Note - due to popular outcry, I added back in Tara's response to Willow's bad behavior, which makes this somewhat of an uber-chapter. Thanks to all who clamored. Tart


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Chapter 6 - Shall I Come In?


Would Giles never leave? He was harder to root out than a burrowing crotnef demon.

An hour ago, he’d launched into the whole boring run down on ryzarks in the Western hemisphere. How mean they were, how they ate small pets and the occasional human, how they attacked anything that moved, how they hurled poison spit, how they grew spare heads if you didn’t lop the first head off just right and hurled even more poison spit, how their skin had green and cream-colored striped scales.

Big snore.

Spike gave up hope of getting any share of Joyce’s Glenfiddich and fell asleep halfway through the lecture, so he was no help in relieving the boredom that was Giles.

No matter how boring Giles was, Buffy wasn’t about to leave before he did. She didn’t want any repeat of the Band Candy Episode, especially the handcuffs part. And, she didn’t want Giles having any private conversations with her mother about this baby-haveage. Not to mention, she felt she deserved some quality sniffling and crying time alone with Mom and Spike over the baby and how much money her mother was going to let her have for a whole new wardrobe.

After an interminable hour and nineteen minutes, Giles got up to leave.

“Thank you again for your charming hospitality, Joyce. I appreciate you going to the trouble to make tea for me the old-fashioned way.”

Worse and worse, Giles had her mother fussing about the kitchen with that medieval tea routine he insisted on performing even though he had a perfectly good microwave.

Joyce smiled and held out her hand. “It was my pleasure, Rupert. It’s so nice to spend time with someone who appreciates the finer things.”

“Like that scotch Giles was lapping up like a cat,” Buffy said.

After another five minutes, Giles discovered he hadn’t brought an overcoat, which was no surprise to Buffy since it was 85 degrees outside. He spent another ten minutes giving Buffy instructions.

“Buffy, I’ll expect you to report to the Magic Box tomorrow afternoon immediately after school so we can discuss your situation.”

Buffy frowned. “It’s not a situation, it’s a baby.”

“Er, of course, a baby. We need to research a number of issues - Spike, the Initiative, vampires, babies, Slayers, prophecies and a couple dozen other related topics. Then, we can discuss that bite mark on your neck and how I’m going to explain to Quentin Travers that my Slayer is pregnant with a vampire.”

For a Watcher, who was supposedly all up on the what’s the what about vampires and their bitey habits, Giles could be remarkably obtuse about bite marks.

Buffy yawned and Giles finally got the hint.

Spike enjoyed his pleasant nap while Buffy was getting rid of Giles. His fingers twitched, his fangs were out and he had a hard-on, which meant he was dreaming about hunting, sucking blood and having sex.

As soon as Joyce closed the door behind Giles, Buffy grabbed Spike’s hand and jerked him out of his chair. Buffy didn’t think her mother was quite ready to witness a full-blown vampire dream. Especially the part where Spike woke up and wanted to play Big Bad Bites Goldilocks.

“It’s late, Mom. We’ve got to patrol.”

Joyce stepped in front of the door and blocked their exit. “Not so fast, Buffy. We have a few things to talk about. Into the kitchen. Both of you.”

Buffy sat down at the island and propped her head in her hands and waited for the blow up. This was more like it.

Mom fixed hot chocolate with little marshmallows. She was not smiling, not even at Spike who was a guest and Mom’s favorite.

“I’m disappointed, Buffy. You’ve acted in a very immature way. I’d hoped going to college and assuming some adult responsibilities would help you grow up, but it hasn’t.”

Buffy pouted. This wasn’t going the way she’d planned. Where was the crying? Where was the shouting? She didn’t want to hear Calm In-Control Mom. She wanted hysteria and blubbering.

“Mom, I was careful. The Initiative had this control box that made me and Spike …”

“I don’t want to hear any of your fantastic stories. This is nothing but a replay of the time you burned down the gymnasium at your high school in Los Angeles. Lies and evasions and make believe.”

“Did you really burn down two high schools?” Spike asked. His voice was filled with admiration for his girl.

“No, I blew up the second one and it burned down on its own.”

Spike hugged Buffy and kissed her lips with a loud smack. Buffy giggled.

Joyce glared at the two of them.

“Spike, don’t think for a minute I don’t hold you equally responsible,” Joyce said firmly. “But, this is no time for recriminations and finger pointing. You and Buffy have to decide what you’re going to do about raising your baby.”

Spike cringed under the glare of Mum Aggro and went back to stirring around the marshmallow goo in his cup.

“Do?” Buffy asked. What was there to do? You went to the doctor a few times and got fat and then the baby came and it hurt like hell. Oh, and you mega-shopped for cute outfits and stuff for the baby. Oh, yes. And, talked Mom into babysitting whenever Spike wanted to take her out dancing.

“You know how I feel about unwed mothers, Buffy. Babies need two parents. You should understand better than anyone, considering the way your father behaved. I expect you and Spike to get married, Spike to go to work and for you both to raise my grandchild in a proper home.”

