----------------------------------------------------------


“They’re getting closer,” Kerala said in a bitter voice.


“Well now that the page has been burned, your identity is safe,” he offered.


“True. They don’t seem to have a clue as to who I am,” her lips lifted into an evil smile at the brightening notion.


Her smile immediately turned into a cold expression as a thought came to her. “But if they use that spell, they will find out what the Slayer’s been keeping from them. You know what that means.”


“That they will know the gem is already in use and that the Slayer isn’t from their realm,” he finished.


“We will make sure they don’t find out how the gem works, or how to reverse the process before we kill her,” Kerala reinforced with deadly determination. She walked over to the gem that was placed in a perfectly carved shape in the stone wall and watched its glow intensify.

“We’ll move in soon,” she said as the gem reflected in her eyes.


-------------------------------------------------------------


“No, you musn’t,” Giles said sternly.


Willow frowned stubbornly. “Giles, it could be the answer to our problems!”


“Or the end of our lives!” he shot back. “You can’t just go around casting spells when you don’t have an utter clue what it may do.”


Willow slumped in defeat and plunked her head down on the Giles’ dining table. She knew he was right, but the spell, just sitting there, was making her itch for some magic. Not knowing drove her crazy.


Giles sighed. He wanted to know just as much as she did, but he knew the chances of it being catastrophic were a great deal higher than it being beneficial. He paused before looking up at Willow and offered, “Perhaps we should try to find out what it is and if we do so, we can then use the spell.”


Willow picked up her head from the table and had a pout on her face before reluctantly replying, “Fine. I guess you’re right.”



-------------------------------------------------------------


She was dreaming of Spike. His cool lips against hers – his hands running soothingly through her hair.


“Buffy,” he whispered in between kisses.


She felt light in his arms, and helpless to his touch. Smiling, she looked at him with pure joy in her eyes. He began to unbutton her shirt as she lay under him on the bed. She closed her eyes to revel in his tender movements.


But when she opened her eyes, they were standing outside, in the cemetery. Confused, she looked at Spike in question.


“Spike?” Buffy asked with wide eyes. “What happened?”


Spike smiled at her lovingly. “You’ll be ok, luv. I promise I’ll come back soon.” He pulled her to him for a deep kiss that made her heart beat faster, forgetting her confusion.


When he pulled back, she pouted at the loss. “When?” she asked with sad eyes. “You’ll come back soon?” her voice was hopeful.


“Of course, luv. I’ll never leave you,” Spike finished in his same comforting voice.


She smiled, believing him. “Where are you going?” she asked curiously.


“You’re the one going, pet,” he replied.


“What?” she scrunched her forehead.


He saw her confusion again and ran his hand down her cheek in a comforting manner. “Don’t worry. Just go through the door.” He looked in the direction behind her.


Turning her head while she was still in his arms, she saw a white door in the middle of the cemetery. It shone a bright white color, glowing in the darkness. She felt drawn to it, but didn’t want to leave Spike’s arms.


He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, “Go on, luv. I’ll wait here for you.”


Looking back at him for reassurance, she nodded in understanding and moved away from his embrace. Turning to face the door, she slowly took a step toward it and looked back at Spike. He smiled back at her. She moved forward more, coming to stand right in front of it. Slowly moving her hand to reach for the knob, her fingertips barely touched it before everything flashed.


And Buffy was in a white room. Quickly turning around in all directions, she braced herself for attack.


“Don’t worry, Buffy,” a soothing female voice said.


She turned around, and a kind-looking old woman stood before her, garbed in white. She exuded ‘goodness’ and her aging wrinkles added to her soft features. Her eyes shone with purity and her long white hair flowed to her waist.


“Who are you?” Buffy asked, feeling safe in this woman’s presence.


“Someone who wants to help you,” she answered with a kind smile.


“Are you the Powers That Be?”


“Something like that. But I don’t have much time, Buffy. You have to listen to me carefully,” she said in a concerned tone.


Buffy stepped closer to the woman, ready to listen. “What is it?”


“You need to make things right again. Something big is happening and you aren’t trying,” the woman said.


Buffy frowned. “Tell me what I need to do.”


“Stop the process. You need to figure out how to get home.”


Buffy bit her lips. An overwhelming sense of guilt flooded through her. With ashamed eyes, she looked at the old woman. “How?”


