CHAPTER FOUR
 
 
“So, you’re going out with my… whatever he is… tonight?”
 
“He’s some sort of cousin. But it’s very distant, so….”
 
“It’s still weird… and gross. My mother is dating my cousin who is related to my dad, who’s dead, and….” Joyce shuddered. “I’m not sure my psyche is ready for this.”
 
“You’ll live,” Buffy said. “Although you might not want to share all that information with your friends… it’s too hard to explain.”
 
“Oh trust me! It’s hard enough listening to them drooling over him, the last thing I want them to know is that I’m related to him.”
 
“All right. Will you be okay here by yourself?  No boys in the house, but you can have girlfriends over if you want.”
 
“I’ll be fine. Super powers, remember? Who’s going to give me a hard time?”
 
“Anybody who doesn’t know you have super powers,” Buffy pointed out. “Which is everybody, right?”
 
“Right. Right. I haven’t picked up anything I shouldn’t since the car incident. And I convinced everybody they were hallucinating.”
 
They both turned as there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” Joyce ran to the door, throwing it open.  “Cuz!” she said, giggling at her own humor.
 
“That isn’t going to go away, is it?” Bill said with a sigh.
 
“Nope! At least not until it stops being fun.” Joyce beamed at him, and he reluctantly smiled back at her, noticing for the first time that her eyes were the same shade of blue as his own, and that she had the same defined cheekbones. 
 
“Damn,” he whispered before turning to Buffy. “Am I imaging things?”
 
Buffy shook her head. “No. But it makes sense. She has always had some of her father’s features, and you look a lot like him, so….”
 
“Do we look alike?” Joyce grabbed Bill by the arm and dragged him to a nearby mirror. Standing side by side, the resemblance was very noticeable. “Wow. You could be my father.”
 
“But I’m not,” he said, gently disengaging her hand from his arm. “And you can’t behave like this at school. I’ll get fired and you’ll be… well who knows?”
 
“Oh I know. I’m not a complete idiot. At school you’re Mr. Patterson, sir. But if anybody notices how much we look alike….”
 
He groaned, echoed by Buffy.  “I guess we’d better do our best to not stand side by side if we can avoid it. Maybe nobody will notice if we’re never together.” He studied her slender build and long blond hair.  “You look a good bit like your mother, as well.”
 
“Uh huh.” Joyce didn’t sound convinced, but she moved away from him.  “I hope you guys enjoy your dinner. I’m having pizza….”
 
“You asked for pizza!” Buffy said, hands on hips. Joyce just laughed and walked into the kitchen.
 
“Have fun, kids. And be good.”  She suddenly appeared back in the doorway. “And I do mean ‘be good’! I don’t want to be grossed out because my mom is—”
 
“Finish that sentence and you will never leave the house again.” Buffy’s expression showed that she was very serious and Joyce rolled her eyes as she retreated to the kitchen.
 
“I was just saying….” Her voice floated back to them as she put a safe distance between herself and Buffy.
 
Who was bright red and refusing to meet Bill’s amused gaze. “I apologize for my daughter’s appalling behavior,” she said. “I don’t know who she gets that from.”
 
He just laughed and put an arm around her briefly. “Probably from ‘Uncle Spike’” he said. “Don’t worry about it. As long as she keeps her mouth shut at school, it’ll be fine.”
 
“Damn good thing she’s a slayer and used to keeping secrets,” Buffy grumbled as they walked out the door. 
 
 
XXXXXX
 
 
True to his word, Bill took her to a brewpub where the food was good, the beer cold, and dress was casual.
 
Buffy pushed her plate of ribs away, and covered her mouth for a ladylike burp. “Oh my gosh. Excuse me!”
 
He laughed and shook his head. “It’s nice to see someone enjoying their food.”
 
Buffy flushed, but smiled. “Well, I don’t eat as much as I used to, but slayers burn a lot of calories just existing, so I can put it away when it’s good. And that was. Good, I mean.”
 
