Author’s Notes: Huge thanks to Kar for all her beta work and the banners. Thanks to my readers and reviewers. And of course, thank you Shan for setting up such a great challenge to get me inspired. This has been such fun thanks to all of you.

Epilogue

Spike didn't look up right away when she marched in. He was almost done packing and he was still sore at her. After being gone so long he'd expected a bit of anger and pouting on the subject. What he hadn't expected was for her first reaction to be outright rejection.

Though to be fair, that hadn't been her first reaction. No, first Buffy had kissed him and held him, and he'd been so awash with relief that he hadn't been at all prepared for her to go on the offensive. Over the soul, of all sodding things.

"You're packing?"

Her voice sounded so sad he could hardly bear it.

"Moving," he replied as gruffly as he could manage.

When he looked up she was staring at him with wide, wet eyes. "Were you even going to tell me, or were you just going to disappear again?"

Oh Christ. He'd hurt her. Which had been distasteful enough in the past but now made him want to throw himself at her feet and beg forgiveness. But the more he kept those feelings under wraps, the more likely the Slayer was to savvy that he was still himself.

"Just across town, Slayer. Getting myself a place above ground is all."

"Oh." She still looked eight kinds of confused but at least she no longer looked like waterworks were imminent. "Do you need some help?" she asked hesitantly.

He tossed a bag of burba weed in a box and shrugged. "Do as you like."

Buffy snorted. "Fine. Whatever, William. You do what you want too then." She turned on her heel and stalked toward the door. Under her breath, so low even vampire hearing almost missed it, she muttered, "Why do I listen to Dawn? 'He's the same. He still loves you'. Right."

He lunged after her and caught her arm before she could fling the door open. The action sent them both toppling and she landed across him with an oof. Spike couldn't help himself and a laugh escaped. For a moment Buffy gave him dagger eyes, but then she let her head rest against his chest, so he brought his hand up to stroke gratefully through her hair.

He pulled at her head gently so that she'd look him in the eyes. "Of course I still love you. Doesn't make me a different person, you know."

"But it does," she insisted. "You remember Spike, but you're not him. Angel--"

He abandoned her hair to place his fingers over her mouth. "You forget, love, or maybe you just don't realize, was a century between the vampire you met and the vampire who was cursed. Change wasn't so startling when it first happened."

"You don't know that," she retorted.

He gave her a look. "Course I do. I was there, Buffy."

"You... were... what?" She looked utterly perplexed. "What do you mean you were there?"

Spike sighed. "When the gypsies cursed him, we were all together then, the four of us. Until Darla abandoned him."

Buffy blinked. "Darla abandoned him? You mean he went back to Darla after he got all soul-cursed?"

So Angel had left out a few key pieces of the story. He could see as how Angel wouldn’t have been eager to tell the Slayer he'd gone skittering back to his Sire for comfort. Would have been much better for him to let the girl think he immediately started saving the world for Christmas and puppies.

"Yes," he told her. "And, I came back to you, only I sought my soul."

She cupped his face with one hand. "Why?"

He closed his eyes and turned in her grip to kiss the palm of her hand. "Just something I had to do. Couldn't... couldn't manage without it anymore." It was the closest answer he could find to the truth. In fact he sometimes wondered what had possessed him to do such a fool thing. Especially when he'd been alone during the endless days in the cave, reliving his every killing in gruesome Technicolor.

"But you have to be different. I mean, it has to feel different--"

He nodded. "Soul changes things, yeah. But not the way you think. Doesn't replace anything. Just makes me more."

"More what?"

More like a man he wanted to tell her, but didn't. “More myself.”

Buffy sighed and pressed one quick kiss against his lips. "Vague much? Come on, I'll help you move your stuff."

He let her pull him to his feet. Was still disconcerting sometimes, the way such a little slip of a girl could haul him around. Sexy as hell, too. He'd not forgotten that power, even if his yen to hide her from the world and bedeck her with pearls had increased substantially.

"And, then maybe we could get some dinner or something."

He gave her the eyebrow. "You asking me for a date, pet?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Spike. You can call it that if it makes you happy."

He saw a panic settle over her features at the word. "It's not like that, Buffy. Don't have to be worried about making me happy."

Happy, as more than a momentary circumstance, seemed an unlikely prospect since he'd returned to Sunnydale. Harris in the ground, Red under some sort of Council house arrest, Anya a little shell who could barely mange to work a register. Bit grown like a weed into a woman, taking the burden off Demon Girl. So not all the changes were so terrible.

Buffy absorbed his pronouncement and smirked at him. Held out her hand and let him twine his fingers with her. "Come on. You know you're hungry for something all rare and juicy."

“Putting yourself on the menu then, pet?”

She glared at him, but he could see the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Well, I guess you are still Spike after all.”

He knew things were far from settled, but he reckoned it was a good start.


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No promises on when the sequel will start showing up. I need to plan it so it doesn’t become one of those languishing unfinished things. I hope this cleared up a few things for folks and that Buffy’s reaction in the last chapter makes a little more sense now. Please let me know! Thank you all again for reading.