“Realize what’s in your heart,” she said. “You are here for a reason, and only when it’s accomplished can you be restored.”


“But how?” Buffy asked again desperately.


“Realize the truth. And quickly, before she becomes successful in her mission.”


“I don’t understand! Tell me how!” Buffy cried out. Her stomach tightened in desperation and as begged the woman with her eyes.


“Tell them to use the spell,” the woman said calmly. “Here.”


She put her hand out for Buffy to see, and an object appeared in the palm of her hand. Buffy tentatively reached out to take it from her. It was a little metal trinket, shaped into a heart the size of a half dollar. She took it in her hands, and felt the cool smoothness of it.


“What is this for?”


“The spell,” she replied. “Go, before he leaves you.”


Buffy looked up in alarm. ‘Spike.’ She had forgotten he was waiting outside. She was about to thank the woman and run off, but the woman was already gone. Buffy was alone in the white room, but she hastened her movements to reach the white door. Opening it, she stepped outside of the white room, and back into the cemetery.


The door disappeared when it closed behind her, and she scanned the area for Spike. “Spike?” Buffy called.


“Slayer,” Spike replied in a cold voice. He stepped out from the darkness, leather duster swaying behind him.


She took in the change in his demeanor. She was about to walk over to him and fling herself into his arms, but he interjected her.


“What the hell are you doing here? Come to fight to the death?” he said with malice in his voice.


“What? Spike? What are you talking about?” Buffy walked to him and reached out to touch his arm, but he vamped suddenly, causing her to jump back at his hostility.


He started stalking in a circle around her, while she stood there alarmed and panicked at his change. Her hand dropped down to her side in realization, letting the trinket slide from her palm onto the ground. This was the Spike that wanted to kill her, not her Spike.


“Come on, Slayer. Let’s get this over with,” he growled.


He lunged toward her and she closed her eyes tightly, not moving or making an effort to fight. As his fist flung toward her face and connected harshly with her left cheek, she flung her head back in pain and cried out.

~

“Buffy!” Spike yelled, shaking her. She thrashed in his arms violently, not opening her eyes. “Buffy! Wake up!”


“Wake up!!” He shook her shoulders until her eyelids fluttered open in a confused daze.


She was panting heavily, beads of sweat across her chest. She darted her eyes around, realizing she was in the crypt, Spike holding her in his arms, looking at her with concerned eyes.


‘It was a dream!’ she realized, a huge wave of relief flooded through her. Buffy flung her arms around Spike and hugged him fiercely, burying her face in the side of his neck. Her body trembled as she let out short pants.


“Shhh, it’s ok, luv,” Spike whispered as he ran his hands through her hair. “Just a nightmare…”


Her heart beat slowly stopped its rapid pace as she breathed into Spike’s neck, focusing on the soothing feeling of his skin on hers and his hands through her hair.


All of a sudden, Spike felt her tense. He brought his head back to look at her in question. She starred at him wide eyed and slowly took her right arm away from his neck. Spike looked down at her arm, confused, until he saw that her hand was fisted, as if holding something.


Her heart began to beat rapidly as she opened her hand, revealing a little heart trinket in her palm. She dropped it as if she was scorched, and flung her naked body back to the end of the bed.


“What’s that?” Spike asked, picking up the trinket.


“I-,” Buffy started breathing deeply again. “It can’t-,”


“What is it, Buffy?” Spike urged.


Her eyes wide with disbelief, she continued, “I dreamt that someone gave that to me.”


His face showed his confusion until he realized what she meant. “This isn’t yours?”


“No,” Buffy shook her head, feeling like the room was spinning. An eerie feeling settled inside of her – it wasn’t just a dream after all.


--------------------------------------------------------------


They were all in Giles’ apartment and had just finished listening to Buffy’s edited version of her dream. She knew it was wrong, but she omitted the part about the woman telling her she needed to ‘go home.’


Buffy was sitting on the couch next to Spike, her head turned to the side and face buried into the side of his arm. He had been comforting her ever since she woke up, listening to her shaky explanation of her dream. Spike reassured her continuously that it was just a dream, and that he wasn’t going to all of a sudden ‘turn evil.’ She couldn’t tell him that in actuality, he had been evil already and tried to kill her before.


The rest of the gang stood there confused with Giles holding the trinket and looking it over.


“She said this was for the spell?” he wanted to reconfirm.


“Yea,” she muttered tiredly into Spike’s arm.


