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Ch 3 - Introductions Are In Order
Disclaimer: These characters in no way belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox. The story, however, is totally my own creation. This is the second book in my Kindred Series.
Author's Note: In the original posting of the previous chapter William introduced himself in the final paragraph as William Barrett III. As he was already mentioned as being William Atherton III in Chapter Two of Book One, this was a mistake on my part. Thanks to Luba for catching that for me. It has been corrected now, but I wanted to mention this for anyone else who may have read the original posting and been confused.
Kindred Series
Kindred: (noun) A group of related persons, such as a family, clan, or tribe.
(adj.) Having a similar or related origin or nature.
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BOOK TWO
THE PAST REVISITED
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Chapter Three
Introductions Are In Order
It was Angel who hurried to respond to the question. “You’re in my house in Sunnydale, California, Will…in America.”
William looked a bit nonplussed by that answer. He frowned and muttered to himself softly so the others had trouble catching all of it. “America. Why in God’s name would I ever want to come to the colonies? Well, I guess that explains a lot right there.” Again, that response elicited a smile from Angel and Giles who could both appreciate and echo those sentiments and had on several occasions. William looked up again and slowly asked the question he most dreaded hearing the answer to, but the one he suspected was most pertinent. “I see, and could you also please tell me today’s exact date, including the year?”
This time it was Dawn who spoke up, wanting to be helpful. “It’s October 18th, 2002.” Even though she had already figured out that William had amnesia and had overheard Buffy’s conversation with Angel indicating that he apparently didn’t remember becoming a vampire and still thought he was in the 1880s, Dawn wasn’t prepared for the effect her response had on William. All color, what little he had anyway, drained out of his face and he sat down slowly on the couch next to her shaking his head. He stared blankly ahead for a few minutes, during which time the others regarded him carefully, and then leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. Softly muttered epithets barely reached Dawn’s ears, but Angel caught most of them with his vampiric hearing and shook his head sympathetically. This would not be easy at all for his grandchilde, but he was handling it admirably so far, all things considered. After what seemed like an eternity to Buffy, William finally raised his head back up and addressed them all without focusing on anyone specific.
“Apparently I’ve somehow managed to misplace the last 117 years,” he began with a sigh and only the slightest edge in his voice, “I’m not sure exactly how that could have happened. I don’t suppose you’ll tell me that time travel is now possible and you have a contraption hidden around here somewhere that can send me back home where I belong, do you?” Giles shook his head in response, eliciting a very deep sigh from William. “I kind of figured that much already, but I thought it was worth asking. All right then, let’s see. I simply don’t have dreams that are this elaborate. I don’t believe I’m hallucinating. I didn’t travel through time. What did happen to me? How am I here…now?”
Angel again jumped in concerned that one of the others (particularly Xander) might answer this question with potentially disastrous results. “You’re a vampire, Will. That’s why you’re still alive 117 years beyond what you recall and why you’re still the same age. As for why you’ve misplaced those years, you suffered a head injury a few days ago and only regained consciousness this morning. We think you’re suffering from amnesia.”
Everyone was caught off guard by Angel’s bluntness, but even more so by William’s response. He didn’t look angry or scared or even taken aback by this answer. Instead he stared hard at Angel, appraising him again, before leaning back on the sofa, rubbing his temples with one hand and chuckling softly. The laugh held no warmth or humor, however, and it creeped Dawn out. William opened his eyes again and responded to this tidbit of information. “This is probably the point where most people would laugh and ask for the punch line to the joke or simply think you lot were crazy. But I’m not most people. I’ve already determined that I have no pulse or a verifiable reflection, but I am solid matter, so I’m not a ghost. I am definitely not in England nor am I still in the 19th century. So, I guess I’ll just accept that as a logical answer for the time being. I do have some more questions for you regarding this vampire business, but those can wait till later. In the meantime, perhaps you all would be so kind as to tell me your names and how in the world you know me. And since you also have no pulse or reflection, and you keep addressing me by Will, perhaps you’d like to start.” He looked straight at Angel the entire time he was talking, but the others were all paying close attention to his response.
Giles, in particular, was most impressed by the astute observations William had made in a short time to reach the point he was at already. Apparently Angel had not been far off target at all in assessing William’s mental acuity. Most grown men that he knew – intelligent men, mind you – would have been reduced to tears or babbling in fear if confronted with what William had to deal with in the past few hours. Giles’ opinion of William decidedly went up a notch, hearing what he had to say and the calm voice with which he’d addressed them all. He had to admit that he was glad to have the formerly peroxide pest back and looked forward to helping him get reacquainted with himself. Giles thought that he had a lot more to offer still than anyone else there suspected. He also thought he needed to check out some of those prophetic scrolls a bit more closely. His wandering train of thought was quickly brought back to the present when Angel chuckled and walked over to the bar along the wall. He reached for a bottle of scotch and addressed William.
“Will, my boy. I always said you had the quickest mind of anyone I knew.” Buffy looked at him sharply at that comment. She’d certainly never heard him speak of Spike that way. “I am indeed a vampire also, and the reason I’ve been addressing you by Will rather than William is because you and I are family. I’m Angel and I’m your grandsire. As I recall, you don’t drink much, but on occasion you have been known to indulge in good scotch. Fancy a bit at the moment?”
William nodded agreeably, still watching Angel closely. Buffy couldn’t tell if he was just studying him or if he was trying to figure something out. He seemed to be searching for something and she wondered what that could be. Angel offered the others a drink. Giles took him up on the scotch. Xander asked for a beer and was directed to the kitchen. Anya got up and poured wine for herself and Buffy, a soda for Dawn and iced tea for Willow. During this time, William continued to stare at Angel and the others kept quiet, curious as to what would happen next. Angel walked over to the chair next to William and sat down after handing him a glass of scotch. William took it, drank some, and looked over the rim at Angel. Then he gave a sardonic smile and said, “Well, I have to say, mate. You certainly don’t look like any angel I ever heard tale of before. I’ll assume you meant Angel is your name and not your state of being. I don’t suppose you have a proper Christian name by which I can address you.” That earned a few more smiles around the room, including one from Angel himself, who acquiesced and said, “My given name is Liam, and you may call me that if you wish, Will.” He looked around at the others and sternly added. “Just you. No one else. The rest of you still call me Angel.” The mood was almost playful and the Scoobies and company were starting to relax. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad after all. They should have known better. This was only the calm before the storm.
William took another drink before asking his next question. “What exactly do you mean when you say you’re my grandsire?”
Angel crossed his legs and steepled his hands together in a scholarly manner. “Basically, when a vampire turns a human into another vampire, that is referred to as being sired. I sired a vampiress named Drusilla who is my childe. She sired you, so she is your sire, you are her childe, you are my grandchilde, and I am your grandsire. I’ve known you since you were turned. And by the way, Will, what day was it when you went to sleep last night? What was the date?”
“It was September 13th, 1885. So today’s date is right. Just the year that’s throwing me off a bit.”
“My god.” Angel breathed. “Will, you were turned on September 14th, 1885. Drusilla caught up with you late that very night. So apparently you remember up until the last 24 hours or so before you were turned.”
William looked a bit startled by that piece of news and pondered it for a moment. Why would I not remember that day? If I’m a vampire now, why wouldn’t I remember every bit of being a human before then? If I wasn’t turned until tonight, 117 years ago tonight, that is… why wouldn’t I remember the rest of today? I wonder if I made it to that party? God, I hope so. I hope I got to see Cecily at least one last time before they turned me into a…a…whatever it is I am. I need to get back to that and find out what this vampire business is all about as soon as I meet the rest of these people. He realized that he had been distracted by his thoughts and hadn’t spoken for a few minutes. He looked up to find the others staring at him again. Bit unnerving being stared at like that, but he guessed he couldn’t really blame them. He could sense that the rest of them were human…well something was off about that one girl, but the others definitely were…not that I have any idea how I know that, but I do…and he couldn’t blame them for being wary if he didn’t know who he was or who they were. And he did want to know who they were, so it was time to get back on track. “Right then. Sorry about that. I was a bit distracted by the timing is all.” He turned back to Angel and remarked “So, you’re basically my grandfather in the vampire sense, is that right?” Angel nodded. “All right then. I guess that explains how I know you…although I have to admit that you do look familiar. I really do think I’ve seen you somewhere before.”
