Kindred Series

Kindred: (noun) A group of related persons, such as a family, clan, or tribe.
(adj.) Having a similar or related origin or nature.






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BOOK TWO
THE PAST REVISITED
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Chapter Eight
A Cracked Cup Always Leaks

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The first night after William had been fully moved into the apartment followed one busy day. Between picking up William’s stuff, telling Buffy and Dawn about the new living arrangements, and going shopping with William for food and other things…well, it had been a very long day indeed by the time Xander dropped exhausted into his bed. All that day, the feeling that he was overlooking something important had plagued him, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was. The answer came to him at 2a.m. when he bolted up in bed wide-awake with shock. Angelus! How could he have missed that? It wasn’t Angel that attacked William. It was Angelus, and by keeping quiet he had endangered the others! In a total panic he grabbed his cell phone, and then hesitated trying to decide who he should call. Finally he dialed Angel Investigations and was very relieved to hear Cordy answer the phone in an annoyingly chirpy voice. When she recognized Xander’s voice, Cordy’s tone indicated she was now the one annoyed. After a trying conversation with his ex-girlfriend, Xander was more confused than ever. According to Cordy, Angel had returned to L.A. two days ago and was working like a demon that didn’t need to sleep. He had told his team that he was just trying to catch up lost time, but Cordy had informed Xander that she didn’t believe it for a minute. She didn’t know what was stuck up his ass these days, but Angel had been brooding even more than usual since his trip to Sunnydale. In the end, Xander had ended up leaving a message and gotten off the phone as quickly as he could. Shuddering he wondered not for the first time what in the world he had been thinking dating that harpy. Not that she was totally that way with me, but still…the woman is vicious. So, not Angelus, huh? Nah, couldn’t be. Angelus wouldn’t be wasting time helping others and pretending to be Angel. Angelus would have already killed his employees, and although he could have turned her… Well, Cordy just isn’t that good an actress. Besides…surely even Angelus isn’t enough of a sadist to want Cordy around forever. Xander smirked to himself at that thought before getting serious again. After all, it wasn’t like he was going to get any sleep after that. So he got out of bed and planted himself at the dining room table with a notepad. What started out as a list of ‘might be’ and ‘probably isn’t’ comparisons between Angel and Angelus, had soon turned into a to-do list of what steps to take to protect Will and the others…just in case.

Xander was still at the dining room table fast asleep when William found him the next morning. Smiling at the puddle of drool his friend had created, William began preparing breakfast for the two of them. After brewing the coffee the way Xander had shown him, William waved a cup under Xander’s nose and was amused to see him start twitching in reaction. Xander opened weary eyes and gratefully accepted the coffee. William declined his offer of help and started chopping vegetables for an omelet. As he reached for the loaf of bread to make toast, William asked Xander what he’d been doing sleeping at the table. Xander considered his answer carefully, but then decided to be straightforward with his new friend. This required a bit of back-story, so breakfast was served up and the two men ate while he talked. It was well on morning by the time Xander was done with his tale. William had listened quietly, only asking occasional questions, but Xander could see the mounting concern in his eyes as he came to understand the horror that was Angelus and the havoc he wreaked whenever he made an appearance. In an effort to allay the growing worry, Xander offered to work with Will on some basic self-defense and protection skills. He had to laugh at himself when he realized that he was offering to teach a century-old man the same skills that he had learned by secretly observing him the past few years. William surprised him by gratefully accepting the offer and asking when they could start. They wasted no time in moving the furniture from the center of the room and the lessons started. Whether it was his body remembering what it knew or a natural inclination, Xander wasn’t sure, but William quickly picked up on everything they tried. By the end of their first lesson, both men felt more confident about the situation. And although Xander warned him repeatedly about the dangers of under-estimating someone like Angelus, William felt better about his own abilities. As he was bound and determined to never be taken unaware like that again, he was pleased with both his new living arrangements and his new skills.

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Buffy was not at all pleased. She had been trying for days now to reach one of the men in her life, and none of them seemed to be available to her at the moment. She had left multiple messages for Angel, but he had yet to return any of her calls. Giles was always at the shop and claimed to be swamped with work. And although she was thrilled to hear the Magic Box was doing that well, Buffy couldn’t help but be a tad suspicious of this. Giles had always put her slaying first, but he didn’t seem to have time for her right now. That and the fact that the last few times she had called, she could hear Anya in the background and those two seemed quite chummy lately. Not that I care if they’re…well, whatever it is they might be doing. Xander screwed things up so badly with Anya that I wouldn’t be surprised to find she was interested in Giles now. He’s mature and would treat her right and he hasn’t had a woman in his life since Jenny. Well, Olivia…but occasional visits don’t really count, so no! No woman for Giles in quite some time. And I’m sure he’d be happy to date a mature woman like Anya who shares his interests in so many different areas. Hmmm, now that I think about it, those two are perfect for each other. Really, why did Anya even waste her time on Xander? They’re not suited to each other near as well, and Xander will find someone new. I’m sure of it. Unlike me, that is. Buffy continued on cleaning up the kitchen as she lamented the fact that her friend would likely find someone new long before she had managed to straighten out her own love life. And that brought her thoughts back to William…who had recently – and in a move that had shocked her no end – moved in with Xander of all people. Again with the confusion. Why in the world are the two of them getting along so well lately? Not that I’m not glad about that, because I am, truly. I just don’t get it is all. That and I can’t seem to get hold of either one of them either. Neither one of them is at the apartment when I call or drop by during the day. And where is William spending his time anyway? He’s certainly not at the mansion. I’ve checked and no one is ever there anymore. Xander’s at work all day, and in the evening the two of them are doing things that make me feel like an outsider even more…watching their so-called ‘manly’ movies or playing video games or sparring of all things! And so I don’t want to play video games and don’t really get those movies they watch. Well, so what? Wouldn’t I still be a likely choice for a sparring partner? One would think, but no! William acts scared to touch me most days. And maybe he’s not and I’m over-reacting, but it’s not like I’ll ever know, now will I? Oh, no, of course not. Because in order to know that, someone might actually have to talk to me. Enough is enough. I’ve been patient forever, well for days, at least. And if one of those stupid men doesn’t start talking to me soon…well, I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.

