The next afternoon Buffy found herself standing in the airport, heart pounding and nerves shot as she waited for Riley to disembark from the plane. There were smiling people all around her, happy shouts of loved ones being reunited, and the lump in her throat grew bigger and bigger.

Then he was there. He’d spotted her and was dodging bodies trying to get to her. She was clasped in a tight hug and he was tipping her face up to meet his. Panicking, she gave him a peck on the lips and wriggled out of his grasp.

“Riley! You’re back!” she said lamely, stating the obvious but not knowing what else to say.

“It’s so good to see you, Buffy,” he said, bending over her and hugging her again. He pulled back and looked at her longingly. “I missed you so much.” He stroked her hair and bent to kiss her again. She offered her cheek and linked their arms together, moving them toward the baggage claim.

“Me, too,” she replied. “How many bags did you check?”

Riley picked up his carry-on from where he’d dropped it by his feet and moved with her. “Just my duffle. So how is everyone?” She thanked lady luck that he was making neutral conversation and babbled like she’d never babbled before, going into great length about her friends’ relationships. She kept talking about this and that, asked him questions about his visit home, and soon they were headed to the taxi stand.

The ride to his apartment seemed to drag. He was pressed close to her, holding her hand in his lap. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, even though she felt his stare. When they finally arrived at his place she was taut and nervous, knowing that the time had come.

Riley had arranged for his new apartment before leaving Sunnydale at the beginning of summer. Most of his things had already been moved in, including his bed, which he appeared to be anxious to get into. With Buffy. When they got out of the cab she noticed a convenience store next door and told him she’d be right back. He tried to tell her that he had condoms, but she literally ran like a speeding bullet, so he went inside to make sure everything was in order.

Buffy entered the store and headed for the frozen treats section. Not knowing what came over her, she grabbed a familiar yellow box, paid for them, and walked back to Riley’s apartment. He was waiting for her and opened the door as she approached.

“I have condoms, Buff.”

She felt her face redden and pulled the box out of the sack. “I thought I’d get you a housewarming gift, since you probably have an empty fridge.”

“Popsicles? Why would you get those?”

“Well, it’s a hot day today, and they make things fun, don’t you think?” She was scrutinizing him how, waiting to see what his reaction would be.

“Actually, I’ve never liked those things. They get all over your hands and clothes, they fall off the stick when you’re almost done, and they leave a horrible taste in your mouth.”

Buffy almost laughed when she heard that. It gave her the impetus to begin her conversation.

“That just goes to show you how different we are.”

“Different? What do you mean by that?”

“Well, for one, I like popsicles and you don’t.”

“And why is that such a big deal?”

“It’s not, i…it’s just that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this summer…”

“Oh God…” Riley moaned, putting his head in his hands. “This isn’t going to end well for me, is it?”

“No, probably not.”

“Why, Buffy? I thought we had something really good going here. I thought we loved each other.”

“And I do, I mean I care about you a lot, but…I think something is missing from our relationship.”

“And how would you know something is missing?”

“Well…because I fnd myself attracted to other men.”

Riley gave a little laugh of relief. “That doesn’t mean something is missing between us. Being attracted to other people is normal in a relationship. You know, like a grass-is-always-greener scenario.” He took the box from her hands and wove their fingers together. “It’s only if you act on your attraction that there’s a problem.” When Buffy looked at the floor, he dropped her hands. “You acted, didn’t you?”

Nodding, she sat on his sofa and tried to hold back the tears. Riley plunked himself down on the other end and sighed heavily.

“I never thought you would do something like that,” he said dejectedly.

“I didn’t either.”

“Was it a one time thing, or…”

“Do you really want to know?”

“What I want to know is if we can move past this, or if it’s totally over.” He turned to her, and took her hand again. “I really love you, Buffy, and I think we make a great team. If you think I need to do something more, or change something, I’ll do it, to make it work. I’ve never met anyone like you, and I won’t ever again. I can help with the slaying and I’m a good man. Tell me what I can do.” He tried to keep the pleading note out of his voice.

“All of that is true. You are a good man, and I didn’t want to hurt you. That’s why we stopped…I mean, I couldn’t do this over the phone. I thought you deserved an explanation, in person.”

“So you’ve been cheating on me and you want to break up with me so you can feel okay about being with your new man.” He stood up and began pacing around the room, trying hard not to lose it and kill the furniture.

“I know it sucks, okay? And I’m sorry Riley. It’s not like I planned this, or went looking for someone else. God knows Spike is the last person I ever thought…” Ooops, flittered through her mind as she prepared for the eruption.

“Spike? You’re leaving me for Spike?” The kitchen table didn’t stand a chance as he brought his fist clear through it and roared. Grabbing a large wooden shard, he straightened up. “I’m going to dust that bastard.”

