CHAPTER TWELVE


A/N: I have returned!! Sorry it took me so long. Enjoy...

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It was dark. Cold. Cramped. And she was stuck. She hit out with everything she had, but the dark walls around her wouldn’t budge. She let out a cry and tried again. She was shaking now, fear and desperation setting in. She had to get out but she didn’t know how. She let out a helpless whimper and kicked out again, as hard as she could. The jolt rippled through her leg, jarring her joints, and she let out a gasp.

“Please,” she begged with a tearful voice, “Please.”

She knew she couldn’t give up. She hit out again at the dark walls and again, nothing happened.

“Please!”

She screamed this time, her voice already hoarse, but the sound simply echoed around her. She was losing the energy to carry on, but she kept going, desperate to escape from this place. She smashed her hands against the wall only inches above her head.

“Please!” she sobbed.

“Buffy!”

She could hear a voice, a familiar voice. And then she was shaking – but not of her own accord.

“Buffy.”



With a gasp, she bolted awake, only to find Spike holding her arms tightly, shaking her. The nightmare still echoed in her mind and she couldn’t slow her breathing down.

“It’s alright,” Spike said quietly, worried eyes examining her.

She nodded, but her heart was still thumping and she had to swallow hard to fight back an onslaught of tears. This was not the first time she had had this nightmare, but it still left her shaken.

“It’s alright, love. It was just a nightmare.”

She nodded again, her lower lip trembling. Spike’s grip tightened on her arms and she gave him a despairing look before leaning forward and resting her head against his chest. He froze for a split second but then he was releasing her arms, only to envelop her in his strong embrace. She twisted her fingers in his T-shirt, holding onto him tightly as he wrapped his arms around her, one hand just resting on her hair.

“It’s alright,” he whispered, “I’m here. You’re alright.”

Despite his words, she couldn’t stop her body from trembling and she clung to him even tighter, relishing the feeling of his strength surrounding her. She felt safe in his arms, protected.

“Shh,” he murmured, his breath stirring her hair.

She left herself relax into his embrace and slowly, the trembling calmed, until it was only the occasional shudder.

“You wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head quickly.

“Okay, love.”



They stayed like that for several long minutes. She was surprised by just how comfortable she felt in his arms, by the warmth that spread through her and by the feeling of security he gave her. Finally, she raised her head, leaning back from him ever so slightly.

“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“I think so,” she said shakily, “I just…”

“I know.”

He lowered his hand and she felt a pang at the loss of his touch. She raised her hand and absentmindedly touched it to his cheek. His eyes widened at her action but that did not stop her from tracing her fingers over his jaw and touching them to his soft lips. He was absolutely still and as she met his gaze, she felt her heart start to race.

She knew exactly what she was doing, but there was no way she could stop herself: she leaned in, ever so slowly, and brushed her lips against his as she had done the night before. Except this time, she did not pull away again – and as soon as Spike realised this, she felt his lips move against hers. He was so gentle, so wary: every brush of his lips a test. Soon, she could bear it no longer and with a sigh, she moved her hand to the back of his neck, drawing him closer and increasing the pressure on his lips.



He reacted in an instant, his lips crushing against hers as his hand tangled in her hair, holding her close. She was overwhelmed by how right this felt, how natural. She slid her other arm around him and drew him closer – but suddenly, with gentle hands, he guided her away. She met his gaze with a look of bewilderment.

“Buffy,” he murmured, his voice low, husky.

He drew his fingers over her hair and she couldn’t help closing her eyes in pleasure. And then he was gone.

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes snapped open to find him standing across the room, his back turned to her, his hands braced against the wall.

“Huh?”

She was baffled by his words and his sudden distance. And even more baffled by how much she wanted to be back in his arms. This was Spike. A vampire, and even more dangerous to her now than he had ever been. But she was drawn to him. He made her feel safe, but most importantly, he made her feel special. Even though she was no longer the Slayer, he still loved her, still made her feel like she was his equal. Her long silence must have started to worry Spike because he turned to her now, watching her carefully.

“Buffy?”

“Hi,” she answered with a smile and he gave a smile in return, his relief evident.

“Are you- what-“

He was at a loss for words and she couldn’t help smiling at this unusual turn of events.

“I, erm, I guess I really should get home.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his eyes boring into her.

“Dawn will be worried and… well, I guess I might have some damage control to do.”

All of sudden, the events of last night came back to her and she frowned.

“A lot of damage control.”



In an instant, Spike was close again, his hand hovering like he might reach out and touch her.

“You did the right thing. They needed to know.”

“Maybe,” she agreed hesitantly, “I just… how am I going to face them now?”

“You can hide here as long as you like,” he started with a half smile, “But they might come after you at some point.”

She laughed, a brief image of her friends breaking down Spike’s door to get to her flitting through her mind.

“I guess it’s just something I have to get out of the way.”

She rose to her feet beside Spike slowly, feeling the electricity pulsing between them. She met his gaze and swallowed hard, fighting her desire to touch him, just once. It wouldn’t be such a good idea. She knew something pretty monumental had happened here – as much as they were ignoring it - and until she had had time to process it, she couldn’t be in his presence because the temptation was too strong. And Spike deserved more than that.

“So,” she spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper, “I’ll… I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.”

It took all her self-control to tear her eyes away from his and with a quick ‘goodbye’, she hurried out of his bedroom, out of his crypt, and into the sunshine.