Of course his insistence in accompanying them brought about another argument. "No! What if we get caught? We may get into trouble, but they'd put you back in one of those cages. It's too dangerous!"

Buffy was standing in the middle of Giles' living room. Her friends were watching the argument with wide eyes. Giles with concern.

"Damn it, Slayer, I may not be able to fight humans, but that place has demons in it. What if they've made some of them into their little pet guard dogs? I can fight them. And I have better senses than you do. I could listen for and smell out danger. You need me on this mission!"

Buffy was terrified. She couldn't lose him. Not yet. She wasn't ready. But she knew he was right; he could be helpful to them. And the knowledge that he was right made her furious.

"Fine!" she yelled. "You want to come along? Get dusted? Well that's okay by me. Just means one less vampire I have to stake!"

Spike knew she was worried, but her words hurt him nonetheless. Did she still sometimes think about staking him? Face set in a cold mask he nodded. "Right then."

Swallowing nervously Willow informed them, "I got in contact with Jenny's coven okay. Jasper gave me several spells that should work on the security system and the computer hacking. I just need to get some supplies tomorrow and do a little preparation. I'll be all ready by Thanksgiving."

"Good," Buffy said. Then grabbing up her jacket she said, "I'm going out on patrol. I'll see you back at the dorm Will." Without a glance or a word to Spike she left.

He made no effort to follow her.

***

"So what do you think, Will? He want to go with us so that he can find a way to get his noggin fixed? Must be hard on him not being able to kill us all." Xander was driving Willow back to the dorm after Buffy had left for patrol. Spike had retreated into silence, an unusual enough state for the loquacious vampire that it made everybody uncomfortable.

"I don't think so, Xander. I mean, I don't think he'd turn down getting fixed, but I really think he wants to help Buffy." Hesitating she finally continued. "Do you think that maybe there's something going on between him and Buffy?"

Xander almost hit a parked car in reaction to her words. "What?! No! There is nothing between those two, except hate. Good old-fashioned Vampire Slayer, Evil Undead hate. That's it!"

Willow remained silent.

Xander had stopped at a traffic light and was now beating his head against the steering wheel. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," he repeated with each thump. "She's doing it again, isn't she? Falling for another vamp. And this one doesn't even have a soul...although that didn't work out too well anyway." Turning to Willow he added, "Jesus, Will, what the hell is she thinking?"

Willow sighed. "Maybe she's thinking that she'll never have a normal life and she may not live long so why not take what pleasure she can."

"Spike and pleasure?" Xander shuddered. "Thanks for the visual, Willow."

***

The next evening when it became evident that Buffy wasn't going to come by Giles' or call, Spike got up and walked out without saying a word. Giles looked at the closed door and knew he could no longer deny what he had long suspected. Spike and Buffy were involved. Getting up he went into the kitchen and poured a large Scotch.

***

Spike headed for the crypt. He had thought of going to The Bronze and getting drunk, but found himself headed to the cemetery instead. Entering, he walked to the couch he and Xander had carried in a few days ago. Xander had been jealous. "Man, this thing is better than the one I have. How'd you get so lucky?"

"Saw it out on the curb, asked the people if I could have it, they said yes," was the vampire's answer. It really was a nice couch. A little stained, a little worn, but it good shape.

Now Spike sat on it in the dark, thinking about how he had planned on getting a slipcover so that Buffy wouldn't have to sit on stained upholstery. Might as well not bother now.

Wallowing in self-pity he didn't even notice she was there until the door creaked open. Looking over, he saw her silhouette in the doorway and saw her tense as she looked around the crypt. "Spike?" came a soft query.

"Yeah, I'm here, Slayer," he answered.

"How come you're sitting in the dark?"

"Don't need light."

"Oh."

Closing the door, she made her way carefully through the darkened space until she came up to the couch. Feeling her way around, she sat down facing towards him. Neither of them spoke.

Buffy moved her hand towards him just as he moved his hand towards her. When they met, Spike grabbed it and held on as if for dear life. Buffy moved over closer to him, breath speeding up the nearer she came. Finally as she reached his side, she twisted her body and straddled his lap. Laying her head on his shoulder she whispered, "I don't want to lose you Spike."

