IT’S ALL A QUESTION OF TIMING …


CHAPTER 4

Minutes turned into days, days turned into weeks, and soon weeks turned into months.

Buffy realised that she should savour every second of her pregnancy. It was great that she had so much support, but every so often she needed time by herself – time that she could spend with her child. The group realised that much of this time was spent talking to her baby and remembering its father. No matter how much they enjoyed her company and wanted to be there for her, they were all aware of the fact that these were some of those moments they couldn’t share, so they gave her the privacy she needed.

She “showed” her baby London by sunlight as she wanted her child to experience the beautiful sights of the city. She didn’t know what part of England William had been born in, but knew that he and Dru had seen London by starlight over the years, Although she was no longer an active slayer, she found herself drawn to St. Martins-in-the-Field that was not only a local place, but also because its fame as a friend to the homeless made it a favourite location for vampires. So most afternoons she went for a walk and spent a few minutes sitting in the peace of the Church feeling that she was giving her baby the real balance of its heritage.

As the weeks passed she became more relaxed about sharing her feelings and her thoughts of Spike with the people she called friends. She asked Willow to be her birth partner and had attended all the anti-natal classes with her. The staff at St. Thomas’s Hospital were very sympathetic for the loss of her baby’s father in “that freak earthquake” in California, but also were glad to see that she obviously had a lot of support. The only thing that she refused to debate with anyone were names – she was given plenty of suggestions but each one was met with a blank stare as she felt that this was something she needed to do alone. She was determined choose a name that maintained Spike’s association with the child. Spike had never mentioned family names to her so she felt that it might have been something he wanted to forget; so her thoughts took her to the obvious choice of William for a boy, but try as much as she could she couldn’t reconcile the feminine equivalent. However on one of her daily walks she realised that she was telling the baby about a section of London that was Victorian and therefore its father would have seen this area when it was first constructed – and so the name of Victoria began to settle in her mind.

###

Meanwhile in LA

Time passes slowly when you have all eternity ahead of you - but time slows ever more when you are in hospital. Spike just wished there was a way that he could get out of his "hospital bed" and head back to his small basement bed-sit. It wasn't much, but at least it was his - and it had cable! But until he could move his hands a little easier he knew that his place was in Angel's apartment at Wolfram and Hart. At least his Grandsire had as little desire for his company as Spike had for "the brooding one".

Still the silence was total at present and he could begin to organise his random thoughts. As ever he had to focus on what he was doing, otherwise his hundred plus years would be narrowed down to a few weeks in Sunnydale - or was it easier to just think of the girl that overwhelmed his thoughts for hours on end.

But he knew that he really had to "move on". Angel was - but there again Angel always did. He found it easy to put the past behind him - either blaming Angelus for past mistakes, or by saying that it was in Buffy's best interest. Spike couldn't understand - and this was what he tended to spend the few seconds of every day when he wasn't thinking about Buffy, pondering. How could Angel move onto Nina - she was a lovely girl, even if she was a werewolf - but she wasn’t Buffy... And how Angel could blame Angelus for his mistakes....

*Oh No Brooding* - that will never do, thought Spike. I promised that I would spend my time here getting my life together - not trying to work out Angel.

Over the weeks that Spike had spent haunting W&H he realised that unlike his Grandsire he was one person - 3 people living in one body. He may now be Spike complete with a soul, but he was also Spike "Slayer of Slayers". The thoughts and memories were still there. They were part of his unlife that had led him to Buffy and thus to both his salvation and to this point in time. He also was honest enough to admit that William, the Victorian poet, was there as well - not as well hidden as he would have liked him to be. This led him back to Angel – he allowed everyone to separate his souled deeds from his Angelus side ... and as for Liam... well, he didn't even exist!

So as Spike was lying there, whiling away the moments of healing, he realised that even if his mind could move on - his heart never would. He would learn to un-live again, but his heart would remain locked in its personal Heaven forever.

###

Time was slipping away, and Xander made good his promise to convert Buffy’s room into a suite for her “family”.

One day as the group was going their separate ways Giles asked to have a word,

“Buffy” he started “I know that you want to choose the baby’s name yourself. However, would you like me to contact Angel and ask if he has any idea what Spike’s real name was. I had researched the line of Aurelius both when The Master became know to us, but also due to your relationship with Angel and then with Spike. Amazingly I learnt Darla and Drusilla’s full names and know much about Angel too; but Spike has always remained elusive to the Watchers over the years. But …”

Buffy interrupted him “I know that between you and the books, and Willow with the internet and the help of Angel we would probably be able to find his name or his history, but, that Spike was not my Spike. He is not my Spike. He put that behind him when he fell in love with me – I know that and accept in, now. So I think it would be nice if that air of mystery was maintained.”

“I agree, but I think he would have liked to have a permanent connection to his child, especially seeing that all we know of him was that he was Victorian”

“Yes, Giles. However this child will grow up knowing about its father, so will be connected – more than just a name. I feel that my Spike was the Spike we all knew in Sunnydale, and that is where this child is from. So thank you, but no! It means a lot that you have thought of it, and even more that you asked first!”

“I know I deserved that, but I also know how much you want this child and want to continue to support you through this time.”

Buffy hugged Giles and then glanced at her watch.

“Must go, last class is in an hour and Willow and I don’t want to miss that. We may get back late, as we’re planning a girly afternoon at the shops. It may be our last chance for some time.”

“Have fun” Giles responded, and pulling out his wallet, he pressed a few notes into her hands, with the instruction to buy some clothes for the coming arrival.

“Thanks Granddad” was the surprise reply as Buffy headed off to meet Willow. Giles realised that time had certainly helped her to heal, but it had also changed his view on life. He had willingly given money to buy clothing for a vampire’s child – should that go down in The Watcher’s Diary? He thought *Not* - but more in case Angel ever got hold of them. The Scoobies had unanimously decided that the date of the baby’s birth would be delayed, so that Angel would only know that Buffy had a new “normal” life, but not that his Grandchilde had anything to do with it …

Well “It’s All a Question of Timing”

tbc