Author’s Note: Thanks again to Kar for a great, fast beta job. Things will be slower for a while, I think. I have a good idea of where I want this story to go, but I’m worried that I’m writing myself into a corner. Feedback very much appreciated.

In our eighth installment Buffy does some dancing and thinking, and then a familiar face makes an appearance.


Chapter Eight

It had become something of a routine in her new life, so she was surprised when Spike didn't show up at the Bronze. After patrol they just both seemed to end up there. Maybe he had something better to do. Whereas she had nothing to do. During the day Tara and Xander worked, Spike slept, Tashi went to school, Connie did ... whatever it was Watchers did. Xander and Tara didn't exactly hit the dance clubs much anymore, but after patrol she still had energy to burn. Since he'd come back from LA, Spike had been there too, every night.

It was weird to be missing him, but there it was. For one thing, she was totally alone. She didn't know anyone, and she couldn't imagine what she would say to any of the guys who looked her over. She was three decades out of date, besides which she didn’t especially want to talk to any of them.

And when she was alone, she was a lot more aware of the general suck quotient of life. Her detachment from the world at large was more obvious when she had no conversation to distract her from the unfamiliar music or overheard discussions of foreign pop culture minutia. Without something else to concentrate on, she realized how hot it was, how the stale recirculated air made her skin feel gritty, how the sweat of dancing bodies smelled.

"Buffy? Hey! You alone tonight?"

She felt a little relieved to see Jess and his regular cadre of pals. She had seen them all there before, but they usually kept their distance. Given the whole Lieuko/Anne/Drusilla debacle, she could understand why Jess and Spike weren't exactly best buds.

"Looks like," she replied in a friendly tone. She wanted to be nice because he was Xander's son, but the goo-goo eyes he gave her made her feel a little icky. He was way too young... or actually, he was older based on years lived on the earth, but again, he was Xander's son.

She couldn't imagine what harm it would do to join them for a drink. And then one drink turned into a few, and then they ordered some nachos, and she smiled and nodded as they talked about some politicians she knew nothing about. That actually made her feel less out of date than if they'd talked about TV shows. She'd never exactly kept up with that sort of stuff her first time around either. She was actually a little relieved when Jess asked her to dance. More moving, less talking.

His hand on her back reminded her that dancing wasn't the only thing that made her feel a little sexy since coming back. There had been that backrub at Spike's, which she had managed to repress until she felt Jess's sweatier palm on her skin where the shirt had pulled loose from her jeans. She knew she shouldn't be remembering Spike's hands with such a tingle. And she needed to can it if the look in Jess's eyes was any indication. If he read the wrong thing in her expression, it would be major badness.

She begged off another dance and emptied a pitcher into her cup.

Buffy knew she should be enjoying herself. They were friendly and fun and her age, or actually a little older. The way the guys were looking at her was flattering. The nachos were making her stomach cramp a little, but they tasted good. The cheap beer didn't taste all that great, but she was buzzing pretty nicely.

And yet, she still wasn't having any fun.

It wasn't until she raised her fist to knock on his door that she realized Spike might have had a good reason for not being at the Bronze. Like plans, or a date even. He might have company right that minute. He might not want to be disturbed. Oddly enough it didn't once occur to her to just kick his door in like she used to. Was it because he wasn't in a crypt anymore, or was it the soul, or was it just simple respect for all the years he'd put in on the good side?

She was still trying to work that one out when he opened the door.


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“Planning on standing out there all night, slayer?”

She dropped her eyes, and her hand. “I was… I thought you might have company or something. You weren’t at the Bronze tonight.”

“Just me, pet.” Spike took a step back to let her into the apartment. “I did drop by, actually. You looked busy.” She had, in fact, looked like she was having a good time. On the dance floor, in little Harris’s arms, she had seemed so like he remembered her from years ago.

“I guess. I was waiting for you.”

“Were you now?”

She sat down heavily on his couch. “Do you ever get used to it, to being so much older than you look? I mean, you’re like permanently 30.”

“Twenty-eight, thank you.”

“Whatever.” But she smiled at him. “You know what I mean. Like, have you seen Angel since he got all human? His hair is going grey.”

“I did notice that, yes.”

Buffy shook her head. “It was so strange to see him eat. He never used to eat.” She rolled her head against the back of the couch.

“Upset you, didn’t it?”

“Well, yeah!” She huffed. “Do you have some Tums or something? Do vampires ever get indigestion?”

He joined her on the couch and threw his arm across the back. He might have been imagining it, but it seemed like she was rubbing her scalp against his sleeve. “Eat someone too old, and heartburn’s a guarantee.”

She shook her head at him and sighed. He picked up her palm and ran his thumb across it. “Reflexology,” he claimed. "Feel any better?"

"Yeah, maybe." Buffy licked her lips and sighed. "You don't have to stop though."

He felt a real smile coming on. "Right then. We'll just keep going to you feel all better then."

She made a little humming noise. "I won't hold you to that. I'd just settle for feeling not crappy." She flexed her hand in his grip. "Food tastes good, but it makes me all blechy. Too much to drink, and, well, more blech. It's nice to just have something that feels good that won't make me sick afterward."

"Know lots of ways to make a girl feel good, slayer," he told her before thinking better of it.

"I bet you do," she replied lightly. She dropped her eyes suddenly. "Look, I shouldn't have just assumed you'd be there tonight, and I wasn't trying to, like, hunt you down or anything. I just... missed you, I guess."

He tried not to read too much into that. After all she only knew about six other people in the world any longer. Still, it was difficult to ignore how she'd become so comfortable with him or the warmth of her skin, or the way her knee brushed against his.

