Chapter IX: Fear is the Most Elegant Weapon



By the time Spike made it back to the house, the night was fading into early morning; it would only be a few more hours until sunrise. He stood before the front door to the house and took a deep breath. The cool night air felt cleansing deep in his lungs. He looked down at his bloody hands and couldn’t help the smirk that came to his face.

Tonight had been as much of a rebirth for him as crawling out of his coffin had been. He had let go off all the pain he had been holding deep inside himself and it left him with a feeling of resolve. With the newfound clarity he also remembered who and what he was. He wasn’t some businessman, nor was he someone who settled when it came to love. He was William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, fourth descendent from the Master himself.

Now that Spike was back in control of himself he planned on taking back what belonged to him. No longer was he the Slayer’s whipping boy, or the lovesick fool stalking her through the shadows. He knew now that Buffy was meant to be his. For her demon to recognize him the way it did, he knew that he had been right all along, she did love him. Even if the woman he knew no longer existed, she was still his Buffy on some level, and he planned on taking back what belonged to him.

At first Spike had blamed the soul for changing him and making him forget the rules he used to live by, but then he realized that it hadn’t been just the soul. He had slowly begun to doubt himself ever since Drusilla had left him. Then having a chip put in his brain and falling for the Slayer hadn’t been real affirming for his self-esteem. By the time he had been resurrected at Wolfram and Hart he was no longer the man he had been, he was more like a watered down version of Angel. He had even come to believe, as Angel did, that to really love Buffy he should stay away from her. He ignored his own nature and the nature of his demon, living like a human, letting his fears guide him.

Although even when he had been human, William, the insufferably weak ponce that he was, before he was turned, had not let fear run his life, especially not where love was concerned. William had always believed that love would be the power that overcame everything, even the deepest and worst fears.


First though, he needed to talk to Raven, it was only fair to her. As much as he didn’t want to hurt her, she needed to know that he had come to accept that the only woman for him was Buffy. He did have genuine feelings for Raven, but they were stale and diluted compared to the emotionally inspiring passion he felt for Buffy.

He cracked his neck preparing himself for the worst when he faced Raven, then he entered the house and walked quickly upstairs to their room. When he got there he found himself face to face with three stone-faced Hogoshas and his bags packed, lying near the door.

“Raven…”

”Save it. I saw her when she came back to the house. I saw the marks on her neck.” She glared at him. “What a coincidence they match the ones on your neck.”

Spike sighed. There was no arguing with her; Raven knew vampire lore better than most vampires. It was part of the training she underwent as a child. She knew that it was virtually unheard of for a Master Vampire to mark a younger vamp, even if they were family. Angel had done it to Spike when he was first turned, but it was only to establish dominance and teach him, since Drusilla was incapable.

He knew he could try to convince Raven that he was doing just that, enforcing the family connection in an attempt to gain control over the volatile Slayer, but he couldn’t lie to her anymore.

”If it makes you feel better I almost got staked for it.” He told her.

Raven raised an eyebrow at him, a gesture she had gotten from him. “Her boyfriend?” She asked coldly.

He gave her a small smile. “No, actually it was Buffy.”

Raven let out a bitter bark of laughter, it sounded strange coming from the normally cheery woman. “Nice girl you chose there.” She said.

It was Spike’s turn to let out a bitter laugh. “It wasn’t about a choice.” He bent and picked up his things. “It was…” But he couldn’t continue. How could he explain that Buffy was as much a part of him as his demon? There was no choice to be made or if there were it had been made a long time ago and not necessarily for him. The Slayer was his mate, his other half. He’d have a better chance of asking it to rain up instead of down than to deny his love for her.

But he couldn’t tell Raven that. It was bad enough she suspected he never really loved her as he thought he had, but to give her that confirmation would just hurt her too much. So instead he said. “You don’t have to stay, you know. I told you before this isn’t your fight.”

Raven visibly stiffened and her eyes opened wide. “You think I would abandon my duty because of this?” She asked incredibly.

Spike cursed himself internally for putting his foot in his mouth so wonderfully.

For all her wild clothes and progressive ideas, Raven had still been born and raised in a very conservative part of Japan and many of their ideals were ingrained in her. He had basically just questioned her honor.

“Bloody Hell!!! I didn’t mean…”

Raven just held up her hand to stop him. “Just take your things and go.” She told him formally, and then turned and walked into the bedroom, one of the other girls followed her leaving Spike alone with the other.

He could tell she was a Slayer by the tingling that remained with him. She was slightly taller than Raven and her face was more round. She was also built more heavily than Raven, but Spike had no doubt that it was all solid muscle.

She looked at him venomously. Spike met her eyes levelly, refusing to back down from her stare. “I never meant to hurt her.” He told her sincerely.

The girl shook her head and looked at him disgustedly. “That is the problem with lying to yourself, it is usually other people who hurt because of it.”

Spike let her words sink in. “Right.” He nodded, knowing full well how right she was, he thought her eyes softened a bit with his admission, but he couldn’t be sure.

He turned to walk out of the room when her voice stopped him. “And my name is Myoko, if I here you call me anything other than that I will rip your head from your body.”

“Got it, M.” Spike said before darting out the door, he knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to bait an already pissed off Slayer, but he just couldn’t help himself.

Spike looked down the hallway wondering where Giles’ room was located. He needed to talk with the Watcher because now that he wasn’t bogged down with all of the emotional baggage he had been able to puzzle out some of the things that had been troubling him about this situation. He had known something felt rotten, and he was sure it was more than just Riley’s attempts to kill him, but his preoccupation with Buffy had kept him from figuring out what it was exactly.

He was just about to start sniffing out the Watcher when the screaming began to sound up the stairs.

As Spike raced for the stairway he could hear doors opening behind him as the others came out to see what was going on. He noticed a flickering light speed by that had to be Pixie. As he bounded to the bottom of the stairs, Helena appeared at the top, she gracefully leapt over the railing and landed on the floor beneath, directly in front of him.

He followed her towards the training room in the back of the house, as he did he heard Xander shout, “Will!!” behind him and realized it was indeed Red’s voice. He raced along faster.

He entered the training room on Helena’s footsteps and saw Willow immediately. She was writhing on the floor crying and yelling. Buffy stood a few feet away simply staring down at her impassively. Spike froze at the sight of Buffy as the others rushed past him to see to Willow.

Xander slid to the ground and scooped her up in his arms, at the contact her yelling subsided slightly into loud sobbing. “What the hell did you do to her?” He demanded of Buffy over Willow’s crying.

“She was warned.” Buffy growled at him.

Shadow appeared out of the floor, next to Buffy, just as Giles and Dawn arrived. Dawn immediately went to Willow’s side, while Giles looked to Spike to see what was going on. At his blank look Giles approached Shadow and Buffy.

Angel stood next to Spike as they all but faced off with Pixie and Helena across the room. Raven, Myoko and Mimoko stood in the doorway and Illyria stood off to the side. She could read the emotions in the room as clearly as the others could see. The tension was thick and she prepared herself for the violence that would occur.

“What is the meaning of this?” Giles demanded. Shadow looked at him completely unperturbed by the rage he saw in the other man’s eyes.

“I’d like that to know that myself.” He directed the comment to Buffy.

“She was trying to use magicks to get inside my head, you told me she had been warned.” Buffy finished with a shrug. She walked over and picked a towel up from off of the ground appearing to put the entire situation from her mind that easily.

Giles almost turned purple at her attitude, but before he could say anything Shadow spoke. “I thought I told you to get some rest.” His voice was dangerously quiet

Buffy turned back to look at him. “I was too keyed up to sleep and since you weren’t around I decided to get some training in.”

Shadow walked over to her and began whispering quietly, but the vampires could still make out what was being said. “Go to the room and let me handle this.”

”Fine, but she was trying to break down my mind, she wanted to incapacitate me. Why else would she have done what she did without asking?” Buffy countered.

“I’ll deal with them, you just go up to the room.”

“Remind me why we had to take this job again?” Buffy asked him coolly, Shadow just gave her a look that obviously spoke volumes because Buffy gathered the rest of her things and walked to the doorway.

She came face to face with Raven standing directly in the middle of the doorway. She gave the slightly smaller girl a small mocking smile. “Excuse me.” She said, her tone just as mocking.

For a few seconds Raven didn’t move and Spike was worried she was going to attack, everyone in the room seemed to ready themselves for the battle that was about to occur. Just when he was certain there was going to be bloodshed, Raven’s eyes flared once and then she stepped aside to let Buffy pass. Spike let out a silent sigh of relief, he knew that if he was no match for Buffy now then there was no hope Raven would last a minute with the other woman, even if the other two girls jumped in to help out

Willow’s crying had gotten much quieter now, but she was still sobbing uncontrollably. Giles turned to Shadow. “This situation is intolerable. We do not wound innocent men, we do not blackmail the government and we do not hurt our own team members. We are supposed to be on the same side!! And don’t give me that bollocks about ‘that is why we hired you.’ You would do well to remember that we did indeed hire you and we can just as easily fire you!!”

