Dawn woke up to a throbbing head, a mouth full of bile, and people screeching in panic. She blithely wondered what demon had attacked them this time. She pried her eyes open, wishing instantly that she had kept them closed. She moaned, pushed herself up, and stared uncomprehendingly at the plaster in front of her.

There was a Dawn-sized dent in the wall.

She turned around, wondering why no one had rushed over to make sure she was OK. She was surprised to see everyone freaking out. Anya was sitting on the couch, her eyes huge, head bouncing back and forth as she tried to keep up with the different people yelling at each other. Tara was trying to be as invisible as possible. Buffy was glaring at Xander, her green eyes flashing. Willow was trying to run interference. And Spike looked…taken aback?

Dawn blinked. When did Spike EVER look taken aback? Geesh, a girl got knocked against a wall for five minutes and everything went to hell. With a groan, she forced her protesting muscles to work. She staggered towards the group. God, her back must be a huge mass of bruises.

“Buffy?” she called, trying to get her sister’s attention. “Buffy? Buffy! SHUT UP!”

Surprisingly, every mouth snapped shut and Dawn was suddenly pinned by every eye in the room.

“Um. Hi. Someone want to tell me what’s going on?” Silence greeted her words. Her gaze skipped around to each of the supposed-adults in the room. “Anyone? Buffy? Xander? Willow? Tara. Please, you’re the voice of reason.” Why were they all looking at her like she’d grown another head?

“You…know us?” Willow asked tentatively.

“Ah, only for like, the past five years,” Dawn said incredulously. What the hell was going on?

“All of us?” Buffy asked, one eyebrow raised skeptically. She looked like Cordelia, Dawn thought with a shudder.

“Well, no. I’ve known you my entire life, Buffy. I’m your SISTER.” Buffy looked confused for a second, before memories slowly started invading her consciousness.

“Oh. Right…yeah, you…are.”

Dawn didn’t like this. She didn’t like this at all.

“And do you know how we came to be here, young Miss?” Spike asked her. Dawn gaped at her pseudo-big brother. Did he just call her young miss? And what was with that accent? Oh no. A very bad feeling crawled down her spine.

“Buffy? How…how old are you?” Her sister gave her the most brainless ‘duh’ look. Dawn knew that look. Dawn was very well acquainted with that look, actually; she just hadn’t seen it since…

“15. Duh.” Buffy rolled her eyes at her annoying kid sister. God, she had to be drain bramaged. Suddenly her eyes narrowed. “Did YOU steal my uniform?” Dawn gawped at Buffy. Was she serious?

“NO. Why in the world would I do that?”

“Because you’re my bratty little sister you…brat!” Buffy finished lamely. She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Why couldn’t Dawn leave her alone so she could finish chatting up Mr. Hottie?

“How old do I look to you, Buffy?” Dawn asked warily. There was no way Buffy could mistake her for the ten-year-old version of herself.

“You’re 10, Dawnie. Now why don’t you stop bugging me? You’re not old enough to be playing with us. Don’t make me call mom.” Dawn sighed resolutely. This was not going to be easy. But calling mom was a brilliant idea; who knew Buffy had those when she was 15?

“Look, all of you just stay put. Do NOT leave the house! I’m going to go find Mom and Giles.” Without waiting for a response, a majorly wigged Dawn rushed out of the room. She needed to find her Mom; she would make everything better!

She burst into the kitchen.

“Mom, I need you to…OH. MY. GOD. My eyes! Oh! Oh, no! This…GILES!” There, on the floor, was her MOTHER and what amounted for a father figure going at it like bunnies. She tried to look away, but she was frozen in horror at the sight. This was so not happening to her! Finally freeing herself from her stupefaction, Dawn ran out of the kitchen and slammed the door shut. OK, so apparently, she was completely on her own. It was up to her to save everyone. Great.

And her mother so owed her therapy. Lots of it.

