Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.

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CHAPTER 10

A/N: Again thanks to Joss Whedon and BTVS writers… some dialogue taken/inspired from the last two episodes of Season 6


"You have nothing further to say to me Buffy. Now move out of the way.”

“I won’t.” Buffy said standing firm. “I don’t want to hurt you Willow.”

“But I do.” Willow said stretching her arms out as lightning danced from her fingers aimed at Buffy. Fortunately, Anya's counter spell was working.

“That’s a good counter spell. Well, if I can’t do magic on you, I can do it to myself.” Willow chanted a few words, black mist swirling around her. "Maybe it’s time you got a taste of your own medicine.” she said with a devilish smile.

“Willow you don’t want to do this!”

“Oh I do. Let’s see what you’ve got Slayer.”

Buffy threw a punch aimed for Willow's face. Willow felt the impact of the blow but smiled when she felt that it didn't really hurt her. With an evil grin, the now evil Wicca returned the favor, hitting Buffy square on the jaw.

Buffy fought back any uncertainty she was feeling because she knew that if she didn’t focus on the fight at hand she would lose. She had to do this to save her best friend. She knew that if she didn’t stop her that Willow would end up going down a path that she may never be able to return from.

Anya continued chanting despite all the destruction her two friends were doing to her beloved Magic Box. She cringed slightly taking a quick peek from her hiding place. She vowed that when they got Willow back to normal she was going to make her pay for all the damages.

Willow with her magically enhanced abilities was able to gain the upper hand and throw Buffy against a wall of books. The Slayer felt the impact and she groaned in pain. Willow stood before her with an evil smirk on her face as she flicked her right hand causing the shelving behind Buffy to start moving.

Spike moved quickly, rushing towards the Slayer. He dove towards the floor, grabbing her in his arms then rolling out of the way as the large bookshelf came crashing down. He held Buffy protectively in his arms checking her over quickly to make sure she didn’t sustain any major injuries.

“Now isn’t that sweet. No matter how many times she rejects you, you still come and save her life. “ Willow said mockingly.

From behind the bookcase Willow finally saw the reason why her spells were being countered. “Looks like I was beating up on the wrong girl.” Anya looked on in fear as she watched the witch warily. She took a few steps back and continued the incantation hoping that it would help.

Willow smiled menacingly and stepped forward grabbing Anya by the throat. "You can't stop my spells if you can't chant. So why don't we put you to sleep."

"Help!" Anya cried out.

Spike looked up too late as he saw the ex-vengeance demon being forcefully thrown on a table. The table broke Anya's fall as she slipped into unconsciousness.

Willow smiled to herself at seeing Anya's still form. A number of spells ran through her head as she contemplated on casting something to make the ex-vengeance demon suffer for helping Andrew and Jonathan escape. Andrew and Jonathan. She should be concentrating on them and not wasting her magic on useless and now unconscious humans like Anya. So now the only person standing in her way would be Buffy. She turned around to see Spike holding the Chosen One close to him.

The master vampire let a low growl rumble in his throat. “You hurt her. I thought she was your friend, Red.”

“Friend? All she did was push me behind her shadow. Everything was all about her. She kept secrets from us … from me. Do you think she even fully trusted us? For crying out loud, she went to you for comfort instead of me. How could a vampire mean so much to her?”

“Bollocks! Do you even hear yourself Red?” Spike said, laying Buffy gently onto the floor before standing to his full height. “She’s given everything she has for you, the rest of the Scoobies and this sodding world. She died! … Twice!… She died to save you and this world from every apocalypse that was thrown your way. Stop this Red! Is this how you want it to end? Is this how Tara would want you to act?”

“Shut up!” Willow screamed as she used magic to fling Spike against a wall. “What do you know Spike?

“Red, you don’t want to do this!” Spike called out.

“You … of all people, you are trying to tell me this? You’re just a broken vampire. A vampire who claims to love a Slayer that can’t love him back. You should know my grief, my pain, my loss. But wait …” she paused in mid-sentence. “What’s this? A spell? You cast a spell?”

Willow started peeking deeper into Spike’s mind trying to figure out what spell he had cast. Spike closed his eyes trying to concentrate and block her from going in any deeper. But the witch’s magic was strong. As the warm blanket that covered his feelings was lifted, a pain started registering in his brain. It was a throbbing, searing pain . It was somewhere near his chest. The “x” marked wound had fully healed but now Willow had reopened it with her digging into the nature of the spell he had cast.. His mind screamed out in agony as he felt her probing even deeper into his mind. “No… Red… stop it!”

“Afraid of what I can do Spike? Funny how someone that hates magic resorts to it so easily.” She said with a smirk on her face as she continued to decipher exactly what he had done. Then realization struck as the nature of the spell revealed itself to her. “So the Big Bad had to cast a spell on himself to make him forget about loving the Slayer. But I guess I can understand that.”

“Get out of my head Red!”