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The days became weeks and small patterns formed as they are want to do in most people’s lives. Xander and William would get up each morning and make a hearty breakfast together, laughing and joking throughout the meal. Xander would drop William by the hospital on his way to work. William spent his days visiting with Emma, getting to know her better and lightening her dreary time in the hospital. They both enjoyed his visits tremendously, and both had missed the other during his self-imposed absence. Unwilling to let her see him after the attack or to share with her the truth of what had happened, William had called and let her know he was under the weather and would see her again in a few days. Upon his return and with a little help from Xander, William had surprised Emma with a personalized TV tray/book stand for her hospital bed. It had a small built-in vanity mirror and radio along with adjustable clamps to affix to the side of her bed. With her tray and daily visits, she was the envy of the other patients in the terminal ward. Being confined to bed was frustrating to even the most patient of people and Emma was no exception in that regard. William became even more of a hero in her eyes after that gift, and she adored his friends, Xander and Dawn. After the first time she met Xander, he started dropping in to visit for a few minutes in the evening before he and William had to leave. He had also picked up on her love of black-and-white movies and gotten into the habit of raiding the local video stores to feed her passion. Between William and Xander, she felt more than a little spoiled. But it wasn’t until she met Dawn that she realized that she was missing out on the joys of having a girlfriend, a hole that was quickly filled. Dawn made it a point to ransack Buffy’s old magazine stacks and together the girls would spend afternoons reading articles, practicing new make-up techniques and laughing at Cosmo quizzes. William would usually leave them to be and plant himself quietly in the corner of the room with a book. It was only when Dawn decided to introduce Emma to that ghastly ‘boy-band’ music that William decided to make himself scarce during the after-school hours visits.

Usually Dawn would leave the hospital after a couple of hours and head home to her sister. Visiting hours on the terminal ward ended at 6p.m., so Xander and William had most evenings completely free to do whatever. Mostly they would spar or watch TV. Hanging out at the Magic Box had long since lost its appeal for Xander. Anya barely acknowledged his presence these days. That and she seemed far more interested in whatever Giles was saying or doing than in making an effort to ease his discomfort around her. She was kind to William, but he never knew exactly what to make of Anya’s outspokenness, so things tended to get very quiet very quickly between the two of them. While Xander was slow and spent a great deal of time in the lovely land of Denial, he wasn’t stupid. He saw how comfortable Giles and Anya were around each other these days, and he suspected that something was going on or would be soon between the two of them. And while he fully realized that she was a free agent – thanks to his actions – he didn’t particularly want to know all the details. So, it was just easier to return to the apartment and spar in the living room rather than go to the Magic Box and deal with all that entailed. It was during one such session that Buffy finally caught up with the two of them.

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It was Xander who yelled that the door was open. Still surprisingly protective of his roommate, he figured that a monster wouldn’t be able to get in with that type of general statement. He had to smile at Buffy’s reaction when she caught sight of him and William wrestling on the carpet. Well, if I’m going to be honest. It’s William that’s got her flustered. Don’t guess she really even noticed me. And while that thought would have once burned the fires of jealousy and animosity deep within him, Xander just shrugged to himself and got up to get drinks for everyone. Apparently maturity is a side effect of growing up and accepting the truth. Who knew?!? When he returned with bottled waters all around, he was surprised to see how tense things seemed to be. He was so used to William being so comfortable around Dawn and Emma – and well, who wouldn’t be thrown off a bit by Anya? – that he had forgotten how shy his friend could be. William had put his shirt back on and seemed to be studying the arm of the couch. Buffy couldn’t seem to stop staring at William, but seemed more than a bit upset and growing more so by the moment. Making a conscious decision, Xander took it upon himself to try to bring things down a notch and ease some of the tension in the room. Turning on the TV and flopping down on the couch between the two of them, Xander immediately began loudly complaining about the lack of quality television these days. He paused on the latest reality show and started ranting about the stupid public who wouldn’t know quality television if it bit them in the ass. He was more than a little pleased when both his friends seemed to relax slightly, and decided to get the conversation moving. So, he posed the question of what they could do with a reality show based on living in Sunnydale? Before anyone other than he registered the change, the three of them were spiritedly yelling out suggestions of what the rules would be and how they would judge and possible prizes. Buffy’s observation that living in Sunnydale was more akin to Survivor than anything else got their attention, and the three had passed a very pleasant evening quickly enough. Xander made it a point to invite Buffy back over – with Dawn in tow the next time – and was pleased that both Buffy and William seemed okay with his suggestions. As his one-time crush walked down the hallway, he had a last thought and stuck his head back out the door to yell at her to bring Willow with her also. The smile he got in response warmed his heart, and he felt really good about his relationship with his friend for the first time in a long time. He felt like they were on even footing for a change. Sure, she was still the Slayer and all, but for once she didn’t have power over him beyond that of a friend. Xander felt like he was standing on his own as a man for the first time in his life. And once again, it surprised him to realize that none of these changes would likely have occurred if he hadn’t been willing to look beyond the surface and dig a little deeper. He was smiling to himself as he headed off to bed that night.