***

Anya was bored. These people were not gods. None of them were remotely attractive enough. The one with unnaturally pale hair could be a demi-god; that was a distinct possibility, especially in light of his hair color and physical make up. And the brunette was quite attractive. But they weren’t full-god material. Maybe they were slaves or servants? It was quite possible. Anya sighed. Still bored.

She perked up when the pretty blonde woman with the crooked nose left the attractive pale-haired man’s side. This was her perfect opportunity. She walked over to the dazed looking man with a smile.

“Hei. Vil De liker ha ru og tilfreds kjønn med meg ?” She smiled at the man attractively.

“P-pardon me?” William said in confusion. Whatever language she was speaking was not one he’d studied in school. The woman looked a bit put off, and he felt contrite for not being able to understand her.

“Vil De liker ha KJØNN med meg ? De vet, anbringer Deres penis i min skjede ?” When he still looked helplessly at her, Anyanka rolled her eyes. Ok, simple. Men liked simple, as they were simple creatures. She made a circle with her thumb and pointer finger of her right hand. She presented him with it, and smirked when his gaze became more confused. She stuck the pointer finger of her right hand in his face, assessed his package, and then opted for her middle finger. She stuck it through the circle made by her connected fingers several times before he finally god the message.

Spike realized with dawning horror what the strange woman was asking him. He started backing away from her, his eyes wide and horrified.

“You…I…MADAM! That is hardly appropriate behavior f-f-for a lady! I-i-i-I OMPH!” Will went sprawling as he tripped over something on the floor. He stood up quickly, sure his face was flaming bright red. But the woman had propositioned him! He was a decent person, a gentleman in all respects. This was completely improper!

“What happened?” Buffy cried, running around the corner.

“Billy Idol here fell on his ass,” Xander said with a smirk. He sidled up to the blonde bombshell. “So, you wanna go get some coffee or something sometime?” Xander asked with what he thought was a charming smile. That’s what all the cool guys did, right? Took the girl out for coffee?

William felt his heart sink. He’d never had much luck with women, and he was certain that he couldn’t stand up to any sort of competition. This other man was obviously far more confident and composed than he. He sighed, prepared for the rejection that was surely immanent.

Buffy gave Xander a disgusted look, eying him up and down. He was a fashion train wreck. What was he doing wearing that color-vomit of a Hawaiian shirt? And those disgustingly shapeless pants? Really, he thought he had a chance when hunk of delicious man meat was staring at her with soulful blue eyes?

“As if,” she sniffed and flounced over to the stud.

Xander felt the sting of rejection harshly. His shoulders slumped, and he stared at the floor. So much for that. He felt a tap on his arm, and turned to see—What was her name? Right. Anyanka—Anyanka looking at him expectantly.

“Kjønn?” she asked hopefully. Xander stared at what she was doing with her hands. He looked up to her face, completely disbelieving. There was no way…but she did. She really did. Glancing at Willow, who was absorbed in conversation with the shy girl, he nodded enthusiastically, and grabbed the girl’s hand. Where could they go? He glanced at the stairs and figured what the hell. He ran the entire way, settling on one of the rooms. Tonight, Xander Harris was getting laid! No one would ever believe this!

***

Dawn ignored Xander and Anya’s leaving. Wasn’t like it was an abnormal occurrence; and she really needed to figure out how to get everyone back to the proper ages. She glanced at Buffy and Spike, who were happily chatting each other up. It was nice to see Buffy flirting with Spike…even if she was doing it in a very immature 9th-grade kind of way. With a sigh, Dawn walked over to the two witches—who may not know they WERE witches—and prayed for some sort of divine inspiration.

“Ah…hey.” She shifted awkwardly from foot to foot as familiar eyes regarded her without recognition.

“Hi. Dawn, right?” Willow asked with a smile.

“Um, yeah. So…you’re getting along?” she asked tentatively. She saw the small smiles the two girls threw each other’s way.