“Really, all your talk of fair play and yet your witch was trying to get into my Slayer’s mind to break down her walls and drive her crazy.” Shadow retaliated. Spike growled quietly at Shadow’s claim that Buffy belonged to him. She may be sleeping with him, but Spike was certain that she did not belong to him.

“What did Buffy do to her?” Giles demanded.

“That’s the funny thing, Buffy didn’t do anything. Your witch just ran into the security system Buffy has in place in her mind, so no one could enter without her permission. Its kind of like an electric fence, only this fence is made of bad memories pain, and fear.”

“Willow was only trying to help her.” Xander snapped from his spot on the floor.

“You all need to get it through your heads once and for all, Buffy does not want your help. She isn’t broken, she doesn’t need you to fix her.” Shadow snapped. “You want to lecture me on working together, than try to respect my team members wishes.”

“From now on we will leave her alone.” Giles informed him as he stepped closer to the other man. “But the next time a member of your team hurts someone on ours we will not hesitate to retaliate and we will hold you responsible.” He told Shadow menacingly.

“Really Ripper? And just how do you plan to do that?” He questioned Giles. Giles muttered a few words Spike couldn’t make out and went to grab him. Of course, Shadow melted down into the ground, but Giles’ hand seemed to follow him into the shadow. When he raised his arm he had Shadow’s neck securely in his grip. “Don’t underestimate me.” Spike and Angel could both hear the promise of violence in Giles voice.

Shadow grinned at him. “Well its about time one of you lived up to your reputation, Ripper.” Giles let go of him with disgust.

“Keep pushing and you’ll find out you aren’t the only ones who can be deadly.”

“Oh, I think we’ve come to an understanding, as long as you leave the Slayer alone we shouldn’t have anymore problems.”

“Fine.” Giles turned to look after Willow.

“All of you?” Shadow persisted; he looked directly at Spike as he said this.

Spike grinned at him and sauntered to the middle of the room to face him. “Do you want the truth or should I just lie to make you feel good?” He asked him cockily.

“Spike…” Giles warned from his spot on the floor.

“Whatever happens between the Slayer and me is between us.” Spike told Shadow.

“She will kill you.” Shadow pronounced.

“But what a way to go.” Spike’s smile grew bigger.

Shadow shook his head before disappearing down into the floor.

Giles stood up and grabbed Spike’s elbow. “Did you lose your soul? Or is it your mind you’ve lost?” He asked him.

Spike glared at him. “Neither, but we need to have a little chat about our new friends.” Giles turned to look at Willow still crying in Xander’s arms. Spike could read the concern on his face and knew what the Watcher was thinking. “Xander is calming her down, she won’t be able to tell us anything for quite a while by the looks of things and this is important.”

Giles nodded his agreement. “Yes, there have been some developments here, as well, that you should be aware of.”

“We’ll need Blue to make sure we aren’t overheard. You collect her, I’ll grab grandpa.”

“Right.” Giles turned and spoke softly to Xander and Dawn before he walked over to Illyria.

Spike walked over to Angel. “We need to have a conversation, Peaches.”

“Does it have anything to do with those marks on your neck or the fact that Buffy’s scent is all over you?” Angel asked dryly.

“Actually, no, you swishy wanker, it doesn’t.” Spike snapped back. Giles approached with Illyria.

“My room would be the most secure, I believe, it is the farthest from the other bedrooms.” He said quietly.

Spike shook his head. “No, we need to go outside the house.” He insisted.

“It would be wiser to discuss things outside of this house.” Illyria agreed. “They can hear everything here.”

Giles looked back a Willow concerned and again Spike knew what he was thinking. Was it safe to leave them here by themselves when they were currently defenseless? Spike’s gaze wandered to the doorway where Raven still stood with the other two girls and suddenly Spike knew how to kill two birds with one stone. He walked over to her.

“I need you to do something for me.” He told her quietly. She looked up at him in surprise. “I need you to keep an eye on things here. See what our new friends do to keep busy and make sure no one can get the drop on the others. I need to have a conversation with Blue, Angel and the Watcher.”

Raven’s look of surprise turned into one of reflection. She nodded her head at him agreeing to his request. Spike knew that even though she was still be upset over their breakup, she would feel much better now that he showed her how much he appreciated her skills and trusted her. Raven said something in Japanese to the other two girls and they immediately slipped out. This time Spike was certain he saw something besides disdain in Myoko’s eyes.

Spike nodded back at the others and they immediately followed him out of the training room to the front door. They had just opened the door when Dawn came hurrying behind them. Spike turned as she approached. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Spike asked her.

“With you.” Dawn informed him as she put on her jacket.

“Like hell, Nibblet. You need to stay here and help the Whelp take care of Red.” Spike turned away dismissing her.

Dawn reached out and grabbed his ear twisting it hard and yanking his head down towards her. “Listen up, WILLIAM.” She said loudly in said ear. “I am going with you whether you like it or not. There are some things you need to know.” She gave his ear a sharp twist. “And stop calling me Nibblet.” Then she let him go and headed out the door into the night, the others followed after her with Spike taking the rear complaining about the damn stubborn Summer’s women.


Back in the training room Xander sat on the floor with Willow in his arms talking softly to her. Raven left her position in the doorway and approached him once Dawn left.

“Maybe we should take her up to her room. She may calm more quickly laying down.”

Xander nodded his head at the petite Japanese girl, but didn’t stop his quiet words to Willow. He moved his arms underneath her, so it would be easier for him to carry her, and stood up. As he and Raven turned to leave, Helena spoke up.

”I have some herbs that may help her to rest.” Xander stopped walking and exchanged a look with Raven. Neither of them felt comfortable trusting the cat woman, not with everything they had heard about her and not with what they had seen so far.

“Thanks for the offer, but we can handle it from here.” Xander told her, just as Willow’s crying grew louder.

Raven put her hand on his arm indicating he should wait. “What kind of herbs do you recommend?” She asked Helena.

“Oh she can’t really help you.” Pixie laughed. “Whoever heard of a helpful kitty?” There was a bright flash of light and they could hear her laughing as she flitted out of the room.

“She’s kind of annoying.” Xander muttered.

“I would make a tea with Black Currant, Chamomile, Heather, Hawthorn, Lavender, Lemon balm, Motherwort, Marjoram, Passion flower, and St. John's Wort.” Helena told them. “That way not only will she get some sleep but it will also help relax her so she can better let go of the dark feelings still inside of her.”

Xander sighed. “I don’t really trust some herbal tea coming from a Jaguar demon who happens to also be a vicious killer.”

Helena stiffened visibly. “Fine. I’m sorry I offered.” She walked past them out of the room.

“The herbs she was talking about would help to calm the witch down.” Raven said to Xander. “I am also familiar with them so I would be able to watch and make sure that she doesn’t add any extra ingredients.”

Xander looked at Willow, who still hadn’t been able to talk or do anything but cry. “Its worth a shot, I guess. I’ll take Willow up to her room while you talk to Helena.”

Raven left to chase down, while Xander headed upstairs with Willow. Once he had her lying on the large bed he stroked her hair lightly. “Come on Will. Talk to me.” He whispered, but Willow just continued to cry.

Xander what it was exactly she saw inside of Buffy’s head that would have this kind of effect on her. How could someone who had once been his best friend do this? Did Buffy mean it when she said she no longer cared at all for them? How was that possible? How did you turn off all emotional attachments completely?

Xander also wondered about Shadow and the Rogues, he had a feeling they were about as trustworthy as Riley’s soldiers.

Then there was Riley. Granted Xander had never been close friends with the soldier, but he had considered him a friend. How could Riley have ordered his men to do those things and why would he do that? Didn’t he realize after all his experiences that playing games like that in the middle of an apocalypse wouldn’t help?

Briefly Xander wondered what his life would have been like if he hadn’t become friends with Buffy all those years ago. Would he have a normal life now? He would still have both of his eyes. But would he have become like his parents, locked in a loveless marriage and stuck with a child he couldn’t stand the sight of?

He let out a sigh. The truth was he wouldn’t trade his life the way it was for anything, but even still he had regrets. Anya being his main regret. He wished she were here with him now, he could use her matter of fact speech right about now. While Illyria reminded him of his ex-fiancée with her blunt speech and her tendency to take things too literally, she was far from the warm, happy girl he had once loved.

Sometimes he wondered if Anya was really dead. What happened to ex-vengeance demons turned human when they died? Did she move on and was she at peace or had she been resurrected as Spike had?

There was knock at the door and Helena and Raven walked in with a steaming mug that actually smelled pretty good.

They got Willow to sit up and drink down the hot concoction. It worked almost immediately, her crying slowed to sniffles and she fell into a restful sleep. Raven looked at him with compassion.

“You need to get some rest. You will be no good to her if you are exhausted when she wakes. Go get some sleep I will watch over her.”

Xander wanted to argue with her, but he knew she was right. He ran a hand through his hair.

“I guess you are right. Let me know if she wakes up.”

”I’ll come and get you right away.” Raven assured him.

Xander and Helena both left the room together.

“Thank you for your help.” Xander told the strange woman before him. He noticed how beautiful her eyes were, similar to that of a vampire, but only green instead of the bright gold color.

