“So when did Spike join the tweed-brigade?”
 
Buffy mockingly asked Giles, who sat with her on the couch.  After their initial shock of seeing Spike in the sun sans flameage, Giles led him inside, where Spike immediately excused himself and headed off to the bathroom.  He’d been there ever since.  In his absence, Buffy informed Giles of the previous evening’s events, minus her lusty reactions.    
 
“I’ll have you know, Buffy, I had no hand in choosing his attire.  I only offered him a change of clothing.”
 
“Uh-huh.  So he just naturally gravitated toward the Watcher-section of your wardrobe?  Wait, never mind, that’s your entire wardrobe.”
 
“Buffy, while I find your fashion views quite enlightening, we have far more pressing issues to discuss.”  Giles fixed Buffy with a serious look.
 
“Pressing issues like teaching him the wondrous workings of a zipper?”
 
“Thankfully he was a quick study, and I only needed to show him once…”  Buffy’s meticulously shaped brow rose along with her smile, forcing Giles to add, “on a spare pair of trousers, mind you.”
 
“That’s too bad.  I would’ve loved seeing you play Dapper Dan with him.  But yeah, you’re right.  We have bigger fish to fry.  Like how can … what should we call him … Spike or William—maybe Spilliam?  Anyway, whatever his name is, how can he go from a total sun allergy to needing major SPF 60?”
 
“I am in absolute agreement, Buffy.  I find this all quite intriguing.  However, I do not recall anywhere in the Watcher’s Diaries a spell rendering a vampire completely impervious to sunlight.”  Giles stood and headed over to his wall-length library.
 
Buffy watched him eyeing and eventually pulled out one from many of the Watcher’s Diaries lining the shelf.  He opened the dusty tome and carefully turned the pages, after giving each a cursory scan.  While he searched for the answer in his book, Buffy searched her memories.  Then, like a lighting-bolt, it struck her.
 
“I do, Giles.  But it wasn’t a spell.  It was the Gem of Amara.  I don’t know how he got it away from Angel, but—“
 
Without another word, Buffy stood and rushed down the hallway with Giles on her heels. Stopping abruptly in front of the closed bathroom door, Buffy motioned to Giles with her eyes to knock.  After a resigned headshake, he rapped twice against the wood.
 
“Um, Sp—William?  Are you all right?”
 
When no answer came from the other side, Buffy mouthed to Giles, “Go ahead.” He retorted with a mimic-mouthed, “You.”  She rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance, before announcing a warning while turning the knob.
 
“Look, we’re coming in!  You have all about two seconds to get decent, and then—“
 
Buffy entered with Giles following closely behind.  She quickly scanned the room and noticed Spike standing facing the mirror with his hands clenched in a death-grip on either side of the sink.
 
Giles and Buffy cautiously moved behind him.  Both of their eyes widened almost comically when they spied what he was seeing—his reflection. 
 
“This is all very confusing.  I cannot fathom what possessed me to alter my appearance so drastically.”  His voice wobbled while his gaze never left the mirror.
 
Deciding avoidance was the best option, Giles put his arm around William’s shoulder and gradually led him out of the bathroom.  Along the way, he invited William to join them for breakfast.
 
William, which Buffy was resigned to call him, sat silently in the living room while she and Giles prepared breakfast.  Well, she didn’t cook exactly, but this gave them time away to discuss what was going on.
 
“Giles, this is getting really weird.  And for me to say things are weird, they have to be uber bizarre.”  Buffy placed another round of bread into the toaster, since she burned the first ones.
 
“I have to agree, Buffy.  While I was leading William into the living room, I noticed he was breathing quite heavily—“
 
“Spike always has that weird breathing thing going on,” Buffy interjected.
 
“Does this include him perspiring as well?” Giles briefly stopped slicing tomatoes to give Buffy a pointed look.
 
“He’s sweating?” Buffy startled slightly when the toaster popped up two more burned pieces.
 
“Yes, quite profusely, actually. I noticed this when I was guiding him into the living room.  Based on this and everything else we have witnessed, suffice to say I believe William, or Spike if you will, is human.” Giles cracked two eggs into the frying pan next to several sizzling links of sausage.
 
“Human?  Then how do you explain vamp William last night?”  Buffy tried scraping the charred layer off the bread before she resigned to throw them away and start again.
 
“I can’t, not at this moment.  It requires more research.”  Giles turned toward Buffy who was reaching into the sleeve of the bread package, pulling out two more pieces.
 
“Well, after breakfast you need to whip out the oldie moldies, and I’ll call in the troops.  We all have a fun-filled afternoon ahead of us,” Buffy grumbled, as she lowered the lever on the toaster.
 
When Giles was done cooking, Buffy helped with plating and serving.  William took his plate from her with a soft, “Thank you, Miss Buffy.”
 
While they ate, silence soon gave away to conversation.  As the Englishmen sat on the couch enjoying a traditional meal of fried eggs and tomatoes, sausages, toast, and tea, Buffy sat on an adjacent chair, nibbling on a piece of toast Giles had thankfully made.
 