Spike opened and closed his mouth like words were caught in his throat and couldn’t escape. He fainted.

***

“You remember a few months ago,” Willow said, “when Spike asked me to hack into the Initiative computer?”

“I’ll never forget that. It was our first big spell together,” Tara said. She smiled her sweet lopsided smile that always made Willow feel loved no matter what trouble she’d gotten into.

“More like the latest spell Willow messed up, only this time I had help from Spike. Wait till I get my hands on him. I’m going to choke him with my own witchy fingers, without even any magics to help me.”

Tara looked at Willow expectantly.

“Sorry, Spike has a way of distracting people. Buffy especially. Professor Walsh found out that we hacked into the government’s computer and threatened to send you and me to prison until the next Ice Age if I didn’t help her.”

“Okay, you found my Total Panic Button. A twenty-year prison term. No wonder you didn’t want to talk about it. What did Walsh want you to do?”

Willow hung her head. Tara was not going to approve of what she did or her lies by omission to Buffy.

“Walsh gave me this weird box of Vampyro condoms. They’re black, French ticklers and their motto is Vampires Always Get Invited In.”

Tara curled her lip. “You mean invited in … ewww?”

“Yeah. Walsh said I had to get Buffy to use the condoms when she was having sex with Spike. Which by the way, I didn’t even know that Buffy was having sex with Spike again, or still, or whatever, until Professor Walsh told me. Walsh said if I didn’t cooperate and get Buffy to use the condoms, she’d have us arrested and sent to prison.”

“Not getting the problem, sweetie. So what if Buffy used condoms when she was having sex with Spike as long as she wanted to? Have sex I mean.”

“Not just any condoms. Buffy had to use the Vampyro Always Invited In, Blah Blah Blah condoms. Or, technically, Spike had to use them. I guess Spike was the User and Buffy was the Usee.”

“Willow?”

“There had to be something wrong or weird about them. I knew there was something wrong with the condoms, but I left them on Buffy’s nightstand. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the box was gone. Buffy must have taken them.”

Tara crumpled up her forehead. “Did you talk to Buffy later? Did you explain what happened?”

Willow shook her head. How could she admit out loud she’d failed her best friend?

“I won’t say this wasn’t bad, Willow. It was. You need to talk to Buffy right away.”

How much could she stand? First, she betrayed her best friend, then Tara was all understanding and sympathetic, which only made Willow feel more guilty. Tara should have been angry. Then, Willow could have worked up some self-righteous defense and pretended the whole thing wasn’t entirely her fault.

“I can’t talk to Buffy.”

“Why not?”

“It’s too late. She took the box of condoms three weeks ago. And, I think she’s pregnant. She took five pregnancy tests this morning. I saw the junk in the trash tonight when I went back to our room to pick up some books. All the tips on the sticks were pink.”

“Five?”

“Buffy obsesses sometimes,” Willow said.

Tara folded her hands together and put on her Disappointed in My Girlfriend Face.

“It’s not too late for one thing.”

“What? Buffy’s pregnant. She’s fulfilled Walsh’s vampire mating program. Baby vampire is on the way. It’s too late to prevent that.”

Tara squeezed Willow’s hand. “It’s not too late to tell Buffy the truth.”

***

A cool wind blew storm clouds over the moon and left the streets of Sunnydale dark. The rumble of thunder sounded closer.

Buffy held Spike’s hand as they walked back to her dorm room. She needed the reassuring comfort of his hand around hers.

Spike, for once, was not talking. He’d been lost in thought since Buffy revived him from his faint on her mother’s kitchen floor. This was not of the good. Non-talky Spike was unnatural.

He was figuring out a way to dump her. It’s what men always did, although the others – her Dad, Angel, Scott and Parker – hadn’t worried about dumping her. They just dumped away. Spike thinking about leaving before he ran off was a tribute to his attraction for her – other than the fact he’d had sex with her a whole bunch and got her pregnant.

Even if Spike wasn’t calculating on ripping her heart out and running off because he was tired of her, there was still her mother’s demand for Marriage and Job.

Joyce’s words made Buffy uncomfortable. Buffy didn’t like to be reminded that her father had been too busy having an affair with his secretary to stick around for Buffy’s teen years. She felt her abandonment by her father as bright and sharp as though it was yesterday. She didn’t want anything like that to happen to her own baby. She wanted a nice, normal home for her baby and for herself.

Buffy couldn’t imagine Spike living in a three-bedroom suburban house with an eat-in kitchen, an attached garage and a Buffy-wife and Buffy-baby, or two.

Spike was a vampire. Vampires were wild and carefree, doing what they wanted, who they wanted, when they wanted – hunting, killing, having sex, drinking booze, and, if Spike was any example, stealing and gambling, too. The government’s chip curtailed Spikes’ hunting and killing, and he’d only shown interest in having sex with her lately and not killing her like before, but his vampire nature was the same. Wasn’t it?

It wasn’t as if she didn’t like Spike. She’d told him so this morning, and she did like him, most of the time. When he wasn’t annoying the daylights out of her, or pointing out some flaw in her character (all the more irritating for being true), he could be a good companion and a not-so-bad boyfriend.