Dawn was very excited by this comment and practically danced on the couch next to him. She grabbed William’s hand and tugged on it in her enthusiasm. “Maybe you’re remembering already, William.” He didn’t respond, but continued to stare at Angel, thinking hard.
Angel was also trying to remember. Had Will seen him prior to being turned by Drusilla? Would there be any other memories to jumpstart his mind? He wasn’t sure about that at all. He and his women had been in town for a few days before Drusilla turned Will. They’d actually followed him a bit after Dru had made her desires known. Angel had promised her she could turn someone to have a playmate, and she had picked William. Angel hadn’t been all that sure of the choice, which is why they’d followed him for a bit. After seeing that he was a doctor, Angel had figured he might come in very handy taking care of Dru when she got into one of her moods. So he’d given Dru the go-ahead. But he was pretty sure that Will had not been aware of their presence prior to that night. Still, you never knew. “Perhaps you ran into us at the tavern some time in the past few nights that you might recall, Will. We actually got into town a few days before Dru turned you, so it’s possible that you did see me. However, we only went out at night and I can’t think where you might have seen me other than at the tavern.”
“No.” William said, sounding very sure of himself. “I remember the past few days very clearly and I definitely haven’t seen you recently. I’d know if I had. Besides,” he added in a very offhanded manner, “I don’t drink all that often, and I do not frequent that type of establishment at all. It’s just not done in polite society if you want to remain acceptable for good company.” He frowned and looked down at his drink, wondering what type of company he kept these days or had for the past 117 years for that matter. Just yesterday that had been a big deal, and although he despised all the social games people played and had no use for it himself, he had always tried to conduct himself in an upright manner. He hadn’t wanted to do anything to embarrass his mother, so he’d tried very hard to be a proper gentleman in every way. But that was before all this…before he apparently had become a vampire. Who knew how that had affected him? How had he acted after they had “turned” him, as Angel had put it. He was so caught up in this train of thought, that he didn’t notice the surprised looks the others exchanged. The Spike they knew loved to drink and could always be counted on to show up at a bar or club looking for a good time. Who was this man that Angel kept calling Will? They shrugged at each other in response to unasked questions, and looked back in time to see William look up and fix Angel with another hard stare. “Liam, I’m going to accept what you’ve told me as truth for now, but I’ll want to talk to you some more later on about this whole vampire thing. I must say though that I know I’ve seen you somewhere before now. It’s bothering me that I can’t recall at this moment, but it’ll come to me. Until then, I think that I’d like to get to know the others now, if it’s all right with you.”
Angel nodded agreeably. This was going much more smoothly than he had thought possible. William turned to the diminutive girl beside him on the couch still holding his hand, and smiled. “Well, I already know your name, sweetheart, and I gather that you’re rather fond of me, but I’m still not sure exactly how I know you just yet. And since your name refers to first light, would you care to be the first to enlighten me?”
Dawn giggled at the silly pun on her name and clutched his hand even harder. She looked up at him with a tender expression and allowed him to bask fully in her love. “You are my best friend and the brother I never had. You’re my family and I love you.” She launched herself halfway onto his lap and threw her arms around his neck hugging him exuberantly again. He was a bit surprised by this, but returned the hug, allowing himself to feel the love flowing from this young girl that was so strong it was almost palpable. He wasn’t surprised to feel his own heart responding with a protective surge of emotion for this petite little girl he had only just met that afternoon. Or not, apparently, but there would be plenty of time to figure that out later. At the moment, she was talking again. Better pay attention to the little one, mate. She’s special. He gave her his undivided attention as she settled back down on the couch. “…and don’t you ever scare me like that again. Do you hear me? I’ve been out of my mind with worry over you these past few days…not to mention all the heart attacks you gave me while we were in that other dimension.” She grinned impishly when his head jerked back in surprise at those words. “Oh, yes. You and I have had some rather grand adventures recently and we’ve traveled across dimensions to come back home again. I’ll fill you in on all those details later on, but in the meantime we are finally home. So don’t you even think for one moment about going anywhere else, mister!” She punctuated that last statement by pounding one fist on the cushion between her and her sister and the other punching him lightly on the arm. Her tone was both laughingly light and mocking at the same time, but he saw the solemnity in her eyes and knew she was deadly serious about him not leaving. He nodded his head in acknowledgement of that and a look of understanding passed between the two of them. Dawn sat back on the couch fully once again, satisfied that she’d made her point and he’d gotten it. How ‘bout that? He gets me. Not even in his right mind. Doesn’t even remember me. And he still gets me. Why can’t anyone else get me like he does? Wonder if that has anything to do with our bond. Her train of thought was derailed by the realization that William was saying something to Buffy and that he had actually stood up to address her. She hadn’t been paying attention and tried to focus on the words.
“…again, Miss, I really do apologize if I offended you with the note I left this morning. Complete misunderstanding on my part. I had no idea that I wasn’t in the 19th century anymore, but I shouldn’t have been so quick to assume anything. I certainly meant no disrespect to you whatsoever, and I would appreciate it immensely if you would consider overlooking that affront on my part.” William looked directly at Buffy while he was speaking, but his tone of voice was both respectful and apologetic.
Buffy stared at him in shock, before finding the words to respond. She couldn’t get over how he was acting. This wasn’t the man…er, vampire…that she knew. She was still trying to get her head around the fact that he had wanted to be called Will before his and Dawn’s dimensional trip. She had no idea how to react to him as William. Realizing that he was still standing, waiting for her to acknowledge his very courteous apology, she tried to form the appropriate words, tripping over them in her haste. “Oh, don’t worry about it at all. No offense taken…well, there was, actually, but that’s okay…er…I mean I understand you didn’t mean to insult me, even if I was offended at the time. And I guess you had every right to assume what you did…not that I was acting that way or anything…but by my clothes, which I guess you’re not used to seeing…although you probably saw worse than that today in town… Oh, never mind. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I accept your apology. It’s totally okay. Please let’s not ever mention this again.” She finished with a plea, feeling how hot her cheeks were and knowing that she was blushing furiously. She peeked out the corner of her eyes and saw that the others’ expressions ranged from amused (Dawn & Giles) to curious (Angel, Willow & Anya) to downright shocked (only Xander) by her reaction to William’s apology. But when she finally mustered up enough courage to look up at him again, she was relieved that his face didn’t reflect any of those. He was waiting for her to look up again, she realized. When she did, he acknowledged her words, her acceptance and her wishes with a look and a nod of his head. Then he sat down again and waited for her to speak.
Taking a deep calming breath, Buffy decided she’d best introduce herself and get on with it. Although I still can’t believe I have to introduce myself to him. “My name is Buffy. Dawn is my younger sister.” She frowned and paused for a moment, wondering what, if anything, she should tell him about being the Vampire Slayer. No telling how he might respond to that, although he’s handled everything else we’ve thrown at him so far pretty well. Maybe I should go ahead and tell him, get it out there… Then again, there’s still a lot he has to learn about himself, and that might not be of the good. William seems to be really decent…definitely a gentleman. Finding out what he became like after he was turned is probably going to come as quite a shock to him. He might think I’m going to kill him. Don’t want that at all. No sense throwing this in the mix until we’ve established some trust here. Decision made, she glanced at the others surreptitiously before speaking again. “You and I have known each other for several years now. We didn’t get along at all when we first met. I guess you could say that we were on opposite sides of a conflict back then and didn’t really know each other. We had cause to work together a few times over the next couple of years. Then you moved here permanently about 3 years ago and we got to know each other a little bit better. We started working together pretty regularly a couple of years ago. You looked out for my little sister, and I realized that you were someone that I could trust.” She stopped again, unsure what else to say without getting into things best left unsaid for now or giving away too much. She looked at his face while she spoke, trying to read his reaction to her words. Spike was always so expressive, especially his eyes, but that was before. She hadn’t been able to read him all night. It concerned her what he might be thinking.
