Made by nmcil




Epilogue:








An employer at the Bow Bar cracked a smile when he noticed her standing in front of the pub. Buffy learned to return his smile instead of just dropping her gaze to her feet in embarrassment. She knew that if Spike came back, he'd head straight to her apartment, but she couldn't help it. Every time she was faced with a new obstacle, she would stand in front of the Bow Bar and pretend that Spike was coming out sooner or later. The working staff at the pub were used to her nightly shifts; some took it as sweet, some took it as pathetic, and some verbally showed their irritation at her standing there blocking the way for the customers. Buffy tried her best to stand away from the entrance, but she couldn't give up this habit, not when things were starting to get freakier than usual.

Something was coming; not that it shocked her, she was used to it now after years of fighting those upcoming somethings. Twilight, whatever that was, was definitely bad news. She needed all the information she could get, and only one person could provide the most satisfying amount.

Her chest swelled painfully as she remembered yesterday's phone call.

Giles chose Faith over her to do a mission for him. Giles chose Faith over her. Period. She knew they still had their differences, that they hadn't really mended their relationship since Sunnydale. Not to where it had been before. But Buffy still included Giles in her adventures. She sent him pictures of the Twilight symbol and warned him about the government's plan to de-power the Slayers and wipe them out. And before all that, she had sent Giles pictures of Andrea, called him to inform him that she had just given birth, that Dawn had gone to college, and that Xander had decided to start fresh as a normal father without being involved in the action.

After being teleported to her death, all she had wanted was to know what the hell was going on, but Giles didn't want her to be any part of it. He just shut her out.

And he never visited to meet Andrea.

She heaved a sigh and turned around to head home. The walk was quite long even when Buffy's brain was juggling many disappointing events together. Worst of all was Spike not being here. They hadn't called each other since his departure a week ago. Xander had comforted her that it was too soon for his return, but Buffy couldn't help the insecurity she felt. She still trusted Spike to come back, but what if Angel had a new shiny mission and needed Spike's assistance? Those two had developed a Blossom/Six friendship lately, so of course Spike would act champion and stay for however long that mission would take.

Buffy worked her key on the front door to the apartment and lazily pushed it open. The living room was quiet with a dim light left for her once she came back. She headed for her room, dragging her feet.

As she passed Xander's room, she could see through the door Xander and Renée, their lips locked in a kiss, arms wrapped around each other. A small smile formed on Buffy's lips; she'd caught them kissing in the living room yesterday when she'd walked into the apartment. It was only when she'd seen them embracing each other that she'd started to put two and two together. Renée's obsession with everything Xander liked, buying him new additions of watchamacallit comics and watching James Bond movies with him. She'd been attracted to him all along, and now so was Xander.

Buffy was happy for Xander, and hoped this time it would work for him. It probably would, now that he was leading a normal life.

Andrea was obviously in her room because the door was left open so that Xander could hear Andrea when she woke up. Buffy shrugged off her coat on the way inside her room and was about to throw it on the bed.

She didn't, though.

Her coat hung from her frozen hand while her eyes struck out at the sight in front of her. Her daughter's crib was next to her bed and a white hand held the edge of the crib, connected to an arm covered with clad black leather.

Spike turned around and smiled at her.

Her eyes softened and her smile blossomed. She gently closed the door behind her and walked to him. He stood up, hands in pockets, smiling down at her in silence. She drank in his features, looking just like she remembered. There were so many things she wanted to do; hug him, kiss him, hold on to him as tight as possible so he wouldn't go away.

Instead, she climbed onto the bed and lay down in the middle, patting the spot next to her. He kicked off his boots and crawled to her. She rested her head on his shoulder as he hugged her to him, feeling the warmth she couldn't find with Xander. It was a different type of warmth. The right warmth.

She wondered, though, if she had the right to feel this happy and content. Spike had been ready for commitment years ago; he was ready to be devoted to her full time. She wasn't. She'd denied her feelings for him and then when he came back with his soul it became too complicated. She loved him, really did, but the thing between her and Spike was very new and there had been the First to deal with. She didn't have the time to process how things were with Spike, where they would go and what he was to her. Spike understood that, apparently. Maybe that was why he didn't tell her he was back, because he wanted her to live her life until she was ready for something serious. Until she was old enough and, well, baked.

He deserved someone who could fully devote herself to him. Someone who was not her during that time, but was she now ready to get serious with Spike? The strange feeling of concern, that hate she used to have for herself sometimes, for the world and for life itself, always stood in the way. So many days when she had enough of everything and blew all chances she would have with Spike, getting away from him. Then there would come a day when she looked around seeking his shoulder to lay her weary head on and couldn't find him.

