*~*~*~*~

Spike fueled the bike and rode back to his crypt, leaving it propped against the outside. The gravekeeper knew he was there. They’d had a nice discussion a few weeks before when Spike had outed him as a Coovudon demon. Looked human enough, but drew strength from corpses being nearby. So, Spike had made a deal with him. He wouldn’t kill the demon and the demon would look the other way as Spike continued to usurp the electricity and rode his bike over the graves.

He rubbed his eyes and sat down in front of the television, flipping it on. Even though Buffy was halfway across town, she was drawing him back. He refused to go. The bond kept her feet firmly in the world, but it wasn’t like a magical rope that pulled them together. No, they could survive without each other, but it would be hard. It would even border on hell. The ache in his chest was proving that already.

How she could doubt him after all they had shared he couldn’t fathom. He had been joking with Willow and Dawn on the street. He’d never hurt a hair on their sweet heads. Now if Xander had been there -

No, he wouldn’t have hurt the little ponce either. For her.

The door opened suddenly and Dawn slipped inside, shutting it quickly. "There’s a man out there sniffing a fresh grave," she told him.

"That’s Marcus. He’s harmless." For a Coovudon demon, he added silently.

"He’s also naked. I’m scarred for life."

"What do you want, bit?"

"Are you okay?"

"Shouldn’t you be at home?"

"It’s too crazy there. Even for me. Giles was forcing Buffy to bleed on the scroll thing again and Willow was trying to hide from him because he wants to ‘have a talk’ with her." She used air quotes. "That usually means that he’s going to yell and make you feel bad at some point. And Xander and Anya showed up being Xander and Anya. So, I snuck out of the house and came to see you."

"Which brings us back ‘round to what you want."

"Did you really bite Buffy?"

"She knew I was going to."

"Angel did that once, too."

Spike raised his eyebrow. "Did he now?"

"She made him." Dawn hopped up on the sarcophagus, sitting Indian style and looking very young. "Do you really love her?"

"Yes." Spike was still contemplating Angel biting what was HIS, but he attempted to push it away so he could speak to Dawn with a clear head. "I do love her."

"Then you shouldn’t have just left like that." She crossed her arms. "I’m just a kid and even I know that when someone already has abandonment issues and is about to be left again ... you shouldn’t do the same thing to her."

"Then why did you leave?" Spike snapped. "You’re not with her either."

"I’m going back," she replied. "Are you?"

"It’s complicated."

"Then uncomplicate it. Do something right for a change."

"For a change? You’re just like your soddin’ sis! What do you think I’ve been doing for months? Longer than that, even!"

"Then give me a ride back home and talk to her."

"You walked over here! Walk back."

"I actually didn’t walk. I hitched." With a smug expression, she slipped off the edge of the tomb. "I’m a rebel that way."

Spike grabbed her. "You’re going to rebel your way across my knee if you ever do something that stupid again."

"I’m joking! Gosh! I rode my bike! You think I’m dumb? I’d probably stick my thumb out and lose my head for the effort. This is Sunnydale."

"Precisely! You shouldn’t be out."

"So, take me home."

"Fine, but I’m not coming in."

"This is what you’ve wanted forever, Spike. She wants you. Like, really wants you. All of you. Not you fitting in an ash tray, but you in general."

"That’s the bond talking."

"I guess I better get used to hearing it. I heard Giles telling someone on the phone about it and said that she was a virgin again when it -"

Spike’s eyes widened as realization set it. She had been a virgin. He let loose a string of curses that had Dawn giving him a thumbs up. "That was impressive. And I don’t even know what half of it means," she told him. "I hope I can remember it."

"It bloody well means that I need body armor."

"Why?"

"Between your sister and Giles, one of them is going to get a stake through my chest."

"You’re not coming in, remember?"

"Right." He grabbed his duster and shoved his arms through it, knowing even as he said it that he would not only go in the house, he’d probably beg to stay.

*~*~*~*~

After Buffy had bled enough on the locked metal cylinder to feed an army of thirsty vampires, it clicked open and revealed the original contract inside. Giles, still intent on reading her the riot act for being such an idiot, handed her a box of matches and led her downstairs to the fireplace. He was reminding her, for the fifth time in as many minutes that things which sounded too good to be true generally were.

"Can I stay under the contract for a few more minutes? At least until the wicked cool healing powers take effect? Because I think you cut me to the bone." She held up her palm, which was still bleeding. "And ow, by the way."

Giles merely removed the fireplace screen and motioned for her to join him. She sighed and laid the scroll on the metal grate. "I’m just saying five, ten minutes tops," she persisted.

"Strike the match, Buffy. If you have residual pain then I daresay it will be a lesson you’ll long remember." He gave her a scathing look. "And the lesson is-"

"I know!" she sighed, setting the contract ablaze. "Things are not always what they seem. Sometimes they’re even worse."