William had seen the looks she shot the others and their reactions, filing that information away for reference. Looking at her now, he knew that she was deliberately withholding information from him, but he had no idea what that might be or why she felt the need to do so. Judging from her behavior so far, he realized that he made her nervous for some reason. However, he also noted the sincerity in her voice in what she did say. Not sure what to make of all that, but realizing that it might not be all that important in the end, and could most likely wait either way…he decided to just put it aside for now and try to put her at ease. So, he gave her a wry smile and teasingly responded. “I see. And after we worked through ‘our differences of opinion’ as you put it…did I also decide that you were someone who could be trusted? Or do I still not like you that much? Because I’ve got to say that I think your sister here is an absolute doll, so I can’t imagine that you’re all that difficult to be around.” Dawn smiled adoringly at him for at that comment.
Damn. How does he do that? He can always manage to throw me off balance, no matter what. Here he is with freakin’ amnesia. He should be totally wigged out by now. But oh, no, he’s the one throwing me for a loop instead. How am I supposed to respond to that question given everything that happened before he left? Buffy realized that she was just staring at him again and that he was still waiting for a response. “Uh, well, I think you trust me. I mean, I can’t say for sure what your exact thoughts were on that matter since I’m not in your head or anything, but you acted like you trusted me. So, yeah, I guess you do. And I am definitely not that difficult to be around.” She had tried hard to make her tone light to match his, but she had a gnawing sensation that he could see right through everything she said. Of course, the snickers coming from the others at her last statement weren’t exactly helping her state of mind at the moment. Glaring around her, she snapped “Stop laughing. I am no more difficult to deal with than any of you.” Several hands went up to hide grins, but Dawn laughed out loud. At that sound, Buffy’s aggravation deflated somewhat. She hadn’t heard Dawn laugh once since she’d returned. This was definitely of the good, even if it was at her expense.
William decided this was a good time to move on to someone else and give her a break. He turned his bemused expression to Xander, but the smile quickly faded at the look in the brunette’s eyes. Xander’s introduction was terse and William could hear the underlying emotions in his voice – distrust, anger, bitterness – and it gave him pause to think. Why exactly would this young man feel so strongly about him?
“My name is Xander and I’ve known you for as long as Buffy and the others have. Your track record is not good with me. I don’t like you and I don’t trust you. I never have. I don’t care if you do have your soul now, I’m still going to be watching you.”
The tension that had dissipated somewhat earlier was suddenly back and in full force as the others watched Xander and William to see what would happen next. William was both amazed and confused by what Xander had said. What did he mean by that? What the heck is a track record? What did he mean by having my soul now? And why doesn’t he like me? What did I ever do to him? William frowned as these thoughts all collided in his head, and decided this was too much to try to sort out right now. He just wanted to get through these bloody introductions. Maybe these people would give him some time alone after that and he could try to make sense of it all. He could always figure out the quirks of his individual relationships with each one of them later on. He resolved to get past this as graciously as possible for now and come back to it one-on-one with Xander later on.
William looked Xander directly in the eye and said sincerely “I honestly have no bloody idea what I’ve done to make you think so little of me. Most of what you said just now rather confused me, but I do appreciate your candor. I’ll try not to give you any more cause to distrust me in the future and perhaps one day you and I can sit down and discuss things. Fair enough?”
Xander really didn’t want to discuss anything with Spike or William or whoever the hell he was now, let alone agree to anything he said, but he had to grudgingly admit that the guy had been acting really decent since he’d walked back into the mansion. ‘Course that’s just till he remembers who and what he is. Then he’ll probably be back to his old ways. Have to keep an eye on him. Can’t trust him, no matter what. Can’t let him get too close to Buffy again. Realizing that the others were still waiting on his reaction to William’s courteous response, he huffed a rather sulky affirmative and slouched down in his chair.
Realizing that was probably the best he could hope for at the moment, William nodded his head to acknowledge Xander’s reply and turned to Anya. The others let out little sighs of relief that any major confrontation had been averted for now…and by William of all people. Then they held their collective breath again waiting to see what the blunt vengeance demon would say. Anything was possible with Anya. But everyone was still taken off guard when Anya said “Welcome back, William. I’m Anya and we’ve known each other for a couple of years now. I was a vengeance demon for 1100 years, then I was a human and now I’m a vengeance demon again. So, we’ve got a few things in common and I’d be happy to talk to you about the difficulty of making those adjustments later on after you get caught up with everything if you like. But for now, I’m just glad you’re okay. Everyone’s been very worried about you recently. You’re quite a hero, you know.”
William was rather glad that Anya didn’t press their dubious sounding connection at the moment since he felt like he had way too much information to absorb already. And what exactly is a vengeance demon anyway? She seemed polite and sincere enough though and her words came out quickly and blended together so that he almost missed that last sentence totally. Then it hit him what she had said and he gawked at her in surprise. She looked blandly back at him and nodded. “Oh, yes. Really you are. You jumped through a dimensional portal to save Dawn knowing full well that some infallible prophecy said you weren’t supposed to make it back at all. And from what I know of some of the dimensions you guys passed through, you probably had your hands full fighting off attacks daily just to survive let alone pass through. And yet you managed to keep Dawn safe and teach her to take care of herself and get her back home in one piece. And somehow you made it back too, although we’re still not sure how because you really aren’t supposed to be here right now. Everyone was convinced that prophecy was right and you were a goner, but here you are. Although I bet your amnesia is related to it somehow.” Anya finally stopped to take a breath and noticed that William’s eyes were huge and he looked as if he might faint at any moment. She wondered what exactly she had said that could affect him so strongly and looked around at the others for support. She was met with several blanches and a few blank stares. “Oh, give me a break, everyone! Stop treating William like he’s stupid or a child or made of glass. He’s already figured out more than the average person would have managed in a year of Sundays. He’s a grown man and obviously intelligent. He can handle the truth, and why shouldn’t he know that?” Anya was annoyed beyond words by how the others were staring at her. Did they think she was stupid or something? William had already had a ton thrown at him today. Why lie to him and leave more for him to deal with later on? That’s only going to make it worse. Mark my words… Then again, they usually don’t listen to me or anyone else who speaks the truth, so they’ll probably screw this up, too. “We didn’t expect him to make it back. Giles said those Tantric prophecies are never wrong and the prophecy said the Warrior wouldn’t return and we know Spike was the Warrior, and he didn’t return, but William did. How else do you explain that? And another thing…no, Xander…I will not shut up…Just because you can’t handle the truth, you think no one else can either. Well, William isn’t built like you. Spike dealt in truth all the time and I’m sure that trait came from William and this is no different than anything else. So, why should I…”
Giles cut her off before she could give away anything else while everyone stared at her…Xander in disgust and the others in disbelief. Angel just shook his head in quiet resignation. He had known all along that either Xander or Anya would let too much slip. He was just surprised that it had taken this long and that it hadn’t been Xander. He would have bet good money that the boy would deliberately screw this up, given his loathing of Spike. “Anya, I totally agree with you that we should speak the truth here.” Anya smiled benevolently at Giles and sent a ferocious frown Xander’s way. “However, William has been through a great deal today and maybe we shouldn’t try to throw everything at him at once.” Xander took full advantage of his opportunity to smirk at Anya in turn. “It is quite a lot to process and perhaps he’d appreciate a chance to deal with things in stages rather than trying to wade through it all tonight.” With that, Giles stood up and walked over to William who hadn’t said anything throughout Anya’s rant and was still looking rather overwhelmed, and a bit green around the gills, truth be told. He waited until William looked up and made eye contact before speaking. “William, I’m sorry if we’ve added to your confusion here tonight. I can only imagine what you must be thinking right now. I’m sure you have plenty of questions still and we’ll be happy to answer them and help you straighten things out as best we can. For now though, why don’t we just finish our introductions and let you get some rest.” William’s look of gratitude was enough to confirm that Giles had assessed the situation correctly. “I’m Rupert Giles and I’ve know you for as long as Buffy and Xander have. We’ve certainly had our differences over the years, but I’ve come to develop a genuine respect for you… especially lately. And I will do my best to help you through this. But let me say that Anya was right when she said that you are a hero. You’ve done a lot recently that you don’t recall but for which we are all indebted to you. It’s good to have you back.” With that he stuck out his hand and waited for the stunned William to stand and grasp his in return before shaking it and sitting back down. More than a few of those present were surprised by this gesture on Giles part. Knowing the group’s history, it really was quite significant.
