Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.

Chapter 7 - If I Can Just

Buffy was still clinging to Spike when he unlocked the car and opened the door for her. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling himself from her and urging her to get in. She looked up at him, tears staining her cheeks and more threatening to flow. He looked away, trying to act impatient. With a whimper, she dutifully climbed in, her hands on her lap as she tried to control her emotions. Spike slammed the door shut and hurried to the other side settling into the driver seat. He wanted to go home, back into the solitude of his room and forget everything that just happened.

Just like the ride to the bar that night, the drive back to the lair was silent. Both of them lost in their own internal battles. Buffy eventually calmed down, and furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks. She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face.

As Spike parked the car and pulled the keys from the ignition, he turned to Buffy. She met him with a small smile. "Feeling better, pet?"

"A little. Guess I just need some sleep."


***

Spike walked into the house with Buffy dutifully in tow. He could hear the incessant laughter combined with the occasional moaning coming from the other room. The door soon opened and the happy couple half danced, half groped each other into the receiving room for all to see. Spike shut his eyes and tried to calm his nerves. He remembered times when he and Dru were bound together as such and he could only imagine what new tricks Angelus had taught his daughter. Upon seeing Angelus, Buffy moved closer to Spike, trying to hide herself from the master vampire’s view.

Angelus could smell his former plaything and stopped. His hands still paying Dru attention, but his eyes following every curve of Buffy’s body. Angelus wrinkled his nose at seeing her choice of clothing for the night. Her jeans though accentuating her figure showed no skin and her top though cut somewhat low, covered most of her body. He had preferred her in outfits that left nothing to the imagination since he knew it made her uncomfortable. As his gaze moved up to her neck, he saw the marks that littered it and gave Spike an all knowing growl. He held Dru tighter, nipping at her neck, sending her to giggles. Angelus moved to embrace Dru from behind so that Spike could get a better view of what he was doing to his beautiful Dark Princess.

“Does Spike like playing dress up with his dolly? I remember when we played dress up.” Dru said as he leaned into Angelus, giving his jaw a brief kiss.

Spike tried to look bored, fishing for a cigarette and his lighter.

Angelus, still not taking his eyes of Buffy, leaned in for another kiss, his hands continuing their wanton journey throughout his daughter's body.

“Are you quite bloody done?” Spike said, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

“Doesn’t my beloved want to play?”, Drusilla stretched her arms out to Spike and he wanted nothing more than to feel them wrap around him. But he felt Buffy’s hand grip tightly against his coat cowering in fear as her eyes locked onto Angelus.

“How does she taste Spike? I can hear her heartbeat singing to me.” Angelus said, reluctantly letting Dru go and moving towards his former toy.

Buffy started circling Spike to move away from Angelus. Spike was somewhat uninterested in what was going on, his eyes looking Dru over, wondering what he had done to have caused her affections to leave him. He loved her so much. He was devoted to her and did everything to protect her from harm. All he wanted was something different, he wanted them to be alone together for a while. Angelus talked about grand schemes, sometimes even talking about opening the Hellmouth, but all Spike wanted was to be with his love.

Buffy held on to Spike’s arm, pushing herself as close to him as possible as she tried to hide away from Angelus. “Please.. no..”, he heard Buffy whimper into his duster and with a sigh, he protectively placed his free hand on her head, petting her gently.

“Give her to me!”, Angelus said glaring at his childe.

“Face it Peaches, she prefers me to you.”

“Know your place childe! I can unmake you.”

Spike glanced up at Dru, and saw her pure delight at the impending fight. Prying Buffy’s fingers from his arm, he pushed her behind him then flicked his unfinished cigarette to the ground. “I’d like to see you try.” Spike growled back.

With a smug look on his face Angelus rushed at Spike, knocking him against a wall. Spike stood up quickly, dodging a punch that Angelus intended for his face. Spike focused all his anger on his grandsire, trying to ignore the shallow whimpers he could hear from Buffy and the giggling Dru was emitting at seeing her father and lover fighting. Angelus was strong and angry at having been rejected and Spike was somewhat glad that he at least had three victims worth of blood in him. They exchanged blow after blow and kick after kick – wrecking havoc to the house’s receiving room. Angelus was relentless, and it didn’t help at all that Dru seemed like she was rooting for her sire. Spike’s heart sank. If he could only win, then maybe she’ll see. In that split second of doubt, Angelus saw his opening, grabbing him by the throat and flinging him hard unto the cold marble. Angelus scoffed at him as Spike tried to focus his vision.