“Why? I’m only sympathizing. I know how much it felt when Oz rejected me. I never understood why he claimed to love me so much but then easily turn his back on me. If it weren’t for Tara … for Tara… she was my world. “

“Get out of my head Red!” Spike cried out once more, trying to ignore the pain and the blood that he knew was slowly soaking his shirt.

Buffy groaned as she stood up. “Willow stop it!”

“Oh so the Slayer still stands. And why should I stop? I’m having fun with Spike here. Toying with him just like you.”

Buffy looked down for a second in shame.

“I wonder Buffy. If I kill Spike would that make me the real vampire slayer? To kill the one vampire that had eluded you all these years?”

“No!” Buffy cried out.

“Why not? You don’t care about him. He’s just an evil soulless creature.”

“But the chip. He can’t harm anyone.”

“Just another excuse from you Buffy.” Willow said as she levitated a piece of wood from the broken bookshelf a few feet from Spike’s chest.

Buffy rushed over to shield the vampire’s chest from the deadly piece of wood. “Don’t do it Willow!”

“Why not? He’s not human. He isn’t even alive. I’m just going to return him to what he should be. Dead and nothing but dust. Now get away from him.” And with that Buffy was hurled a few feet away from Spike, landing with a loud thud on the Magic Box floor.

“Stop that Red! Don’t you dare lay another hand on her.” Spike bellowed in anger.

Willow ignored the angry vampire’s words and made her way towards Buffy. “Why is it that you are always so lucky? You have everything. Strength ... beauty ... friends. People just seem to be drawn to you. Your Mom really cared about you. Dawn thinks the world of you. How many men have easily fallen in love with you? Angel ... Riley... Heck you can even get your enemies to love you. But what do I have? Oz left me. He promised to love me forever and then left. Am I just not good enough? Tara was all I had and now she's gone. You're just selfish Buffy. You have love here with you ... around you and yet you reject it. How could you do that? Do you know how much it hurts? You have men waiting in the wings for you and you don't even care."

"Willow ... that's not true!" Buffy said gingerly picking himself up.

"Not true? Not true? The proof is right before you. Are you that blind? How can you reject such a love? Don't you know how it feels when something like that is ripped from you? Oh, I forgot. You're the one that does the leaving. You're the one that pushes them away."

"Willow, how can you say that?"

"Don't believe me Buffy? I've seen it. You should see it. Guess it would be educational on your part. Are you ready?" Willow outstretched her right hand towards Spike. He let out another groan as Willow probed his thoughts once more. Then, she placed her left hand on Buffy's head.

"Reveal!" she commanded.

Spike screamed in pain as the spell he had cast was ripped to shreds. The comforting numbness that he had felt for a few weeks now was gone. All his emotions for Buffy came flooding back like one giant tidal wave threatening to drown him.

Buffy shuddered at the images that were running in her head. She could hear Spike. She could feel Spike.

... "Do it. Take me out of a world that has you in it." And then there were kisses -- sweet, passionate, honest. "I love you Buffy. God I love you." Then the scene was gone and all that was left was a bed and Harmony and the frightening realization that the dream was true. ...

... Then there was alcohol. There was always alcohol because it felt good to be numb. It was too confusing to think about the possibility that the dream showed what his subconscious really felt. But then he would have thoughts about Buffy... the way she moved... the way her hair billowed in the night time breeze or the way it bounced when she fought. The punches and kicks they shared made him feel so alive. He actually yearned for it. ...

... I knew I was bloody obsessed to have built a damn altar to honor the Slayer. At first I thought I could use it to find faults in her being. Learn about the enemy and what not. Examine her so well to find something to hate about her. But it only made me love her even more. Pictures ... clothing ... Her scent was etched into me and I wanted more of it. I wanted to be with her as much as I could. Part of me felt that it was intruding to be taking all these things from her. But so what? I was the Big Bad after all. I tried on occasion to talk to her. ... Just talk. ... But each time I was reminded of the fact that I could be nothing more than a killer .... nothing more than that to her. …

... She came to me for help. To me! At first it was confusing, but it was a welcome distraction from the mundane life of not being able to kill. She wanted to know about Slayers. ... I could have just lied ... could have fabricated a wild tale of how great the fight was and how much of a bad ass I was and am for killing two slayers. But for some strange reason I told her the truth and then some. I told her of my turning ... of who I was. Why did I show her the reason for my being? Was it so that maybe she would understand? … That was bloody useless. ... She said I was beneath her. ... I just wanted to hold her. I wanted to see if those lips tasted as sweet as the last time. The last time when she was mine ... when she was so happy that we were going to be wed. I wanted to see her that happy again. I wanted to see that smile that was just for me. ... Hope beyond hope that I could make her truly that happy. ... But beneath me? How dare she say such things? …

... I'll promise Buffy. I always knew I'd die in a blaze of glory. But I'll protect you.. I'll protect her. I'll do it because I love you ... because I want to see you smile again. I want to wipe that frown from your face and make you laugh. …

