A/N: I'm sorry for not updating in a while, but my RL have been stressful. Someone still following this fic? Leave a review then, pretty please? ;)

I also have the pleasure to tell you I do no longer have one beta, but two! Thank you Amarysso for offering to do this, and giving me a second opinion on my story. Luxferi, you've been with me since the beginning, can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your support! *hugs both of you*



* * *

Spike had to run the rest of the way back to the factory, the sun’s dangerous rays licked his back and he had to throw the factory door open and then himself on the dirty stone floor. He managed to save the bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand by holding up his arm high above his head. He landed flat on his stomach.

Spike grunted, put the bottle on the ground and got up to his feet.

”Honey, I’m hooome!” He chuckled to himself. Spike had fulfilled his task: getting drunk again, before dawn.

There was no answer. In fact, the factory was as quiet as the grave and there was no sign of unlife anywhere. Spike searched the building, went through the factory hall and into a room at the side; his bedroom.

It was safe to say that the vision that greeted him was not appreciated. Spike’s stomach turned at the sight of exhausted bodies on top of each other. In the candlelight, the white flesh glistened with sweat, and other fluids Spike didn’t wish to examine any further.

Déjà vu.

*Bloody, buggerin’ déjà vu!* Spike was sure he’d lived this before.

He roared. A mixture of a human shouting at the top of his lungs, and an animal in rage. Drusilla wakened immediately and tiptoed over to her childe to usher him out of the bedroom. Angelus laid still on the bed, sleeping like a log.

”Dru- What are you- I told you-!” Spike couldn’t find the words. He looked at her, his eyes filled with anger and disappointment but his voice was nearly pleading. Violence became the only solution and he grabbed and trashed whatever he could reach in a fit of uncontrollable rage.

Drusilla giggled at the mess he was making. ”Sweet William, why don’t you come join us? Make mommy happy?”

”I won’t bloody!- You’re not going in there! You’re mine, Dru!”

”We’re a family, my sweet prince, come dance with me?”

”We’re not a family, he’s a bloody guest in my bloody house! You don’t-” He stopped himself and lowered his voice.”You don’t… listen to me, Dru. I told you, I won’t tolerate this. He’s… out.”

For a moment Drusilla seemed sane, the craziness that usually surrounded her was gone and she ran to the doorway of their bedroom and protected the entrance with her naked, skinny body.

”Daddy stays, Spike.”

Spike looked at her incredulously.

”I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You’re hardly around. And you taste like ashes.”

”Him? Him?!” Spike chuckled manically in disbelief. ”After all these years, everything I’ve done for you! We’re one and the same Dru, you and me, nothing will bugger that up!”

Drusilla shook her head in disagreement. ”You’re lost to me, Spike. Long gone. Mommy has to give you up.”

”What?! Are you trying to put this on me?”

”I can see her, floating all around you. Thieving. Taking you away from me.”

”What? Who?”

”Sunshine, William, sunshine.”

”Dru, stop with the gibberish-”

”Why can’t you kill her?”

In that moment everything stopped. Spike knew immediately who she was talking about. All the anger seemed to drain and he was left standing there completely empty, staring at his sire. The Slayer. Buffy.Yeah, why couldn’t he kill her? He’d had his chances, a couple of times. Sunshine. Dru seemed to always have the right words for everything, even if she was a nutter. Buffy was sunshine all right: beautiful, dangerous.

”I can,” he said, but he could hear himself how hollow the words sounded.

”You’re lying.”

”Dru.”

”It doesn’t matter, Spike. Daddy has a plan, Daddy will make everything right again. He’ll bring you back to us, and the stars will sing again…” she started humming to herself and giggled childishly.

”Daddy will make everything the way it was.”

Daddy. Spike knew who ’daddy’ was all right – that bloody nancy-boy lying on his fat arse on Spike’s bed. He resisted the urge to go in there and wake him up with his fists. Spike cast one last look at Dru before he left, his jaw set tight as he grabbed his liquor bottle and headed down to the sewers.