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William didn’t rest well that night. Actually, he hadn’t slept well for the past week or so. He kept having dreams…deeply disturbing dreams. Beyond what he had shared with Xander about his dreams of attacking the faceless girl, William was bothered by these dreams…or memories or whatever they are. It’s not like I can remember anything from ‘Spike’s life’ to know if these are things I should remember or not. Maybe these things really happened, and maybe they’re just random nightmares. William wasn’t sure what to make of it all, and so far he had chosen not to share this with anyone. Xander had enough on his plate worrying about his safety, and the fact that his former fiancée seemed to be moving on, and working and everything else. William was well aware of the fact that he wasn’t contributing anything financially to the household and Xander was footing all the bills, so he had gotten in the habit of getting up and cleaning the apartment when he couldn’t sleep. At the moment, the place was spotless! He sighed to himself as he sank down on the couch and allowed his thoughts to wander. Do I say anything? Do anything? Just wait? I just don’t know what to make of it all. I hate to worry anyone. Xander’s been very good to me. Emma’s got enough to worry about with her own problems. Dawn already worries about me more than she should. And I don’t really know any of the others well enough to talk to them about this. Most surprising of all to William wasn’t that he had nightmares, but that his own attack was never featured in any of them. Even during his waking hours, it wasn’t something he really thought about much. He was very aware of the dangers inherent in living in Sunnydale and the dangers presented by the possible re-emergence of Angelus. Xander had drilled those two into his head to where he was likely to never forget it. But he simply didn’t dwell on the details of what had happened to put him here living with Xander, and that struck him as odd in and of itself. He had been violated in a deeply disturbing and personal manner. Why aren’t I more bothered about it? It’s almost as if though it doesn’t matter. And isn’t that an odd thought to have on this subject? Hmmm. I truly don’t understand this, but of all the things that should be weighing heavily on me, this one doesn’t! Why is that? Does it matter? Maybe I should be grateful not to be more traumatized by it than I am and just let it go? After all, tomorrow is sure to have its troubles. And with that final thought, William succumbed to sleep.

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Dawn was concerned. She was concerned about her sister who seemed more tense than usual lately. Buffy’s more than a bit on edge these days. Girl’s likely to explode for no reason at all. She was concerned about Xander and his reaction when he finally figured out that Anya and Giles had a thing going. He’s way too calm about that, and sure he’s Mr. Denial himself, but give me a break! He’s not stupid. He’s got to see it sooner or later. She was concerned about what had prompted Angel to leave Sunnydale so suddenly and why William sidestepped her when she asked him about it. She had finally stopped asking, but Dawn hadn’t forgotten about it. She thought the timing was more than coincidental that Angel took off without even a call to Buffy and Xander and William became all buddy-buddy the same weekend. There’s something there. Something no one’s telling and I want to know why. She was concerned about Willow who seemed to have dropped off of everyone’s radar lately. Last time she disappeared on us, it wasn’t pretty. She was concerned about Emma who was such a sweet and beautiful person but had to suffer so needlessly. How much longer can she hang on anyway? Most of all though, she was concerned about her best friend. He has no idea what’s to come, and I’m not allowed to warn him. How unfair is that anyway? Guess that’s why they thought it was a fair trade for me to get him back. Hmph. Stupid PTB! Should have known it was too easy when they made me the deal. And while I have all faith in both Spike and William…sometimes a person can only take so much. And sooner or later all this is going to fall apart and the truth is going to come out. And then what happens? What if Emma dies in the middle of all this? He’s so close to her – pretty sure he loves her even – and it would just kill him to lose her now. What if he finds out the truth about his own past before he’s supposed to? I hate this. Stupid deal. Stupid PTB. Stupid Dawn for taking the deal even if it did save your best friend’s life in the process. Frustrated with her thoughts running in circles, Dawn punched the pillow and tried to fall asleep. As she lay there drifting, her last thought was that something had to give and soon, or someone was going to go crazy, and it would likely be her.

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TBC

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