of his neck and the next thing he knew, her soft full lips were moving against his, persuasive and mind numbing. With a defeated groan, he tugged her closer and backed her towards the nearest wall. Her back hit the firm surface and he grinded his hips into hers, his tongue slipping past her lips, fingers caressing the warm skin of her cheeks.
Want and need flared up inside him at the feel of her delving beneath his shirt to touch his back, at the delicious friction between their lips. Spike leaned back to let her take in gulps of breath and traced the shape of her throat with soft kisses.
“Upstairs,” she said.
He swept her up in his arms and made it to the bedroom in a record time. The blood drained from his brain and rushed south when she crawled on top of the silk sheets and shed her clothes before sitting on the edge. How did they get here again?
Then it ceased to matter as Buffy reached out and hooked her fingers into his belt loops to pull him closer. There was something he was supposed to be arguing against but he couldn’t quite grasp it. Not when she undid his belt, rubbing his hard flesh through the material of his jeans before tugging the zipper down.
“Oh, fuck,” he said, feeling weak in the knees when she finally touched him.
“I want to taste you.”
“Unh.” He tried to talk. He really did. But the mere sight of her had the words dying in his throat, a drawn out moan the only sound touching the air as she slowly licked the tip of his length.
His brain practically fizzled out when she wrapped her lips around him and sucked as much as she could manage into her hot mouth. With trembling hand, he reached out and stroked her hair, pulling it away from her face.
“Buffy… Christ, feels so good.”
She hummed, and his eyes almost crossed from the vibration. Pleasure coiled and tightened in his belly as he watched her with half-lidded gaze. If he didn’t have her now, she’d get far more than she bargained for.
“Uh, gotta stop now, luv. Have to have you.”
She smiled and released him from her mouth before licking her lips.
“You still have clothes on.”
He shrugged of his shirt and shed his jeans before pressing Buffy into the mattress with his weight.
“That was incredible,” he murmured into her neck.
“Did you really like it?”
“I didn’t like it. I loved it.” God, her skin was burning him in the best possibly way. He could feel every shiver as he kissed her jaw, could hear every little sigh as he traced the shell of her ear with his tongue. “You’re the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world.”
She giggled and circled patterns on the skin of his back. “You sweet talker you. Are you trying to get laid?”
He grinned and bit her lobe. “Oh yeah. Is it working?”
“Maybe. Still haven’t decided.”
“Hmm… I should persuade you then.”
“Definitely, Mister.” She tightened her legs around his waist and flipped him onto his back. “I want you right now.”
“No argument here.” Spike rested his hands on her hips and lifted his head to capture her lips in a deep kiss.
“Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we do it? Will you bite me when we…”
He met her gaze and struggled to answer. Didn’t she realize how much he wanted to say yes? To taste her? To have her inside him? To be hers in return? But what if he lost it? The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
“I trust you,” she said, her eyes imploring him to realize the truth of her words. “Please, Spike. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. Please.”
It was her pleading that did it. That made his resistance crack and crumble. He couldn’t deny her anything. Not when he desperately craved it just as much.
“I’ve always belonged to you, Buffy,” he said in a low voice. “Always.”
TBC
Chapter forty-nine
A/N: This is it folks. The last chapter. Makes me all kinds of emotional, and I especially want to thank you all who stuck with this story right to the end. Every single review meant the world to me, and it is thanks to your support that this story is finished.
I have started another story, but I probably start updating after my uni assessments are done, which could be in a month or so. It will be full of snark and banter. Don't we all love it? ;)
Beta'd by the amazing ladies dawnofme and Mabel Marsters. They have been a great help.
Amazing banner by xaphania
Chapter 49
Did it mean Spike agreed to the blood link? His eyes spoke volumes but maybe she read him wrong.
“Is that a yes?”
“God, yes. I want this. So much,” he said, and she swept down to kiss him.
“Scoot,” she said and watched him recline against the headboard.
She clasped his shoulders and straddled him, shifting closer before she settled over his lap. She lifted slightly, grasped his hardness in her hand and slowly sank down until she was sitting on his thighs.
“Buffy…”
“Shh…” Her lips tickled the shell of his ear as she leaned in. “Want to feel you.”
He caressed her back, tracing her spine as he nuzzled her neck. “Promise you’ll whack me on the head if I go too far.”
With a smile, Buffy nodded. “I promise.”