William was still looking a bit dazed as he sat back down and Willow decided to take pity on him. She looked at him and smiled softly. “My name is Willow, but you usually call me Red. You can call me whatever you’re comfortable with right now though. And speaking of that, what are you comfortable with us calling you? We’ve always known you as Spike, but you introduced yourself as William, but maybe you’d prefer Will like Angel’s been using or something else? That is your name after all and Spike must sound very strange to you…and I’m rambling now, so I’ll move on. I met you the same time as Xander and Buffy did. I’ve had mixed feelings where you’re concerned over the years, but you’ve really proven yourself and I’m relieved that you’re okay. I’m going to work extra hard with Giles to try and cure your amnesia. We really didn’t think you’d make it back, but I’m glad you did.”
William smiled warmly at her and seemed to relax a bit when she stopped speaking. “I actually would prefer to be addressed as William or even Will, if you don’t mind. Spike seems so crude and I really can’t imagine why I’d ever adopt that name freely. However, I’ll certainly understand if you forget and address me thusly. Thank you for asking that, by the way. Most thoughtful of you.” He looked down at his drink for a moment, realizing that he still had well over half of it left. He thought for less than a second and quickly downed the remainder of his Scotch before looking back up. His eyes sought out Giles this time and he said simply, “I would appreciate it if we didn’t go into too much more detail tonight. I am tired and I would like to get some rest, and you all have given me a great deal to ponder already. But before I excuse myself, I think I’ll have another glass of Scotch…” he turned to Angel “…if you don’t mind, Liam. No, no, don’t get up. I’ll fix it myself.” As he walked over to the headboard, he continued speaking. “But before I do retire, I would like to ask one more thing. What exactly is a vampire?” There was a shocked silence that seemed to drag on and on, so much so that Will turned back from pouring his drink to see the expressions on every face in the room. He frowned. Why were they looking at him like that? What was so strange about his question?
Coming to an understanding, Angel stood up and addressed him. “I should have remembered what it was like back then and realized this earlier, Will. I’m sorry. You’ve probably been more confused than you should have been this whole time. Please, allow me to explain. Vampires are humans who have been drained of the majority of their blood by another vampire. At the point where death is imminent, the vampire gives some of their own blood to the dying human who is then brought back from the edge as a member of the undead. The human loses their soul and is possessed by a demon in this transition. They stop aging…become immortal. Vampires are allergic to sunlight, holy water, crosses and other religious tokens, fire, and wooden objects that can pierce the heart. Other than that, pretty much only beheading or starvation will kill a vampire. We don’t get sick, have reflections or need to eat…anything other than blood, that is. We heal very quickly when we are injured and have superior strength and very quick reflexes.” Angel noticed that William was still processing all this and turned to address the others. “You’ve got to realize that you all have been educated for years now on vampire lore. When you first learned of vampires, there were written resources to aid you. But back when Will was growing up, very little was publicly known about us. There were hardly any legends or even rumors that he might have heard. We were a relatively new phenomena in that region. I totally forgot about all that. When Will first woke up after being turned, I had to thoroughly educate him on who and what we were and our ways. As a matter of fact, training him was quite a tiresome task as he never wanted to…”
As Angel nattered on, William tuned him out. He was still turning over the words that he’d just heard and was starting to feel a bit light-headed. “undead…lose your soul…possessed by a demon…no reflection” As these words started to take root in his mind, more of the conversation from earlier made sense now. There was a context to apply to some things that had thrown him earlier. It wasn’t pretty and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but now at least he was starting to see the picture…upsetting as it was turning out to be. Okay, so, he was a vampire. Apparently that Drusilla girl that Liam had mentioned earlier had drained his blood…had killed him, in effect…and had given him some of her blood in return. Disgusting. He had drunk blood that night. Why would I do that? Why wouldn’t I just give up the ghost and die? Why would I allow myself to lose my eternal soul and become possessed by a demon? Did I even know that was going to happen as a result? Why would I turn my back on my religious upbringing like that? What in the world happened to me during those 24 hours that I don’t recall before I was turned? Surely something had to have happened to push me to that point where I would have accepted this fate. And what about now? What was that comment that Harris fellow had made earlier? “I don’t care if you do have your soul now…” If I lost my soul over 117 years ago, how did I get it back? And when? Surely that can’t be a common occurrence among vampires? And why did the sun not affect me when I was out walking around today? Or the church I went into? Nothing in there bothered me at all. Shouldn’t it have? What was the meaning of all that? Maybe I should ask about that. He grimaced at that thought. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t have asked about vampires at all. This is turning out to be much more complicated than I thought it might be when I originally asked that question.
William’s brow furrowed up as he closed his eyes and rubbed his aching temples in a vain effort to relieve some of the tension that had been steadily building. His thoughts were a constantly repeating cycle, a jumble of images and words that he couldn’t seem to interrupt. The one thought he kept coming back to though was the bit about drinking blood. That’s just too revolting for words. And what was it Liam had said about eating? “we don’t need to eat…anything other than blood, that is” That means I’ve been eating blood ever since I became a vampire, doesn’t it? Not just that night I was “turned” but every night since then, too?!? This subject was starting to get just a little too gruesome for him, and he was a doctor for cripes sake! Or at least he had been. He was used to blood and guts. But drinking blood…that’s just a totally different matter. He was going to have to…wait a minute! Exactly where does a vampire get blood to drink? Not at the local market, surely. Well, there’s animals, of course. Don’t be daft! If that vampire woman drank my blood to turn me, then that’s because vampires drink from humans. That means I’ve drunk human blood… Oh, god help me. I’ve killed humans to drink their blood… I’m a killer. I think I’m going to be sick. In the background, he could hear Angel still talking to the others…saying something or other about vampire lore. No one seemed to be taking any notice of him at the moment. Maybe they wouldn’t notice if he excused himself to go throw up. And while he was at it, maybe he could kill himself...again, apparently. He didn’t know if he could live with this new knowledge of himself. How did Liam say vampires could be killed exactly? Fire, wood…then again, if those other things (sunshine & crosses and all) don’t affect me then who’s to say these will either? ‘Course I won’t know unless I try. Maybe I can just… As his thoughts ran rampant, another struck him suddenly and with great force. Although it was a relatively simple question, it chilled him to the core. How exactly does a vampire get the blood out of a human? Do we carry knives and slice people up or…
Just as this thought occurred, he happened to look up and caught a glimpse of Angel’s profile, and that was when the memory socked home…the one he had been suppressing for years…the one that he had convinced himself wasn’t real…the one that had haunted his worst nightmares for as long as he could remember. The sheer force of this memory swept over him and he was frozen in place. All he could do was stand and stare as the horror built inside of him with a greater force than he could have ever imagined possible. He could feel the scream starting and struggled to hold it in, because he really didn’t think he’d ever be able to stop if once he started. The tremors started gradually but were building rapidly now. The glass of Scotch was jostling about in his hand and he noticed as it started to fall, but it was as if he was watching from another’s perspective…almost as though he was standing beside himself viewing his own reaction. No one else could see him directly through Angel’s broad physique, so they were all surprised when the glass hit the floor shattering loudly. Everyone jumped as Angel whirled around and they were faced with William clinging to the bar edge to hold himself up, legs trembling, skin devoid of all color, eyes wide and glassy. He looked as if he might pass out at any moment and although no one was sure exactly what had affected him so deeply, it was clear to see that he was in shock. Angel was at his side immediately as the others got up and started toward them. They all saw Angel reach to steady William. William’s eyes suddenly focused on Angel’s face and his slack face took on an expression of utter horror. He jerked back from Angel’s outstretched hands and hissed under his breath. Angel stopped dead in his tracks at the look in William’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he knew that look – terror mixed with hatred. He’d seen it enough in the eyes of the victims he’d tortured before he got his soul…but he couldn’t figure out why William was looking at him like that. If William’s memory had returned, the hatred would be understandable enough and familiar even…although Angel had thought they were starting to get past that…but why the terror? William’s never been afraid of me. Even as a fledgling, he was cocky and trying and he resented the hell out of me, but he wasn’t afraid. Something else is going on here, but what?