"Nicely stated." He watched as the parchment turned to dust and then reached for her hand, examining the wound for himself. "Should heal nicely."

"In a day or two. I could have waited a few more minutes." She pouted for a second, then shrugged. "You know, as bad as it was, I still have a hundred thousand dollars."

"That I suggest you invest wisely. Sunnydale Mall is doing fine without your contributions."

"You’ll help me with that before you leave, right? Figuring out how to save or invest or whatever?"

He was touched. "Certainly, Buffy. In any way that I can."

She nodded, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. It still hurt her all the way to her toes that he was leaving her, but he didn’t deserve any more of her abuse. She actually felt bad about the way she had behaved. But, she had once told Angel that love made you do the wacky and loving someone and having them leave was bound to invite wackiness and bitchiness in equal measure.

"Something on your mind?" he asked gently, nudging her with his elbow.

"I’m sorry," she said. "About everything. I *am* happy for you. We’ll be okay. I- I’ll be okay, now. I will."

"I know that you told me earlier that this is a closed topic, but I just wondered-"

"What it was like in heaven?" she finished for him, smiling a little sadly. When he nodded, she took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. "It’s quiet. I mean, you can still think and you know who you are and what you’ve been through, but you feel peace with it all. That’s what everyone says, I know. But it’s true."

"Were there other people there?"

She swallowed hard. "Nothing really had form. I didn’t. They didn’t. But I could feel them all. Everyone I loved and lost. It’s almost like they would go through me at times. Like a ghost hug or something. I could smell mom’s perfume and stuff like that."

"It sounds-"

"It was incredible, Giles." Her eyes welled with tears, but she was able to blink them away. "She was there."

"Your mother?"

"Yes, but I mean Jenny. She’s okay."

"Thank you." It was his turn to blink back tears, but he didn’t quite make it. It was more than he could have asked her to share with him and he felt a hundred pounds lighter. His heart literally soared. "I know that nothing I say will ease the pain of trying to transition back into this world. But I think if you look hard enough, if you listen close enough, and if you allow yourself to live again ... you’ll find that there’s a little bit of heaven in everything we do."

She glanced at him. "That was kind of beautiful."

He gave her hand an affectionate squeeze and stood, helping her to her feet as well. "Tomorrow we’ll discuss your financial situation and your recent, er, acquisition of cash."

Yawning, she nodded. "You think I could get the Watcher Council to pay me?"

"Not on your life."

"I bet Willow could make them pay me."

"Speaking of -"

They both heard Willow swear from the stairwell and heard her footfalls as she raced back up to her bedroom. They exchanged glances and laughed. Then Giles excused himself and headed up after her.

Buffy put the fireplace screen back in place and stood, intent on finding Dawn and making another apology. The front door opened and she frowned. Xander and Anya had left a while earlier and she wasn’t expecting company. In the foyer she was shocked to see Spike helping tug a football helmet off Dawn’s head. Her heart sped up a little when he looked at her, then turned his attention back to Dawn’s predicament.

"I told you to wear the regular one," he growled.

"This one is nostalgic!" she cried. "My ears are stopping it!"

"I can rip them off," Buffy told her. "Where the hell have you been?"

Dawn yelped a little and looked up, helmet still attached in a very lopsided manner. "Uhm, I had a bad dream?"

"Now try one that I didn’t use on mom." Buffy tried to ignore the pull inside her, but found herself invariably drawn in Spike’s direction. She forced her feet to stop in front of Dawn and she tugged the helmet off for her little sister. "What were you doing on the back of Spike’s bike?"

"Gymnastics?"

"Not. Funny."

Dawn put her hands on her hips. "Not. Explaining."

"I will." Spike glanced down at Buffy and his silent heart flipped in his chest. She was beautiful, even with her puffy eyes and red nose. "She just needed a little air. So much happened tonight that-"

Buffy cut him off. "Dawn, go to your room."

"Great! You get to run off and spaz out and *I* get sent to my room for taking a walk."

"Now!" Buffy shouted.

"Ack! Going!" Dawn flew past her sister and up the stairs.

"Don’t be hard on her." Spike reached out, gently gripping the Slayer’s arm as she made a move to follow Dawn up the stairs.

Buffy whirled to face him, yanking free from his grasp. "*You* don’t get to give me advice about being hard on someone. What you did earlier ... just leaving like that? That was hard on *me*."

"I’m sorry, love."

"So am I!" Buffy snapped. "I thought you were different."

"I am."

"No, you’re not! You’re just like everyone else. When the going gets tough you leave. I can’t even pretend to not expect it anymore!"

"I’m not-"

"It’s okay! It’s not like you made promises or anything. Go ahead. Go."