Wiping blood from his busted lip and a cut on his cheek, Angelus bent down. “Know your place childe. I am your Master. I am your grandsire and I can take any and all I please.” He lifted Spike’s head. “I have tasted your lover before you were made. She is mine, my daughter and she has returned to me because I will it.” One hand still on Spike’s throat, he raised the other to point towards Buffy. “She’ll be next William. The name she will moan will be mine.”

With seething hatred, Spike pushed Angelus away from him. “Kiss! My! Arse!”

Angelus growled and stepped back, a smug look on his face as he looked at his handiwork.

“Can we play dress up now?” Dru asked as she moved towards Angelus. Angelus took her hand and kissed it. “Yes dear. I’m bored now.”

“Bloody fucking hell!” Spike said in anger as he picked himself up. The fight was not over. It was far from over. "Get back here you, ponce!" But Angelus didn't pay him any heed.

Buffy rushed to his side, offering her shoulder for him to lean on. He tried to wave her away in disgust but only managed to stretch an already bruised muscle. Buffy took his left arm and wrapped it around her neck, propping him up as they walked towards his room. Both secretly thankful the room wasn’t upstairs.

Spike leaned against the doorframe as Buffy fished for his keys and then opened the door. He gingerly made his way to the bed and sat down with a grimace as he quickly scanned for any liquor in the room. Eyeing an open bottle of Jack Daniels on the bedside table, he leaned back and reached out for it. Buffy gently closed the door and turned around. She wasn’t sure what Spike was going to do. She knew he was frustrated about what just happened and she could only hope that he wouldn’t take her anger out on her. Taking a chance, she walked towards the bed and knelt down by his feet. Gently she started unlacing his boots, pulling them off to try and make him more comfortable.

Spike’s eyes closed as he let the alcohol numb his senses. He knew he needed more to dull the pain but at least it was a start. He felt fingers trying to pry his beloved bottle from his hand and he growled, possessively drinking the rest of the bottle’s contents. He heard a sigh as the fingers moved from his hand to his shoulder, motioning that he needed to remove his duster. He looked at Buffy annoyed, growling at her with vehemence. “Why don’t you just leave?!”

“Can’t.”, she said solemnly as she pressed herself against him, trying to motion him to a sitting position.

“I’ll break your neck!”

“I know. Now get this coat off so I can see if your wounded anywhere else.”

Spike glared at her and was surprised to see that same fire staring right back at him. “Why are you even here?”

Buffy didn’t answer, not really sure why she was so concerned over the vampire. It was hard to determine how she really felt about him. She was still a little furious with him for gambling with her life earlier. Then, she had asked him to turn her in the hopes that that would be her means of escape from this life of semi-servitude. But he wouldn't do it and instead preserved her life and protected her from Angelus. She knew he was hurting because of the scene between Angelus and Drusilla and her heart went out to him. And damn it she couldn't deny that he always somehow managed to make her feel safe. She could just leave him be -- let him wallow in his misery. But she knew she couldn't after seeing the anguish in his face.

She went into the bathroom to grab a towel, dampening it so as to clean his wounds. She settled down on the bed beside him, the question he had asked still hanging in the air. She blotted at the crusting clump of blood stained blond hair that been soaked by a cut on his head. He pushed her hand aside, looking into her eyes, searching for an answer as to why she would stay.

“I can’t leave you. Especially not after what you just did. I know it maybe wasn’t for me, but you protected me." She proceeded to clean his wounds as best she could. Spike grabbed the hand that was on his head as he locked eyes with her, not really understanding the answer she just gave him. She looked into his deep blue eyes and wished that what he did earlier was all for her, that it wasn't just because he wanted to piss off the Master of the coven. But who was she kidding? "I have no other choice.” she proclaimed as she tried to convince herself that was the reason why she was here now, tending his wounds.

It was just like how it was over a month ago. Except this time, she was here because she wanted to. She convinced herself that it was motivated by her fear of being taken by Angelus that she stayed with Spike. And that it was this same fear that was pushing her to care for the beaten vampire. She wished she was stronger – strong enough to take care of herself and not depend on Spike. But right now he was all she had. She found another bottle of alcohol for him to chug on. His wounds seemed more emotional than physical, but being of his nature, she knew that there was only one thing that would make him feel better or at the very least calmer. She bit her lip, wondering if what she was planning was prudent. She watched him drink a few more chugs before finally making up her mind. Throwing caution to the wind, she took the bottle he was nursing and ignored the growl he gave back in reply. She moved closer, wrapping both arms around his neck as she moved her neck to his lips.