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Rebellion by Thianna
 
20 - Visiting ; 21 - Admit
 
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Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.

**


Chapter 20 - Visiting

... a few nights later ...

Buffy walked into the hospital with flowers in her arms. The nurse smiled at her warmly as she passed by and headed towards her Mom’s room. She put the flowers down on a table and pulled a chair to sit beside the still figure. She looked around at the different machines in the room her sigh drowned out by the little beeps and whirls.

“Hi Mom. It’s Buffy. Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Just, lots of things going on. I’m fine, don’t worry. Dad’s been sending money but I’m working too. You know, I told you, ‘bout the zoo. Everyone’s nice I guess.” She said with a small smile.

“I know you wanted me to be in college right now, but, just that ... things well … Just doesn’t seem right right now. Busy with work during the day, then the stuff at night. Maybe when you’re better. You’ll get better right?” Buffy looked on, but there was no change. She just saw the subtle rise and fall of her mother’s chest and she resigned herself to be happy with that.

“You know that house guest I told you about before? Oh you remember. He's the one that saved me from that ... uhm ... kidnapper. He took me out of there and protected me. Well, he’s still living in the house. I know you might get mad but I think you’ll like him. He’s nice enough, I guess. I mean he takes care of me, protects me. … I trust him, Mom. Part of me thinks that maybe I shouldn’t but compared to everyone else I trust him. I don’t know who else to turn to. I can’t go to Dad because you know he doesn’t really care, and then…” Buffy paused trying to hold back the tears that were coming.

“I miss you Mom. I wish you were here. I wish you could tell me what to do.” She took a deep breath, somewhat unsure if she should speak her mind but she had no one else to confide in.

“I think I … I've been having these feelings for him. I thought that maybe it was just a crush or just some kind of infatuation. But I think it's really more than that. I ... I love him. I guess I should know better but… but…" she took in a deep breath before continuing.

"We’ve kissed and stuff, but it’s more than that.” Her fingers tracing the marks he’d given her. “I keep saying that I need him because I can’t do this alone. When I go out at night there are times when I feel so lost but when he is with me, everything just seems right. He makes me feel safe. I don’t think he feels the same way. I’ve tried to just ignore it but I care about him. I really care about him. Maybe this is wrong. Everyone tells me it’s wrong, but why does he make me feel complete? I love him, Mom. I guess I shouldn’t but I do." Buffy gripped her mother’s hand and raised it to her cheek, trying to find comfort in that touch.


Out of the corner of her eye, the nurse caught sight of someone in black standing somewhat impatiently against the wall. She looked up, to try and see if she could help them, but all she saw was a blur. She closed her eyes and shook her head, thinking that she made a mistake and needed another cup of coffee to stay awake.


**

Spike dug into his pockets for a cigarette and his Zippo. He took a long drag from his cigarette letting the nicotine calm him down. He waited in the shadows outside the hospital entrance, debating inside his head whether he should wait for Buffy or just go on and find something else interesting to do.

He paced back and forth trying to decipher what he had just witnessed. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop. He just finished a round at Willy’s and headed over to one of the cemeteries that he knew Buffy visited first. But he caught her scent going elsewhere and he followed it here. He kind of wanted to surprise her. He wanted to see if she wanted a bite to eat before continuing with her patrol. But he was the one that got the surprise. She loved him. Despite his nature and history which he didn’t hide from her, (well mostly didn't hide from her) she still loved him. Even after he told her about their relationship was nothing more than physical, she still loved him. Even after what happened a few nights ago, she still felt that way? He almost killed her. He took from her when she didn't offer it. But that was what he was suppose to do. Right?

He took another drag from his cigarette, wondering what he would say when he saw her come out. What could he say? She was the Slayer. He was suppose to kill her not love her, yet she was in his arms often enough and in his bed just as much. He growled softly in frustration.

“I think you’ve tortured the walkway enough.”

