Buffy had stayed downstairs while the others spent hours flipping through page after page of various demon guides. She knew she should help her friends, but she was too preoccupied. She kept wondering how alternate-Buffy could bring herself to share her life with Spike. He’s evil and annoying and... and he smokes! But those pictures. I looked so happy. WE looked happy. Buffy shuttered, scolding herself for envying that hallucination of a marriage.

Buffy had spent her day staring out the living room window. A car would pass by every so often, carting normal people to normal destinations. Buffy followed the latest vehicle as far as the confines of the window frame would let her. A soccer mom with a minivan full of kids sped down the road. I bet she’s never had to clean demon blood off those uniforms. A few minutes later a man dressed in a business suit was at the wheel of his BMW, mouthing the words to whatever song was playing on the radio. That guy would probably shit himself if he ever came face-to-face with a vampire.

Her attention turned to the sky, which had taken on shades of orange and red as the sun crept toward the horizon. Sunsets just didn’t seem the same since she became a Slayer. Before she was given the “gift” of her powers, sunsets were almost magical. She used to sit on the beach and watch in awe as the glowing sun seemed to drift down until it was extinguished by the ocean. These days, however, sunset meant it was time once again to do battle against the forces of evil. Save the innocent, stop the wrongdoers, prevent apocalypse after apocalypse.

Why bother? The world always manages to get in trouble again. I have to try, she reminded herself, I’m the Slayer. Still, she longed to be like one of the people passing by her window, to feel the way she did before slaying, to have a normal life.

Her eyes were just beginning to fill with tears when Willow came rushing into the living room, “Buffy! I think we found your demon.”

She handed Buffy a sheet of paper. Centered at the top of the page in bold was ‘Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik.’ Underneath its name was a sketch of the creature, which Buffy immediately recognized. “Yeah. That’s it.”

A smile swept over Willow’s face, “See? It’s gonna be ok. Its pokey stinger carries an antidote to its own poison.”

Buffy turned her attention back to the world outside, “I’m not sure if I can find it again. I mean, I didn’t find it in the first place. It found me.”

“Don’t worry. Xander is working on it and Dawn’s on her way out to get some supplies I’ll need,” Willow reassured her friend. She was about to suggest asking Spike for help, when the women heard the back door slam shut. Buffy and Willow exchanged knowing glances as Buffy muttered, “Great. Exactly who I don’t want to see right now.”

Dressed in his usual black attire, complete with leather duster, Spike sauntered into the living room. “Hey Slayer,” he said, “Got a nest you might fancy checkin’ out.”

Buffy stayed silent, allowing Willow to speak up for her, “Now’s not a good time, Spike.”

Spike leaned his head to the side, narrowing his eyes upon seeing the distant expression on Buffy’s face, “What’s wrong?”

Buffy just shook her head in reply.

Curious and worried, Spike looked to the redhead for some sort of explanation. “Why don’t you go upstairs,” Willow said, “Xander can fill you in on the details.”

Spike hesitated. He wanted to know what was bothering the Slayer. Buffy lifted her eyes to meet Spike’s. He could see the hurt she was concealing from him. Spike broke away from her gaze and turned towards the stairs, deciding that he didn’t need to know what was causing her pain in order to stop it.

When he was safely out of sight, Willow turned back to Buffy, “You should get some rest. Xander and Spike can take care of the demon.”

Buffy sighed, “I’m afraid to try. What happens when I wake up? What I’m there again?”

“Well, you said we were all there with you, right?” asked Willow. “You could always tell us, the other ‘us’, what was going on. I’m sure other me would at least be willing to listen.”

Buffy gave her friend a small smile, “Can’t hurt to try, I guess.”

After a little more convincing by Willow, Buffy gave in and headed up to her room. She looked around, assuring herself that she was in the correct reality. She walked over to her window, glancing down at the row of stuffed animals gathered underneath it. She stooped down and picked up Mr. Gordo. Holding the stuffed pig close to her, she crawled under the covers and into her bed. For a long while she just laid there, Mr. Gordo in her arms, fearing what would happen if she slept. When she finally did start to fall asleep, she would force herself awake and switch on the lamp next to her bed to verify she was still alone.

Spike was standing in the hallway, on his way outside for a smoke, when he saw light escaping from underneath Buffy’s door. Xander told Spike that Buffy was having delusions brought on by some demon’s poison. But, remembering Buffy’s threat, Xander neglected to share the details of those delusions with the vampire. Spike knew there was more to the story than the boy was letting on, so he decided to pay a visit to the troubled Slayer.

Buffy was preparing to switch the lamp off once again when she heard a soft knocking at the door. “Come in,” Buffy said.

The door cracked open just enough for Spike’s head to fit through. “You’d think a Slayer would be more careful about invitin’ a person in her room,” teased Spike.

Buffy rolled her eyes, “You’re not a person.”

Entering the room and closing the door behind him, Spike lifted his hand to cover his heart, saying as sarcastically as possible, “Ouch. That hurts, pet.”

“What do you want, Spike?”

Seeing the lack of amusement on Buffy’s face, his tone turned serious, “Heard you were seeing things. Thought you might want to talk about it.”

Buffy’s eyes grew wide, “Who told you?!”

“Xander. Said some ugly bugger took a poke at you,” Spike smirked at his remark, reveling in the deep blush that was spread across Buffy’s cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, Spike did not know...nor did he care.

Trying to ignore his latest sexual reference, Buffy asked, “What else did Xander say?”

“Not a thing, luv.” With those words, Buffy let out the breath she had been holding. Spike noticed the relief on Buffy’s face, “There’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me.”

Buffy saw the concern in Spike’s eyes as a feeling of deja-vu swept over her. That’s exactly what the other Spike said. Reluctantly, Buffy sat up in bed, Mr. Gordo in tow, “You’re right. I just don’t see any reason to waste my breath.”

Spike wandered closer, “So what, you suddenly can’t share with ol’ Spike? Never stopped you before.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Buffy, annoyed.

“Come off it, Slayer. Quick to forget who you came to with your ‘I was in heaven’ secret, aren’t you?” He sat down next to her.

Buffy shook her head, “That doesn’t count. I needed to talk to someone and you just happened to be lurking outside.”

Spike arched his scarred eyebrow, mischief gleaming in his eyes, “Yeah, well, I don’t recall you lockin’ lips with Xander.”

“Shhh!” Buffy used her unnatural speed to slap her hand over Spike’s mouth, preventing any further discussion of the kiss. “God Spike! I told you what would happen if you brought that up again!”

Spike reached up and took Buffy’s hand away his mouth, “Yeah, yeah. You’ll stake me right and proper. Find a new tune, pet. That one’s gettin’ old.” Then, lowering his head, Spike added, “I just thought it might help. Gettin’ things out in the open and all.”

“Trust me, it won’t.”

Spike shrugged, silently excusing himself from the room. Just before closing the door behind him, he turned back, “If you change you mind...”

Buffy nodded, cuddling Mr. Gordo as Spike disappeared from her view. She was exhausted, and finally drifted off in a dreamless slumber.

Spike leaned his back against Buffy’s closed door, listening until he heard the slow and even breathing of the sleeping Slayer. I’m here for you, Buffy, he thought, I’ll always be here.