Be warned there is a wee bit of ickyness at the end of the chappie!

Spike woke first.

It was the warmth of the slender body curled up against his that roused him from the deepest sleep he’d had in decades. His arms unconsciously tightened around the lithe form of the slayer snuggled against him. Turning his head a little, he tucked his nose against the crown of her head and inhaled. He couldn’t help himself; he just had to scent her. The content vampire could tell she was deep asleep, which surprised him. Her heartbeat was slow and even, as was her breathing. Shifting slightly, Spike cradled her in his arms and marvelled at how much he preferred the sensation of her slight form against his in comparison to the overblown form of his unlamented ex, who was hopefully bursting into flame in front of a TV camera in Los Angeles.

She feels so incredibly fragile for one so strong. Spike twisted slightly so that her head tucked under his chin and he wrapped his arms around her. Deep in thought, he failed to notice the faint glimmer of hazel as Buffy peeked at him through her lashes.

She’d woken as he moved her around and snuggled against her. Unwilling to break the peaceful moment, Buffy had measured her breath and heartbeat, just like Giles had trained her to do. In all honestly, she played possum from the moment she had woken, just until she could work out what Spike was doing. There was surprisingly no feeling of embarrassment at being caught holding him and it seemed the same appiled from his end. And oh my, what a nice firm end it was. She let her hand fall gently over one firm buttock and resisted the urge to squeeze its perky fullness.

The two of them were entwined, curled up around each other on a bed of soft fur with the dying embers of the campfire as their only illumination. The peaceful moment was disrupted by Buffy’s stomach letting out a massive gurgle that made her cringe and blush.

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” She scrambled out of Spike’s arms red-faced. In her hurry to escape she jerked her head upwards and knocked him in the nose, adding to her mortification. Spike managed not to howl in pain and clutched his much abused nose, his eyes watering. As he blinked the tears of pain away, he chortled.

“You got my nose without even aiming for it this time.” He teased and sat up on his elbows and levelled his sexiest look at her. The one Harmony called Killer Come-hither Look Number One. His head tilted down slightly as his jaw dropped, allowing for his tongue to run along the back of his teeth as he slanted a sloe-eyed look at her.

Buffy flushed even redder and before her hands shot up to her mouth to check for drool. “So sorry,” she squeaked and ran out of the cave.

“Well—obviously the sex appeal is on the fritz if you’re making the birds run screaming from you, Spike old man.” He rubbed his nose, then rose stiffly to bank the fire and get some brekkie going for the two of them.

Buffy slithered to a halt in a small copse of trees and pressed her shaking hands to her burning red cheeks. “God, hormones much?” she chastised herself and began to pace back and forth muttering under her breath, her foot kicking a pine cone as she did. “Just get yourself together, Buffy. It’s only Spike. So what if he’s all nummy and cuddly in the morning…ack, morning breath.” She huffed into her cupped hands to check, then grimaced. “Oh great, now he probably hasn’t got any eyebrows left cos of the stinky breath. Way to add to the humiliation factor, Buffy.”

She carried on muttering under her breath and trying to brace herself for a return to the cave. It wasn’t going to be easy when all she wanted to do was kiss the heck out of him.