“My father was a healer and he was training me to follow in his footsteps. I would never offer help unless I meant it.” She told him.

Xander studied her for a moment. “You’ll have to forgive my distrust. This situation hasn’t exactly bred good feelings.”

Helena nodded, in understanding. “However, much of what is commonly known about me in Brazil in not exactly accurate. You should know this before you judge me.”

“There is still the matter of the soldiers you attacked earlier.” Xander responded.

“Would you prefer they were left to try and kill members of our party? I was under the impression this mission would be hard enough without having our team cut in half by treachery.”

”Your boss doesn’t think it will be so hard.” Xander countered.

Helena was silent for a moment. “I have worked for Shadow for several years now and he has never given me a reason to mistrust him.”

“And Buffy?” Xander asked, wondering if she could give him any insight into his old friend.

“The Slayer keeps to herself. She is not what you would consider a ‘friend’, although I do trust her with my life. She has been there in a pinch for me time and again. I wouldn’t have the answers you are looking for regarding her.”

Xander wandered if there were any answers that would help him understand the woman who was once his friend.


Meanwhile, downstairs in his office, Shadow sat on the phone. Jason was on the computer next to him, while Simon stood watch over the two soldiers they had in captivity.

“Major Finn, we have a problem.” He said into the phone.

“You are damn right we do!!” Riley answered him. “What is the meaning of attacking my soldiers? They were supposed to be there as backup!!”

”You know perfectly well we don’t need any back up. I assumed that giving us a common enemy to fight would make them more likely to trust us.”

”Then you underestimate them.” Riley told him. “Is that the problem you are experiencing?”

“One of them.”

“What’s the other problem?”

”William the Bloody has decided to fight for the attentions of my Slayer.”

”He doesn’t give up does he.” Riley said bitterly.

“I don’t have to tell you that all of our plans will be for nothing if he manages to reach her.”

”I thought you said that was impossible.”

”I thought it was, but he managed to get through to her demon earlier.”

”Do they have any idea yet that Buffy is the warrior of stone?”

”None what so ever.”

“Good.” Riley sighed. “We need to get rid of Spike as quickly as possible.”

”I have already thought of that, but I don’t think a disappearance or a murder would help our cause much.”

”No, I have a better idea.” Riley told him. “I couldn’t get the ground vehicles you requested, but there is someone in the city that has access to these types of machinery. The thing is he won’t just hand them over to you, someone will have to fight for them.”

”Fight for them?”

“His name is Henri and he runs the local demon fight club.”

“Ah, so I get Spike to fight for our vehicles and he accidentally dies in the process.”

“Don’t underestimate, Spike. He’s worse than a cockroach.”

“Give me the details on this fight club. Simon and I will take care of the rest.”



Chapter 10

Spike took the others out into the now fading night and down the street. They moved silently along the quiet, narrow streets. The vampires, as well as Illyria, had all of their senses extended for anything that might be prowling around that would be dangerous for their human companions.

They crossed Kathmandu Dunbar Square where vendors where already beginning to gather and set up their goods for the day. The thin air was pungent with the smell of incense coming from the temples. Giles recognized the smell of hashish, as well. It reminded him of his youth, misspent with Ethan Rayne, often they had talked of the power that lay in Nepal. It was a deeply spiritual country, and while it was primary religion was Hinduism, there were many who practiced the black arts. Some even said the current King had cast a spell on his nephew, causing the twenty-nine year old crown prince, to shoot his entire family before turning the gun on himself. Giles didn't necessarily believe all that, but he knew that they were in a very dangerous part of the world. He paused to reflect briefly on the fact that he was trusting his life to two of the most vicious vampires in history and a demon older than time itself. He really was getting too old for all this.

Spike led them to a door set in the middle of a long stone wall. He knocked a few times and the a panel of the wood opened two reveal a large suspicious looking blood red eye.

"Tell your boss that Spike is here to see his establishment per his invitation." Spike spoke confidently. When there was no immediate activity behind the door, he leaned up close. "I'd get a move on if I were you mate. I know what your boss is like when he gets upset and making me have to wait will definitely upset him."

The wood slid back into place and they could hear something large shuffling off.

"Where exactly have you brought us?" Giles asked Spike, his irritation had everything to do with the unease he felt over this situation.

"Relax Watcher. This bloke used to be in my club once or twice a month. He always ran up a huge tab that we cleared up for him a time or two. He always said if I ever made it here I should look him up."

"What kind of guy is he?" Angel asked suspiciously. "I think we have enough people around us we can't trust right now, don't you?"

"Don't get your arse hairs in a knot, Peaches. I don't propose we trust this fella, I just thought we could get away from Shadow's eyes and ears."

"What if this guy works for him as well?" Giles persisted.

"I don't think its too likely. I think he's on the opposite side." Before Giles could ask Spike what he meant, the door opened and a large creature came out in flurry of colors.

"Spike!! What a surprise? Who are your friends? And where is your partner?" The creature was a head taller than Angel, his skin the color of blue chalk, long black hair flowed down his back almost to his knees contrasting with the bright colored silk clothing he wore. He resembled a human male in body shape, but no one could ever mistake him for a mere mortal. His face was so smooth and beautiful it seemed to be carved from marble, and the features were so refined they were almost feminine. There was also the matter of the two extra arms. When he spoke his voice was as smooth as his skin, and sounded almost musical. Dawn found herself captivated by him.

"Lorne is actually here with me in the city, but I think he's turned in for the night." Spike wondered though, only now realizing he hadn't seen the green skinned demon since the Rogues had arrived.

“Well, come in. What can I do for you? Would like some entertainment for you and your friends? Or maybe some companionship?” He asked as he led them across an ornate courtyard filled with religious statues and erotic carvings.

“We just need some place private we can sit and have a chat, enjoy a few drinks, mate. You always said your club offered those secluded little bungalows where your clients could meet and drink in private.”

“Of course. Please come with me.” They followed him to the back of the courtyard, and through a lush garden, where, in the middle, hidden by large sweet smelling trees, sat a large, octagonal building. “This is one of our nicest bungalows, we save it for important political leaders, or businessmen. I can guarantee you privacy.”

They stepped into the bungalow to find it lit brightly from ornate torches along the wall, their light reflecting off the walls made of a dark colored wood and polished to a brilliant sheen. In the center was a large table made from the same wood as the walls, surrounded by large plush cushions made from different shades of velvet. On top of the table sat a brass hookah, next to it was a tray with a pitcher and six blood red, crystal goblets.

Everyone seated themselves around the table on the cushions.

“Now what can I get you and your friends to drink? We have a very nice blood, taken from a virgin.” Giles eyes widened in shock.

“No thanks, I’ll just take a whiskey.” Spike said.

“I guess I’ll have the same.” Giles agreed. “I have a feeling I’ll need it.”

“I’ll take one too.” Angel requested.

“As you wish.”

”I’ll have a Coke.” Dawn said quietly.

”You are delightful, I must say.” Their host smiled, at Dawn causing her to blush profusely. “I would love to show you around Kathmandu while you are in the city.”

“I don’t think so, Henri.” Spike addressed him by name for the first time. “She belongs to me, and there is no way she is for sale.”

“Belongs to you!!!” Henri was surprised. “What does Raven have to say about this?”

Spike tightened his lips.

“OH!! I mean…,forgive me. I didn’t know, I meant know offense.” Henri stuttered, he made sure not to look in Dawn’s direction again. “Can I get you anything to drink?” He turned to Illyria.

“What is that smell?” She asked him pointing at the hookah.

“Why that is opium, some of the finest in the country. Would you like to try some? Please help yourself.”

“Yes. This is a drug humans use to alter their reality. I would like to see its effects on this shell”

”NO!!” Angel, Spike and Giles all said at the same time.

“Perhaps before we leave then.” Illyria amended her answer.

“I will leave you in private now.” Henri said with a smile.

They waited until he had left then Illyria stood up and walked around the bungalow they were in. She would stop every couple of feet, turn her head as if studying the wall in front of her before waving her hand and moving on. When she had made her way around the entire room she sat back down. “It is safe to speak now. We will be alerted if anyone approaches us.” She told them.

Spike began before anyone could ask him about his encounter with Buffy. “What did Whitebread have to say to Shadow?” He asked Giles.

“He was understandably upset. He told him that he would need time to get together the machinery he requested.”

“Do you really think he wanted to kill you?” Dawn asked.

Spike just raised one eyebrow at her. “He’s been itching to dust me since he figured out he wouldn’t be able to keep a handle on your sister.”

“But would he order Buffy killed too?” Angel wondered.

“Did he deny it?” Spike asked Giles.

“No he didn’t.”

“I thought he said he couldn’t give us any help because the American people were watching too closely.”

Again Giles answered. “He did tell us he couldn’t send us any aid, however, rumors have long circulated that there is a CIA base located here in Nepal. Supposedly they are training guerilla fighters.”

”Bloody Hell.” That was exactly the kind of thing he was worried about.

“What is it you’re thinking?” Giles asked him.

“I’m thinking we have the two biggest Evils on one side trying to kill us, while on the other side we have the American Government and in the middle we have the Rogues working for both of them. And not only that, they got us to pay them for the privilege of killing us.”

