“Dancing? Really, pet, you know I don’t dance.”

“I know. But I love it, and so does Buffy.”

Buffy hadn’t remembered ever saying she loved dancing. She had commented in passing that she used to go dancing with her friends back in Sunnydale, and apparently that had been interpreted as she really wanted to go dancing.

Spike sighed. “Alright.”

The three of them managed to pass through the door of a club/bar called Wiley’s with no problem. The bouncer at the door seemed to recognize Katie and reminded Buffy of the guy that had once told her Spike was a player. She felt a sense of déjà vu and attempted to shake it off. The music was playing loud, as to be expected, but was blasting out a song Buffy had never heard.

Katie led both of them out onto the dance floor. She began dancing around and finally Buffy managed to relax enough to join her. Spike swayed slightly, but made no attempt to really dance. More than halfway through the third song, Katie excused herself to go to the bathroom.

“Don’t look so excited,” Buffy said teasingly to the vampire, who looked less than thrilled about the whole thing.

He gave her a look that plainly said ‘poke fun at me again and see what happens’ and it only caused her to laugh. Her laugher was short lived; however, when the upbeat song ended and in its place, a slow song started to play. They both stood there awkwardly amongst the other people who began to dance.

“You wanna uhh…” Spike started, holding out his hand.

“I thought you didn’t dance.”

“I don’t, but I also don’t fancy fighting my way through this crowd.”

Buffy looked around them and realized he was right. They were surrounded by people all dancing in a slow rhythm. It would be nearly impossible to get out now. They would have to wait until the song ended and a path cleared. She looked back at his extended hand and nervously reached out to grab it.

He pulled her to him slowly and placed his hands on her waist, as hers went around his neck. Buffy immediately looked over his shoulder, not wanting her face to be too close to his. They began to move as the song played.

I fell in love at a glance,
Should have known I’d never have a chance
To be with you in the long run.
You have a plan I am not in,
You’re gonna move up North to live again
Whenever school is over.
So I have to let you go,
But before you leave me here,
There’s something you should know.

Spike could feel the warmth of her body that was very close to his, and couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the past. One night in particular stood out. The night he had told her why he loved her; the first night he’d ever spent holding anyone. The best night of his life. He willed himself not to think about it too long.

I’ll bet you never had a clue,
But I’d do anything to be with you.
I’d leave this place in a heart beat.
I’d move away from my sweet home,
Just to be your faithful tagalong.
I’d follow you forever.
But if you’re better left alone,
I’ll do my best to understand,
Still my love will linger on.

Buffy was having problems keeping her mind off of the whole situation. Their current closeness reminded her a little too much of the previous night’s kiss. She still had to admit that it felt good even though everything about it was wrong. ‘Or is it,’ her mind demanded. Because maybe, just maybe, the spell had worked exactly right and she was right where she should be.

When the sun goes down in Georgia,
I’ll be drifting back in time
Wishing love could have changed your mind.
When the moonlight shines through the pine trees,
I’ll get lost in memories,
Dreaming you are here with me.
Oh, it’s sad but true,
I’m just your love sick fool,
So when the sun goes down in Georgia,
I’ll be missing you.

As the oh-too-appropriate song ended, Buffy pulled back, but only slightly. Neither of them relinquished a hold on the other. Their eyes met and Spike could feel her breath on his face. The air had grown thick, much as it had the night before, and they were both prepared for what was coming. What they weren’t prepared for was the girl who was now standing next to them.

“Am I interrupting something?” Katie asked.
----------------------

Of course it was raining. That was just his luck. He really hated England sometimes. It was almost two o’clock. He realized he’d been up for going on 30 hours now and the way his feet were dragging and his eyes were threatening to close at every pause told him he would have to get some rest soon. But there were still things he needed to finish.

Angel felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out of his pocket. It was Dawn. Again. He sighed and pushed the silence button and put it back in his pocket. It was the hundredth call he’d received from either her or Giles and so far he hadn’t answered a one of them. He knew what they were thinking. He hadn’t shown up for work yesterday or today and their conversation from the day before had led them all to come to the logical conclusion that he had ignored their advice and gone to America. And in reality, he had thought about it. But in the end he knew they were right; Buffy would be home soon, hopefully, and he had other obligations. He would; however, let them think the worst of him for now. He didn’t have time to explain what he was really doing today.

