“Tell you about Dru?” Spike had an uneasy look on his face. He tried to turn her away from the subject, without getting into a fight with her, “….I’m not sure that’s a good idea, pet…plus you usually yell at me to not mention her anyway…”


Buffy knew Drusilla was a sore subject, but she HAD to know how it came that Queen of the Darkness had a soul. “I-, I really want to know, Spike. How am I supposed to remember anything if no one TELLS me anything?”


Annoyed that she had not backed off, he was starting to feel the defensiveness creep back into him. “Forget it – I don’t want to talk about it,” Spike had already put on his determined jerk-mode face. He was casually leaning back against a tombstone, lighting a cigarette, trying to appear strong on the issue.


“Why are you being such a doofus? I thought we had a truce?” Buffy starred at him with annoyance, and a slight bit of disappointment that their truce hardly lasted a few minutes. But Spike remained in his position, only slightly flickering his expression at the reminder of the truce he had offered earlier.


“You know what, fine. I’ll just go find out my information elsewhere. Maybe Leanna is up for some company – I think I’ll just drop by to catch up on old times…” Buffy had turned her back and begun to walk away, throwing in the bit about Leanna in the spur of the moment.


“Whoa! Hold on now!” Spike ran around to block her from stepping further. A thought came to his mind. “Wait a minute, you don’t even know where she lives,” Spike visibly relaxed at that, with a smug smile on his face.


“I’ll just follow the vapid ho smell and voila! Skanks R’ US!” Buffy said with cheerful contempt.


“I actually think you are getting more and more jealous of her…?” Spike raised an inquiring eyebrow.


“WHAT!? Of that ho? You have GOT to be kidding me! There is no jealousy period. I’m jealous-free Buffy!” She finished with an indignant raise of her chin.


“Uh-huh,” Spike, “I believe you as much as I believe that’s your natural hair color.”


“HA! Peroxide Boy is talking to me about natural hair color??” Buffy cried out mockingly. Spike had seemed to forget he bleached his hair more than people did white shirts. His caught look was priceless.


“At least my hair looks way better than yours does! The girls dig the bad boy look – it’s a bloody fact!” Spike finished.


“You mean the Billy Idol look?” Buffy raised an inquiring brow, “You REALLY need to get an update on the present day. Don’t you know you’re so outdated? I’m way hip-per than you are. Ask Dawn.”


“Dawn still wears pink colored pjs – what does she know?” Spike retorted jokingly.


“What’s wrong with pink?” Buffy said in an offended mock tone. She couldn’t help but begin to smile, because she was actually enjoying their banter. And that’s why she froze. Buffy realized she was having friendly banter with Spike. It wasn’t normal. The contempt that was supposed to be there was missing, and all she found was a very confused Buffy. She furrowed her brows at this thought, as the uncomfortable feeling from before crept back into her body.


Spike was confused at her reaction, as he saw her waver in some sort of doubt, but about what?


“I should go,” Buffy resolved, starting to back away hesitantly.


“What is it, luv?” Spike asked.


“Don’t call me that!” Buffy added quickly, his nicknames adding to her confusion.


Spike was about to ask ‘what’ but then he realized what he called her – he didn’t even consciously mean to call her ‘luv’ – it just came naturally, and suddenly, that thought scared him in return. When had he begun letting himself call her that? He didn’t even know.


“Oh…right. Sorry, wrong blonde,” Spike replied gruffly.


After realizing he meant Leanna, Buffy glared at him. “Why are you with her anyway?? I mean, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but she’s worse than Harmony!”


“Harmony? Who the bloody hell is that?” Spike asked, annoyed.


‘He doesn’t know who she is?’ Buffy secretly felt an inner sense of relief that Spike had not gone out with Harmony AND Leanna – one was more than pushing it.


“Is that the ditzy human chit who keeps threatening me with her minions?” Spike inquired with a roll of his eyes.


“Oh…um…yea nevermind,” Buffy replied lamely, knowing that her explanation for bringing Harmony up would get her another laugh in the face.


Spike sighed frustrating breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. After a long moment, Spike broke the silence in a calm voice, “If I tell you about Dru, will you stop being such a crazy chit?”


Normally, she would have retorted with some angry comment, but curiosity held her back. She didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply, but simply gave him a look that showed she agreed.


“Alright…where do I start…,” Spike sighed, scratching the back of his head.


“How about how she got her soul?” Buffy offered quietly.


