Chapter 9

This was just a bad dream. She would wake up, and William would still be her sweet, caring boyfriend. He wasn’t a vampire. That just couldn’t be possible, except she knew it was. She saw it with her own eyes, but vampire or not, there was no way he could have healed that fast. Something more was going on, and Buffy knew that she had to talk to him if she was going to get any answers. What would she even say to him? How could he have kept this from her all this time? Was it part of a bigger plan? To get her to trust him, so she wouldn’t see it coming when he finally decided to kill her? No, that didn’t sound right. He had plenty of opportunities, and never once took them. Plus, she saw him in the sunlight, and never got any vamp tinglies when he was near. Except for the first time she walked in the library, but the feeling only lasted for a second. What the hell was going on?


* * * * *


William finished his third bottle of Whiskey, needing something to dull the pain, but it wasn’t having much of an effect. He should have just told her the truth from the start, keeping it for this long was a huge mistake. She would never trust him now, but he only had himself to blame. William got up when a knock sounded on his door, wondering who could possibly be bothering him at this time. He was stunned to find Buffy on the other side, looking closely to see if she had any stakes on her, but before he could ask, she strolled into his apartment. William let out a sigh, closing the door behind her. It was best to just get this over with.

“I want to know what game you’re playing at. Was this all a trick? Get me to feel for you, only to turn on me when I least expect it?”

He shook his head. “No, of course not, everything we feel for each other is real. I wanted to tell you so many times, Buffy, but I didn’t know how. I never meant for you to find out like that, but you have to understand that I didn’t mean to hurt you. That is the last thing I wanted. Please, just let me explain, and if you want nothing to do with me after that, I will respect your wishes.”

She nodded, sitting down on his couch. “All right, let’s hear it.”

William sat beside her, putting enough space between them. “I did used to be a Watcher, but that was in the late 1800’s, everything else I told you was true. About Aria, how I felt for her, but I left out one important detail. When Angelus killed her, I didn’t walk away from our fight alive. I told you he left me there, but that wasn’t exactly his style.”

“He turned you,” Buffy finished, it wasn’t a question.

“Yes, he did it for Drusilla. She needed a companion, and for some reason, she wanted me. He knew the only way to get to me was to kill my charge first. I was disoriented when I came to, had to dig myself out of my own grave. I won’t lie to you, love, I was a monster for the first twenty years I was made vampire. I killed, tortured, nothing as bad as Angelus, but it was enough. I became known as Spike…”

She jerked away from him, her eyes widening. “You got your name from jamming railroad spikes in your victims’ heads.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I see you’ve done your research.”

“I read about you. Of course, I didn’t know it was you at the time. The things you’ve done…”

“I’m not that demon anymore, pet, haven’t been for over a hundred years,” he explained.

“So, what happened? Why did you change?”

William took in a deep, unneeded breath, continuing with his story. “This is the part you won’t find in any book. Angelus brought me a girl one night, said it was a peace offering; we got into a nasty brawl before that. I knew something didn’t feel right, so I rejected his offer. He didn’t take too kindly to that, and killed the girl right in front of me, completely draining her. He left me with the body and went to clean up, that was when her clan barged in and caught me with her. She was a gypsy, the most favorite of her kind. I ran off, and they decided to curse me for her death, one that Angelus had no trouble framing me for. He knew all along how important she was to her people. To make a long story short, I woke up with my soul restored, every death I caused, everyone who suffered because of me, I felt it all. It was the most intense pain of my entire existence. Obviously, going back to Angelus and the others was no longer an option after that. I started off on my own, but I had no idea what to do. I knew I needed a purpose; I couldn’t spend all my time living in the sewers chasing rats. The Council knew of what happened to me, so I was likely not welcome around them anymore, and I knew no Slayer would have me. I met Giles in London about ten years ago; he was recently cut loose from the Council as well. He knew of me, but he was never afraid. He didn’t see my past; all he saw was that I was trying to do good now. We kept in touch for a while, and when he met you, for some reason he thought we would be good for each other. You needed a Watcher, and he finally gave me my purpose.”

Buffy shook her head, trying to take everything in, but something still didn’t make sense to her. “Does having a soul give you the ability to go out in the sun? I’ve touched you, and you’re so warm. I never got any vamp vibes from you at all, how is that possible?”

He held his hand up, showing her the ring that he always had on him. “It’s called the Gem of Amara, makes the wearer invincible, and for vampires, able to go out during the day.”

Okay, not a family heirloom, just something else he lied about. “I guess that would explain why you healed so fast.”

“I know this is a lot to process, Buffy, but I really only am here to help you. All I care about is keeping you alive, for your seventeenth birthday, and many more beyond that. I know you have every reason to hate me, but the way I feel for you, it’s like nothing I’ve ever known before, not even for Aria.”

Buffy didn’t know why, but she believed him. “What about Drusilla? You said that Angelus made you for her. What happened between you two?”

“We slept together a couple of times when I was newly turned, but that was about it, feelings were never involved. She was a bit too insane for my liking, and I never could understand any of her bloody riddles. Besides, it was always Angelus that she wanted, no one else could compare.”

Buffy sighed in relief. “So, if I staked her, because you know I have to, you won’t hate me for it?”

“Bloody hell, no, I would gladly hand you the stake. I want them all gone, Buffy. Don’t think for one second that they mean anything to me, you’re the only one I care about.”

Buffy nodded, standing up after a moment. “I need some time to think about all of this. I do believe you, but it’s a lot to take in right now.”

He stood up as well. “I understand. You just take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

Buffy moved closer to him, giving him a peck on the cheek, and then walking out of the apartment. She had a lot of thinking to do.