A/N: Forgive me for not updating - I haven't programmed it into my daily routine yet, so I forgot *blushes* I'll try to be more consistent.

Angel bashing in this chapter! Not that Angel is all THAT bad, but for the purpose of the reverse world, he is…


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“Angel is dead, Buffy.”

Buffy didn’t even notice that Spike had become very angry during the topic of Angel, since she was deep in her own stupor. “I told you guys not to EVER mention that fucking wanker in front of me AGAIN!” Spike stormed out, but not before giving Buffy a final hateful glare.

Buffy didn’t know what caused Spike’s overdramatic outburst. He had always hated Angel, but not with this much malice. She didn’t have time to think of that, or feel the hurt at his hateful scorn.


Angel was dead? Buffy stood there blinking as she tried to process the thought. One would expect her to react with clear devastation and depression, like when she had to send Angel into Acathla. Denial. Anger. Lots of yelling and crying.

She went for the denial. ‘It’s not real. He isn’t really dead. This place isn’t real. Nothing here is real’ She chanted to herself over and over.


“Buffy?” Willow asked cautiously, since she seemed to be starring intently at something. “Are you ok?”


Buffy looked at her like she was speaking in a foreign language, before registering what she was asking. She blinked a few more times and shook her head to clear her mind.


“Um…yea.” Buffy asked in a small voice, “How did it happen?”


*****3 YEARS AGO*****


“Angel, this really isn’t necessary!” Buffy was trying to plead with him. She glanced over at Dawn, chained up against the wall of the warehouse, with bruises and cuts over her body. Spike was on the opposite side, chained up, vamped out, growling and struggling to get free to save his sister. She had been oblivious to Angel’s plans.


When Angel had finally told her of his great plot and brought her to the warehouse to witness and revel in it all, Buffy felt uneasy at the sight of what Angel had done to Dawn just to taunt Spike. She was a vampire killer, but she wasn’t a torturer, especially of someone who appeared so much like a little girl half the time.


“Buffy,” Angel ran his hand lightly down her cheek with affection,“I know she looks like a little human girl, but she’s not, ok? She’s a vampire. All disgusting and filled with morality.”

Buffy slapped his hand away, very annoyed. “Angel! You don’t need to do this! Killing HIM was the plan when we came to Sunnydale – slayer of slayers blah blah blah. There was nothing about a kid sister in that…” She turned her back on him and crossed her arms across her chest. “I love you, but you’re being cruel, and it’s scaring me. I’m putting my foot down.”

“Sigh. Fineeee. Spoil my fun,” Angel said with a sulky look on his face, “I still thought it was an awesome plan…”


Buffy rolled her eyes – she hated when he got all broody.


Meanwhile, Spike was hearing every annoying word they were exchanging. He hated the dumb couple, but was thankful that Buffy had some sort of boundary in what she would not do – which puzzled him since she was suppose to be an evil soulless human.


He didn’t really have any more time to think about it, as Angel got a mischievous look on his face and approached him.


“I think its time we play, Spike,” Angel said in a teasing tone, but his face was completely serious.


Spike let out a low guttural growl. He was a bit surprised – he had been observing them, but suddenly he realized Buffy had left the room while he was in his thoughts. His worry for Dawn increased. It seemed hopeless, but Spike had to save Dawn – there was no question about that.


“I think I’ll kill you first, in front of your little SISTER, since Buffy doesn’t want me to torture Dawnie in front of you. Everyone wins. Well,” Angel chuckled, “Except you two of course, but vampires never win.”


“Oh, I can prove you wrong. Here’s why: you’re a great big poofter and I always win.” Spike gave him his classic arrogant smirk.


Angel went to pick up a long sword that gleamed in the light and radiated with power. It was so sharp that you could see your hair splitting as you looked at it. “I’m getting bored. Let’s not waste anymore time. I think a nice dusty decapitation would be great! Don’t you think so?” Angel looked evilly amused.


“Dawnie, pay attention now. This will be your last memory of your big brother, but don’t worry it won’t hurt too long. You’re next.”


At that, Angel turned completely serious, brought back the sword, and swung it with a thrifty but powerful swing towards Spike’s neck.


Spike had his eyes closed. Swiftly, he swung his arms forward with lightning speed and brought the chains into range with the sword. He ducked down immediately as the sword hit the wall behind him right above his head.