Buffy snuggled closer to him, this time never attempting to let go. She was ready, she knew. She knew it just as they lay side by side. It felt like a dream, a dream that looked so real. She looked up at him and he looked back. She smiled at him and he smiled back. Lowering her gaze, she felt sleep creep over her. But she didn't want to sleep, afraid to close her eyes and then open them to find this being just a dream. She had waited so long. Two years were so long.

She caught the sight of the duffle bag sitting on the floor by her dresser. She hadn't noticed it when getting in, too shocked by finding Spike sitting on her bed. She smiled and closed her eyelids in contentment. Spike was back and he was going to stay. That blue duffle bag said as much.









Her eyes snapped open at the sound of an electric razor. Xander was probably in the bathroom shaving before going to work. Her breath caught in her throat; quickly she turned to her right. Spike was there, soundlessly asleep. Buffy's heart soared and a smile started to grow until it was a grin. He was here. He was right here. He wasn't a dream. Her happy eyes checked the duffle bag that was still next to the dresser.

She brought her gaze to the ceiling, resting her head back on the pillow to get comfortable. Her breath was even, her body was relaxed, and her emotions were content; she hadn't felt like this in years now. Somehow, it felt weird, and left her tense and uncomfortable. She wasn't used to this feeling; she'd always been on edge, waiting for the next blow, planning the next strategy, leading her Slayers, and thinking of Andrea's future. Her life, filled with worry, was a series of never ending twists and turns, so painful and wearying. She couldn't just rest, there was no such thing as that in her life. She was meant to drown in the pain, believing it was all her future contained.

Her eyelids slipped shut, and she willed herself into the earlier feeling of relaxation. Spreading her arms, her toes dangling to the sides, she stopped thinking and let herself flow freely into the peaceful silence.

"You're awake?"

Buffy opened her eyes and turned her head to face Spike, unable to stop herself from smiling while looking at his half-opened eyelids.

"I am," she whispered, thinking any higher pitch would ruin the serenity surrounding the room.

He twisted his elbow and used his arm as a pillow, just staring at her.

"So, you're here," she said.

"Yeah."

She wasn't sure what to say next, and apparently he wasn't either. There wasn't really that much to say. All she wanted to do was stare at him for hours, making sure that he was really here by her side, and not leaving again. But then she began to ruminate over the million questions running through her head. She wondered about how things were going to go from here, how Spike would fit into her life in Scotland, what role he would play in Andrea's life, and whether he and Xander would learn to get along.

Suddenly, a small smile played on Spike's lips; he looked so at ease, so glad, so content. She was caught by the twinkle of happiness in his eyes, making her heart thump fast. The questions could be dealt with some other time; right now all she wanted to do was rest. Not think about anything but the fact that Spike was here. All she wanted to do now was stare at his face, drink in his handsome features, and just be happy.

Her fingers fluttered slightly as her hand moved toward his, and then a smile of her own rose to her lips when Spike's hand met hers midway. They clasped their fingers together tightly. Nostalgia flooded her mind, feeling the fire bursting between their hands, and her heartbeat sped up.

A mixture of emotions simmered in his eyes, his breath ragged. "Say it again," he said in a hoarse voice.

She swallowed low in her throat. "I love you." The whisper slipped out of her mouth easily, all bounds and barriers broken.

His lips formed a sexy lopsided smile. "Well, who doesn’t?" he said softly, pulling on her hand, bringing her closer. As she shifted closer to him, she couldn't resist anymore. She leaned forward, eyelids falling shut, wanting to capture his lips in a kiss.

She didn't.

The loud wailing coming from the crib stopped her at once. She let out a laugh at Spike's confused blinking. Pushing herself into sitting position, she nodded at the crib. "Gotta get used to this."

He twisted his lips in displeasure, making her laugh even more. She jumped out of the bed, grinning as she peered at her daughter, whose weeps increased, demanding to be fed and changed. Buffy lifted her up, cradling her in her arms, holding her close to her chest. She brought a finger to the wide-open mouth, and Andrea started sucking on it, her eyes focusing entirely on Buffy.

She glanced at Spike. The displeasure on his face was replaced with affection, and she bit on her lower lip, overtaken by the same weird feeling. Her stomach fluttered and little glitters of exhilaration were swirling around her. Things were going to be different. The life she had known had taken a new turn, one that made her excited. This was a start of a new chapter in her relationship with Spike; one she'd never considered happening before.

She smiled again, couldn't stop herself from smiling, and he smiled, too. They might be different people now – strangers - but she didn't mind getting to know him all over again.






The End