She swayed her hips, loving how he felt inside her. How he stretched and filled her until all she could feel was him. Spike’s eyelashes fluttered before he drew in a harsh breath. A small crease appeared between his brows and she pressed a kiss there, lingering a few moments. The love for him expanded in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. He was so beautiful. So completely taken over by the sensations. So irrevocably hers.
Buffy slowly rose then sank down, their gazes locked as they drank each other in. Hands roamed over sizzling skin, stroking and caressing. Loving each other without words. Even the slightest movement sent shots of pleasure to her nerve endings, made her almost breathless with the bottomless need for him. The man he’d become. The man he’d always been.
Spike bit his lip as he pushed her hips down to meet his upward thrust. Her skin tightened, her heart pounded in her chest as the longing for him rushed through her veins. Her movement turned more erratic as the control slipped from her grasp, her whole body screaming for release.
She cupped the back of his neck, arching her throat in blatant invitation. “Please, Spike. Do it. Now.”
With a growl, he vamped out, and she felt a shiver of anticipation crawl down her spine when the tips of his fangs prickled her flesh. He hugged her to him, her breasts pressing into his solid chest as he slowly, achingly so, penetrated the skin with his fangs.
It hurt, and she gasped when the skin gave way beneath his teeth. Then he sucked.
'Oh God…'
Painful rapture flared up inside her, melting her against him. Into him. Her heart hammered as he languidly drank, tightly gripping her hips as she moved above him. The world around dissolved, bled into sensations, and there was only the two of them. A moan slipped past her quivering lips, the sensations rushing and roaring through her, rising to a crescendo she was sure would kill her.
He grinded her against him and took another pull of her blood into his mouth. That was all it took. She shattered, crumbled into tiny particles of pure pleasure, her whole body tensing and shuddering before she collapsed against him with a gasp.
Spike slid out his fangs and immediately melted into his human face as he licked her wound. “Mine. Heart, body and soul.”
Still dazed from the climax, Buffy smiled and said in a breathy voice, “Yours. All yours.”
He was still hard inside of her and she renewed her movements while he bit into his wrist. Holding out his bloody hand to her mouth, she closed her eyes and closed her lips around the wound. It was like licking metal with a hint of sweetness, but she took it in and swallowed a few drops.
“You’re mine. Heart, body and soul.”
He strained beneath her, climax finally overwhelming him. “Yours, Buffy. Always.”
She went limp in Spike’s strong arms and felt him pull the covers over their shaking bodies as he hugged her close.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too.” She smiled and nuzzled his cheek. “See? I told you I trusted you.”
“I’m glad I didn’t go all bonkers on you.” He fell quiet then said, “I feel… I feel at peace. How do you feel?”
“Me too. It’s like I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for all my life, you know. Like I’m… complete.”
“Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”
She knew exactly what he meant.
*******
It had been a couple of weeks since they exchanged blood. Two weeks without nightmares. Of feeling as though unseen shackles fell off his wrists. Spike didn’t understand it, but he wasn’t stupid enough to question a good thing when he got it. Maybe Buffy had been right after all, and giving his soul for her to keep just might have revoked Hermes’ ownership. Not like he’d find out without dusting first.
It hadn’t really changed anything between them. They couldn’t read each other’s thoughts, fortunately. He was pretty sure that if Buffy saw all the perverse images flying around his mind when she was around, he’d get kicked in the head for it. But he wouldn’t mind knowing what kinds of nasties were lurking in her br-
A blurry shape attacked him, and he tumbled to the ground with an unmanly yelp.
“Gotcha!” the attacker screamed into his ear then laughed at what was probably an incredulous expression on his face.
“Bleeding hell, luv. Give a bloke heads up, would you? I almost had a heart attack.”
Buffy just looked at him.
“Alright, maybe not heart attack, but you know what I mean.”
Only his crazy Slayer could consider playing hide and seek in a cemetery a great past time. Not that he minded much, what with her straddling him. Come to think of it, the two of them had many unusual soirees in this place.
“I totally sneaked up on you,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Now say ‘Buffy is the king of the world.’”
He chuckled. “Didn’t you mean the queen of the world?”
She thumped him on the shoulder. “Smartass. How about I’m the king and you’ll be the queen?”
At that she collapsed in a fit of giggles against his chest, and he couldn’t help but shake his head in wry amusement.
“You’re bonkers, luv. But I’ll bite… Metaphorically this time. Buffy is the king of the world, and she’s got the best pair of tits in the universe.”
“Hey! I so did not tell you to say that.”
“Still true though.”
“You can be such a pig.”