“Bad Buffy, remember why you’re here— to save Dawnie, not to mack on the hottie vampire who has decided to help and is all cute and snugly in the morning and has been saving your life all over the place.”

~~~~~~~~~


“What did you do?” Maleficent stormed into the chamber where Ole still hung slumped mid air over the now cloudy crystal ball. Her barely suppressed screams of anger caused Dawn to shift in her sleep and whimper. She pushed the small figure away from the orb, sending him flying through the air to crash against the bars of his cage. His head struck the corner and blood began to pour from the wound.

She had returned from spying on the fools who were trying to stand up to her and fallen into a deep restful sleep. Gathering her strength for the celebrations she had planned on the death of the two menaces who dared to stand up to her. She had woken with a scream of pain on her lips as the Snow Queen had died. Another small section of her crippled with the passing of the implacable witch.

Waving her hands over the cloudy orb, she muttered a summoning spell under her breath. The images of devastation that greeted her eyes filled her with deep rage. The carcasses of the slaughtered polar bears were covered with vermin and vultures all picking at the dead flesh. The supine form of the Snow Queen lay over them, her neck at an unnatural angle with blood seeping from her ears, nose and eyes.

“No.” Maleficent’s hand shot to her throat in shock. “How did they achieve this?” She turned to face the slumped unconscious form of her prisoner to interrogate him. “Dammit, this will not do.” She picked him off the ground and threw Ole back into his cage and slammed the door.

Storming back to her crystal ball, she summoned another mystical being and sent him on his way to intercept the annoying pair who invaded her realm. Stalking back over to the teen, she sank down on the chaise lonuge and ran her hand smoothly over Dawn’s still features, whispering, “so frail and yet so priceless to me. I will not let them take you away from my power, not now that I am beautiful and free of that insipid place.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy tucked her head down and scurried back into the cave. She felt a bit stronger after giving herself and the startled squirrel she’d disturbed in the copse a good talking to. She was going to focus on getting to Dawn and not on Spike’s abs, mouth or gorgeous blue eyes. Her shoulders slumped. So much for her good intentions—they lasted all of two minutes. She groaned and kicked at the dirt, resolutely ignoring the aforementioned eyes that were staring at her with an innocence that should not exist in a seasoned master vampire’s fathomless orbs.

“Here.” Spike handed her a power bar and ducked his head bashfully. “Figured you could eat as we walked.” He opened his mouth to add more then closed it and ran his fingers through his already tousled hair. “I packed up as well,” he added unnecessarily.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched the slayer stare dumbly at the snack bar he had given her. Buffy frowned at it, ‘I really don’t want this in my mouth…’

“You okay, Slayer?”

Buffy dropped the bar and hurled herself at Spike. As she did, he swore he heard her say Carpe Diem before her soft sweet plush lips captured his.

As kisses went it was pretty amazing. He opened his lips slightly and allowed her tongue to ravage his mouth. He could feel the tip toying with his hidden fangs, causing his back to arch and his cock to harden against his jeans. Finally he let his hands settle on her, one cradling the back of her head and the other cupping her delectable arse.

“God, love,” he muttered against her lips before he caught them in a soft sweet kiss. The kind that curled your toes and made your heart beat hard and fast. His fingers tangled in her long golden tresses as he angled his head slightly and pressed butterfly soft kisses across her plump cheeks and along her jaw line. He could hear her soft voice whispering sweet nothings at him. His heart lurched in his chest; it was everything he had dreamed of and then some. He realised as he stole another kiss that everything in his life and unlife had been leading up to this point. He gave a silent nod of wry acknowledgement to his sire, she had known before he had. She had accepted it before he had even entertained the idea of a slayer in his arms for any reason other than being drained.

Buffy pulled back for a breath and blinked away the lusties. “Whoa,” she whispered huskily against his lips. “I, just…wow.”

Spike gave her a boyish smile and pulled her closer, his hands roaming over her slender back and curving around her hips as he anchored her to him. His lips dipped down and trailed along her jaw line then down her throat. He was expecting a good arse kicking as her slayer instincts would inevitably kick in. No self respecting slayer would allow a master vampire of his reputation near her throat, but as usual, Buffy surprised him. She tilted her head back and offered the smooth golden skin of her tender throat up to his ministrations. And so he indulged himself, in some nuzzling, gentle nipping and most of all raining the vulnerable and delicate skin with kisses.

