NOVEMBER 10, 2028- NEW HOPE CEMETERY- NEW ENGLAND

As the images of her mother’s grief flashed through her brain, the feelings Joni thought she was dealing with so well came up from where she buried them. She didn’t think she’d missed her Daddy this much. With her Mom in the hospital, crushed under the weight of her grief, Joni had to be strong. Someone had to take care of the boogiemen. Someone had to protect people like Homer from the things he couldn’t know about, so she pushed the grief down under her heart, where it didn’t hurt as much, and went on.

And now, an old man’s request made her realize just how much she missed her Daddy. She missed him, and for the first time in months, she felt it. And she cried.

Homer let out a sigh of relief when he heard the sob in the little girl’s throat, “That’s it, Jonina. Let it out,” he whispered, as he moved closer to her, “Let it all out.”

Joni suddenly realized what she had done. She’d broken a promise and given a stranger something that was private. Something that was the only thing she had left to give her Daddy. All she had left to give him was her tears, and now she didn’t even have that because she’d just given her most precious thing to a total stranger.

And that made her angry.

She wiped the tears away from her face furiously, “I wasn’t supposed to do that,” she croaked.

The emptiness in her voice nearly broke him, “Why not?” Homer asked.

Looking at the kindly old man’s face only made the betrayal of her father sting Joni more, “Because my tears belong only to my Daddy. You can’t have them,” she sniffed. As she looked into his smoke-blue eyes, she suffered even more. Ever since her father had died, every pair of eyes she looked into looked like his somehow.

“I’m not taking anything from you, Sweetheart. I’m trying to help you.”

The quizzical tilt of his head as he looked at her made the tears start flowing again. Why did this stranger have to remind her so much of what she knew her Daddy could never have?

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I just realized now how much I missed him. There’s so much I would do differently, if I had the chance.”

Homer nodded as his attention was drawn back to the tombstone in front of them, “I know the feeling. I know it well. It sounds to me, as if your father was very loved. And I’m sure, if he could, he would tell you he loves you.”

Joni felt a pain in her throat as she said, “You mean loved. He’s dead.”

The gardener’s breath caught as if she’d struck him. Joni looked and saw pain flash in the old man’s eyes, “No,” he said slowly, “I mean loves. Don’t you know love is eternal?”

Joni let out a sigh and whispered, “My Daddy was too. Once.”

“What was that, Sweetheart?” he asked as he eyed the stone intently.

“Nothing,” Joni mumbled.

His eyes seemed to twinkle in the darkness as he stood next to her. Joni didn’t know why, but it made talking to him more comfortable.

The next words out of Homer’s mouth made her heart skip a beat. He made her feel like her Daddy was close enough to touch. It sounded so much like him that she almost giggled, “Let’s play a game,” he said.

“What?” she nearly laughed.

Homer smiled, “Humor an old man, would you,” he tapped his temple with his left index finger, “This is a thinking game. Maybe it’ll get your mind off the grief for a little while.”

“Okay,” Joni smiled despite herself, “I’ll play.”

“Good,” he smiled, “Have you ever felt déjà vu? Like you’ve done something before, but you knew you had not?”

“Yeah. It happens all the time.”

“Yes,” he smiled, “it does. It happens to me too. More as I get older, for some reason. Do you believe in an afterlife? Perhaps a deity of some sort?”

Joni had to think about that one. With all the things she’d seen, and with what she knew about her Mom and Daddy, she knew that there were so many unexplained things in the universe that they all just couldn’t be random. There had to be a reason for all of it. Plus, she remembered the stories that her Mom used to tell her, about Heaven, when she was a little girl. Her Mom believed. So, why shouldn’t she? “Yes, I do,” she said.

Homer’s eyes twinkled like stars in the dark of the cemetery, “Well,” he asked, almost conspiratorially, “what if, when all was said and done, someone you loved or someone who loves you, were given the chance to fix things that they’d done wrong? You said yourself that you would do thing over, do them differently, if you could. What if your father got the chance to do things over?”

The gardener’s eyes seemed to glow brighter as he asked her this. She wasn’t sure why, but it seemed to Joni that her new friend was trying to convince her it could be possible, “ It is a nice thought,” she sighed, “A very nice one, in fact. But, you didn’t know my Daddy. I think he’s used up all his chances.”

“All of them, are you sure?”

She smiled sadly, “I’m pretty sure,” she said as she thought about how her Daddy seemed to be able to charm anyone out of anything. He certainly had her wrapped around his little finger.

She was a Daddy’s girl, even now, “But,” she mused, “if it could happen, my Daddy would be the one who could do it.”

“He was special then?” Homer asked.

“Very special,” Joni chuckled, “And, if it were even remotely possible for him to do it, to come back somehow, and he knew how much my Mommy and I missed him, I have no doubt that he would do it.”

He stepped closer to her as he said, “You are a very special young lady. I’m sure, wherever your father is now, he would want you to know he loves you.”

Joni let out a shuddering sigh, “Thank you for helping me through this. That nice thought makes missing my Daddy hurt a little less,” she kissed Homer lightly on the cheek as she turned to leave the graveyard, “It’s nice to think that maybe my Daddy can see me.”

Homer watched her leave, and his heart felt light and saddened, all at once, “I can see you, Dove,” he whispered.
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