“Only because I know you love it.”
“Do not.”
He growled and tugged her down to kiss the pout off her lips. She tasted like the strawberry ice cream he’d bought for her before the patrol.
“Are you two smooching again?” came an annoyed voice from above them, and they looked up with guilty faces.
Faith stood there with a cocked hip, a stake in her hand. “Honestly, you two are as bad as bunnies.”
“You’re just jealous,” Spike said with a smirk.
“Oh man, am I ever.”
Buffy leapt to her feet and extended a hand to him to help him up. Dusting off his jeans, he suddenly glanced up to notice they both stared at him with strange expressions. Was it mirth? He didn’t have leaves in his hair, did he? He patted it just to be sure.
“What?” he finally asked.
Buffy shrugged and exchanged a grin with Faith. Before he knew what happened, they were circling him like two predators stalking a prey. A smile stretched his lips as he got into a fighting position.
They attacked him at once and he had to use every possible trick to fend them off. He whirled around just in to catch Buffy’s foot aiming at his head and shoved her backwards then he jumped into the air to avoid getting his legs swept out from beneath him by Faith. He traded several punches with Faith before catching her with an upper cut. Buffy had just risen to her feet and cart wheeled towards him. The two of them were evenly matched and none of the punches landed.
Spike ducked under Buffy’s arm when he felt the air behind him shift, telling him Faith had rejoined the fight. They stood opposite him side by side, their blood rushing quickly beneath their skin. He was a good fighter but he was hardly a sufficient match for the two Slayers combined.
They launched themselves at him at the same time, so he did what would every self-respecting vampire do. He roared and ran straight at them. He saw their eyes widen right before he tackled both of them to the ground.
“You bints ganging up on me? I’ll show you, you sodding cheaters.”
He tickled them until they were gasping for breath and slapping at his hands.
“Uncle! Uncle!” Buffy screamed, and he let them up with a smirk firmly planted on his lips.
“You play dirty, luv.”
“I wonder who taught me that.”
“Touché,” he said and helped them up.
“Tonight has been really slow,” Faith complained and brushed the grass off her leather pants. “Girls gotta find their fun somehow, right, B?”
“Yup. As she said.”
“I must be the only crazy vamp that spars not only with one, but two slayers… willingly.”
“You’re as crazy as they get, man,” Faith said.
“Now I’m hungry,” Buffy said and slipped her arm around his waist. “Feed me.”
“She’s really high maintenance,” Spike mock-whispered to Faith, which earned him a pinch to his ass. He jumped slightly.
“Believe me, I know,” Faith said.
“When you’re done talking about me, can we go get some Chinese food? Oh, and fortune cookies!”
“Come on, you two. I’m paying,” Spike said.
*******
Spike felt so proud of her as he watched Buffy walk up the stage and take the high school diploma from her headmaster. Faith and Giles and Joyce all surrounded her with big smiles and hugs as soon as she walked down the steps. For a moment a pang of sadness hit him as he stood at the fringe of shadows, observing her happiness from distance but unable to reach.
Then Buffy turned her head in his direction and their eyes connected through the throng of celebrating graduates. Her lips moved as she said something to the people beside her. A ray of sun battled its way through the thick clouds to illuminate her face briefly and his hands trembled as she elbowed her way towards him. She’d always seen him even when he himself felt invisible.
“Look what I’ve got,” she said and waved the diploma in the air.
“Looks like you’re all grown up now, luv.”
“Yup, one hundred percent mature Buffy.”
Chuckling, Spike drew her into his arms, inhaling the scent of her hair.
“You didn’t have to come,” she said. “It’s not safe for you even if it’s cloudy right now. Don’t want you going up in flames.”
“Wouldn’t miss this for a world, Buffy. Don’t you worry about me. I’ve got these nice sturdy trees to hide me.”
She tightened her arms around him. “Did you get me a graduation present?”
He chuckled at her hopeful tone. “Thought I was your graduation present. I could wear a bow… and nothing else. But as a matter of fact, I do have an actual present for you.”
He just hoped she still wanted a kitten.
“You naked is all the present I need. Really.” She leaned in to pepper his neck with soft kisses as her hands slipped beneath his t-shirt to stroke the bare skin. “Can we go right now?”
“Don’t think the parents would be all that happy with you pulling a Houdini on them.”
She sighed. “You’re right. Damn. Okay, we’ll go do the whole family celebration thingy and then you and me will have our own celebration. Preferably naked. With whipped cream involved.”
