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Dear Diary by LiquidVamp
So Long Gone
K folks, it's not some cutie little fluff fic. I'm sure that's what most would want for Valentines, but well I wasn't feeling fluff at the moment. So you get angst instead.
Um k on with the show.
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Dear Diary,
I don’t know how to begin. It’s been so long since I poured my soul out to you.
Diary, how do you let go of someone? Someone you loved with your whole being, mind, body, and soul, for so long. I tried, really I have, but I just can’t let him go. Everywhere I go, I see him. I feel him. I hear him. I smell him.
How do I disassociate the smell of worn leather and cigarette smoke from him? How can I not hear his voice when someone curses with that same British slag. That sound of warm honey, even when he was mad. How can I convince myself that every bleached, blond man walking past isn’t him? How do I tell my heart that those tingles down my spine will never be caused by him? It will never be that singular feeling that only HE could cause.
Diary, I moved to Rome to be away from all the things that remind me of him. But it didn’t work. I saw him everywhere. Saw something he would like. Something I was sure he has already seen, visited, been near…
Still, I move back here. Back to London where I know he’s been. To a place where the buildings hold within their silent walls memories of him. Where I know the streets have been stalked by him.
Dairy, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to forget. Never forget. But I don’t want to hurt anymore. I miss him. Every cell in my body misses him. So long gone, yet still I miss him.
How do I love without the pain? How do I move on without letting him go completely?
What I wouldn’t give to have him here with me. To hold me. To kiss me. To make love to me. To love me.
My Spike is gone. So long gone. And I don’t know what to do.
Buffy Summers
London, UK
Feb. 14, 2006
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Remember muses live off of reviews and caffine. Give the first if not the second please.
Special Thanks to 2zen2 for betaing for me.
Um k on with the show.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Diary,
I don’t know how to begin. It’s been so long since I poured my soul out to you.
Diary, how do you let go of someone? Someone you loved with your whole being, mind, body, and soul, for so long. I tried, really I have, but I just can’t let him go. Everywhere I go, I see him. I feel him. I hear him. I smell him.
How do I disassociate the smell of worn leather and cigarette smoke from him? How can I not hear his voice when someone curses with that same British slag. That sound of warm honey, even when he was mad. How can I convince myself that every bleached, blond man walking past isn’t him? How do I tell my heart that those tingles down my spine will never be caused by him? It will never be that singular feeling that only HE could cause.
Diary, I moved to Rome to be away from all the things that remind me of him. But it didn’t work. I saw him everywhere. Saw something he would like. Something I was sure he has already seen, visited, been near…
Still, I move back here. Back to London where I know he’s been. To a place where the buildings hold within their silent walls memories of him. Where I know the streets have been stalked by him.
Dairy, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to forget. Never forget. But I don’t want to hurt anymore. I miss him. Every cell in my body misses him. So long gone, yet still I miss him.
How do I love without the pain? How do I move on without letting him go completely?
What I wouldn’t give to have him here with me. To hold me. To kiss me. To make love to me. To love me.
My Spike is gone. So long gone. And I don’t know what to do.
Buffy Summers
London, UK
Feb. 14, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember muses live off of reviews and caffine. Give the first if not the second please.
Special Thanks to 2zen2 for betaing for me.
If you are under the age of 17, please use your head and do not read fics that are labeled "NC-17". Parents, I cannot control what your children are reading, so please be advised that the majority of the fics archived here are NOT suitable for those under the age of 17.
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