Willow was looking over the spell, looking at the ingredients over and over. Nothing said: a little heart trinket. Tara was looking over Willow’s shoulders.


“Wait,” she said, pointing to an ingredient at the bottom of the list. “A Dash of Silver.”


Willow frowned and looked at her girlfriend in question. “Huh? What about it?”


“Giles, c-can I see the heart?” Tara asked.


He handed it over to her and she looked it over carefully. Realization dawned on everyone at the same time. The heart trinket wasn’t metal, it was silver.


“Well, I don’t get it. It says a dash of silver. Couldn’t we just have thrown in like a silver letter opener or something?” Xander questioned.


Willow’s mind was at work. “No…because then...,” understanding dawned on her, “we would have done it wrong!”


“It probably only works if you use this…,” Tara whispered in reflection.


“Extraordinary,” Giles said. A thought came to him. “Could it be a trick though?” he asked cautiously. “You did say that in your dream, Spike turned evil. Maybe she’s some sort of evil mirage disguised to get us to do the spell.”


She flinched and tensed. How could she explain that the Spike part used to be true? She managed to get out, “I just know she was good. I felt it. I don’t know how to prove it, but you’ll have to trust me.”


She sighed as Spike tried to comfort her. And Xander looked like he was about to say something, which was what he looked like the entire time that Spike and Buffy were there, but the girls kept shooting him warning glares, so he shut his mouth each time. Giles kept looking over at them, but knew this was not the time.


Buffy and Spike didn’t even notice since they were only focused on each other. Without looking at them, she quipped in a tired voice, “Besides, even evil wouldn’t disguise themselves in the shape of a heart. How lame would that be?”


Spike chuckled as he continued to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb.


“Giles, we should do the spell. If the woman in her dream is from the Powers That Be, we may actually be running out of time,” Willow tried to convince him.


He took off his glasses and used the bottom of his shirt to rub the lenses. He sighed in defeat. “Let’s assemble the ingredients just in case. In the meantime, we should do a thorough search for anything about a mysterious spell.”


Willow’s mind did a happy flip. She knew she would get to do the spell eventually, and her excitement peaked. Her face lit up, but she quickly tried to put on a serious face and suppress her glee.


--------------------------------------------------------------


After some convincing, Buffy agreed to go to the Bronze and try to forget about the dream. The gang was also going, and Xander even agreed to keep his mouth shut. He knew it wasn’t a good day to be picking fights with Buffy or Spike.


They walked in and found themselves a table, surveying the crowd.


“Wow, it’s packed tonight. Everyone and their mom are here,” Xander commented. His traveling gaze did a double take, and he darted his attention from one side of the room to another.


“What?” Anya asked. “Why are you all bug-eyed?”


“Uhh, well because,” Xander pointed, “There’s Leanna,” and he pointed to the other side, “and there’s Buffy’s little admirer, Mike, headed our way.”


Buffy and Spike groaned as the rest of the gang gave them ‘yikes’ looks. As Mike approached, they all scattered away pretending to look for drinks.


“Hey Buffy,” Mike greeted with a smile.


Buffy gave him an obligatory smile, “Hi Mike.” Spike glared at him and not-so-subtly took Buffy’s hand in his.


Mike looked down at their joined hands and a flash on confusion went across his face before he concluded, “You two?”


Spike smirked at him with a macho look of victory that did not go unnoticed by Buffy. She glared at him and he flashed her innocent eyes.


“Yea,” Buffy replied apologetically. She felt sort of bad for him, and he was a nice guy to boot.


He nodded in understanding. “I knew you were waiting for someone all this time.”


She frowned and opened her mouth to disagree, but Spike interjected, “Yep, me. Now bugger off.”


“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed at his rudeness. He just smirked at her and leaned in for a kiss. She put her hand up to his mouth and turned back to Mike as Spike continued his path. “Sorry, Mike. I’m sure you’ll find someone that’s better for you.”


Mike gave her a small smile and turned to walk away.


Spike leaned in for another kiss as he whispered, “Not bloody likely.” Buffy couldn’t help smiling and kissing the jerk back. ‘He’s cute when he’s possessive.’


But when she glanced up for a moment, she stilled Spike’s movements.


“What?” Spike pouted into her ear.


“It’s your turn,” Buffy muttered. Spike looked up in the same direction and slumped in his chair. “Oh bloody buggering hell. Mine’s worse!”