“Yeah. Tara here is really cool…she knows all sorts of stuff about magick. She’s a practicing wicca!” Willow said excitedly. She was practically bouncing in her seat. “She said I could learn, and I totally think I can, because I can feel her magick! There’s neat little jolt of weird electricy-vibey tingly stuff that shoots through me whenever we touch. Wouldn’t it be neat if I could like…float a pencil or-or-or tie someone’s shoelaces!”

Dawn hadn’t missed how Tara’s eyes widened when Willow said something about ‘electric tingles.’ Dawn shook her head. Magick her foot!

“So, are the tinglies a witchy thing? Does it happen with everyone who’s interested, or gifted or something?” Willow asked excitedly. Tara slowly shook her head, her gaze assessing.

“I think that’s a ‘you’re my lover take me now’ kinda thing, Wills,” Dawn said dryly. This whole saving everyone thing was not all it was cut out to be. But no one said she couldn't have a little fun while she worked on the problem.

“I…what?”

“You, Tara. You’re lovers. And not the annoyingly schmoopy kind either. Well, at least not since that first month or so after you came out.” She snagged some forgotten pop corn off the table, hiding her smirk. And they thought Buffy had a problem with De Nile. Dawn happily ignored the part of her that knew Willow was still stuck in her 15-year-old mindset. She glanced at Tara, who seemed to be taking the news in stride. She looked contemplative.

“No! I mean, n-n-not that you’re not a nice person, Tara! I just have Xander crushage. Major Xander crushage! We’re talking about unrequited love crushage!” Willow looked a little too desperate to be trying to convince JUST them. Dawn just snorted and turned her thoughts towards fixing this mess. It would help if she knew HOW this mess had happened in the first place.

***

Joyce sighed in contentment, basking in the afterglow of her…third? Fourth? Orgasm. The man was an animal. And she loved it. She rolled over and planted a kiss on his chest. Her back pulled in irritation, and Joyce realized the floor really was unnecessarily hard.

“How about we find ourselves a bed? Or at least some carpet?” she asked with a devilish grin that promised the night wasn’t over by a long shot.

Hand in hand, they made their way upstairs, ignoring the party that seemed to be going on in another room; they had their own, private party to get back to. Ripper dragged her through the first door he came across. He slammed the door and had her pressed against it in seconds, his mouth claiming hers. With a sigh, Joyce gave him what they both wanted.

***

Buffy found the surprising contrast between William’s bad boy image and his soft-spoken, almost naive nature totally cute. He would sometimes stop and look at her adoringly, spouting off some poetry that made her feel like the queen of the world. It helped that he had a rockin’ bod too. The squad would be soooo jealous…if this weren’t another one of her increasingly weird dreams. She sighed loudly.

“What pains you sweet Buffy? Whatever it is that has brought a frown to your flawless visage, I shall drive it away, even if it costs me my life!” William had never felt this depth of feeling, this strongly about anyone…not even Cecily, who he’d admired from a far for years. She paled in comparison to the woman before him.

“I just wish you were for real,” she said moodily. William smiled and caressed her check, tucking a strand of gold behind her ear. Normally, he wouldn’t dare be so forward, but he’d recently decided that such a fantastical world as this could only be the product of his dreams.

“Ah, but sadly it is YOU who are not real,” he said, true sadness lacing his tone. What he would give for this moment to exist. But he was rewarded with a giggle that made his heart soar and his heart clench.

“This is one of those does a crazy person know they’re crazy type things, isn’t it?” He gave her a confused look, but she just waved him off, her laughter tinkling merrily in his ear.

“Well, since this is a dream, try some rollos.” Buffy picked up the roll of chocolate-covered caramel goodness and popped it into a surprised William’s mouth. He slowly closed his mouth, Buffy giggling at the expression of shock that slid over his face.

“This…this is absolutely sinful!” he exclaimed.

“More?” Buffy asked with a pleased grin. He nodded enthusiastically like a little boy. “Open up.” He dutifully opened his mouth, ready for another treat, but he misjudged the timing. His mouth caught Buffy’s fingers before she had a chance to pull away. Eyes wide, and unsure what was driving him on, William slowly sucked on the delicate digits, running his tongue along the pads of her sensitive fingers. Buffy gasped, and her eyes seemed to glaze over. William felt something strange and foreign rumble deeply within him. A smell suddenly flooded his nostrils; the most basic part of him told him it was a woman’s arousal, though he had no basis for knowing that. And something snapped.