Spike turned to see Buffy, a stake gripped firmly in her right hand which she was now moving to tuck underneath her jacket sleeve.

"Hope you haven't decided to sent me to my dusty end, pet."

Buffy looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry. I felt a vampire, but I wasn't really concentrating enough to figure out it was you."

They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Spike was unable to really look Buffy in the eye.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here. I thought you went to Willy’s.” Buffy said breaking the silence.

Spike finished his cigarette then extinguished it with his boot. “I did. Was bored, so came looking for a spot of violence.”

“In a hospital?” her head cocked to one side.

“It’s been known to happen. But was looking for you, love.” He felt her heart beat a tad faster and he could have sworn she blushed and he liked it, the smile tugging his lips upwards. “Feel like eating? I could use some wings and beer.”

“Uhm, was hoping to go patrolling first.”

Spike nodded and started walking. Normally he would walk behind her but he knew with everything that he just found out, watching her hips sway from side to side wasn’t something he needed at the moment. He hoped the demons felt like playing tonight because he had a lot of things to work through.


**

Spike hit the fledgling over and over again. The beaten vampire was pretty much unconscious but Spike was still pummeling him.

"Spike, I don't think that guy can move anymore. Just stake him already." Buffy said from behind him.

Spike grabbed the fledging by the lapels of his suit and shoved him against a large tombstone before rushing to where he landed and twisting his head off. Spike stood up and wiped the dust from his hands on his jeans.

"Problems?" Buffy asked him as she moved to stand beside him.

"Naw."

"Yeah right?! You've pretty much beaten the past five vampires into a bloody pulp before killing them."

"So? That doesn't mean anything, love."

"Maybe not since I know you love your bloody spot of violence." She said mocking him. "But I thought you were the one taught me that a quick kill was always the ideal."

"So you actually listen to some of the things I say?"

"When you make sense I do. ... Which isn't often." She said giggling then sticking out her tongue.

Spike shook his head then turned around. "What am I going to do with you Slayer?"






Chapter 21 - Admit

... a few nights later ...

The night started of pretty much the same. Buffy was on patrol and Spike was at Willy's for some refreshments and information. He wanted information on Angelus, but apparently the only rumor he could dig up was something about some warlock or sorcerer coming into town. He never liked magic, things always go wrong with magic and he could only hope that he'll never hear this rumor again especially not ever together with the Poofhead's name attached to it.

It was getting harder and harder to get anything out of anybody nowadays since news has spread that he was with the Slayer. Unfortunately, he had to result to some insults and lewd comments about Buffy to keep the demons talking to him. He knew Buffy wouldn't approve and would most probably hit him if she found out what he was saying about her. But then he knew she would give him her signature pout which he loved so much. Loved? Did he just think that he loved something of hers? That word has been coming to mind a lot lately ever since he overheard her admitting her feelings for him to her mother. It was easier to ignore the feelings he was having when those three words hadn't passed her lips. It was easier to just concentrate on the heat of the moment. Just think about the sensations she was giving him and not the emotions behind them.

He concentrated on the mug in his hands. It was better to think about food than her. He enjoyed the last drop of his mug of blood and glanced up at the clock, somewhat anxious that the hand would move faster so that he could get out of here. And that was when it hit him. What was he anxious for? Why did he want to leave? The answers were obvious and he sighed realizing that he was helpless. He wanted to see Buffy in action. There was just something with the way she moved when she slayed that lured him. Perhaps it was those hips that would sway or the tight outfits that she would some times wear that just drew you to her ample assets. She reasoned of course that it was for better movement, but Spike wasn't sure if that was the only reason. She was always a little bit more frisky after a bout of slaying, which suited him just fine. He unknowingly started moving his leg up and down.

That was it. That was the answer. He just wanted a good shag. He wanted to feel her skin against his fingertips. He wanted to taste those lips that could speak of lust and tenderness all at the same time. He wanted to be engulfed by her presence as his arms were full of her ... and ... and ... Bugger, who was he kidding? He wanted something more.