“Mmm, sounds bloody great. A Buffy dessert. Just what I fancy.”
She pulled away and entwined her hand with his before she called out to Giles. He and Joyce had been going steady, Giles managing to help patching things up between the mother and daughter when things got tense. Buffy had permanently moved into Spike’s—now theirs—home. He grinned at the thought of her reprimanding him on throwing his socks on the floor, or their bickering as they tried to cook and almost burned the apartment down.
Faith walked over to them with her own diploma clasped in her hand, closely followed by Giles with his arm over Joyce’s shoulders. As soon as they reached Buffy and Spike, they all made their way towards the parking lot. Spike glanced down at Buffy and she caught his eye, smiling and squeezing his hand.
He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone the way he did her. Couldn’t quite believe the way she loved him back, helped him forgive himself. He tried to blink back the tears in his eyes, as Buffy’s brows creased in concern. He managed to smile and lightly shake his head to let her know everything was all right.
Maybe one of them would die tomorrow. Maybe they would live forever. He didn’t know. The only thing he knew was the way she made him feel ever since he first laid eyes on her when she ran into him and made him drop the books in the school hallway.
After all the things they both had been through, all the turns and twists and pain, they still managed to come together in the end. Loving, arguing, passionate, tender.
“I love you,” he said.
Buffy beamed up at him, whispering the words back as she leaned into his side.
THE END
A/N: I really hope I've managed to end this in a satisfactry way for you. Sorry if you were expecting a big show down between Hermes and Spuffy, I hope you're not too disappointed. Being a devil, I thought he'd be pretty impressed with how they managed to sneak their way out of the contract. ;)
It would made me incredibly happy to hear your thoughts. Even if you've never left a review before, please let me know whether you enjoyed the journey. :) Looking forward to replying to you guys!
I have started another story, but I probably start updating after my uni assessments are done, which could be in a month or so. It will be full of snark and banter. Don't we all love it? ;)
Beta'd by the amazing ladies dawnofme and Mabel Marsters. They have been a great help.
Amazing banner by xaphania
Chapter 49
Did it mean Spike agreed to the blood link? His eyes spoke volumes but maybe she read him wrong.
“Is that a yes?”
“God, yes. I want this. So much,” he said, and she swept down to kiss him.
“Scoot,” she said and watched him recline against the headboard.
She clasped his shoulders and straddled him, shifting closer before she settled over his lap. She lifted slightly, grasped his hardness in her hand and slowly sank down until she was sitting on his thighs.
“Buffy…”
“Shh…” Her lips tickled the shell of his ear as she leaned in. “Want to feel you.”
He caressed her back, tracing her spine as he nuzzled her neck. “Promise you’ll whack me on the head if I go too far.”
With a smile, Buffy nodded. “I promise.”
She swayed her hips, loving how he felt inside her. How he stretched and filled her until all she could feel was him. Spike’s eyelashes fluttered before he drew in a harsh breath. A small crease appeared between his brows and she pressed a kiss there, lingering a few moments. The love for him expanded in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. He was so beautiful. So completely taken over by the sensations. So irrevocably hers.
Buffy slowly rose then sank down, their gazes locked as they drank each other in. Hands roamed over sizzling skin, stroking and caressing. Loving each other without words. Even the slightest movement sent shots of pleasure to her nerve endings, made her almost breathless with the bottomless need for him. The man he’d become. The man he’d always been.
Spike bit his lip as he pushed her hips down to meet his upward thrust. Her skin tightened, her heart pounded in her chest as the longing for him rushed through her veins. Her movement turned more erratic as the control slipped from her grasp, her whole body screaming for release.
She cupped the back of his neck, arching her throat in blatant invitation. “Please, Spike. Do it. Now.”
With a growl, he vamped out, and she felt a shiver of anticipation crawl down her spine when the tips of his fangs prickled her flesh. He hugged her to him, her breasts pressing into his solid chest as he slowly, achingly so, penetrated the skin with his fangs.
It hurt, and she gasped when the skin gave way beneath his teeth. Then he sucked.
'Oh God…'
Painful rapture flared up inside her, melting her against him. Into him. Her heart hammered as he languidly drank, tightly gripping her hips as she moved above him. The world around dissolved, bled into sensations, and there was only the two of them. A moan slipped past her quivering lips, the sensations rushing and roaring through her, rising to a crescendo she was sure would kill her.
He grinded her against him and took another pull of her blood into his mouth. That was all it took. She shattered, crumbled into tiny particles of pure pleasure, her whole body tensing and shuddering before she collapsed against him with a gasp.