TBC
Author's Note: In the original posting of the previous chapter William introduced himself in the final paragraph as William Barrett III. As he was already mentioned as being William Atherton III in Chapter Two of Book One, this was a mistake on my part. Thanks to Luba for catching that for me. It has been corrected now, but I wanted to mention this for anyone else who may have read the original posting and been confused.
Kindred: (noun) A group of related persons, such as a family, clan, or tribe.
(adj.) Having a similar or related origin or nature.
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BOOK TWO
THE PAST REVISITED
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Chapter Three
Introductions Are In Order
It was Angel who hurried to respond to the question. “You’re in my house in Sunnydale, California, Will…in America.”
William looked a bit nonplussed by that answer. He frowned and muttered to himself softly so the others had trouble catching all of it. “America. Why in God’s name would I ever want to come to the colonies? Well, I guess that explains a lot right there.” Again, that response elicited a smile from Angel and Giles who could both appreciate and echo those sentiments and had on several occasions. William looked up again and slowly asked the question he most dreaded hearing the answer to, but the one he suspected was most pertinent. “I see, and could you also please tell me today’s exact date, including the year?”
This time it was Dawn who spoke up, wanting to be helpful. “It’s October 18th, 2002.” Even though she had already figured out that William had amnesia and had overheard Buffy’s conversation with Angel indicating that he apparently didn’t remember becoming a vampire and still thought he was in the 1880s, Dawn wasn’t prepared for the effect her response had on William. All color, what little he had anyway, drained out of his face and he sat down slowly on the couch next to her shaking his head. He stared blankly ahead for a few minutes, during which time the others regarded him carefully, and then leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. Softly muttered epithets barely reached Dawn’s ears, but Angel caught most of them with his vampiric hearing and shook his head sympathetically. This would not be easy at all for his grandchilde, but he was handling it admirably so far, all things considered. After what seemed like an eternity to Buffy, William finally raised his head back up and addressed them all without focusing on anyone specific.
“Apparently I’ve somehow managed to misplace the last 117 years,” he began with a sigh and only the slightest edge in his voice, “I’m not sure exactly how that could have happened. I don’t suppose you’ll tell me that time travel is now possible and you have a contraption hidden around here somewhere that can send me back home where I belong, do you?” Giles shook his head in response, eliciting a very deep sigh from William. “I kind of figured that much already, but I thought it was worth asking. All right then, let’s see. I simply don’t have dreams that are this elaborate. I don’t believe I’m hallucinating. I didn’t travel through time. What did happen to me? How am I here…now?”
Angel again jumped in concerned that one of the others (particularly Xander) might answer this question with potentially disastrous results. “You’re a vampire, Will. That’s why you’re still alive 117 years beyond what you recall and why you’re still the same age. As for why you’ve misplaced those years, you suffered a head injury a few days ago and only regained consciousness this morning. We think you’re suffering from amnesia.”
Everyone was caught off guard by Angel’s bluntness, but even more so by William’s response. He didn’t look angry or scared or even taken aback by this answer. Instead he stared hard at Angel, appraising him again, before leaning back on the sofa, rubbing his temples with one hand and chuckling softly. The laugh held no warmth or humor, however, and it creeped Dawn out. William opened his eyes again and responded to this tidbit of information. “This is probably the point where most people would laugh and ask for the punch line to the joke or simply think you lot were crazy. But I’m not most people. I’ve already determined that I have no pulse or a verifiable reflection, but I am solid matter, so I’m not a ghost. I am definitely not in England nor am I still in the 19th century. So, I guess I’ll just accept that as a logical answer for the time being. I do have some more questions for you regarding this vampire business, but those can wait till later. In the meantime, perhaps you all would be so kind as to tell me your names and how in the world you know me. And since you also have no pulse or reflection, and you keep addressing me by Will, perhaps you’d like to start.” He looked straight at Angel the entire time he was talking, but the others were all paying close attention to his response.
Giles, in particular, was most impressed by the astute observations William had made in a short time to reach the point he was at already. Apparently Angel had not been far off target at all in assessing William’s mental acuity. Most grown men that he knew – intelligent men, mind you – would have been reduced to tears or babbling in fear if confronted with what William had to deal with in the past few hours. Giles’ opinion of William decidedly went up a notch, hearing what he had to say and the calm voice with which he’d addressed them all. He had to admit that he was glad to have the formerly peroxide pest back and looked forward to helping him get reacquainted with himself. Giles thought that he had a lot more to offer still than anyone else there suspected. He also thought he needed to check out some of those prophetic scrolls a bit more closely. His wandering train of thought was quickly brought back to the present when Angel chuckled and walked over to the bar along the wall. He reached for a bottle of scotch and addressed William.
“Will, my boy. I always said you had the quickest mind of anyone I knew.” Buffy looked at him sharply at that comment. She’d certainly never heard him speak of Spike that way. “I am indeed a vampire also, and the reason I’ve been addressing you by Will rather than William is because you and I are family. I’m Angel and I’m your grandsire. As I recall, you don’t drink much, but on occasion you have been known to indulge in good scotch. Fancy a bit at the moment?”
William nodded agreeably, still watching Angel closely. Buffy couldn’t tell if he was just studying him or if he was trying to figure something out. He seemed to be searching for something and she wondered what that could be. Angel offered the others a drink. Giles took him up on the scotch. Xander asked for a beer and was directed to the kitchen. Anya got up and poured wine for herself and Buffy, a soda for Dawn and iced tea for Willow. During this time, William continued to stare at Angel and the others kept quiet, curious as to what would happen next. Angel walked over to the chair next to William and sat down after handing him a glass of scotch. William took it, drank some, and looked over the rim at Angel. Then he gave a sardonic smile and said, “Well, I have to say, mate. You certainly don’t look like any angel I ever heard tale of before. I’ll assume you meant Angel is your name and not your state of being. I don’t suppose you have a proper Christian name by which I can address you.” That earned a few more smiles around the room, including one from Angel himself, who acquiesced and said, “My given name is Liam, and you may call me that if you wish, Will.” He looked around at the others and sternly added. “Just you. No one else. The rest of you still call me Angel.” The mood was almost playful and the Scoobies and company were starting to relax. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad after all. They should have known better. This was only the calm before the storm.
William took another drink before asking his next question. “What exactly do you mean when you say you’re my grandsire?”
Angel crossed his legs and steepled his hands together in a scholarly manner. “Basically, when a vampire turns a human into another vampire, that is referred to as being sired. I sired a vampiress named Drusilla who is my childe. She sired you, so she is your sire, you are her childe, you are my grandchilde, and I am your grandsire. I’ve known you since you were turned. And by the way, Will, what day was it when you went to sleep last night? What was the date?”
“It was September 13th, 1885. So today’s date is right. Just the year that’s throwing me off a bit.”
“My god.” Angel breathed. “Will, you were turned on September 14th, 1885. Drusilla caught up with you late that very night. So apparently you remember up until the last 24 hours or so before you were turned.”
William looked a bit startled by that piece of news and pondered it for a moment. Why would I not remember that day? If I’m a vampire now, why wouldn’t I remember every bit of being a human before then? If I wasn’t turned until tonight, 117 years ago tonight, that is… why wouldn’t I remember the rest of today? I wonder if I made it to that party? God, I hope so. I hope I got to see Cecily at least one last time before they turned me into a…a…whatever it is I am. I need to get back to that and find out what this vampire business is all about as soon as I meet the rest of these people. He realized that he had been distracted by his thoughts and hadn’t spoken for a few minutes. He looked up to find the others staring at him again. Bit unnerving being stared at like that, but he guessed he couldn’t really blame them. He could sense that the rest of them were human…well something was off about that one girl, but the others definitely were…not that I have any idea how I know that, but I do…and he couldn’t blame them for being wary if he didn’t know who he was or who they were. And he did want to know who they were, so it was time to get back on track. “Right then. Sorry about that. I was a bit distracted by the timing is all.” He turned back to Angel and remarked “So, you’re basically my grandfather in the vampire sense, is that right?” Angel nodded. “All right then. I guess that explains how I know you…although I have to admit that you do look familiar. I really do think I’ve seen you somewhere before.”