"Nervous?" the demon sitting beside him commented.

Spike cocked his head to one side and smiled. "More like anxious." He gave the clock another glance and decided he couldn't wait anymore. He motioned for Willy to come over and paid him before heading out towards his car. Chuckling softly to himself as he opened the door and plopped down on the driver seat. He wanted to see her, watch her slay, see her smile up at him, feel her heartbeat quicken ever so slightly when she found out he was there. He was hooked, she had captured him, and strangely enough, he wanted more of her.

**

Buffy was an animal when they finally got home. They barely made it up the stairs and into a bedroom, both frantically kissing and ripping each other’s clothes off. To Buffy’s credit, Spike knew he had a lot to do with their current intimacy. He watched her from the shadows as she went on patrol. She was a little minx teasing him as she slayed. She must have known that he was watching her because she always seemed to sway her hips a certain way, making sure he saw ever curve and angle of her ample assets. It turned him on all the more and it took all his will power to wait till they got home.

They’ve been at it for over two hours now, resting only to catch their breaths. Buffy took him fully into her mouth and she let her tongue play with his shaft. She raised her eyes to watch him, enjoying the fact that she could pleasure him so. With increased vigor, she lavished him with such attention that Spike could no longer hold back the moans. Soon his orgasm washed over him, but Buffy wouldn't stop, stroking him back to life before joining with him once more. Buffy wiggled and squirmed on top of him, pushing him deeper into her. Her breasts swayed with her every movement and Spike wanted to feel her soft flesh in his hands. Cupping them gently, he let his hands caress and squeeze her soft mounds, his thumb rubbing her now hardened nipples. He let his hips buck upwards, finding a rhythm that made her gasp each time their bodies met. Soon Buffy was arching her back as her muscles tightened around him. Ecstasy washing over both of them as she screamed out his name in pleasure.

She laid her head on his chest, a somewhat delirious smile plastered on her face. Spike moved his arm in that familiar position around her, his hand gently caressing her hair. She snuggled closer, her warmth giving him comfort.

“I love you.”, she murmured into his chest. His hand stopped in slight shock at her open admission. He knew she loved him. He heard her admit it to her Mother. They had argued about their relationship enough times now but he always dismissed it as nothing more than physical. He was able to always steer the conversation into that direction but now she laid it bare. There was nothing to argue about. He could say that she was lying. He could deny it. But for what purpose?

He moved his head trying to see the expression on her face, trying to read any truth into her declaration. But her eyes were closed and the lazy smile on her face didn’t reveal anything else. What was even stranger was that he wanted to respond back. It was wrong, this was wrong… the feelings he was having for this woman, this human, for the Slayer. He knew it was wrong, but she found her way in. This wisp of a girl had found her way into his heart and into his demon. His action tonight at Willy's -- feeling anxious, wanting to see her -- proved that and as he recalled other nights in the past he realized that he had been acting that way for quite some time now. And he felt a little embarrassed. For all his preaching about not being able to feel for a human, about the nights they had as being nothing more than physical, here he was, faced with an emotion he thought he would, could never have with her. “I … feel the same way”, he blurted out.

Similar to his reaction, the small hand that was drawing circles on his chest stopped and he felt her head move up to look at him. He met her eyes and gave her a sheepish smile. He could tell that she was trying to see if he spoke the truth, but the words she spoke showed she didn’t believe him. “It’s okay Spike. You didn’t have reply to that. I understand.”

Spike pulled himself up, to get a better look at her. Looking tenderly into her eyes, “No love, no illusions and more than just this.” He said, letting his free hand lightly caress the length of her side. “I know what I said before. A bloody idiot now that I think about." he moved to clasp her hand then bent down to brush his lips lightly over hers. “You got me, Slayer. I love you."

Buffy looked up at him tenderly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. The night was still young and Spike felt he had a lot to make up for.



 
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