* * *

Tape. That foreshadowing yellow tape. Funny how a piece of plastic could turn her heart into ice. Buffy hurried the last couple of meters until she stood in front of the closed door.

She didn’t give herself time to think about it, she knew it would only lead to hesitation. She pushed down the door handle with her elbow, not wanting to leave fingerprints, and the door swung open.

The first thing that greeted her was the smell. That sweet scent of death still lingered in the air and when she opened the door it reached her nostrils. She didn’t dare to step inside. Buffy knew there was probably nothing left to see, the police must have moved the body by now, but still she felt her heart speed up and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself down. She just stood there, taking in the small area of the room, and what was on the floor.

Blood and roses.

Sounded like a rock song, one of those that became major hits on the radio and that Buffy used to sing along to. But it wasn’t. To Buffy the sight of the red petals on the ground was the sign of doom. Her stomach clenched as guilt washed over her.

*You should have known*

Buffy covered her mouth with her hand to keep a gasp from coming out.

Her eyes traveled to the blood. There was so much blood. The large stain on the floor had turned rust brown. She was used to blood. Had seen a lot of it in the past two years, but this particular stain terrified her. Buffy decided to run. She spun around, only to bump right into someone.

”Buffy!” Buffy looked startled at the person in front of her. *Xander?* ”What are you doing here?”

”I…” Buffy looked around, confused. ”I just wanted to...”

”See if it was true?”

”Yeah.”

”I’m just getting some books for Willow,” Xander explained. ”They called her this morning, wanted her to fill in for Ms. Calendar on Monday. Now it’s official, right? Snyder has a heart of stone.”

”How is she? Willow?”

”She’s… not that good. You should talk to her. Her and Jenny, they were kind of close. The holy bond of the computer nerds.” Xander gave her a faint smile.

Buffy nodded, and glanced into Jenny’s classroom again. With Xander at her side, the reality seemed less threatening. It was just a room after all. She stood quiet, staring at the blood on the floor.

”What did he do?”

”You don’t want to know.”

Buffy turned around to look at Xander. Did he know? She hadn’t expected an answer.”Yes. Yes, I do.”

Xander sighed, but gave in. ”Giles… I don’t know, he got the police report somehow. The guy I talked to said he was scary. Giles? Scary? Must have met the wrong guy. Anyway, I just had a quick look at it.”

”What did he do?”

”He cut her throat off.” Xander said seriously and looked straight into Buffy’s eyes. ”So that she couldn’t scream. And then… he raped her while she bled to death.”

Buffy stood frozen on the spot in the school corridor. Her eyes were transfixed on the brown stain on the floor while Xander’s voice seemed to fade away and be replaced by the growing sound of her heart, beating.

This wasn’t about feeding. Not about surviving. He didn’t even drink from her. This was for fun.

Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat, blinked back a couple of tears, until gradually a change came over her features. With her jaw set tight, her lips pressed tightly together and her fists clenched at her sides she wore a new look of determination.

”… said the autopsy report should be back sometime next week.” Xander stopped. ”Buffy?”

”You’re right. I didn’t want to know that.”

And she walked with determined steps out of the school building.

* * *

Buffy had been out for hours. Leaving home a couple of hours before sunset she had headed to the factory to settle things once and for all. She was going to find Angelus and she was going to kill him. She had set her mind to do it and there was nothing stopping her. If she found him, that is… When she reached the factory the building was empty, the main room trashed and there was no sign of neither Angelus, Dru or Spike.

Since then Buffy had searched the cemeteries tired, frustrated and pissed off. She wanted to find him now, find him and get it over with. Kill him. There was no room left for doubt. Buffy just had to let herself feel and she knew she was doing the right thing. But it didn’t make things less hard.

She was patrolling her eighth cemetery when she heard a strange sound a bit further ahead. She ran, the wind caught her hair as she used her outmost slayer speed to catch up with it. She was disappointed at what she found.

”Spi-ike!” She whined. Why couldn’t it have been something she could kill? Why couldn’t it have been Angelus?

That Spike was sitting on his ass in the middle of the cemetery didn’t seem to surprise or seem weird to Buffy.

