Chapter 1: Problems

Walking into the cemetery, Buffy clutched the stake in her hand. Her head was pounding, causing her to feel sick. She had had this feeling for a few weeks now, however she refused to tell anyone, just like she refused to give up patrolling. Slayers didn’t get sick; it was as simple as that. Her headache was probably caused from being ripped out of heaven anyway.

She wished that Giles would have come back from England sooner; no doubt he could have told her what was wrong. But telling him would mean admitting where she had been and she couldn’t do that to anyone. Anyone except Spike it seemed. Buffy was unsure what had caused her to confess to Spike that afternoon in the alley, but something had told her she needed to tell someone—she couldn’t keep it all bottled up inside. Yet funnily enough, ever since she had told Spike, that’s exactly what she had done, she’d kept everything bottled up inside. She didn’t share anything with anyone anymore.

Each day she tried to get back to normal, yet each day away from where she had been was making it harder and harder.

Clutching the stake tighter, she tried to ignore the pounding in her head and the dizziness that seemed to surround her, and carried on into the cemetery determined to find some baddie to take her frustration and pent up feelings out on.
*********
Spike watched the Slayer from on top of his crypt as she wandered aimlessly into the cemetery. Stopping just below him she placed her hand to her temple and closed her eyes.

He knew something was wrong with her, something didn’t smell right, and she hadn’t even noticed that he was sat here.

Hearing a rustling behind her, he saw her head suddenly snap up as she turned to face the newly risen vampire. He watched as her expression hardened; he loved watching her fight. Her moves were always so fluid and graceful.

However things seemed different this evening. Now her moves seemed less graceful and more clumsy, her targets weren’t hitting their marks, she was barely able to miss the blows that were sent her way. Something was definitely wrong with her tonight; she couldn’t even defend herself against a fledgling.

Jumping down from the crypt roof and landing gracefully on his feet, he approached Buffy from behind. Still however she made no move to show that she knew he was there. As he came to stand next to her, he flinched as he watched her take a particularly brutal hit to her chin, causing her to stagger backwards.

In the blink of an eye everything changed. Buffy’s knees gave way, causing her to fall to the broken cemetery dirt. Spike darted forward with all the speed a vampire could muster and caught her just before she hit the ground, and gently laid her on her back. The new vampire just stood there in shock, staring at the fallen girl. Amazed that he could have done such a thing.

Standing up, Spike picked up the stake that was lying next to Buffy’s still form and advanced towards the stunned vampire.

Giving him a swift kick to the stomach followed by a brutal punch to the nose, the vampire flew backwards where his back hit a tombstone and he sank to the floor. Twirling the stake between his fingers, he slowly walked up to the dazed vampire.

“You know you’re doing something wrong, mate, when even your own kind wants you dead.”

He then thrust his stake into the vampire’s unbeating heart before he even had chance to reply. Turning his back on the not fully disintegrated form, Spike rushed over to Buffy’s side.

The Slayer scared him witless as she now lay on the ground having some form of seizure.

Her eyes were shut and her arms and legs seemed to be flailing about. She seemed to be in pain, but Spike didn’t know how to help. Being careful to mind her legs, which he knew could be quite lethal when they wanted to be, he reached out and took hold of her hand in his own.

“Love? Where’s it hurt? I can’t help you unless you tell me. Come on, pet.”

Suddenly her body went limp again, a single tear slipped down her check. Slipping an arm around her neck and another under her legs, he lifted her small frame up, cradling her against his body. Just as he was about to stand, Buffy made a small movement. If he hadn’t been holding her, Spike probably would have missed it. Turning her head ever so slightly to the left, Buffy threw up on to the grass right next to her arm, before suddenly going limp again in his arms.

Realising something was seriously wrong, he carefully picked up his precious slayer and started carrying her to Sunnydale Hospital. Someone would have to look at her and soon.