“Yum, I could do this all day…” Buffy giggled at Spike.

“Buffy? Hello, is this thing working? Buffy? Can you hear me?”

“Pet, your breasts are talking to you.” Spike smirked up at her, then he ducked his head and with his teeth pulled the chain out from under her clothes. The small mirror dropped between them. “I say, Buffy, is that Spike? Why is he standing so close?” Giles’s tinny voice finally pulled them fully apart. “Are you alright? What’s been happening there?”

Buffy licked her lips, hoping they weren’t too passion swollen before she scooped up the small mirror; cupping it in her hand, she smiled at her watcher. “Hey Giles. Ohhh, Spike and I killed polar bears and this witch with the lightening bolts of ow….and Spike saved me from being eaten by a wolf. What’s up your end?”

“Well, err, nothing as exciting as that…umm, are you okay? Not injured or anything?” Giles’s eyes were filled with worry and love for his charge.

Spike shifted slightly at her side, wondering if she was going to say anything.

“We’re fine, Spike saved me, Giles. Did you hear me?”

“Well, yes. That is very commendable of him. Spike, can you hear me?”

“Yeah.” His deep voice rumbled against her cheek as the blond vampire pressed closer so as to be able to see into the tiny mirror.

“Th…thank you.” Giles managed to squeeze out the words with only a small amount of hesitancy. He knew he was prevaricating when Anya jabbed him hard in the ribs and hissed at him to tell Buffy everything. “Right, can you both hear me?”

The two blondes nodded. Buffy felt a choking fear fill her at the sombre expression on her watcher’s face. “Giles, what’s happened?”

“Well, we’ve discovered a bit more information that may help. I’ll, ouch, Anya please do stop prodding me.” He gave the girl an exasperated look. “I will need to be able to breathe and if you break my ribs with your fingers, I doubt that will help.”

“Tell her about…oh, give me the chalice.” Anya and Giles’s heads bumped in and out of sight for several seconds as they scuffled for control. “Finally, honestly Buffy, he does dither a lot. You need to know several things—” She paused for a moment and slapped at Giles’s hands as they came into frame. “Go away and polish your glasses for a while.”

“Anya, what is it!” Buffy yelled. She was getting a vibe and it wasn’t a good one. The only time Giles did the avoidy thing was when he had really bad news.

“Sorry. Okay, firstly, Willow was wrong, those are not Dawn’s dreams that you are in.”

“Well that makes sense, cos somehow sisterly fights aside I don’t think she wants me dead.” Buffy nodded sagely. Part of her sighed in relief cos there was no way she wanted Dawn witnessing Spike and her macking on each other. Buffy also wondered if Dawn getting kidnapped was going to become a regular thing.

“Well, depends on the family. Have you read anything about the Borgias? Now there was a family who hated each other. The times I spent in their court, I feared for my own life and I was an invulnerable demon…”

“Demon girl, get on with it.” Spike’s voice was filled with impatience.

“God, now I’m doing it. Sorry. Okay, so Giles found some references to this Maleficent person. She is an evil fairy, yes, but what she also does is control a dimension of dreams. It’s where she dwells. She gathers her powers from fear, so somehow she managed to get free into our dimension, enslave poor Ole and use hormonal teens nightmares and fears as batteries. We can’t figure out why she is so fascinated with Dawn—maybe something to do with being your sister?” Anya shrugged and took a breath.

“So this is a dream dimension filled with fairytales?” Buffy frowned.

“Well now, Buffy, silly slayer…most fairytales are based on real people and actual occurrences so. Maleficent has somehow gathered them all in one place and is getting them to work for her, maybe with offers of power or something?”

“Right, so is that why it’s hunting season with me and the Slayer as the targets?” Spike interjected.

“We think she is trying to stop you getting to the manifestation of Dawn’s consciousness that she has hidden away for safety in that realm. If you do then she is probably screwed,” Anya explained bluntly. She narrowed her eyes. “Buffy, what’s wrong with your mouth? It’s all red and swollen.”

“So, what was the news the watcher didn’t want us to know?” Spike quickly spoke, wanting to give the slayer a reprieve from the cross examination. He wasn’t sure if she was going to be happy talking about him snogging the face off of her.

“I kissed Spike,” Buffy replied firmly. “Now what is it you wanted to tell me?” Her heart was pounding waiting for one of them to freak out, but she figured better say something now and get it over with. Hopefully by the time they got back most of them might have got used to the idea. ‘Yeah in your dreams’ Buffy mentally smacked herself for her naivety and then gritted her teeth for the inevitable. But it didn’t come.

