Title: I Buffy You Spike
Author: Oracleholly
For: Twisted_Spuffy
Rating: NC-17
Summary: My twisted take on “I Robot You Jane.”
Disclaimer: You know the drill… I don’t own Buffy, BTVS, Spike or any of the characters therein. I bow down before the Whedon and bask in his glory.

A/N: First, I must thank Megan for her encouragement and beta on this chapter. Dialogue taken from “I Robot You Jane.” Also, I’m not proficient in Italian, so for argument’s sake presumes they are speaking Italian in the prologue. Inner thoughts, as always, are in italics.

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Chapter One

(Prelude)

(Cortona, Italy, 1418)

From a barely-lit tunnel, a heavily cloaked figure pressed a series of stones releasing a trigger in the wall, revealing a garden illuminated only by the full moon. The garden belonged to the monastery; the shadow moved through it with purpose and anger, clutching a large book. The figure paused as a lone monk exited the church and walked toward a vegetable patch.

Thelonius had left his brothers to gather some greens for the next day’s meals, when a shadow cast over him. Startled, he stood and turned and beheld the cloaked form of an intruder. Although Thelonius could not see the thing’s face, he could clearly see two golden eyes.

The form delighted in the fear coming off the monk, and on any other occasion, he would have reveled in making the young one a meal. But to fulfill his purpose, he needed the monk – this monk and his brothers. Growling with anger, the figure said, “Do you not know what has happened?”

Thelonius had known it was dangerous coming outside by himself. He had been schooled in the existence of demons, but until tonight, he had never faced one before. Composing himself the best he could, Thelonius answered, “No, demon. How dare you cross into the sanctity of the Holy Church!”

The figure laughed. “Oh yes, so saintly. And yet, here I stand. Your God has not struck me down. Enough of your ignorant prattle! Time presses. A most dangerous devil has been released into the world. Moloch!”

Thelonius gasped. He had heard of such a creature, and knew that his Order had been specifically tasked with making sure Moloch was forever prevented from reeking havoc and destruction. How had such a thing come to pass? How did this demon know of such things? Before he could put voice to the many swirling questions in his brain, the figure shoved a book into his stomach. His hands automatically clasped the book in response. “What?”

“You monks allowed this book to be stolen. I’ve gone to great pains to retrieve it. Do the ritual quickly, before it becomes too late!” the figure demanded, turning to depart.

“Wait! How do we know you, yourself, weren’t the one responsible for this atrocity?”

A waxen hand reached out and grabbed the monk by his neck; talon-like nails bore into his skin. After a few gasps for air, the intruder released the monk and said, “Be fortunate that I will overlook your insult and that your enemy is also mine.” With that said, the demon seemingly merged back into the far shadows of the garden.

Thelonius rushed inside the church to deliver the dire news to his brethren.

The figure reopened the passageway to the tunnel. He would know soon if the monks cast the necessary spell in time.

Moloch had robbed him of yet another potential childe with his mesmerizing power. It burned him that Moloch’s skill at entrancement surpassed his own. First Mia and now his beloved, Carlo.

Two other cloaked figures met him in the passageway.

“Is it done, sire?” one of the figures asked.

Dropping his hood and revealing his countenance, Heinrich Nest smiled his already bat-like smile and replied, “Soon, my childe. Soon I will know if further action is warranted. It is in the hands of the monks for now.”

*********
(Present Day)

Leaning against a cavern wall, Spike blew out a steady stream of smoke. Old Bat-face was giving him quite the headache. Six days ago he had been summoned, or rather forced, to the Master’s side, and for four days he’d been standing around twiddling his thumbs.

Spike lamented that he should have just dusted the four lumbering minions when they had approached him in Marseilles. Of course, he’d been pissed off his arse at the time, so resistance, as the Borg say, was futile. He didn’t even know if Drusilla had been told what had happened to him. Then again, she was so preoccupied with wanting to go to Prague that she probably had gone off without him. Bitch.

So for the past four days, Spike had been subjected to listening to the Master wail about some demon named Moloch, how some monks had failed, how he would flay the person responsible for releasing the beast and so on and so forth. It was enough to make Spike believe that the Master had some kind of evil envy.

He did find the Master’s predicament quite amusing – being trapped in a mystical prison had to suck.