Spike slid out his fangs and immediately melted into his human face as he licked her wound. “Mine. Heart, body and soul.”
Still dazed from the climax, Buffy smiled and said in a breathy voice, “Yours. All yours.”
He was still hard inside of her and she renewed her movements while he bit into his wrist. Holding out his bloody hand to her mouth, she closed her eyes and closed her lips around the wound. It was like licking metal with a hint of sweetness, but she took it in and swallowed a few drops.
“You’re mine. Heart, body and soul.”
He strained beneath her, climax finally overwhelming him. “Yours, Buffy. Always.”
She went limp in Spike’s strong arms and felt him pull the covers over their shaking bodies as he hugged her close.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too.” She smiled and nuzzled his cheek. “See? I told you I trusted you.”
“I’m glad I didn’t go all bonkers on you.” He fell quiet then said, “I feel… I feel at peace. How do you feel?”
“Me too. It’s like I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for all my life, you know. Like I’m… complete.”
“Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”
She knew exactly what he meant.
*******
It had been a couple of weeks since they exchanged blood. Two weeks without nightmares. Of feeling as though unseen shackles fell off his wrists. Spike didn’t understand it, but he wasn’t stupid enough to question a good thing when he got it. Maybe Buffy had been right after all, and giving his soul for her to keep just might have revoked Hermes’ ownership. Not like he’d find out without dusting first.
It hadn’t really changed anything between them. They couldn’t read each other’s thoughts, fortunately. He was pretty sure that if Buffy saw all the perverse images flying around his mind when she was around, he’d get kicked in the head for it. But he wouldn’t mind knowing what kinds of nasties were lurking in her br-
A blurry shape attacked him, and he tumbled to the ground with an unmanly yelp.
“Gotcha!” the attacker screamed into his ear then laughed at what was probably an incredulous expression on his face.
“Bleeding hell, luv. Give a bloke heads up, would you? I almost had a heart attack.”
Buffy just looked at him.
“Alright, maybe not heart attack, but you know what I mean.”
Only his crazy Slayer could consider playing hide and seek in a cemetery a great past time. Not that he minded much, what with her straddling him. Come to think of it, the two of them had many unusual soirees in this place.
“I totally sneaked up on you,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Now say ‘Buffy is the king of the world.’”
He chuckled. “Didn’t you mean the queen of the world?”
She thumped him on the shoulder. “Smartass. How about I’m the king and you’ll be the queen?”
At that she collapsed in a fit of giggles against his chest, and he couldn’t help but shake his head in wry amusement.
“You’re bonkers, luv. But I’ll bite… Metaphorically this time. Buffy is the king of the world, and she’s got the best pair of tits in the universe.”
“Hey! I so did not tell you to say that.”
“Still true though.”
“You can be such a pig.”
“Only because I know you love it.”
“Do not.”
He growled and tugged her down to kiss the pout off her lips. She tasted like the strawberry ice cream he’d bought for her before the patrol.
“Are you two smooching again?” came an annoyed voice from above them, and they looked up with guilty faces.
Faith stood there with a cocked hip, a stake in her hand. “Honestly, you two are as bad as bunnies.”
“You’re just jealous,” Spike said with a smirk.
“Oh man, am I ever.”
Buffy leapt to her feet and extended a hand to him to help him up. Dusting off his jeans, he suddenly glanced up to notice they both stared at him with strange expressions. Was it mirth? He didn’t have leaves in his hair, did he? He patted it just to be sure.
“What?” he finally asked.
Buffy shrugged and exchanged a grin with Faith. Before he knew what happened, they were circling him like two predators stalking a prey. A smile stretched his lips as he got into a fighting position.
They attacked him at once and he had to use every possible trick to fend them off. He whirled around just in to catch Buffy’s foot aiming at his head and shoved her backwards then he jumped into the air to avoid getting his legs swept out from beneath him by Faith. He traded several punches with Faith before catching her with an upper cut. Buffy had just risen to her feet and cart wheeled towards him. The two of them were evenly matched and none of the punches landed.
Spike ducked under Buffy’s arm when he felt the air behind him shift, telling him Faith had rejoined the fight. They stood opposite him side by side, their blood rushing quickly beneath their skin. He was a good fighter but he was hardly a sufficient match for the two Slayers combined.
They launched themselves at him at the same time, so he did what would every self-respecting vampire do. He roared and ran straight at them. He saw their eyes widen right before he tackled both of them to the ground.