She was totally engrossed watching their interaction.  They acted like two old friends instead of a Watcher and a former Master vampire.
 
“Mister Giles, earlier you informed me we are in the year of our Lord, two thousand.  This is one hundred and twenty-one years from the last memory I can recall.  I find this rather amazing.  Even though Mother frowned upon the literary works on time travel, I continued indulging my interest privately—”
 
What else did he do privately?  Did it involve taming the beast hiding behind his zipper?
 
Buffy’s inner-slut questioned with a lusty whisper.  Quickly, Buffy subdued Miss Slutty Von Slut with a sharp disciplinary scolding courtesy of her super-ego and tried to focus on the on-going conversation happening outside of her head.
 
“There are many stories, both fictional and fairytale alike giving numerous views as to how time travel could be achieved.  For example, Walter Map’s De Nugis Curialium,in the first section “Distinctio prima,” Briton King Herla was transported with his hunting party over two centuries into the future by the enchantment of a mysterious pygmy. There is also Johan Herman Wessel’s novel Anno 7603 when the two main characters are transported into the future by a good fairy.  Oh, and clearly we cannot forget the American author Washington Irving’s interpretation in “Rip Van Winkle.”  However, I cannot directly relate to Mister Van Winkle personally, since I have not fallen victim to sloth, nor do I partake in spirits to the point of inebriation.”
 
Even though Buffy couldn’t follow his words after “time travel,” she found it kinda cute how excitable, well—in a stuffy British way, he was when talking about these books.  Also, she almost lost it when she thought he said he had never been drunk.  Now that was funny!
 
After William ended his lecture, he removed his glasses, pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket, and began cleaning the lens with gentle sweeps of the cloth.
 
When she looked over to Giles, who appeared to be equally taken aback by the fountain of knowledge that was William, she watched him doing the same.
 
Giles only stopped his habitual lens cleaning when he noticed Buffy’s amusement evident in her smile and raised eyebrow.  Giles instantly stopped, donned his glasses, and returned his gaze to William.
 
“Ah, yes, William, I see you are well read.  You would be a tremendous addition in our research in finding an explanation as to how you came to be here.”
 
“Mister Giles, I would be honored to help in anyway I can.  Especially with all the kindness you and Miss Buffy have bestowed upon me.”
 
Buffy knew Giles was only lying to William to buy them time to figure out how Toth wiped away all of Spike’s memories, leaving only William’s behind, and why he was human by day and a vampire by night.
 
After they finished breakfast and cleaned up, the trio started in on what would most likely prove a very long day of research.  Giles handed William a stack of books and instructed him to research time travel.  Buffy knew it was a wild goose chase, but they needed time, and William would only follow along blindly for so long.
 
Two hours later, Willow came over after classes wearing a big smile and bearing a dozen donuts.  At first, William seemed slightly wary of this new “preserve-filled pastry.”  It didn’t take very long before he and Giles were bickering over the last jelly, and she and Willow feared bloodshed might ensue.

Thankfully, this was when Xander and Anya arrived with more food.  Xander skillfully carried the pizza box and numerous bags of snacks, since Anya still had her injured arm in a sling.  As they entered, both were still engrossed in an earlier conversation.

 “—Xander, Buffy doesn’t realize she’s preventing our monetary gains by telling us we have to be here before sundown.  Not all of us can live off our parents’ money.  Your parents are drunks and mine have been dead for over a thousand years.  I don’t see why she just can’t tie up Spike while they’re figuring out what’s going on.  It’s not like she hasn’t tied him up before and—“
 
“Ahn, please, don’t use Buffy and Spike, and tied up all in the same sentence.  It’s totally creating a mental picture I so don’t want to have.”
 
 Even though the couple continued as if they weren’t standing in the middle of Giles’ apartment, it took Giles clearing his throat loudly for them to finally recognize they weren’t alone.
 
Xander startled slightly, then guiltily turned toward everyone staring at them.  Trying his best to push past the embarrassing conversation quickly, Xander held up the food and put on his best “I’m sorry about Anya” look.

“Hey…pizza and snacks anyone?”
 
While Giles and William took a mini-break from researching to eat pizza and discuss the evolution of Western cuisine, Buffy and the Scoobies ate in the kitchen.  Buffy took this opportunity to recap what happened last night—minus the dirty details—and what had taken place during the day.
 
“So Toth’s blast made Spike a real boy during the day.  Who woulda thunk when he re-joined the land of the living he’d become Watcher Jr.,” Xander murmured around the rapidly disappearing slice.
 
“Sorry Xander.  That joke has been all played out,” Buffy smirked, as she pulled two slices from the box to guarantee she had some before Xander made quick work of the whole pie.
 
“Rats!  See that’s another reason why being an adult sucks!  I missed out on poking fun at Mister Memory-Wipe!”
 
“Well, despite his notoriously poor choices in dress, I, for one, still find Spike ruggedly handsome and totally multiple-orgasm worthy.  Also, seeing him and Giles sitting there, I stand firm behind my belief they resemble one another, so much so that they could pass for father and son,” Anya commented nonchalantly as she picked pepperonis off her pizza and casually popped them into her mouth.
 
