SPIKE'S MARCH 2007 Q&A

**As a humanist, what is your opinion on the age-old question of whether a male and female can truly be friends? If not, why not?

Who says I'm a humanist?

**Didn't you save the world twice?

Three times.

**So doesn't that mean you're concerned with the interest and welfare of humans?

For all you know, I was making sure the food supply for the next millennium or so. Don't much fancy eating demons.

**There's also a theory circulating that you were a classical scholar before you were turned. We know you wrote poetry dedicated to love and beauty, and you loved a mortal Slayer and took care of her sister, and--

Belt up. Fine, I'm a humanist. What's the question?

**As a humanist, what is your opinion on the age-old question of whether a male and female can truly be friends? If not, why not?

No sex, lust or passion? No secret dreams or desires? On either side? ::snort:: Suppose it's possible. Far as I'm concerned, I've learned friends don't - and shouldn't - complicate things with sex. Learned friendship comes from shared experiences, trust and loyalty that's proven over time. Know it's a lot harder for me to get there if we become lovers.

**How do you deal with discouragement and disappointment?

Used to drink and break things. Since getting back my soul, it's sulking, brooding and writing.... um... I write it all out.

**Could you explain what the "punk" philosophy is?

You like goth, indie, grunge or Britpop? Then punk's your roots and in your blood whether you like it or not. I'm not a bloody encyclopedia, children. Do your own homework.

**What is your musical guilty pleasure?

The Moulin Rouge. Tasty in its time.

**Do you have any interest in, or have you ever thought about, writing a play?

Did that once, in blank verse. Everybody died. In the play, not 'cause I off'd them. Was so bad, got dunked in a college fountain for it.

**How was your first kiss?

Killing. Dark alley, Dru. You know.

**Favorite item of clothing.

Buffy's.... Oh. You mean my own? ::looks at you::

**Favorite food.

You volunteering? Didn't think so.

**Where do you see yourself in 10 years time and how do you get there?

Like to be invited to a Summers' Christmas. See Dawn sitting pretty with a bloke who loves her and a couple of kiddies playing at her feet. See Buffy smiling and happy, living the life she deserves. Like to get there with my soul and my sanity intact, ta.

**What advice do you have for a fledgling vampire?

Don't suck.

~ ~ ~

SPIKE'S FEBRUARY 2007 Q&A

**Do you have a Valentine's Day message for us?

See me any night if you'd like me to be your valentine. If you'd rather give yourself some loving instead, consider coming over anyway and letting me watch.

**I know you quit smoking now, but when did you first start and why?

What makes you think I've quit? Loaned my lighter to Red, didn't I, so she could light her candles in that last ritual in the hellmouth. Bint's never given it back, regardless I've asked. Started smoking in 1881 after eating a male prostitute near The Embankment. Bugger left behind a cigarette case filled with gold-tipped cigarettes. Waste not, want not my mum always said.

**Do you play any musical instruments?

Slayer always screamed for me when she came. Music to my ears.

**Who is the best actor you've ever seen?

Henry Irving. Ellen Terry. Sarah Bernhardt. Sarah slept in a coffin, you know that? You don't know any of them? Not my problem.

**If you had to live without one of your five senses, which one would you be able to "give up"?

Vampire, remember? Still have them all after being turned, and they're upgraded at that. But that's not the game, is it? So let me think a minute. Right. Would give up my sense of security in an instant. Miss living on the edge, know what I mean?

**And which one would be totally indispensable?

Touch. It's not just a sense, it's an entire world.

**Is there any mystery or question that you have wanted to have explained or answered?

Why didn't Buffy love me?

**If you could record a song with any artist/band who would it be and why?

Who was it recorded, "Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-Wow?" Seriously, there's a little German musical you've probably never heard of called 'Tanz der Vampire.' Translates to 'Dance of the Vampire.' I'd do that.

**What annoys you most about other drivers?

That my shiny new soul-conscience won't let me eat them after they've pissed the fucking hell out of me.

What do you mean those are all the questions I get?

~ ~ ~

SPIKE'S NOVEMBER 2006 Q&A

**Who makes you nervous?

Anyone who stores pointy wooden objects in bed. Anyone stupid enough to think he can dance with the devil and not end up... well...dancing with the devil. There's always consequences, know what I mean?

**What makes you nervous?

Gaudy jewelry. Especially twinkly little amulets.

**The American Express quiz

I like the guys from "What's in your wallet?" better.

**Childhood ambition: To avoid wearing the Little Lord Fauntleroy suit my mum had made for me. Lookin' like bloody Blue Boy was never high on my list.

**Fondest memory: Sunlight on my face.

**Soundtrack: The Little Prince.

**Retreat: Fuck retreating.

**Wildest dream: Thinking Buffy might love me.

**Proudest moment: Getting it right down in the Hellmouth.

**Biggest challenge: Keeping my shiny soul untarnished.

**Alarm clock: Don't have one.

**First job: Surviving Winchester. That'd be grade school for the rest of you.

**Indulgence: Sex

**Last purchase: Purchase? Last thing I nicked, a stamp to send a postcard to Rome to let Buffy know her one true love had survived the L.A. apocalypse. I'll leave it up to you who that is.

**Favorite movie: It sure isn't Dracula.

**Inspiration: Buffy.

**My life: is over. Undead, remember?

~ ~ ~
SPIKE'S SEPTEMBER 2006 Q&A

**There are times when your arms look amazing, specifically your triceps. What exercises do you do to work this part of your arms and do you workout at home or in a gym with a trainer?

I ate a trainer once, maybe the routines stuck. Whenever I feel like killing someone, I go 10 rounds with a Slayer instead. Push-ups in bed are also useful. Thanks for the compliment, love. Let me know if you'd like to help with the push-ups sometime.

**Which musical instrument would you like to learn how to play?

A soprano.

**Is it easy for you to forgive and forget?

It's easy to forgive and forget when you can rip people's heads off. Far harder after you get a sodding soul. What can I say? I'm trying.

**You are always asked what you and that actor guy who's always hanging around had in common. Besides being funny when you're angry, can you elaborate on what you and that actor guy do not have in common?

**He doesn't drink blood. His lyrics are great while my poetry is bloody awful. He is successful in his life while, after all is said and done, I'm still fists and fangs and little else.

**Who is your favorite female blues singer?

Sorry, not into the blues. You'd be better off asking the brooding poofter this question. Let me know when you want to talk punk.

**Word or phrase that you overuse?

Bloody hell.

**Either/Or: waffles or pancakes?

Either. With blood syrup.

**Hot or cold weather?

Vampire, remember? The temperature doesn't much matter to me. But I'll keep you warm or cool you down however you'd like.

**Eyes that shoot laser beams or x-ray vision?

X-ray vision, and you know what I'd be looking at, right?

**Coke or Pepsi?

Blood, thanks.

**A small part in a big budget movie that is going to be seen worldwide or the lead in an independent movie?

A part in Buffy's life would have been nice.