”Shlayer!” Spike said thickly and made a waving gesture with his arm while he tried to stand up, which only resulted in him falling down on his butt again. ”Fhancy seeing you here.”

”That’s pretty much me, the girl who lives in cemeteries… Wait. Are you - drunk?”

”Nope.” Spike drew out the word and made the ’p’ pop. He tried to stand up again, and this time he succeeded, but not without wobbling.

”Spike! You are so drunk!”

”Not!”

”Are too!”

”Well, miss shmart…leather…pants-” Spike had noticed her clothing and grinned appreciatively in her direction, his tongue behind his teeth, in typical Spike manner, something that was usually sexy, but this time, with him being drunk, was…not.

Spike continued, ”Not drunk- ” he grabbed the liquor bottle that was lying on the grass beneath him, ”- enough.”

Spike was grinning like mad, and brought the bottle up to his face, tilted his head and studied the liquid through the glass. He looked like he was going to nuzzle the poor bottle.

”I’m gonna…drink you up! Nicceee bottle…”


”You’re talking to a bottle.”

”What of it?” Spike growled.

”I think you’ve had enough.”

Buffy snatched the bottle out of his hand. She might have wished to take the liquor from the vampire, but as she probably should have guessed, there was nothing you can do without facing the consequences. She heard only a half-hearted attempt at a roar, before someone - that would be Spike - tackled her to the ground.

Buffy’s attempt at getting away from her attacker, or rather getting her attacker off of her, by kicking and screaming, seemed to only leave the two blondes’ limbs even more entwined. When Buffy finally gathered this she stopped fighting, and looked up, from where she was lying face down in the grass, at Spike who was crawling across her back, still trying to get to the bottle Buffy was holding in her hand.

”Oi! Ghive it back!”

”No can do!” Buffy said and threw the bottle into the nearest headstone making the glass break and the liquid splash over the stone surface. With her hands firmly placed on the ground in front of her she managed to push herself up, and Spike off her at the same time.

”What did you-!” Spike exclaimed in utter despair as he saw his precious bottle shatter into a million pieces. ”I needed that! It was my only-”

”Spike? Come on…” Buffy said disbelievingly.

She almost thought he was going to cry, his eyes were so round and clear and when he stared at her he-

Buffy thought right.

Spike was again sitting on his ass in the cemetery but this time he was indeed crying. Buffy looked at him dumbfounded, not believing her eyes. What the hell was going on?

“Why did you do it, baby?” Spike mumbled and sniffed loudly. “Why did you leave me? We were happy, Dru....”

“Spike...?” Buffy asked cautiously. She’d never seen him like this. “What’s going on?”

“She doesn’t want me anymore!” Spike exclaimed and started to sob uncontrollably.

“Um...” Buffy crouched beside him and patted his back. “I’m sure whatever’s going on, it will be all right.”

“I dunno...” Spike said, doubting and shaking his head. “Maybe if I tie her up and torture her real good, you know? Maybe she’ll come back. But she’s so goddamn stubborn. Insane is what she is.“

“Spike I don’t think that’s a good idea...what with the...torture. Do you really want her back?”

“’Course I do! Why wouldn’t I? We’re forever, you know, eternal love? Literally!”

Spike might have tried to convince Buffy, but he wasn’t entirely convinced himself. He didn’t know what he wanted. That was part of why he’d gotten himself this drunk. His life had been turned upside-down in just a week and although he could blame Angelus for most of it, a lot had to do with a certain young woman crouching beside him.

Buffy on the other hand, seemed to be convinced. She stood up, a bit more annoyed than she was comfortable with.

“Fine.” She snapped. “But you know what? She doesn’t. She cheated on you. You told me and you said you wouldn’t let her do that! So stop with the moping, all right! She made her choice. You’re better off without her.”

“Easy for you to say.” He hiccuped and dried his nose with the back of his hand. “Been with her for a century. Should have heard the things she said...”