Between the rants about Moloch, Spike had to endure listening to the minions talk about the new Slayer – how she defeated Luke, how Angelus had turned against the family and dusted Darla, and how the Master was prophesized to kill her. Bugger that. If anyone around here were killing a slayer, it would be him. Sure, Spike wasn’t part of the great ol’ mighty Order, but that didn’t mean he didn’t get his jollies from taking slayers down.

A minion, who Spike had dubbed ‘Curly,’ interrupted Spike from his reverie. “Spike, the Master wishes for your presence.”

Exhaling a twirl of smoke, Spike looked at Curly with annoyance. “What’s he want?”

“I do not presume to know the desires of the Master. Please come.” Curly bowed and backed away.

Spike mused that at least these minions knew their place. Sighing, Spike dropped his cigarette, stamping it into the ground, and followed after Curly.

************

For the thousandth time Spike cursed his sire, his grand-sire, his great-grand-sire and, of course, the Master, who begat them all. Of all the idiotic, insane commands he’d been given in his unlife, Spike had never been asked to walk right into the belly of the beast and offer assistance to a sworn enemy. Well, that was half-true. There was that time he and Dru walked right into the Watcher’s Council, but that was for Drusilla.

After getting scouting reports from several minions, Spike had determined that the Slayer’s Watcher was the new librarian at Sunnydale High School. He’d not yet glimpsed the Slayer, but he had heard that she was some peppy blonde California girl. For now though, he focused his attentions on approaching the Watcher.

Amazingly, the Watcher seemed oblivious to the Moloch situation. This fact irked the Master the most – well, it was tied with the revelation that Moloch wasn’t corporeal. Somehow, some idiot must have acquired Moloch’s prison and scanned it into a computer. Yes, Moloch was in the Net.

Being on the net, the potential for recruits and disciples was almost endless. According to the Master, Moloch possessed great powers of persuasion and enchantment. Already, Spike had witnessed three of the Master’s most loyal minions renounce him and declare their love for Moloch. Spike had dusted all three; one of them had been Curly. It had been amusing, really, seeing the absolute fury of ol’ Bat Face at his impotence – couldn’t torture them himself, couldn’t do anything about Curly prattling on about the great Moloch. Spike would have let them be, but those minions had begun to give him a headache and ruin his buzz. If he hadn’t been sobering up, he might have let them continue to annoy the old git, but as it was, he had just staked them right and proper. And then he had to listen to Great-Great Grand Pappy castigate him for destroying his minions. Couldn’t the tosser make up his mind?

Regardless of his feelings of not giving a damn for the Master and his love of the Old Ones, Spike agreed that Moloch was a menace that someone needed to put a permanent ending to. He scoffed at the Master’s suggestion that someone get Moloch back into the book. All the world would need was someone else doing the exact same thing, and it would be back to square one. No, he liked his world where the happy meals weren’t kowtowing to some freak. It did something to their blood. No fight, no fear… just ruined the taste.

Popping the bones in his neck, Spike pushed open the doors to the Sunnydale High School library. Seeing the object of his quest before him, Spike announced himself with a, “’lo Watcher.”

Rupert Giles didn’t glance up when the library doors had first slammed open. Buffy usually announced her presence that way. So when a male voice echoed through the thankfully empty room, calling him by his secret identity, Giles almost spilled his tea. Almost.

Composing himself, Giles took in the man standing a few feet away. First impressions were that he was a brash individual with a fondness for the punk look. The shocking white-blonde hair and blue eyes with a trace of eyeliner made Giles nostalgically recall his Ripper days. Then Giles absorbed the pale countenance and the lack of breathing and processed that the “man” in front of him was, in actuality, a vampire.

With his left hand, he seamlessly reached for the cross he used as a paperweight.

“No need for that, Watcher. If I had wanted you dead, I’d have already been dropping your sorry carcass to the floor,” Spike claimed.

Giles gulped. He realized that what the vampire said was the truth and that he would need to see about asking Angel how to block access to the library. “Very well. I have to admit I’m curious as to what your kind is doing here. My Slayer will be here any moment.”

“No, she won’t.” Spike searched his pockets; finding a scrap of paper, he read it before crumpling back and returning it to the pocket. “Slayer’s got History this period. No, I’ve got you to myself, Rupie.”

“Kindly do not call me that again,” Giles said with a trace of Ripper.

“Oh yeah. I’ve done my research about you. Does your Slayer know about your trip on the darker side?”

“No. No, she does not. And neither will she, if I can help it,” replied Giles. “You say that you’re not here for my Slayer and you’re not here to kill me. Please do enlighten me as to your visit…?”