“Ohhh, is he good? He looks like he is. Just look at that tongue of his—ow! Giles, stop it!” Anya’s face disappeared to be replaced with Giles.

“For the moment I am going to pretend I didn’t hear that; there are far more urgent matters, but Buffy, please consider what you are both doing. That is all I am going to say on the matter, but I will revisit the topic on your return.” His face was uncompromising. “Onto why we contacted you. I-its Dawn. I am so very sorry, but she was stolen from right under our very noses. We are searching for her, but you both need to hurry. I am very concerned about all of this.”

“Stolen when? What happened? Should we come back and help?” Buffy’s strangled tones were forced through a tightness in her throat as guilt and fear filled her.

“Christ what the hell happened? How could a sleeping teenager get nicked?” Spike stomped off, swearing angrily as he began to kick dirt over the fire, putting it out. He then packed the furs up ready for them to leave. He needed to keep his hands busy or else someone was going to get hurt.

“No, stay where you are and keep going…I say, Anya, is the water supposed to go that colour? Good God, duck!”

With that the mirror shattered into tiny pieces.

“Oh crap.” Buffy pulled it off as the chain burst into flame and melted.

The last thing she heard was Anya wishing her happy orgasms.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Maleficent rubbed her hands together, “A job well done. No more help from her interfering little friends. Let’s see how she copes against my dear, dear friend.” Despite her apparent youth and beauty, she cackled like the crone she truly was.

Ole slumped against the bars. He had watched in horror as the evil fairy had begun to create a web of power, desperation seizing him as he finally accepted that he was unable to prevent her. She had cast spell after spell, entwining the essences of all the sleeping children and teens of the town into a single thread that channelled through the brunette sister of the slayer. She had carefully amalgamated all the mystical sleep-induced psyches and merged them into her most powerful victim. He did suppress a small ember of satisfaction; if the slayer managed to save her sister, then all would now be saved as a result of his torturer’s lack of foresight. His glee had been short lived when his captor had then scryed the communication between dimensions and in a deft move, had destroyed the connection.

Leaving the slayer and the vampire isolated from her associates and their support.

He sent a silent prayer to his brother for help and resigned himself to wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Seriously, love, this is getting bloody ridiculous. I’m half expecting Tinkerbell to appear and beat the crap out of us next,” Spike yelled as he ducked under the giant’s club and rolled to the right. They had been trudging up the stony mountain for the last few miles, finally leaving the dark forest behind them and trading it instead for a harsh rocky terrain. In the distance they could see the castle on the summit wreathed in clouds and covered in something black and twisting.

They’d climbed on, both of them intent on each other, exchanging shy smiles and allowing their hands to brush every now and then. So inebriated with each other’s presence they had failed to notice the thick green stalk ahead of them until it was too late. A hairy smelly giant had leapt out from behind the thick leafy stalk, landing with an earth shuddering jolt in front of the two enamoured blondes and had begun to swing his club at them.

Buffy clambered back to her feet and rubbed her shoulder; the club had hit a glancing blow and knocked her to her knees. It hurt, but not as much as she was going to make Big and Bulky hurt. “Funny.” She rolled her eyes at Spike carrying on their previous conversation as she fought. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you. A small blonde beating you up.” She grinned and then launched herself with a yell at the giant that was batting Spike around like a whiffle ball.

The fight was a good way of taking her mind off the worries that filled her. Firstly, Dawn being sleep-napped and now body-napped. Secondly, the mirror shattering and their only connection to the others gone, and finally, Giles’s reaction to Spike kissage. She was not looking forward to that lecture. But she was going to stand her ground. Buffy had no idea where she and Spike were heading kissingwise, but she was sure as hell not missing out on the ride. His lips were just so perfect and sooo talented, and no matter what, Giles wasn’t getting in-between them. ‘Ew, mental image…not pretty. Giles in the way of her and Spike lips, not nice…ick…need to scrub mentally now.’