“Well, when I found her, she already had her soul…I found her in the woods one day when I was walking by and heard some noise. I followed it until I found her there, on the ground, looking like a mess. She looked completely delirious, with bloody cuts all over her…so I carried her back to get help…” Spike raised his gaze away from the ground briefly and saw that she was just waiting for him to continue.


“It was Tara who told us Dru had a soul – she said she could see it burning inside her. We didn’t know how to react because we never heard of anything like it….”


“Why didn’t Drusilla tell you she had a soul?” Buffy asked.


“When I brought her back, she wouldn’t break deliria for a good week. After she came out of it, it took us a while to get the story out of her…” Spike let out a big breath before continuing, “Dru told us she had been cursed. Apparently, before her soul, she killed an entire vamp family, except for one girl who had watched her kill them all. The girl, who we assume was a witch of some sort, cursed Dru with a soul for eternity…” Spike drifted off.


Buffy’s eyes were wide. Not because the story was shocking and horrible, but because it resembled the story of Angel’s soul – the gypsy curse. She hadn’t expected it, though she should of, knowing the rules of this world. “Did…was there a way for her to lose the soul?” Buffy managed to stammer, thinking about how Angel turned into Angelus.


“No…not with consequences…she was stuck with it…and it drove her insane in the end…” Spike continued with his eyes averted.


“What do you mean not with consequences?” Buffy asked, puzzled. And a thought came to her. “Why didn’t you turn her if you loved her?”


Spike’s eyes darted up to Buffy’s, knowing that what he already revealed wasn’t going to be enough to satisfy her curiosity. He hesitated, before continuing, “I loved her. I was naïve, and she was so fragile and she had a soul…She became the only thing I wanted to protect, and I was her prince…” Spike’s expression became unattached, as if he was reliving the memories, “I thought about trying to turn her, more than once…but the others looked into it, and said that the soul would ruin everything…if I turned her, she would lose the soul…”


“Why did she leave then? I remember Giles said something about how she left for your own good…” Buffy knew she was starting to bombard him with questions, but she couldn’t help it, things weren’t piecing together…


“As the year went on, she was getting worse and worse. Soon, she just sputtered nonsense about tea parties and dolls. I loved her anyway, because I was the only one she let into her world…but soon, she started having bad streaks…throwing violent fits…” Spike looked into Buffy’s eyes, as if testing whether or not he really wanted to continue.


Buffy just looked at him in a quiet gaze, with a bit of sympathy in her eyes. She really should care less about Drusilla and Spike’s little twisted love story, but couldn’t help the part of her that knew what it was like to have a love shattered by violence.


It was in her quiet and understanding demeanor that made Spike begin again with his voice deep and serious, “They don’t know what really happened. I couldn’t tell them. All they know is that the soul was driving her crazier than she already was, and…one day while she was having a fit, she got violent…,” Spike’s voice was pained, “I told them that she felt immense guilt after she snapped out of it and wanted to leave for my own good…”


“But that didn’t really happen?” Buffy asked with a furrowed brow.


“Part of it…she did try to attack me one day in a bad episode…but I lied to them. I lied to them because she didn’t leave out of guilt. After the attack, she never came out of her rant...she was completely gone by then…I couldn’t save her anymore…She…” Spike paused, “…she killed a child before I could stop her…and I panicked. I knew there was no way I could excuse what she did, but I still loved her, and I didn’t have the courage to kill her myself, so I let her go…”


She wanted to ask if it was a vampire child or a human one, but knew that it didn’t really matter – not here at least. Dawn was a vampire here, and Buffy understood that either answer wouldn’t make the crime less severe. A part of her condemned Spike for letting Drusilla get away, when she herself had sent Angel to hell, but she couldn’t help the pang of sympathy she felt for him – she knew how it was like to keep a secret, like how she had escaped to L.A. to avoid dealing with everything. She also understood that he had just confided in her something he had never told anyone.


Buffy stepped closer to him, and put her hand on his arm lightly. Spike looked up surprised at her gentle touch and un-angered eyes. Buffy said simply, “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” And her eyes conveyed the truth behind her promise, something that sent an inner flip of Spike’s stomach.


He took a moment, and relished the feel of her hand so gently on his arm. Everything about the two of them always screamed anger and hate – this was something new, something a lot scarier than lust he couldn’t control.


Spike had concluded from past experiences that there was no reason to trust Buffy, but her actions had constantly proved otherwise. Throwing all of those thoughts out of debate, he saw the sincerity in her eyes, and finally replied, “I believe you.”


Neither of them had sensed a third presence around them. They were too caught up in the moment to see glittering grey eyes watching them from afar, hearing every single word both of them had said.


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