The entire group stared at Anya slack-jawed, while she continued munching on her pizza and eyeing the men seated on the couch, completely oblivious to their shock.
 
“Okay, that’s disturbing on so many levels I can’t even start to comment, so I won’t.”  Buffy dropped her slice on the paper plate and headed over to the fridge.
 
Buffy needed a breather to get away from the conversation, especially the Spike and multiple-orgasm part.  Who was she kidding?  Anya didn’t have to say anything.  Buffy’s thoughts had been down that road of badness a dozen times over.
 
No matter how many pages of moldy, hundred-year-old books Buffy read, she couldn’t stop thinking about Spike’s tongue and what lay behind William’s zipper.  Even though it was strange thinking about them as separate people, her mind did it anyway.  The danger of admitting William and Spike were one and the same would definitely cause her mind to go into total sexual overload.  
 
Buffy kept her head in the fridge attempting to cool down until she heard Giles declaring a “Eureka!” moment.   Reluctantly, she extracted her head and headed over to the living room, her gaze purposefully avoiding William.   
 
“So what’s up, Doc?”  Buffy joked, trying to appear calmer than she felt.
 
“I’ve found several passages referring to transmogrification spells.  As far as I can translate, those unfortunate enough to have this spell cast upon them are transformed into a creature designated by the spell-caster.  In addition, the caster decides when, for example during a lunar cycle, these transformations take place.”
 
“Like a…werewolf?” Willow meekly asked, her voice wavering slightly.  Buffy knew Oz was still a very sensitive subject for her.  She was glad when Giles launched back into lecture mode, quickly breaking the tension.
 
“Not exactly, Willow.  Werewolves are created when a werewolf infects a human, either through a bite or scratch.  Such a human, if he or she survives, is for a lack of a better term, permanently cursed.  However, transmogrification is temporary, and once the spell is broken, the person is returned to his or her natural state.”
 
“Oh!  This is kinda like that movie Lady Hawk with that guy who’s in love with that woman, and he changes into a wolf during the day and turns back into a human at night.  But in our case it’s reversed, and the spell was done by Leather-face instead of a priest-guy,” Xander muttered, through pieces of partially chewed chips.
 
“He was a bishop, and thank you Xander for reducing my hours of researching and translating into a dreadful 80’s movie.”  Giles slammed shut the book, creating a small puff of dust.
 
“No prob!  I’m always here to help.  Just think of me as the translator for those who were born in this century.”  Xander smiled, plunging his hand back into the bag of chips.
 
“Okay, so where does this leave William?” Willow asked her voice filled with concern.
 
“Unfortunately, transmogrification doesn’t explain the amnesia or how Toth’s spell drastically altered his natural state.”  Giles stood and returned to the bookshelf.
 
“Excuse me, Mister Giles.  I am quite confused.  We discussed time travel and many other topics at great lengths.  However, I do not recall transmogrification or amnesia in the slightest.  If I might be so bold, I feel I have been quite trusting with your judgments thus far, yet I sense there are underlying topics of private discussion transpiring among all of you right under my very nose.  Since this involves my very person, I demand to know.”
 
Buffy heard William’s usually calm voice dissolving until agitation clearly had taken over.  He sounded determined to find out what was really going on. 
 
Looking over to Giles, Buffy hoped he would answer William.  The silence dragged on for several tense moments until Anya decided to take over.
 
“You gotta be kidding me!  Forget about time travel and transmogrification.  He needs to know he’s an amnesiac, century-old vampire, for Odin’s sakes!”
 
 

 
 
Author’s Notes:

Please take a moment to let me know what you think.  One minute on your part makes my entire day!!!

Big thanks to my lovely betas: Sanityfair and Diebirchen.  LOVE YOU LADIES!!!
 
I had a Dressy Bessy doll when I was little. Absolutely loved her!  Her brother was called Dapper Dan.  These dolls helped kids learn how to dress by teaching them how to work zippers, buttons, and the like.  http://modmom.blogspot.com/2008/07/dressy-bessy-dapper-dan-playskool-ad.html
 
During William’s discussion he listed several books or parts of books referring to time-travel:
 
·        De Nugis Curialium, section “Distinctio prima,” 12th century: 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_nugis_curialium
 
·        Johan Herman Wessel, 1781, Anno 7603:
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johan_Herman_Wessel
 
·        Washington Irving, 1819, Rip Van Winkle— a short story that is part of The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon:
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rip_Van_Winkle
 
Lady Hawk is a movie from 1985 with Matthew Broderick and Michelle Pfiffer.  A synopsis: a forbidden love between two people.  An evil priest cast a spell so they could never be together, since during the day the woman was a hawk and the man was human.  At night he became a wolf, and she was human.  The only time they could be together as humans was during the few moments at dusk and dawn.  It’s kinda cheesy, that’s why I thought Xander would be the one to bring it up!  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089457/
 
Odin is a major god in Norse mythology.  Since Aud/Anya was from Sweden, I thought I should go with him.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odin