******
Spike paced outside the waiting room. When he had arrived at the hospital he had got someone to see Buffy straight away. Watching her lay on the gurney so limp and looking so small had broken his heart. As she was wheeled away to where he could no longer be by her side, he had gone and used the phone to call the rest of the scoobies. He knew they would all be at the magic box. And no doubt rushing in to blame him for her being in hospital!

So now he stood, wearing a groove outside the room. As soon as the Scoobies had arrived, demanding to know what had happened and what he had done, they had then made it quite clear that he wasn’t welcome there. Not that he could have bared to stand in the same room as their accusing glares anyway. However, refusing to be too far from Buffy, he had simple taken up residence outside of the waiting room.

As he saw the doctor approach, he stood still and held his breath, not that he needed to breathe anyway. However the doctor walked right past him and into the waiting room.

Closing the door behind him as he entered the room, the doctor turned to face the scoobies, leaving Spike looking at the door.

Stepping up to the door he placed his ear against the wood and used his enhanced hearing to hear what the doctor was telling the rest of them.

“I’m afraid the news with Miss Summers doesn’t seem very promising. She is with another doctor at the moment, so I am afraid that she can’t see anyone just yet. It appears that she has suffered from a seizure, although I am also worried about the slight bruising on her chin. Is Miss Summers in any way in an abusive relationship?”

Spike snorted at that one. Her whole lifestyle was one abusive relationship. From inside the room, Spike heard Giles speak up.

“No Doctor, I can assure you that Buffy isn’t in any danger at home or otherwise. I can only assume she got the bruise when she collapsed.”

“Be that as it may, I would still like to keep her in over night just to make sure. We have performed a few basic tests and are waiting for the results on those, however there are some more conclusive tests that I would like to run just to make sure.”

Once again Spike heard Giles speak up. It appeared that he was the spokesman for the group; no doubt the doctor thought that this was her father.

“Do you have any idea as to what may have caused the seizure, Doctor?”

“It’s too early to say at the moment. Yet it could simply be that she was dehydrated, however it could also be something more serious. I really can’t make any assurances at the moment. We are going to keep her in overnight and run some more tests. We should have the results by the morning. I suggest that you all go home and get some rest; there is nothing you can do here now. Miss Summers will be taken care of, you don’t need to worry. You can come and see her in the morning. She’s in ward four however…”

Spike didn’t wait to hear what else the doctor had to say. Striding over to the elevator, he pressed the up button, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the doors to close.

As the doors re-opened, a disjointed recorded voice announced he was on floor two. Walking over to ward four’s reception desk, he carefully checked that no one was around before leaning over and checking which room Buffy was in.

As he entered the room, Buffy seemed to be sleeping. Her small frame seemed to be hooked up to numerous different machines, each making its own little humming sound. The noise was deafening to his oversensitive senses.

Deciding that she needed sleep, Spike turned and reached for the door handle. Just as his fingers wrapped around it, he heard Buffy call to him. Her voice sent goose bumps down his back at how weak she sounded.

“Spike?”

Turning round he saw her looking at him through hooded eyes, her head supported on the pillows.

“Yeah, pet. I’m here.” Edging closer to her, he looked down at her small body that seemed to be drowning in the large bed.

“Where is everyone, Spike?”

“Everyone’s downstairs, pet.” Spike kept his voice low as he talked to her. “I wasn’t welcome down there. Doctor told your watcher they couldn’t see you till morning. I think they are all gonna go home to rest and come back for you in the morning.”

Buffy looked at him with sad eyes. “Do they know what’s wrong with me, Spike?”

Spike looked into her eyes and could see the pain reflected back in them. She really didn’t know what was happening. “I don’t think the doctors know yet. They said they had done some tests.”

“Yeah, they took some blood.”

Spike chuckled. “They better be bloody careful with it. They don’t know how lucky they are to have such sweet nectar within their grasp.”

“Ewww, Spike, that’s gross. Is that all you think about?” A brief smile lit up her face.