Buffy stood in front of him. “Don’t, Riley. I was the one who started it.”

He fell to his knees amidst the wreckage and hung his head. “God, Buffy, that’s just…I don’t have the words.” He looked at her, hard, and shook his head. “I feel like I don’t even know who you are.” A tentative smile appeared on his face. “Has Willow been playing with spells again?”

“No, this isn’t a spell.” The little smile disappeared from his face and he shook his head again.

Buffy stood and moved next to him. “I’ve been in denial about who I am for the last 4 years. I never wanted to be the Slayer, and tried to run away from it more than once. I tried hard to do normal things along with my slaying, and that included dating normal guys. Which never worked out. This thing with Spike; I think it’s been brewing for a while. We were never able to kill each other, and then when Willow did her spell last year and we were engaged, I saw a side to him that no one ever gets to see. He’s not just an evil vampire or a soulless demon, much as he wants everyone to think he is.” She carefully sank down on her knees next to him.

“I don’t regret being with you, and things were good. But what I feel for Spike is…well, I just know that I want to be with him. And I’m sorry if I’m hurting you.”

Riley gave her another hard look. “Aren’t you worried that this is going to come back and haunt you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s Spike, Buffy. He’s a vampire. He’s inherently evil and he’s a monster. He’ll hurt you sooner or later.”

“I don’t think he will, but thanks for the warning,” she scoffed, and stood up, brushing table debris from her jeans.

Riley stood with her. “I am hurt. And upset and disappointed and angry. The woman I love, who I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, has dumped me for a vampire she slept with while I was away for a few weeks. And said vampire has been nothing but trouble since I’ve known him. So I’m going to let you know that I think you’re making a terrible mistake, but at least I won’t be around to see the train wreck when it happens.”

“What train wreck? And where will you be?”

He moved away from the rubble of the table and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor. “When I was in Quantico they asked me to come back to Special Ops. They’ve formed a unit of former Initiative men to hunt demons in South America.”

“I can’t believe they want to start that up again,” she groaned.

“This is strictly a search and destroy mission. No capturing, no experiments. I turned them down, but they left the offer on the table.” He looked up, and clasped his hands between his knees. “There’s nothing here for me if we’re not together, so I’m going to go.” He laughed ruefully and gestured towards his duffel. “At least I won’t have to pack again.”

Buffy went to him again and touched his shoulder gently. “I’m sorry.”

Riley placed his hand on top of hers. “I know, Buffy. I’m not happy about this, but thank you for being honest with me.”

She started for the door, knowing that she’d done what she needed to do. “When will you be going?”

“Tomorrow, I guess. I’ll need to call them and make arrangements.”

“Oh. Then I guess…well, I guess this is where I say goodbye.”

“Yeah,” Riley agreed, “I guess it is.”

“I hope you stay safe in South America.”

“And I hope you stay safe on the Hellmouth.”

She opened the door and took a step outside but turned to face him one last time. “Just remember Riley, not all demons are bad or evil.”

He nodded. “Goodbye, Buffy.” She shut the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief. Then she ran like hell to the graveyard.

^^^^^^^^

Spike was pacing. And smoking. A lot. Thank goodness he’d stashed a carton of smokes in his hidey hole before the attack. He’d already gone through three packs since awaking earlier, not having gotten much sleep due to his anxiety over Buffy and Private Joker. He wanted to believe she’d choose him, and she’d said as much. But his luck in love was not…lucky. He’d been led on and dumped before, but his head kept telling him that Buffy wasn’t like the others. She’d come to his aid, invited him into her home, and cared for him. She’d been honest from the get-go and so he should have nothing to worry about. But he couldn’t help it.

And of course his TV had fallen victim to the vandals that trashed his place, so he had nothing but his thoughts and books to keep him company. He’d read everything three times over at least, and couldn’t concentrate on the page anyway, so he paced. And smoked.

Just as he was getting ready to pull his hair out, she arrived on his doorstep. Winded and red-faced from running, she still looked beautiful as she walked into his crypt. He was afraid to ask her what had happened, and he was afraid to move. When she jumped into his arms he staggered backwards in relief, bracing his back against the wall. He was getting ready to kiss her when his senses told him something was off. He then felt her trembling and heard the snuffles. She was crying!

“Here now, what’s this?” he said, finding his voice at last.

“I did it,” she managed to croak. “I broke up with Riley!”

“Why the tears, luv?” he asked carefully.

“I thought it would be easy, but it wasn’t,” she sobbed, burrowing into his chest. Spike didn’t know what to do or say, so he just held her and stroked her hair. After a few awkward moments she pulled away, wiping her tears on her sleeves.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear about this, but I need to say it, okay?”