The rain seemed to pick up and Angel found himself walking faster. He was almost to the restaurant when the bottom fell out. Luckily, he was fortunate enough to make it to the covered sidewalk and didn’t get drenched by the falling rain. The door to the restaurant opened and he was greeted by a mob of friendly hostesses.

“Can I help you, sir?” one of them asked.

“Yes, I’m meeting someone.”

“Name?”

Before he could speak, a woman came from behind her. “Mr. Angel. Welcome. Your friend is already here. Please follow me.”

Angel had been to the restaurant many times now and the brunette who usually worked the hostess stand had come to know him by name. She led him to the back side of the restaurant to a dimly lit table. He nodded his thanks as she headed back to the front and then he took a seat at the table.

“Angel, I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show,” the woman said with a smile.

“I always do.”
--------------------------

“All right, thank you very much.” Buffy hung the phone up and frowned despite herself.

“Get everything sorted out?” Spike asked her from, where else, the kitchen.

“Yeah, the passport came in this morning. My flight leaves at 7:15 tonight.”

It was good news. Really it was. Her passport had come and now she could head back home and get ready for what should be the greatest day of her life. And here she was frowning.

“That soon? I didn’t think they would be able to get you in till real late or early tomorrow,” Katie said. “You’re gonna get home at like seven or eight in the morning.” She was in the kitchen helping Spike cut vegetables. They had decided to make vegetable lo mien for lunch; it was one of Katie’s favorites.

“There was one flight in the morning, but the only seats left were first class and I didn’t want Spike to have to lend me any more money. I already feel like a moocher.”

“Nonsense,” Katie said. “But maybe you’ll be able to get some sleep on the way home, anyway.”

Buffy noticed how Katie hadn’t looked at her once since opening her mouth. In fact, she hadn’t looked at her much since the night before. Dancing had been a bad idea. But it wasn’t like anything had happened. So she had danced with Spike. And so maybe they had almost kissed again. They hadn’t. It wasn’t that Katie seemed angry or upset, she just seemed…distant. She hadn’t even given Spike his daily kiss today. Not even once. Sure, she was all smiles as usual and she was helping fix a late lunch, but there was something different about her attitude. She almost seemed…worried.

But what had she to worry about? ‘Maybe you and her boyfriend,’ Buffy’s brain screamed at her. ‘You and your lips that somehow keep getting a little too close to his.’ She tried to shake the thoughts away as she moved into the kitchen and sat down at the table. They had both already told her they didn’t need help, so she resorted to picking at the table.

“The food should be done soon,” Katie said. “The veggies won’t take long to soften. How are the noodles coming, Spike?”

“Almost ready, luv.”

Buffy looked at the couple, thinking it odd that Katie had called the vampire by his name. Usually, she called him honey or baby or some other annoying pet name.

And the tension didn’t seem to ease as they all ate their lunch without much conversation at all.

After they finished, the slayer started thinking about the later flight home. She wasn’t the biggest fan of flying and thought it best if she had some motion sickness medicine in her system before takeoff. She asked Spike and Katie if they had any Dramamine but of course they did not.

“I think I should get some. Flying and Buffy are unmixy things.”

“Here,” Spike said, handing her a five dollar bill. “There’s a convenience store around the corner that will probably have some.”

“Thanks. Do either of you need anything?” Buffy asked, feeling slightly guilty for borrowing more money from her ex.

They both responded with a no and Buffy headed out the door. Almost as soon as it closed shut, Katie spoke.

“I can’t do this anymore, Spike.”

He looked over at her, confused. “I can clean up, pet.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” She put the plate down and stepped back. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He was genuinely concerned now.

“Last night, at Wiley’s, you were dancing with Buffy.”

“Yeah?”

She took a deep breath. “And you almost kissed her.”

“Pet…”

She held up her hand. “Let me finish. You almost kissed her, but you didn’t. And that should mean something, right? That you didn’t do it. But the problem is you wanted to. And don’t say you didn’t, cause I know you did. I could see it in the way you looked at her.” She started pacing around the kitchen. “I spent all night thinking about it, and the only thing I could think was that you don’t look at me like anymore, if you ever did. So…I can’t do this anymore.”

“What are you saying?” he asked, though a part of him knew where this was going.

“I’m saying…I want to break up.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted him.

