CHAPTER SIX
 
 
Buffy spent most of the next day filling in more details for Joyce about her relationship with Spike and convincing her that he would have been ecstatic to know he had a daughter.
 
“He’d have spoiled you rotten,” she said, stroking Joyce’s hair. “Of course, he’d also have terrified any boy that wanted to date you, but…”
 
Joyce smiled and pretended she couldn’t see the tears in Buffy’s eyes. “I’m just glad he was somebody who loved you and not some lowlife who ran out on you when you were pregnant.”
 
“No. By that time he was a dead hero – many times over. And I’m not sure that running out on a pregnant women he cared for would have been on Spike’s radar even when he was at his most evil.  And it definitely wouldn’t have been on William’s.”
 
“Don’t you think it’s weird how much Mr. Patterson looks like him – William – though?”
 
Buffy sighed. “It is weird, but that’s just physical stuff – bone structure and curly hair and things like that. Family traits that for whatever reason came together in Bill in almost the same ways they did in… William. I’m sure there are lots of other people on his mother’s side of the family with high cheekbones and blue eyes and whatever, just maybe not all together in the same person. Or they’ve just never bothered to look at old pictures and notice the resemblance. Bill said he does look a lot like one of the cousins he has in England.” Buffy shrugged.  
 
“What’s weirder are all the ways he reminds me of Spike. I can understand looking like him, but not some of his habits and gestures… or the way he was sure he wanted to date me so fast.”
 
“Um… you know you’re still beautiful, right? I mean, yay slayer healing, neither you or Aunt Faith look anywhere near your real ages.”
 
Buffy smiled. “Flattery will not get you that new jacket you want. But, okay, let’s just say he was knocked out by my amazing looks. That doesn’t explain why he didn’t go running off as soon as he found out what I am, or saw me in action slaying.”
 
“What are you trying to say? That he is Spike… my father?”
 
“No. That’s crazy. Even if I believed in reincarnation – which I don’t – Bill was already an adult when your father—Oh my God…. No. No way.” Buffy’s face went white as she shook her head vigorously.
 
“No way what? What?”
 
“Nothing. I have to make a phone call.”
 
XXXXXX
 
Buffy waited until Joyce had given up nagging her and gone to her room before calling Bill.  When he answered, she didn’t even say hello, only asking, “What is the date – the year you almost died? When they had to bring you back?”
 
“May, 2008,” he said immediately. “I’d have to ask my mother the exact day I coded and they had to resuscitate me. The accident was on the 6th, so sometime after that.”
 
“You were pretty quick with that answer,” Buffy said.
 
“I did the math on the way home last night.  When was Spike—”
 
“May 8th.”
 
“Holy shit, Buffy,” he whispered. “Do you think—”
 
“I‘m not thinking anything right now. Or at least I’m trying not to…. but I guess we need to talk.”
 
“You think? I’ve got to close up here this afternoon. But I’m coming over as soon as I can.”
 
“Okay. You might as well plan to have dinner here.”
 
“I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
 
“See you,” she echoed.
 
 
XXXXXX
 
While the chicken she was roasting was in the oven, Buffy went to her computer and tried to reach Willow. Luck was with her, and a reply came back quickly. She smiled when her screen showed her Willow’s face.
 
“Hey there,” Buffy said. “I’m glad I caught you.”
 
“You just barely did. I was just thinking I’d grab a desserty snack and then go to bed early tonight.”
 
“Oh, damn, I forgot how late it is there! I’m sorry, Wills. Are you all ready for bed?”
 
“Nope. Not yet. It’s all good. We witchy types like to stay up late and sleep in.”
 
“Okay, if you’re sure…”
 
“I’m sure. So what’s up? Something wrong?”
 
“I don’t know how to even explain this… you know how I feel about all that reincarnation stuff you picked up in Tibet….”
 
“I do.” Willow’s voice became slightly chillier. “You think it’s all poppycock and hogwash. Does that about cover it?”
 
“It does. It did. I don’t know what to think now…”
 
“What’s different now?”
 