“I admit I don’t agree with their tactics, but surely…”

”I think Spike is right Giles.” Dawn interrupted him. “Well, I don’t know about working with the government, but I don’t think they’re on our side. That’s what I wanted to tell you. When that Jason guy was showing off his program I saw a document he already had translated. It looked to be from the same prophecy we are translating, but it wasn’t a part we have.”

“How could you tell?” Angel asked her.

“Well I recognized some of the symbols around the border, they are the same ones that are around the edges of the pages we have. Then when I got a closer look at the translation and I saw several references to the Warrior of Stone.”

“So they probably already know where it is.” Angel said thoughtfully.

“I think they already HAVE it.” Dawn said. “It would be such a great tactic. They get us to help them transport into Bhutan. They separate our strongest fighters and send you down into the tunnels to look for a vicious army, while the rest of the team basically is left unprotected. I mean how hard would it be to pick us all off like that.?

“Do you really think all three are working together, then?” Angel asked.

“I doubt it. Whatever faults he may have, Riley would not be a party to ending the world.”

“I don’t know Watcher, think about how well you could spread ‘peace and democracy’ if you had the backing of a ‘Thunder Dragon’.” Spike said. “I think it would be best if we assume that they are all working together.”

”Do you think Buffy is part of the plan to kill us?” Dawn asked in a small voice, her gaze was locked on Spike.

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know.” He told her.

“I think we’ll have to assume ‘yes’ on that, as well.” Angel said, his voice was cold.

Spike looked over at him sharply. “You let me worry about, Buffy.” He told his grandsire in a growl.

“Did you, er, speak with her, then?” Giles took off his glasses and started polishing them. He knew if he didn’t he would stare at the bite marks on Spike’s neck. What did those marks mean he wondered? Had Spike been able to get through to her?

“I spoke with her and she almost staked me for my trouble.” Spike shook his head. “Shadow was right about one thing, you need to let go of the worrying over the Slayer. All of us were so caught up in trying to find her that we almost walked completely blind into a trap. Now we need to figure a way out of it and still manage to save the world. It would be for the best, if you all start thinking of her as your enemy, instead of expecting her to be the same person she was.”

“And while we’re doing that exactly what are you going to be doing?” Angel asked him suspiciously.

Spike stared at Angel hard. “Disgusts you, doesn’t she, mate?”

Angel blinked. “What?”

“Ever since you came to my place, every time Buffy is mentioned you act like she would be better off dead. You seem disgusted by what’s happened to her and you act like it was her fault.”

”I know it wasn’t her fault. I’m just can’t believe she gave up that easily.”

“I thought we needed to be concentrating on getting out of this trap.” Dawn tried to get the vampires back on track.

“Someone is coming.” Illyria said suddenly and everyone quieted down as Henri opened the door, carrying a tray with their drinks. He quickly passed the men the glasses of whiskey they requested, before leaving the bottle on the table. He put Dawn’s glass of Coke in front of Spike, who passed it to her.

“Is there anything else I can bring you?” Dawn was glaring at Spike wondering why the blue skinned man suddenly would do anything but look at her.

“No thanks, we’re good.”

“Forgive me for prying, but I have heard rumors that you have sold your club. This isn’t true is it?”

”I’m afraid it is. I’ve gone back to a previous line of work.”

Henri looked confused, but Spike didn’t say anymore. Finally realizing he got all the information he was going to get out of the vampire Henri turned and left again.

Giles took control before Angel and Spike could start bickering again. “What do you propose we do about this situation then? Surely we can’t let them separate us knowing what we do.”

No one answered as everyone tried to consider the options.

“I have an idea.” Dawn said. “You’ll still need to split up, but you could leave Willow with the ground team. We can tell them that because of her experience with Buffy her magic will be burnt out for a while. Willow has friends out here in the Himalayas, she could call them in for help as they travel.”

“Dawn, its true Willow spent time here in this part of the world learning to control her powers, but I’m not sure what a monastery of Buddhist monks could do to help.” Giles answered her.

“What about a Buddhist Monks/Werewolf?” Giles looked surprised.

“You mean…?”

“Oz.” Angel answered for her.

“He lives with some monks somewhere in the Himalayas that are also a pack of werewolves. If we could get word to him maybe he could be the backup we are looking for.” Dawn told him

”Not a bad idea Nib, er, Dawn.” Spike corrected himself when she shot him a poisonous look. “If Red isn’t actually too burnt out to use her mojo to call him.”

”That covers the ground team, but what about us? We’ll be going in blind, miles from any civilization. For all we know they are going to offer us up to the Thunder Dragon’s army.”

“Once we arrive in the tunnels I should be able to get a sense of how things are set up. Also, if we can find one of the stones that he used to capture his excess power, I will be able to use that to help.” Illyria told them. There was silence as the humans and vampires around the table exchanged glances. “You don’t trust me to help you if I regain my full powers?” Illyria asked them.

“Its not that we don’t trust you.” Giles began.

“No, we don’t trust you.” Angel said at the same time. “You haven’t given us much reason to trust you.”

“Standing by your side and fighting the Wolf, Ram and Hart was not reason to trust me? Staying with you since then and helping your causes is not reason to trust me?” Illyria demanded of him.

“That has been since you lost your powers. If you still had them you would be searching for ways to enslave the world, wouldn’t you? Besides where else could you have gone?”

Illyria tilted her head and considered his words, it was easy to see she was angered by what Angel said.

“I trust you, Blue.” Spike said. Everyone, including Illyria looked at him in surprise.

“You trust her?” Angel demanded.

“Yeah.”

“Care to elaborate?” Angel persisted.

“No. At some point you have to make a decision on who you can and cannot trust and I think Blue will stand by us.” Illyria stared at Spike as if she could see right through him.

“You speak the truth.” She stated. “But you trust me because of your fondness for Fred.”

“Not exactly.” Spike said. “I know Fred is gone, I know you aren’t her, but there is enough of Fred inside you that I don’t think you would betray us.”

Illyria gave him a cold smile. “Your logic is hopelessly flawed, if that is the same logic you are applying to your Slayer then Shadow is right: She will kill you. The human emotions inside of her are so fragmented that she will not use them to make any decisions.”

”I know, but that doesn’t change some of the facts. And the fact remains the Slayer is MINE.”

Spike looked directly at Angel as he said this daring him to contradict him, but Angel was too amazed at his proclamation to say anything.

”What does that mean?” Dawn asked.

“It means, that no matter what happened to your sis or who she is now she is still the person I’m supposed to be with and I’m going to get her back no matter what it takes.”

“No matter what it takes?” Giles said. “What if that means you join her, with the Rogues? Do you then participate in the apocalypse?”

Spike just shook his head, again at a loss to explain the connection he felt to the Slayer. “No. It means that hopefully I will be able to get her away from all of this before it comes time for the apocalypse.”

“We need you here, Spike.” Angel told him.

“Yeah, but she needs me more.”

“I can’t believe you are willing to risk the end of the world, just to continue your obsession with my Slayer.” Giles said angrily.

“Oh please, this coming from the man who agreed to hire mercenaries just for the opportunity to see her!!!”

“Someone is coming.” Illyria said, but no one listened to her.

”Spike you’ve admitted it yourself, Buffy isn’t in there, no more than Fred is still inside Illyria.”

”But part of Fred is still inside Illyria, whether she wants to admit it or not.”

”Someone is coming.” Illyria said again, not focusing on the conversation around her instead focusing on the approaching creature.

“You are being foolish and single minded.” Giles insisted. “We need strong fighters by our side, we can’t afford to be distracted by Buffy.”

Spike looked at him incredulously. “Isn’t that what I said when we got here?”

“Well you should learn to take your own advice.”

The door opened and Henri entered quietly, but Spike didn’t notice him he was too worked up. “Listen to me, you lot haven’t been there for her for the past 8 years, you’ve all admitted it. Someone needs to be there for her, unconditionally and let her know that no matter what happens they are on her side. That someone should have been me, but I was too screwed up to know it, but now I’m back and nothing and no one is going to keep me away from her. Not some ‘shadow’ and certainly not some apocalypse. Do you understand me Watcher?” The last part came out as a growl and no one in the room doubted for a moment the sincerity of Spike’s words.

“Forgive my intrusion.” Henri’s quiet, smooth voice interrupted them, Spike looked at him startled to see him there.

“I tried to tell you.” Illyria said as she began to sniff at the hookah.

“Spike, may I have a word with you in private?”

“Anything you have to say you can say in front of them, mate.”

Henri hesitated. “I’m not sure, it has become known to me that you have enemies here in the city.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Spike muttered. “It all right. I can trust these folks.”

“I was just informed that you will be participating in my fight tournament tomorrow.” Henri said. Spike raised an eyebrow at him.

“Really?”

“Yes, I believe you are looking for ground transportation to take you into Bhutan.”

There were glances exchanged around the table. “That could be true.”

“Well I have access to such vehicles, but they are prizes to be won. You must best my combatants, in the arena before I will let them go.”

“I see, and you were told I would be the one entering this contest?”

“Yes, although the parties involved made it very clear that they had other fighters to enter the arena in the event of your demise.”

