A/N: I don’t know anything about Latin. I totally used an online translator which probably did it wrong. I really don’t think it matters, but I apologize to those who know Latin for the butchered phrases, lol.


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Three long, excruciating days.


For three days, Spike tried to go to Buffy and figure out what was wrong. Each night, he went to her crypt at least twice in a desperate need to see her, but to no avail.


---Three days ago---


He tried to open the crypt door, but it seemed to be barricaded. It only fueled his anger and desperation because he could sense she was there.


“Buffy!” he roared as he slammed his shoulder into her door. It moved ever so slightly, but what ever was blocking it was really heavy. “Let me in, damn it! I know you’re in there!”


As he slammed his shoulder painfully into the door over and over, he sensed her moving away. “Buffy, luv, please let me see you,” he pleaded desperately. He sounded like a lovesick puppy, but at that moment, he couldn’t care less.


When Spike had started pounding on the door, Buffy shrank back against the wall. Her eyes were puffy and she had dark circles under them. She didn’t want to see him, because she knew she would cave. Shutting her eyes, she tried to remain strong. But when she heard her stone barricade begin to move, she panicked.


Looking around, she saw the only way was to go downstairs. ‘The tunnels!’ she remembered suddenly. Looking back one last time at the door with a pained expression, she turned and escaped.


With a last heave, Spike pushed his way into the crypt. “Buffy!” he yelled, more hurt than angry now. His eyes scanned the room until it settled on the ladder. Moving with big strides, he moved his way downstairs, ready to drag her out of there. Eyes confused, he realized she was gone.


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Now, standing in the cemetery in front of her door, he looked genuinely pissed. Buffy had done the same thing for 3 days, and he ached for her. He hadn’t gotten much sleep – all he thought about was why she would suddenly pull away from him. He smirked as an idea came to him.


Buffy knew she was being avoidant, to say the least, but she didn’t know what to tell him when he knew nothing the truth about her and where she came from. She had been secretly visiting Tara and checking up on the spell, but they told her that the ingredients were taking longer than expected. So in the meantime, she made a significant effort to avoid Spike at all costs.


Buffy sensed him outside of her door, and her heart began to race. He didn’t make an effort to knock or yell for the longest time, and she stepped closer curiously. Then, her senses began to fade, as he seemed to move away. Confused, she frowned. What she was doing was wrong – she needed to be looking for a way home instead of losing herself in Spike – but why did it feel so right?


With a pout, she made her way downstairs to her bedroom. And as soon as she put her foot down on the floor, she was seized by the shoulders and slammed against the wall. She gasped in surprise as Spike’s intensely angry eyes glared at her. Buffy looked around frantically, wondering how he got in.


“Surprised to see me, luv? Didn’t think you could pull the tunnel trick on me forever did you?” his words were laced with bitter hurt.


“Let me go,” she said with closed eyes.


“No.”


“Spike,” her voice wavered.


“Why are you doing this, Buffy?” his voice softened into desperation. His hands ran down her arms, savoring the touch he had been missing for three days. He leaned into her hair and brushed his face up against her cheek with his eyes closed.


She could do nothing but remain there pinned between his body and the wall, heart pounding rapidly at his touch. He brushed her hair away from her neck and looked at his bite marks.
Lightly, Spike ran his fingers over the two closed punctures. She whimpered involuntarily.


“Stop,” she whispered in an unconvincing tone.


“Why?” he asked again, pulling his head back to look at her.


She tried to concentrate on anything else but his fingers brushing against her tender marks. She opened her eyes to look straight in his eyes, and she almost forgot her response at his look of hurt and affection. “We shouldn’t be together.”


“Bollocks,” Spike replied, pissed.


She shook her head vehemently. “I’m the Slayer, Spike, chipped or not. This isn’t right – this isn’t normal,” she convinced herself.


“So what? You suddenly sprang a saintly uptight conscience?” Spike asked incredulously. “I thought we were over this!” He let her go and stepped back, throwing his hands in frustration.


She looked down, avoiding his incriminating gaze.


“Did you plan this?” he gritted out, fists clenched.


“What?” her eyes shot up to his at that. “Plan what??”


He took a stride toward her, stopping inches from her face. “To make me fall in love with you so you could watch me sputter around like a nancy-boy.”


The stubborn part of her felt outraged that he would even suggest something like that. “What? How could you think that?” she ground out in a low, but trembling voice. “Of course I didn’t!”


