Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.

**



CHAPTER 11

A/N: Again, thanks to Whedon and BTVS writers. Some dialogue from the last episode of Season 6.


Willow leered at the vampire when he hit the opposite wall with a loud thud. She was feeling pretty pleased with herself. It wouldn’t be long now. She’d get rid of the pesky Scoobies that were in her way then she’d finally get to exact her revenge on Jonathan and Andrew.

"Vincire!"

A bright ball of green light engulfed Willow, trapping her and her powers in some sort of force field.


Buffy picked herself up and looked towards the doorway where she saw the flash of light that had engulfed and trapped her best friend. Relief washed over her at the sight of who it was. "Giles!" she said running towards him and hugging him tightly.

“Buffy … need to breathe…”

“Sorry!” she said releasing him. “I’m just so glad to see you.”

Giles smiled at her tenderly. “I missed you too.”

Buffy looked at Willow who was now gently floating in the middle of the Magic Box, limp and surrounded by greenish light. “What did you do Giles?"

"I contained her and her powers in a binding field. I just hope that it’s enough to hold her. "


A few feet away from the happy reunion, Spike groaned in pain.

"Spike!" Buffy said rushing towards the fallen vampire.

The Watcher looked at the couple curiously.

Buffy knelt beside the master vampire and gently pulled his head onto her lap. She looked him over, noting that he seemed paler than usual. She accidentally placed a hand on his chest which made him yelp loudly in pain. Her palms felt wet and slightly sticky and she turned it upward to see what it could be. It was thick and it was red. It was blood and it was only then that she noticed the small pool of blood that was slowly growing larger beside Spike.

"Did Willow do this?"

Spike chuckled weakly. "You're so smart, pet! Can't get anything past you."

Buffy glared at him as she unbuttoned his shirt and looked on in horror at the x-shaped wound that didn't seem to stop bleeding. This wasn't possible. It didn't look like anything but a shallow knife wound. It was nothing a vampire would have problems with but it kept on bleeding.

"Giles?!"

The Watcher looked over as he helped the ex-vengeance demon up to her feet. "What's wrong Buffy?"

"It's Spike. This wound. It won't heal."

Curiosity got to the Watcher and he made his way towards his Slayer. He bent down to examine the wound she was referring to. “Seems like a shallow enough cut. It is quite puzzling why it hasn't at least stopped bleeding."

"What did Willow do?" Anya chimed in.

"She must have done a spell. ..." Buffy said half lying. She didn't think it was important to clue them in on Willow showing her exactly how Spike felt.

"It's ... the ... spell... Willow ... cast ... ripped it. She tore it up." Spike said weakly.

"What's Spike talking about or is he just being delirious? Why would Willow remove a spell from Spike? I don't remember hearing her cast one on Spike to begin with."

"That's because she didn't. … Spike did." Buffy said solemnly.

"So that's why you two have been acting really weird towards each other lately."

"Uhm ... why exactly would Spike need to cast a spell?" Giles asked as he removed his glasses to clean them.

"Well you see Spike and Buffy were giving each other orgasms in secret. But Buffy stopped it and Spike was looking for a spell that ... uhm ... day. … Yeah, he wanted something to ease the ache. So now I'm assuming he found one, right Buffy?"

Buffy could only nod in agreement as she found herself holding on to Spike's right hand and not really wanting to let go. She felt it. She felt everything that he had felt. ... She felt all the love that he had for her. She couldn't deny it now. She couldn't hide behind her chosen mantra about him being soulless and unfeeling. And despite everything that she had done to him, despite the number of times she had pushed him away, he still cared. Even through the spell that numbed him, he still cared.

She had dreamed of a love this strong for so long. Deep down she knew that Spike might be the one. But everything and everyone around her told her it was wrong and foolishly she allowed herself to believe it. She finally understood. She finally saw with clarity what she had with him and now it might not mean a thing if she was going to lose him.

"Giles, you can do something right?"

"I can try, not that I'm going to be particularly found of this idea ... but …" Giles placed a hand over Spike's chest and mumbled a few incantations. The Watcher's hand started to glow and light started to move from his hand to the vampire's chest. The wound stopped bleeding and started healing immediately. Satisfied, Giles moved his hand away. Soon as the Watcher’s hand left the wound, the vampire’s skin seemed like it was being sliced apart, and blood started oozing out of the wound once more.

Spike clenched his jaws together not wanting to scream in front of the lot of them even though the pain felt almost unbearable. It felt like a knife was being twisted into his flesh.

"This is highly unusual."

"Which spell did he cast?" Anya asked.

"I don't remember the words. There was something about sealing his feelings ... and there was blood and this metallic powder."

“Anything else?”

“Candles, pet. … Got a bunch of … them.”

“Remember any of the incantation, Buffy?”

“Uhm … something about sealing his feelings. … Forgetting it until … uhm … I think the last line had dust or bone.”

“Hmmm. … That sounds like it’s one of those conditional spells. It’s a spell that involves a certain action that has to be performed in order for the spell to work.”