“Well do you think it’s easy for me? It’s my boyfriend she’s macking on! You know, I thought I really liked him. I had feelings for him... I let him touch me. And now he’d killed someone I know, someone I care about. Do you have any idea what that feels like? I should hate him, you know? And I do, but some small part of me is still hoping that there’s something good in him, just buried real deep, and...” Buffy glanced over at Spike, who was now lying on his back in the grass. ”Are you even listening?”

Buffy poked his side with her index finger. “Spike?” No answer. She sighed. “Wakey, wakey!”

Nothing.

He was out cold.

Buffy tried another approach. Squeezed his nose between her thumb and index finger. Pulled him up by his arms and dropped him down to the ground again. It didn’t help. She thought about doing that thing she’d seen the wrestlers do on TV, jumping and landing with their elbow in the gut of the opponent. Buffy skipped the elbow part and settled for giving Spike a hard push and sat down on his stomach.

Nothing helped.

While she was sitting there, still on that nice pack of abs she was feeling through his shirt, she couldn’t help studying his angelic face. While angelic may be the wrong word, too close for comfort as it lead to thoughts about another vampire, it still was the best way to describe him. Buffy’s gaze wandered over his closed eyelids that hid those wonderful blue eyes, over his sharp cheek bones, that pale skin and what seemed to be the softest lips in the world. Oh they were, had to be. Buffy remembered what it felt like to feel those pressed against her own. Would it be so wrong if she felt them again? Fingertips of course, completely harmless. Right?

Buffy couldn’t resist. Slowly she reached out and put her hand on his cheek. Feather light it travelled down to his chin and she brushed her thumb against his lips. Yes, soft.

The sudden sound of a bird flying out of a nearby tree and the rustling branches made Buffy snap out of her haze. She drew her hand back as if she’d been burned and stood up, shaking.

She had to make a choice. She could leave him here, or... What? Take him home, tuck him in? Take him back to the factory? But the sun would be up soon... *There are a few hours left.* Buffy reminded herself. She looked down upon him. He looked so innocent, so human. And he had helped her out so many times, she owed him this. Right?

*You’re going to regret it.* she thought.

Buffy grabbed both of his arms, tried to drag him up, before she bent down to throw him over her shoulder. He was heavy, but not too heavy for an active Slayer. The problem was rather trying to keep him on her shoulder to keep him from being too heavy a weight. With a firm grip around his lower thighs, Buffy began her way back home to Revello Drive.

She hadn’t come far when she heard Spike mumble something incoherent, from where he was hanging over her shoulder. She was just about to put him back on his feet and tell him to walk on his own, when she felt a hard smack on her ass.

If the Slayer had paid attention she might have noticed the vampire waking up and saying something about a “spankable ass” before he brought his hand to her buttocks.

She didn’t. Instead the two of them tumbled to the ground again, and this time it was Buffy that was yelling, upset.

“Spike, what the hell are you doing?!”

She didn’t get an answer. Spike had flopped down from her shoulder like a dead fish. He didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. It was no wonder Buffy thought he had blacked out again.

He hadn’t. Waking up and finding an ass at eye-level had its advantages according to Spike, and drunk as he was it didn’t occur to him how immature it was to pretend to be unconscious to get another peek.

Spike usually got his way and this time was no exception. After much muttering on Buffy’s part, he was once again loaded on her shoulder and she was steadily making her way home.

“Stupid...bleached... fangy person...” Buffy muttered. “I should’ve left you. Carrying around an unconscious vampire...” Buffy snorted to herself. “And you said you weren’t crazy...”

Buffy continued her ramble in a false, cheery tone and with a plastered smile on her face:

“Sleeping vampire anyone? Special price! You get the alcohol breath and blood lust in the bargain, come on people! If you nip his butt, he’ll spank your ass!”

The silence in the cemetery was her only answer – although Spike had a hard time to keep from laughing - and Buffy stopped her charade. “Stupid..” she muttered.

Spike on the other hand was having the time of his life - or at least that was what it felt like in his drunken bliss. He was still watching the Slayer’s hips sway and those buttocks move in her tight leather pants as they reached Revello Drive.

This time he forbore from touching.





A/N: Please let me know what you think, okay? I can't get enought of those pretty little reviews, and I always answer. Make me happy? ; )