Spike snorted. “What did you tell them?” Spike asked.

“The same thing I will tell you. My tournament is, and always has been, a fair fight. I will not compromise that for anyone.”

“I understand.” Spike nodded. “Thank you for that.”

“There is no need for thanks. It is the way it has always been. Personally I look forward to seeing you fight, the skills of William the Bloody have long been legendary.”

Spike forced a smile on his face, remembering the ease with which Buffy was able to beat him. “Well, we’ll see what happens.”

“I will leave you again to your privacy. I did not mean to intrude, but I thought you should be aware.”

“Who approached you about this? Was it an English chap with blonde hair?”

“They sent a representative with a message, I’m not certain where it originated from. Would you like me to find out?”

”No, I pretty sure I know who sent it. Thanks for the heads up.”

”Certainly.” Henri again left.

“You aren’t actually considering going along with this?” Angel asked him.

Spike didn’t answer him, he felt exhaustion deep inside, both from the events of the evening and the emotional toll it had taken.

“Blue why don’t you light up that pipe. I have a feeling I’m going to need it to get some shut eye. Especially if I’m expected to fight tomorrow.” He handed her his lighter.

“I don’t think drugging yourself is the best plan right now.” Giles said.

“Oh you are smoking too Watcher. You need the rest more than I do, you look like shit. Besides, we already know when they are planning on trying to kill me. No reason to assume they’ll attempt anything before then.”

He picked up one of the mouth pieces attached to a tube leading back to the hookah and handed it to Giles. Giles looked at it for a moment, before he took it begrudingly. “Oh what the hell,” He muttered before taking a hit.

The sky was now turning into a shade of pink as they made their way back to the house. Next to Spike, Angel started humming quietly to himself.

Spike turned to him. “What is with you and that Cat Stevens song? I mean I thought Barry Manilow was bad, but this..” He asked his grandsire.

“At least it has a melody, Spike. What musical talent did Sid Vicious have?”

Dawn turned back to look at them from where she and Illyria were helping Giles, who had all but passed out. “Guys, save it for inside the house. We don’t need you two frying because you stayed out until daylight debating music while high on opiates!!”

The two resumed their walk to the house their walk to the house as they got lost in their own thoughts.

Once they reached their impromptu home Dawn and Illyria walked Giles up to his room and put him in bed. They were just turning to leave the room when he began to speak.

“Life is never what you imagine is it?” They both turned surprised. Giles’ eyes were open, but unfocused as he stared out the ceiling. “I can’t help, but think of all the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I’ve tried to make them all right, but some things you just can’t repair. I wonder if this is how Angel feels?”

“Giles, it isn’t your fault we’re in this situation. This is just the drugs talking.” Dawn scolded him gently. “That’s why Nancy Reagan says ‘Just say no’. Not that I really remember that.” Dawn knew she was babbling, but she didn’t really know what to say.

Giles had been like a father figure to Dawn. Actually he was the closest thing to a father she had ever really known. All of her memories of her ‘real’ father were just images created by monks. The man lying before had been the one who had been their since her creation. It was hard for her to see him hurting and in doubt. He was always the one who seemed so certain and in control.

“If I had known, what being the Slayer would do…” Giles voice trailed off slightly. “If I had known the pain it would cause her, I would have taken her as far away from the Hellmouth as possible. I never wanted…” Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. “I failed her.” He finished in a whisper.

At that moment Dawn had an epiphany, it could have possibly been caused in part to the opium smoke she had inhaled just by being in the room, but suddenly things became very clear to her. She felt as if she grew up in that moment. She realized that she needed to be strong for the people around her. All of them were struggling right now, as much as she was, and they needed and they would need each other to make it through this. She couldn’t waste her time wallowing in her own self-pity.

“Giles, you can’t blame yourself for what’s happened. Besides, Buffy was lucky to have you for a Watcher. Not only were you her teacher and her trainer, but you were like her father and she knew how much you cared about her.”

Giles eyes focused in on Dawn and he seemed to remember himself. “Thank you, Dawn.” He told her sadly with a small smile, acknowledging her attempt to ease his conscience, if not actually doing so.

Dawn leaned over and kissed him on the forehead lightly. “I still think of you as my father.” She said quietly before leaving the room.

The tears in the corners of Giles’ eye brimmed over. He forgot Illyria was still in the room until she spoke. “There is sickness inside of you.”

Giles closed his eyes. “I suspected as much, which is why I haven’t gone to the doctor.” He told her.

Illyria studied him for a few moments. “It is unwise for you to continue this journey, you will probably die sooner if you go on.”

“They need me. You are not to tell any of them.”

Illyria approached him and leaned in close to him. “You are like Wesley, you will die fighting for what’s right and it won’t make any difference.”

Giles smiled at her, and looked at her with sympathy. “You miss him terribly don’t you?”

Her eyes widened and she quickly left the room, leaving Giles to try and let go of his guilt enough to get some sleep.

Meanwhile Angel and Spike had climbed the stairs to the second floor. Spike found his things, still sitting at the end of the hall, where he had dropped them in his flight down the stairs.

“The room on the other side of me is empty.” Angel told him. He waited for Spike to make another comment about his music, but he just nodded at him as he collected his things and walked to the door. He turned to Angel before walking inside.

“Did you ever consider taking Dru and I with you?” Spike asked him. “When you ran out on us after the soul, did you ever even consider it?”

“No, I didn’t think you would want to come with me.”

”Oh, I wouldn’t have, but Dru would have followed you into a bonfire. Soul or no, it wouldn’t have mattered to her, she would have just been happy being with you. I probably could have tolerated you better if you weren’t torturing me all the time, too.”

“You would have never stopped killing, Spike. I couldn’t have put up with that.”

“The point is you never even tried. You were so certain we would let you down you just didn’t even try.”

Angel didn’t know what to say to him, he couldn’t believe Spike of all people was lecturing him on his responsibilities. Towards him and Dru, no less.

“With the soul or without you are still the most arrogant son of a bitch? That’s why you left Buffy the first time, because you were afraid she couldn’t measure up to your expectations of her. She was starting to lose the magical shine that pure innocent love has. Once the day to day routine settles and you find out that underneath the angel was a regular girl, you left. That’s why she disgusts you now, you put her on such a high pedestal. The star crossed romance, the true love.” Spike mimicked him.

“You don’t know anything about it.” Angel began.

“And I am the fool who keeps trying to imitate you. I did when I was just a fledgeling and here I am doing it again. That’s why I never tracked her down, I was trying to be like you. I thought to really love her, I had to put her on that pedestal and worship her from afar. I was so busy trying to build trying to compete with you for her in being the better person, I forgot about her. She was everything and somehow I forgot that.”

“I get it why you feel disgusted by her and why you are so angry with her, I do.” Spike continued. “I was mad at her for giving up, for letting them beat her, but then I realized, she wasn’t beaten, she still survived. Even though she was different she was still Buffy. Her demon recognized me, and not just as family. I could feel it, feel her.”

Spike looked at Angel sharply. “She felt your disgust for her, she may not be full vamp, but make no mistake she is family and she knew what you felt towards her. You rejected her again, that’s why she attacked you.”

“How do you know that? She was out of her mind. Besides, Buffy rejected me long before that. It wasn’t me she wanted Spike.”

As quickly as it came the fight went out of Spike. His shoulders sagged and he turned back towards the door. “You need to learn to trust in people Angelus and let go of some of your expectations of them. It might go a long way towards reconciling that soul of yours with your demon.”

Spike opened up the door and went inside. Angel entered his room and picked up his cell phone. He listened to the ringing on the other end, he honestly had no idea what time it was where he was calling. After about 15 rings a sleepy voice picked up on the other end. “Hello?”

”Conner.” There was a silence, then Conner answered him.

“Apocalypse time again?” He asked him.

“How did you guess?”

“That’s the only time I ever hear from you, then you disappear and I don’t know if you’ve made it until the next one.”

Angel winced at the resigned tone in his voice. “This time it’s a bit different.” Angel took a deep breath. “I need your help.”

Even thousands of miles away Angel was certain he could picture the look of surprise on his son’s face. He was surprised with the immediate response.
“What can I do?”


Chapter 11

After Spike entered the small room and put his bags down, his weariness hit him hard and he was anxious to get a nice kip. Unfortunately, when he lay down on the bed, the Opium, combined with the events of the past few days had his mind jumping from topic to topic, heedless of the need his body had for rest.

He managed to shut out the thoughts of his Grandsire and his musings on the whole ‘soul’ business. Then he pushed his concerns about their current situation out of his mind, by telling himself he had done his duty in bringing it to the Watcher’s attention, it was his job, now, to find a way out of this mess.

If he was going to be kept awake because his mind was on a roundabout, Spike had other things he would rather concentrate on.

Buffy. A smile crossed his features. His Slayer.

He tried to focus his mind on her.

First, he pictured her dancing at the Bronze from the first time he saw her.

But that didn’t work. That girl was vastly different from the woman he now loved. Instead of dwelling on the reasons for those changes, he pictured her the way she was, now dancing before him.