“Spike,” he offered, already completely bored with this meeting.

“Spike? Please tell me why you are here… Spike,” asked Giles.

“It’s like this….”

**********

To say that Buffy Summers wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted her when she entered the library after History class would be putting it mildly. As she approached the library, her spidey-senses started firing. She wasn’t used to that. Giles had told her that one day, with training, she would be able to pick up on danger, but even when she was around Angel, she didn’t get any buzz.

Buffy started to run as she rounded the corner. She didn’t care that people were staring. They already thought she was weird anyway. In the background, she heard who she thought might be Harmony say, “What’s her problem? Loser.”

Buffy shoved opened both doors and barreled through. She stopped short at what she beheld: her Watcher having tea with a vampire. He had to be a vampire – way dated clothes, Billy Idol hair, black nail polish and almost translucent skin. In spite of the dated threads, she couldn’t help notice with a twinge of regret how hot the vamp was. Way hotter than Angel, came an unbidden inner voice

“Buffy, do be a dear and lock the doors, please. Oh, and you might want to pick your chin off the floor,” Giles said, amusement clear in his tone.

Buffy realized that indeed her mouth was open in shock. She mentally told herself to shut it before turning around and following her Watcher’s orders. Halfway through her task, her mind shouted at her that she didn’t just blindly follow Giles’s orders.

For his part, Giles busily watched Spike. Before Buffy had come flying into the room, Giles noted that Spike had tensed. However, if Giles hadn’t been already observing him and was a student of body language, he wouldn’t have noticed. He doubted that Spike knew he had given such a sign.

Spike had felt her before she arrived. He had never felt a Slayer that strongly before. He wondered if it was from killing the other two. Did he now have stronger radar for them? He didn’t think so. Back in the early nineties he’d found out he’d been in the same room with one and didn’t know it until much later. So, this feeling must be all her.

Spike examined this new Slayer – the thorn in Bat face’s side. She was petite with curves. Her face still displayed some baby fat, but she looked gorgeous with it. Her hair was piled on her head, obviously a dye job, but a good one. She must drive the boys crazy, wearing those too-tight tops and shorter-than-short skirts. Does she slay while wearing them?

******************
(A little while later)

“So let me get this straight. Some demon has been released in the Internet? How did that happen?” Buffy asked.

An uneasy, unspoken truce had developed in the intervening minutes after Buffy’s abrupt arrival in the library. Now, all three – Watcher, Slayer, and Vampire – were seated around the big table usually used for Scooby meetings and research. Spike, for his part, seemed the most at ease with his crossed feet planted on the table, his chair precariously tilted backwards. Giles had his nose firmly ensconced in a musty tome, the left ear tip of his glasses in his teeth. Still irritated that her Watcher had demanded in a very un-Giles-like manner for her to sit down and be quiet, Buffy squirmed in her seat, poised to counter any move the vampire across from her might make.

“You’re not too bright there, are ya, Goldilocks?” Spike teased, pleased to sense the rise in her heart rate. He held up a blank book and gestured to its emptiness, “Someone must have scanned it.”

“Goldilocks? Shut up, you bleached moron!” Buffy responded, gripping the stake she had concealed under her skirt. Her hold on the stake was so tight that her fingers started to bleed.

The scent of Slayer blood aroused Spike’s senses, and he found himself fighting to not lose control of his human visage and cross the table right then and have himself a real good day. As it was, he tried imagining the most disgusting things to help regain control – Bat face…a Grovloc demon’s mating ritual…Angelus fucking Drusilla…Angelus in his underpants…Angelus not wearing his underpants. That did the trick! Happy with his re-discovered restraint, he flashed the cute Slayer a knowing smile.

“I didn’t know you were advertising, pet,” he suggested.

Completely baffled and slightly unnerved by what the vamp might be implying, Buffy cautiously asked, “What are you talking about now?”

“Your blood, Slayer. Right tasty little morsel, aren’t we?” He suggestively stuck out the tip of his tongue and, confirming that the Watcher was in fact too engrossed in his book to notice, ran his hand to cup his crotch.

Buffy’s eyes traveled the path of his hand until she realized what she was doing. Her eyes bulged, and she blushed. “You’re a pig, Spike.”

“Oink, oink, pet.”

“Ah!” exclaimed Giles, quickly followed by a frown and an “Oh good Lord.”

