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Dear Diary by LiquidVamp
Sleep and Dream
Dear Diary,
I don’t know what to do. I haven’t slept more than an hour a night in over a month. So far I’ve been able to hide it from almost everyone, but the circles under my eyes are starting to look worse than any black eye I’ve ever had. So far I’ve managed to pawn the dark circles off on training the girls or patrols with them, but Willow seems to know better. In fact I’m not sure why she hasn’t asked me what’s going on.
It isn’t that I can’t sleep. I can. Case in point; I can hardly keep awake during Giles’ daily debriefing meetings. It’s just that he’s always in my dreams. Then I wake up thinking he’s really here only to be let down like a ton of bricks when I realize where I am. The pain of him not being here is worse than the dreams. Since the dreams won’t go away, I refuse to sleep.
Dawn, who knows what’s going on, says my logic is warped. She’s probably right. I should enjoy getting to see him, feel him, and just be with him in my dreams. But it hurts too badly to wake up and have it not continue. Dawn suggested a spell or something to take the dreams away. After being dragged back from the dead by magical means I tend to shy away but if I don’t get some sleep soon I might ask Willow if there is anything she can do anyway.
While I’m on the topic of Spike related miseries: I took the junior group of girls out on a wide patrol last night to work on their vamp tingles. Out of the blue Natasha said she felt something, something strong and almost sexual, a bit like a tingly caress up and down her back. I was a good fifty feet away from her but I felt the same thing. Actually I had felt it for at least ten minuets already; it’s the way Spike always made me feel. I told her to direct us to where the feeling was leading her. So we trooped off behind her. She didn’t find anything, but I know someone was there ’cause she did find a still hot cigarette butt. We looked around for a few more moments, but never did find anything.
It seems awfully odd that a feeling I associate with Spike could be coming from any other evil-undead. I want to just find who/what it is and kill it for making that feeling in me.
Well I guess that will be it for tonight Diary. Off to try and avoid sleep.
Buffy Summers
Aug. 29th, 2006
London, UK
I don’t know what to do. I haven’t slept more than an hour a night in over a month. So far I’ve been able to hide it from almost everyone, but the circles under my eyes are starting to look worse than any black eye I’ve ever had. So far I’ve managed to pawn the dark circles off on training the girls or patrols with them, but Willow seems to know better. In fact I’m not sure why she hasn’t asked me what’s going on.
It isn’t that I can’t sleep. I can. Case in point; I can hardly keep awake during Giles’ daily debriefing meetings. It’s just that he’s always in my dreams. Then I wake up thinking he’s really here only to be let down like a ton of bricks when I realize where I am. The pain of him not being here is worse than the dreams. Since the dreams won’t go away, I refuse to sleep.
Dawn, who knows what’s going on, says my logic is warped. She’s probably right. I should enjoy getting to see him, feel him, and just be with him in my dreams. But it hurts too badly to wake up and have it not continue. Dawn suggested a spell or something to take the dreams away. After being dragged back from the dead by magical means I tend to shy away but if I don’t get some sleep soon I might ask Willow if there is anything she can do anyway.
While I’m on the topic of Spike related miseries: I took the junior group of girls out on a wide patrol last night to work on their vamp tingles. Out of the blue Natasha said she felt something, something strong and almost sexual, a bit like a tingly caress up and down her back. I was a good fifty feet away from her but I felt the same thing. Actually I had felt it for at least ten minuets already; it’s the way Spike always made me feel. I told her to direct us to where the feeling was leading her. So we trooped off behind her. She didn’t find anything, but I know someone was there ’cause she did find a still hot cigarette butt. We looked around for a few more moments, but never did find anything.
It seems awfully odd that a feeling I associate with Spike could be coming from any other evil-undead. I want to just find who/what it is and kill it for making that feeling in me.
Well I guess that will be it for tonight Diary. Off to try and avoid sleep.
Buffy Summers
Aug. 29th, 2006
London, UK
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