Angel appeared shocked and angry. Quickly before resuming to the fight, Spike added, “I told you that you were a poofter. What kind a grand plan involves a sword in range of my chains?”


Spike lunged forward and swirled his body in a 360, whipping the chain connected to his wrists fiercely against Angel’s neck and face. Angel fell with the harsh blow and let out a painful yell, dropping the sword.


Buffy’s head jerked up at his cry – she had left the room because she didn’t like the nagging tinges of guilt she was feeling at being a part of Angel’s plan, but now she regretted leaving, because Angel was in trouble. She darted back into the room to see Spike pummeling Angel and throwing him against the wall. Angel was able to get in a fierce blow to Spike’s gut and a painful elbow to his head. As Spike landed on his hands on the ground in pain, both Buffy and Spike saw that the sword was within his reach.


“Angel! Watch out!” Buffy yelled as she ran forward and leaped up, kicking the sword of Spike’s loose grasp. As she came back down to the ground, she landed gracefully on her feet, but quickly launched her legs up to kick Spike in the head, while her upper body went towards the ground for leverage.


But Buffy took too long of a millisecond to get back up from her kick. Spike had already recovered. He picked her up by her tiny frame and launched her across the room, where she came crashing painfully into the wall. He came toward her quickly and backhanded her fiercely, followed by a direct punch to her pretty face. ‘What a shame’ He thought ever so briefly.


Buffy staggered, but pushed the pain aside to straighten herself, just in time to catch Spike’s arm in a strong grip as he was about to launch another punch. With her hand still gripping his arm, she delivered a strong upper hook to the right side of his chin.


“NO ONE hits my nose!” Buffy added, extremely pissed off that she would have bruises on her face.


Spike was about to get back into it with Buffy…


“Oh Spikeee…” Angel said in a singsong voice. “Look what I got.”


Spike and Buffy froze in their actions and turned in Angel’s direction. They yelled at the same time. “Get the hell away from her, you bloody wanker!” “Angel, no!”


Both of them could tell that Angel was about to bring back the stake and plummet it into Dawn’s heart, as she looked terrified with tears rolling down her cheeks and her eyes shut tight.


Spike saw the sword on the ground. So did Buffy. In a fraction of a second, Spike grabbed the sword and flung it swiftly toward Angel’s form, certain Dawn was safe at that angle. Angel didn’t even have time to react, with how fast the sword came at him. It landed straight into his chest, slightly piercing the left side of his heart.


Buffy’s eyes widened at the sight of it all came crashing down on her. She ran toward Angel, crying his name. Spike quickly freed Dawn, who had fainted. He put her over his shoulder and before he turned to leave, he cast a glance towards Buffy. For some reason, he couldn’t help the thought that crossed his mind, no matter how satisfied he felt at Angel’s condition. ‘Sorry luv’


Buffy was left with Angel, dying in her arms. “Angel...please don’t die! You’ll be ok! We just have to get you to the hospital, everything will be ok, just hang in there,” Buffy sobbed uncontrollably, as she brought her face close to his.


“Buffy,” Angel whispered lovingly with his last fiber of strength as he reached out to brush his hand against her cheek, “…you’ll always be mine.” With that, his weak heartbeat came to a soft halt.


“Noooooo!!!” Buffy cried out in between tears, “Nooo! Angel Angel Angel Angel” she shook his lifeless body in denial, “ANGEL!!!” It wasn’t just that she had just lost the ‘love of her life’ – she felt an intense wave of guilt – on some level, she knew she let Spike win, by allowing him to get that sword as she stood and watched.



******Back in Present day of Reverse World******


It was in these moments that the gang forgot what Buffy really was. Tears were streaming down her face from the gang’s version of her non-existent memories. She seemed so much like just a pretty and helpless girl – they had to constantly remind themselves that this was the same person who had tried to kill them countless times.

“There is NO way I would do those things,” Buffy uttered through clenched teeth and angry tear-stained eyes.


“Well you did. And that’s why you’re not welcome here,” Giles said with a stern matter-of-fact voice. “Listen, if we’re going to even remotely assist you with this amnesia thing, you have to get something straight. We are not your friends. We are not your way to Spike. This thing ... get over it.”

With that, she looked stunned and hurt. This place was tearing her down emotionally – everything and everyone was against her – it was all too much, even if she knew it wasn’t real. With a hurt look toward the rest of the gang, she turned and fled outside of the Magic Box, incidentally right into the arms of Spike.