“Yeah, you know me. I’m a sucker for a strong petite blonde woman going for my nose. Should I call you Tinks from now on?” He waggled his eyebrows bent his knees and leapt into the air with a happy howl. Swinging one of the Snow Queen’s purloined swords, Spike sliced the giant’s left cheek open before dropping like a stone, his free hand reaching for something to grab onto. He landed on the food-stained shirt of the massive giant and began to climb up, intent on reaching the face. He risked a glance back at Buffy and in a brief intense look, they silently communicated their plan. She nodded and checked the distance to the ravine. The latest incarnation of a fairytale bellowed as Buffy stabbed him in the shin. His arms waved around defensively, the club landing with a jarring crash as he dropped it in pain. But the distraction paid off he was too preoccupied to notice Spike’s progress.

Buffy leapt backwards and neatly avoided the enormous stomping foot coming at her. The ground shook at the impact and she scuttled back further, her back hitting the beanstalk the giant had clambered down from earlier after being summonded by the Evil Fairy. “Hey, Big Foot. Where’s your golden goose? I’m gonna go find it and scramble some eggs,” she screamed, hoping to taunt his attention away from Spike climbing up his shirt. “Hey, over here!” She jumped up and down waving her arms, the Snow Queen’s second sword glittering in her hand.

“Grrraghhhh, mine.” The giant thundered over to where she was standing and raised both hands to bring them down on Buffy and make her into a slayer-shaped patty.

“Come oooon, Spike. I sooo don’t wanna be squished,” she whispered not wanting to distract him and held her ground. Sword brandished in one hand, her chin was set in at a determined angle. Inside she was quaking with fear. This giant was as big as the Mayor after he had ascended, and so far she hadn’t found any TNT around this dream realm to blow him up. Instead, she had a demented vampire climbing up the giant’s beard and waving his sword at the beast. God, they were gonna die if this didn’t work.

Spike heaved himself through the hulking giant’s greasy food sprinkled and matted beard. He grimaced as his fingers squished against what looked suspiciously like a half chewed wolf’s testicle. “Seriously, mate, have you ever heard of a napkin? That is probably the most revolting bloody thing I have had in my hands and trust me, mate, I have held some dodgy stuff in my unlife…” He reeled back from the corner of the giant’s open mouth. “What about a breath mint or ten?” Grimacing, he clambered up the giant’s moustache and with an unhappy whimper, grabbed hold of some crusty nose hair to balance himself. He then stabbed upwards with his sword into the giant’s bleary red rimmed eye. The eyeball popped and squished as he swirled the sword around for good measure, blinding their attacker as best he could.

“Huuurts. Bad little man, nasty flea stinging me,” the giant bellowed, staggering around with his fists above still his head. The agonising pain confusing him, he grunted loudly and staggered drunkenly.

Switching hands, Spike shuffled over under the giant’s nose, his duster fluttering in the blast of exhaled stale breath. Before he could stab the other eyeball, the giant inhaled and with a futile yell, Spike’s head and shoulders popped upwards into one of the nostrils.

“Oh that is just so gross! Spike, get out of the giant’s nose and come back down here.” Buffy pulled her ick face as she scrambled around the bean stalk. She edged closer to the ravine it was her job to lead the giant towards.

Blood and gore streamed down the giant’s cheek as Spike managed to push himself free of the mucus-filled hole, and then with great relief he disentangled himself from the giant’s nostril hair and threw himself backwards. He landed and rolled towards Buffy, both of them watching as their massive attacker howled and stumbled around, one hand clapped over his destroyed eyeball. Buffy and Spike watched in relief as the giant moved closer and closer to the edge.

“Ready?”

Buffy nodded. She twirled the sword above head, hesitating to ask, “Are you sure this will work?”

“Yeah, just cut hard and deep. Three, two…one!”

In unison they both attacked. Swinging their swords in arcing blows, they neatly hamstrung the half blind giant. Ducking out of the way, the two fighters staggered backwards and watched the giant teeter on the edge of the ravine. He clutched futilely at the air, his legs useless beneath him. With a final roar he fell backwards to his death, arms cart wheeling and fingers clawing for something to hold onto.

Something to save him from falling.

With a final bone shuddering roar, the giant plummeted downwards, spinning head over heels downwards.

“Yes! We did it! Come’re and give us a kiss, love,” Spike howled with glee, one hand wiping his face clean off mucus as he turned to Buffy with his arms out.

“No way, not when you are covered in giant snot and eyeball goo.”