It was Leanna, sauntering over to them with a truly pissed-off look on her face. Buffy tensed as she did her own share of staring down.


“Hi Spike. Hi tramp,” Leanna said as she turned to both of them. Buffy lunged up out of her seat, but Spike quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. “Let me handle this,” he whispered into her ear.


“Leanna,” Spike replied curtly. “What do you want?”


At the ‘sickening’ display of Buffy on her Spike’s lap, Leanna’s eyes flashed with a deeper grey. “How can you be with a dirty human? Of all people, the slayer?”


“It’s none of your business. Sod off. We’re long over, Leanna,” Spike replied evenly as he gave her a bored look.


“I bet you’re just using each other for the sex. You know they call that whoring, right?”


“Can you please kick her ass now!?” Buffy exasperated.


“Yea, because you can’t do it yourself,” Leanna smirked.


“That’s enough. Leave,” Spike said with intensity as he stood up to look at her in the eyes.


She looked indignant and before she turned to storm off, she added, “When her little thrall over you ends and she stabs you in the back, I’ll be the one to say I told you so.”


“Argh!” Buffy yelled. “I want to kill her!”


Spike’s jaw was clenched because he was pretty pissed off too. He played it cool, but he seriously almost punched Leanna in the face for talking about Buffy that way. He pushed his emotions aside and pulled Buffy forward into a hug. Spike ran his fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down. “Don’t let it get to you. You’re better than her by miles,” he said.


“Is that even in question? Of course I am! She’s a freakin’ raving lunatic!” Buffy exclaimed.


Spike chuckled and just took her by the hand. “C’mon, Goldilocks.”


“Where are we going?” Buffy asked, confused at the change of subject.


“I wanna dance with you,” Spike said.


“Oh,” she replied as she blushed, fighting a smile and the fluttering feelings that she used to get when she was 16. She didn’t know how he still managed to do that to her everytime.


-------------------------------------------------------------


The next night, Buffy woke up in Spike’s arms, her back to his chest in a spooning position. They had fallen asleep in his room after a long day. Waking up with his arms around her, she suddenly felt refreshed and in brighter spirits.


“Mmm,” he mumbled into her hair, still half asleep.


A jolt of tingles ran through her as she felt him hardening against her ass.


Getting a mischievous streak, she pushed back, grinding her ass against him.


“Be the death of me,” he muttered, waking up at her teasing.


She did it again and threw her head back, moaning. At that, he was fully awake and he suddenly flipped her on her back and hovered over her. “How come you don’t get my attention like that everytime?” he smirked.


His hair tousled and chest shirtless, Buffy’s eyes darkened with lust. She was wearing a tank top and some panties, looking ready to pounce. She lifted her head off the bed to capture his lips, and pulled his body down fiercely against hers.


Spike eagerly pushed into the kiss, prodding his tongue deeper into her mouth and savoring the feel of her warm heat. He looped his finger under the strap of her panties, tugging at it playfully while his other hand held the back of her head.


“Mmmm. Need help with that?” she joked.


He growled at her and ripped the offending material from her body, provoking a raspy gasp from her.


“Wait,” she managed to breathe out.


“Wait??” Spike questioned incredulously. “What? Why?”


“Joyce and Dawn,” she replied.


“Oh, them. They’re gone, luv. It’s just you and me,” he waggled his brows.


“In that case, please continue,” she quipped.


He chuckled before he lunged in, nipping the spot right below her ears. As he moved his kisses down her neck and to her breast, she felt the wetness begin to pool between her legs. He took in her nipple and she arched up into his mouth, wanting to get even closer to him. Buffy reached her hand down, and took his shaft into her hands, beginning to pump it slowly. He groaned against her breasts, sending vibrations and chills through her body.


She pulled him to her entrance, and he looked up with a smirk, “Impatient as always.”


She gave him a coy smile before flipping them around so that Spike was on his back and she was hovering over him. She positioned herself over him, and slowly sunk down on his shaft. The sensation of his cool shaft penetrating and filling her warm heat made her groan and throw her head back in pleasure. Spike gripped the side of the bed and clenched his jaw, trying to control himself from jerking upwards harshly.


She began to ride him as she placed her hands on his chest, both with their eyes closed in ecstasy.


“Look at me,” Spike rasped.