He gritted his teeth against the things he was tempted to say to her. Instead, he pulled her against him and kissed her. Hard. It took a second, but she responded and he let her arms go, relaxing a little when they wove around his neck. He eased back, resting his head against hers. "Here’s a promise for you, love. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. You can’t get rid of me. Bond or no bond, I’m in it for good. Now, if you keep pissing me off, you may find your eternal reward a little sooner than we thought, but-"

"Shut up." Buffy leaned against him, hugging him tight. Their separation, albeit short, had slashed at her soul. She couldn’t be without him another second. "I hate you."

He kissed the top of her head, smiling against her hair. "I hate you too, baby."

Giles cleared his throat at the top of the stairs. The couple broke apart, watching as he descended. Buffy took a step away from the vampire, but he pulled her back against him. "Spike-"

"They may as well get used to it, Buffy. We’re together."

"I feel confident in telling you," Giles said, clearing the last step and stopping in front of Spike. "that I will never ‘get used to it’."

"May as well, mate. I’m not going anywhere." Spike tilted his chin, daring the man to object.

"Can we not have a repeat of earlier?" Moving between the two men, Buffy sighed. "I’m tired. My head hurts. And I just want to sleep."

Giles took her elbow and guided her to the sofa, knowing that Spike was following right behind them. "Willow utilized the time she spent hiding from me to come up with a very peculiar piece of information regarding the bonding ritual that the two of you performed."

Buffy took Spike’s hand in hers as Giles moved to sit opposite them. "What did she find?"

Glancing from one to the other, he narrowed his eyes. "Did either of your vocalize the claim?"

"There was a lot of vocalizing, mate."

"Spike!"

Giles reddened a little, but maintained his composure. "You have to speak the claim aloud and even if you had ... the bond only works between a *human* and a vampire."

"I am human, Giles."

"You’ve been touched by supernatural power, Buffy. It’s what makes you a Slayer. It also brought you back from the dead. No, you’re not merely a human. You’re more."

"But-"

"It’s impossible for two supernatural beings to bond to one another. A vampire couldn’t bond to a werewolf any more than a werewolf could bond to a Feyarl demon."

"I can feel it." Buffy put her hand over her chest. "It’s there, Giles. It’s inside me."

Spike considered what the man had said. After a few seconds, he stood and paced across the room, agitated. "She was disappearing, Giles. Right in front of me. Then we shagged and -"

"I didn’t say you couldn’t anchor her. I said you couldn’t bond with her."

"What’s the difference?" Buffy asked.

Clearing his throat, Giles took a deep breath and said, "I could have touched you and prevented the Alliance from teleporting you. So could Dawn or Willow for that matter."

"That’s just gross!" Buffy’s eyes widened. "I would never have sex with-"

"Do either of you ever listen?" Giles leaned forward. "A simple TOUCH would have anchored you. But -"

"But what?" Spike snapped, returning to sit next to Buffy.

"Only the touch of someone who truly loves the person in danger can give them roots." Giles turned his gaze toward Spike. "So."

"So at least now you believe me!" Spike glared at the man.

Buffy was stunned. She sat perfectly still, her mouth a perfect ‘o’. She could hear Spike and Giles discussing the Alliance and understood that the council had confirmed that the contract was dissolved, but she couldn’t wrap her head around what she had just heard. There was no bond? What could that possibly mean? How could she- "Oh my god." she gasped as realization began to wash over her.

Both men turned their attention to her. She stared at Spike, her eyes welling with tears. "What have you done to me?"

Confused, he shook his head. "Uh, nothing?"

"If - if there isn’t a bond then what’s wrong with me?"

"What do you mean?" Giles asked.

She ignored him, still staring at Spike with a look of abject horror. "That would mean- this whole thing means -" She stood on shaking legs. "No. No. No. I can’t love you. You’re - you’re *Spike*. I can’t love you just based on principle alone! When I thought it was the bond talking that was different, but now? Oh god, the things I did with you!"

"I was actually there, pet." Spike took her hand, pulling her back down and into his arms. "You do love me. I knew it."

"Then I’m stopping! Right now!"

Giles rolled his eyes and stood intent on finding something with a very high alcohol content to drink. He found a dusty bottle of peach schnapps in the back of the pantry and gulped down half the contents. Half an hour later, bottle empty and his head a little woozy, he walked back into the living room. Buffy and Spike were kissing.

He went back into the kitchen to finish the schnapps and found Dawn sitting on the counter. "What are you doing?" he asked, a little dizzy from the drink.

"She loves him."

"Yes, it would appear so."

"She has for a long time. When she died ... I read her diary."

"Dawn!"

"I didn’t do it to be a snoop!" She shook her head. "I did it because I wanted some kind of link with her. I missed her so much."

