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Time after Time by BuffyMeetsSpike
 
Judgment Day
 
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Disclaimer: Not my characters, just borrowing them from Joss Wheadon. Thanks again to Sanity Fair, Beta Most Revered.

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Chapter 23 – Judgment Day

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Buffy pulled into a parking space on a side street near the main post office and slowly, deliberately turned off the car. She sat there for a few minutes, trying to center herself. After an uneventful drive she had arrived in L.A. and gone straight to the costume shop where she had rented the Victorian era dress. It lay in a plain cardboard box next to her, done up with string to make it easier to carry. She stared at it, chewing her lip thoughtfully. This is it then. She got out of the car and went around to the trunk, extracting the carpetbag. She pulled a single folded sheet of paper out of the notebook and left it on the passenger seat after she picked up the box. After another minute of thought she put the car keys under the sheet of paper where they would be concealed from casual passers-by and locked the door. She wasn’t coming back here.
 
Squaring her shoulders, she walked to the post office, ducking down the side alley where the small entrance to the gateway was. She maneuvered her burdens down the narrow stairs until she reached the doorway and the sacred pyre beyond. She removed the pouch of sacred dust and sprinkled it on the flames, once more chanting the incantation, “I come before the Oracles for guidance and direction. I beseech access to the knowing ones.” After a moment or two, the wall shimmered as before, and the luminous Oracles stood before her.
 
“Come before us, lower being. What have you brought us?”
 
Buffy removed a turquoise necklace from around her neck and offered it to the woman. “I bring you…”
 
“That is not what we desire,” the man interrupted, his voice stern as ever. “We will grant you your audience in exchange for what is most precious in that bag of yours.”
 
“Most precious?” Buffy crinkled her brows, wondering for a moment what he could be referring to. There were various bits of gold jewelry, but nothing spectacular. The diamond earrings? What could they want? But then perhaps due to a bit of mental nudging from the Oracles, the idea dawned on her. She bent down and opened the bag, and with slightly shaky hands she brought forth the picture of her mom and Dawn from its hiding place. She looked for a long moment at the faces of the two people most dear to her, faces she would never see again before reluctantly extending it to the black haired woman before her.
 
The female Oracle took it from her and tucked it into a fold of her robe. “It is acceptable. What do you want, lower being?”
 
With a swallow Buffy said, “I wish to be sent back in time, to find my mate. I would like to be sent to London in 1880.” Cold sweat ran down her back as her stomach flip-flopped with nervousness.
 
“You wish to leave all your friends and your life behind in order to attempt to pursue the man William Pratt?” The male Oracle’s voice dripped with contempt for this lower life form.
 
“Yes.” Buffy felt that elaborating probably wasn’t going to help her situation. Either they were going to do it or not – They held the power.
 
The female Oracle approached her, looking at her as if she was some sort of curious insect. “What if we offered you a different choice? What if we were to restore your mother and sister to you?” She held up the photo and Buffy was suddenly reminded of Adam and Eve and the serpent.
 
She shook her head. “They’re at rest. I am sure they are in Heaven. I know my mother was there. I can’t see how my sister would be anywhere else. I couldn’t do that to them – to pull them away from that like I was pulled away.” Her heart ached to say the words. To have her mother back would be indescribably wonderful, and if she had been asked that question in the months after her mother’s death she would have said yes unreservedly. But now that she had been to Heaven and back she knew better, and wouldn’t make them suffer to ease her pain.
 
The man now stepped closer, looking down his aquiline nose at her. “We can send you back in time to your mate. But you will need to understand the consequences.”
 
“Consequences?” Buffy’s heart leaped in her chest. They’re going to send me back! At the same time, she was wary of what the capricious duo was going to propose.
 
“If we send you back in time, your friends will most likely suffer. It is likely that some of them will be killed, and their relationships will suffer.”
 
Buffy’s heart sank again. “And if I stay?”
 
“If you stay in this timeline, it will be less likely that they suffer major cataclysms. They will all most likely live to old age in as much contentment as your race is capable of.” His piercing eyes widened as he looked straight through her. “Is your happiness more important than theirs?”
 
“No. No it isn’t,” Buffy whispered. She ached for Spike. To live with no hope of ever seeing him again was hell. But could she live with him knowing she had left suffering and death in her wake? Giles and Jenny were so happy, and Anya and Xander were about to become parents. Could she go on with her life, never knowing what had happened to them, never knowing what horrors they had suffered because of her? It wasn’t in her nature, and she couldn’t do it. Not even for Spike.
 
“Then I am afraid we cannot do that which you ask,” said the man coldly. “Leave our presence now.” He turned his back on her and strode away, his sister trailing behind him. Buffy stared after them, her eyes full of loss and utter, complete despair. Regardless of what differences she might have with her friends, she couldn’t bring herself to risk their lives for her benefit. I’m sorry Spike. I’m so sorry. I can’t do it. Please forgive me. If there’s a God out there please take care of him for me, please.
 
“You do not plan to live, do you?” Buffy looked up and found that the female Oracle had turned back, still looking at her as if she found her fascinating. “Your thoughts are for the others, and the one you love, but you do not want to live. You will die rather than live without your mate.”
 