“Can't help it, love. Vampire.” He pointed to himself, causing her to chuckle slightly. “Anyway, it’s not the only thing I think about. I could show you all the other nasty things I think of if you want.” He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis, causing Buffy to blush brightly.

“Spike!”

“Well, pet, I best let you get some rest. I just wanted to check you were ok.”

Turning his back to her, he headed to the door again.

“Spike?” Turning to face her, Buffy looked nervously down at the bedding. “Would you stay please?” When he didn’t answer she cast her eyes up and made eye contact with him.

Seeing the fear shining in her eyes, he knew he couldn’t refuse.

“Ok, love, just don’t go thinking you can be making a regular deal out of this.”

“Cross my heart, Spike.”

Taking off his duster, he gently laid it over the end of the bed. He then went and sat in the orange chair next to her bed, feeling a little awkward and unsure of what he should be doing.

After a moment of silence, Buffy carefully rolled onto her side to look at Spike.

“Spike, what do you think’s wrong with me?”

“I don’t honestly know. Wish I could tell you, love, but I can’t.”

“Do you think it has something to do with where I was?” Her voice was a quite whisper, Spike understood why Buffy didn't want people in the hospital to hear her talk of when she was in heaven, they would just think she was crazy.

Tears started to well in her eyes as she remembered her time in heaven—it was something she just couldn’t get out of her head no matter how hard she tried.

“I don’t know. The only people who could probably tell you are the people you aren’t telling.”

“I know. I just can’t tell them. They can’t know where I was, they can’t.” Fresh tears started to run down her face. “They are going to take me for a CT scan tomorrow. That’s what my mother had, Spike. What if it’s something serious.” her face showed the fear she was trying desperately to hide, she was so scared that she could be going through what her mother went through.

“Whatever it is, love, we’ll deal. Now you should get some sleep. I’ll stay if you want me to.”

“Thank you.” Turning over onto her other side, putting her back to the only vampire she’d ever semi-trusted, Buffy closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Spike listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat as it slowed and she relaxed and fell asleep. He stayed close by her side for the rest of the night. Never once leaving her alone.

***
When the morning nurse arrived into the room to check on Buffy’s progress, she was shocked to see Spike sleeping next to her bed, holding her hand tightly in his.

Spike stirred from his sleep when he heard someone enter the room. Seeing the nurse standing there, Spike told her to be quiet before gesturing to the girl sleeping soundly next to him.

In a hushed whisper, the nurse spoke to him. “Sir, what are you doing here? Miss Summers isn’t allowed visitors yet, and even if she was, this certainly isn’t visiting hour. I’m afraid, Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Spike looked at the nurse. She was short, just barely over five feet and she had brown frizzy hair. The nametag she wore announced her as ‘Tina’.

“Look, love, Buffy asked me to stay here, and until she tells me to leave, which knowing Buffy could be bloody well soon, I’m not going anywhere. Do you think I want her to wake up on her own after I promised to be here?” With that said, Spike turned his attention back to Buffy.

Tina stood there stunned to the spot. She had never been talked back to before. Usually when she told people to leave they just did, no questions asked.

“Well, Sir, are you a relation then?” Tina was curious now as to whom this man actually was.

“No.” Spike didn’t even look up as he answered her.

“What are you then?”

“Well, I’m a … umm… that is I’m… umm…I’m…” Spike looked up at Tina as he tried to find a suitable answer for what he and Buffy were. He couldn’t rightly tell her that they where mortal enemies, yet recently he had realised that he loved her, and probably always had, but then she had done what she did best and had died saving the world, and it had torn him apart when she left him behind, could he?

“He’s my friend,” came a groggy voice from next to him.

Looking over he saw Buffy’s eyes flutter open. It made Spike’s unbeating heart swell to hear her call him a friend.

Quickly adjusting to the surprise of being called a friend, he turned back to Tina. “Well then, ‘Tina,’ is there a reason you’re here, or is it just to piss me off?”