“It’s been nice, hasn’t it?”  It was a serious question, as he’d obviously been working very hard all night to concentrate on making it a good date and not an inquisition about her life. Buffy smiled her gratitude at him.
 
“It has. Very nice. Thank you.” 
 
He understood immediately what she was thanking him for.  “You’re welcome. It’s not like my curiosity has taken a vacation, but I did lock it up for a while. I’ll let it out when I’ve overwhelmed you with my charm and ability to have fun.”
 
“Consider me whelmed,” she responded. “Maybe even overwhelmed… we’ll see how the rest of the night goes.”
 
“Now that’s a challenge if I ever heard one….”
 
Buffy giggled and tipped her beer at him. “It wasn’t meant to be…. but feel free to charm and fun me.”
 
 
XXXXXX
 
“So”, he said as they made their way back to his car. “Are you charmed and funned enough to answer a few questions?”
 
Buffy sighed. “I guess I can try.  And if I can’t, I can give you some websites to access to learn more about my world.”
 
“It’s on the Internet?”
 
“Well, not exactly. You have to follow some links, and have a few passwords, but if I show you how, you’ll have access to the Slayer and Watcher’s Council’s information page. It’s probably something your niece was given to look at when they tried to recruit her. It’s easier for most people to understand if they can read and then reread the parts that sound… crazy.”
 
“Okay, first question. Is it hard to get girls to sign up when you find them?”
 
Buffy shrugged. “Honestly? Not very often. By the time they get their powers, most potential slayers already know they have a high energy level, are very athletic, and need lots of exercise.  I guess girls who aren’t like that, would be the ones to turn us down. Most of them are pretty happy to find out there’s a reason they’re so strong and fast… and feisty.”
 
“Feisty?” He stopped and stared at her.
 
“Well, that sounds better than prone to violence, doesn’t it?”
 
“I guess that explains why Josie turned you down. She’s a very gentle person, and abhors violence.”
 
“Yeah. Definitely not slayer material.”
 
“So, Josie seems pretty normal – has kids and stuff. What happens to slayers who don’t join up?”
 
Buffy made a face. “That makes it sound like some kind of a cult.” 
 
“Sorry. Question still stands, though. Is she going to have problems some day?”
 
Buffy shrugged. “Not that I’m aware of. Not everybody gets the whole package, it seems. The ones who don’t come into training don’t develop any more. They stay strong and fast, but they don’t feel any need to go around saving people, and they can’t recognize vampires when they see them. They just lead regular lives, maybe a little healthier and faster-healing than they might have been, but with nothing that’s going to draw attention to them.” She frowned. “I don’t know what would happen if they felt threatened, though… or thought their kids were in danger… Hmmmmm. I should have somebody look into that.”
 
“What changed?  You said you were the only slayer when you were in high school, how did the rest of them get here?”
 
“They were always here, but they were just potentials unless or until they were called. As long as I was alive – or Kendra, and then Faith – they would just age out of the window for being called and live out their lives, never knowing about it in some cases.”
 
Buffy slowed down and frowned at the small group of men near the car. Bill rested one hand casually on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper, “Should we be in fight or flight mode?”  She shook her head. “I can’t decide. We’re not close enough for me to feel if they’re vamps, and if they’re human, I’d rather not have to kick their butts in a public place.”
 
Bill rolled his shoulders in a way that gave her another unpleasant twinge. “I probably should have told you about my hobby,” he said, staring at the young men who had noticed them by now.
 
“Which is?” Buffy sighed and resigned herself to having to fight something.
 
“I spend three nights a week at a dojo – teaching self-defense and Aikido.”
 
“Fine,” she said. “I could use the exercise. But if they’re vamps….”
 
“If they’re vampires, I’m getting behind you and screaming for help.”
 
She laughed and started toward the car again.  “Okay.”  As they neared the car, parked in a less than well-lit area, she said, “Bingo!  Start screaming.”
 
She took a stake from her purse before tossing it on the ground in back of her. Although Bill did get slightly behind her (and to her left, she tried not to notice), he didn’t scream but eyed the men warily.
 
“Dinner is served,” the closest vamp said, allowing his game face out.
 