“Uh oh.” Buffy thankfully turned her attention to her worried Watcher. “That’s not a ‘good-lord-world’s-going-to-end’, is it, Giles? ‘Cause I have a date this weekend. I was planning on buying shoes. They’re pretty shoes – soon to be Buffy shoes. Giles… Giles?”

Spike could tell the news wasn’t good, but he couldn’t help finding himself amused by what the Slayer was babbling. What sort of Slayer goes on dates? He wondered what sort of bloke was her type. He could faintly scent his grand-sire on her, but he didn’t think the Watcher would allow such a thing. Still…

Gripping the bridge of his nose, Giles finally answered Buffy’s query. “Buffy, far be it from me to keep you from the mysteries of shoe shopping, but as the world will probably end by tomorrow night…well, that might detract from that activity.” Under his breath, Spike heard Giles mumble, “Oh, yes, Rupert, Slayers will listen to their Watchers. Slayers don’t date. Don’t have friends. Duty comes first. Utter bollocks.”

Spike snickered, which earned him a scowl from Giles and a confused look from the Slayer. Opting for once to keep his mouth shut, Spike allowed the Watcher the floor.

“Giles?”

“It seems that Spike was correct in his assessment of the situation. In fact, it’s most dire. Moloch is a very dangerous and deadly demon. He seems to appeal to those individuals that feel that their worth is under-appreciated and offers them love in exchange for their complete devotion. However, as Moloch acquires this adoration, it increases his power. He will not rest until the world bows down before him. Resistance is met with destruction.”

“But if he’s in the computer, he won’t be able to do anything,” Buffy reasoned.

“Please. He’s able to go global faster now, Slayer.”

Then as if a light bulb went off in her mind, Buffy exclaimed, “Oh no, Willow!”

Both Spike and Giles stared at Buffy who now had an extreme frown on her face.

“What about Willow, Buffy?” Giles asked.

“Spike just said that someone had scanned in the Mor-on-what-its-name…”

“Moloch,” Spike and Giles said simultaneously.

Giving them her best ‘whatever’ look, Buffy continued, “that the demon was scanned into the computer. Well, Willow was doing that earlier this week. Remember, Giles?”

Giles appeared alarmed.

On a roll now, Buffy kept talking, putting the pieces together. “Now, all of a sudden, she has this secret boyfriend that she met online. She was going to tell me today…but that was before I came in here. She’s been spending all that time in the computer lab, you know.”

“But surely, Willow would not fall prey to such a character,” Giles stammered.

“You do know Willow, right? I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s my best friend, but she’s not exactly hanging with the cool kids.” Posing her question to Spike, she asked, “You’ve been studying me, right?”

“Yeah,” Spike cautiously answered, wondering where she was going with this.

“So, you must have noticed Willow?”

“Red,” he replied.

Taking that as a yes, Buffy questioned, “So what did you think?”

“Shy, in love with the whelp. Don’t see why, he’s an idiot. If she hadn’t been with you, she’d’ve been a quick meal. Easily forgotten,” Spike summarized.

“Okay. First, ewww with the meal-age. Secondly, no eating of my friends. So, would you say that this Moloch demon could ‘romance’ Wills? Make her feel all special?”

“Absolutely, Slayer. That’s how I would play it.” Spike realized he would have to reassess his opinion of the Slayer’s tactical skills. One second she was the bubblegum princess worried about shoes, but now, her Slayer side was emerging. She was beautiful.

Giles saw the look that Spike was now giving his Slayer. He’d thought that the one vampire was bad enough. He wondered if other Watchers had noticed attractions between vampires and slayers in the past. He’d not remembered reading anything in the journals; however, he did recall hearing rumors. Perhaps, he should study this further. That is…if…they defeated this formidable foe.

Clearing his throat, both Slayer and Vampire directed their attention back to him. Giles said, “If this is indeed the case…if Miss Rosenberg has fallen under the influence of Moloch, we need to assist in breaking that connection. Buffy, you will need to confirm this by speaking to her. Of course, please try to be careful. We don’t know how strong the influence could be if it is true. Also, if he has, as Spike informed us, already converted a following, we need to discover if the computer library has been compromised. Assuming that it has, I may need the assistance of Miss Calendar to rectify that situation.”

After several minutes of discussion, Spike and Buffy exited the library together, while Giles phoned a colleague at Sunnydale University. As he dialed the well-known number, he rubbed his temple wearily and prayed for forbearance. Another vampire…

TBC
___________


ETA: I noticed I had an inconsistency in my own timetable within the first chapter...it has been corrected.