He could see her; body moving seductively in a dark club, the dark clothes from earlier were replaced with a silver breastplate and a black skirt held around her waist by a jeweled belt. The outfit was similar to the one worn by Aaliyah in the movie ‘The Queen of the Damned’, only without the stupid headpiece.

Spike’s mind started to wander off again, as he remembered what a horrible movie that was. Even worse than the first one, if that could be believed.

Spike actually met Anne Rice, once; he had been planning on killing her for propagating all those myths about vamps. Yet, after he spent a few minutes talking to her, working himself up for the kill, he found out she wasn’t that bad, despite her romantic notions about vampires. Her writing wasn’t even that terrible, once he had a chance to read it, although, he preferred her books that had nothing to do with vampires, like the Feast of All Saints.

Spike had found it extremely amusing that she honestly believed vampires resided in New Orleans. The reality was that no self-respecting vampire would ever be caught in New Orleans.

First of all there was the smell, the stench that rose up from the sewage grates and drains, which overflowed every time it rained, which happened almost everyday in the summer. Combine that with constant smell of urine and vomit that permeated the French Quarter and then throw in the smell of stagnant water pooled in the swamps at the edges of the metropolis and canals that ran through the city. It was enough to curb even them most vicious vamps bloodlust.

Then you had the meal selection itself. Since killing locals usually led to discovery, most intelligent vampires knew to drink from tourists or visitors. In New Orleans, the main tourist attraction was partying and drinking. Feeding from a tourist who was completely drunk, just didn’t quench a vampires appetite, usually they got drunk before their hunger was satisfied. Plus the high alcohol content made the blood thin and watery, not a very appetizing meal.

Realizing how far off track his mind had again wandered Spike again tried to focus on Buffy, wanting images of her to lull him to sleep. An evil grin crossed his face as he relived their earlier fight. He remembered the taste of her blood as it ran down his throat, even now hours later he could still feel her power running through his veins, warming him in the most delicious ways. He undid the fastenings on his pants as his cock hardened with the memory of the taste of her. He knew that even the small taste he’d had of her tonight would be enough to increase his strength dramatically by tomorrow, hopefully enough to give him the edge in his fight tomorrow night.

He wondered exactly what kind of creature he would be fighting. He considered asking Illyria to spar with him when he awoke to help get his reflexes back, before rejecting that idea. There was only one person he wanted to spar with; the trick would just have to be getting her to agree to it.

Spike didn’t think it was going to be too difficult to worm his way back into the Slayer’s life. The way she was now; with her uncaring attitude, and her preoccupation with fighting and violence to relieve the pressure her demons asserted on her, actually made her an easy target for him. All he was going to have to do was use logic to get her to accept his help. Like explain to her that she would have a much easier time controlling her demon if she had someone to help her mentor it.

The only problem would be the Slayer side of her, Spike knew that he was going to have to best the Slayer in a fight to gain dominance over it and thereby gain its respect. Something he was nowhere close to ready for, and given the amount of power it possessed, it would be a long time until he was ready.

Getting frustrated with his meandering thoughts, that weren’t giving him the tranquility he needed to get to sleep, again he centered his thoughts on his Slayer.

Once more he conjured the image of her dancing in a dark club, the silver outfit leaving little to the imagination.

Spike had to admit, as much as he loved her long golden locks, the color she had now was equally becoming in the way it contrasted with her skin and made her eyes glow. He envisioned how beautiful she would look with flowing dark hair down her back. He closed his eyes, this was the image he was looking for. He settled into his fantasy of watching Buffy dance for him, while he absently rubbed his erection. He could see her clearly in his mind, every movement, every muscle flexing and moving as she danced. He knew from personal experience all the subtle movements her body could make as it flowed sinuously. It was that memory that changed the fantasy so now it wasn’t Buffy dancing for him enticingly, but Buffy riding him, just as she had their last night together. It didn’t take long for an orgasm, more powerful than he’d had in years, shook through his entire body while he images of Buffy writhing on top of him ran through his mind.

It wasn’t long after that he slipped into sleep.



When Spike opened his eyes he was standing in a large marble hall, in the center sat a pedestal atop a short staircase and on the plinth stood a life sized statue of Buffy. Numerous people were gathered around the hall, each and every one of them a familiar figure to him. They all seemed to be lost in their own contemplation of the sculpture before them.

Spike noticed Xander first, he was dragging Anyanka with one hand and the brown haired cheerleader with the other, towards the shrine of Buffy. It was apparent from his actions and the looks he was giving them both that he was measuring them up against the statue if the Slayer.

Off to the side Riley stood at attention facing the statue; after a few seconds he relaxed, marched a few feet before turning and standing at attention once again. Spike got the impression he was trying to protect the shrine, but from what Spike couldn’t see.

Spike moved closer to get a better look at the shrine itself. On the way he saw Giles sitting on the ground furiously scribbling in a notebook, every so often he would raise his eyes and gaze upon Buffy before continuing his writing.

Off to the side was a large group of stuffy older men, they reminded him of Giles, only Giles was laid back compared to them. Spike recognized the man who was obviously in charge. It was that Travers fellow who once ran the Council, they all seemed to be making plans, frequently gesturing or looking up at the pedestal.

Spike moved on past them.

The closer he got, the more he appreciated the quality of work that went into this statue. It had long blonde hair, similar to how Buffy wore it the last year in Sunnydale, only now it was much longer. The artist had also managed to not only convey the softness of her features, but the power inside of her, with the stance they had chosen to portray her in. Her clothing was similar to that in his fantasy, only instead of silver it was golden, contrasting with her complexion that was somehow amazingly accurate, despite the fact it was synthetic.

When Spike reached the steps, he noticed Angel on his knees, his head bowed as if he were praying. Spike’s vampiric hearing picked up on the words that were coming from his grandsire.

“Let me be good enough for her. Please let me be good enough.” Spike suddenly understood.

They were all worshiping their image of he, this was just some idealized version of her.

Spike looked up at statue again, in disgust instead of awe this time and that’s when he saw it.
Her eyes. They were alive and they were in pain.

Spike let out a ferocious growl and stormed up the steps. The fools had trapped her. They trapped his Slayer in their expectations and images of who she should be, causing her to become the statue he saw before him.

When Spike finally made it up the stairs to her, he could hear the others below yelling out for him to stop, but he never paused. He immediately started breaking and cracking the hard shell that surrounded her. It felt like ceramic under his fingers and no matter how careful he was he couldn’t help but cut and scrape her skin as he broke through the hard surface.

It didn’t take him long to break her completely free of the prison she had been trapped in, by those who loved her. She stood before him breathing in heavily as if she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs. His eyes raked over her skin, the various cuts from the casing had begun to bleed and trickles of blood ran over her skin, Spike though he had never seen her look so appealing. Unable to help himself, Spike leaned forward and began to lick up the droplets to their source before closing them. Buffy whimpered and almost swooned under his attentions.

Spike could hear the others start to rush the stairs now, wanting to stop him from taking away their idol. Spike immediately scooped her up in his arms, relishing the feel of her arms tightening around his neck, then leapt from the pedestal onto the floor and ran for the door.

Spike kept turning to look behind him at the men chasing him so he didn’t notice that when he threw open the door, and jumped through it, he was jumping into a vast chasm of nothingness.







Before he could do anything Buffy was torn from his arms and he was suddenly picked up and thrown by a large gale. Spike was tossed and turned about in a large maelstrom that kept pulling him farther and farther inward. The closer he got to the center the more violent the wind became and soon it wasn’t just his body that was being buffeted by this tempest. Feelings and emotions were slamming into him.

Fear………..anguish…………bitterness……….distress………..heartache……….misery

The suffering and torment pounded away at his soul making him yell out in agony.

Images began to accompany the feelings. He could see Buffy on the floor of her bathroom yelling for him to stop only he could feel her emotions. Betrayal cut through him like a knife.

Another image flew past. Joyce laying on the couch still in death. Spike could feel grief and pain overwhelming him.

He craved the oblivion of unconsciousness, but since he was still asleep he was technically already unconscious. Spike wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand the onslaught of violent and painful emotions before he lost his sanity. At last, realizing the danger they were in his demon rose up and took over, almost surrounding his soul to protect it.

The demon itself, while fond of pain and fear, did not care for the storm it found itself in either. Its howling rivaled that of the wind itself in intensity, as it tried to struggle and break free of this devastating emotional storm. The wind grew even stronger as he neared the center of the storm and for a few minutes he was certain that it was going to rip his limbs from his body.



Then as suddenly as he was caught up in it, he was released from it. The storm was gone. The abrupt change in conditions left both his mind and body reeling so it took a few extra minutes for him to become aware of his surroundings.

A high-pitched scream brought his attention to his environs. He was in a dimly lit cavern that reminded him of where he had been held captive by the First. Across from him hanging on the far wall a figure was crying and screaming.

Immediately Spike knew what was going on. He felt revulsion and fear wash over him as he moved closer to the torture victim. This was his dream. The dream he’d had about Buffy every since he had asked Raven to become his Mate. Only the dream had never been this vivid before.