Buffy felt herself hauled roughly against William, and brought her legs up to wrap around his waist. The feelings he created in her were strong and extremely powerful; she couldn’t deny them, didn’t want to. She was drawn in a heated, demanding kiss. He kissed with sinful elegance, his tongue demanding but not suffocating. He was perfect. She moaned; this side of William was way more in line with the clothes. Buffy felt a painful prick on her lips, and pulled away in surprise.

William growled when he tasted something more powerful, more delicious than even the chocolate moments before. It splashed on his tongue and infused the kiss with something intense. The soft lips he’d been kissing were suddenly gone, and he growled his disapproval.

“Did…did you just growl? And what…what happened to your face?” Trying to form coherent thoughts through a haze of lust was not easy. Buffy had always thought that had been the stuff of romance novels and fan fiction, but no, it really was quite hard.

William reached up and touched his face. He gasped, startled, when he encountered unfamiliar features. His brow was more distended, and his teeth were quite sharp. What was going on?

“Oh Goddess! What are you?!” a voice shrieked. William felt something primal rise at the shriek of fear, and he turned towards the source with a growl.

“Oh, relax. Spike…ah, William’s a vampire. Nothing to worry about,” Dawn said dismissively.

“He is?”

“I am?” Buffy and Spike spoke at the same time. The looked at each other. Buffy reached out and rang a hand over his ridges, and touched a fang. William felt a shudder run through him, and a powerful lust over take him.

“Cool,” Buffy said with a grin. She suddenly found herself firmly nestled in strong arms. Oooooohhhh, muscles! He took the stairs two at a time, eager to reach a destination he was searching for by instinct. He approached one door, but heard the sounds of sex coming from it. So he walked to the end of the hall and burst through the door. There. That’s what he was looking for. A plush bed stood invitingly.

He tossed his prize through the air. She yelped when she bounced on the bed. In a fluid motion, he ripped the shirt off of his body. Buffy couldn't help but stare at the beauty in front of her. He was ripped. His pale skin flowed smoothly over well-developed muscles. Her mouth watered, wondering if he tasted as good as he looked.

As Buffy perused him, the demon retreated under the overwhelming doubts and insecurities of the man. William wondered if he was somehow malformed, if he was unattractive in some way.

“Pretty,” she breathed. Something warm and delicious spread through him at her words, and he felt that strange part of him that had to be the vampire purr in contentment. He had to admit that he understood exactly how the vampire felt. For a second, William felt his Victorian sentiments rush back to him.

“Miss Buffy, I…”

“Buffy,” she said firmly. William’s eyes glazed over when she pushed herself up and pulled his head to her, her lips just inches away form his own. “I think you can call me Buffy.” And she kissed him, sweetly, tenderly. His demon took over, and before he knew it, they were both naked. He looked down at her body, awe in his eyes. He’d heard stories from the more crass boys, stories about a woman’s body…but he’d never believed them. Buffy surpassed anything that could be put into words.

God, what was he looking at? What was he thinking? Was he repulsed? Shouldn’t he be just…you know…getting it over with? She started squirming uncomfortably. There was something wrong with her, there had to be. She was deformed, ugly, he didn’t want her, he thought she was…

“Bloody magnificent. You put Venus to shame.” The conviction in his voice made her melt. Aaaaaaaawe! She grinned shyly at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” William said with a smile. She was adorable and perfect. He stiffened when her legs wrapped around his, and he could feel her heat pressing against his erection. He didn’t really want to admit it, but he didn’t *exactly* know what to do.

“Ah, Mi—Buffy. I don’t…that is to say, this is…not…”

“It’s my first time too,” she admitted almost shyly.

“Then it shall be quite memorable for us both.”