"At any rate-"

"I know, I know. I’m ashamed." Dawn reached for a bag of chips and dug in, crunching noisily. "What do you think will happen now?"

"I think she’ll heal." Giles sipped from the bottle. "With his help. With all of our support."

Dawn nodded. "Did she say what heaven was like?"

Giles took a deep breath and sighed. "That’s a story that she will need to tell you."

Willow came into the room and grinned. "Major smoochies in the living room. I’m glad Xander isn’t here. He’d probably set the house on fire to pull them apart."

Dawn giggled a little. "You wanna talk about fire? I bet Spike’s going to show her what heaven is all about. And I guarantee you heaven’s on fire where he’s concerned."

"Dawn!" Buffy shouted from the doorway, stunned.

"She has a point, love." Spike nipped her on the ear and wrapped his arms around her. "Just you wait and see."

"For the record," Giles slurred as he drained the bottle a hiccupped loudly. "a real watcher knows his limits."


"I can see that, mate." Spike pointed at the bottle.

"A real watcher would have known better than to shag the Slayer." With a loud belch, Giles drew his hand over his mouth, "You, sir, would be fired and possibly slain if you had been a real watcher."

"Good thing you never promoted me above ‘seeing eye vampire’, innit?" Tossing one of the watcher’s arms over his shoulder, Spike helped him to his feet and led him to the living room, depositing him on the sofa.

"I do believe I’m a bit mullered." Giles leaned his head back. "Spinning room. Dear lord."

Buffy bit her bottom lip as she watched him attempt to remove his shoes. She bent down and tugged his loafers off, then eased his legs up onto the sofa, helping him stretch out. "Giles, you really should go to sleep."

"Perchance to dream," he replied, tossing his arm over his eyes. "And this will all have been a nightmare."

Glancing over at her friends, Buffy said, "He took this really well."

"I wonder how he’ll take me moving in." Spike put his arm around her, kissing her cheek.

"God help me, I’m not asleep yet." Giles snapped. "And I can assure you that I won’t take that well, either."

"But on the plus side, you won’t be here to see it," Spike replied.

Giles glanced out from under his arm, eyes narrowed. "I wonder if Xander would like to be a watcher."

*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy stretched, smiling when Spike moved closer to her, nuzzling her neck. Life had gotten better. She even enjoyed it. For the most part. There were still the demons to contend with. And the aches and pains associated with Slaying. But life was ... good.

Earlier in the day, Giles had arrived with a very pregnant Olivia. They had all enjoyed dinner and ice cream and then Giles pulled her aside, presenting her with an envelope. When she opened it, she was stunned to see a check and shocked speechless when she saw the amount of zeroes on the end of it. She blinked several times, staring at the signature at the bottom. "Quentin Travers?"

"I’ve utilized my time away wisely." He sat down on the front steps and waited for her to join him. "I appealed to the council, reminded them of your recent loss, and made it very clear that future Slayers will be enticed by organizations like the Alliance because there is no real compensation in being a Slayer. What you’re holding in your hand is your pay, retroactive or course, from the date you were activated."

Her throat constricted painfully and her heart swelled with emotion for the Englishman. "The council did compensate me, Giles." Hot tears dropped onto her cheeks as she looked from the check, into his eyes. "They gave me you."

"Yes, well." He removed his glasses, concentrating on cleaning them. He was moved by her words, touched deep inside by the powerful simplicity of her statement. "It’s a fair trade, I’d say."

"Thank you. For everything."

He put his arm around her and hugged her. "I hope that removing the financial burden gives you a small measure of peace."

"I am at peace, Giles. Really."

"I think you are." He studied her face, convinced that the smile she gave him was genuine. "You are the greatest Slayer who has ever lived. Twice, I might add. The council knows your worth. You can expect to be regularly paid."

"What about you? What will you do for money?"

"I resumed my old job as the curator of the British Museum."

"Wow, check you out. Fancy job title and everything."

"Yes, well, ‘watcher’ will always be my fondest title."

"Just wait until you hear ‘dad’. I bet you’ll change your mind."

"I hear it with my heart every time you speak to me, Buffy."

"Aww." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Life really is worth living. You know? I thought that death was my gift, but I was wrong. Every day is my gift. I’m glad to have it."

"Spike makes you happy, yes?"

She leaned back, letting him see the sincerity in her face. "Yes, he does."

"I’ll let you give him this, then." He pulled another envelope from his jacket pocket. "Inside you’ll find a driver’s license, birth certificate, and passport for one William Spike Atherton."

"I - I don’t get it."

"He gave you roots once. It’s time to return the favor."

And return the favor she had.

Several times.

Heaven was on fire, burning deep in her soul, setting her heart ablaze with the love she felt for Spike. As far as she was concerned, it was better than the real thing.

The End