As he knew it would be, Buffy hung naked before him. Her hands and feet were nailed directly into the wall, dried blood caked the wounds indicating she had been there for a while. She struggled to breath against the weight of her own body which was slumped and tired from trying to hold herself upright despite the pain in her wrists and feet. Deep gashes crossed her flesh; blood flowed down from them over her body mixing with her sweat, it painted her skin so it looked orange in the torch light. He also noticed the dried blood in between her thighs suggesting other brutal treatments and tortures.

At one time he would have given anything to see the Slayer battered and hurt like this, but now it made him physically ill. The worst part wasn’t even the visual evidence of the mistreatment; it was the whimpering cries she kept calling out, whenever she had enough breath to do so.

When she began to speak, even though he had this dream before and knew what she was going to say, her words pierced his heart more skillfully than a stake ever could.

“Spike, please. I’m sorry. Please.” She begged and pleaded, panting all the while. Her eyes looked around frantically, for a few seconds before they settled on a dark shadow located in the corner. “I love you, please don’t do this to me.” She said directly to the shadow.

Spike looked to where she was gazing, in surprise. Usually, Buffy was staring straight at him when she was crying like this. As the shadow seemed to move with a life all its own until it was directly between Spike and Buffy, Spike realized that maybe it wasn’t him at all she was seeing, but something else that was hurting her.

This realization gave him the momentum to move forward, maybe this was more than just his subconscious after all. He could see the shadow reaching towards her and then there was another fresh gash bleeding freely across her stomach. Before his eyes the gash seemed to get bigger and deeper, like someone was twisting a knife into her flesh and she screamed out in excruciating pain.

Spike couldn’t take anymore, he tried to move closer to her, but it felt like he was frozen in place. He called on all the strength he had inside him, but was still unable to move. Inside himself, Spike was working himself up into a frenzy, his demon was almost beyond reason in it desire to free its Mate from her pain.

Unable to move and feeling helpless Spike began to scream as loud as he could. “Buffy, luv, its not me. I would never hurt you, pet. I love you.” Even with the effort he put into it his words came out as no more than whispers. Not ready to give up he tried again. “Buffy fight him, don’t give up. I’m here.” This time it was a little bit louder. Finally calling up the primal energy of his demon he let out a loud snarl and yelled out, not to Buffy but the shadowy presence before him. “Get away from my Slayer, you prick. She belongs to me.” He was surprised when he heard his voice come out clear and strong this time. Even Buffy seemed to hear him, and she looked up towards him for the first time.

“Spike?” She whispered confused as she looked from where he was standing to the darkness before her.

It seemed that the darkness also heard him clearly because it suddenly turned and moved towards him. Unsure of what he was facing Spike tried to back away from the darkness, but found whatever was keeping him from moving closer to Buffy was also keeping him from moving away. The darkness surrounded him and once again Spike was thrown into the windstorm getting bombarded with images and emotions of pain while he circle a large vortex.


Spike had no idea how long he was tousled about before it ended as abruptly as it began, only this time Spike found himself face down on the ground. He lay there for several minutes breathing deeply, as he tried to get himself under control. He wiped away the tears that had been running down his face.

When he picked his head up to look around he was shocked at what he saw. He was in front of Buffy’s house on Revello drive. It was standing there, exactly as he remembered it, except it was in black and white. He looked around and realized the rest of the street was also devoid of any color. He glanced up to find the only color anywhere was above him, a deep indigo blue sky with lavender clouds racing quickly overhead.

He moved to enter the house before stopping abruptly.

Upon closer inspection there seemed to be a gray cloud surrounding the house, he could see it swirling through the air. The cloud reminded him of the darkness he had just encountered for some reason, so he decided maybe he should explore this dim version of Sunnydale more thoroughly before attempting to go inside.

As he moved off down the street debating within himself where would be the best place to start investigating, he used all his senses to try and gauge the precariousness of his situation.

He immediately noticed the air was thick with the smell of vanilla and it seemed to crackle with power, just like Buffy’s scent.

He moved quickly now, knowing he should head to the Magic Box. If his hunch was right he would be able to find something there.

When he entered the Main Street and he noticed that while the buildings were all where they were supposed to be, some of them were fuzzy. The outline and shape of them were sharp and clear for the most part, but the name or the show window displaying their wares would be blurry no matter how close he got. This only furthered his suspicions about where he was.

Spike was almost to the Magic Box when he felt it.

He turned around in a circle scanning both the ground and the tops of the buildings for the predator he knew was now hunting him. Spike got into a defensive stance. However, even though he could sense it, he couldn’t see it, and he couldn’t even use his senses to pinpoint it since it seemed as though it surrounded him.

The predator grew closer and closer still. Spike felt the fear crawling up his spine, as he spun around, again trying to ascertain its location. Under normal circumstances he would call it out instead of waiting for it to attack, but he knew that he had no hope of standing up to this creature.

When the attack came, it seemed to come out of nowhere. A blur of golden color streaked towards him out of the corner of his eye and he just barely threw himself backwards and out of its range.

The Slayer stood before him in all her primal glory. She resembled Buffy, but some primitive version of her. Her hair was dreaded into a mass on top of her head, her forehead was large and bowed, she didn’t seem able to stand up straight and there were long sharp claws that extended from her hands.

Spike stood up and eyed her warily. He again set himself into a defensive posture then feinted as if to attack before turning and running away as fast as he could.

He could feel her chasing after him, but he didn’t dare turn around to see how close to him she was.

On some level he recognized that this was only a dream, and he knew damn well that it was when you turned to look, that the things chasing you in dreams, caught up with you. Up and down the streets of the shadow Sunnydale he ran, with no idea where he was going, he just knew he had to keep going.

After about twenty minutes at this pace his legs began to stumble underneath him, he tried to drag up more strength, but found he was about out of stamina. He saw the sign for the Bronze before him and realized where he was; he circled around the back knowing that he was almost out of juice. He thought that this would be as good of a place as any to meet his end.

Just as he turned the corner to the alley behind the Bronze though everything suddenly shifted once more.


Spike was dizzy for a few seconds as disorientation washed over him. Once he got over the muddled feeling he became aware of the sounds of fighting. He looked up and saw Buffy fighting a vampire. The world was once again its proper colors, only this time Buffy, the vampire she was fighting and even himself he realized when he looked down were as transparent as ghosts. He didn’t linger on that discovery, however, as he looked again at the Slayer fighting before him.

She was young again.

She looked like she had when he first met her. Actually, this was exactly like the first night he met her, he even recognized the vampire she was fighting.

He watched as she dispatched the vamp with ease and didn’t understand where the clapping noise was coming from. Then he looked down and realized it came from him as he stepped out into the light and faced her.

Spike could hear his voice talking, but he didn’t pay any attention to the words as he took in the young girl before him. Her hair was slightly messed up from the fight, reminding him of how it looked after a nice, sweaty, rough and tumble. The fierce look in her eyes devoid of any fear as she faced him wasn’t just for show; he knew that at this time, even after what she had seen and been through, she still carried within her the optimism of youth.

It would take Angelus to steal that from her.

Her voice brought his attention back to what was actually happening before him. “What happens Saturday night?” She asked him with excited anticipation.

Spike froze. He remembered this part most clearly, this was what he had come here for that night and at the time it had excited him beyond belief.

“I kill you.” He heard himself answer, but instead of the faint smell of fear and nervousness that should be there he had smelled anticipation and…arousal?

“Buffy.” This time it was him that consciously spoke, he felt a ripple go through him and when he looked down he wasn’t as transparent anymore, portions of him were solid and other parts were swirling with translucency and solid

“Spike.” The hope and happiness in her voice made him look at her sharply. He saw that she was also becoming more solid. He could even make out the texture in her shirt now. He stepped closer to her and she did the same.

“Buffy?” He spoke again, but his voice choked with emotion and it didn’t come out very loud. She came within arms reach of him and raised her hand as if to brush against his cheek before pulling back sharply. She looked at him fearfully and she shimmered again becoming more translucent.

“Are you real?” She all but whispered.

“I don’t bloody know right now, pet.” Spike answered honestly. “I afraid I’m only dreaming this.”

Then she rippled again and became solid as she threw herself at him, his arms tightened around her instinctively and a sob escaped him, as he was overwhelmed.

“I knew you would come.” Buffy was also crying into his neck where her head was buried. “That was what kept me going all this time. I knew you would come eventually.”

“I love you so much.” Spike told her over and over again.

Buffy pulled back abruptly, for a minute Spike thought he had jumped locations again, but then he saw her smiling brightly up at him. It was a smile he had never seen directed at him before, but it warmed him inside, in a way that even her blood could not compete with.

“I love you, too, Spike.” She told him. At his shocked look she repeated it. “I love you.” She took his head in her hands and brought his lips to hers.

In his many years on this planet Spike had been intimate with many women, with Dru’s approval of course, and even demons and creatures that were know for their sensuality and sexual prowess, but never before had a kiss affected him like this.

It was gentle, sweet and filled with love, as their lips caressed each other lightly, sipping and tasting the emotions that came from the other. There was also passion and Spike felt himself throb inside his jeans with desire for her. The smell of her arousal around him turned him on even more. Yet, as much as he desired her, Spike didn’t feel the need to move things any further along, he just wanted to keep enjoying this moment forever. He tangled his hands in her hair, not to pull her closer just so he could feel the silken lengths again. He was delighted with the way she purred against him when he did that.