“You don’t love me,” she said. “And it didn’t used to bother me because I thought that eventually you would; that you would let me in.” She turned away. “But it’s becoming pretty clear that that’s never gonna happen.”

She paused again, but for the life of him, Spike couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You still have feelings for her.” It wasn’t a question. “I knew it from the second I saw you with her. I tried to deny it. I tried to pretend that it was just my imagination. But it’s not. You still want to be with her.” Katie had managed to keep her voice calm throughout. It would be pointless to yell.

“She’s getting married in two weeks.” It was a lame answer, but it was the best he could come up with.

“And if she wasn’t?” she said, turning back around to face him. “If she wasn’t marrying someone else, and she told you that she wanted to be with you, can you tell me that you would say no? That you would stay with me?”

“That would never happen.”

“Which part?”

He couldn’t answer.

Katie took a step closer to him. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not still in love with her.”

Spike met her eyes and wanted to speak, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t deny what he knew was true.

“That’s what I thought.” Katie turned away once again. She had just received the confirmation she had known was coming. And despite the fact that she was ready, that she was expecting it, it still hurt. She was really falling for him, but he wasn’t falling for her, and he never had been. “I should go. I’ll come by and get my things later.”

“Katie, wait…please. I…I’ll try harder.” He didn’t know what else to say but that he would try. He would try to forget the slayer and he would try to love her.

She turned back around. “That’s the thing, Spike. You shouldn’t have to try. It should just be there. And it is with her.”

“She doesn’t love me.”

“But it is fair for me to love you when you still want her?”

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t fair to ask her to stay. And so he wouldn’t.

Katie walked back over to him and put her arms around him in a quick hug. She placed a kiss on his cheek and then stepped back. “I’m really gonna miss you, but I think this is for the best.” She headed for the door. Before she left the apartment she gave him one final look. “And you’re wrong. She does love you. I know she does.”
--------------------

Dawn closed her eyes and lay down on the small cushioned bench. The day had dragged on and on and she was beyond ready to go home. Giles had kept her busy most of the day running “errands” for him. Who knew an old British guy had so much on his to-do list? She heard the door at the end of the hall open and opened her eyes. When she saw who it was, she sat up quickly.

“Angel?” she said surprised.

The ex-vampire glanced down at her. “Dawn.”

“You’re not…in America.”

“No, I’m not.”

“But…you didn’t show up for work so I thought…”

“You thought I went to get Buffy.”

“Well yeah.”

Angel continued walking down the hall and Dawn got up to follow him.

“Wait, so, if you didn’t go to America, then where were you? And why didn’t you answer any of my calls?”

“None of your business,” he said with a slight smile. “And I was busy.”

“Too busy to answer the phone?” she asked skeptically.

“Yes.”

“And why didn’t you tell anyone you were missing work for two days?”

“I did. I told Xander.”

“Well, why did you do that? Giles was pretty pissed.”

“Tell him I’m sorry then. I’m just under a lot of stress right now…with the wedding coming up.”

Dawn stopped walking and rolled her eyes. “Yeah…right.” She looked after him vowing to herself that she would find out where he had really been the last two days, even if it was possible that she didn’t want to know.
--------------------

Buffy opened the door to the apartment and stepped inside. Everything looked the same. Spike was in the kitchen as per usual moving things around. Nothing was out of place, but something felt…different. It was almost like there was an invisible blanket of gloominess in the air.

“Honey, I’m home,” Buffy said jokingly in an attempt to lighten the perceived unhappiness.

“Did you get what you needed?”

“Yeah. Thanks. I promise I’ll pay you back. I’ll wire you the money as soon as I get home.”

“I told you, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to.”

Buffy looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearly 3:30. With all of the hassle she was sure to face at the airport, i.e. picking up her passport, she wanted to get there by four at the latest. She didn’t have bags to check, but the Atlanta airport had been packed to the max with people last time she’d gone, and the last thing she needed was to miss her flight.

“We should probably leave soon. But like I said, I can take a cab.”

“No, I’ll drive you.”

Her earlier perception of gloom was reinforced by Spike’s attitude. He seemed to be moving around the kitchen in almost slow motion. Buffy noticed for the first time that the other girl was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Katie?” she asked, and then added, “I want to say goodbye before I leave.” It seemed less nosey that way.

“She’s gone,” he said putting the dishes he’d just taken off of the table into the sink.

“Well, when is she coming back?”