“Ah yes,” Giles said taking his glasses off once again to clean them. “But those spells can easily be countered. That doesn’t explain what’s going with Spike here.”

“I’ve done a few conditional wishes in my time. I understand how the principle works. We have a couple of options. We can ask Willow to reinstate the spell she destroyed, which seems highly unlikely she’ll do. We cast a counter spell to negate the spell that was in place, but Spike has to cast it. Or we have to find a way to just negate the condition altogether.”

“Huh? Can you please repeat that in English for those of us that don’t do any of the magics?” Buffy exclaimed.

“It’s simple really.” Anya said with a tinge of excitement. “Spike cast a spell to numb him until a certain condition is met, which I’m assuming means till he meets a dusty end. But since Willow ripped the spell, well more like the seal apart, as I can see is the case based on the ogle eyes Spike is giving you through all the grunting and pain, the spell is now trying to fulfill its condition. The seal would be in place till he dies. Since there’s no more seal, he has to die.”

“Bloody ‘ell!” Spike managed to say somehow.

“We have to help him!” Buffy pleaded.

“Well can we at least move him into the back? You don’t know how hard it is to clean blood and after all of this I don’t want to have to close the Magic Box for an extra day just to clean blood from the floor.” Anya quipped.


**

“Buffy is everything okay?” Giles asked as Buffy put the phone down.

“Dawn’s fine. Jonathan and Andrew gave them the slip, so Xander is taking Dawn home. I didn’t think it was best that they come back here.”

“That sounds wise.”

“What are we going to do about Willow?”

“This magic that I have is borrowed magic. A coven in Devon sensed the rise of an evil power here in the Hellmouth. They had a seer there that saw a vision of what happened to Tara. They then lent me their magic and I hurried over here. The coven is currently working on a way to safely remove Willow’s powers without ... uhm ... physically harming her."

"Do you think they'll be able to do it?"

"I hope so Buffy. I hope so for all our sakes."

She nodded, her teeth nibbling on her lower lip. “And Spike?”

“I had a couple of ideas but none of them seem to work. We tried a couple of counter spells but nothing. I’m sorry.”

Buffy started biting her lower lip, obviously worried with what Giles just told her. She took a deep breath before walking past him and into the training room. As she opened the door, she found Spike trying to stand by supporting himself against a wall.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like, luv? Am Standing … trying anyway.”

“Spike, in your condition…”

“Thanks for the concern, pet, but I’ll be fine.” No sooner had he spoken those words that his right knee buckled.

Buffy rushed over to him. “You’re in no condition to be moving about.”

“No need for the pity trip, Slayer. This is what I get for not following my own advice about mojo.”

“I’m sorry.” Buffy blurted out.

“Don’t, Buffy. Don’t start that again. I get it okay. I know you’d never love me. I know that I’ll be nothing more than your dirty little secret. I thought I was okay with that, but … Bugger! We’ve been through this before.” He raised his left hand to cup her cheek fully expecting her to step away from him. To his surprise she leaned into his hand.

“Is that how you really saw me?”

“Huh?”

“You’re feelings … memories … I mean I heard you say it before but, your words …your …” Buffy really wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. Willow had made her see what was truly in Spike’s heart. She had felt it all.

She felt Spike’s uncertainty and slight nervousness each time he was around her. There was the quiet resolve in his being when he accompanied her to her house that night they faced Glory. Then, there was grief at seeing her dead body when she jumped to save them all. He was so torn inside and it made Buffy feel like she couldn’t breathe when that memory crossed her mind. His grief was compounded by the seemingly endless days and nights without her. She knew that the last thing he wanted was to stay in Sunnydale. Everything here somehow reminded him of her, and having to protect Dawn didn’t help any. The house still smelled of her, but Spike subjected himself to it. He buried his grief for a few hours to make sure he kept his promise and kept Dawn safe. She heard him think out loud that if he could just kept his word, that he was being the man she would have wanted … could have loved .

Then she felt his moments of momentary joy – when he saw her alive, when she had given him a crumb and kissed him, when lust took over and he found himself with her, beside her, in her. Each time they’d kiss or she’d let him touch her, he was in heaven. But she knew now it was beyond lust. True, he wanted to take her night after night, but it was more of an expression of wanting to show her how much he loved her, more than physical pleasure. It was just that that was the only way she would allow him to be with her. She shut him out from any possible type of real relationship with her. So he waited, hoping she would come around and see him and his love for what it truly was.

Then there was the feeling of his self-loathing for having hurt her, not once, but twice in a span of a few days. He was angry and frustrated and just wanted to forget.

Then finally, the desperation that drove him to go through with the spell. He hadn’t intended to force himself on her. He wanted to make her feel for him again. That was how their relationship started, and stupidly he thought, if he could just make her scream his name in ecstasy it would be like it was before. She screamed alright. He caused it too, but it wasn’t because of pleasure.

He did the spell. He did it not so much for himself, because loving her though painful made him feel alive and that felt good. He did it because he was Love’s bitch. He did it so that he could stop hurting her. He felt that this way was the best way to show just how much he really cared. He was going to do what she had asked him to do. He was going to move on. He was going to squash his love for her and seal it for all eternity. He would willing kill that part of himself that felt like he belonged in this world so that she could be free.