A loud bang sounded and the alley seemed to shimmer a bit and at the edge of his line of site, the color seemed to waver. Spike somehow knew it was the Slayer trying to get in after him.

“Don’t worry she can’t get in.” Buffy told him.

Spike looked down at her and his eyes narrowed as he remembered his previous suspicions. “What is going on here, pet? We have primal Slayer hunting me down and some version of you hung up like Christ on the cross, only worse.”

Spike couldn’t tell whether she actually shivered or whether he could actually feel the rippling of her body, as she seemed to struggle to stay solid. She quickly put her fingers to his lips to silence him. “Shh. If this is just a dream and that’s all we have then you shouldn’t waste time worrying about it now. We need to just be happy.” Her voice sounded hopeful and desperate at the same time, the shivering feeling continued. Again there was a loud banging.

“Say I agree with you, luv, I don’t know that she’s going to let us relax and have fun.” Spike answered.

“So we’ll go someplace else. Someplace she can’t go and we can be alone, its one of my favorite places.” Buffy’s voice got more excited and she seemed to stabilize her shifting.

“Ok, and how do you plan on getting there?”

Buffy gave him that dazzling smile again and the next thing Spike knew things were spinning again.

When they stopped he stepped back from her.

“Bloody hell. Enough with the Merry-Go-Round already, Slayer.” He ranted while she giggled delightedly at him.

Spike stood still and watched her. He didn’t know what to do. If she was right and this was just some crazy Opium enhanced dream, then he had nothing to worry about and he should just enjoy this time he had with her, even if it wasn’t real.

Unfortunately, there were all these worries in the back of his and as wonderful and delightful as this Buffy was, he had the feeling that there was something off about her. She wasn’t the innocent seventeen-year-old version of Buffy she appeared to be. This girl was definitely more mature, and she seemed to have all the memories of his girl, but she was too happy, too giggly. She reminded him of a pop star on prozac.

Spike felt a tingling in his spine and he tilted his head as he looked at her. He could feel her demon. It took a moment for him to notice, but it was there. Only he didn’t think it was coming from her.

He looked around him and that’s when he noticed where they were.

“My crypt…” He said in wonder. Even the oriental rugs were in place on the floor. “This is your happy place?”

“This is where I spent the most time with you, even though it wasn’t the best time. Now I come here and I imagine all the things I would have done differently.”

All the concerns regarding her, flew out of his head with her words; he simply crossed over to her and pulled her into his arms.

“What is it you imagine?” He asked her.

Buffy pulled away and led him over to the bed. She climbed up onto it and sat down.

“Come here.” She beckoned him enticingly. Spike climbed up next to her and she wrapped her arms around him and lowered him until his head lay on her chest. Spike was surprised that even though his head was resting on her soft breast, there was barely any sexual thoughts running through his mind.

Buffy began speaking as she ran her fingers lightly through his hair. “I imagine that I stuck around long enough to wake up next to you. I would wake up feeling so well rested and at peace with your arms around me. Its like heaven for me.” Spike looked up at her in amazement. She gave him that amazing smile again and planted a small kiss on his lips before pulling his head back down. “Then I would imagine the delicious ways I could tease you into waking up, and then we make love again.”

“Sounds, bloody wonderful, pet.” Spike murmured.

How he could feel himself getting sleepy while dreaming, Spike didn’t know. He found out he didn’t really care right now, he was so content he couldn’t help the purring noises that began to erupt from his throat.

A growl came from upstairs.

As relaxed as he was Spike never heard it, his purring grew louder as he lost himself in Buffy’s scent and her warm arms around him lovingly. This was something he never allowed himself to dream of. Even now that he knew her demon loved him and she always had feelings for him, he never would have hoped to share such a tender and loving moment with her. Her voice was the music of angels, he thought, not even embarrassed by the poetic thought that had come directly from his soul.

The growl came again louder, sharper.

Spike tilted his head to the side when he felt something go through him, like a mild shock.

“Did you hear something?” He asked Buffy.

“No, I was listening to you purring.” The warning bells in Spike’s head started going off again.

He looked back at her; she was still smiling gently at him. The look in her eyes was so inviting. Besides, this was a dream; he needed to enjoy this while he could.

He lay back down on her and she resumed her light caressing on his head. Spike started purring again.

This time a loud roar sounded from above.

“What was that?” He asked, alarmed.

“Nothing.” Buffy said quickly, her smile was still hopeful, but it seemed strained.

Spike jumped off the bed and ran up the ladder.

He was in game face by the time he reached the top.

Chained to the wall in the upstairs of his crypt was a vamped out Buffy. She growled at him possessively and yanked at the chains in an attempt to get to him. Spike leapt towards her growling a command at her and she quieted almost immediately, but still looked at him with desperate pleading. Spike immediately started pulling at her chains, trying to free her.

“NO!” Spike turned to see the Buffy he had been with rippling again. “You can’t let her go.”

Spike ignored her and went back to work. “If she gets out she and the Slayer start fighting, then SHE will come out to find out what’s going on.” Spike wanted to demand who SHE was, but right now he was still trying to comfort Vamp Buffy. She was nuzzling his neck as he pulled uselessly at the chains.

“What the hell are these things made out of?” He muttered.

“HER will.” The Buffy behind him answered.

Spike didn’t hear her because he was too caught up in the magnetic pull his demon felt towards the vampire before him. She was still nuzzling his neck purring against him, instead of the sweet loving feelings the other Buffy evoked in him this Buffy’s purr made him surge with lust.

His jaw practically shook with the need to bite her and his cock was doing much the same. His golden eyes met hers and it felt like an explosion inside of him. He dove for her neck viciously and as his fangs punctured her neck she screamed out in pleasure. He ran his hands up and down her body feeling her cool silken skin beneath his fingers.

She tried to wrap her legs around his waist, but was limited by the chains on her ankles, so instead she just bucked up against him. He growled into her neck at the contact, but didn’t loosen his grip as he began to suck her sweet blood into his mouth. He groaned as it trickled down his throat and he grabbed her backside and held her tight to his denim-covered erection. She immediately began to work herself off on him, causing his zipper to rub against him painfully, but even the painful friction brought him closer to the edge. He began sucking harder on her neck as his hips began to move against hers, helping them both reach their release. As her movements became frantic he pulled her head down and towards his neck, bit down on her harder and bucked his hips against her forcefully.

When her fangs entered his neck her climax hit her, and he followed right after her, spilling himself into his pants. His drinking slowed as he slowly came back to himself.

Temporarily sated his demon retreated slightly, Spike removed his fangs as he licked the wounds closed. He felt her do the same to him and he stepped away from her. The look in her eyes was enough to rouse his demon again and he was about to undo his pants so he could bury both his cock and his fangs inside of her, when the banging started. This time it seemed the entire crypt shook.

The Buffy chained in front of him went absolutely nuts. She immediately began to fight savagely against her restraints.

“We have to go.” Spike had completely forgotten about the other Buffy that was with him.

“Where are we going to go this time?” He asked tiredly. He noticed she was now solid once more and instead of being angry or upset she just watched him bring another woman…

Er, vampire…

Who was technically her.

Another bang sounded outside, and the happy Buffy walked over to him quickly and took his hand.

This time he was dizzy before they even left his crypt as he tried to wrap his mind around what was going on.

Spike realized he must be getting used to this traveling, because the disorientation was minimal this time. And again he recognized their location. They were in the house he found her in the night her mates had kicked her out.

“All right. I’ve had about enough of this. I want some answers and I want them now.” He almost growled. “And none of this disappearing nonsense either. You stay nice and solid, now.”

Again there was a loud banging. Buffy looked up startled. “Oh, no. SHE must know you are here, that’s the only way the Slayer could find us so fast.”

”Who is this SHE you keep talking about?” Spike tried to get her attention, but she didn’t answer him. She grabbed his hand again. Spike wanted to pull away from her before she teleported them again, but he was too late. This time when the dizzying feeling started, it didn’t stop. It continued on and on. Familiar places passed in front of him, but before he could even properly think of where they were they were gone again.

They began to move even more quickly and the dizzy feeling increased. As they moved ever faster the images started appearing more wildly. Sometimes the places were upside down, sometimes the seemed almost inside out, other times they were tilted at strange angles.

Spike noticed Buffy seemed to be losing her solidity along with her control.

He tried to shout and tell her to stop, but she didn’t seem to hear him. He tried to jerk on her hand to get her attention, but she must have lost her body at that moment because he lost his grip on her.

It was like being thrown out of a moving car at high speed. He hit the pavement hard and went rolling for about 15 feet before sliding to a stop.

Several minutes went by in absolute silence, and then Spike groaned and slowly began to pull himself up.

As he stood up he noticed that Sunnydale had resumed its gray coloring and fuzzy appearance.

He let out another groan and tried to stretch.

He felt the tingling in that instant. He heard, rather than saw the approach.

He did however feel the stake when it entered his heart and felt his body disintegrate into ash.