He nodded dumbly, wanting to be good for her. Needing to be the best he could be so she wouldn’t regret her choice.

“There was really nothing wrong with our relationship. For him, this came out of the blue, and to make it worse, I told him who I’d been with.”

Spike hissed and drew back. “So when can I expect the pitchforks and torches?”

“He’s not going to come after you. He’s leaving for South America to rejoin the military.”

“He hates me, luv. How do you know he won’t leave you a parting gift of my ashes?”

“I think he just wants to get out of here as fast as possible. I told him the truth; that I wanted to be with you, and that I initiated the affair. You can’t get more blunt than that.”

Spike felt some of the tension ease, but there was still something he needed to know.
“But why do you want to be with me, Slayer? We’ve been dancing around this for days. You dumped a perfectly good man, and I’m pretty sure it’s not just for the great sex.”

“The sex is pretty great, isn’t it?” she said with a blush. “But I’ll tell you what I told him. Since a weird old man wearing tweed came to me when I was 15 and told me about vampires and my destiny to slay them, I’ve tried to stay as normal as I could. I tried twice to run away from my calling but I couldn’t. And I involved my friends and family, went dancing at the Bronze, enrolled in college, and tried to date regular guys. Breaking up with Riley is like me shutting the door on that part of my life.

“When we did that spell to defeat Adam, we called upon the essence of the First Slayer. She invaded our dreams that night, and no one knows, but you now, that she keeps popping up in mine. I get visions on a regular basis of running naked into a field, rolling in the mud, and hunting down monsters. It’s very primal.”

Spike wanted to make a joke, but she was being so serious and telling him so much, so instead he replied, “Like a predator.”

“Exactly. And I think I’m ready to explore that side of me. Which I could never do with Riley, or any other human.”

“You need someone who’s as strong as you are.”

“And Riley kind of was, but it was artificial. He fought demons, but wasn’t born to that world. And you and I? We’re…”

“We’re what, luv?”

“We’re otherworldly. I…I think we fit together. And also, I think this thing between us is something that has been building for a while. All those fights we had and we’re both still here, Willow’s spell…”

“What about that spell?”

“I didn’t want to admit it, but I realized there was more to you than being an evil bloodsucker.”

“An evil bloodsucker? You wound me, Slayer,” he said with a smirk.

She tapped him lightly on the chest, then led them over to the bed and drew him down to sit with her. “Well, it’s true. Anyway, all of a sudden we were in love and I could feel how powerful your love was. You’d been with Dru for a century and were only apart because of her. That love was given to me during the spell and it made me feel like I could stand up against anything, because you were by my side.”

She flopped down on the bed, clearly spent. “And I’ve been talking for way too long now.” She gestured towards him. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re right on all counts.”

“I spill my guts and Mr. Talky guy who usually can’t shut up just tells me I’m right?”

“Can think of better things to do with my mouth than talk.”

“Show me,” she said, her voice husky as she leaned up on her elbows.

And he did.

^^^^^^^^

The following days were not easy. They correctly anticipated the reactions of the Scooby Gang, which were negative on the parts of Giles and Xander, and to some extent Willow, who knew she would be either vamped or dead if not for the chip in Spike’s head. But she also saw how happy her friend was, and being in an unconventional relationship herself, had some sympathy for the new couple.

Anya, of course, wished them happy orgasms, and talked at length about vampire stamina and strength, knowing Buffy and Spike were well-matched.

Tara was the surprise. The quiet witch, with her ability to read auras, told the group quietly that Buffy and Spike were simply suited for each other, and left it at that. What she did not mention was that she’d seen Spike’s aura change over the past few weeks. At the height of the Adam debacle, it was dark and murky, indicating his evil intent to cause them harm. It was much lighter now; clearly he was happy with Buffy and wanted to please her.

On the other hand, Buffy’s was darkening slightly. When Buffy had told them that she and Spike were a couple, she had also mentioned her desire to explore the origins of her power, and disclosed the visions she’d been having of the First Slayer. Though it had never been discussed amongst them, Tara suspected that the source of the Slayer power was demonic in nature. The darkening of Buffy’s aura supported that theory, but it was neither evil nor depressing. It was simply the nature of a being who hunts and kills others, even if it was for the good of humanity.

Eventually the entire group did see the positive effect the Slayer and vampire had on each other. Buffy was efficient in the field and happy at home. Spike was mostly tolerable, but they were beginning to see his prickliness was just a shield.

And on hot summer nights, when popsicles were passed around as a post-slaying treat, Buffy and Spike would share a secret smile and disappear faster than the dust particles of a staked vampire.