Being fun to hang with and scorching hot in bed didn’t make Spike into husband material.

Which meant she was either going to be a single mom, yuck, or find another husband. If her baby’s Daddy in Residence wasn’t going to be Spike, who could she pick? Buffy didn’t exactly have a horde of men chasing after her she could tag with the honor of being her husband and baby’s father.

The whole situation made her head hurt.

***

Aspen woke up with a splitting headache. She found herself lying on a bed in a strange, dark room. The room was plain and decorated like a cheap hotel room. Bed, veneer dresser, nightstand with an ugly lamp and thin speckled carpet. The room had no window.

She groped around and switched on the lamp next to the bed.

To her astonishment, Thomas was standing on the other side of the room, staring at her with a menacing glower. He looked sick and creepy. He stood stiffly, his face and hands deadly pale and his eyes rimmed with red. He was wearing all black clothes she had never seen before.

“Thomas? Thomas? I’ve been so worried. Where are we? What’s going on?”

Thomas paced the floor on the other side of the room and muttered to himself. When he stopped pacing and turned to face Aspen, his teeth elongated, his brow crumpled and his eyes flared harsh yellow. He roared and leaped on the bed, pinning her down.

Aspen screamed as he lowered his head to her neck and sank his fangs into her vein.

***

When they arrived at Buffy’s dorm, they stopped outside the building. Spike wanted to come in, but the way Buffy acted the entire time they were walking home, made him think she didn’t want him hanging about tonight.

She’d been subdued and sulky and wrapped up in her own thoughts, although she’d held his hand the entire way, something she’d never before done in public. Maybe it was her hormones, or the scene at her mother’s house, but Buffy was not her usual happy self.

He wasn’t exactly feeling so happy himself, what with Joyce’s ultimatum and his faint from the shock of those terrifying words - Marriage and Job.

Joyce’s words made him uncomfortable. As much as he didn’t want to do anything poncey like getting married, he knew she was right. Little Nibbles needed a dad around.

It had taken him some time, and struggling through more than one difficult conversation with Clem, but he’d realized he loved Buffy. She was everything a woman ought to be. Well, everything his woman ought to be.

He imagined himself, after a night of guzzling booze and blood, fighting and cheating at kitten poker, coming home to Buffy and his brat. Buffy would meet him at the door in a slutty night gown, ready to bang his eyes crooked. She’d take care of the baby and never nag him about staying out all night with the boys.

Keeping Buffy around full time might be a bit of all right.

He was only signing on for shacking up with her. None of this marriage nonsense Clem and Joyce were spouting. He’d put his foot down on that, give Goldilocks the old It’s Only A Piece Of Paper Runaround. Wished he could meet the bloke that invented that dodge.

He remembered the night they’d been engaged to be married as a result of Red’s spell and how she’d perched on the arm of his chair and kissed him. They’d both been as happy as if they had good sense. Brassed everybody else off, too. It’d almost be worth it to marry Buffy and piss off her Watcher and Monkey Boy.

What he couldn’t feature was going to work every day like some sodding human. He was a vampire. He had a duty to himself and his kind to remain aloof from any gainful activity such as work. Buffy might be able to lash him into getting married – it was only a piece of paper, after all - but there was no way in the deepest pits of Gehenna she was going to trick him into getting a job.

Shacking up and no job. That was all he’d go along with. Buffy would bust his nose proper for not going along with her mother’s plan to make a House Wanker out of him, but he’d hold fast to his principles.

They stood in front of the dorm, not talking, still holding hands. Spike stroked her hair and imagined what his unlife was going to be like now that he was in love with Buffy and, he was pretty certain, she was in love with him. He liked being in love, even if he made a big fool out of himself on a regular basis.

“Shall I come in?” Spike asked, hoping for an invitation and feeling like a ponce for asking instead of assuming he was welcome.

***

“Shall I come in?”

Buffy chewed her lip. This didn’t sound like the sort of thing Spike would be saying if he was getting ready to dump her. Maybe he wanted to get in more mind-bursting sex before he said Hasta la vista, baby.

Buffy wanted to invite Spike to spend the night, but it didn’t seem fair if she was going to break up with him and find a new normal father for her baby and husband for herself. Not that she’d be breaking his heart or anything. Being a vampire, he didn’t exactly have a heart, did he? Still, she wasn’t ready to deliver the Can’t We Be Friends Speech.

“We’ve got a lot to process,” she said. “Maybe, we shouldn’t see each other for a few days.”

The furious look on Spike’s face made her immediately regret her words.

“Right, then, Slayer. See you around,” Spike said and walked off.

Buffy called out his name, but he was already gone. Should she run after him? What good would it do, if she was going to be looking for a normal guy to marry and be her baby’s father? It was better this way. A clean break and no explanations.

A bolt of lightening seared through the night sky. The clouds opened and cold rain dumped down on Sunnydale, and on Buffy, who was standing in front of her dorm, looking into the night where Spike had disappeared.

When she was thoroughly soaked with cold rain, she trudged upstairs to her room and cried herself to sleep.