“Yes,” she sobbed. “I don’t want my friends to suffer, I don’t. But I just… I just don’t belong here anymore. To have Spike in my memory but to have no hope that I’ll ever see him? It’s too much. Just too much.”
 
The female looked to her brother, who had turned back as well. They stared at each other in silence, but communication was obviously occurring. Finally the woman spoke to Buffy once more. “You would give up your own happiness and peace of mind so that others would live. You do not ask for us to manipulate the man William for you, but only to allow you the chance to find him. You are moved by love, not by greed or the need to control. Your motives are worthy. We shall grant your request.”
 
Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she shook her head slowly, not certain she had heard the Oracle. “What?”
 
The man made a tsk noise and looked at her as if she was very slow on the uptake. “We will send you to your William’s time and place. This timeline will remain as it is, your friends unaffected, unless it is by your absence.”
 
“But you said…” Buffy still couldn’t believe what she had just heard.
 
“We needed to know your reasons,” the female said. “We do not bend time lightly. But you have toiled to be a force for good. For this you are to be rewarded.”
 
Buffy’s face broke into a smile of utter joy. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
 
“You can’t,” said the man curtly. With a mix of excitement and fear, Buffy picked up her carpetbag and her dress box. “Are you prepared?” She nodded and took a deep breath to steady herself.
 
“Go and search for your mate, Chosen One,” said the woman, and Buffy felt that there was the slightest hint of benevolence in the stern voice. Then a wind came out of nowhere, her hair swirled around her face, and she was gone.
 
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“Buffy? I’m home!” Riley called. He put down his things and walked around the house. “Buffy?” There was no answer. It didn’t seem like she had been there all day. Figuring she must be at the Magic Box he picked up the phone to dial the store. “Willow? It’s Riley. Is Buffy there?”
 
Willow sounded confused at the other end of the line. “We haven’t seen her all day.”
 
“I wonder where she could be?” Riley then noticed a blinking light on the answering machine and pressed the button. It was a message from Buffy’s psychiatrist, wondering why she had missed her appointment. “Willow? Did you hear that?” he asked in a sudden panic.
 
“She skipped her appointment?” Willow was instantly on high alert. “Let me call the others. Sit tight, we’ll be over in a little bit.” She rang off and started calling Giles and Xander while Riley changed out of his work clothes and paced around the house fretfully. Everything was neat and tidy, nothing seemed out of place. None of Buffy’s clothes were gone either. He half expected her to walk in annoyed at being fussed over, but when the bell rang it was Xander, Willow, Tara, and Giles. “Did she come home yet?” Willow asked.
 
“No! She dropped me at work this morning and said she was going to get her hair done and go to the doctor, but it doesn’t seem like she’s been home all day.”
 
Giles hesitated a moment then said, “Willow, I think you should do a locator spell, just to be certain.” He couldn’t explain why, but a sudden sense of foreboding started creeping into his brain.
 
Riley got a map of Sunnydale and Willow performed the spell. But unlike previous spells, no small spark appeared to mark Buffy’s presence. “Could she have left town? Do you have a wider map?” Riley left the room and could be heard rummaging around upstairs. He came back with a map of California, and Willow performed the spell a second time. This time a brief glow flickered around L.A. then faded. “It looks like she went to L.A., but her presence there is faint for some reason.”
 
“Oh my God.” Tara’s sudden exclamation made the others turn to take in her wide eyes and look of dread. “She was saying goodbye.”
 
“What do you mean?” Xander put in, having observed the proceedings silently up until that point.
 
Tara explained. “This whole past week. She was doing all of her favorite things. The Bronze. Movie night. Going out for dinner with all of us.”
 
“Jesus,” breathed Riley, realization dawning on him suddenly as well. “This morning. She kissed me goodbye. She didn’t say ‘see you later’. She said goodbye.”
 
“We need to get to L.A. right now,” Giles said. A hasty call was made to Anya and to Jenny before the others climbed into Xander’s car and sped off toward L.A. Riley stared straight ahead the whole time, trying to keep his emotions in check. The others speculated from time to time on what could have happened. Willow performed the spell twice during the journey with the same result – a faint trace of a glow in L.A., growing slightly fainter each time. Was she injured? Dead? Was this a place she had been for a while then left? No one knew.
 
When they finally reached the city they switched to a city map for the locator spell, and soon found themselves in the neighborhood of the downtown post office. They drove around for a while, perplexed, wondering where to look. Then Xander cried out, “Look! It’s your car!”
 
They pulled over and scrambled out. The car was unoccupied, but they could see a piece of paper on the passenger seat. Riley fumbled for his keys and opened the door, snatching up the note. They all crowded around and read:
 
To my friends:
 
By the time you read this I will be gone. I can’t explain where I am going, I’m not sure I entirely know myself. I am going to find someone I love very much. This isn’t to say that I don’t love all of you – I do, and I am truly sorry for any pain I have caused you. But this place and time are not where I belong anymore, and I can’t pretend any longer. I just wanted you to know that I’m going to be happy where I am, and that I will always remember you.
 
Love, Buffy
 
The note fluttered from Riley’s fingers as he leaned heavily against the car, covered his face with his hands, and wept.

TBC
 
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