Buffy opened her eyes and stared down into his, drowning in the emotions running between them. She continued to rock against him, squeezing him as she pushed forward. A thin layer of sweat formed on her chest and she was close to panting for air.


He moved up with her, driving his cock in deeper when she thrust forward.


“Unh,” she breathed, as each thrust sent her closer and closer to her goal.


At the sound of her heart beating rapidly, Spike couldn’t stand it any longer. He flipped them suddenly and pumped into her at a quickened speed, making her gasp louder and louder.


He leaned down to kiss her, keeping up the pace as his tongue battled with hers. Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes and the look he saw there told him everything.


“Spike,” she gasped. She tilted her neck invitingly to the side, and his eyes deepened in renewed lust at her subtle action.


“Buffy,” he whispered back. Slamming into her, he sent her over the edge and she began to milk him tightly. Spike felt like his body was on fire, and as he came, he vamped out and plunged his fangs into her soft neck.


The feel of his teeth slicing into her neck brought on a tinge of pain, but the pleasure that flooded over it was intense, escalating her orgasm until she was gasping heavily for air and convulsing up against him. She felt him begin to draw blood, and a new wave of fluids rushed out in between her legs, covering his cock. She felt the room spin as he prolonged her intense orgasm. With Spike coming into her frantically, she never wanted the moment to end.


The blood hit his mouth and he jerked into her at the sensation. Feeling nothing but love, he wondered why it had taken so long for him to realize it. Buffy’s heart began to skip a beat, so he pulled back with a final roar as he came into her one last time. He collapsed on top of her, head in between her breasts, and knew that was the best thing he had ever felt in his life.


Her heavy breathing and clouded vision began to clear, as the slight pain in her neck became stronger. She looked down at Spike’s head lovingly and made a noise of satisfaction.


Buffy closed her eyes and an image flashed in her head. It was Spike from the end of her dream. Eyes shooting open, everything seemed to snap into perfect clarity. With a frown, she reached to the left side of her neck and touched the wound. Bringing her hand back slowly in front of her face, all she saw was blood.


Spike looked up at her in question and saw the blood. “I’m sorry, luv,” he apologized. He smirked, “Let me get that for you.”


He moved up her body to clean it up, but she jerked back from him. With a confused look, he asked, “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His eyes shone with concern as he scanned her expression.


She was wide-eyed, starring at him like he was a stranger. Everything felt harsher all of a sudden – the light, the sheets, the stickiness in between them. And like a blind woman given eyes, she realized what she had just done. ‘I let Spike bite me. I slept with him, multiple times!’ she repeated to herself. ‘What have I been doing?’


The course of regret ran through her as she admonished herself for the little fantasy world she had entered willingly. She had been playing boyfriend-girlfriend with Spike. Instead of finding a way home to her family and friends and her life, she was here pretending this was ok. And worst of all, she just let him bite her, and she liked it. A lot.


She managed to choke out, “I have to go.” She began to pull away, wiping at her neck furiously to catch the blood.


Spike’s look was of total confusion and panic. “What? Why? Did I hurt you, baby?” He moved forward to catch her in his arms, but she pulled away with a sob.


“No, you didn’t,” she searched for her pants. She wouldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at the hurt in his eyes or she might break and give in. She had to be strong.


“Buffy! What’s wrong?” he asked desperately.


“I can’t do this,” she choked out a sob. “I have to go, now.”


His panic was at a peak as he grabbed Buffy by the arms and forced her to look at him. He saw the tears gleaming in her eyes and he shook her by the shoulders. “Tell me what’s wrong! Is it because I bit you? I didn’t think it would hurt you, I swear.”


She shook her head and looked away.


He used anger as a cover-up for the unbearable hurt he was feeling. He gritted out, “What the bloody hell is it then?”


She inhaled a deep breath to gather the strength to say, “I don’t think this is going to work out. This,” she pointed between them, “isn’t right.” She flashed him a look of sincere apology, “I’m sorry, Spike.”


His hands dropped to his side in shock as he moved his head back to look at her as if he didn’t hear her correctly. She took this opportunity to dive past him, and ran down the stairs, out of his house.


As Spike came out of his daze, his hurt and anger boiled to the surface, and he picked up the lamp on his nightstand and flung it violently against the mirror, yelling in frustration. The mirror shattered at the center and the lamp broke into pieces, as he fell to his knees and gasped for unnecessary breaths.


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