...Twenty days... Has it really been that long? That long since I failed? No! ... I didn't fail.. I saved her last night and I'll save her again tonight.. I just need to believe it. …

... Fifty-seven days now ... Nibblet should be asleep by now. Helped her with homework. But her scent still lingers in this house.. Why do I torture myself like this? I just want her here, even if it's to kick my ass. ... I just want to see her again. …

... One hundred seventeen days ... Whiskey ... Whiskey ... Need the numbness, but memories always find a way of cutting through the haze of alcohol. How many tears have I cried now? She'd laugh at me for mourning so much for her. Dawn. … Have to be strong for Dawn. Have to fulfill that promise I gave to Buffy because if I do that, then at least that was one thing that she wouldn't look down upon. I wouldn't be beneath her. …

... She's back! ... My sunshine was back. ... I wanted to hold her and tell her it was okay. I wanted to show to her that I kept my promise but her friends got in the way. ...

... She was in heaven. She was happy. And though it hurt a little that she hated being here I sympathized at her loss. What can I do to make her smile again? I can see it in her eyes. She hates this world. She doesn't want to be here. What can I do? ... I'd show her the world if she'd let me. But I know that's just wishful thinking. I wish she'd let me hold her. Bah! … I'll just watch her window and make sure she’s safe. ...

... A kiss... She kissed me. And here I thought the place was going to sodding hell with all the singing and dancing. Fell into it I did. Damn demon got me singing my heart out to her and what did she do? I should have killed her. Well no, if I did, then I wouldn't have felt her kiss me. ...


...Slayer flesh beneath me. ...Warmth ... Scent ... Need ... Passion. I wanted it all. I wanted to show her that I love her ... that I worshipped her. .... But it meant nothing to her. I'll make her see ... make her feel what I feel. Each time I touched her, it wasn't because I wanted to feel pleasure. It was because I wanted to show her I loved her. … Nothing worked. Each time she'd run away from me. I’d lay my heart bare and she'd throw it back in my face. All I want is for her to be happy. That was enough for me. I'd take whatever she'd give me and rationalize inside my head that that was enough. I'd do whatever it takes to be with her. I bloody changed for her. ... Why can't she see that? why can't she see that when I hold her and take her, it's not just about lust. It wasn't just sex. ... Not for me. ...


... I can't live like this. I can't have her swimming around in my head anymore. I hate this feeling. Wish I could just turn it off. Turn it off. ...

... What the fuck did I just do? Better yet, why the hell am I feeling guilty over this? I hurt her. How could I do that? The look on her face right before she left me outside the Magic Box felt like she ran me through with a sword. Would have been better if she staked me. Then I wouldn't have to feel like this. Have to apologize now. Have to make her understand what happened. It was all her fault. Pushing me away ... lying to herself that she didn't love me. ... Bollocks! I just want her back. Maybe she'll see. Maybe she'll understand. ... And if not, then I should just forget about it all. That's what she wanted right? I'll give her what she wants because I love her so much. ... I'll shut away that part of me for all eternity. ...



Buffy felt him. She felt the roller coaster of his emotions ... the overwhelming feeling of love he had for her. She looked on in shock at the images being projected in her head. Her eyes fell on Spike. Why had she shut him out every single time? Each time he tried to reach out to her and she perverted it into nothing but a meaningless bout in bed. Sure he had a thing to do with it but she took more from him -- forced him into it even. She used his feelings of love to take what she needed. The last image she saw was his utter sorrow at the realization of almost raping her. She felt a tinge of happiness at the fact that he felt so guilty over what he did. He should. He was wrong to have tried to force himself on her, but at the same time it was starting to make sense what drove him to do it. Given what had happened, she could imagine herself doing the exact same thing. It was still wrong but she was starting to understand the reasoning behind it. ... Spike. ... He was always beside her. He was the only one that, no matter what, understood her and accepted her without questions. He loved her for who she was, for all her strengths and even all her faults.

Tears started falling down her face.

"Now how was that?" Willow asked with slight venom in her voice.

"Happy now Willow? " Buffy looked at her angrily.

"Not quite. I'll finish you, then him. Then I can finish off what I started." Willow picked Buffy up by the throat and started to squeeze.

Then with a feral growl, Spike though weak from blood loss pulled what little strength he had left to stand up. "Don't you dare do it, Red!”

"Make me Spike!"

Spike shifted into demon visage and rushed at Willow. His speed so quick that the witch wasn't even able to put up a spell as she was also preoccupied with Buffy. He knocked Willow from Buffy. " I told you not to lay a finger on her!" Spike wrapped his arms around Willow tightly and clenched his jaws as Willow's magically enhanced body tried to free itself from his grasp.

With an icy stare, the witch used magic to pull the vampire's arms away from her. "Well if you don't want to see me hurting her, I'll just kill you first." With that, she freed herself from Spike and flung him across the room.





A/N: Just two more chapters to go. Thanks for all the reviews. Hope you like this longer chapter guys. Keep on reviewing!