“Was it revenge?” his voice was laced with anger.


“Revenge?” she asked, confused.


“For when I told you I was using you. Was this your plan to get back at me? Because it bloody well worked. You deserve a sodding oscar for that performance, pet.”


Outraged at his implications, Buffy shot him an angry and hurt look, “You know I wasn’t acting that, Spike.”


“I thought I knew you. I really don’t know anymore,” he replied in defeat. Running his hands through his hair, he turned his back on her and exhaled.


She felt like a knife was shoved through her heart, wishing that she could make it ok.


He spoke as he turned his head slightly, but not turning around, “What do you want, Buffy?”


A long pause passed between them. ‘You,’ Buffy thought to herself as she closed her eyes. Instead she said to him, “I just want to be alone.” She hated herself at that moment. Buffy didn’t realize Spike had left until she opened her eyes to an empty room.


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“Finally! We now have all the ingredients,” Willow announced happily. She placed the last jar on the table along with the other ingredients and the spell.


“Are we sure about this?” Tara asked hesitantly.


“Tara, there’s nothing to worry about. Trust me,” Willow comforted.


Tara gave her girlfriend a small smile. In the pit of her stomach, she didn’t like the feeling she got about this spell. It felt like something bad was going to happen.


“So should we go find Spike and Buffy?” Xander asked, walking up to the table.


The door opened and Spike came sauntering in looking like shit.


“Speak of the devil,” Xander joked, but his light expression quickly melted when Spike shot him a glare.


“Any l-luck?” Tara asked with a sympathetic look.


“No,” he grumbled out. “Bloody bitch won’t tell me what’s wrong.”


“Well I still don’t understand what happened,” Anya said. They all gave him questioning looks. All Spike had told them was that Buffy just suddenly didn’t want to see him.


Spike flashed them a look before looking down and lying, “Nothing. We were together and the next minute she freaked out.” He knew what they would say when they find out that he bit her, and he wasn’t willing to admit that, not now when Buffy obviously didn’t want it.


They gave him a suspicious look, but he looked up defensively, “What? Sod off!”


Changing the subject, Giles said, “Well, we’re ready to do the spell now. Shouldn’t one of us go get Buffy?”


Spike scoffed and said, “Good luck trying to get her to open the bloody door.”


“She’ll come around,” Tara offered in a comforting voice, referring to their relationship.


Spike’s jaw was tightly clenched as he looked away, not wanting them to see the emotions in his eyes. Even Xander felt kind of bad for the guy. Spike looked like he just had his heart ripped out, and of course, he was being a big grump for the last three days.


“I’ll be outside,” Spike muttered as he turned to leave.


The door closed behind him and Xander said, “Poor guy, he looks like he’s had his favorite toy taken away.”


The rest of them looked at him incredulously.


“What? It’s an analogy! I’m not calling Buffy a toy!” Xander said defensively.


~


Spike walked outside the Magic Box, and stopped in his tracks as he came face to face with Buffy. Seeing the shocked look on her face and her body tense, he bit out, “Well, goldilocks finally emerges from her cottage. I thought you wanted to be alone?”


“Spike…I-,” she began. Buffy exhaled and tried to relax her body before looking up at him. She felt a stab inside at the look that Spike had given her earlier and was giving her now. It was the same one of anger and hurt, and she knew that she not only caused it, but she couldn’t even give him a real explanation.


With a genuinely remorseful look, she said, “I know I don’t make sense to you right now, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have let all this happen in the first place.”


He scoffed, “Bollocks. And you know it.” Anger began to build up inside him at her words, and he started pacing back and forth in front of her, “You’re telling me, all of that was just a mistake to you??”


She looked down, averting his incredulous expression.


“You’re bloody unbelievable!” he exclaimed. He yelled out in frustration and pulled on his hair. Exhaling, his angry expression melted into one of defeat. Spike took a big stride forward, bringing himself right up against Buffy.


She was about to move back to put space between them, but Spike grabbed her by both the shoulders and held her still. She tensed, and struggled slightly, but his bruising grip still her.


Spike slowly loosened his tight grip on her shoulders. With one hand still holding her down, he ran his right hand up through her hair and brushed it back, causing her to turn away from his touch.


“Look at me,” he demanded. Slowly, she turned back to look at him in the eyes, afraid that he would see past her silly resolve and discover that she wasn’t too far away from being putty in his hands.


