Chapter Six


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She stood there for a full few minutes, amazed at what had just happened – before a low groan pulled her from her thoughts. She whipped her head around and then rushed to Spike’s side, dropping to her knees and watching over him worriedly as he moaned and one hand slowly came up to hold his head.

“Bloody hell,” he murmured.

Unthinkingly, she reached out her hand and touched his head gently.

“Is it bad?”

Her soft touch startled him and his eyes flew open, then fell half-shut again as he flinched in pain.

“S’fading.”

She said nothing but she knew by the way he was looking at her that he could read the worry in her face.

“Buffy.”

“So that was fun,” she interrupted nervously, trying to distract him from her tenderness, “Fighting against a nerd with super strength.”

“Buffy,” he repeated slowly, pushing himself painfully into a sitting position – with some instinctive help on her part that didn’t exactly help her case. This she could tell by the tiniest hint of a smile playing about his lips.

“Are you okay?” she asked shakily, her concerned gaze flicking over him.

She felt his fingers brush hers and when she dared to meet his gaze, he was smiling ever so softly at her.

“Worried about me?”



Every instinct in her was screaming at her to flee from him, from those too-knowing eyes, but she held her ground.

“Maybe a little,” she admitted wryly, unable to meet his gaze.

“Sweet,” he murmured, his fingers trailing up her bare arm.

“Not because I… I mean, not that I thought you were badly hurt… but I mean… electricity to the brain… and what the hell was that device thingey anyway. Nerds! I don’t know where they come up with these things-“

Her nervous babbling was cut off as he pressed a single finger to her lips and her gaze jerked to his. He was smiling at her in amusement and affection – a genuine smile, not one she saw often.

“S’nice to know you don’t want my brain fried,” he murmured silkily.

Not knowing what to say to rescue herself, she merely shrugged, once again avoiding his gaze.

“Buffy,” he murmured again – his voice a low, tantalising whisper; his breath cool against her neck.

“I really should-“

She had turned to look at him but the look in his eyes caught her off guard and stopped her mid-sentence. He usually hid this look from her, knowing that it only brought out some sort of sadistic pleasure in her – to take his love and beat it out of him. Now though, his whole face was alight with his love for her – deep and warm and real. It had always been real – and that’s what had scared her so much.



Something about her quiet acceptance must have spurred him on because the next second, his fingers were brushing against her neck as he looked up at her from under impossibly long eyelashes.

“I love you, Buffy.”

“I know you do,” she replied shakily after a moment’s pause.

“S’that so?” he murmured, half to himself, “Well, that’s a start, I guess.”

Blue eyes met hers and everything just fell away – all she could focus on was the feel of him so close. She knew if she did not move in a few seconds he would be kissing her and she was torn as to what to do. Part of her wanted him so much – but part of her knew that things were still unclear, fuzzy.

Before he could move, she jumped up, moving away from him and sitting on the small step in the middle of the shop, eyes on the floor.

“Buffy?” he asked with something like bemusement in his voice.

“I can’t… I can’t be kissing you right now.”

“And who says we were going to be kissing?”

She raised her head and gave him a pointed look and he smiled lasciviously, tucking his tongue behind his teeth. Somehow, though, she forced her gaze away, fixing it on a spot just to her right.

“I was jealous,” she blurted out into the silence of the shop.



It took him a few moments to reply but when he did, she could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“Were you now?”

She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to his, letting him see the pain she had held back. His expression turned serious and he sat up a bit straighter, blue eyes watching her intently.

“Buffy-“

“That’s why I said those things.”

“It doesn’t-“

“You’re not a monster,” she cut in.

She met his gaze square on and she saw the surprise ripple through his body, even as he tried to hide it from her.

“I mean, on paper, yeah,” she added with a tiny little smile which he returned, “But you… you’re real. You’re the most alive person I know.”

“You admit that someone like me – a vampire - can feel?”

“I know you can, Spike. I’ve seen it so many times… but it scared me.”

“Scared you how?”

“You… you feel so much… but you’re dead. And I… I just feel so numb sometimes and I…”

“And you find yourself taking a tumble with the undead to perk things up,” he finished sourly.

“It wasn’t like that.”

He gave her a pointed look and she smiled ever so slightly.

“Not always,” she conceded.



She sighed and hung her head, trying to figure out in her mind what she needed to say to him. She jumped then when she felt him settle beside her on the step and her eyes flew to his.

“You trying to say you might just feel something for ole Spike?” he asked, half playfully.

“You know I do,” she whispered.

“Not just hatred?”

“No.”

“And not just lust?”

“No,” she repeated, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Something more then?”

She turned serious and held his gaze.

“Something. Something that’s kinda big and kinda scary.”

“Why are you so afraid of feeling something for me?” he murmured, reaching out to brush a hand over her hair. She couldn’t help but close her eyes with his caress, leaning into it ever so slightly.

“I don’t know,” she replied with a little laugh, eyes still closed.

“Buffy, look at me,” Spike coaxed, one hand cupping her cheek, “I need to know. Tell me… tell me something, anything, because you’re killing me here.”

“You’re already dead,” she murmured, feeling light-headed as she met his bright gaze.

“Buffy-“

“You know how you once asked me for a crumb?” she whispered, holding his gaze, feeling it warm her.

“Yeah…”

“Well, I… I mean-“



The door burst open once more, interrupting her words and drawing their attention to the door – both with scowls on their faces at the interruption. Spike’s scowl didn’t fade but as she took in the sight of the intruders, Buffy’s expression turned to something like anxiety, with a pinch of fear.

“Hi guys!” she said weakly, flashing her friends a worried smile.

Judging by the wide smile on Dawn’s face, the scowl on Xander’s and the slightly nervous look on Willow’s, this was going to be interesting.



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A/N: I know, I know, more interruptions. They'll talk soon, I promise. :-) Just want to say a quick thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. I've been very bad at replying to reviews but I do read them and appreciate them greatly! Thank you!