When Buffy had finished explaining about meeting Bill, their immediate attraction, and finding out he was related to Spike, as well as the coincidence of his moments of being dead being around the same time as Spike’s dusting, she paused and waited for Willow to say something. There was a long silence, made easier to bear because she could see that Willow was thinking hard.
 
“Okay. I’m going to have to talk to some people here. We need to know more about Spike’s family, and I need to find out if there’s any record of a soul being reborn in an adult who has died, however briefly.”
 
“But you think it’s possible?” Buffy was torn between hope and fear.
 
“That’s what I want to find out,” Willow said, firmly. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up… and, Buffy?  It doesn’t sound like he actually is Spike. Just that he maybe… I don’t know. I’ll look into it and get back to you first thing in the morning.  If I have to, I’ll come over and try to get a reading from his aura.”
 
“Okay. Thanks, Willow. I know it’s a long shot, but….”
 
“If it’s bothering you, and there’s any chance that Spike has… Yes. It is a long shot. I don’t want to pretend it isn’t. But if somebody who refuses to believe in reincarnation is considering it, then it’s worth checking out.”
 
“Than—”
 
“Don’t thank me till we know what’s what.  But, Buffy, don’t run away from somebody you might want to be with just because he is or isn’t who you want him to be.  If you and this guy have something between you, don’t throw it away if it turns out he just looks like his great, great something or other.”
 
“Yes, oh dispenser of relationship advice,” Buffy said, affection clear in her tone and on her face.
 
“Mama Willow has spoken.”
 
“And Buffy has listened.”
 
“Talk to you soon.”
 
“Bye”
 
XXXXXXX
 
 
“All right. What’s going on? Mysterious phone calls… pacing the floor…. and now Mr. Patterson is pulling into the driveway again. After you told me you and he were going to take a couple of days to ‘chill’.”
 
“I’ll explain. I promise. But I’m waiting for Willow to get back to me about something, and I’d rather talk about it then. Is that okay?”
 
“Fine.” Joyce didn’t look particularly fine, but she sighed and nodded. “Okay, will you do this for me? Tell me if you really like my teacher, or if this is turning into some kind of weird slayer-related thing.”
 
Buffy looked toward the door, which was now vibrating under Bill’s fist.
 
“Nope. Answer me first. Is it okay to get used to having him around and liking him, or would that be a bad idea?”
 
“He’s your teacher. You’ll like him or not.  As far as getting used to him being around… that’s up to him… mostly.” Buffy ran to the door and threw it open. “Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “We were in the middle of a mother-daughter conversation.”
 
He raised his eyebrows at Joyce, sighing when she turned away and refused to meet his gaze.
 
“This is going to be complicated, isn’t it?” he said. “I’m not sure how to handle dating a woman who is also a parent of a child in my class. I’ve never done that before.”
 
“Why did you ask my mom out, then?” Joyce whirled and stalked toward him. “If you never do it, why did you do it this time?”
 
“I wish I knew,” he said, his sincerity apparent. “Not that I regret it,” he added, turning to Buffy. “Not for a second. But it was out of character and I’d really like to know why I did it, and why seeing you makes my entire body thrum with excitement.”
 
“Ewwww! I didn’t need to hear that!” Joyce turned and ran up the stairs, slamming her door tightly.
 
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Welcome to my life,” she said with a grimace.
 
He surprised her by chuckling. “You forget I make my living dealing with moods like that everyday. She didn’t throw me out, so I’m calling it a win.”
 
Buffy led the way back to the living room, peering at him sideways. “Thrum, huh?”
 
“Too poetic?”
 
Buffy laughed. “I’ll let you know after I think about it.  I think a long time ago, some guy said something about his body humming… kinda the same thing?”
 
“More or less. I think I like my word better.” He sat down at the same end of the couch he’d been on the night before. “So, this humming guy, should I be jealous?”
 
“Nah. He was nice enough, but he didn’t have a chance. I was already with Spike when I met him. ” She smiled at him sadly. “And I don’t think he could’ve handled having the Slayer for his girlfriend.”
 
“His loss.”
 
“Spike’s gain.”
 
“Oh ho. So that’s how it was, huh?”
 