But Spike could see it. He saw the conflicting emotions in her eyes, and knew she didn’t really think it was a mistake. It couldn’t possibly be just the whole vampire-slayer factor. But getting her to admit it is a different thing.


He ran the back of his hand along her cheek, and she closed her eyes at his touch. Spike leaned in and pleaded, “Tell me what’s wrong, luv. Whatever it is, we’ll make it work.”


She had to control herself from letting out a choked sound. Then she began to panic as Spike gazed at her lips and started to lean in towards her. Buffy moved back, but Spike pulled her to him and captured her lips in a needy kiss.


At first, she made a muffled protest into his mouth, but his persistent caresses made her melt against him and soon she began to return the kiss without resistance, completely forgetting this is exactly what she was supposed to stop doing.


Her hands came up behind his neck and pulled him closer, allowing him to deepen the kiss and feel her body flush against his. The sexual frustration that they had been containing for the past few days was suddenly let out as their tongues intermingled and their hands roamed over each other’s bodies.


“Mm,” Buffy moaned into him, causing his arousal to harden even more.


Inside, Spike felt a wave of relief that he had finally gotten her back in his arms, and he craved the feel of skin against his. He grabbed her ass and hoisted her up, bringing her legs to wrap around his waist.


Their little romp was suddenly interrupted as the Magic Box door opened to reveal Xander, Anya, and Willow looking out to see what was going on.


Willow blushed and Xander looked disgusted as he shielded his eyes. “Oh holy mother of-“


Anya just beamed and said, “I knew there would be more orgasms in their future!”


Spike and Buffy pulled apart, panting slightly. Still carrying Buffy, Spike gave them the most annoyed look at the intrusion. Buffy looked sheepish as she slid her body down to the ground.


“What?” Spike barked.


“Um, well, we were just going to tell you that the spell is ready,” Willow answered.


“So are you guys back together?” Xander asked.


Spike looked at Buffy with a questioning and hopeful look. Buffy looked between all of their expectant faces before turning back to Spike. She asked, “Can we just talk about this after the spell?”


He looked disappointed at first, but quickly masked his expression and gave her a reassuring smile. “Sure, luv. Let’s go.” At least she wasn’t saying no.


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Tara and Giles heard what was going on outside, and Tara was relieved to see Spike and Buffy walk in together. Her expression flickered with curiosity as she caught a glimpse of two marks on Buffy’s neck as her hair moved slightly away from her neck. She kept it to herself, for now.


“So we’re good to go?” Buffy asked as she walked over to the circle they had set up on the floor and looked down at the ingredients.


“Yea, all set,” Tara replied, pretending she didn’t see anything. Willow and Tara sat down on the ground as the others backed up to give them room.


“Is that a cauldron??” Buffy asked, surprised.


“I know, what kind of medieval spell is this?” Willow joked.


“You just need some big green warts and you’re all set,” Xander added.


Tara and Willow began putting the ingredients in one at a time.


“Isn’t it supposed to go ‘poof’ or something?” Buffy questioned.


Willow and Tara shrugged. They put in the last ingredient, the silver trinket, and nothing happened.


“Do we stir?” Willow asked with a frown.


“I don’t know...,” Tara replied, hesitant.


“Oh! I know,” Willow straightened herself up and put her hand over the cauldron. “Certamen, agon!” [Combine!]


The cauldron began to glow, and the rest of them stepped away. Willow and Tara jumped back in their sitting position when the paper with the spell began to rise off the ground. It floated in the air and turned itself so Willow could view it in front of her. Gold glowing lines flew across the page in cursive as everyone starred at it with wide-eyes.


“What does it say?” Giles inquired, truly intrigued at this sight.


“This spell…will reveal the person…who does not belong… in your dimension,” Willow squinted as she tried to decipher. “…If someone is revealed to you, then the use of….the Rajendra Gem has already…begun.” The gold writing continued on and wrote out the spell.


Buffy’s mind seemed to click at the words. Her eyes widened. The person who does not belong in your dimension. She went into panic-mode and began to step back.


Spike looked at her expression quizzically and reached out to touch her, but she pulled back suddenly. Hurt and worry crept into him, but Buffy just drew back more.


“Ahh, it has to do with the gem,” Giles said as understanding dawned on him.


“Should I continue?” Willow asked excitedly.


“No!” Buffy blurted out. They all turned to look at her.


“Why not?” Giles asked.


Her mouth opened to give a response, but she was having trouble. “Well…what, what if it’s dangerous?”