Dawn was very excited by this comment and practically danced on the couch next to him. She grabbed William’s hand and tugged on it in her enthusiasm. “Maybe you’re remembering already, William.” He didn’t respond, but continued to stare at Angel, thinking hard.
Angel was also trying to remember. Had Will seen him prior to being turned by Drusilla? Would there be any other memories to jumpstart his mind? He wasn’t sure about that at all. He and his women had been in town for a few days before Drusilla turned Will. They’d actually followed him a bit after Dru had made her desires known. Angel had promised her she could turn someone to have a playmate, and she had picked William. Angel hadn’t been all that sure of the choice, which is why they’d followed him for a bit. After seeing that he was a doctor, Angel had figured he might come in very handy taking care of Dru when she got into one of her moods. So he’d given Dru the go-ahead. But he was pretty sure that Will had not been aware of their presence prior to that night. Still, you never knew. “Perhaps you ran into us at the tavern some time in the past few nights that you might recall, Will. We actually got into town a few days before Dru turned you, so it’s possible that you did see me. However, we only went out at night and I can’t think where you might have seen me other than at the tavern.”
“No.” William said, sounding very sure of himself. “I remember the past few days very clearly and I definitely haven’t seen you recently. I’d know if I had. Besides,” he added in a very offhanded manner, “I don’t drink all that often, and I do not frequent that type of establishment at all. It’s just not done in polite society if you want to remain acceptable for good company.” He frowned and looked down at his drink, wondering what type of company he kept these days or had for the past 117 years for that matter. Just yesterday that had been a big deal, and although he despised all the social games people played and had no use for it himself, he had always tried to conduct himself in an upright manner. He hadn’t wanted to do anything to embarrass his mother, so he’d tried very hard to be a proper gentleman in every way. But that was before all this…before he apparently had become a vampire. Who knew how that had affected him? How had he acted after they had “turned” him, as Angel had put it. He was so caught up in this train of thought, that he didn’t notice the surprised looks the others exchanged. The Spike they knew loved to drink and could always be counted on to show up at a bar or club looking for a good time. Who was this man that Angel kept calling Will? They shrugged at each other in response to unasked questions, and looked back in time to see William look up and fix Angel with another hard stare. “Liam, I’m going to accept what you’ve told me as truth for now, but I’ll want to talk to you some more later on about this whole vampire thing. I must say though that I know I’ve seen you somewhere before now. It’s bothering me that I can’t recall at this moment, but it’ll come to me. Until then, I think that I’d like to get to know the others now, if it’s all right with you.”
Angel nodded agreeably. This was going much more smoothly than he had thought possible. William turned to the diminutive girl beside him on the couch still holding his hand, and smiled. “Well, I already know your name, sweetheart, and I gather that you’re rather fond of me, but I’m still not sure exactly how I know you just yet. And since your name refers to first light, would you care to be the first to enlighten me?”
Dawn giggled at the silly pun on her name and clutched his hand even harder. She looked up at him with a tender expression and allowed him to bask fully in her love. “You are my best friend and the brother I never had. You’re my family and I love you.” She launched herself halfway onto his lap and threw her arms around his neck hugging him exuberantly again. He was a bit surprised by this, but returned the hug, allowing himself to feel the love flowing from this young girl that was so strong it was almost palpable. He wasn’t surprised to feel his own heart responding with a protective surge of emotion for this petite little girl he had only just met that afternoon. Or not, apparently, but there would be plenty of time to figure that out later. At the moment, she was talking again. Better pay attention to the little one, mate. She’s special. He gave her his undivided attention as she settled back down on the couch. “…and don’t you ever scare me like that again. Do you hear me? I’ve been out of my mind with worry over you these past few days…not to mention all the heart attacks you gave me while we were in that other dimension.” She grinned impishly when his head jerked back in surprise at those words. “Oh, yes. You and I have had some rather grand adventures recently and we’ve traveled across dimensions to come back home again. I’ll fill you in on all those details later on, but in the meantime we are finally home. So don’t you even think for one moment about going anywhere else, mister!” She punctuated that last statement by pounding one fist on the cushion between her and her sister and the other punching him lightly on the arm. Her tone was both laughingly light and mocking at the same time, but he saw the solemnity in her eyes and knew she was deadly serious about him not leaving. He nodded his head in acknowledgement of that and a look of understanding passed between the two of them. Dawn sat back on the couch fully once again, satisfied that she’d made her point and he’d gotten it. How ‘bout that? He gets me. Not even in his right mind. Doesn’t even remember me. And he still gets me. Why can’t anyone else get me like he does? Wonder if that has anything to do with our bond. Her train of thought was derailed by the realization that William was saying something to Buffy and that he had actually stood up to address her. She hadn’t been paying attention and tried to focus on the words.
“…again, Miss, I really do apologize if I offended you with the note I left this morning. Complete misunderstanding on my part. I had no idea that I wasn’t in the 19th century anymore, but I shouldn’t have been so quick to assume anything. I certainly meant no disrespect to you whatsoever, and I would appreciate it immensely if you would consider overlooking that affront on my part.” William looked directly at Buffy while he was speaking, but his tone of voice was both respectful and apologetic.
Buffy stared at him in shock, before finding the words to respond. She couldn’t get over how he was acting. This wasn’t the man…er, vampire…that she knew. She was still trying to get her head around the fact that he had wanted to be called Will before his and Dawn’s dimensional trip. She had no idea how to react to him as William. Realizing that he was still standing, waiting for her to acknowledge his very courteous apology, she tried to form the appropriate words, tripping over them in her haste. “Oh, don’t worry about it at all. No offense taken…well, there was, actually, but that’s okay…er…I mean I understand you didn’t mean to insult me, even if I was offended at the time. And I guess you had every right to assume what you did…not that I was acting that way or anything…but by my clothes, which I guess you’re not used to seeing…although you probably saw worse than that today in town… Oh, never mind. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I accept your apology. It’s totally okay. Please let’s not ever mention this again.” She finished with a plea, feeling how hot her cheeks were and knowing that she was blushing furiously. She peeked out the corner of her eyes and saw that the others’ expressions ranged from amused (Dawn & Giles) to curious (Angel, Willow & Anya) to downright shocked (only Xander) by her reaction to William’s apology. But when she finally mustered up enough courage to look up at him again, she was relieved that his face didn’t reflect any of those. He was waiting for her to look up again, she realized. When she did, he acknowledged her words, her acceptance and her wishes with a look and a nod of his head. Then he sat down again and waited for her to speak.
Taking a deep calming breath, Buffy decided she’d best introduce herself and get on with it. Although I still can’t believe I have to introduce myself to him. “My name is Buffy. Dawn is my younger sister.” She frowned and paused for a moment, wondering what, if anything, she should tell him about being the Vampire Slayer. No telling how he might respond to that, although he’s handled everything else we’ve thrown at him so far pretty well. Maybe I should go ahead and tell him, get it out there… Then again, there’s still a lot he has to learn about himself, and that might not be of the good. William seems to be really decent…definitely a gentleman. Finding out what he became like after he was turned is probably going to come as quite a shock to him. He might think I’m going to kill him. Don’t want that at all. No sense throwing this in the mix until we’ve established some trust here. Decision made, she glanced at the others surreptitiously before speaking again. “You and I have known each other for several years now. We didn’t get along at all when we first met. I guess you could say that we were on opposite sides of a conflict back then and didn’t really know each other. We had cause to work together a few times over the next couple of years. Then you moved here permanently about 3 years ago and we got to know each other a little bit better. We started working together pretty regularly a couple of years ago. You looked out for my little sister, and I realized that you were someone that I could trust.” She stopped again, unsure what else to say without getting into things best left unsaid for now or giving away too much. She looked at his face while she spoke, trying to read his reaction to her words. Spike was always so expressive, especially his eyes, but that was before. She hadn’t been able to read him all night. It concerned her what he might be thinking.