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At the mention of Angel, he had instantly become angry at the memories. To calm himself down, he stood outside the Magic Box, finishing his smoke and thinking through his thoughts. He put out his smoke with his boot, and turned to go back inside, when all of a sudden a blur of blonde came rushing out, crashing right into him.


His arms came up to grasp her by the shoulders so they wouldn’t tumble to the ground. “Watch out! You silly-,” Spike cut himself off when he finally got a clear look at Buffy’s face. Her face was all puffy and moist, but the tears had apparently stopped, replaced by a look of hopelessness.


Buffy didn’t say anything, as she just looked up into his eyes with a sort of desperation. Still in each other’s arms, they stood like that for a second, not knowing what to do.


She didn’t want to think anymore. Everything around them seemed to freeze. The only thought that she could concentrate on was the fact that she was in Spike’s arms, and her heart was beating rapidly from his touch. She was starring at his lips, which suddenly looked so appealing, and Spike noticed the direction of her gaze, not being able to stop himself from starring at her bottom lip in return.

Buffy suddenly crushed her lips to his in a searing kiss and began to run her hands against his face demanding more. Spike let down his guard and eagerly returned the kiss, with a lust that he had suppressed all this time. Both of them sought to deepen the kiss with increased passion – Spike had pulled her flush against him, and both were moaning into each other’s mouths as they continued to massage each other’s lips frantically. Spike heatedly slammed Buffy against the wall of the building, and his hands began to travel under her clothing savoring the touch of her silky skin. Buffy breathed a raspy breath as his cool hands met with her flushed skin, and brought up her legs to wrap around his waist, pulling herself against his obvious arousal.


Spike tensed at her response and the realization of where this was going. He pulled out of the kiss reluctantly, sliding her down his body onto her feet. With his forehead against hers, he breathed deeply and fought to regain the composure he lost from the lust he had been unable to control.


“What?” Buffy looked confused and very frustrated that he stopped.


“We shouldn’t do this, luv,” Spike stepped back slightly with his hands still firmly on her arms as if holding her back.


“What?!? Why? We kinda already started!” Buffy was frustrated that he stopped their kiss – She knew he wanted it just as much and had felt that evidence in their close embrace – ‘Something’s never change what ever world you’re in. I can tell he loves me even here,’ she briefly thought with an arrogant attitude.


“Because it’s wrong. I would be using you.” Spike said this part with a deceivingly calm and decided tone.


Buffy’s eyes widened with fury. ‘USING ME!?!’ She was outraged at his words. She was about to violently push him away from her and beat him to a pulp when she remembered the CHIP.


“Get your hands OFF of me.” She said calmly, but with heated anger in her tone. ‘I have had enough. Everyone thinks they can push me around. I’m done crying.’ Buffy thought with angry resolve.


While Buffy glared at him with fierce intensity, Spike felt sorry for his words. He knew what it felt like to be used – Drusilla had shown him how much that could hurt. Before he could say another word to Buffy, she stormed off with a permanent pissed off look on her face.


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“Don’t you think this is all a bit cruel and over the top?” said a male voice.

“Well, it IS an abrupt method,” the female said slowly, “but I think it more than gets the job done, don’t you think? Plus, I am having SO much fun watching her squirm.”


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Recap of chapter 3: Angel is dead and Buffy finds out in a general flashback (its artistic freedom ok?). Buffy and Angel = soulless humans set out to kill vamps, especially Spike, who was unofficially deemed the ‘slayer of slayers.’ Buffy gets chipped by the vamp soldiers. Angel kidnaps Dawn to lure Spike without Buffy’s knowledge. Buffy finds out and feels guilt at the sight of Dawn, though she’s supposed to be “soulless.” Spike gets out of his chains, battle ensues (u skimmed that part? Well go back and read it! It took me forever. Lol.) Angel is about to kill Dawn; Spike flings a sword at him. Angel dies with some jerk-y words disguised in a loving tone. Buffy feels she let Spike win and is ridden with guilt. Back to present reverse world, Buffy is upset, runs outside right into Spike. Slight Spuffy ensues. Spike stops it, and tells her they can’t continue because it’s wrong and he would be using her (he wants her physically but its wrong!) Exit pissed off Buffy.Two unidentified voices are talking as they watch Buffy in reverse world. [P.S. Annoying recaps will stop soon. Just thought I'd post what I had written a year ago for kicks, lol]