“ … So I can be free. You … The spell. ... You cast the spell for me.”

He nodded slowly. “I found the spell, but I was ‘oping that maybe I could still win you back. Then I acted like a … There aren’t enough words to describe what kind of a wanker I was. I knew then I had to do it. I ‘ad to do it to give you your life back. Like you said, I was just convenient. I couldn’t stop Buffy. Even with what ‘appened in the … out there … with Anya, I found out that there was no moving on for me. There was only you and I couldn’t ‘ave you.”

The pain on his chest was stinging. “Maybe you should tell Rupes and Anya to stop looking for a spell. Maybe this is ‘ow it should be, luv. I’ll be out of your ‘air for good.”

Buffy shook her head. “What if I don’t want you to be gone? What if I want you here with me?”

“Don’t play with me, Slayer. It’s time we got off this roller coaster.”

She leaned closer to him and gently pressed her lips against his. At first, Spike was too shocked to react but as her lips conveyed her need, he closed his eyes and returned her affection.

She finally broke contact and gave him a small smile. “Bite me.” She said under her breath.

“Buffy?”

“Did I stutter? You heard me. I’m the Slayer. My blood should be able to help you.”

“No… I’ve lost so much. … I might end up …”

“Don’t Spike.”

“Don’t?”

“Don’t be like the others. Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do as if I was a small child. Now, bite me!”

Spike hesitated for a moment, then leaned down and sunk his fangs into her neck in the same spot he bit her before. Slayer blood spilled into his mouth and it felt right. This felt right. He was losing himself in the feel of her body against his and the taste of her blood as it coated his tongue before traveling down his throat. He wondered if she knew exactly what she had done. She had offered her blood to him out of her own free will.

Buffy waited for the pain of his fangs entering her flesh but the pain hardly registered in her brain. This was so different from the time she offered herself to save her lover at the time – Angel. She knew Angel wanted to be gentle but the need for and anticipation of Slayer blood made him lose control just a tiny bit. He had held her possessively, almost too tightly. But this was nothing like that. Despite the pain which she could tell Spike was in, he was gentle. His hands were on her arms, squeezing slightly not out of possessiveness but because he was too weak to hold himself up. She knew his demon was relishing the taste of her with the way his tongue was lapping up her essence. But he pulled slowly, savoring the gift she gave him.

He pulled away from her, licking his lips clean. She looked at him quite puzzled. Angel had pulled more from her. She didn’t know when Angel stopped drinking or when he claimed that they fell to the floor, because she had blacked out before any of that happened. Spike didn’t take much from her at all. She felt a little dizzy but nothing more. His eyes looked at her tenderly.

She gave him a puzzled look, wondering why he had stopped drinking. She leaned into him once again, but he gently held her at arms length.

“Spike, you need more.”

“No.” he said shaking his head slightly. “Don’t want to ‘urt you. Would never want to ‘urt you, luv.”

“I know Spike. You would never do that. In the end, you always thought about me and what would make me happy. You did it, you know.”

“Did what, pet?”

“You made me happy. … It scared me. It made me question everything I had believed in. It was easier to think that our relationship was nothing more than physical because if I truly let you in then I felt like I was going to lose who I was. I realize now that you were always there for me. I know that no matter what you would never abandon me. I pushed you away because if my relationships with Riley and Angel didn’t work, then how could one with a soulless vampire ever work. It would have just ended up with me getting hurt and I didn’t want that.”

“And now, pet?”

“You told me that real love burns and consumes but that trust wasn’t necessarily in the equation. I told you that a love that burns and consumes will only destroy everything till there’s nothing left. We were both wrong. What we had Spike wasn’t right. It wasn’t right because real love, … true love, does burn and consume because both parties trust the other totally that they aren’t afraid to lose a part of themselves to become complete with each other.”

He tilted his head to one side, wondering what she was getting at, refusing to let a part of him hope because he was sick and tired of hoping and waiting.

“I don’t want you gone, Spike. I want you here.”

“Why? You don’t really need me around.”

“Yes I do. I need you because I realize now, only you can complete me.”

Spike’s brow furrowed, looking at her questioningly.

“I’m ready now. I want you to show me. I want you to teach me.”

“Teach you what, Buffy?”

“About love.”

Spike couldn’t believe his ears. He was convinced that he was hallucinating from blood loss because there was no way in hell that Buffy was just admitting this to him. But he felt her soft lips brushing against his again and a certain calmness was washing over him. The slight ache in his head was gone and his chest was no longer stinging. He pulled back from her in disbelief as he pulled his shirt away to reveal the x-marked wound slowly healing. The bleeding had stopped and his skin was knitting itself together.

Buffy smiled and leaned her head against his chest. “Stay with me?”

Spike lifted her chin up. “I love you,” he said before pulling her in for a passionate kiss.




**
A/N: Just one more chapter left to tie up all the loose ends. Thanks for reading guys and love all the reviews.