He turned the water on. “She’s not coming back.”

Buffy’s face took on a look of confusion. “What do you mean she’s not coming back?”

“Just what I said, luv, she’s gone…for good.” He turned off the faucet and dried his hands on a towel.

“What?”

He turned to face her. “She left me.”

Buffy’s face dropped. “Why?”

He shook his head. “S’not important. What is important is that we get you to the airport before you miss your flight.” He walked past her and went to grab his keys off of the end table.

She remained standing where she was, her mind racing. She felt sick. His girlfriend had left him, and she was pretty sure she knew why.

“Is it…is it because of me?” She turned around to look at him.

He had an unreadable expression on his face. “No. It’s because of me.”

She wasn’t sure if she believed that. “So it had nothing to do with me being here?”

He wanted to say no, but couldn’t. Instead he simply remained quiet. She took his silence as a yes.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing.” He started to the door.

“Spike.”

He knew she wouldn’t give up that easily. He looked back at her.

“Please.”

He sighed. Telling her the truth would probably only make him look pathetic, but what did it really matter? She was leaving anyway. “She thinks…she thinks I’m still in love with you.”

“And are you?” she asked without thinking. She wasn’t really sure she wanted to know the answer to that. It could complicate everything. Not that this trip hadn’t already done that.

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“I just…I don’t know, alright?”

“You have to know.”

“Well, I bloody well don’t,” he yelled at her.

She closed her mouth. She didn’t want to push him any farther. Though she hadn’t seen him in years, she knew when to stop.

“This is all just so bloody confusing. I mean everything was good. I had a great job, a wonderful girl; it made sense. And then you show up and everything changed,” he ranted.

“I’m sorry,” she offered.

“S’not your fault, pet.”

“But it is…I’m the one who had this spell cast. I’m the one who showed up here. You said so yourself, remember?”

“I was wrong. It isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault. Sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

They both remained quiet a few moments.

“We should go,” he finally said.

She nodded. He opened the door and they started out.
---------------------------------

They didn’t speak much during the car ride, neither really knowing what to say. Spike was wrestling with his feelings. He knew he loved this woman and always would. The question remained; was he still in love with her? He was almost afraid to give it too much thought. It terrified him to think that he was still in love with her.

Buffy was having similar fears. Could Spike still be in love with her? It had been almost five years. How could he still have such strong feelings for her? The spell that she'd tried so hard not to think about all day made its way into her mind. Loves her the most.

When the car finally pulled into the airport, Spike parked it in the thirty-minute parking space. Yeah, he would probably be there longer than that, but it wasn’t like he would pay the ticket even if they gave him one.

“You don’t have to go in with me,” Buffy tried to tell him. ‘It will make this easier,’ she wanted to add.

“I just want to make sure you get everything straightened out before I leave. Wouldn’t want to have to come back and get you, now would I, pet?”

He had a point. Yes, they had called and said her passport had come in, but that was no guarantee that she was going to get it. And she would hate having to make him drive all the way back, fighting the Atlanta traffic, to pick her up if she couldn’t catch the flight.

It took her nearly two and a half hours to get everything sorted out. The passport had been more difficult than she thought to pick up, and they had asked for her driver’s license, like she would have that with her. Spike had come close to threatening one of the ticket workers, who claimed Buffy didn’t have the appropriate paperwork to retrieve her ticket. But finally, she had managed to get everything she needed and then just had to get through security.

By this point, it was nearly 6:30 p.m. The plane would be boarding soon and she would be on her way home. She looked over to Spike, who seemed okay, despite having been broken up with a few hours before. Buffy still felt extremely guilty about the whole thing. She’d all but managed to ruin his life in the few days that she had been there.

Then, she realized, she owed him something; the truth. She had yet to reveal the true reason that she had ended up in America with him, and though it would probably only make things worse, something inside of her was nagging at her to tell him the truth. She would be leaving soon, and might never see him again. It was now or never.

They stopped walking as they approached security.

“This is as far as I go,” Spike said gesturing with his hands.

“I have to tell you something.” She clasped her hands together and turned toward him.

“Okay,” he said, unsure of what she would say.

“I lied to you.”

Spike raised an eyebrow in question and cocked his head to the side as she talked.

“About the spell,” she continued. “It wasn’t supposed to send me to my ex vampire lover.” She took a breath. “It was supposed to send to the man who…loves me the most.”