Tina was starting to find the gentleman sitting with Miss Summers to be quite rude, but she bit her tongue. She knew she wasn’t supposed to say anything to the patient’s friends and family She knew the night shift nurses must have seen him throughout the night as he can't have gone unnoticed. If they where willing to let him stay then she would too. She later learned for the other nurses how the Miss Summers had whimpered and cried for the man comforting her the entire night. “Actually, I came to prep Miss Summers for her CT scan.”

Spike heard Buffy’s heartbeat pick up before the machines picked it up. Leaning over he held her hand tightly.

“Shhh, Love, it’ll be ok. It’ll be over quickly and they’ll be able to see what’s wrong with you, what’s making you ill and then be able to make you all better again.”

Tina was shocked to see such a gentle side in a man who had appeared to be so rough.

Stepping to the side, Spike didn’t let go of her hand as he let Tina prepare Buffy.

A little while later, Tina left them alone again, and Spike sat back down in the little chair.

“Do you want me to go downstairs and get Watcher Boy? I’m sure you’d rather have him here with you than me.” Spike tried not to sound to upset as he said it.

“No!” Buffy gripped onto his hand tightly, unaware of the sound of bones cracking, causing Spike to wince. “Don’t leave me, Spike. I can’t face them yet. They can’t know.” Tears surfaced again in her large green, glassy eyes.

Spike knew, however, that she wasn’t just talking about where she had been. “How long has this been going on, pet?”

“Been having them since I was brought back.” Buffy had considered playing coy and acting like she didn’t know what he was talking about, but she knew he’d meant the headaches and the seizures, and she seemed to be unable to bring herself to lie, to Spike of all people.

“Why didn’t you tell someone, Buffy?” He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice that she hadn’t told him, yet still some managed to creep its way in.

All Buffy did in response to Spike’s question was hang her head in shame.

“I don’t know, Spike. I guess I didn’t want to accept that I am really back. I don’t belong here, that’s what this is telling me. It can’t mean anything good, can it?” Fresh tears appeared in her eyes.

“You listen to me, Buffy Summers. You do belong here. We are going to find out what’s wrong and get you out of here before you know it. You’ll be back to playing Kick the Spike before you can blink, I promise.”

Buffy gave Spike a wobbly smile, however it failed to reach her eyes, they held such sadness and portrayed the horrors she had seen in her short life. That haunted look just made Spike want to comfort her in any way she would allow.

“Look, Buffy…” Just as he was about to say something, Tina walked back into the room, pushing a wheel chair in front of her. She seemed oblivious to the tense atmosphere around her, the conversation she had managed to just abruptly stop. Smiling at Buffy she said in a cheery voice, “Ok, Miss Summers. They are waiting for you down in radiology.” Smiling all the while, as though this was something Buffy should be looking forward to – instead of dreading with a gut wrenching fear as she was.

Carefully Tina detached the drip in Buffy’s arm and helped her to sit in the wheelchair, even though it was clear Buffy had no real need for the help.

“Now Miss Summers, your family are all waiting for you downstairs – would you like to see them before you go for the scan?”

“They are not my family.” She felt detached from everyone.

Buffy’s face was set in grim determination as she looked at the door, as though willing it to open by the sheer force of her mind.

“Ok then. Miss Summers, I am afraid your friend will have to stay here. Visitors aren’t allowed.”

Buffy head spun round so quickly to look at Spike, her eye suddenly full of fear again.
“Don’t worry, love, I’ll wait here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you get back, you won’t be gone long at all, I promise.” He reached over and gave her hand one last squeeze.

Slowly nodding, Buffy turned round to face forward again.

Taking the handles, Tina led her away towards the lift.

Spike watched her until the lift doors shut, obstructing his view of her. He then went and sat on the bed, taking in her sent that filled the room. Looking at the taupe walls that surrounded him, Spike sat patiently and waited for her to return to him. Watching as the hands on the clock slowly moved round with a dull tick as he waited and waited, unaware of what they where finding down in radiology.

TBC…..