This is not an actual update. Sorry to anyone who was expecting one, but that won't come until Tuesday. It will not, however, be on this site.

It saddens me to say I will, as of today, be leaving the Bloodshedverse. It's a decision that I've struggled with, but in the end, I feel it is something that I need to do. The site I once loved is gone. What's left in its place is quickly becoming the snobbish, elitist site BSV used to be called. Then, I defended the site fully. Now, I cannot.

As most of you are probably aware, the administration of BSV has recently changed hands. Since then, the policies behind deciding what is "good enough" for the site have become something I cannot and will not support. The way I have seen new authors treated appalls me. Things have been said that I don't feel should be said to anyone. There is a difference between being diligent about site quality and being cruel and condescending, and apparently, the current BSV mods do not recognize it.

This fandom is, in my opinion, struggling. With the shows both over, getting new authors to join and old authors to stay is becoming an ongoing issue. Without fresh blood, so to speak, this fandom will, eventually, die out. Because of this, I feel that we owe it to ourselves to encourage new writers to the best of our abilities. This cannot be done by ripping them to shreds and informing them they are not good enough in a cruel, uncaring manner. I have seen first hand the sort of emails that have been going out to new writers, and I have been shocked. Never would I speak to someone like that, and I will not post at a site that would allow such emails to be sent.

Writing is difficult, and it is hard to find your voice. Very few of us established writers, looking back, can be completely proud of our first attempts at fanfiction. However, with patience, time, and a warm, embracing fandom, new writers can grow into something else. When their first attempts are coldly cut down, this will not happen.

Furthermore, no writer in the fandom is perfect. For a "select" group of authors who have, quite frankly, their own problems with writing, as we all do, to hold themselves above the rest and declare themselves not only better than others but in a position to dictate what is and isn't "good enough," is ridiculous. Yes, there should be a standard. Grammar rules should be followed to a reasonable extent and the fic itself should be readable. However, snobbish declarations of what is and isn't "good enough for the 'verse" is going too far, and isn't something I will support.

Fanfiction is a hobby. None of us are professionals and none of us should be expected to be. When fanfiction becomes a source of stress and anxiety in someone's life, something is very, very wrong. I'm sure this posting will be controversial, but as someone who has tried in the past to stay out of fandom politics, I can stay quiet no longer. I feel that something fundamentally wrong is occurring on this site, and I won't be a part of it. I will continue to write and post my fics on other archives, this fic included, but I will no longer post or read at the Bloodshedverse. I consider myself an author with integrity, and after talking with several people and seeing everything that has been going on here, I feel I cannot continue to be such and patronize this website.

I'm sorry to any of my readers who this will inconvenience. As I stated, I will continue to regularly update this fic, only elsewhere. As of now, it will be updated on the Spuffy Realm, Buffy/Spike Central, aff.net, and my personal website, Blood and Satin. If you are unfamiliar with those sites and would like a link, feel free to email me, and I will provide you with one. Furthermore, I have an updates mailing list anyone over the age of eighteen is free to join. My readers were what took me a few days to consider the decision since I hate to abandon any of you, but this entire situation was bothering me so much, I feel I need to distance myself from the website now.

So long, BSV.

~Addie Logan
11/5/06