William had seen the looks she shot the others and their reactions, filing that information away for reference. Looking at her now, he knew that she was deliberately withholding information from him, but he had no idea what that might be or why she felt the need to do so. Judging from her behavior so far, he realized that he made her nervous for some reason. However, he also noted the sincerity in her voice in what she did say. Not sure what to make of all that, but realizing that it might not be all that important in the end, and could most likely wait either way…he decided to just put it aside for now and try to put her at ease. So, he gave her a wry smile and teasingly responded. “I see. And after we worked through ‘our differences of opinion’ as you put it…did I also decide that you were someone who could be trusted? Or do I still not like you that much? Because I’ve got to say that I think your sister here is an absolute doll, so I can’t imagine that you’re all that difficult to be around.” Dawn smiled adoringly at him for at that comment.
Damn. How does he do that? He can always manage to throw me off balance, no matter what. Here he is with freakin’ amnesia. He should be totally wigged out by now. But oh, no, he’s the one throwing me for a loop instead. How am I supposed to respond to that question given everything that happened before he left? Buffy realized that she was just staring at him again and that he was still waiting for a response. “Uh, well, I think you trust me. I mean, I can’t say for sure what your exact thoughts were on that matter since I’m not in your head or anything, but you acted like you trusted me. So, yeah, I guess you do. And I am definitely not that difficult to be around.” She had tried hard to make her tone light to match his, but she had a gnawing sensation that he could see right through everything she said. Of course, the snickers coming from the others at her last statement weren’t exactly helping her state of mind at the moment. Glaring around her, she snapped “Stop laughing. I am no more difficult to deal with than any of you.” Several hands went up to hide grins, but Dawn laughed out loud. At that sound, Buffy’s aggravation deflated somewhat. She hadn’t heard Dawn laugh once since she’d returned. This was definitely of the good, even if it was at her expense.
William decided this was a good time to move on to someone else and give her a break. He turned his bemused expression to Xander, but the smile quickly faded at the look in the brunette’s eyes. Xander’s introduction was terse and William could hear the underlying emotions in his voice – distrust, anger, bitterness – and it gave him pause to think. Why exactly would this young man feel so strongly about him?
“My name is Xander and I’ve known you for as long as Buffy and the others have. Your track record is not good with me. I don’t like you and I don’t trust you. I never have. I don’t care if you do have your soul now, I’m still going to be watching you.”
The tension that had dissipated somewhat earlier was suddenly back and in full force as the others watched Xander and William to see what would happen next. William was both amazed and confused by what Xander had said. What did he mean by that? What the heck is a track record? What did he mean by having my soul now? And why doesn’t he like me? What did I ever do to him? William frowned as these thoughts all collided in his head, and decided this was too much to try to sort out right now. He just wanted to get through these bloody introductions. Maybe these people would give him some time alone after that and he could try to make sense of it all. He could always figure out the quirks of his individual relationships with each one of them later on. He resolved to get past this as graciously as possible for now and come back to it one-on-one with Xander later on.
William looked Xander directly in the eye and said sincerely “I honestly have no bloody idea what I’ve done to make you think so little of me. Most of what you said just now rather confused me, but I do appreciate your candor. I’ll try not to give you any more cause to distrust me in the future and perhaps one day you and I can sit down and discuss things. Fair enough?”
Xander really didn’t want to discuss anything with Spike or William or whoever the hell he was now, let alone agree to anything he said, but he had to grudgingly admit that the guy had been acting really decent since he’d walked back into the mansion. ‘Course that’s just till he remembers who and what he is. Then he’ll probably be back to his old ways. Have to keep an eye on him. Can’t trust him, no matter what. Can’t let him get too close to Buffy again. Realizing that the others were still waiting on his reaction to William’s courteous response, he huffed a rather sulky affirmative and slouched down in his chair.
Realizing that was probably the best he could hope for at the moment, William nodded his head to acknowledge Xander’s reply and turned to Anya. The others let out little sighs of relief that any major confrontation had been averted for now…and by William of all people. Then they held their collective breath again waiting to see what the blunt vengeance demon would say. Anything was possible with Anya. But everyone was still taken off guard when Anya said “Welcome back, William. I’m Anya and we’ve known each other for a couple of years now. I was a vengeance demon for 1100 years, then I was a human and now I’m a vengeance demon again. So, we’ve got a few things in common and I’d be happy to talk to you about the difficulty of making those adjustments later on after you get caught up with everything if you like. But for now, I’m just glad you’re okay. Everyone’s been very worried about you recently. You’re quite a hero, you know.”
William was rather glad that Anya didn’t press their dubious sounding connection at the moment since he felt like he had way too much information to absorb already. And what exactly is a vengeance demon anyway? She seemed polite and sincere enough though and her words came out quickly and blended together so that he almost missed that last sentence totally. Then it hit him what she had said and he gawked at her in surprise. She looked blandly back at him and nodded. “Oh, yes. Really you are. You jumped through a dimensional portal to save Dawn knowing full well that some infallible prophecy said you weren’t supposed to make it back at all. And from what I know of some of the dimensions you guys passed through, you probably had your hands full fighting off attacks daily just to survive let alone pass through. And yet you managed to keep Dawn safe and teach her to take care of herself and get her back home in one piece. And somehow you made it back too, although we’re still not sure how because you really aren’t supposed to be here right now. Everyone was convinced that prophecy was right and you were a goner, but here you are. Although I bet your amnesia is related to it somehow.” Anya finally stopped to take a breath and noticed that William’s eyes were huge and he looked as if he might faint at any moment. She wondered what exactly she had said that could affect him so strongly and looked around at the others for support. She was met with several blanches and a few blank stares. “Oh, give me a break, everyone! Stop treating William like he’s stupid or a child or made of glass. He’s already figured out more than the average person would have managed in a year of Sundays. He’s a grown man and obviously intelligent. He can handle the truth, and why shouldn’t he know that?” Anya was annoyed beyond words by how the others were staring at her. Did they think she was stupid or something? William had already had a ton thrown at him today. Why lie to him and leave more for him to deal with later on? That’s only going to make it worse. Mark my words… Then again, they usually don’t listen to me or anyone else who speaks the truth, so they’ll probably screw this up, too. “We didn’t expect him to make it back. Giles said those Tantric prophecies are never wrong and the prophecy said the Warrior wouldn’t return and we know Spike was the Warrior, and he didn’t return, but William did. How else do you explain that? And another thing…no, Xander…I will not shut up…Just because you can’t handle the truth, you think no one else can either. Well, William isn’t built like you. Spike dealt in truth all the time and I’m sure that trait came from William and this is no different than anything else. So, why should I…”
Giles cut her off before she could give away anything else while everyone stared at her…Xander in disgust and the others in disbelief. Angel just shook his head in quiet resignation. He had known all along that either Xander or Anya would let too much slip. He was just surprised that it had taken this long and that it hadn’t been Xander. He would have bet good money that the boy would deliberately screw this up, given his loathing of Spike. “Anya, I totally agree with you that we should speak the truth here.” Anya smiled benevolently at Giles and sent a ferocious frown Xander’s way. “However, William has been through a great deal today and maybe we shouldn’t try to throw everything at him at once.” Xander took full advantage of his opportunity to smirk at Anya in turn. “It is quite a lot to process and perhaps he’d appreciate a chance to deal with things in stages rather than trying to wade through it all tonight.” With that, Giles stood up and walked over to William who hadn’t said anything throughout Anya’s rant and was still looking rather overwhelmed, and a bit green around the gills, truth be told. He waited until William looked up and made eye contact before speaking. “William, I’m sorry if we’ve added to your confusion here tonight. I can only imagine what you must be thinking right now. I’m sure you have plenty of questions still and we’ll be happy to answer them and help you straighten things out as best we can. For now though, why don’t we just finish our introductions and let you get some rest.” William’s look of gratitude was enough to confirm that Giles had assessed the situation correctly. “I’m Rupert Giles and I’ve know you for as long as Buffy and Xander have. We’ve certainly had our differences over the years, but I’ve come to develop a genuine respect for you… especially lately. And I will do my best to help you through this. But let me say that Anya was right when she said that you are a hero. You’ve done a lot recently that you don’t recall but for which we are all indebted to you. It’s good to have you back.” With that he stuck out his hand and waited for the stunned William to stand and grasp his in return before shaking it and sitting back down. More than a few of those present were surprised by this gesture on Giles part. Knowing the group’s history, it really was quite significant.