“Dinner is pissed off that you’re ruining her date,” Buffy replied, leaping over him and running her stake through his back.  She had time to bring another one to his knees with a kick, before the remaining two leapt at her together.
 
“Well, that’s not fair!” she grunted, ducking just in time for them to run into each other. Her hand moving too fast for even their vampire sight, she staked them both and turned to look for the one she’d kicked.
 
She found him, favoring his bad leg but facing off against Bill, who was doing his visible best not to be intimidated by the yellow eyes and fangs of his opponent. When the vampire jumped him, he dropped, flipping it over his head and into another car, setting off the alarm. Before the vamp could gain his feet and conquer his spinning head, Buffy walked over and punched him.  She looked at Bill and held out her stake – pointing at the unconscious vampire.
 
“Do you want to do the honors?”
 
He raised his eyebrows, but took the stake.  “Where do I put it?”
 
“Right through his heart. You’ll have to push hard.”
 
He nodded and bent down, putting his entire weight behind his blow. He remained bent over, holding himself up with one hand while he stared at the dust now blowing away in the slight breeze.
 
“Well,” he said finally as he stood up and handed the stake back to Buffy. “That was…. an education.  Does that happen often?”
 
“Not really. We’re not on a hellmouth here, and almost every major city has at least a few slayers. Vamps are kind of an endangered species now, to be honest. I can’t remember the last time I saw more than one or two at the same time.”
 
She picked up her purse and stood by the car door, waiting for him to open it.
 
“She takes care of four monsters by herself, and now she wants me to open a car door for her,” he said, his smirk giving away how not serious he was. He opened the door and waited for her to get in. She paused and looked at him, holding out the stake. “I didn’t do it by myself,” she said. “And here. Why don’t you keep this? As a souvenir?”
 
He took the stake without comment, waiting until she was comfortably inside the car before closing the door. He walked around to the driver’s side and got in, tossing the stake into the back before turning on the engine. 
 
“Guess we’d best get out of here before everyone comes running to see what set off that car alarm.”
 
“Too late.” Buffy put her window down and beamed at the restaurant staff running toward them. “Hi. It’s that red car over there,” she said, pointing. “Some guys were fighting and one of them fell on to the car’s hood. I guess they ran away when the alarm started. We were just trying to stay locked in and inconspicuous until it was safe to drive off.”
 
“Okay, thanks,” the first man said, turning to face the crowd. “It’s nothing folks. If it’s not your car, just go back inside. I don’t think there’s any damage, but you should probably check it out in daylight,” he added to the man standing beside him. He waved at Buffy as she raised a questioning eyebrow and made driving away motions, and Bill immediately pulled away from the scene.
 
“We didn’t do anything wrong. Why do I feel like I’m sneaking away from a crime scene?”
 
“Welcome to my world,” Buffy said with a wry twist to her mouth. “Trust me. You don’t want to have to explain how the guys you were fighting went poof. It never goes well.”
 
“I guess there’s still a lot about your life I don’t know,” he said as he nosed out into traffic. “Maybe we can find a quiet place to have an after dinner drink and you can fill me in more?”
 
“I think I’ve had all the alcohol I need for one night,” Buffy said, then added quickly when she saw his face fall, “but we can go back to my house and have something there. I don’t keep a lot of booze around, but I might have some beer in the fridge.”
 
He smiled. “That sounds nice. Although I am trying to take you on dates that will take your mind off….” His voice trailed off. “I guess that’s not possible, is it?”
 
“I don't know,” she replied. “It’s not like I’ve had a lot of dates in the past ten…. or twenty years.  But I promise you they don’t always end with staking vampires in a parking lot.”
 
“Really?” He perked up for a few seconds.
 
“Really. Sometimes it’s a Fyarl demon, or a world-ending apocalypse, or a…” She giggled as his expression went from happy to shocked to annoyed.
 
“Very funny.”
 
“I’m sorry. But my life really isn’t one life-threatening event after another. Not anymore. You just got lucky tonight.”
 
“Good for me.”