"Your company is not unwelcome, pet, not ever," he assured her.

"Neither is yours, you know. You should have said hi. Or was it Jess you were avoiding? I know you guys aren't real friendly."

Spike sighed. "Can't say that I blame him. Poor sod was ass over teakettle for Lulu, and if I'd done my duty years before, it never would have happened."

She cleared her throat. "Xander mentioned that Drusilla came to town a few times before that."

For the most part, he'd learned to deal with the guilt, to compartmentalize it. No use dwelling on all those he'd killed and let be killed by others. But this one he wasn't getting over. "I couldn't bring myself to do it, not before the soul, and even then..."

"I know what you mean," she whispered, wrapping her hand around his.

"Word on the street was she was after my girl. I thought certain sure she meant Anne, but turns out we were just an afterthought. She was nattering on about the plague of slayers. Even I couldn't make any sense of her." Or maybe he'd just been out of practice. He'd only been half-listening anyway, looking for his chance, standing between her and Anne’s corpse, knowing this time he was going to do it.

Buffy squeezed his hand again. Her skin was warm and real. Spike thought he'd adjusted to it, her unexpected return. Other times it snuck up on him that his slayer was alive again. His free hand brushed against her cheek. "Still can't get over it, you being back." Her eyes closed; her heart rate soared. Spike had the feeling suddenly that he was dreaming the whole thing.

She opened her eyes and gave him a shy smile. "I should go. But this was... nice." She let go of his hand. "If you don't want to go to the Bronze, we could get a late dinner or something after patrol tomorrow, after we drop off Tashi," she informed him as she walked backward toward his door. "If you wanted to."

He nodded his agreement, but as she closed the door he realized he wasn't entirely sure if the slayer had just asked him for a date.



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Xander woke with a start with the door banged closed. Buffy winced and gave him an apologetic little grimace. "Sorry."

He waved her off. "Not your fault I fell asleep in front of the television instead of my comfy bed." His back cracked as he sat up.

"Were you waiting up for me?" she asked.

He smiled. In part he had been. Even since her return he had an uneasy feeling each time he let her out of his sight. "Maybe. Jess called and said he saw you at the Bronze."

Buffy frowned. "He checks in with you?"

"In this town? We both sleep better knowing the other one made it home okay." He shook his head. "Seven years without a slayer in Sunnydale. We learned to be careful."

With a sigh she joined him on the couch. "I hadn't thought about that. I mean, you grew up here. Was it super dangerous before I came here?"

"Nah. Oddly enough, I think we can thank Mayor Wilkins for that. In addition to keeping the sewers clean, he made sure most of the activity stayed on the edges of town. Sacrifice a few babies and the demons keep in line."

Buffy made a face. "I had noticed patrols were... busy."

Xander rolled his shoulders and straightened out his legs. He had to be up in a few hours. Which reminded him... "Did you go for another pass after you left the club? Jess said you took off early." He had his own ideas about where she'd gone, but he wasn't about to tell Jesse what he thought.

"No, I went by Spike's place," she answered. He rubbed his temples to cover his smirk and watched her scuff her toe against the coffee table. "He's a lot more... human than I remember." She took a deep breath. "We're going to get dinner after patrol tomorrow, so don't worry about fixing anything."

He felt his eyebrows rise up. "Dinner? Like a date?"

"I don't know. That's crazy, isn't it?"

He knew he had to tread carefully. "Not crazy, but maybe not w-- Aw, crap!"

Buffy jumped up too when she heard the chimes sound. "What was that?"

"Charm alarm. Tara set it up" He swept the odds and ends off the trunk he used as a coffee table and offered her an axe. Hefting his own weapon, he took a calming breath. "Something's within 10 feet of the perimeter."

"Closer than that, actually."

And there she was, with the brown and green veins twisting her skin to make her face almost unrecognizable. She pushed a stray red curl off her forehead and smiled at them both, giving that little wave that was so Willow that he could barely restrain himself from running her through. He wanted so very, very much to kill the thing that had taken over his best friend. But, nothing had taken her over. It was just Willow. Which made is so much worse, but also stayed his hand.

He couldn't kill Willow.

Eventually his son would forgive him for standing next to Spike at Lieuko's funeral. He knew all too well what it was like to see the face of someone you loved on something you were meant to eradicate. The weapon became so heavy in your hand...

She spoke and her face slipped back into its human disguise. "Wow, look at you, Buffy!"

"Willow?"

Buffy looked like someone had just smacked her. And then she hefted the axe just slightly.

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Willow assured her. "I'm not going to hurt anyone."

Xander gripped the dagger tighter. "Will, swell of you to drop by, but why don't you leave now?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "He's become such a party pooper in his old age." She pressed her hands together. "Sorry, Buffy, we'll have to catch up some other time. Great to see you again though. And now there are three!"

There was a flash of light as she temporarily took the form of a tree before fading into the nimbus of light. "She's coming back," Buffy said quietly. "What did she mean about the three?"

Xander shook his head. "Trying to make sense of anything she says anymore is a losing proposition." His eyes felt raw. "Just try to forget it, and just... be careful."

"That... that was Willow." Buffy rubbed her temples. "I feel a little sick."

He knew that feeling. "You'll feel better in the morning," he lied.


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I really would appreciate some comments. I need to make sure my Buffy and Spike are behaving realistically as things slowly heat up between them. There are obvious issues, I think. Is Buffy just crushing on the only available male she knows? How much is the soul factoring in? Etc. Comments, complaints, let me have ‘em!