“Oh.” He looked slightly stunned by what she had said.

“And imagine my surprise when I wake up with you instead of Angel.”

Spike snorted. “Guess Tall, Dark, and Forehead isn’t as great as you thought.”

“He still loves me, Spike. And I love him.”

Spike felt himself wince slightly at her words. Of course she loved him. She always had. And why should one little spell change any of that? So what if he loved her more than Angel? That just made him a winner at a losing game now, didn’t it?

“Flight 320 to London, now boarding,” came a voice over the loudspeaker.

Buffy’s eyes were on the floor. Why did this goodbye seem so hard?

“That’s you.”

Her eyes rose to meet his as she bit down on the inside of her cheek. “I guess it is.”

She made no initial attempt to move and Spike thought briefly about asking her if she really wanted to leave, but then she took a step back and looked over her shoulder.

“Something wrong, luv?” he asked.

“No, nothing. I just…I’m not a fan of airplanes.”

“So don’t go.”
----------------------

Buffy stared out the window of the plane and wished it would hurry up and take off. She half expected to see Spike at any minute; that he’d decided to come with her or to try to convince her to stay. But more so than that, she was afraid of what she might do if she had to sit here much longer.

“Are you alright?”

Buffy looked at the girl who had taken a seat beside her. She resembled the waitress from the diner, only with darker hair and no pigtails.

“Sorry, I know it’s none of my business, you just look like you’re about to be sick or something.”

“No, I’m fine. It’s just…have you ever been so sure about something? So sure that…that it was right? And then something else happens and makes you question everything?”

The girl gave her a strange look, having not expected that kind of answer.

“Sorry,” Buffy said, slightly embarrassed. “Forget that.”

“No, it’s cool. And to answer your question, yeah. I mean there’ve been some times when I’ve had to change my whole way of thinking. Sometimes what we think is right, isn’t.” The girl regretted her answer as soon as she saw the look on the blonde’s face. That apparently wasn’t what she had wanted to hear. “Do you wanna talk about it? They say it’s easier to tell your problems to a stranger.”

Buffy glanced warily at the girl. In normal circumstances, she probably would have kept her mouth shut. But today she felt a little like talking. And what would be better than to talk to an unbiased third party with absolutely no real interest in the matter?

“I’m getting married in two weeks.”

“That’s great. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Buffy looked down at her hands.

“Is that all? You’re nervous about getting married?”

The slayer shook her head. “No, I mean yes, but…” She looked back at the girl. “For the last few days, I’ve been with my ex-boyfriend.”

“Oh,” the girl said as if she knew where this was going.

“It doesn’t make sense. The guy I’m marrying is the love of my life. He’s the first person I ever loved and the one person I always thought I would spend the rest of my life with. And the other guy, well, we were never even really together. I wasn’t even sure that I loved him. But…” she took a deep breath, “I’m thinking about getting off the plane. Am I crazy? I have this great life. I have a job I love and a fiancé who’s like my soul mate…”

“And?”

“And I’m thinking about getting off of the plane.”

“And you think that makes you crazy? Honey, trust me, we all have moments like that. It doesn’t mean we’ve lost it. It just means that we’ve broadened our scope, if that makes any sense.”

“What should I do?”

The girl could tell she was serious. She really seemed to be torn.

“Well, ask yourself this. What is it that you really want?”
--------------------------

Buffy walked through the gate in the London airport. All around her people were meeting their loved ones with hugs and kisses. It gave her a bit of a sick feeling. She had managed to sleep little on the eight hour flight and felt less than fantastic. When she finally managed to clear the crowd of people, she saw her. She was waiting near the center aisle. As soon as the girl saw her, she walked quickly to where she was.

“Hey,” Dawn said, hugging her sister.

“Hey,” she replied.

“You’re back.”

“Yes I am.”

They started walking back through the airport.

“So, how did it go?” Dawn asked curiously.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Buffy said unconvincingly.

“You know exactly what I mean. Did you tell Spike the truth?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And nothing, Dawn. I told him about the spell and then I got on the plane.”

“You did not.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Buffy,” Dawn said disapprovingly. “You told him and then ran and jumped on a plane without giving him a chance to make a case for himself? Kinda cowardly, don’t you think?”

“I don’t want him to make a case for himself.”

“Are you sure about that?”