Spike wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. Turning his head, he kissed the side of her neck. Buffy lifted her head seeking his mouth. Mouths open, tongues entwining, they kissed with the desperation of two people frightened for each other. Spike kissed her mouth, her cheeks, her chin, eyes, forehead. Back to her mouth, he began to move his hips, rubbing against her. Buffy pushed back and got off him. He started to reach out for her again when he heard the rustle of clothing being removed. Then her hands were on him and she was undoing his button, pulling down his zipper and freeing him. Her warm hands stroked him and he moaned and raised his hips bucking as she gently pumped him. Then she was back on his lap, straddling him once again and when he reached up for her, he found she was nude. Groaning, he moved his hands around to caress her breasts, pulled her up until her chest was level with his face and took a nipple into his mouth. Sucking it, he lowered his hand and slid it between her legs rubbing the heel of his hand against her clit while thrusting his fingers into her. When she started to whimper he placed his hands on her hips and guided her over him. She settled onto him, sliding down and taking his length into her. Releasing her nipple with one last pull, he kissed her mouth once again as he raised and lowered his hips in time with her movements. The action became more frantic as they neared their release and Spike was totally lost in the feel of Buffy. Loving her was all he knew. Being with her was all he wanted. And as they thrust harder and faster he spilled the words he had kept hidden for so long, "Love you, Buffy. Love you, love you, love you." And Buffy came.

***

They rested together. Spike wondered if he had made a mistake telling her how he felt. The realization that he loved her had come as a shock to him and he had denied it as long as he could, but he could no longer hide it. If he did die or get recaptured, he wanted her to know that she was more to him than just a shag. He wasn't sure how she felt about him. He knew that she still hoped that their affair would cool down, but he hoped that she felt more for him than just physical desire.

For her part, Buffy didn't know what to say. She should have been shocked and distressed to hear Spike's words, but in truth they had filled her with undeniable joy. Did that mean she loved him too? But she couldn't. He was a vampire. A soulless vampire. It was wrong.

And so in the end nothing was said. But nothing was forgotten.

***

When Spike finally returned to the townhouse, he was surprised to find Giles still awake seated at his table, a glass of Scotch before him.

"Shouldn't you be in your chaste little bed by now, Watcher?" Spike snarked at him. In response Giles looked coldly at the vampire and asked, "Where have you been, Spike?"

Spike raised one eyebrow and simply said, "Out."

"Answer me!"

Spike looked in surprise at Giles. For the first time since the factory, he saw a glimpse of Ripper. A warning tickle ran down his spine. Shrugging he answered casually, "Was at the crypt I'm fixin' up for the time I can finally move out of here."

"Was Buffy there with you?"

The warning tickle was stronger now. "Well, she stopped in after she finished her patrol. Why?"

Giles reached down and then laid a stake on the table in front of him. "If you value your life, Spike, I suggest that you end whatever personal association you and Buffy are having."

Spike stared first at the stake and then at Giles. "And if I don't? You stake me and tell Buffy what? You didn't approve of her choice of lovers so you killed him?"

"No, I tell Buffy that you left my house tonight and never returned."

Meeting Giles' eyes, Spike said quietly, "It's not your job to approve or disapprove of who Buffy's with. She's a woman now Rupert, not your little girl."

Giles eyes flashed again. "It's my job to help her destroy creatures such as yourself."

"Then you better get on with it, Giles, because I love the girl and I won't give her up. Not on your say-so anyway."

"You don't know the meaning of love," Giles spat.

"You'd be surprised just how wrong you are, Watcher," Spike answered calmly. Pointing towards the stake he added, "You can kill me; I can't stop you. But just remember, Buffy's preparing to face an unknown enemy. Do you really think my sudden disappearance wouldn't throw her off her game? She may not love me, Rupert, but she does care for me. She doesn't need worry for me interferin' with her concentration."

Giles glared at Spike and then said in a low threatening growl, "I swear by everything that's holy, Spike, you hurt her, you betray her, I'll kill you."

"Fair enough," was Spike's only reply.