William was still looking a bit dazed as he sat back down and Willow decided to take pity on him. She looked at him and smiled softly. “My name is Willow, but you usually call me Red. You can call me whatever you’re comfortable with right now though. And speaking of that, what are you comfortable with us calling you? We’ve always known you as Spike, but you introduced yourself as William, but maybe you’d prefer Will like Angel’s been using or something else? That is your name after all and Spike must sound very strange to you…and I’m rambling now, so I’ll move on. I met you the same time as Xander and Buffy did. I’ve had mixed feelings where you’re concerned over the years, but you’ve really proven yourself and I’m relieved that you’re okay. I’m going to work extra hard with Giles to try and cure your amnesia. We really didn’t think you’d make it back, but I’m glad you did.”
William smiled warmly at her and seemed to relax a bit when she stopped speaking. “I actually would prefer to be addressed as William or even Will, if you don’t mind. Spike seems so crude and I really can’t imagine why I’d ever adopt that name freely. However, I’ll certainly understand if you forget and address me thusly. Thank you for asking that, by the way. Most thoughtful of you.” He looked down at his drink for a moment, realizing that he still had well over half of it left. He thought for less than a second and quickly downed the remainder of his Scotch before looking back up. His eyes sought out Giles this time and he said simply, “I would appreciate it if we didn’t go into too much more detail tonight. I am tired and I would like to get some rest, and you all have given me a great deal to ponder already. But before I excuse myself, I think I’ll have another glass of Scotch…” he turned to Angel “…if you don’t mind, Liam. No, no, don’t get up. I’ll fix it myself.” As he walked over to the headboard, he continued speaking. “But before I do retire, I would like to ask one more thing. What exactly is a vampire?” There was a shocked silence that seemed to drag on and on, so much so that Will turned back from pouring his drink to see the expressions on every face in the room. He frowned. Why were they looking at him like that? What was so strange about his question?
Coming to an understanding, Angel stood up and addressed him. “I should have remembered what it was like back then and realized this earlier, Will. I’m sorry. You’ve probably been more confused than you should have been this whole time. Please, allow me to explain. Vampires are humans who have been drained of the majority of their blood by another vampire. At the point where death is imminent, the vampire gives some of their own blood to the dying human who is then brought back from the edge as a member of the undead. The human loses their soul and is possessed by a demon in this transition. They stop aging…become immortal. Vampires are allergic to sunlight, holy water, crosses and other religious tokens, fire, and wooden objects that can pierce the heart. Other than that, pretty much only beheading or starvation will kill a vampire. We don’t get sick, have reflections or need to eat…anything other than blood, that is. We heal very quickly when we are injured and have superior strength and very quick reflexes.” Angel noticed that William was still processing all this and turned to address the others. “You’ve got to realize that you all have been educated for years now on vampire lore. When you first learned of vampires, there were written resources to aid you. But back when Will was growing up, very little was publicly known about us. There were hardly any legends or even rumors that he might have heard. We were a relatively new phenomena in that region. I totally forgot about all that. When Will first woke up after being turned, I had to thoroughly educate him on who and what we were and our ways. As a matter of fact, training him was quite a tiresome task as he never wanted to…”
As Angel nattered on, William tuned him out. He was still turning over the words that he’d just heard and was starting to feel a bit light-headed. “undead…lose your soul…possessed by a demon…no reflection” As these words started to take root in his mind, more of the conversation from earlier made sense now. There was a context to apply to some things that had thrown him earlier. It wasn’t pretty and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but now at least he was starting to see the picture…upsetting as it was turning out to be. Okay, so, he was a vampire. Apparently that Drusilla girl that Liam had mentioned earlier had drained his blood…had killed him, in effect…and had given him some of her blood in return. Disgusting. He had drunk blood that night. Why would I do that? Why wouldn’t I just give up the ghost and die? Why would I allow myself to lose my eternal soul and become possessed by a demon? Did I even know that was going to happen as a result? Why would I turn my back on my religious upbringing like that? What in the world happened to me during those 24 hours that I don’t recall before I was turned? Surely something had to have happened to push me to that point where I would have accepted this fate. And what about now? What was that comment that Harris fellow had made earlier? “I don’t care if you do have your soul now…” If I lost my soul over 117 years ago, how did I get it back? And when? Surely that can’t be a common occurrence among vampires? And why did the sun not affect me when I was out walking around today? Or the church I went into? Nothing in there bothered me at all. Shouldn’t it have? What was the meaning of all that? Maybe I should ask about that. He grimaced at that thought. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t have asked about vampires at all. This is turning out to be much more complicated than I thought it might be when I originally asked that question.
William’s brow furrowed up as he closed his eyes and rubbed his aching temples in a vain effort to relieve some of the tension that had been steadily building. His thoughts were a constantly repeating cycle, a jumble of images and words that he couldn’t seem to interrupt. The one thought he kept coming back to though was the bit about drinking blood. That’s just too revolting for words. And what was it Liam had said about eating? “we don’t need to eat…anything other than blood, that is” That means I’ve been eating blood ever since I became a vampire, doesn’t it? Not just that night I was “turned” but every night since then, too?!? This subject was starting to get just a little too gruesome for him, and he was a doctor for cripes sake! Or at least he had been. He was used to blood and guts. But drinking blood…that’s just a totally different matter. He was going to have to…wait a minute! Exactly where does a vampire get blood to drink? Not at the local market, surely. Well, there’s animals, of course. Don’t be daft! If that vampire woman drank my blood to turn me, then that’s because vampires drink from humans. That means I’ve drunk human blood… Oh, god help me. I’ve killed humans to drink their blood… I’m a killer. I think I’m going to be sick. In the background, he could hear Angel still talking to the others…saying something or other about vampire lore. No one seemed to be taking any notice of him at the moment. Maybe they wouldn’t notice if he excused himself to go throw up. And while he was at it, maybe he could kill himself...again, apparently. He didn’t know if he could live with this new knowledge of himself. How did Liam say vampires could be killed exactly? Fire, wood…then again, if those other things (sunshine & crosses and all) don’t affect me then who’s to say these will either? ‘Course I won’t know unless I try. Maybe I can just… As his thoughts ran rampant, another struck him suddenly and with great force. Although it was a relatively simple question, it chilled him to the core. How exactly does a vampire get the blood out of a human? Do we carry knives and slice people up or…
Just as this thought occurred, he happened to look up and caught a glimpse of Angel’s profile, and that was when the memory socked home…the one he had been suppressing for years…the one that he had convinced himself wasn’t real…the one that had haunted his worst nightmares for as long as he could remember. The sheer force of this memory swept over him and he was frozen in place. All he could do was stand and stare as the horror built inside of him with a greater force than he could have ever imagined possible. He could feel the scream starting and struggled to hold it in, because he really didn’t think he’d ever be able to stop if once he started. The tremors started gradually but were building rapidly now. The glass of Scotch was jostling about in his hand and he noticed as it started to fall, but it was as if he was watching from another’s perspective…almost as though he was standing beside himself viewing his own reaction. No one else could see him directly through Angel’s broad physique, so they were all surprised when the glass hit the floor shattering loudly. Everyone jumped as Angel whirled around and they were faced with William clinging to the bar edge to hold himself up, legs trembling, skin devoid of all color, eyes wide and glassy. He looked as if he might pass out at any moment and although no one was sure exactly what had affected him so deeply, it was clear to see that he was in shock. Angel was at his side immediately as the others got up and started toward them. They all saw Angel reach to steady William. William’s eyes suddenly focused on Angel’s face and his slack face took on an expression of utter horror. He jerked back from Angel’s outstretched hands and hissed under his breath. Angel stopped dead in his tracks at the look in William’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he knew that look – terror mixed with hatred. He’d seen it enough in the eyes of the victims he’d tortured before he got his soul…but he couldn’t figure out why William was looking at him like that. If William’s memory had returned, the hatred would be understandable enough and familiar even…although Angel had thought they were starting to get past that…but why the terror? William’s never been afraid of me. Even as a fledgling, he was cocky and trying and he resented the hell out of me, but he wasn’t afraid. Something else is going on here, but what?
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