“It’s not dangerous if it’s only going to tell us if the gem is in use,” Willow pointed out.


Buffy had nothing else she could say, and she began to breathe heavily as the room started to whirl around her in panic. Spike sensed her turmoil and walked over to her, putting his arms around her with a worried expression. “What’s wrong, luv?”


She didn’t answer, but her heart continued to beat rapidly as Willow started reciting,


“Nos precor vox of gemma ,
ostendo sum unus quisnam steps ex alius regnum,”
[We invoke the powers of the gem,
reveal the one who steps from another realm.]


The intensity of the light coming from the cauldron grew as Willow continued,


“Nos dico super thee ,
ostendo nos solus unus quisnam can reperio refero!”
[We call upon thee,
show us the only one who can find the answer!]


As a flash went off through the room, Buffy pushed back violently against Spike, falling to the ground. The others stood up, eyes wide in shock as Buffy looked up at them from the ground, dressed in completely different clothes. She looked disheveled and dirty. Her hair was in disarray and her skin was tainted with dirt. Most of all, there seemed to be a force field around her, flickers going off at the edges.


“Bu-,” Spike began hesitantly.


She shot him a glare and spat out, “What the hell did you guys do to me?!”


His eyes flickered with confusion as he looked her over. This wasn’t his Buffy. Her demeanor was different, less calm, less…good.


He eyed her suspiciously. “Who are you and what did you do with Buffy?” he demanded as the entire room vamped out in understanding.


“I AM Buffy, you idiot!” she yelled furiously. “Where did you send me?? Was this some sort of sick way of getting rid of me just because I said I love you??” She was the Buffy from the day Spike had rejected her proclamation of love – the day right before she showed up on his porch all crazy.



Spike’s head reeled with confusion. His mind slowly traced back to that day, when Buffy had shown up on his porch and claimed amnesia. They had all let it fly by with no questions asked, and his mouth opened in realization as he remembered the words of the spell: This spell will reveal the person who does not belong in your dimension.


‘Buffy’ moved forward, but as she hit the force-field, another big flash went off, blinding everyone. The paper with the spell fell to the ground, and the cauldron stopped glowing.


Opening their eyes and readjusting, they saw that the magic had ended and Buffy was in a heap on the ground. In her regular clothes and sans-dirt.


Looking up in a confused dazed, Buffy’s watery eyes searched for understanding of what just happened. Tremors ran through her body. For a minute, she had slipped out of reality and into a dream where she was in a cave. Now, she was back in the Magic Box gazing at their vamped out faces.


“What just happened?” she choked out. She felt lightheaded and the tears were filling her eyes, blinding her vision. She blinked them away to focus on the image of Spike in front of her.


“Who the bloody hell are you?” Spike demanded as everyone remained on guard. His fist was clenched and his body ready to attack if she turned out to be some evil force.


“Spike?” Buffy asked with confused eyes. She looked at his demeanor, as well as everyone else’s, and they were ready to rush her.


“You’re not from this world,” Giles pieced it together. “That’s why you couldn’t remember things about us before…”


Spike growled in warning and they all stepped forward.


Buffy shook her head vehemently, “I can explain!” Her head pounded as she tried to calm herself down.


“That’s why you seemed different…and you thought you had a soul…,” Tara said in her own revelation.


“Everything makes so much sense now,” Xander said with a furrowed brow. “You not knowing about vampires being good, about Angel, about everything!”


“Why are you here?” Giles asked sternly.


Tears began to roll down Buffy’s cheek. “I don’t know!” she choked out. “I just woke up one day and I was here.”


She wiped furiously at the tears in her eyes. She felt like all of her aggravation about being stuck here was finally coming out. Buffy had let herself live a fantasy world in order to compensate for the utter sense of hopelessness. Now, not only did desperation fill her with a need to go home, but she also felt remorse for lying to them all. Lying to Spike.


“So what the hell were you doing this whole time?” Spike yelled. “Messing with my head??”


She looked guilty and started to say, “I didn’t mean to-,”


“Get out.”


She looked up at him in alarm. His eyes were filled with fury and his entire body was tense. Buffy saw the betrayed look, and she closed her eyes as she felt a pang of guilt.


“GET OUT!” Spike roared as he picked up a chair and threw it across the room, smashing it against the wall.


Buffy flinched and got up quickly, shooting him one last look of regret before she turned her back and left. As the tears were sliding down her face, she realized why it hurt so much. She was in love with Spike.


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