“Well, not exactly. I mean Spike and I were already… we’d had our ups and downs, but Spike really stepped up when we needed him, and Riley never really understood that I couldn’t date him because I was in love with a vampire. He left Sunnydale eventually after some….never mind. He’s nothing you need to worry about.”
 
The conversation trailed off as they stared at each other. Bill finally exhaled sharply and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “So, are we going to make small talk all night, or talk about what we think we found out today?”
 
“All we found out, so far, is that you were briefly dead and brought back to life around the same time Spike… died.”
 
“And you don’t believe in reincarnation.”
 
“No. I think when you die, your soul goes to… well, Heaven if you’re a slayer—”
 
When he jokingly interrupted, “Are you sure about that?” her curt, “Yes” made him frown, but he didn’t interrupt again.
 
“I don’t know where vampire souls go.  I mean, if you’ve saved the world a bunch of times and you stopped being evil, and you got your soul back, I think you should go to Heaven too. But I don’t know that,” she finished softly. “I just hope that’s what happens.”
 
“So you don’t believe that soul might find its way into the body of a distant relative who is destined to end up in the same city as the love of your life?”
 
Buffy’s eyes were wide. “Is that what you think?”
 
“I’m asking about you,” he said gently. “Do you think that’s possible?”
 
Buffy sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “No. I don’t believe it’s possible. But I can’t explain… so I have somebody who knows all about reincarnation looking into it for me.” She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Why do you think it is?”
 
“Well, skipping the whole ‘you make my body thrum’ thing, because you’re a beautiful woman and maybe I’m just really horny…” He frowned at her narrowed eyes.  “See? You want it to be more, believe in it or not.” He smiled and continued, “Let’s recap what we do know.
 
“I haven’t asked my mother yet, but we both know it’s going to turn out to be the same day – the one that Spike died… and so did I… but I was resuscitated.  And after I woke up, I was… different. Little things, mostly, but they were there. And a few bigger things.” He began ticking off on his fingers.  “I changed my brand of booze, I took up martial arts and found out I like to fight, I started wearing leather jackets and writing poetry. I know how to be a gentleman, but I know how to be rude and crude too. And five minutes after I met you, I knew I wanted to know you better. And the first time I kissed you… it was like coming home.”
 
When she didn’t answer, he sighed and went to his knees in front of her. Neither one of them acknowledged her flinch as he went into that position. “Why don’t you want to admit it could be… something… something you don’t want to believe?”
 
She gazed at him with damp eyes. “Because for so long I hoped and watched, and… prayed to… whoever…and I finally just accepted the loss. I had a wonderful man for a while – until I didn’t. And I have my beautiful daughter and a nice life, and I figured if I meet somebody, great, and if I don’t, well, I should just appreciate what I had.  And now you’re here, and….” She stopped and took a deep breath. “And I’m scared, Bill. I’m afraid to let myself believe after all this time…. and I’m afraid if it isn’t true, I’ll drive you away and… and I really don’t want to do that. But I don’t want to be with you just because you feel like Spike to me. You deserve more than that.”
 
“I’m not going anywhere, Buffy. I don’t think I can. You may not believe reincarnation is possible, but I do. I think there could be a man inside me who has you in here.” He touched his heart. “And now I’ve got you there.”
 
“W-willow, did I tell you about Willow?” He shook his head. “Well she’s been a friend forever, and she’s a very powerful witch, and she’s trying to find out if somebody can be reincarnated into somebody who already has a life.” Buffy waved her hand around. “Which isn’t where I was going with that,” she said, shaking her head. “Anyway, Willow said that if I like you, I should just go for it. Not worry about if you are or aren’t Spike.”
 
“Works for me,” he said, leaning in to brush his lips across hers. “I’ll take you any way I can have you.”
 
“This is so wrong….” Buffy whispered as she let herself fall into the kiss.
 
“Nothing that feels this right can be wrong.” He moved to his feet and managed to sit beside her without ever breaking the kiss. They were both very conscious of how, the night before, they’d slipped so easily into something inappropriate for Joyce to walk in on, and they limited themselves to relatively chaste, if heartfelt, kissing. To no avail, as they never noticed Joyce until she spoke.