“You bints ganging up on me? I’ll show you, you sodding cheaters.”
He tickled them until they were gasping for breath and slapping at his hands.
“Uncle! Uncle!” Buffy screamed, and he let them up with a smirk firmly planted on his lips.
“You play dirty, luv.”
“I wonder who taught me that.”
“Touché,” he said and helped them up.
“Tonight has been really slow,” Faith complained and brushed the grass off her leather pants. “Girls gotta find their fun somehow, right, B?”
“Yup. As she said.”
“I must be the only crazy vamp that spars not only with one, but two slayers… willingly.”
“You’re as crazy as they get, man,” Faith said.
“Now I’m hungry,” Buffy said and slipped her arm around his waist. “Feed me.”
“She’s really high maintenance,” Spike mock-whispered to Faith, which earned him a pinch to his ass. He jumped slightly.
“Believe me, I know,” Faith said.
“When you’re done talking about me, can we go get some Chinese food? Oh, and fortune cookies!”
“Come on, you two. I’m paying,” Spike said.
*******
Spike felt so proud of her as he watched Buffy walk up the stage and take the high school diploma from her headmaster. Faith and Giles and Joyce all surrounded her with big smiles and hugs as soon as she walked down the steps. For a moment a pang of sadness hit him as he stood at the fringe of shadows, observing her happiness from distance but unable to reach.
Then Buffy turned her head in his direction and their eyes connected through the throng of celebrating graduates. Her lips moved as she said something to the people beside her. A ray of sun battled its way through the thick clouds to illuminate her face briefly and his hands trembled as she elbowed her way towards him. She’d always seen him even when he himself felt invisible.
“Look what I’ve got,” she said and waved the diploma in the air.
“Looks like you’re all grown up now, luv.”
“Yup, one hundred percent mature Buffy.”
Chuckling, Spike drew her into his arms, inhaling the scent of her hair.
“You didn’t have to come,” she said. “It’s not safe for you even if it’s cloudy right now. Don’t want you going up in flames.”
“Wouldn’t miss this for a world, Buffy. Don’t you worry about me. I’ve got these nice sturdy trees to hide me.”
She tightened her arms around him. “Did you get me a graduation present?”
He chuckled at her hopeful tone. “Thought I was your graduation present. I could wear a bow… and nothing else. But as a matter of fact, I do have an actual present for you.”
He just hoped she still wanted a kitten.
“You naked is all the present I need. Really.” She leaned in to pepper his neck with soft kisses as her hands slipped beneath his t-shirt to stroke the bare skin. “Can we go right now?”
“Don’t think the parents would be all that happy with you pulling a Houdini on them.”
She sighed. “You’re right. Damn. Okay, we’ll go do the whole family celebration thingy and then you and me will have our own celebration. Preferably naked. With whipped cream involved.”
“Mmm, sounds bloody great. A Buffy dessert. Just what I fancy.”
She pulled away and entwined her hand with his before she called out to Giles. He and Joyce had been going steady, Giles managing to help patching things up between the mother and daughter when things got tense. Buffy had permanently moved into Spike’s—now theirs—home. He grinned at the thought of her reprimanding him on throwing his socks on the floor, or their bickering as they tried to cook and almost burned the apartment down.
Faith walked over to them with her own diploma clasped in her hand, closely followed by Giles with his arm over Joyce’s shoulders. As soon as they reached Buffy and Spike, they all made their way towards the parking lot. Spike glanced down at Buffy and she caught his eye, smiling and squeezing his hand.
He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone the way he did her. Couldn’t quite believe the way she loved him back, helped him forgive himself. He tried to blink back the tears in his eyes, as Buffy’s brows creased in concern. He managed to smile and lightly shake his head to let her know everything was all right.
Maybe one of them would die tomorrow. Maybe they would live forever. He didn’t know. The only thing he knew was the way she made him feel ever since he first laid eyes on her when she ran into him and made him drop the books in the school hallway.
After all the things they both had been through, all the turns and twists and pain, they still managed to come together in the end. Loving, arguing, passionate, tender.
“I love you,” he said.
Buffy beamed up at him, whispering the words back as she leaned into his side.
THE END
A/N: I really hope I've managed to end this in a satisfactry way for you. Sorry if you were expecting a big show down between Hermes and Spuffy, I hope you're not too disappointed. Being a devil, I thought he'd be pretty impressed with how they managed to sneak their way out of the contract. ;)
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