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You Have to Love Her by Sandy
 
Chapter 19
 
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Joyce was surprised when she came downstairs Christmas morning to see a vampire asleep on her living room sofa. Going back upstairs, she knocked on Buffy's door and entered when she heard the sleepy, "Come in."

"Buffy,why is Spike asleep on the couch?" Joyce asked her tousled daughter. Buffy had known her mother would want to know why she had brought Spike home; she had just hoped she would let her sleep in first. Yawning deeply, Buffy moved over, patted the bed and proceeded to tell Joyce an edited version of what had happened last night.

"And so since he was hurt, I just felt better with having him here than in the crypt by himself," Buffy finished.

Joyce stared at her daughter taking in everything she had been told. "I have a feeling that you haven't told me everything, Buffy," Joyce stated. But then giving her daughter a gentle pat she added, "And I have the feeling I don't really want to know." Buffy just grinned in agreement.

"Well, get some more sleep. We can have Christmas breakfast when you get up." Buffy thanked her mother and then dropping back into her pillow immediately fell fast asleep.

***

Christmas Day 1999 was one of the best Buffy ever remembered. They had all eaten a late brunch (Joyce had taken to keeping a supply of fresh pig's blood on hand) and then proceeded to watch a never-ending marathon of Christmas movies. Spike had never seen "A Christmas Story" and laughed uproariously at the little boy's antics. He especially liked the part where Ralphie beat the snot out of Scut Farcus.

Joyce went out for a while to visit with some friends leaving vampire and Slayer alone, but for once the two behaved themselves only cuddling up on the couch together as they watched the movie. Spike's head and backside still hurt a bit, but he was improving as the day went on and figured he would be completely recovered by that evening.

The next day Buffy and Joyce joined the mob at the after-Christmas sales. When Spike learned what they had planned, he was glad he had the whole sun-allergy thing to fall back on. He would rather face a room full of crosses than Sunnydale Mall the day after Christmas. He knew his limitations.

Monday morning Joyce returned to work and Buffy headed over to Giles'. He had been extremely patient allowing Buffy both Saturday and Sunday before insisting that she fill them in on the Spike situation.

"Look, Giles, it's just like I told Xander," Buffy said forcefully. "Spike is not a programmed killerbot for the CIA. Riley and I got to him before that crazy doctor was able to finish with the programming."

"So you're saying that Spike is still unable to hurt human beings, Buffy?" Giles asked.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy said the words she had been dreading. But she knew that Giles and the others needed to know the truth. "Well yes and no."

"And that means?" Xander asked.

"It means that Spike can hurt humans, but he can't kill them."

"So you're saying that Spike can feed on humans again just as long as he doesn't kill them?" Giles exclaimed.

"No! I mean no, he wouldn't do that," Buffy insisted. "He knows I wouldn't allow him to feed on anyone, Giles. He won't do that."

Giles began to pace. "Buffy, your belief in his ability to be good is misplaced at best. For God's sake, how many times does he have to try to kill you before you realize that he's a vicious, murderous monster?!"

"Giles, he hasn't tried to kill me in two years! In fact he's saved my life more than once. Did you forget about the Gr'Racka demon he rescued me from? I'd have been tortured to death if it hadn't been for Spike!"

"Yes, Buffy, I remember that. I also remember that the next time you two met he almost drained all the blood from your body. Have you forgotten that?"

"He didn't almost... Damn it, Giles, you don't understand. That was a lesson he was teaching me about being overconfident and careless. Do you think for one minute that if he had really wanted me dead he wouldn't have finished the job? He had plenty of opportunities last year, but that wasn't what he wanted from me." Oops. Buffy's hand clamped over her mouth as the words escaped.

Giles stiffened, his eyes narrowed and he said in a deadly calm voice, "And just what exactly did he want from you Buffy?"

Willow and Xander had been following the argument as if they were at a tennis match, heads turning from one to the other, but now they too stiffened as the implication of Buffy's words sunk in.

