Did anyone else wonder what happened during that summer Buffy was gone? This story will tell about those 147 days and those crucial weeks after starting with The Gift and Bargaining. This is mostly a Spike-centric story that focuses on his POV and his relationship with Dawn as well as a lot of Dawn’s POV (including their interactions with the rest of the Scoobs) during the summer that Buffy is dead. Then it will touch on the relationships between everyone (mostly Spike, Dawn, Buffy) through the episodes of Afterlife through Wrecked so it's pretty much gonna be cannical (cannon) except for a few small tweaks of my own here and there (which I will point out if you didn't guess). This is the stuff that was alluded to as well as what happened between Afterlife - Wrecked that they didn’t show so expect some heavy angst as well as the general angst that was shown in the timeframe I specified. Now for the prerequisite disclaimer: Non bitey. It starts out kinda PG-17ish/R for heavy angst/general angst, violence, extreme language, character death and then will be rated NC-17 for sexual situations towards the last half of the story. I did not create BtVS or any of its characters nor do I claim any of them at all in any way (though I would love to be the meat between a Angel/Lindsey sammich or a Spike/Wesley sammich…or any combination of the four…I’d be a happy, happy—and well fed—girl either way). I am not making any money off of this fic nor do I have any money to give to Joss or anyone else at M.E. whom are all way richer than I, should they decide to be cantankerous bastards and sue me. This is what I think happened during that time and hopefully it helps to fill in some of the holes/gaps left in between all of those episodes that kind of made you go ‘Huh?!?’ Feedback is greatly appreciated and helps feed my muse although he is deserving of some serious punishment for abandoning me in the middle of my other fic. Stupid writer’s block. *kicks really big concrete block really hard and then cusses really loudly as I limp away*

Here we pick up with the ending of The Gift and what happened afterwards. Much angst!

Grief affects us all in myriad ways.

Aftermath and the funeral

And it's been awhile Since I first saw you And it's been awhile Since I could stand on my own two feet again And it's been awhile Since I could call you...

Confrontation - TISSUE WARNING