A/N: I would've liked to respond to all the reviews (and got this chapter out quicker) but I've been ill so couldn't do much at all. I have read them though and I thank you all, I really do appreciate them.

Thanks again to my beta, Immortal_Beloved. I've made a few small edits since I sent it to her though and because of the gap with me being ill, decided not to re-send it. I tell you this so you know that if there are glaring mistakes, they are my fault, not hers.

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Buffy pushed open the back door, her stake tucked safely into her pocket.

Spike sat on the porch steps, leaning against the railings. The moonlight shone down on him, and with the light from the cigarette held loosely in his hand, it lit up his face and highlighted the cuts and bruises that marred his skin. He was putting his whole weight on the railings of the steps, leaning heavily.

She had completely understood his reason for asking her to stake him, didn’t question it. She hadn’t even needed to hear the words. Buffy knew that if she were in Spike’s position she'd feel the same. She wouldn't want to die with some poison or some disease slowly taking over and stealing all her control, and neither did he. It wasn’t a fitting end for a fighter.

Buffy watched him and briefly considered killing Spike now. She knew it would be easier to catch him unawares, stake him in the back and get it over with.

She wouldn't have to look into his eyes, watching as he turned to dust beneath her, and he wouldn't have to look at her as she pulled her hand back and dug the stake into his heart.

Her hand went to her pocket. Wrapping her fingers around the wood, Buffy took a gentle step towards him, fingers twitching, ready to pull out the stake.

But she remained still. She couldn't do it. Not like that. And not yet.

With the stake still in her pocket, Buffy walked over, sitting down on the porch next to him, echoing a moment from weeks before.

Looking back now, that moment had seemed so much simpler, despite the vampire at her side. She hadn’t realised then how much worse she could feel. The worry over her mother hadn’t turned to heartache over her loss. Dawn had been nothing but an annoying brat, and she didn’t have a suffocating fear that she was going to loose her. Things with Spike were simple then, and it was easy to hate him. Things were different now.

She looked over to him, expecting him to say something. He was perfectly still and quiet, so unlike him. It surprised her that she’d never noticed how much he was constantly moving or talking until he stopped.

Spike was staring out at the sky, seemingly at nothing. The cigarette dangled from his hand, the ash gathering, threatening to fall from the end, yet he didn’t lift it.

She opened her mouth to say something, say anything to break the silence, but before she could, he finally turned to look at her. "You get the stake?" he asked, his voice void of any emotion.

Buffy nodded, her fingers once again going to her pocket. Mr. Pointy had been her weapon of choice. She never used it anymore, too worried about loosing it in a fight. It was a present from Kendra and special to her. For some reason it seemed like the right one to use.

She pulled it out and showed him, forcing a smile. "It's my best one." It was an attempt to lightening the mood, but it seemed to only make everything more real.

"Guess we better get this over with." Spike lifted the cigarette and took a final long drag, then moved to stand up.

Buffy stopped him. "No. I mean... we don't have to rush. Unless you want to. Giles said the poison is going slowly, was only a small dose. There's no hurry," she said, trying to delay the inevitable. She wasn't sure why but she wasn't ready for this yet. She put the stake back into her pocket.

He looked at her, head tilted, a question in his eyes, but he stayed sitting down. She shrugged at his look and added "And hey, my bedtime isn't for hours." It was another attempt to lighten the mood, and this time it worked.

Spike smiled. "Fair enough. Well, you just let me know when it is, and we'll make sure you’re all tucked up safe.”

Smiling briefly, Buffy stared at him, her expression turning serious.

"Why aren't you more upset about this?" She half meant to say it in her head, but it spilled out, loud and clear. His smile disappeared as quickly as hers had, but the anger she expected didn't come.

Instead, he spoke with resigned certainty. "Being upset in't going to change anything." He sighed, and his fingers twitched with the urge to light up another cigarette.

"But I could. My blood could." She knew it was stupid to put the thought in his mind, but she had to know. It made no sense that he wouldn't even suggest that he try to fight for her blood or take Dawn's offer for half of their blood each. He'd jumped in and said no straight away before she even had a chance to think about it. "Didn't it even cross your mind that you could drain me? You'd still live then."

He spoke immediately, without a hint of hesitation or doubt in what he was saying. "And you wouldn't. So what would be the point of that?"

She stared at him, eyes wide. Although the pain he took for her and Dawn was still clear in her mind, and the marks were still clear on his skin, she couldn't quite believe her once enemy was now willing to die for her. "You can't be serious? You'd rather die than see me die?"

"I love you," Spike said simply, as if it explained everything.

And maybe it did. It effectively silenced her, and Buffy got lost in thought again, trying to understand the vampire sitting next to her.

‘I couldn’t live her being in that much pain. I’d let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.’

After a beat, she spoke, her voice quiet. "I gave Angel my blood when he got poisoned."

His own eyes quickly widened for a second at the unexpected statement.

He'd seen her scars, and he knew Angel had drunk from her. A vampire bite didn’t just leave a scar, it left a mark, a hint at ownership and an indication of power over the person who held it. It hummed under the skin in her neck, just like he knew the Master and Dracula had taken bites, too.

It hadn’t surprised him, not much, but he had never known the reason behind Angel’s bite.

He didn't comment, so Buffy continued, stumbling over the words. "He got poisoned too, by Faith and I tried to get her blood but I couldn't so I gave him mine. I ended up in hospital, but I survived...obviously, and so did he."

Once more Spike didn't comment, and Buffy stared at him again. She wasn't sure why she'd told him although part of her had expected him to jump in and ask her to do the same.

What worried Buffy most was that she wouldn’t know what she would do if he did.