"Oh. My. God." Xander moaned. "Cordelia was right, wasn't she? He wanted to get in your pants last year too, didn't he, Buff? Did he succeed?"

Buffy was aware of the disgust in Xander's voice, in her Watcher's face, the disappointment and worry in Willow's eyes. It was suddenly all too much for her. The past two days had been wonderful. She had spent Christmas with her boyfriend and mother and the day after shopping and laughing with her mother at the Sunnydale Mall and then laughing and loving with her boyfriend at his place. She had felt free and happy and relaxed, even when she had gone patrolling and fulfilled her duties as The Slayer.

And now her friends and her Watcher were looking at her as if she was some kind of slimy bug that had slithered into the house. She loved them and knew they were concerned for her and only wanted what they considered best for her, but Buffy finally realized that only she could decide what was best for her.

Standing up she said calmly, "What happened between me and Spike last year, what is happening between us now, is my business. I appreciate your concern, but I'd appreciate it more if you'd stop this interrogation now. Spike and I are together and you all will just have to deal with it. I don't know if this is the 'last till the end of time' kind of love, but for now he makes me happy.

"I'll talk to Spike about what the new programming to his chip means. I promise you that Spike will not feed from humans."

Picking up her jacket, she headed for the door. Stopping with her hand on the doorknob and turning her head slightly in their direction she added, "I suggest, by the way, that none of you try to take care of Spike yourselves. He can defend himself now." With that, she left with a quiet but firm closing of the door, her words echoing in the ears of her friends.

"Love?" Willow said weakly.

***

Spike was aware that Buffy was upset the minute she opened the door to his crypt. Putting down the glass of blood he had just filled, he went over to her, pulled her into his arms and gently rubbed his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion.

"What's wrong, pet? What's happened?"

Buffy clung to him for a minute, taking comfort from him. At last she pulled back, looked up at Spike and said, "I had to tell Giles about your chip."

"And?" Spike asked. By the look on his face he clearly didn't understand what the problem was.

"I had to tell him you could hurt people now. I told him you couldn't kill anyone, but you could hurt them."

"And what?" Spike laughed. "Did that great ponce think I was going to come over to his house and punch him in the nose or something? Wouldn't do that even if I do think he sometimes deserves it."

Buffy realized that Spike didn't comprehend what Giles had immediately deduced. "Spike," Buffy said, "Giles is afraid that you'll start feeding on people again. You'll feed without killing them, but still you'll feed."

Spike looked at her in surprise and then scrunched his forehead up thoughtfully. "Huh," he said. "Hadn't considered that. Guess I could if I wanted to. Be a nice change from the pig's blood." Then looking down into Buffy's worried face, he smiled and traced one finger down the side of her face. "'Course my girl would be pretty pissed off at me if I went around biting anonymous people," he said, "so guess I'll just have to stick to the pig's blood and an occasional Buffy bite."

Spike watched as the joy appeared on Buffy's face. Throwing her arms around him, Buffy pulled his head down and kissed him. Touching her forehead to his she whispered, "Have I told you yet that I love you?"

Spike swallowed and shook his head. Buffy smiled, kissed him again and then looked at him with all the love she felt shining from her eyes. "I do you know," she said softly.

Spike felt a joy such as he had never known at her words. All he had wanted his entire existence was to love and be loved. He had thought that he had found it with Drusilla, but he knew now that what they had shared had been a shadow of love. Now here with this tiny human girl, this girl whose entire mission in life was to destroy the likes of him, he had found that for which he had longed.

He knew that Buffy was destined for a short, violent life. He knew that even if she lived as long as a normal human, chances were that he would outlive her. But for today and maybe tomorrow and maybe the tomorrow after that, they had each other. Gathering her close into his arms once again he held her, silently promising his strength, his life, his loyalty, his love.

They would stand side-by-side facing all the monsters that the world could throw at them.

And he would never leave her.

The End
 
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